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In the last episode of Soap,
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Billy ran into an old flame
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who is involvedwith a strange religious group
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and asked Billy if he'd liketo get involved with them.
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Billy just wantsto get involved with her,
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but that may involvegetting involved over his head.
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The whole thingis very involved.
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Eunice promised Dutch
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that she would find a lawyerwho could spring him
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if Dutch promised her
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he would not tryand spring himself.
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Jodie and Danny got Sallyto tell Mary the truth
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about her lyingabout Burt and herself,
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and now Mary believesthat Sally lied
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and Burt didn't.
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Jessica told Donohue
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that just becauseChester was alive,
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it didn't meanthat their romance was dead.
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However, when she told Chesterabout her romance with Donohue,
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he almost died laughing,
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00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:44,610
but what's happeningwith Corinne's baby
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is no laughing matter.
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Confused?
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00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:51,117
You won't be aftertonight's episode of... Soap.
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This is the storyof two sisters,
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Jessica Tate
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00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:02,628
and Mary Campbell.
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These are the Tates,
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and these are the Campbells.
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And this is Soap.
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Kirt-a-yamenKirt-a-yamen
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Kirt-a-zidi
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Kirt-a-yamen
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Kirt-a-yamenKirt-a-zidi
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Billy, what is that?
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What?
What you were saying?
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00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:53,680
New hit song,
"Kirt-a-yamen Disco Fever."
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Oh.
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00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:57,683
Come on, I'll drop you off
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on my way to prison.
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Eunice, when in the world
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are you going to
stop seeing Dutch?
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Daddy, I love him.
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Eunice, the man is in jail.
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Well, so were you.
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He has a record.
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00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:08,694
So do you.
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He's a murderer.
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So are you.
50
00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:16,702
Well, that's different.
I was temporarily insane.
51
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Was?
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00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:21,707
Benson, what is this?
53
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Scrambled eggs.
54
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They're not scrambled.
55
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They're fried.
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You're right.
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I'd like them scrambled.
58
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,218
Well,
you can't scramble fried eggs.
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I know that.
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They got scrambled eggs.
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Well, that's because
I didn't fry them first.
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Begging the colonel's pardon.
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00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,230
Yes, major, what is it?
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00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:49,735
That baby upstairs,
I don't think it's a baby, sir.
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00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:52,237
I think it's a teeny little spy.
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Uh, right, probably German.
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Too teeny.
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Probably Japanese.
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I'll keep an eye on him, sir.
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Morning, Gramps.
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Oh, Corinne,
how's my little grandson doing?
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I don't know.
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This is going to sound crazy,
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00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:18,263
but sometimes, he looks at me
just like an adult would,
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00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:19,765
like he's thinking.
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00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,767
Well, he's very smart.
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Takes after me.
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Yeah, chubby and wrinkled.
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Benson.
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Good morning.
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Good morning, darling.
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Oh, Corinne, I thought
you were in the nursery.
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00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,781
I could have sworn
I heard you singing.
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It's him.
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Who, dear?
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The baby.
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I think he sings.
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00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,791
Well, he might hum,
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00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:48,794
but I think he's too young
to know the words.
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00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:50,296
I'm going to go check.
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Oh, Benson,
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may I please have
some scrambled eggs?
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Sure.
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Now, don't anyone get up.
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I'll get it.
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00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:13,819
Jessica, what is going on?
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What do you mean, Chester?
98
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,823
I don't know.
99
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,825
Eunice is in love
with a murderer.
100
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,326
Billy sings to his food.
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00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:23,328
Corinne's husband is in a cave.
102
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:26,832
I go away for a few weeks,
and all hell breaks loose,
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00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:28,333
and now I understand
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00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:29,835
that there's something
the matter with the baby.
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00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:30,837
What?
106
00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:39,845
Something strange is happening
with the baby.
107
00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:42,848
Who?
The baby, Jessica.
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00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,349
I don't understand.
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The baby, the baby.
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00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,860
Well...
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00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:57,863
Wh-why didn't you say so?
112
00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,867
Just excuse me one minute,
please.
113
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:03,869
Hey there,
114
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:04,870
how about some nice
scrambled eggs?
115
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,873
Poached eggs? Basted eggs?
Benson...
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00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:08,874
Hi.
117
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,375
Hi.
118
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:12,377
I just stopped by
to say, "Hi."
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Hi.
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00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:14,880
And to see
how you were. Fine.
121
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:17,382
Oh, that's good.
Well, okay.
122
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:18,884
Not fine. Okay.
123
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:19,885
Okay is good.
Mm-hmm.
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00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:21,386
It's not fine. It's okay.
125
00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:22,888
Yes.
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I love you.
127
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I love you too.
128
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:31,396
You know, there's only one thing
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I want in this world,
more than my happiness:
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Yours.
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00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:35,901
So if you're happy with him,
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00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,402
and that's what you want,
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don't worry about me.
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I'll disappear.
135
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:41,406
No, I...
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00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:42,407
Stuffed eggs?
No.
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00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,410
Pickled eggs?
Benson, Benson.
138
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:50,415
Well.
139
00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:51,416
Well, well, well.
140
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:53,418
Hello, Mr. Tate.
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00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,921
Mr. Donohue.
142
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:57,923
Well, I guess
you two want to talk,
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00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:58,924
so I'll just go.
144
00:05:58,925 --> 00:05:59,925
No, please.
I'll go.
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00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:00,926
I insist.
I insist.
146
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:02,427
No, I was
just leaving. I was leaving.
147
00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:04,930
Why don't both of you
leave together?
148
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:08,072
No, no, please. I'll go.
Goodbye, Jessica.
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00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,941
You really do care
for him, don't you?
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00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:19,945
Yes.
151
00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:25,450
I guess I just didn't want
to believe it.
152
00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:26,952
What's going to happen, Jess?
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00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:29,455
I don't know.
154
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,459
I can't believe it.
155
00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:36,962
You're in love with another man.
156
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,968
You see, Chester,
he makes me feel
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00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:45,470
the way you did 20 years ago.
158
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I feel loved and wanted
and needed.
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00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,978
You used to make me feel
that way,
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00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,480
but you don't anymore.
161
00:06:57,984 --> 00:07:01,487
You see, he's not another man.
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00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:05,491
You are.
163
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:11,496
I can be that way again, Jess.
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I know it.
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00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:14,000
Give me a chance.
166
00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,502
I'll be everything I used to be.
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00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:19,505
I promise.
168
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:31,016
A gay girl?
169
00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:32,517
He's living with a gay girl?
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She's really nice.
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00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,021
What is it with him?
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00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:37,522
I just got used to a gay guy.
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Now he's got a gay girl.
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I never met a gay girl.
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00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:43,528
Burt, just act normal.
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Me, normal?
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00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:48,533
Your gay son's coming home
with a gay girl,
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00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:49,534
and I should act normal?
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00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:50,535
Guys, girls.
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00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,537
Everybody's gay.
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00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:56,041
If he ever gets a pet,
I'm sure it will be a gay dog.
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00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,045
She's really nice.
You're going to like her.
183
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:01,046
You'll see.
184
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,548
I can't wait.
A gay girl.
185
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:06,551
I wear a red shirt,
you wear a red shirt.
186
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:09,054
I wear green trousers,
you wear green trousers.
187
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,555
I'm sick of it.
188
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,057
It's for the act, Bob.
189
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:13,558
Act, schmact.
190
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:16,061
You've got no imagination.
191
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,562
Bob...
Listen, and another thing.
192
00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:18,563
I'm sick and tired
193
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:21,566
of you following me around
all the time.
194
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,068
No kidding.
195
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:26,071
Every time I turn around,
there you are.
196
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:28,073
I need my space.
197
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:30,575
Chuck, Jodie's bringing
home a girl tonight...
198
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:31,576
A girl?
199
00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:34,580
What is he, trying to see
how the other half lives?
200
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,082
She's gay.
201
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:38,083
Oh, then I guess
202
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:40,085
I can't tell my joke
about Holland.
203
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:43,088
There'll be none of that
tonight.
204
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,091
They're here.
205
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,592
They're here.
Here they are.
206
00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:48,593
They're here.
207
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,595
Burt.
208
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:51,596
Relax.
209
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,098
What, relaxed?
I'm perfectly relaxed.
210
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:55,601
I'm fine. You can't see that?
I'm fine.
211
00:08:58,604 --> 00:08:59,604
Hi.
Hi, Ma.
212
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:00,605
Burt.
213
00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:02,107
Hey, fine. Pfft!
214
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,111
You must be Alice.
215
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,612
Pleased to meet you.
216
00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:08,613
Um, this is Burt.
217
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:09,614
Hi, Burt.
218
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:11,116
Hey, Al.
How you doing?
219
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:17,122
That's Chuck.
Hi, Chuck.
220
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,623
Hi, Alice.
221
00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:19,624
Ahem.
222
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,126
And of course
you remember Danny.
223
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:22,627
Of course.
Hi, Brother Danny.
224
00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,629
Hey, Alice.
225
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:25,630
Ahem.
226
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:26,631
Ahem.
227
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,635
So these must be the Campbells.
228
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:33,138
Ahe-ahe-ahem!
229
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,141
Alice, that's uh...
230
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:37,142
Bob.
231
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:38,643
How do you do, Alice?
232
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:39,725
I've heard a lot about you.
233
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:45,150
Um, why don't we all sit down?
234
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,652
That's a good idea.
235
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,176
So.
236
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:13,678
So, uh...
237
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:14,679
So.
238
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:18,183
So I hear you're a lesbo, huh?
239
00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:30,695
Chuck, one more word
and he's Lincoln logs.
240
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:31,697
Got it?
241
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,701
I, uh,
242
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:37,702
I think I'd better check dinner.
243
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:39,204
Uh, can
I help you? Sure.
244
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:40,705
Ah, sit down, Alice.
245
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:41,706
That's woman's work.
246
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:42,707
That's it.
247
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:43,708
Come on.
248
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:44,709
If he stays, he's sawdust.
249
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:46,211
Hey, listen,
uh, did you ever notice
250
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,214
how homosexuals
have no sense of humor?
251
00:10:54,119 --> 00:10:55,720
Hey, she's really, uh,
she's really cute.
252
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:56,721
Yeah.
253
00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:58,223
Yeah, I told you.
254
00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,724
What a waste.
255
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:02,727
She's not really gay...
a cute girl like that.
256
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:04,729
She's really gay...
a cute girl like that.
257
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:07,232
No, no, no. Jodie, I think
you could change all that.
258
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:08,233
Danny, I think all she needs
259
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:10,736
is a little, uh,
heh, heh, "you know."
260
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:13,738
Yeah. Yeah, right.
261
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:16,741
Just one good "you know"
and that's all.
262
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:18,243
Yeah.
263
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:20,245
No, Burt.
264
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:21,246
Yeah, Jodie, believe me.
265
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:24,249
One good "you know"
and that's it.
266
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,251
It didn't work with me.
267
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:28,753
Maybe you didn't get a good one.
268
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,756
I'll get it.
269
00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:34,759
Hello?
270
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,261
Yeah, okay, hold on
just a second.
271
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,763
Danny, it's for you.
272
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:40,765
Thanks.
All right.
273
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,767
Yeah?
274
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:45,270
What?
275
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,772
When?
276
00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:49,774
Now, where was that?
277
00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:52,277
Are you sure it was them?
278
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:53,278
Yeah, yeah, sure.
279
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:54,279
Smith & Wesson .38.
280
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:59,284
Ah, Mrs. Kreitzburg
lost her little puppy...
281
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,785
on Smith Street,
282
00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:01,787
Around 38th...
283
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:04,790
and Wesson.
284
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:08,293
Yeah.
285
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,794
Yeah, I got about six rounds.
286
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:13,298
Must be a vicious little puppy.
287
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:15,800
Thanks a lot, Cheech.
288
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,802
I owe you one.
289
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:19,304
Tell Ma I'll see her later.
290
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,306
All right, come on.
Danny! Come on, don't.
291
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:22,307
I gotta.
292
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:23,808
He's going after the kidnappers.
I know.
293
00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:25,810
I'm going with you.
Me too. No, you're not.
294
00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:26,811
We'll all go.
No way.
295
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,313
We probably shouldn't all go
and get killed.
296
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:30,315
Somebody should stay
and take care of your mother.
297
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,816
Fine. You stay.
No, I'm going. You stay.
298
00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:32,817
I'm going.
Okay, fine. We'll choose.
299
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,819
What do you take,
odds or evens? Come on, Burt.
300
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,321
Odds or evens?
Odds.
301
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:37,822
One, two, three, shoot.
302
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:40,825
Evens. You live.
Sorry.
303
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:41,826
Be careful, huh?
304
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:43,328
Yeah.
305
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,569
Give my apologies to your girl.
306
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:50,835
Where is everybody?
307
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:52,837
Uh...
308
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:54,839
Uh, Chuck and Bob left.
309
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,841
Well, I don't care
about Chuck and Bob.
310
00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:58,843
Where's Danny? Where's Burt?
311
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:01,346
Uh, Mrs. Kreitzburg called,
312
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:03,349
said she lost her puppy,
and they went to find him.
313
00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:06,851
Mrs. Kreitzburg
doesn't have a puppy.
314
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:09,354
Poor woman, she lives
down the block.
315
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,355
Just lost her husband.
316
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,357
Right, her husband.
317
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:13,858
She lost her husband.
318
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:14,859
Not her puppy.
319
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:17,363
Her husband died.
320
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,784
Oh, then in that case,
they should be right back.
321
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:49,594
Yoo-hoo!
322
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:52,096
Is he up?
323
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:53,097
He never went to sleep.
324
00:13:53,098 --> 00:13:55,600
Oh...
325
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:58,603
Hello, wittle boy.
326
00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:01,606
Come to Gwamma.
327
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:04,108
Oh, what a big boy.
328
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:06,110
Oh, look at that, Benson.
He knows me.
329
00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:07,111
Look at his smile.
330
00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:09,114
That's gas.
331
00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:13,117
I don't understand it.
332
00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:14,619
He never cries.
333
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,621
He never sleeps.
334
00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:20,124
He doesn't do anything
babies do.
335
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:22,627
Oh, yes, he does.
336
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:23,629
Oh.
337
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:26,631
CHESTER:
Benson?
338
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:27,632
BENSON: Huh?
339
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:29,634
I thought you fixed the lights.
340
00:14:29,635 --> 00:14:31,135
Well, there's nothing to fix.
341
00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:32,637
What do you mean,
there's nothing to fix?
342
00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:33,638
I had the electrician here,
343
00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:35,139
and he said everything was fine.
344
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:36,641
Everything's fine?
345
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:39,645
Well, obviously it is not fine,
Benson, so get him back.
346
00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:45,650
Benson, what do you think
you're doing?
347
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:47,652
What are you talking about?
348
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,153
You hit me.
349
00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:51,155
Are you crazy?
350
00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:54,158
Jessica, Benson hit me.
351
00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:56,160
Well, if he did, darling,
352
00:14:56,161 --> 00:14:58,663
I'm sure he had a good reason.
353
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:00,665
I didn't hit you.
You did.
354
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:02,166
I didn't.
You did.
355
00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:03,647
Didn't, didn't, didn't.
Did, did, did.
356
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:05,670
Boys, boys.
357
00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:06,671
I didn't hit you.
358
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:08,674
I've always wanted to,
but I didn't.
359
00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:16,180
Gee, the baby sounds
a little wheezy.
360
00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:17,682
I'll turn on the vaporizer.
361
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:23,187
Aah!
362
00:15:23,188 --> 00:15:24,689
Aah!
363
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:27,191
Isn't he a beautiful
baby, Chester?
364
00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:30,194
Yes, he is, Jessica.
He's beautiful.
365
00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:31,696
CORINNE: I think
he looks like Tim.
366
00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:33,197
No, I think he looks like you.
367
00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:34,198
Oh.
368
00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:35,700
Oh, I think he looks like me.
369
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:37,702
Hello, hello.
370
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,203
How's my boy today, huh?
371
00:15:39,204 --> 00:15:40,205
Oh!
372
00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:47,212
Oh, Chester.
373
00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:50,215
Here, Daddy.
374
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,222
Perhaps he, uh, hasn't
accepted me yet.
375
00:15:58,223 --> 00:15:59,724
I'll just go clean up.
376
00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:00,725
Help! Help!
377
00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:02,728
Benson, what are you doing?
378
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:07,732
That damn thing
tried to kill me.
379
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:10,234
Come on, Benson.
380
00:16:10,235 --> 00:16:11,235
No, I swear.
381
00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:12,737
It tried to choke me.
382
00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:14,238
Jessica,
383
00:16:14,239 --> 00:16:16,741
I think Benson needs a vacation.
384
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,744
You're a jerk.
385
00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:23,247
Now, Benson, whatever
you may think of Mr. Tate,
386
00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:26,251
if you want a vacation,
keep it to yourself.
387
00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:32,757
Did you say that?
388
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:34,258
No.
389
00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:35,259
Didn't you?
390
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:36,761
No.
391
00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:39,764
Then who said that?
392
00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:42,767
Oh, my God.
393
00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:43,768
Don't say that.
394
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:45,270
I hate that.
395
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:18,302
What did you see
on the other side?
396
00:17:18,303 --> 00:17:19,804
The other side of this side.
397
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:21,305
Danny, come on.
This is ridiculous.
398
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:22,306
We've been here for hours
399
00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:23,808
and nothing's moving
around that farmhouse,
400
00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:25,310
except maybe a couple of ducks.
401
00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:29,313
Are you sure this is where
they're supposed to be?
402
00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:30,815
Pretty sure.
403
00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:32,316
We've just got
to give it some time.
404
00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:33,317
Some time?
405
00:17:33,318 --> 00:17:35,319
The corn's grown a foot
since we've been here.
406
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,821
Look, Burt, I'll tell you what.
407
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:38,462
I'll go down there
and take a look around.
408
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:41,325
Danny, wait a minute here.
409
00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:42,827
They're killers.
They'll shoot you.
410
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:44,328
Don't worry.
They won't shoot me.
411
00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:46,330
Oh, fine, what, you're
going to shoot them?
412
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:47,331
If they shoot me,
I'll shoot them.
413
00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:49,834
If they shoot you first,
you won't get a chance to shoot.
414
00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:51,836
I'll shoot them
before they shoot me.
415
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:53,337
And if they weren't
going to shoot you,
416
00:17:53,338 --> 00:17:54,839
you will have shot them.
417
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,341
Burt, don't worry.
418
00:17:57,342 --> 00:17:58,843
I'll be careful.
419
00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:00,845
What time have you got?
420
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:01,846
9:15.
421
00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:03,348
All right, synchronize
your watch.
422
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:09,353
If I'm not back
by 9:30, go for help.
423
00:18:09,354 --> 00:18:10,855
All right, 9:30.
424
00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:15,861
Danny, bring back some corn.
425
00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:34,879
Ti...
426
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,381
Okay, Yogi, I've got you.
427
00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:38,382
Tim!
What?
428
00:18:38,383 --> 00:18:39,884
It's me.
429
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:41,385
Corinne!
430
00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:42,887
God, I thought you were a bear.
431
00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:44,889
A bear?
432
00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:46,390
There's this family
of bears, see?
433
00:18:46,391 --> 00:18:47,892
They'll do anything
for this cave.
434
00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:49,393
I think it might
have been theirs.
435
00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:50,394
Maybe they were on vacation
436
00:18:50,395 --> 00:18:51,395
in Yellowstone when I moved in.
437
00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:52,897
They're trying to get it back.
438
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:53,898
Are you all right?
439
00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:56,901
Here, pull up a rock.
Sit down.
440
00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:57,902
It's so good to see you.
441
00:18:57,903 --> 00:19:00,404
I'm going crazy up here
with no one to talk to.
442
00:19:00,405 --> 00:19:01,405
And there's nothing to do.
443
00:19:01,406 --> 00:19:02,406
I've read all my books
444
00:19:02,407 --> 00:19:03,407
and the television...
it doesn't work.
445
00:19:03,408 --> 00:19:05,409
I need cable up here.
446
00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:06,911
Boy, you look pretty.
447
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:07,912
Look at you.
448
00:19:07,913 --> 00:19:10,414
I forgot how pretty you are.
449
00:19:10,415 --> 00:19:11,415
Oh, Corinne!
450
00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:12,416
The bears?
451
00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:14,418
No, you...
your stomach.
452
00:19:14,419 --> 00:19:15,420
It's gone.
453
00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:19,423
Oh. I had the baby, Tim.
454
00:19:19,424 --> 00:19:21,425
You had the baby?
455
00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:23,427
A... A girl? A boy? What?
456
00:19:23,428 --> 00:19:25,930
A boy.
A boy?
457
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,431
Boy.
458
00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:28,933
Oh, boy.
459
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,435
A boy, huh?
460
00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:35,941
I'm sure the parents
must be proud.
461
00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:38,943
There are a few problems, Tim.
462
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:40,444
Mm-hmm, I'm sure
there are few problems.
463
00:19:40,445 --> 00:19:41,946
I mean, there are
lots of problems with babies.
464
00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:44,448
Why do you think
Dr. Spock wrote the book?
465
00:19:44,449 --> 00:19:47,952
Tim, he's possessed.
466
00:19:49,454 --> 00:19:51,956
Oh, come on, Corinne.
467
00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:53,457
No, he really is.
468
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:54,459
He talks.
469
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:57,962
Talks?
470
00:19:57,963 --> 00:20:00,965
Sentences.
471
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,466
You've got to come home.
472
00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:03,467
Come on, Corinne.
473
00:20:03,468 --> 00:20:04,969
You come up here and tell me
474
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:06,971
that a baby who isn't even mine
is possessed
475
00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:07,972
and I've got to come home?
476
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:09,473
No.
477
00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:11,475
I've come up here
to make my peace with God,
478
00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:12,476
and I can't...
479
00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:13,477
Make your peace with God?
480
00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:15,980
Well, let me tell you something.
481
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:18,482
You haven't got a chance in hell
of making your peace with God
482
00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:19,984
if you don't...
483
00:20:19,985 --> 00:20:22,486
make your peace with the people
who count on you.
484
00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:24,989
You've got a son down there,
Timothy Flotsky.
485
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,490
He's yours,
and he's nobody else's,
486
00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:28,492
and he's in trouble.
487
00:20:28,493 --> 00:20:33,998
So quit hiding in your cave,
and get off your... mountain,
488
00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:36,000
and... and come down
and help your son.
489
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,501
And maybe then
you'll have your chance
490
00:20:37,502 --> 00:20:39,504
of making your peace with God.
491
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:50,015
Let's go.
492
00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:55,020
Just help me lock up the cave.
493
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:02,026
9:30.
494
00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:03,027
Come on, Danny.
495
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:05,529
What's going on down there?
496
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:07,531
Nothing.
497
00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:10,034
Even the ducks are gone.
That's it.
498
00:21:11,536 --> 00:21:13,037
What's that?
499
00:21:33,558 --> 00:21:34,558
Burt.
500
00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:39,563
Guess what? Wrong house.
501
00:21:39,564 --> 00:21:41,065
I almost got shot
anyway, though,
502
00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:43,067
because I kicked in the door
to surprise them,
503
00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:44,068
and wound up surprising
504
00:21:44,069 --> 00:21:45,570
some guy and his girlfriends.
505
00:21:48,073 --> 00:21:50,575
Something, uh, something
the matter, Burt?
506
00:21:52,077 --> 00:21:53,077
Did you see it?
507
00:21:53,078 --> 00:21:56,080
I saw enough to get
that guy pretty upset.
508
00:21:56,081 --> 00:21:57,581
No, no, no, no.
509
00:21:57,582 --> 00:21:59,083
The spaceship.
510
00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:00,084
Did you see that spaceship?
511
00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:01,085
What?
512
00:22:01,086 --> 00:22:03,587
What, what?
The spaceship.
513
00:22:03,588 --> 00:22:05,589
It was right over there.
514
00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:07,091
A spaceship.
515
00:22:11,096 --> 00:22:13,097
Huh? Didn't you see it?
516
00:22:13,098 --> 00:22:15,099
No, Burt.
517
00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:16,600
I never saw...
518
00:22:16,601 --> 00:22:18,602
Dan, I never saw
anything like it.
519
00:22:18,603 --> 00:22:19,603
I mean, the lights,
the noise, it...
520
00:22:19,604 --> 00:22:21,606
It started the truck.
521
00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:24,608
You were dreaming, Burt.
522
00:22:24,609 --> 00:22:26,610
Danny, please, what are you
talking about, dreaming?
523
00:22:26,611 --> 00:22:27,611
I was standing right here.
524
00:22:27,612 --> 00:22:30,114
All right, you fell asleep,
and you dreamed it.
525
00:22:30,115 --> 00:22:32,116
Danny, I was awake.
526
00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:33,117
I was not dreaming.
527
00:22:33,118 --> 00:22:34,118
I saw it.
528
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:35,620
It was... here, Danny.
529
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:38,622
Hey, but, Danny, believe me,
530
00:22:38,623 --> 00:22:41,125
I wouldn't kid you
about something like this.
531
00:22:41,126 --> 00:22:43,128
I saw a spaceship.
532
00:22:44,629 --> 00:22:47,631
It was right over there
and it went... pbbt!
533
00:22:47,632 --> 00:22:49,634
Pfft!
534
00:22:53,517 --> 00:22:54,638
Come on, Burt.
Let's go home.
535
00:22:54,639 --> 00:22:56,140
What home?
We can't go home. No.
536
00:22:56,141 --> 00:22:57,641
They might come back.
537
00:22:57,642 --> 00:22:59,643
No, we've got to go home
and get some help.
538
00:22:59,644 --> 00:23:01,145
You're right.
Out of here.
539
00:23:03,148 --> 00:23:04,648
I'll call that doctor
that helped you
540
00:23:04,649 --> 00:23:06,150
when you thought
you were invisible.
541
00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:07,652
Maybe he's good
with spaceships too.
542
00:23:08,653 --> 00:23:09,653
We don't need a doctor.
543
00:23:09,654 --> 00:23:11,656
We need the Air Force.
544
00:23:13,658 --> 00:23:15,159
Let's go.
545
00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:27,171
Will Danny ever findElaine's kidnappers?
546
00:23:27,172 --> 00:23:30,174
Will Alice ever have dinnerat the Campbells' again?
547
00:23:30,175 --> 00:23:31,675
When Tim gets home, will he find
548
00:23:31,676 --> 00:23:33,177
that the babyis really possessed,
549
00:23:33,178 --> 00:23:34,678
or will he find
550
00:23:34,679 --> 00:23:36,680
that it just possessesa morbid sense of humor?
551
00:23:36,681 --> 00:23:39,183
Will Chester ever have whathe used to have with Jessica,
552
00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:42,186
or will Donohue havewhat Chester used to have?
553
00:23:42,187 --> 00:23:43,687
Or does he already have it?
554
00:23:43,688 --> 00:23:46,690
Will anyone ever believethat Burt saw a flying saucer?
555
00:23:46,691 --> 00:23:48,192
Would you?
556
00:23:48,193 --> 00:23:50,194
These questions and many otherswill be answered
557
00:23:50,195 --> 00:23:52,697
on the nextepisode of... Soap.
558
00:23:57,702 --> 00:24:00,204
Soap is videotapedbefore a studio audience.
36648
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