All language subtitles for AB (2004)

Bzzz

Iceland is out there on its own. A volcanic
island in the middle of the Atlantic, it sits

just below the Arctic Circle. Steam rising from
its hot springs and geysers. Less than 300,000

people live here. It feels extraterrestrial.

Hit it in wintertime with only four hours of
sunlight a day, and you feel like you're walking

on a frozen planet. Wake up young lovers wherever
you are. What may seem like a dark, dank, suicidal

time of year for most people is in fact, for
Icelanders, anything but. Now, in the first

28 years of my working life as a chef in New
York working in largely windowless spaces in

the back of restaurants, my way of dealing with
those kind of feelings was to get together

with some chef friends after work and get hammered.
Woohoo! And though these days I'm living a

marginally healthier lifestyle, I don't think
sitting in front of the sun lamp or chugging

down fish liver smoothies will do it for me.
So I head to Iceland to see what their secret

is. I'm told they managed to turn the extended
hard days night into a rollicking good time.

eating, drinking. Pump an iron?

Exercise is one of the ways Icelanders preserve
their health and sanity during the winter.

No wonder the world's strongest man for many
years was from this country.

Athletic facilities in general fill me with
terror and dread. And I'm really trying to

figure out why I'm here in this frozen wasteland.
I'm guessing because it's the producer of the

show loves seeing over-muscled guys in tiny
little bathing suits. It's really the only

reason I could think of. World's strongest man
meet world's weakest man. This is 180 kilos.

You'd expect the locals to be walking around
pale thin and bleary-eyed. Yet oddly Icelanders

are among the healthiest people on earth. With
a long life expectancy that ranks second only

to the Japanese. Apparently this country's Viking
roots remain close to the surface, and a little

darkness doesn't turn them soft. I will take
200 kilos for you. I ain't lifting squat, okay?

Just the thought of these people pumping away
makes me queasy. Scare master, anyone? Look,

I can't even make it to the gym when it's sunny
and the cab drops me off at the front door.

I need a little more than the promise of sweaty,
ripped abs and better health if I'm gonna drag

my candy ass out of bed on a cold, dark morning.
And there is something more. These healthy

lads are some of Iceland's elite strongmen,
and they have just the thing for me.

Downstairs in the kitchen, Greta, the gym's
resident mom and chef, is making up some kjottsuppa

for the muscle dudes. A traditional lamb soup
made of fatty lamb, rutabaga, onion, carrot,

celery, cabbage, leek, and a fistful of rice
to thicken. It's the kind of hearty, peasant-y

food I really like. This heaping bowl of protein
is the feed of choice for the strong guys when

training. In Iceland back in the old days it
was very difficult. So the people who were

less strong, the weak people, they didn't survive.
So one of the strong people survived. I'm thinking

he could be talking about me and he's got a
point. I don't know if I would survive here.

Don't hit me like that. I'm going behind him.
You have to eat four dishes. Four? One for

each, you know. Yeah, it's going to take a lot
of soup. I'm planning on running for governor

of California. Yes, yes. Oh yeah. Just one bowl,
I'm going right from Don Mott's to Boca Toot.

You might go up to be a Viking, you know. One
day eat six bowls of this every day. Yeah,

that's too late for me.

I like your attitude. A real Icelandic hunt,
made of the soup. No, this is a real Icelandic

hunt made of the soup. Oh yeah, nice to meet
you. I'm the real American TV host made of

alcohol and cigarettes. You guys, you eat this
before you exercise. All the time, before and

after. Before and after. Well, because of me,
I'd eat like two bowls of this, then I'd need

a nice long nap, you know? I wouldn't feel like
lifting heavy objects. My wife is very happy

when I eat the soup. Because, yes, you have
to ask her about my sex life. You have to excuse

him. He's a male, Paris Hilton.

I'm only too... Mental note, do not sauna after
lunch. Yeah, just... A few minutes you have

to take arm wrestling with him. Then we'll see
how much good this soup is doing for us. Here

we go, taking this punk downtown. This is exactly
why I never set foot in these places. The smell

of sweat and testosterone. Magic. I see Richard
Simmons, I am out of here. Okay, here we go.

Ready. No, I can't believe it. Cheating. You
need more soup. Yeah. They say this soup makes

you bulky and strong. I've had three bowls and
I'm getting nowhere. Okay, here we go. Okay.

You want me to go over there, son? Get this
over with. Leave the rest in. Finger rest.

Yeah, can I use my whole arm? Just try to hold
your finger. Just try to hold it. On my hand.

Yeah, that's going. Still there, bud. Hey, nice
to meet you guys. Thanks. Oh, thanks for the

total emasculation, guys. Oh, yes. Nature is
a cruel mistress. Life on the tundra is hard

and difficult. Only the strong survive. Don't
let the harsh conditions fool you. Ice slenders

make the most out of the dark, wintry conditions.
People in this country don't hibernate. They

strap on their boots and head outdoors. It's
a big ugly hole in the ground. What better

way to make up for my total wussification yesterday
with the muscle dudes than a picnic on the

Icelandic tundra. My friend Siggy, chef at the
Nordica Hotel's very fine restaurant Vox, is

hooking me up with some picnic eats. No ham,
spread, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

on this picnic. Morning, what do you got for
us? Smoked puffin. Yeah, this is the only place

in the world you can hunt them. Oh, excellent.
Is it like a cute little bird? Yeah. That looks

good. Then we have organic lamb chops with barley.
Oh, nice. Oh, they're cute. Look at that. We

season them with fresh dill and dill oil. That's
a cute little lamb chop. Oh, I'm eating well.

This is all Icelandic ingredients and we could
go much further with this. Oh my god, this

is quite a spread. So I was thinking about starting
doing fresh blinis now so they're going to

be nice in the lunchtime. Beautiful. Sigi gets
to work on some blinis, little pancakes to

accompany the caviar and pickle dishes. So what
do chefs do after work here? A lot of the times

we go out and have fun. Is there a chef bar?
Yes. What are you doing Friday or Saturday

night? Probably going to the chef bar. Outstanding.
Are you coming with us? I am so there. OK,

that's good. It's going to be good to have you
by my side there. You kick some asses. You're

bigger than me. I'm famous for my lumberjack
physique. You can decide how much rum you want

in the? A lot. A lot, yeah.

Yeah, mom used to make hot chocolate just like
this. Then mom was an alcoholic. Just kidding.

Oh yeah, that's chakarific. No wintery picnic
would be complete without the traditional Icelandic

brew, brenevin, also known as black death, a
sort of schnapps made with potatoes and flavored

with caraway. It's gonna be really cold where
I'm going, right? So this could save my life.

This could save your life. Good. Anything called
black death has got to be good. Okay, picnic

on the frozen tundra, here I come.

At the great outdoors, rarely do I feel more
calm and comfortable and confident than when

I'm staring straight into Mother Nature's slavering
maw.

With my basket of indigenous goodies being delivered
by Jeep, I'm off to the picnic spot in a more

environmentally sound way. Saddle

up. When I'm traveling in between fine meals,
I always like to use the most modern and yet

fuel-efficient method of transportation.

YAH!

Please? Why do we have to stop each time?

30 minutes outside of Reykjavik and it feels
more like 30 million miles from anywhere.

Maximus.

The dog sled drops me off near the glacier picnic
spot, and I'm instructed to stay put and wait

for the food basket to arrive by Jeep. They
said don't wander, but... Nah, I'm wandering.

I mean, you're in a strange land. That's what
you're supposed to do is wander, right?

That's not good. The wind seems to be picking
up a little bit.

You see he didn't pack paper plates in the picnic
basket.

Hey, should snow be falling sideways?

Crap, this is a full-scale blizzard.

If my time in the Boy Scouts has taught me anything
about cold weather survival, it taught me this.

Hypothermia, bad. Shelter, good.

BOOM

and remember kids when making your own travel
show insist on warm climates also as the producers

you say january said that i think i said stick
by your guns one tropical locations all i ask

you know the color blue could appear in the
show what's going on so boat tricks no banana

sling speedos

Eh, never mind. It really is quite beautiful
and I did bring a little friend along. A picnic

pointer. Never pack your alcohol. Keep it on
your person at all times, just in case you

and your lunch basket get separated. I learned
that one from Martha. When freezing to death

in a cave in the middle of a blizzard in Iceland,
I always go for a little black death. But death's

coming your way anyway. It's not something you
need to feel guilty about.

I'll just sit here, drink this, and wait for
help to arrive. I'm sure someone will come

along eventually.

My thumb is black colored, is that a bad thing?
I can't feel my penis. I'm thinking of peeing

in my pants just to warm up.

Do you hear music? I hear music. Mommy?

Hey, that sounds like the comforting music from
the Icelandic tourism film I saw. There is

a country in Europe that offers some of the
purest air in the world, where the exquisite

lamb is free from hormones and roams wild. The
Icelandic horse, purebred for centuries, perhaps

best symbolizes the compelling appeal of this
small, unspoiled nation. beautiful church becomes

the setting for a musical experience.

Because of the moderating influence of the Gulf
Stream, weather is cool in summer and surprisingly

mild in winter. For outdoor enthusiasts, there
are magical moments that will remain forever

in memory. Iceland, the way life should be.

The weather's cleared up a little bit. We can
do the picnic scene, right? Oh yeah, it looks

good. Negative temperatures, 60 mile an hour
winds, and near zero visibility? This episode's

special effects, well, they're free.

They should have stayed put as instructed. Icelanders
are a caring lot. My picnic buddies will be

along soon.

There will be no spreading out the picnic blanket
in this blizzard. Even my guides, hardy descendants

of Vikings, feel today is the day to move the
picnic indoors. Time to seek refuge in a snow

hut. Had we been here Saturday night, this would
have been a thriving hub of activity, filled

with gyrating naked women, bawling throes of
sexual frenzy. Also, it would have been an

unbroken vista of clear blue, steam issuing
from volcanic fissures. It would have been

a great show. Instead of freezing my nuts off
sitting around with a bunch of guys getting

drunk and eating well. How do you say cheers
around here? Skull, skull, skull. Oh, I can

do that, skull. Okay, this is not what I planned
exactly, but it's good to come in out of the

cold, and I was able to recover my picnic basket.
My new pals seem happy, beats the cold sandwich

and shark-sicles these guys usually suffer through.
So this puffin thing, let's check that out.

This is a cute little bird. Yeah, women really,
really like this bird. Yeah? Yeah. To eat or

to? No, just to look at. Just to look at? Yeah.
But they are delicious. They are, yeah. Yes?

Yeah. That's a problem. If you're slower than
me, stupider than me, and you taste good, tough

sh**. These lime chops, by the way, are amazing.
They look cute too. It's good to be a chef.

My friend Sigi from the hotel really hooked
me up here. Nice spread. Could be another tourist

calling for help. Yeah, I'm sure they'll be
fine. Tell them to just try to stay warm, drink

their own urine. When we're done with the lamb
chops, we'll go bail them out. Just how cold

was it and how long did it take for that South
American rugby team to start eating each other?

Luckily I won't have to find out the answer
on this trip, as my intrepid pals of 4x4 super

jeeps with satellite navigation. Back to the
warmth and security of my hotel. I better call

Sigi and have a make up some more of that hot
chocolate, cause I got a big day coming up.

Tomorrow kicks off the annual Viking feast of
frightening proportions.

I've survived my time in the wilderness and
I'm starting to get sensation back in my extremities,

but this whole late sunrise thing is making
me a little lethargic and cranky. How the hell

do these people do it? I need a less aerobic
way of experiencing the Icelandic winter. How

about a mid-winter feast? Hey, you know what
I feel like doing? I feel like seeing people

cooking the nether regions of various animals
that have been cured in lye. Hey, I feel like

some fermented shark. Come on! Iceland's rugged
terrain has forged a resilient and independent

culture, fashioned over the years by the descendants
of the farmers and warriors who fled the tyranny

of medieval Scandinavia. This original lot was
a tough bunch, and haute cuisine wasn't necessarily

the first thing on their minds. But the ancestral
Viking culinary route has not been forgotten.

is honored each year. What's it called, the
big party? The festival? Thoroughblog. And

how long have you been preparing for this? It's
been laying in Miskasset since September. That's

like... Six months. John and his cohorts have
spent the last half year prepping for this

feast. It's big business in Iceland. So big
that Thoroughblog to-go packs are shipped to

homesick Vikings around the world. Mmm. How
many of these you got ready to go? Oh, he's

cute. We've got about maybe 900 heads going
on. 900 heads. That's a lot of head. That's

the famous shark. That's the shark, yeah. The
famous shark. Buried underground and allowed

to basically rot for six months. A treasured
national treat. The meat is poisonous early

in the preparation. Maybe that's why it's handled
with rubber gloves. or maybe because it simply

stinks. It's the sheep's testicles. Testicles.
Oh yeah, breakfast of champions, thank you.

Yeah.

Mm, sheep testicles. It's not bad. Here's where
it all started. That's the head cheese. Yeah.

Sheep's head. Sheep's head, yeah, pork. But
all the meat is stripped off, the tongue. The

eyes, everything. I mean, it's like pasticles,
head cheese, the fatty part of the lamb, blood

sausage, sheep's head. Is there anything in
there that, you know, there's nothing normal?

By the way, what's it gonna be like tonight?
Is this gonna be a serious, insane old party?

Yeah, yeah, oh my God, there's gonna be a lot.
I really don't like it when somebody from Iceland

is telling me, oh my God. Really? Completely
insane behavior. Completely insane. If you

go around, who is? Let's get the party started.
Okay, maybe this is not the most exciting bunch

in Iceland. But they're nice, they're fun, and
they know how to party in their fashion. You

can really cut the excitement in here with a
knife. Welcome to Minnesota Orthodontist Society.

Thanks for coming. Today we'll be discussing
a painful and prolonged surgical procedure.

And it only heats up from here, folks. The entire
town of Dundee have not shown up yet. I think

they died of boredom after last year's event.
Either that or they fell victim to a vicious

butter knife clash with the town of Dundee.
Do these things ever break out into senseless,

butchery and violence, long simmering feuds?
Do any of these towns have local rivalries

or nothing? From looking at this age group,
I don't think so, no. My friend Maria's from

these parts, thankfully, and she's a seasoned
Thoroblot veteran, so hopefully she'll explain

the finer details of the festivities. It is
once a year. It's a time period from January

to March, where ice hunters are basically celebrating
how we used to store our food in the old days.

So it's just something you really only have
to do once a year? Yes, yes. Sort of like a

prostate exam? Yes. What did my old pediatrician
say? This will only be uncomfortable for a

minute, followed by that wasn't too bad, was
it? Yes, yes it was.

Now here's a buffet you're not gonna find in
Las Vegas. The lower jaw's supposed to be the

good stuff. Let's see, if I'm gonna keep winning.
Yeah, he's looking good. Mmm, a little smoked

lamb, a little head cheese. Oh, testicles. All
good? Oh yeah. Yeah, everyone's pointing at

that, yeah. Watch the American guy eat the fermented
shark. One is strongly advised to drink brenaven.

lots of bread of it, presumably to wash out
the taste of stinky shark. They told me I shouldn't

touch the shark with my fingers. Now, this is
food I'm expected to put in my stomach, but

they think that I shouldn't touch it with my
fingers. I've actually never heard that before.

That is, I think, the word unspeakably nasty.
This is probably the single worst thing I've

ever put in my mouth. Cheers to that.

But anyway, then we need to eat more, then I'll
be happy to share this with you.

They're telling everyone now that everyone here
is going to be world famous because they're

on the Travel Channel. And that it's not a joke.
Show us your breasts. Iceland chicks gone wild.

I was expecting like some out of control renaissance
festival. Haunches of meat, drunken bar wenches,

axe wielding vikings, belligerent trolls. No
one mentioned assigned seating or god help

us singing. I am from the west of the island,
from the highlands From the highlands, from

the world and the sea I am the leader of the
baby, from the birth house From the highlands,

from the world and the sea I am the leader of
the baby, from the birth house

Freebird! Lest you think I'm a total ingrate,
I do think the Funboy 3 really had good voices

and all the folks at the celebration were very
kind. And the meal? That was... alright, let's

call it what it was. Worst. Meal. Ever.

It's not all who snouts and f***s in this country.
There are some really fine chefs doing really

good work. And I'm gonna go find them.

The End

In Iceland, I don't limit my means of travel
exclusively to doggy power. Did you know that

I was a champion equestrian? I miss those days
on the riding circuit. As an outdoorsman, a

rough and ready, rough and tumble sort of a
guy, with a deep feeling for nature and livestock,

and the smell of animal feces. This is, of course,
always my preferred method of transportation.

Ho! Trouble in town, man? No problem.

That better be a ham sandwich in your pocket,
my friend, because you're going to have to

eat it. Come on, give it. Come on, buttercup.
Let's move. Come on, Rumsfeld. Yeah, let's

go. Giddyap, giddyap. Ho! That's good. Oh, yeah.
You smell my v***s. I rode on top of them.

We had a bonding experience.

Yes. Yes, looks just like Sarah Jessica Parker.
How old are you? Oh. There's no way you can

survive these winters on Putrid Shark Alone.
There are plenty of good chefs in this country

keeping bellies full and happy. A friend suggested
I meet their associate Sigmar, that he would

hook me up with a really good meal. Sigmar,
I'm cold, tired, hungry, I need a drink. Where

are you taking me? To a small restaurant which
name is Three Frenchmen. Oh, that's good. But

there is no Frenchmen. Oh, that's bad. But in
Icelandic, it also means three overcoats. But

in this case, it means some good eating. Now,
there's something familiar. It's kind of imaginary.

It's healthy, especially with a shark. Huh?
Here's a traveler's dilemma. Do you risk insulting

your proud host, saying that you'd rather have
a pack of razor-toothed ferrets gnaw your toes

off and eat that stinking shark one more time?
Or do you keep quiet and eat? I say, reluctantly,

eat it.

Oh good, you look better, you know. Some color
in your face now. I don't know if it's the

renmin or the shark. Maybe another one of these,
that was good. I like that. So, what should

I eat here? Fish stew. That's our traditional.
Your signature dish. Yeah. Going for that then.

What kind of fish do you put in here? Cod. All
cod. So it's cod, onions, potatoes and a bechamel

sauce spiced with curry. It's called Plak Fiskar.
Oh man, that's good. Oh yes. You see if you're

Icelandic person and you live abroad, the first
thing you have when you come home is this.

Well, this is pretty damn good. So. Where does
everybody come from in this country? Is everybody

descended from Vikings or not? We are a mixture
of Vikings and Irish. Because the Vikings,

they came to Iceland because they didn't want
to pay taxes at home. In Scandinavia, there

was one strong guy, Harald, who would run. whole
Norway. The Vikings, they said, no, not paying

you anything. We go to Iceland. Then on the
way they said, well, we don't want to work.

So let's pick up some slaves in Ireland. And
then when the Viking was picking up the slaves,

they saw some beautiful Irish girls. So they
came home with seven guys, but eleven girls.

That's the Icelandic nation. Cutest Irish babes
and the laziest Vikings. Yeah, true, true.

That sounds pretty damn good to me. That was
awesome. It's good. This is what food should

be. I have many, many guests coming over here
and sometimes, you know, some people do not

like to eat fish. For instance, we have whale
meat and many Americans say, oh, I never eat

whale, you know. No, no, no. I'd be happy to
take care of this diplomatic situation for

you. I'll be the official greener for Iceland,
in fact. If you don't like fish, if you're

some kind of a vegetarian, and you've got some
sort of, you know, weird notions about whales,

get your candy ass back on the plane and go
to Disney World. Thank you. Thank you very

much, Tony. We will be near our hearts forever
for that. So there you go. I'm gonna be held

in the bosom of all Icelanders. Mom will be
so proud.

Iceland makes the claim that its inhabitants
lived the longest lives on earth. And well,

I haven't seen anybody die since I got here,
so it's gotta be true. It's all in the mud

and rub spa culture, Iceland style. Okay, this
place has all the ambiance of that movie Cocoon.

I was kinda hoping for a hip, swinging spa.
This is kind of a bummer.

This is actually a clinic that combines modern
medical science with Icelandic health care

traditions. What's the thick rubber glove for?
I hope that's for my producer. He's into rubber.

Do you mind if I massage your glutes? What's
a glute? With my glutes nice and tenderized,

I'm ready for the main event.

Ah, okay. Slide in. Yeah. Lean back.

There's a certain element of trust is required
in this operation. It's like this dried out...

It would be basically solid, wouldn't it? Yes.
You can see it in the other cup. Yeah. So if

you leave...if you forget and like leave me
in here, that would probably not be a good

thing? No, that would never happen. You would
say that. Now before you go shoveling a bunch

of dirt into your bathtub, this is therapeutic
mud. Special mud made with Icelandic volcanic

ash and a splash of geothermal water. You just
sat me smooth after this. Skin will be lovely

and emolliated like J.Lo's butt. soft supple.
waste. What is with the rubber gloves in this

place?

Yeah, this time. Okay, I feel like a loaf of
well-baked bread.

Take the most of the clay off you. Oh yeah,
I can't go home like this. I feel like I'm

in the Blue Man Group.

It's kind of like a Zag Nut Bar. Little crunchy
bits in inappropriate places.

When in doubt, wrap the tourist in sheets and
blankets, put him in a dart room and play him

the... ..miracle pan flute of Zamfier.

Here's one in your eye. And up your ass.

That was nice. Ready for a cigarette and a beer?
Oh yeah, that was a great scene. Riveting.

You get to see my scrawny ass and bony concave
chest again. Wasn't that fascinating? See Tony

lying in mud. See Tony wallowing in mud. Oh,
that was just magically invigorating and healthy.

Next scene you get to see a high colonic. Hey,
maybe you'll get to see me clean a bedpan.

Healthy, organic and pure. You'll notice, by
the way, anytime you hear the word purity come

up too often in conversation, the sound of jackboots
can't be far behind. Who knew mud baths would

make me so... angry? I feel like drinking just
out of spite at this point. Hey, Yelp Boy,

suck this. You know, hey, there's still hope
we could run over Richard Gere on the way back

home. I've had my fill of healthy, I'm looking
to go unhealthy. Spitefully unhealthy. That's

good tobacco.

Beep beep

What time is it? Who knows? Who cares? Doesn't
really make any difference, does it?

That's not good.

I will not deny that the lack of sunlight alters
one's state of mind.

It may explain the fact that 80% of Icelanders
accept the possibility that elves, gnomes,

and pixies exist. those trolls. Suddenly I feel
like a tollhouse cookie or a Tom Cruise movie.

He's a short little fella. Now I'm not a huge
fan of many traditions but Iceland does have

a little social activity that's key in surviving
the winter. It's called Runtur. A marathon

bar nightclub crawl that's a Saturday night
must. Now this is a tradition I can get behind.

You got a strong film Tom. Up all night and
drinking. I can do that. Yes, I'm good at this.

The fermented shark here, do you eat it? I've
tried it. Do you like it? Oh, it's good? Yeah,

it's okay. You are a lying sack of sh**.

This guy's telling me the shark meat's alarming
taste has something to do with the high concentration

of waste product in the animal's tissue. So
it's basically marinated in urine, that's what

you're telling me? Ah, that explains the taste.

The chefs at the hotel have put up some kind
of announcement on the National Chef website,

so every culinary guru, chef and cook seems
to have shown up to get hammered, gossip and

behave badly. Hey, there's my old friend Sigi
from Vox Restaurant. And there's Bjorn and

hey, there's John, the Thoroughblog guy. The
sheep heads were too much for me. After hauling

fermented fish and testicles out of vats of
acid all day, I'll bet he needs a drink. For

America! Or seven. Goodbye America. Yeah! Woohoo!
Oh yeah, he's looking fresh. Siggy may work

at one of the best restaurants in the country,
but he knows where to find the good stuff after

a few cocktails. You work at the best restaurant
in Iceland, but what's the most popular restaurant

in Iceland? The most popular restaurant is probably
the hot dog place. Ah yes, in the midst of

a heavy night of drinking, I'm glad to see that
even Icelanders seek out the comfort of a good

old hot dog. I gotta have one with what, what
do I say? One hot dog with everything?

You're ordering for me. Yeah. Ketchup, there's
mustard, there's like curry sauce. Remoulade.

Yeah. And crudgy. Yeah. You're going to say
with everything. You're going to love that.

With everything. Well yeah, that's a good looking
dog. Cheers, dude.

This is not only good, this is the best!

This is deeper glass than f***ing London pigs.
He didn't mean? Paris Hilton got famous doing

that. So our former president Clinton, uh, he
ain't here two weeks before his heart blew

a gasket and he had to have open heart surgery.
That's the mark of quality. I feel a little

pain in my tongue. It hurts so good. That's
one serious dog. 2 a.m. and things don't seem

to be slowing down. If I have my chair ready.
So do all the chefs in Iceland know each other?

Pretty much. Hey guys, don't you know the guy?
Alain Boudin. Well, close enough. In case you

haven't noticed, people like to drink in this
country. What's up, man?

For example, this guy. This guy likes to drink
in this country. So I kind of lost count of

bars at this point. I get the general impression
from my fellow solid citizens it's going to

be a long, long night. And so, we are almost
at the point where we say adieu to Iceland.

Let us only hope. The last scene of this show
is not being curled up in a shivering fetal

position on a cold, tiled floor.

I'm out. This country is rife with volcanic
activity and steam vents. And I say that's

a good thing, a very good thing, because ice
slenders have harnessed all that hot goodness

and have been hot tubbing longer than any other
people on Earth. And well, swimming hole number

one is the Blue Lagoon. Hi, I'm Anthony Bourdain
from Playboy After Dark. Come on in. This reminds

me when me and Peter Lawford and Bill Cosby
used to hang out over at Heft's place, swinging.

Hef has nothing on these folks. Made up of two-thirds
salt water and one-third fresh water, the water

in the Blue Lagoon is high in silica and algae.
Substance is known for their natural healing

powers. It's 104 degrees of simmering goodness.
You wake up feeling like you're really just

not sure whether you want to curl up into a
fetal ball, start crying, projectile vomit,

or hang yourself in the shower. This landing
thing to do is go to the Blue Lagoon, marinate

me, volcanic hot tub heated by a geyser, and
drink more. Conveniently located on the way

to the airport, by the way. Tell you, if I get
a beer in me, I just might make it onto that

plane. Oh, waiter, it's Suntory time. You may
now, American Chef. Anthony Borden. When he's

thirsty, he enjoys the suntory.

Life would be just perfect if only I had a floating
beer caddy. Keep these coming. I had a great

time here, but it wasn't exactly what I was
expecting. I have a couple of changes for that

tourism film. There is a country in Europe.
Yeah, and it's called Iceland for a reason.

That mild winter weather is sometimes interrupted
by ferocious blizzards. Sorry about that. Hey,

no problem. There's fun to be had. Dogs sledding
on glaciers. Horsey rides across the frozen

tundra. Oh, quite nice and nuts. Nice and close.
Perfect. And don't forget about the exquisite

lamb. Oh, yeah. I think I ate that guy's. true
Icelandic delicacy. Not to mention some of

the more tart nuts available on the planet.
The strongmen train by day and the beer flows

freely at night. You know, throw up on the breakfast
nook. A kill yourself hangover? No problem.

Take a refreshing dip in the blue lagoon. Iceland.
The way a cold, dark, wintry short vacation

should be. Welcome to Iceland!

Glad you enjoyed it. Actually, I did, immensely.
Thanks.