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In the last episode of Soap,
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00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:06,572
Burt told Sallyhe could see her no more.
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00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:08,574
He's sorry,but it's the only way.
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00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:10,576
Sally took it well indeed.
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00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:12,578
She threatenedto get him some day.
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00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:15,080
Donohue told Jessicathat Chester died...
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00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:16,582
on an exploded train,
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00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:18,083
but Chester's not dead.
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00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:21,086
He's very alive,although with a muddled brain.
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00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:23,589
Jodie's still stunnedthat Carol left him.
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He's been in a lot of pain.
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00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:27,092
And Danny's vowed to get the men
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00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:28,594
who killed his precious Elaine.
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Confused?
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00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:32,098
You won't be aftertonight's episode of... Soap
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This is the storyof two sisters,
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00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:43,108
Jessica Tate
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00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:45,110
and Mary Campbell.
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00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:48,614
These are the Tates,
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00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:52,618
and these are the Campbells.
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00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:54,621
And this is Soap.
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00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,652
If you don't mind.
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Hi.
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00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:30,656
Hello there.
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00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:31,657
What is this?
26
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:32,658
A party.
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Party? For what?
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Mr. Tate's death.
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It's kind of strange, isn't it?
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Well, I didn't say
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you had to have a good time.
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Detective Donohue,
how good of you to come.
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I came by to say one thing.
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I'd like very much to see you,
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so when you feel
the time is proper,
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00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:53,178
will you let me know?
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The time is proper now,
detective.
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It is?
Mm-hmm.
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00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:59,184
Yes, because
you make me feel good,
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and whenever
you make a person feel good,
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00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:03,188
the time is always proper.
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Okay.
Good.
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Uh, excuse me, everyone.
44
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Uh, this is Detective Donohue...
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00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,697
you know, who
looked for Chester.
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How do you do?
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May I have your attention,
please?
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I want to thank you,
first of all,
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for coming here today.
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As you know,
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Chester never cared
for funerals...
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Especially his own.
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And in his will,
as a tribute to his memory,
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he asked that all of his family
and all of his friends
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get together
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and just tell
all those wild, funny stories
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about him.
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And I did invite, uh,
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00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:40,225
oh, about 40
of his closest friends.
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They all had headaches,
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so come on, everybody,
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00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,232
let's just toss out
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00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:48,734
all of those funny stories
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00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,235
about Chester.
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Who would like to go first?
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00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:01,747
Oh, well, I've got one.
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00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,749
Uh... Uh...
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00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,251
One morning,
Chester came down to breakfast
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00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:09,254
with shaving cream
still behind his ear.
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00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:15,761
I said to him...
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00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:19,265
"Chester, you forgot to..."
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00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:27,272
"You forgot
to wipe off the cream."
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He forgot to wipe off...
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00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:39,284
So...
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00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:40,786
Chester went
all the way back upstairs,
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00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:43,289
and I...
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00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,292
I poured him
some o-orange juice.
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Orange juice!
A-ha-ha-haa!
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And then he said...
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00:03:57,303 --> 00:04:01,807
And then he said,
"Is it all off now?"
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00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:05,310
And I said...
82
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:08,313
I said, "Yes.
83
00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:10,816
How do you want your eggs?"
84
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Eggs.
85
00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:19,324
Oh, yeah. I get it!
86
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:28,333
Oh, golly.
87
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:29,835
Oh, this is fun.
88
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,341
Who would like to be next?
89
00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,846
Billy, why don't you tell
the hammer story?
90
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,848
No, Ma, I don't think so.
91
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,349
Oh, come on, honey.
92
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:45,350
Good idea.
Do it.
93
00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:46,351
That would be terrific.
94
00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,353
Do it, do it.
Please. Come on.
95
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:49,855
It's cute. It's cute.
96
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,356
All right.
97
00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:53,859
Well, when I was five,
I asked Dad to buy me a hammer.
98
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,360
He asked me
what I wanted it for,
99
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:57,362
and I told him
I wanted to build a puppy.
100
00:04:57,363 --> 00:04:58,864
All the other kids had puppies,
101
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:02,367
and I wanted one so badly
that I decided to build one.
102
00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:03,368
Did he buy you the puppy?
103
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,371
No, he bought me the hammer.
104
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:08,874
Your father
105
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,877
was an incredible human being.
106
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:17,382
Corinne?
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00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:19,885
Uh...
108
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:21,887
Okay.
109
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:23,889
Um...
110
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,892
when I was little,
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00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,393
Daddy took me fishing,
112
00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:31,396
and I remember that day
he caught a lot of fish,
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00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:32,898
and I didn't catch anything,
114
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,901
and I remember
feeling a little sad
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00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,403
and very puzzled
when Daddy announced
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00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:39,905
that he was going swimming,
117
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,406
and he jumped overboard
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00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:44,409
with one of the fish
in his belt.
119
00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:45,410
Well,
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00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:46,912
a few minutes later,
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00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:50,415
Daddy came up
without the fish, and...
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00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:53,418
and I felt a little tug
on my line,
123
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,420
and I reeled it in,
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00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:58,924
and there was the fish.
125
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,927
What a wonderful story.
126
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:02,928
What a guy.
127
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,931
What a crock.
128
00:06:06,893 --> 00:06:07,933
He never took you fishing.
129
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,434
Shh.
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00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:10,936
She's real good
at making up stories,
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00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:11,937
isn't she?
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00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,939
Tim, it's your baby.
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00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,941
Benson, you believe me,
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00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:17,443
don't you?
135
00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:22,948
Uh, Jodie? Jodie?
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00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:23,950
There he is.
137
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:27,452
Come on, Jodie,
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00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:28,453
don't you have a story
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00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:29,454
you want to share with us?
140
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:33,959
I just love the way
Jodie tells a story.
141
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:34,960
Well, all right.
142
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:35,961
Well, uh...
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00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,462
once, I remember,
144
00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:40,966
I asked Uncle Chester why
he always wore black shoes...
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00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:43,468
and, uh...
146
00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:44,970
he said, "I don't know.
147
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,973
I just find then comfortable."
148
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,983
A story like that
comes around once, maybe twice.
149
00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:58,985
Not often.
150
00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:01,486
Burt?
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00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:02,487
There he is.
152
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:03,989
Oh, yeah.
153
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,490
No, I...
154
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:06,992
I remember Chester.
155
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:11,997
I was, um...
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00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:12,998
I remember there was...
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00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:13,999
Oh.
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00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:19,505
I remember one time he came,
and...
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00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:24,509
That wasn't him.
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00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:26,011
I remember,
and then I don't sometimes,
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00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:28,514
but it's like...
Next?
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00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,018
Aunt Jessie, I've got one.
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00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,020
Oh. Good.
164
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:36,021
This is really funny.
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00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:38,023
I remember once, uh...
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00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:40,025
Burt had some dough
he wanted to invest,
167
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:44,029
and Chester suggested
rotary engine fan belts.
168
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,030
Uh, Danny, that's not funny.
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00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:46,031
Come on.
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00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:47,532
Aw, come on, it's really good.
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00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:48,533
So anyway,
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00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:51,036
Burt gives him the dough,
and Chester invests it,
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00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:54,039
and the next day,
the company went broke.
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00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,041
Burt was cleaned out.
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00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:58,543
Very funny.
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00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:01,547
What are you doing?
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00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,550
Daddy.
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00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:07,052
Aye.
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00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:09,554
This was a brave man.
180
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:11,556
This was a courageous man.
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00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:16,061
This was a man who always
did more than his duty.
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00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:19,064
He was right there
to the very end.
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00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,566
Never was there another man
like him.
184
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:24,569
Never will there be
another man like him.
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00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,071
He was one of a kind.
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00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:28,073
We shall never forget him.
187
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:30,575
He was a leader of men.
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00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:34,079
We have lost the best.
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00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:40,586
His family, his friend...
190
00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:49,594
And the United States of America
will never forget
191
00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:54,099
General Mike
"Smilin' Bob" Hawkins.
192
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:57,102
Daddy... Daddy.
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00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:58,603
General Hawkins didn't die.
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00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:00,105
Chester died.
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00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:02,608
Oh. Good.
196
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:07,613
Never mind. As you were.
197
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:11,617
Mary?
198
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,121
Well, I would just like to say
199
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,622
that I think
200
00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:22,127
that all our lives are richer
for having known him.
201
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,129
Benson, do you have
any fond memories
202
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,130
of Mr. Tate
203
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,632
you'd like to share with us?
204
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:31,636
No.
205
00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:37,642
Uh, and, uh...
I believe that, uh...
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00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:39,644
he will be remembered fondly
207
00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:41,646
by those of us who loved him.
208
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:44,650
And the rest of us too.
209
00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,164
Mrs. Campbell?
210
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:00,165
Yes?
211
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,166
Hi. I'm Sally.
212
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,167
Sally?
213
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:03,668
Your husband's secretary.
214
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:06,671
Oh, Sally.
215
00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:07,672
Come in.
216
00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:08,673
Thank you.
Thank you.
217
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:10,175
Well, I'm...
218
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,176
I'm pleased to meet you.
219
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:14,179
You've always been
just a voice on the telephone.
220
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:15,180
Uh, sit down.
221
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,181
Thanks.
222
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:20,185
Uh...
223
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:21,186
Mrs. Campbell,
I don't really...
224
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:22,687
Mary. Mary.
225
00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:24,689
Mary.
226
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,691
Mary, I don't know how to...
227
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:27,692
put this.
228
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:28,693
What?
229
00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:32,697
Well, your husband and I
230
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:33,779
have been having an affair.
231
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,701
So what happened was,
the other day,
232
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:37,702
he came by...
233
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:39,204
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
234
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:40,705
Could you just back up a little?
235
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:41,706
Sure.
236
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:44,209
Did you say you and Burt...
237
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:45,710
Right.
238
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:46,711
So what happened was,
the other day...
239
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,213
You and Burt?
240
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:51,216
Me and Burt.
241
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,717
Well, Burt and I.
242
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:53,718
It's Burt and I.
243
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:55,220
I always get those confused...
244
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:57,222
me and him, he and I, he and me.
245
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:58,224
I hated grammar.
246
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,727
You don't, uh...
247
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:04,229
you don't look like
what I imagined.
248
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,730
You imagined someone?
249
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,732
Well, Burt told me
that he spent the night
250
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:08,733
with someone once,
251
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:10,235
and that she was fat and old.
252
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:16,241
Were you once fat?
253
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:17,742
Or old?
254
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:20,745
It must have been someone else.
255
00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:22,747
Mrs. Campbell...
256
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:23,748
Mary...
I really just...
257
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:25,250
Mrs. Campbell.
258
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:31,256
Look, don't be mad at me.
259
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:33,758
I felt sorry for him.
260
00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:34,759
I have never had an affair
261
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:35,760
with a married man.
262
00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:38,263
I would not do that.
263
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:42,767
But he told me he was miserable.
264
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:45,770
He said you were a mean, hard...
265
00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:47,272
bitter lady.
266
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:54,279
And I believed him. And then...
267
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,282
Then I fell in love with him.
268
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,285
So please, don't be mad at me.
269
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:04,789
I can't believe it.
270
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:06,291
I can't believe it.
271
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:07,792
I don't believe...
272
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:09,294
you and him.
273
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:10,795
I think it's
"you and he."
274
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,297
See, it would be "him and me",
275
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:13,798
so I think
it's "you and he."
276
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:15,800
Don't get me wrong.
277
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:20,305
I'm not saying I don't believe
he'd have an affair with you.
278
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:21,806
What I'm saying is
279
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:25,310
that I find it hard to accept
he's having an affair.
280
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:26,811
But if he was having an affair,
281
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:29,314
I'm sure
that the affair he was having
282
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:30,315
would be with you.
283
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:35,320
You're very, uh...
pretty.
284
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:36,821
Oh. Thank you.
285
00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:38,323
Young.
286
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:40,826
Skinny.
287
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,329
I'm not skinny.
288
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,831
Please, you're skinny.
289
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:49,834
I'm five pounds overweight.
290
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:51,336
Oh, please. You are not.
291
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:54,339
I am. I mean, I starve myself.
I still can't lose.
292
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,342
I know. It's so depressing.
293
00:12:58,344 --> 00:12:59,844
You know the Atkins diet?
294
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,847
Do I know it?
I've been on it 12 times.
295
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:04,349
I gained.
296
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,350
Metabolism.
297
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:06,851
Fasting? Gained.
298
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:07,852
You and Burt.
299
00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:09,354
You know,
300
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,855
you're taking this very well.
301
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:12,357
No, I'm not.
302
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:13,858
Yes, you are.
303
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:16,361
You're taking this beautifully.
304
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:20,365
No. I'm in shock.
That's what it is.
305
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:21,866
I'm not taking it with grace.
306
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,368
I'm taking it with shock.
307
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,373
There's more.
308
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,376
Oh, good.
Maybe this'll kill me.
309
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:36,381
The other day
I discovered that...
310
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:37,383
Are you ready?
311
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:42,887
Burt's been cheating on me.
312
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:45,890
When did he have the time?
313
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:48,393
I know.
It's incredible, isn't it?
314
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:49,394
Her, me, you.
315
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:50,395
It's a wonder he isn't dead.
316
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,397
He will be.
I'm gonna kill him.
317
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:55,900
No. I am.
318
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:57,402
Wait till you hear this.
319
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:58,403
She's 18.
320
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,405
18?
321
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:01,406
18.
322
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,409
Skinny?
323
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,912
She's 18. Who cares?
324
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:12,417
18.
325
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,919
What do they talk about at 18?
326
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,922
What she did in school today?
327
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:20,425
It's disgusting.
328
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:21,927
18.
329
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:25,930
I am so sorry
330
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:28,433
I had to tell you all this.
331
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,435
Oh. No. Thank you.
332
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,939
I'm glad you did.
333
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,941
Where are my manners?
334
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:37,942
Would you like a drink?
335
00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:39,444
Oh, please,
Mrs. Campbell.
336
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:40,446
Call me Mary.
337
00:14:58,464 --> 00:14:59,964
Hi. Uh, Mrs. David?
338
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:01,967
Yes?
339
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:04,969
I'm Jodie.
340
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:09,974
Oh, my.
Oh, my, my, my.
341
00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:10,975
You're in Texas.
342
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:13,979
I think so.
Everybody talks funny.
343
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:18,983
Well, come on in...
for a minute.
344
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:19,985
Thank you.
345
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:24,489
You're a homo?
346
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,000
Well, I, uh...
347
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:39,004
The reason I ask is
I never seen one before.
348
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:44,009
We don't have homos in Texas.
349
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:48,514
Live ones, anyway.
350
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:53,518
Well, sit down.
351
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:54,519
Would you like a drink?
352
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,021
Uh, yes, thank you.
A drink would be nice.
353
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:59,524
What do you people drink?
354
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:01,526
You mean New Yorkers?
We drink...
355
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:04,028
No, no, homos.
356
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:08,032
We drink
your basic heterosexual drinks.
357
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:11,536
How about some lemonade?
Do you drink lemonade?
358
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:14,038
Lemonade would be terrific.
We like lemonade.
359
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:17,041
I mean,
we drink a lot of lemonade.
360
00:16:17,042 --> 00:16:20,545
Uh, Mrs. David,
is Carol around?
361
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,547
Upstairs.
362
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,549
But I don't think
she wants to see you.
363
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:28,052
Mrs. David, I've flown
clear across the country.
364
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,554
This is a very big state.
365
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:32,057
It took me a day and a half
to drive here from the airport.
366
00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:34,059
Yeah.
367
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:37,562
Uh, uh...
368
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,063
I've gone through a lot
to get here,
369
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:41,065
and I intend to see Carol.
370
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:43,568
Okay.
371
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:44,569
Carol!
372
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:46,571
Carol, honey,
you've got a visitor!
373
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:49,575
Oh... this'll put a run
in her pantyhose.
374
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:55,580
Jodie.
375
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,081
Hi.
376
00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:59,083
I didn't... I...
377
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:01,085
I thought it would be nice
to surprise you.
378
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:03,588
Oh, yes. Nice.
379
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:06,090
He sure surprised me.
380
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:09,594
He looks perfectly normal.
381
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:10,595
Mother.
382
00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:13,097
I guess I expected him
to wear organdy.
383
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:14,098
Mother...
384
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:16,100
Hmm?
Do you mind?
385
00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:18,102
Oh.
386
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,104
It was nice meeting you, Jodie.
387
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:21,606
Nice meeting you,
Mrs. David.
388
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,608
You're my first homo.
389
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,610
You're my first Texan.
390
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,612
Ah!
391
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:28,613
Yeah.
392
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,119
This is a... surprise.
393
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:38,624
Jodie, I'm so sorry.
394
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:43,127
I felt awful.
395
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:45,130
You have no idea
how awful I felt.
396
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:50,635
Uh, what it was... was, uh...
397
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,638
Carol, I know what it was.
398
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:56,140
I mean, suddenly it didn't seem
like such a terrific idea
399
00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:57,642
to have a husband
who is a homosexual.
400
00:17:57,643 --> 00:18:00,645
It was just that
I thought that you...
401
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,648
What about the baby?
402
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,150
What about the baby?
403
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:07,151
Well, I'd, uh...
404
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:10,154
I'd like to see
my child grow up.
405
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:14,158
Jodie, I don't want you
to be the baby's father.
406
00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:16,160
Carol, I don't think
you have that choice anymore.
407
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:19,163
I don't want you
to see the baby.
408
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,164
What?
409
00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:23,668
Someday I hope to marry,
410
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:26,170
and whoever I marry
will be the baby's father.
411
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,673
Carol, that's my baby.
You can't do this.
412
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:33,678
Carol, please.
413
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:34,679
What am I gonna do?
414
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:39,183
I don't stand a chance in court.
415
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:44,188
I have feelings, Carol.
It's my baby, and I care.
416
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:47,191
I don't think
I've ever cared about anything
417
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:48,192
quite as much.
418
00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:53,197
Jodie, I know I'm right.
419
00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:54,198
Now, I know it's hard for you,
420
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:57,201
but I know I'm doing
the right thing.
421
00:18:57,202 --> 00:19:01,205
You mean my child
will never know I'm his father?
422
00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:03,708
It's better this way.
423
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:05,710
Carol, it's a mistake.
424
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:09,213
It's a gigantic mistake
because it's a lie,
425
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:11,015
and a lie will always
catch up with you later.
426
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:17,221
And when it does, Carol...
427
00:19:17,222 --> 00:19:21,225
When my child wants his father,
428
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:22,227
I'll be there.
429
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:44,749
♪ Bringing in The sheaves ♪
430
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,251
♪ Bringing in The sheaves ♪
431
00:19:47,252 --> 00:19:50,254
♪ We will Come rejoicing ♪
432
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:53,758
♪ Bringing in The sheaves ♪
433
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:54,759
Hey, buddy.
434
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,763
What the hell is a sheaf anyway?
435
00:19:58,764 --> 00:19:59,764
Hey, buddy, I'm talking to you.
436
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,766
What?
437
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,768
What is a sheaf?
438
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,770
It's a quantity
of cereal grasses
439
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:06,771
bound together.
440
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:08,272
Ah.
441
00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:11,275
Tell me, why do we want
to bring them in? Well, uh...
442
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,277
Uh, it's because of the harvest.
443
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:15,780
Uh, we plant in the spring,
444
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:16,781
and we harvest...
445
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,783
Uh, could you try
not touching me
446
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,284
quite so much?
447
00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:21,786
What's the matter?
You don't like to be touched?
448
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:22,787
Well, it's a...
449
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:24,789
Hey, fellas!
450
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,290
Fancy Pants here
don't like to be touched.
451
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:27,792
Oh, well, no, it's...
452
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:28,793
MEN: Whoo! MEN: Whoo!
453
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:29,794
Oh. Ah!
454
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,295
It's just that, ah...
455
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,297
Well, you see, I, uh,
don't really belong here.
456
00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:34,799
I'm not really a bum.
457
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,300
You calling us bums?
458
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:37,802
Oh, no. Please.
459
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:38,803
Please don't be offended.
460
00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:40,304
I like bums.
461
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:41,806
Some of my best friends are...
462
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,308
filthy and disgusting.
463
00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:46,310
All right...
464
00:20:46,311 --> 00:20:48,312
Ah, split pea!
465
00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:49,814
I love split pea.
466
00:20:57,322 --> 00:20:58,322
Pass the bread plate.
467
00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:00,324
Are we grabbing?
Is that it?
468
00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:01,325
Give me the bread.
469
00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:02,827
Wait.
470
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:04,829
How do I know I like split pea?
471
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:05,830
Hey.
472
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:06,831
I remember.
That's how I know.
473
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:07,832
I remember.
474
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:08,833
Pass the plate.
475
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:09,834
Come on, pass the plate.
476
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:11,836
Please.
477
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:13,337
You are beginning to pester me.
478
00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:16,341
Pester...
479
00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:22,346
Nester...
480
00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:23,848
Mester...
481
00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:25,850
Lester! That's it!
482
00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:26,851
Pass the plate.
483
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:30,354
Oh! Pl... Pa...
484
00:21:30,355 --> 00:21:32,857
I'm Lester Pate!
485
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:34,358
Pleased to meet you.
486
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:35,860
Now, do you pass me the bread,
487
00:21:35,861 --> 00:21:37,361
or do I tear off your head?
488
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:39,864
Oh, sir, you've
helped me to remember.
489
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:40,865
How could I ever repay you?
490
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:41,866
Bread.
491
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:43,367
Take the bread.
492
00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:44,869
Take my soup.
493
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:45,870
I remember. Oh...
494
00:21:45,871 --> 00:21:48,372
and I owe it all to you.
495
00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:50,374
You helped me gain
my true self again.
496
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:51,876
Goodbye.
497
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:54,879
Where you going?
498
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,881
Home, to my family.
499
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:58,382
Oh, yeah? Where do they live?
500
00:21:58,383 --> 00:22:00,384
I don't know.
501
00:22:00,385 --> 00:22:02,386
But they're out there somewhere.
502
00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:03,888
Somewhere,
503
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:05,890
there's a family of Pates
waiting for their Lester,
504
00:22:05,891 --> 00:22:07,391
and I'll find them.
505
00:22:07,392 --> 00:22:10,394
If I have to look in every city,
in every town, I'll find them,
506
00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:12,897
because when Lester Pate gets it
into his head to do something,
507
00:22:12,898 --> 00:22:14,398
he does it,
508
00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:17,902
because that's the kind of stuff
we Pates are made of.
509
00:22:17,903 --> 00:22:18,904
I think.
510
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:39,924
Will Chesterget his memory back?
511
00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:42,426
And what will Jessica doif he comes back?
512
00:22:42,427 --> 00:22:44,929
Now that Mary believesSally's story,
513
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:46,430
will Burt ever get her back?
514
00:22:46,431 --> 00:22:48,933
Can Jodie put his lifeback together
515
00:22:48,934 --> 00:22:50,935
now thathe can't get Carol back?
516
00:22:50,936 --> 00:22:52,937
These questions and many otherswill be answered
517
00:22:52,938 --> 00:22:53,939
on the next episode of...
518
00:23:00,445 --> 00:23:03,447
Soap is videotapedbefore a studio audience.
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