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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:10,358 [ROCK 'N' ROLL PLAYING] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:24,214 [MUSIC FADES] 5 00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:28,827 MOM, AUNT IDA'S HERE! 6 00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:31,482 WHAT'S WRONG? 7 00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:33,005 NOTHING. I WAS JUST WONDERING 8 00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:36,400 WHY, WHEN WE GET OLDER, DOES JUST-- 9 00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:38,446 EVERYTHING JUST TURNS TO SHIT. 10 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:47,759 [ROCK 'N' ROLL RESUMES] 11 00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:56,159 -THANK YOU. -MM-HMM. 12 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:58,683 SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 13 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:03,514 YOU-- WELL, YOU TOLD ME TO COME FOR THE WEEKEND. 14 00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:05,777 NEXT WEEKEND. 15 00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:06,778 NO. 16 00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:09,216 -YEAH. -REALLY? NEXT WEEKEND? 17 00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:10,652 -MM-HMM. -OH, GOD, ALI. I'M SO SORRY. 18 00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:12,436 I WROTE IT DOWN. I PUT IT WITH 19 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:13,916 ALL MY APPOINTMENTS, AND THEN I-- 20 00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,265 LOST YOUR PHONE AGAIN? 21 00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:16,440 NO, DON'T BE SO JUDGMENTAL. 22 00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:18,747 I JUST-- I LEFT IT AT THE LOFT 23 00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:21,097 WHEN JAKE AND I HAD THE MAKEUP, BREAKUP, 24 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,316 WHATEVER SEX. 25 00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:24,100 YOU KNOW, I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU STAY. 26 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,320 I WOULD LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN THAT, 27 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:29,323 BUT SIMON HAS THIS WORK THING, 28 00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:30,846 AND HE'S PREPARING FOR IT, 29 00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:33,979 AND I'M-- I'M ON SARA DUTY JUST ALL WEEKEND. 30 00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:36,156 YEAH. NO, I GET IT TOTALLY. 31 00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,332 WE'LL BE LIKE-- WE'LL BE LIKE THE THREE MUSKETEERS. 32 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:41,335 THIS IS GOING TO BE REALLY GOOD FOR ME RIGHT NOW, 33 00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:43,902 AND SHE IS SUCH A LITTLE ANGEL. 34 00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:45,513 GET IT, BOY. [DOG SNARLING] 35 00:02:45,556 --> 00:02:47,558 OKAY, I KNOW THAT I-- 36 00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,256 I SCARE HER A LITTLE BIT LATELY. 37 00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:50,996 I KNOW THAT, BUT-- 38 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,564 BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DRIVE BACK TO PALM DESERT. 39 00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,566 I CAN'T DO THAT RIGHT NOW. 40 00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:58,874 YOU CAN STAY IN A HOTEL. 41 00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,225 FINE. FINE. 42 00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:05,054 BUT I CAN'T PROMISE ANYTHING. 43 00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:06,229 OKAY. 44 00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:10,581 NO. WE TALKED ABOUT THIS. 45 00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:13,323 IF GUYS HAVE A BACHELOR PARTY WHEN THEY TIE THE KNOT, 46 00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:15,020 THEY SHOULD HAVE AN EVEN BIGGER PARTY WHEN THEY CUT THE CORD. 47 00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:16,500 YOU WANT TO THROW ME A DIVORCE PARTY. 48 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,632 -MM-HMM. -COOL. 49 00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:19,242 AND AS YOUR FORMER BEST MAN, 50 00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:21,244 I TOOK IT UPON MYSELF. IT'S ALL SET UP. 51 00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:22,854 TONIGHT? 52 00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:25,814 [SIGHS] NO. 53 00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:27,772 THANK YOU, BUT I'LL PASS. 54 00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,252 YOU CAN'T PASS. 55 00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,080 I RESERVED THE PLAYERS ROOM AT THE DIRTY BIRDIE. 56 00:03:31,123 --> 00:03:33,822 GROSS. YOU AREN'T ACTUALLY GOING TO A STRIP CLUB, ARE YOU? 57 00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:34,823 OF COURSE NOT, HONEY. 58 00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:36,346 I DON'T HAVE A SITTER LINED UP. 59 00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:38,740 DAD, WE DON'T NEED A SITTER. WE'RE NOT BABIES ANYMORE. 60 00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:40,176 PRECISELY. NOW GET A MOVE ON, MAN. 61 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,177 THE BOYS ARE WAITING. 62 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,005 WHAT BOYS? 63 00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:44,746 FRED, CARL, SOL, AND MANNY. THE BOYS. 64 00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,617 THOSE ARE YOUR FRIENDS. 65 00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,228 YEAH, THEY'RE MY FRIENDS, BUT YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY 66 00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:49,664 A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY, SO I HAD TO IMPROVISE. 67 00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,970 I HOPE YOU'RE AWARE THAT BESIDES OBJECTIFYING WOMEN, 68 00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:53,798 STRIP CLUBS ARE CRAWLING WITH VENEREAL DISEASES. 69 00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:54,973 CAN I COME? 70 00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:57,019 YOU'RE 10 YEARS OLD. 71 00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,847 LET'S TAKE THIS ONE STEP AT A TIME. 72 00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:00,675 FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS IS YOU NEED TO CHANGE 73 00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:01,850 OUT OF THESE DEPRESSING SWEATPANTS. 74 00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,243 WHAT'S DEPRESSING ABOUT MY SWEATPANTS? 75 00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:05,419 CHANNEL 11 DID THIS EXPOSE 76 00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:08,204 ON HOW STRIPPER POLES ARE LIKE A PETRI DISH FOR VAGINAL FLEAS. 77 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,424 OKAY, DON'T WORRY. I WOULD NEVER GO TO A STRIP CLUB, 78 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,904 AND LET'S NOT SAY, "VAGINAL FLEAS." 79 00:04:13,992 --> 00:04:15,255 ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE GOING SOMEWHERE, 80 00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:18,606 BECAUSE THE PARTY MOBILE IS PAID IN FULL. 81 00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:20,085 -WHOA. -WHAT? 82 00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,268 -YOU'RE SUCH A TOOL. -YOU REALLY ARE. 83 00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:31,227 SO WHAT DOES YOUR PREGNANT WIFE 84 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,403 THINK OF THIS NIGHT OF DEBAUCHERY YOU'VE PLANNED? 85 00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:36,363 YOU KNOW WHAT? SPARE ME THE MATRIMONY LECTURE, HALF-PINT. 86 00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:39,279 LAST WEEK, DIANE FARTED ON ME IN BED. 87 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:41,368 SHE WASN'T EVEN ASLEEP. SHE WAS READING. 88 00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:43,021 IT WAS A REAL RIPPER, TOO. 89 00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:45,067 I SAID TO HER, "WHY'D YOU DO THAT TO ME?" 90 00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:46,242 SHE DIDN'T EVEN APOLOGIZE. 91 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,852 SHE JUST LOOKED AT ME AND WAS LIKE, 92 00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:49,071 "WELL, I WAS GONNA ROLL OVER, 93 00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:50,464 BUT IT SEEMED LIKE TOO MUCH WORK." 94 00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:52,553 MARRIAGE REALLY SUCKS, DOESN'T IT? 95 00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:55,338 NOT ALWAYS. THERE ARE PLENTY OF HAPPILY MARRIED COUPLES OUT THERE. 96 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,122 AS MUCH AS I HATE TO ADMIT IT, 97 00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:59,647 MAYBE UNCLE WILL IS RIGHT. 98 00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:02,258 NOT ABOUT THE STRIP CLUB, OBVIOUSLY, 99 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,087 BUT YOU HAVEN'T BEEN OUT OF THE HOUSE AFTER SUNSET IN AGES. 100 00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:06,741 YOU'RE LIKE A REVERSE VAMPIRE. 101 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,265 WE'LL BE FINE HERE FOR ONE NIGHT. 102 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,266 GO HAVE SOME FUN. 103 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,659 I APPRECIATE IT, 104 00:05:11,702 --> 00:05:13,356 BUT I'M A GROWN-UP, AND IT ISN'T IMPORTANT 105 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:14,531 THAT I HAVE FUN ANYMORE. 106 00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:19,406 ONE DRINK AT A RESPECTABLE PLACE, 107 00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:20,885 AND I'M WEARING MY SWEATPANTS. 108 00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:23,888 YOU'RE SMART KIDS. 109 00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:27,849 [TAPS ON DOOR] 110 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,547 NO. 111 00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,984 [SCOFFS] I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING YET. 112 00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:34,638 I'M SAVING YOU THE TIME. 113 00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:37,293 I'M AWARE WE AGREED ON FAMILY DINNERS, 114 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,251 BUT I'M UNDER THE GUN HERE. 115 00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:42,820 THAT'S NOT ACTUALLY WHAT I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. 116 00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:44,169 IT'S NOT? 117 00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:46,389 I NEED TO ASK YOU A FAVOR. 118 00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:48,522 CAN IT WAIT TILL AFTER MONDAY? 119 00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:50,045 IDA'S HERE. 120 00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:51,525 YOU'RE KIDDING. 121 00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:53,831 SHE GOT THE DATE WRONG, DIDN'T SHE? 122 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,746 DON'T BE SO JUDGMENTAL. YOU KNOW SHE'S GOING THROUGH 123 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,487 A REALLY HARD TIME RIGHT NOW. 124 00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,881 WELL, YOU'RE NOT SERIOUSLY THINKING OF LETTING HER STAY, ARE YOU? 125 00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:02,100 I KNOW IT'S NOT THE MOST CONVENIENT TIME FOR A VISIT, 126 00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:03,493 BUT THINK OF IT FROM HER PERSPECTIVE. 127 00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:05,669 OKAY. 128 00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:07,584 I QUIT MY JOB. 129 00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,020 YOU DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE. 130 00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:10,500 AND I MOVED IN WITH MY MOTHER. 131 00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,372 EVERYBODY MAKES A BAD JUDGMENT CALL NOW AND THEN. 132 00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:15,940 AND I SQUANDER MY DAYS READING E-MAILS FROM MY ESTRANGED HUSBAND, 133 00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:18,116 SEARCHING FOR SECRET MEANING 134 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,163 LIKE SOME SORT OF DEMENTED SCHOLAR. 135 00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,773 OKAY, I-- YOU'RE RIGHT. 136 00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:24,601 THERE'S NO WONDER SHE'S SUCH A MESS. 137 00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:27,517 IT COULD JUST BE FOR ONE NIGHT. 138 00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:29,606 YOU PUT SARA TO BED. I'LL TAKE MY SISTER 139 00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,565 OUT FOR A DRINK. SHE'LL TALK MY EAR OFF. 140 00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:34,176 YOU CAN HAVE THE REST OF THE WEEKEND TO GET YOUR WORK DONE. 141 00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:35,830 BABE, YOU KNOW I'D LIKE TO HELP, BUT-- 142 00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:37,875 I'LL PUT SARA DOWN EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK. 143 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,488 AND I'LL GIVE HER HER BATH TIMES ALL NEXT WEEK, TOO. 144 00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:45,056 AND I'LL GIVE YOU A BLOW JOB. 145 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,275 WHAT? 146 00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:49,321 REALLY? RIGHT NOW? 147 00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:50,758 NO, NOT RIGHT NOW. 148 00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:52,455 I MEAN, MY SISTER'S OUTSIDE WATCHING OUR DAUGHTER. 149 00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:55,980 I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T SPARE A MINUTE. 150 00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,027 WON'T TAKE LONG. 151 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,163 HI. I AM BETTY, 152 00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:07,078 AND I WILL BE YOUR DRIVER THIS EVENING. 153 00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:10,081 JUST TO SET OUT A FEW GROUND RULES FOR YOU GENTLEMEN, 154 00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,780 NO SMOKING IN THE LIMO, AND NO DRUG USE. 155 00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:13,781 GOT IT. 156 00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:14,999 AND REMEMBER OUR MOTTO, 157 00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:17,001 "WHATEVER HAPPENS IN THE PARTY MOBILE 158 00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:18,481 STAYS IN THE PARTY MOBILE." 159 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:19,787 ALL RIGHT. 160 00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:22,398 UNLESS YOU NEED TO SHIT, PISS, OR PUKE. 161 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,574 IN THAT CASE, PLEASE ASK ME TO PULL OVER 162 00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,620 OR AT LEAST DO IT OUT THE WINDOW. 163 00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:29,927 OKAY. WE STRIKE YOU AS THE KIND OF PEOPLE WHO WOULD... 164 00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:31,799 SHIT OUT A LIMOUSINE WINDOW? 165 00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,583 I'M NOT CASTING ASPERSIONS, SIR, 166 00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:36,325 BUT I HAVE NOTICED WHEN PEOPLE GO OUT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME, 167 00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:37,805 THEY AREN'T NECESSARILY THINKING 168 00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:39,676 ABOUT WHO HAS TO CLEAN UP THE MESS. 169 00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:42,331 THAT PERSON IS ME. 170 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,420 -OKAY. -OKAY. 171 00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:47,205 THANK YOU. 172 00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,734 [WILL] THIS IS PRETTY SWEET, HUH? 173 00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:55,823 [CLARK] SMELLS LIKE DRAKKAR NOIR AND MINT LOLLIPOPS IN HERE. 174 00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:58,216 [WILL] I THINK THAT'S PEPPERMINT SCHNAPPS. 175 00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:01,219 SO IS THIS, LIKE, COMPLIMENTARY, 176 00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:03,483 OR IS IT THE WAY THEY DO IT IN THE HOTEL, 177 00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:04,962 WHERE EVERYTHING'S EXORBITANTLY MARKED UP? 178 00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,704 NO WAY, MAN. THIS IS A DELUXE PACKAGE. 179 00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:09,880 YOU CAN DRINK YOURSELF SENSELESS. 180 00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,403 I KNOW I PLAN TO. 181 00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:12,927 NO, THANK YOU. 182 00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:14,929 I DON'T WANT TO RISK CAR SICKNESS. 183 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:16,496 SUIT YOURSELF. 184 00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,370 WHAT ARE THESE? 185 00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:22,545 OH. NICE. 186 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,373 OH, WILL YOU STOP BEING SUCH A PRUDE? 187 00:08:24,416 --> 00:08:25,417 -THEY ALL HAVE THOSE. -REALLY? 188 00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:26,767 EVERY LIMOUSINE IN THE WORLD 189 00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:29,291 HAS A CONCEALED PROPHYLACTIC REPOSITORY 190 00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:31,685 AND APPARENTLY-- GREAT-- A LUBE COMPARTMENT. 191 00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,295 YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT FIND THIS HARD TO BELIEVE, 192 00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:35,515 BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKE TO CUT LOOSE EVERY NOW AND THEN. 193 00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:38,169 I'M JUST A LITTLE WORRIED THAT THEY CUT LOOSE ON THIS UPHOLSTERY LAST NIGHT. 194 00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,824 BETTY, WE'D LIKE TO GO TO THE DIRTY BIRDIE, PLEASE. 195 00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,739 -CLASSY. -STOP, PLEASE. 196 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,698 -WHAT? -I'M NOT GOING TO A STRIP CLUB. 197 00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:46,613 SERIOUSLY? I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST FOR THE KIDS. 198 00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:47,657 NO. 199 00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:51,443 -REALLY? -YES! I'M NOT GOING. 200 00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:54,446 OKAY. ROGER THAT. [SIGHS] 201 00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:57,275 GOTTA LET THE BOYS KNOW THAT THEY CAN RAGE ON WITHOUT US. 202 00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:58,450 SO WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO? 203 00:08:58,494 --> 00:08:59,669 THIS NIGHT WAS YOUR IDEA. 204 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:01,802 OKAY. 205 00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:05,457 MAKE THAT THE ROOSEVELT. 206 00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:06,502 MUCH BETTER CHOICE. 207 00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:09,766 THANK YOU. NOT THAT I NEED YOUR APPROVAL, 208 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:10,985 BUT THANK YOU. 209 00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:12,073 GOOD TO KNOW. 210 00:09:14,292 --> 00:09:15,685 [CLARK] SORRY. CAN YOU STOP AGAIN? 211 00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:25,565 ARE YOU GENTLEMEN OKAY BACK THERE? 212 00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:27,088 [WILL] WE JUST NEED A MINUTE. 213 00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:28,611 I KNOW WHAT THE ROOSEVELT HOTEL IS, 214 00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,134 AND IT'S-- IT'S HIP, AND I-- 215 00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:31,658 IT'S A HOTEL BAR. 216 00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:34,574 IT'S A HIP HOTEL BAR WITH JET-SETTERS AND FILM PEOPLE. 217 00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:36,140 WELL, I WARNED YOU NOT TO WEAR THE SWEATPANTS. 218 00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:38,186 HEY, NO MORE SWEATPANT COMMENTS. 219 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,667 I WILL GO RIGHT HOME AND GO TO BED. 220 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,582 YOU GOT IT. 221 00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:45,541 BY THE WAY, IT'S NOT EVEN 8:00. 222 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,021 GONE TO BED A LOT EARLIER THAN 8:00. 223 00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:48,065 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 224 00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:50,633 YOUR CHOICE. YOU PICK THE BAR, 225 00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:53,244 MAYBE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD HERE, ANYWHERE YOU WANT TO GO. 226 00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:54,550 I DON'T KNOW. 227 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,204 THIS PLACE HAS GOTTEN SO GENTRIFIED LATELY. 228 00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:58,946 IT'S LIKE NOTHING BUT YOUNG PEOPLE. 229 00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:00,643 -OH, NO, NOT YOUNG PEOPLE. - THE OTHER DAY, 230 00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:03,646 I WENT TO A COFFEE SHOP JUST AROUND THE CORNER, 231 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:06,693 AND I JUST WANTED TO SIT AND HAVE A CAPPUCCINO, GRADE SOME PAPERS. 232 00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:08,520 GREAT STORY, BY THE WAY. 233 00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,871 THEY HAD THIS-- THEY HAD ONE OF THOSE OLD-STYLE PHOTO BOOTHS, 234 00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:14,004 AND INSTEAD OF IT TAKING PORTRAITS, IT WAS-- 235 00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:16,093 THE CAMERA WAS AIMED LOWER AT CROTCHES, 236 00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:17,399 SO KIDS WERE JUST GOING IN AND OUT... 237 00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:18,356 -WHY? -TAKING PICTURES OF THEIR CROTCH. 238 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:19,662 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT THEY DO. 239 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,708 I DON'T GET IT. THEY SHOULD POST SIGNS. 240 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,798 THE KIDS TAKING PICTURES OF THEIR CROTCHES SHOULD POST A SIGN- 241 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:27,409 NO, LIKE BARS AND RESTAURANTS. THE WAY THEY, YOU KNOW, PUT A SIGN THAT SAYS 242 00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:29,629 YOU HAVE TO BE 21 AND OVER TO DRINK HERE, THEY NEED TO PUT A SIGN 243 00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:33,676 THAT SAYS IF YOU'RE OVER A CERTAIN AGE, YOU'RE GOING TO BE FEELING OUT OF TOUCH AND-- 244 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:37,071 HAVE YOU HONESTLY NEVER HEARD OF ANTIDISCRIMINATION LAWSUITS? 245 00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:40,944 BETTY, YOU OBVIOUSLY FREQUENT A LOT OF WATERING HOLES. 246 00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:42,163 [BETTY] EXCUSE ME? -"WATERING HOLES"? 247 00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,556 WOULD YOU RECOMMEND A PLACE 248 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,949 WHERE WE COULD JUST SIT AND HAVE A NICE DRINK 249 00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,559 WITH PEOPLE OUR OWN AGE? 250 00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:49,649 I ONCE HAD A GROUP OF LADIES FROM THE RED HAT SOCIETY. 251 00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,302 I THINK THEY WENT TO A WINE BAR. 252 00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:53,653 PERFECT. THANK YOU. 253 00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:55,480 THE ANSWER IS NO. 254 00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:57,047 I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO A WINE BAR 255 00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:59,746 FOR YOUR ONE-AND-ONLY DIVORCE PARTY. NO WAY. 256 00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,225 YOU TOLD ME TO PICK. 257 00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:05,708 YOU CAN'T-- THERE'S-- YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND IT. 258 00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:06,970 I ALREADY LOOKED ON YOUR BEHALF. 259 00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,102 -YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND IT. -I'LL USE YOURS. 260 00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:09,799 THEY NEVER MATCH-- DO THESE ACTUALLY 261 00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,019 HAVE TO MATCH UP WITH THE PERSON'S THING? I NEVER KNOW. 262 00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:13,020 OH, NO, IT WORKS. 263 00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:14,761 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 264 00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:18,286 [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 265 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,331 YOU SURE THEY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING STRONGER THAN WINE HERE? 266 00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:22,029 HERE AT THIS WINE BAR? 267 00:11:22,072 --> 00:11:24,074 NOT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS A WINE DRINKER. 268 00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:25,423 NO NEED TO GET SNIPPY ABOUT IT. 269 00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:28,296 YEAH, WELL, CLEARLY YOU'RE NOT A WINE DRINKER. 270 00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:31,081 YOU KNOW THE BEST THING ABOUT HANGING OUT WITH MOM IS THAT 271 00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:33,127 NOTHING THIS GIRLIE COULD EVEN GET ME BUZZED ANYMORE. 272 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,088 I SAID WE COULD GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. DO YOU WANT TO? 273 00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:41,222 IT'S NOT THE BAR. IT'S JUST THAT READING THIS CRAP IS DRIVING ME CRAZY. 274 00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:42,745 THEN WHY DON'T YOU STOP, HONEY? 275 00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:45,356 BECAUSE IF I COULD JUST FIGURE OUT WHAT JAKE WANTED, 276 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:46,749 THEN, YOU KNOW, I'D KNOW WHAT TO DO. 277 00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,795 WHO CARES WHAT HE WANTS? WHAT DO YOU WANT? 278 00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:52,712 WHAT I WANT IS FOR JAKE TO FEEL BAD FOR HURTING ME. 279 00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:55,845 THEN I WANT HIM TO BEG FOR MY FORGIVENESS, 280 00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:58,718 AND THEN I WANT HIM TO DIE IN A GRISLY AND EMBARRASSING ACCIDENT 281 00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:00,197 INVOLVING, I DON'T KNOW, 282 00:12:00,241 --> 00:12:01,721 LIKE, FARM ANIMALS AND MASTURBATING. 283 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,200 [BOTH LAUGH] 284 00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:04,985 IT COULD HAPPEN, I THINK... 285 00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:06,987 -I KNOW. I KNOW. -FROM THE E-MAILS. 286 00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:08,597 JESUS, WHY ARE MEN SUCH DIPSHITS? 287 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,033 WELL, THEY AREN'T ALL DIPSHITS. 288 00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:11,252 SO IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE 289 00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,688 THAT YOU AND I BOTH MARRIED DIPSHITS? 290 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,298 -SIMON'S NOT A DIPSHIT. -OF COURSE NOT. 291 00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:15,909 NO. I MEAN, YOU JUST HAD TO BLOW HIM... 292 00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,345 I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TOLD YOU THAT. 293 00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:18,781 TO LET YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE 294 00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:19,782 -FOR ONE NIGHT. -COME ON. 295 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,218 JUST FACE IT. MEN ARE SCUM. 296 00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,005 LOOK AT SWEATPANTS OVER THERE. 297 00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:27,224 AWW. 298 00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:28,704 WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST THAT GUY? 299 00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:30,662 NOTHING. 300 00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,664 IT'S JUST THAT HE HONESTLY BELIEVES 301 00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:35,363 THAT ONE OF US WOULD REACH OUR HANDS 302 00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:37,060 INTO HIS CRUSTY GYM ATTIRE 303 00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:39,497 AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HIS PENIS. 304 00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:41,108 OH, MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 305 00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:42,544 SERIOUSLY. LOOK AT HIM. 306 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:43,937 HE'S BUILDING UP THE COURAGE 307 00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:46,113 TO COME OVER HERE AND BUY ONE OF US A DRINK. 308 00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:48,637 NO IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S TRYING TO FIND WHERE HE LOST HIS KEYS. 309 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,030 NO, THAT'S ALL PART OF HIS MOVE. 310 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,336 HE STUNS HIS PREY INTO A FALSE SENSE OF STABILITY, 311 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:55,426 AND THEN, BAMMO, "GET YOUR HANDS DOWN MY PANTS, BITCH." 312 00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:56,906 -IDA! -HI. 313 00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:58,821 DO YOU THINK I COULD BUY YOU A DRINK? 314 00:12:58,865 --> 00:12:59,822 [WOMEN LAUGH] 315 00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,171 TOLD YOU. 316 00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:02,216 BAMMO. 317 00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:05,132 ALL RIGHT. WAS THAT FUNNY OR...? 318 00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:07,743 I'M SORRY. 319 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,266 NO. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, 320 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,529 BUT WE'RE GOOD ON WINE. THANKS. 321 00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:13,967 -OKAY. - WHAT MY SISTER MEANS 322 00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:15,577 IS THAT SHE'S MARRIED, 323 00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,535 ALBEIT TO A WORKAHOLIC DIPSHIT, 324 00:13:17,579 --> 00:13:19,407 AND THE ONLY WAY I'D SCREW A GUY TONIGHT 325 00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,844 WOULD BE TO MAKE MY SCUMBAG HUSBAND JEALOUS, 326 00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:24,064 AND YOU DON'T REALLY CUT THE MUSTARD IN THAT DEPARTMENT. 327 00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,935 OKAY, WHAT MY SISTER IS SAYING... 328 00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:27,458 YOU DON'T HAVE TO-- 329 00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:29,460 IS THAT SHE KIND OF HATES MEN RIGHT NOW, 330 00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:31,506 AND SHE'S EXPRESSING THAT VIA A MORTIFYINGLY 331 00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:34,378 EMBARRASSING SENSE OF HUMOR WHICH ISN'T FUNNY. 332 00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:35,379 I'M NOT JOKING. 333 00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:36,903 WHO BUYS A WOMAN A DRINK, 334 00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:39,035 EVEN IN A NEW-AGE ESTROGEN SHACK LIKE THIS, 335 00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:40,994 IF THEY'RE NOT TRYING TO GET INTO HER PANTS? 336 00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:44,562 THAT WASN'T WHAT I WAS-- YOU'RE NOT EVEN WEARING PANTS. 337 00:13:44,606 --> 00:13:46,390 OH, I BET YOU LOVE THAT, DON'T YOU? 338 00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,044 YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST SO YOU KNOW, 339 00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:49,567 THIS WASN'T MY IDEA. 340 00:13:49,611 --> 00:13:51,221 I GOT DIVORCED TODAY, 341 00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:54,659 AND MY FRIEND'S KIND OF FORCING ME TO HAVE FUN. 342 00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:56,357 AND I TOLD HIM THAT I NEVER 343 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,620 BOUGHT A WOMAN A DRINK AT A BAR, AND HE SAID 344 00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:01,971 IF I DID THAT, THAT HE WOULD LET ME GO HOME. 345 00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,104 JUST WANT TO BE ASLEEP. 346 00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:06,062 I MEAN, AS FAR AS PICKUP LINES GO, 347 00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:08,064 YOU GET POINTS FOR CREATIVITY, SWEATPANTS. 348 00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:10,893 WASN'T A PICKUP LINE. MY NAME'S CLARK. 349 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:11,894 SORRY. 350 00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:14,679 -CLARK, I'M ALISON... -NICE TO MEET YOU. 351 00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:17,160 AND MY LUNATIC SISTER IS IDA. 352 00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:18,205 WHAT'S YOUR FRIEND'S NAME? 353 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:20,860 WILL. 354 00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:25,995 OH. IS HE DIVORCED, TOO? 355 00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:27,040 HE'S MARRIED. 356 00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:28,519 -HAPPILY? - IDA! 357 00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:29,956 DON'T KNOW IF I'D GO THAT FAR. 358 00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:32,393 [ALISON] THANK YOU SO MUCH... [CLARK] YEAH. 359 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,221 FOR OFFERING THE DRINK. WE SHOULD GO. 360 00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:36,658 WHAT? DON'T BE SILLY. WILL JUST GOT HERE. 361 00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:37,659 HEY. 362 00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:39,661 [IDA] HI. 363 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,577 SO WE COULD REALLY USE A MALE PERSPECTIVE 364 00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:43,883 ON ALL OF THIS, 365 00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:45,710 SO WHY DON'T YOU GUYS TAKE A LOAD OFF 366 00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,103 AND BUY US THOSE DRINKS? 367 00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:49,932 OH, YEAH. 368 00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:52,021 WAITRESS. BAR LADY. 369 00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:54,806 JUST ANOTHER BOTTLE OF YOUR GIRLIEST WHATEVER. 370 00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:07,123 [WILL] SO YOU PRINT OUT ALL YOUR E-MAILS? 371 00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,559 [IDA] YEAH. 372 00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:09,952 OKAY, JUST TO GET THIS STRAIGHT, THOUGH, I'M SORRY. 373 00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,954 YOU STILL HAVE NOT FILED FOR DIVORCE AFTER THIS? 374 00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,782 I'M NOT SURE THAT I WANT TO THROW AWAY 375 00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,392 FOUR YEARS OF MARRIAGE OVER ONE LITTLE MISTAKE. 376 00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,307 THIS SEEMS LIKE MORE THAN ONE MISTAKE. 377 00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:18,961 THIS READS LIKE A COPY OF PENTHOUSE FORUM. 378 00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,484 -THIS IS CRAZY. -NO, IT DOESN'T COUNT, 379 00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:22,225 'CAUSE WE WERE ALREADY SEPARATED, 380 00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:24,053 AND HE DOES THAT STUFF TO MAKE ME JEALOUS. 381 00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:25,707 I MEAN, MOST OF IT ISN'T EVEN TRUE. 382 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,752 COME ON. YOU DON'T ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT. 383 00:15:27,796 --> 00:15:29,972 I MEAN, THE GUY HIT ON ME ONE TIME. 384 00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:32,975 WHAT GUY HASN'T DRUNKENLY HIT ON HIS WIFE'S SISTER? 385 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:33,976 OH. 386 00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:36,065 SO THAT WAS THE MISTAKE? 387 00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:38,111 NO, IT WASN'T THAT EITHER, 388 00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,721 BUT IT'S NOT ALL JAKE'S FAULT. 389 00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:40,722 I MEAN, HE HAS REASONS. 390 00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:42,637 THE MAN IS A WALKING ERECTION. 391 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,465 [WILL] SO WAIT A MINUTE. THIS HAS GOT TO BE 392 00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,641 THE ONE MISTAKE IF YOU LOOK AT THIS. 393 00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:48,121 THIS IS ACTUALLY JUST IMPRESSIVE. I MEAN, 394 00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:50,036 HE MIGHT BE A SCUMBAG, BUT THIS IS IMPRESSIVE. 395 00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:51,994 [CLARK] IS THAT EVEN PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE? WHAT ABOUT-- 396 00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:54,301 YOU COULD DO THIS. I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS IN PERSON, BUT YOU COULD DO THIS. 397 00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:57,347 NO, I HAD A MISCARRIAGE, AND THEN HE SLEPT WITH MY BOSS. 398 00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:58,435 [WILL] WHAT? 399 00:15:58,479 --> 00:15:59,654 THAT IS TERRIBLE. 400 00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:01,699 -I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THAT. -SO SORRY. JEEZ. 401 00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:03,005 I KNOW. SHE'S NOT EVEN HOT. 402 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,354 SHE HAS THESE REALLY WEIRD, 403 00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:06,052 LIKE, FLABBY ARMS. THEY'RE VERY-- 404 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,445 RIGHT, BECAUSE THAT'S THE IMPORTANT PART OF THE STORY. 405 00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:10,012 AND THEN AFTER SCREWING MY HUSBAND, 406 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,058 FLABBY ARMS CALLS ME INTO HER OFFICE AND IS, LIKE, 407 00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:13,842 "YOU SHOULD MAYBE CONSIDERING TRANSFERRING OUT, 408 00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:16,018 BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT ANY UNNECESSARY TENSION IN THE WORKPLACE." 409 00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:18,020 WHAT A BITCH. 410 00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:19,239 NO OFFENSE. SORRY, LADIES. 411 00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:20,501 OH, PLEASE. 412 00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:21,719 WE'VE CALLED HER WAY WORSE THINGS THAN THAT. 413 00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:22,851 SO THEN WHAT'D YOU DO? 414 00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,374 DID YOU DRAG HER ASS TO COURT? 415 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:25,941 DID I HAVE A CASE FOR THAT? 416 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,856 PROBABLY NOT. 417 00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:28,944 HE JUST LIKES TO REMIND EVERYONE HE'S AN ATTORNEY EVERY FIVE MINUTES. 418 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,511 SHE DIDN'T TRY TO DO ANYTHING. 419 00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:32,948 SHE JUST QUIT HER JOB, LEFT THE CONDO, 420 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,255 DROVE TO OUR ALCOHOLIC MOTHER'S HOUSE IN PALM DESERT, 421 00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:36,778 AND STARTED DRINKING. 422 00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:39,694 I NEEDED TIME TO FIGURE OUT MY NEXT MOVE. 423 00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:41,304 WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST THROW HIS ASS OUT? 424 00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:42,392 THAT'S WHAT I SAID, 425 00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:43,611 ESPECIALLY BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONE 426 00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:45,221 WHO PUT THE DOWN PAYMENT ON THE PLACE, 427 00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:46,875 AND HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A REAL JOB. 428 00:16:46,918 --> 00:16:48,485 OKAY, HE HAS A JOB. 429 00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:49,878 SO HE'S A WRITER. 430 00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:51,271 HE'S AN ACTOR. 431 00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,360 HE'S AN ACTOR. AH. 432 00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:54,883 CLARK'S EX IS A THESPIAN. 433 00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:57,059 WELL, THEATER STUFF MOSTLY. 434 00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,582 MM, PEANUT BUTTER COMMERCIALS MOSTLY. 435 00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,193 COMMUNITY THEATER ONCE. I MEAN... 436 00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:02,325 WAIT, NOT THE PEANUT BUTTER COMMERCIAL-- 437 00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:03,500 -YES. - THE RED HAIR? 438 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:04,675 -THE SERIES OF-- YEAH. -YES. 439 00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:06,068 CAN I ASK YOU HOW YOU KNEW? 440 00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,809 LIKE, WHEN IT WAS COMPLETELY OVER, 441 00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:09,680 THAT THERE WAS NO CHANCE OF GETTING BACK TOGETHER 442 00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:11,291 AND THAT YOU HAD TO FILE FOR DIVORCE? 443 00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:14,772 WELL, IN MY CASE, THERE WAS NEVER REALLY A QUESTION. 444 00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:17,775 SHE CAME OUT AND TOLD ME SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE 445 00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:20,517 AND THEY'VE MOVING TO A BED-AND-BREAKFAST IN MENDOCINO. 446 00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,650 [IDA] AND YOU DIDN'T TRY TO CHANGE HER MIND? 447 00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:24,913 NO, I TOLD YOU YOU ALWAYS TELL THE STORY WRONG. 448 00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:27,916 SHE "CAME OUT" AND TOLD HIM SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE. 449 00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:29,178 [CLARK] OKAY. 450 00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:31,746 -OH. -OH. 451 00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:33,095 SOMEONE WITH A VAGINA... 452 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,053 [CLARK] ALL RIGHT, THEY GET THE POINT. 453 00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:35,402 BECAUSE SHE IS A LESBIAN. 454 00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:36,403 [ALISON] OKAY. [CLARK] YEAH, YOU'RE A JERK. 455 00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:38,231 YOU KIND OF ARE A JERK. 456 00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:40,189 WHAT I WASN'T EXPECTING IS THAT SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE THE KIDS. 457 00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:41,364 THAT'S BEEN A REAL-- 458 00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:42,322 SHE'S PRETENDING THEY DON'T EXIST. 459 00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:44,585 BITCH. NO OFFENSE. 460 00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:45,716 WE'VE CALLED HER WORSE. 461 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,457 I HAVEN'T. I MEAN, 462 00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:49,068 SHE'S OBVIOUSLY GOING THROUGH SOMETHING. 463 00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:51,505 SHE'S TRYING TO FIND HERSELF. 464 00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:55,465 WAIT. IS ANYONE ELSE REALIZING JUST HOW WEIRD THIS IS? 465 00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:56,510 [CLARK] WHAT? 466 00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,816 MARRIED. MARRIED. 467 00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,122 DIVORCED. 468 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,471 -SOON TO BE DIVORCED. -MAYBE. 469 00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:03,343 CHEATING ACTRESS WIFE. CHEATING ACTOR HUSBAND. 470 00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:04,779 YOGA PANTS. SWEATPANTS. 471 00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:07,390 LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS. 472 00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:08,348 [ CLARK] ALL RIGHT, 473 00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:09,262 LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS. 474 00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:13,004 LAME TASTE IN BARS. 475 00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:14,658 STILL SHOPS AT FOREVER 21. 476 00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:17,618 HAS SHOPPED AT ABERCROMBIE & FITCH EVER SINCE COLLEGE. 477 00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:20,795 OH, GOD, I HATE THAT PERFUME MIST THEY JUST SPRAY IN THERE. 478 00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:22,536 HE LOVES IT. HE PUTS THAT ON. 479 00:18:22,579 --> 00:18:24,799 -MARRIED A LESBIAN. -WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? 480 00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:25,800 I WAS JUMPING-- 481 00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:28,237 OOH, I KNOW. MARRIED A LESBIAN. 482 00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:29,586 PROBABLY A LESBIAN. 483 00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:31,588 I AM NOT A LESBIAN. 484 00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:33,155 ALWAYS HAD MY DOUBTS. 485 00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:36,463 OKAY, JUST BECAUSE I AM NOT DRIVEN BY GETTING LAID, 486 00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:38,552 THAT DOES NOT MAKE ME A LESBIAN. 487 00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:40,119 MAYBE YOU'RE JUST FRIGID. 488 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:42,077 [CLARK] WHOA. 489 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,688 WOW. OKAY, GUY THAT I JUST MET AT A BAR WHO DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME, 490 00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:46,212 I AM NOT FRIGID. 491 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,127 NO, IT'S OKAY. I MEAN, HE'S THE SAME WAY. 492 00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:49,258 NO. NO. 493 00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:50,912 [WILL] YOU SAID YOU WOULD RATHER 494 00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:52,087 EAT A CLUB SANDWICH THAN SLEEP WITH A VICTORIA SECRET MODEL. 495 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,741 YOU'VE TAKEN THIS COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTEXT. 496 00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,308 I DON'T THINK THAT THAT'S A WEIRD THING TO SAY. 497 00:18:55,351 --> 00:18:57,397 I THINK I UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM. 498 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,615 ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT. 499 00:18:58,659 --> 00:18:59,747 THIS IS A LITTLE EERIE. 500 00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,227 I THINK IT'S MORE THAN EERIE. 501 00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:02,576 I THINK YOU GUYS ARE LIKE THE BIZARRO VERSION OF US. 502 00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:05,753 MAYBE YOU'RE LIKE... 503 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,624 [TOGETHER] THE BIZARRO VERSION OF US. 504 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:12,542 WHAT KIND OF BAR CLOSES AT 10:00? 505 00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:15,197 FINE. I ADMIT IT. MY BAR SUCKS. 506 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,591 AH, WE COULD ALWAYS GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. 507 00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:18,940 SAYS THE PERSON WHO DOESN'T 508 00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:20,159 HAVE TO GET UP AT 6:00 IN THE MORNING. 509 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,899 OH, JUST ONE MORE DRINK. 510 00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:23,336 I THINK ONE MORE DRINK SOUNDS GOOD. 511 00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:25,468 YEAH? 512 00:19:25,512 --> 00:19:26,991 -YEAH? -ALL RIGHT. 513 00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,036 IT'S RIGHT OVER HERE. 514 00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:33,607 AHHH, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST TAKE MY CAR. 515 00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:37,567 [WILL] DOES YOUR CAR HAVE FREE GASOLINE 516 00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,003 AND ALL THE BOOZE YOU CAN DRINK? 517 00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:40,396 OH, WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY, 518 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,617 THAT PHALLIC MONSTROSITY KIND OF SOUNDS MAGICAL. 519 00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,053 ALI? 520 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,624 [ROCK 'N' ROLL PLAYING] 521 00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:43,546 OW. OW. 522 00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:45,069 -I'M SORRY. -OW. 523 00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:07,135 [MUSIC STOPS] 524 00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:09,224 IT ALWAYS LOOKS SO FUN IN THE MOVIES. 525 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,095 I'M PRETTY SURE I JUST ATE A FLY. 526 00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:12,706 MAYBE WE'RE TOO OLD TO HAVE FUN. 527 00:21:12,749 --> 00:21:13,750 WHO YOU CALLING OLD, BUDDY? 528 00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:16,840 OH, I'M SORRY. MATURE. 529 00:21:16,884 --> 00:21:18,059 MM... 530 00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:19,713 WOULD YOU RATHER ME CALL YOU IMMATURE? 531 00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:21,149 YOU MIGHT WANT TO JUST STOP TALKING. 532 00:21:21,192 --> 00:21:23,369 -MM. MM-HMM. - AND I HAVE TO SAY 533 00:21:23,412 --> 00:21:26,328 I TAKE OFFENSE AT THIS WHOLE LINE OF REASONING. I'M STILL FUN, 534 00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:28,896 AND I'M YOUNG. OKAY, WELL, AT LEAST I'M NOT OLD. 535 00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:30,985 "AND YOU LADIES, YOU SEEM LIKE YOU'RE FUN," 536 00:21:31,028 --> 00:21:33,292 HE SAID IN THE LEAST CREEPY WAY POSSIBLE. 537 00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:35,250 [LAUGHS] I AM FUN. 538 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,382 YEAH, IF BY FUN, 539 00:21:36,425 --> 00:21:38,775 YOU MEAN A BITTER, WEEPY MESS. 540 00:21:38,819 --> 00:21:41,474 ALL RIGHT, WELL, I USED TO BE FUN, RIGHT? 541 00:21:41,517 --> 00:21:42,605 SO MUCH FUN. 542 00:21:42,649 --> 00:21:44,346 BUT EVEN I USED TO BE FUN. 543 00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:46,696 HEY, NOT AS RECENTLY AS YOU, 544 00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:49,351 BUT BACK IN MY HEYDAY. I WAS-- 545 00:21:49,395 --> 00:21:50,831 -I WAS NEVER FUN. - THAT'S NOT TRUE. 546 00:21:50,874 --> 00:21:53,094 YOU USED TO HAVE THIS WEIRD, FREAKISH LAUGH 547 00:21:53,137 --> 00:21:54,922 WHENEVER YOU HAD FUN. 548 00:21:54,965 --> 00:21:57,316 USED TO DRIVE ME CRAZY. 549 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:57,968 ME? 550 00:21:58,012 --> 00:21:59,230 [WILL] YEAH. 551 00:21:59,274 --> 00:22:00,493 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 552 00:22:00,536 --> 00:22:01,407 I'M SERIOUS. THINK OF A TIME IN YOUR LIFE 553 00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:02,451 WHEN YOU HAD A LOT OF FUN. 554 00:22:03,496 --> 00:22:04,714 I'LL GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE. 555 00:22:04,758 --> 00:22:06,281 FOR ME, I'D SAY... 556 00:22:07,674 --> 00:22:09,023 WHEN I GRADUATED FROM LAW SCHOOL. 557 00:22:09,066 --> 00:22:10,459 I SHOULD MENTION AT THIS POINT THAT HE'S A LAWYER. 558 00:22:10,503 --> 00:22:12,374 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS PICKED THAT UP. 559 00:22:12,418 --> 00:22:15,072 NO, NO, I'M SERIOUS. I'M SERIOUS. I'M UP THERE 560 00:22:15,116 --> 00:22:17,292 IN THIS GOOFY PURPLE, YOU KNOW, CAP AND GOWN, 561 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:20,208 AND I JUST-- I REMEMBER STANDING UP THERE, 562 00:22:20,251 --> 00:22:24,038 FEELING, LIKE, REALLY FULL OF HOPE, YOU KNOW? 563 00:22:24,081 --> 00:22:27,084 AND DIDN'T LAST, BUT-- 564 00:22:27,128 --> 00:22:28,695 BUT YEAH. 565 00:22:28,738 --> 00:22:29,870 FELT GOOD. 566 00:22:29,913 --> 00:22:32,742 MINE'S A CLICHE, 567 00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:33,830 BUT IT'S TRUE. 568 00:22:35,266 --> 00:22:38,444 WHEN MY-- WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN. 569 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,839 THE FIRST TIME I SAW HER. 570 00:22:42,883 --> 00:22:45,407 OUR DAUGHTER'S BIRTH WAS A VERY UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE FOR ME. 571 00:22:45,451 --> 00:22:47,366 HE VOMITED ALL OVER THE DELIVERY ROOM. 572 00:22:47,409 --> 00:22:50,369 I WAS NOT TOLD THAT THE WOMAN DEFECATES 573 00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:51,370 WHILE THE BABY'S COMING OUT. 574 00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:52,501 REALLY? 575 00:22:52,545 --> 00:22:53,720 YEAH. 576 00:22:53,763 --> 00:22:56,244 MINE WAS DEFINITELY LOSING MY VIRGINITY. 577 00:22:56,287 --> 00:22:57,767 NOT ME. 578 00:22:57,811 --> 00:23:00,727 ME NEITHER. I DON'T THINK SHE HAD A GREAT TIME EITHER. 579 00:23:00,770 --> 00:23:02,598 I THREW UP ON THE POOR, UNFORTUNATE WOMAN 580 00:23:02,642 --> 00:23:05,035 ABOUT HALFWAY THROUGH. 581 00:23:05,079 --> 00:23:06,515 WE'D BEEN DRINKING, AND-- YEAH. 582 00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:08,082 SO YOU DO A LOT OF HURLING. 583 00:23:08,125 --> 00:23:09,779 OH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. 584 00:23:09,823 --> 00:23:12,608 DO NOT SIT NEXT TO THIS MAN ON A BOAT OR A CARNIVAL RIDE. 585 00:23:12,652 --> 00:23:13,653 YEAH, A REGULAR SEAT, EVEN. 586 00:23:13,696 --> 00:23:15,132 I HAVE A VERY WEAK STOMACH. 587 00:23:15,176 --> 00:23:17,483 HE ONCE BARFED... 588 00:23:17,526 --> 00:23:19,398 IN SCUBA GEAR. 589 00:23:21,617 --> 00:23:22,618 WHAT ABOUT YOU? 590 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:24,751 YEAH, I'VE HAD FUN, I GUESS. 591 00:23:24,794 --> 00:23:27,928 I MEAN, YOU KNOW-- WELL, YOU REMEMBER HIGH SCHOOL, 592 00:23:27,971 --> 00:23:29,451 WHEN WE SKIPPED CLASSES THAT TIME 593 00:23:29,495 --> 00:23:30,409 AND YOU GOT REEFER. 594 00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:32,236 -REEFER? -WE GOT REEFER? 595 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,455 NOBODY CALLS IT THAT. 596 00:23:33,499 --> 00:23:34,630 I DON'T KNOW. IT WAS YOU, 597 00:23:34,674 --> 00:23:35,936 ME, AND RHONDA 598 00:23:35,979 --> 00:23:38,025 AND THE GIRL WITH THE LEG BRACES, 599 00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:39,592 SUE, I THINK HER NAME WAS. 600 00:23:39,635 --> 00:23:40,984 OH, YEAH. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 601 00:23:41,028 --> 00:23:41,855 [CLARK] REALLY? 602 00:23:41,898 --> 00:23:43,073 WHO THE HELL IS RHONDA? 603 00:23:43,117 --> 00:23:45,032 MAYBE IT WAS MEMORABLE TO ME AND NOT YOU. 604 00:23:45,075 --> 00:23:46,250 I MEAN, WE DIDN'T DO MUCH, 605 00:23:46,294 --> 00:23:47,556 I GUESS, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT. 606 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,645 WE DIDN'T, LIKE, KISS THE GIRLS OR ANYTHING. 607 00:23:49,689 --> 00:23:53,823 WE JUST HUNG OUT, AND WE SMOKED MARIJUANA 608 00:23:53,867 --> 00:23:55,869 AND JUST SWAM IN THE OCEAN, 609 00:23:55,912 --> 00:23:58,045 AND IT WAS... 610 00:23:59,394 --> 00:24:00,395 YEAH. 611 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:01,788 THAT WAS PROBABLY THE MOST FUN 612 00:24:01,831 --> 00:24:03,006 I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. 613 00:24:03,050 --> 00:24:05,052 WOW, MAN, THAT'S REALLY SAD. 614 00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:07,054 [CLARK] YEAH, IT IS REALLY SAD. 615 00:24:07,097 --> 00:24:08,098 I WANT TO DO IT. 616 00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:11,493 YOU WANT TO SMOKE POT? 617 00:24:11,537 --> 00:24:13,800 -MM-HMM. -SWIM IN THE OCEAN? 618 00:24:13,843 --> 00:24:15,584 OH, IT'S NOT-- YOU CAN'T EVER RECREATE THOSE THINGS. IT'S NOT GONNA BE THE WAY IT WAS. 619 00:24:15,628 --> 00:24:17,020 OF COURSE IT'S NOT GONNA BE THE SAME, 620 00:24:17,064 --> 00:24:18,761 BUT IT BEATS DRIVING AROUND IN THIS THING ALL NIGHT. 621 00:24:20,067 --> 00:24:21,068 I'M IN. 622 00:24:21,547 --> 00:24:22,461 OKAY, ME, TOO. 623 00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:23,723 OKAY. 624 00:24:25,594 --> 00:24:26,465 LET'S DO IT. 625 00:24:29,772 --> 00:24:31,339 OKAY. 626 00:24:31,382 --> 00:24:33,907 YOU KNOW, WE COULD HAVE GONE TO A GAS STATION. 627 00:24:33,950 --> 00:24:34,908 NO. 628 00:24:36,039 --> 00:24:37,258 GAS STATION BATHROOMS ARE SO SKANKY. 629 00:24:38,564 --> 00:24:40,435 [IDA] HEY, CAN I BUM ONE OF THOSE? 630 00:24:44,570 --> 00:24:46,049 -ME, TOO? -REALLY? 631 00:24:46,093 --> 00:24:47,486 YEAH, REALLY? YOU CAN'T AFFORD YOUR OWN? 632 00:24:48,661 --> 00:24:50,401 I'LL BUY YOU A PACK AT THE NEXT GAS STATION. 633 00:24:50,445 --> 00:24:53,100 YEP. JUST DON'T SMOKE IN THE CAR. 634 00:24:53,143 --> 00:24:54,623 [IDA] YOU WANT-- YOU WANT A LIGHTER? 635 00:24:55,842 --> 00:24:58,322 [LIGHTER FLICKS] 636 00:24:58,366 --> 00:24:59,802 -THAT IS SO GOOD. -SO GOOD. 637 00:24:59,846 --> 00:25:01,630 THAT'S NOT WHAT YOUR LUNGS ARE SAYING. 638 00:25:01,674 --> 00:25:03,197 NO, THEY'RE SAYING, 639 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,372 "WHEN DID THE SURGEON GENERAL START WEARING SWEATPANTS?" 640 00:25:04,894 --> 00:25:05,895 SO WHERE ARE WE GETTING THE POT? 641 00:25:08,332 --> 00:25:09,682 WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME? 642 00:25:09,725 --> 00:25:10,770 'CAUSE YOU ALWAYS USED TO HAVE THAT LITTLE STASH. 643 00:25:10,813 --> 00:25:12,772 I THREW IT OUT WHEN SARA WAS BORN. 644 00:25:12,815 --> 00:25:14,295 [WILL] WHAT ABOUT THAT KID IN YOUR CLASS 645 00:25:14,338 --> 00:25:16,166 USED TO OFFER YOU POT IN EXCHANGE FOR A BETTER GRADE? 646 00:25:16,210 --> 00:25:18,691 WANT ME TO CALL UP A STUDENT AT 11:00 AT NIGHT 647 00:25:18,734 --> 00:25:21,911 AND BARTER HIGHER GRADES FOR MARIJUANA? 648 00:25:22,782 --> 00:25:23,565 YOU COULD TEXT HIM. 649 00:25:23,609 --> 00:25:24,697 ARE YOU A TEACHER? 650 00:25:24,740 --> 00:25:26,220 [CLARK] YEAH, HIGH SCHOOL ENGLISH. 651 00:25:26,263 --> 00:25:27,221 OH, WHERE? 652 00:25:27,264 --> 00:25:28,788 WESTSIDE PREPARATORY ACADEMY. 653 00:25:28,831 --> 00:25:30,485 [ALISON] PRESTIGIOUS. 654 00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:32,922 I USED TO-- I USED TO TEACH HISTORY AT COOLIDGE. 655 00:25:32,966 --> 00:25:34,576 OH, I KNOW THAT VERY WELL. 656 00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:35,925 THEY HAVE AN EXCELLENT A.P. PROGRAM. 657 00:25:35,969 --> 00:25:37,579 YEAH, IT IS A REALLY GOOD A.P. PROGRAM. 658 00:25:37,623 --> 00:25:38,841 WHERE ARE WE GETTING THE POT? 659 00:25:38,885 --> 00:25:40,190 WHY DON'T WE ASK JAKE? 660 00:25:40,234 --> 00:25:42,715 ONE OF HIS MANY FANTASTIC CHARACTERISTICS, 661 00:25:42,758 --> 00:25:44,673 HER SOON-TO-BE EX-HUSBAND 662 00:25:44,717 --> 00:25:46,893 IS ALSO A PART-TIME DRUG DEALER. 663 00:25:46,936 --> 00:25:48,851 NO, HE'S NOT A DRUG DEALER. 664 00:25:48,895 --> 00:25:51,201 HE SOLD A LITTLE BIT OF POT TO SOME ACTING CLASS BUDDIES, LIKE, YEARS AGO. 665 00:25:51,245 --> 00:25:53,160 [ALISON] HE ALWAYS HAS DRUGS AROUND. 666 00:25:53,203 --> 00:25:54,901 -THAT'S A CATCH. - ...PART OF HIS COOL-GUY SHTICK. 667 00:25:54,944 --> 00:25:57,468 IT'S NOT A SHTICK. HE'S GENUINELY VERY COOL. 668 00:25:57,512 --> 00:25:59,296 GREAT. WELL, THEN, MAYBE HE'LL GIVE DRUGS TO US. 669 00:25:59,340 --> 00:26:02,038 NO, WE'RE NOT GETTING DRUGS FROM THAT LOSER, OKAY? 670 00:26:02,082 --> 00:26:04,084 AND I THINK WE'RE BEING A LITTLE CONVOLUTED ABOUT THIS. 671 00:26:04,127 --> 00:26:06,129 THERE ARE TONS OF MARIJUANA DISPENSARIES 672 00:26:06,173 --> 00:26:07,348 ALL OVER THE CITY. 673 00:26:07,391 --> 00:26:08,828 WE NEED A PRESCRIPTION FOR THAT, THOUGH. 674 00:26:08,871 --> 00:26:12,527 OKAY. GREAT. GOT IT. 675 00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:13,528 [WILL] YOU'RE A DOCTOR? 676 00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:15,051 PEDIATRIC SURGEON. 677 00:26:15,095 --> 00:26:16,487 OH, YOU THOUGHT I WAS JUST SOME DUMB BLONDE? 678 00:26:18,141 --> 00:26:19,882 -NO. [ALISON] DON'T WORRY. IT'S WHAT SHE'S GOING FOR. 679 00:26:19,926 --> 00:26:21,014 [IDA] CAN WE NOT RIGHT NOW? [ALISON] SHE THINKS THAT MEN 680 00:26:21,057 --> 00:26:22,232 ARE INTIMIDATED BY INTELLIGENT WOMEN, 681 00:26:22,276 --> 00:26:23,625 AND SO SHE PLAYS DUMB, 682 00:26:23,669 --> 00:26:25,584 AND SHE'S DONE IT OUR WHOLE LIVES, 683 00:26:25,627 --> 00:26:26,976 EVER SINCE WE WERE KIDS. 684 00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:28,630 OKAY, WHAT MY SISTER CAN'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND 685 00:26:28,674 --> 00:26:30,153 IS THAT I LIKE TO DRESS SEXY. 686 00:26:30,197 --> 00:26:31,981 I LIKE MY BODY. I FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT. 687 00:26:32,025 --> 00:26:34,593 I DON'T DO IT TO SEEK THE APPROVAL OF MEN. 688 00:26:34,636 --> 00:26:35,289 [CHUCKLES] 689 00:26:35,332 --> 00:26:35,768 [ALISON] WHAT? 690 00:26:35,811 --> 00:26:37,160 NOTHING. 691 00:26:37,204 --> 00:26:39,162 CAN WE ALL JUST BE QUIET, SO I CAN FOCUS, PLEASE? 692 00:26:39,206 --> 00:26:41,034 WAIT . CAN A PEDIATRICIAN EVEN WRITE A PRESCRIPTION FOR MARIJUANA? 693 00:26:41,077 --> 00:26:43,427 IT'S A POT SHOP. I MEAN... 694 00:26:43,471 --> 00:26:45,299 HOW RIGOROUS ARE THEY GONNA BE? 695 00:26:47,954 --> 00:26:49,782 -YEAH. -I ACTUALLY HAVE NO IDEA 696 00:26:49,825 --> 00:26:51,435 HOW POT SHOPS WORK, SO I DON'T KNOW. 697 00:26:51,479 --> 00:26:52,785 I.D. 698 00:26:52,828 --> 00:26:54,525 YEAH. 699 00:26:57,006 --> 00:26:58,225 TAKE IT OUT? 700 00:26:58,268 --> 00:26:59,443 YEAH, I'D PREFER IF YOU TOOK IT OUT. THANKS. 701 00:27:05,014 --> 00:27:06,799 THE GENERIC OKAY? 702 00:27:06,842 --> 00:27:08,148 YEAH. 703 00:27:08,191 --> 00:27:09,192 OKAY. 704 00:27:09,236 --> 00:27:10,672 ONE QUICK QUESTION. 705 00:27:10,716 --> 00:27:12,848 DID A REAL DOCTOR WRITE THIS? 706 00:27:12,892 --> 00:27:15,851 OF COURSE A REAL DOCTOR WROTE THAT. 707 00:27:15,895 --> 00:27:18,071 BECAUSE THE HANDWRITING IS TERRIBLE. 708 00:27:18,114 --> 00:27:20,464 WELL, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT A PHYSICIAN'S SKILLS 709 00:27:20,508 --> 00:27:23,119 ARE INVERSELY PROPORTIONAL TO HOW BAD HER HANDWRITING IS, 710 00:27:23,163 --> 00:27:24,164 THAT'S RIGHT. 711 00:27:24,207 --> 00:27:25,165 SHE MUST BE AN AMAZING PHYSICIAN. 712 00:27:25,208 --> 00:27:26,383 SHE'S THE BEST. 713 00:27:26,427 --> 00:27:27,776 THE BEST. 714 00:27:27,820 --> 00:27:29,691 SPELLED YOUR NAME WRONG, THOUGH. 715 00:27:29,735 --> 00:27:32,563 OH, NO, SHE-- SEE, SHE CROSSED IT OUT, 716 00:27:32,607 --> 00:27:34,174 AND THEN SHE GOT IT RIGHT UNDER THERE. 717 00:27:34,217 --> 00:27:35,218 SHE GOT IT RIGHT THE SECOND TIME. 718 00:27:36,829 --> 00:27:39,788 WEIRD THING. DON'T PEDIATRICIANS USUALLY ONLY TREAT CHILDREN? 719 00:27:39,832 --> 00:27:41,050 MM, PEDIATRIC SURGEON. 720 00:27:42,399 --> 00:27:43,444 SAME THING. 721 00:27:43,487 --> 00:27:44,575 NO, IT'S NOT REALLY THE SAME THING. 722 00:27:44,619 --> 00:27:46,490 SHE'S MY DOCTOR. SHE'S TREATING ME 723 00:27:46,534 --> 00:27:48,928 BECAUSE I'M EMOTIONALLY A CHILD. 724 00:27:48,971 --> 00:27:50,277 AN INFANT. HE'S EMOTIONALLY AN INFANT. 725 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:51,974 -I'M STUNTED. -IS VERY STUNTED. 726 00:27:52,018 --> 00:27:53,541 SOUNDS COMPLEX. 727 00:27:53,584 --> 00:27:55,195 LOOK, I'M NOT TRYING TO BE A DICK HERE, GUYS, 728 00:27:55,238 --> 00:27:57,327 BUT WE'VE BEEN INVESTIGATED LATELY BY THE STATE. 729 00:27:57,371 --> 00:28:00,113 THEY'VE BEEN SENDING IN A LOT OF UNDERCOVER COPS 730 00:28:00,156 --> 00:28:01,331 TO HARASS US. 731 00:28:01,375 --> 00:28:02,376 THAT'S TERRIBLE. 732 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,031 YEAH, IT'S TERRIBLE. 733 00:28:05,074 --> 00:28:07,424 YOU DON'T-- YOU DON'T THINK WE'RE COPS, DO YOU? 734 00:28:07,468 --> 00:28:10,166 NO. WE'RE NOT-- WE'RE NOT POLICE OFFICERS. 735 00:28:10,210 --> 00:28:12,212 LOOK, MAYBE YOU ARE, MAYBE YOU AREN'T, 736 00:28:12,255 --> 00:28:13,866 BUT ANY LAW OFFICER WOULD UNDERSTAND THAT WE'RE 737 00:28:13,909 --> 00:28:16,390 A LICENSED DISPENSARY, A MEDICAL FACILITY, 738 00:28:16,433 --> 00:28:19,045 THAT CANNOT SELL TO SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN DRINKING. 739 00:28:19,088 --> 00:28:22,178 NO, HE'S NOT DRUNK. HE'S JUST ACTING THIS WAY BECAUSE OF THE PAIN. 740 00:28:22,222 --> 00:28:23,702 -WHAT-- - IN HIS BACK, 741 00:28:23,745 --> 00:28:25,094 WHICH IS WHY HE NEEDS A MARIJUANA PRESCRIPTION. 742 00:28:25,138 --> 00:28:28,054 [GROANS] I'VE GOT PAIN IN MY BACK, 743 00:28:28,097 --> 00:28:32,493 AND I GOT A PRESCRIPTION FROM MY PEDIATRIC SURGEON TO TREAT THE PAIN. 744 00:28:32,536 --> 00:28:34,408 I'M LOVING THE SHOW HERE, OFFICERS, 745 00:28:34,451 --> 00:28:36,671 BUT AS YOU CAN SEE, WE'RE VERY BUSY, SO I'D LIKE TO GET BACK TO WORK. 746 00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:37,890 WE'RE NOT COPS. 747 00:28:37,933 --> 00:28:39,630 [EMPLOYEE] DENYING THAT YOU'RE A COP 748 00:28:39,674 --> 00:28:40,675 IS THE FIRST THING THAT COPS DO, OKAY? I KNOW MY RIGHTS, SO... 749 00:28:40,719 --> 00:28:43,330 -WOULD A COP DO THIS? -OH. 750 00:28:43,373 --> 00:28:45,071 NOT-- MAYBE IN A PORNO. 751 00:28:45,114 --> 00:28:46,420 -I DON'T THINK THAT'S REALLY-- -YEAH, I KNOW. 752 00:28:46,463 --> 00:28:48,944 SO WHY DON'T WE JUST FILL THE PRESCRIPTION? 753 00:28:48,988 --> 00:28:51,120 -CAN YOU DO THAT AGAIN? -YEAH, NO. 754 00:28:51,164 --> 00:28:53,166 I COULD MAYBE-- I COULD KICK YOU IN THE TESTICLES. 755 00:28:54,297 --> 00:28:55,559 COULD DO THAT. 756 00:28:55,603 --> 00:28:56,473 I'LL CALL IT IN. 757 00:28:56,517 --> 00:28:57,997 YEAH. THAT'S A GOOD CHOICE. 758 00:29:00,826 --> 00:29:02,131 WHAT ARE YOU-- I MEAN-- 759 00:29:02,175 --> 00:29:03,002 [IDA] GETTING YOU A PRESCRIPTION. 760 00:29:03,045 --> 00:29:04,525 YOU'RE GONNA GET ME ARRESTED. 761 00:29:04,568 --> 00:29:05,918 -OH, REALLY? -HE'S GOT MY I.D. 762 00:29:05,961 --> 00:29:07,223 THAT'S GONNA GET YOU ARRESTED? 763 00:29:07,267 --> 00:29:08,442 -HE'S SEEN MY I.D. -YOU'RE FINE. 764 00:29:08,485 --> 00:29:10,096 AND THEY'RE CLOSED. 765 00:29:11,706 --> 00:29:13,229 YOU WANT TO CALL HER EMERGENCY NUMBER? 766 00:29:13,273 --> 00:29:15,318 NO. IT'S VERY LATE. 767 00:29:15,362 --> 00:29:17,364 I TOLD YOU SHE'S REALLY COMMITTED TO HER PATIENTS. 768 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:19,975 [EMPLOYEE] OKAY. SURE. 769 00:29:21,629 --> 00:29:23,022 I-I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 770 00:29:23,065 --> 00:29:24,545 OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. 771 00:29:24,588 --> 00:29:26,329 -I'M GONNA GO OUTSIDE. -YOU'RE GONNA-- 772 00:29:26,373 --> 00:29:28,549 I THINK YOU'LL BE OKAY, LAWYER. 773 00:29:28,592 --> 00:29:30,420 -YOU'RE GONNA GO OUTSIDE? -YOU'RE A LAWYER, AREN'T YOU? 774 00:29:31,639 --> 00:29:33,641 IT'S A SERVICE. THEY'RE PATCHING ME THOUGH. 775 00:29:35,338 --> 00:29:37,210 YOU FROM THE AREA? 776 00:29:37,253 --> 00:29:39,038 FROM RIGHT-- OKAY. 777 00:29:39,081 --> 00:29:40,300 [EMPLOYEE] HI. YEAH, THIS-- 778 00:29:40,343 --> 00:29:42,606 OKAY, YOU WERE JUST IN HERE. 779 00:29:42,650 --> 00:29:44,434 YOU DON'T NEED TO DISGUISE YOUR VOICE. 780 00:29:44,478 --> 00:29:47,263 YEAH. OKAY, BOOB LADY, I KNOW IT'S YOU. 781 00:29:48,917 --> 00:29:51,050 OKAY, I CAN SEE YOU STANDING OUTSIDE. 782 00:29:51,093 --> 00:29:54,053 YEAH, THAT'S A CAMERA. 783 00:29:54,096 --> 00:29:56,142 OKAY. THANKS. 784 00:29:57,796 --> 00:29:59,362 SHE WANTS YOU TO GO OUTSIDE. 785 00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:12,071 [ALISON] I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU FLASHED A TOTAL STRANGER. 786 00:30:12,114 --> 00:30:13,855 [WILL] I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FLASHED HIM 787 00:30:13,899 --> 00:30:15,683 AND THEN HE STILL WOULDN'T GIVE US THE POT. 788 00:30:15,726 --> 00:30:18,033 I THINK I'M LOSING MY TOUCH. 789 00:30:18,077 --> 00:30:20,035 NOT FROM WHERE I WAS STANDING. 790 00:30:20,079 --> 00:30:21,384 HMM. 791 00:30:21,428 --> 00:30:22,864 -THANK YOU. -OH, RIGHT, 792 00:30:22,908 --> 00:30:25,127 BUT YOU'RE NOT SEEKING ANY MALE ATTENTION, RIGHT? 793 00:30:25,171 --> 00:30:27,042 ENOUGH, ALISON. 794 00:30:27,086 --> 00:30:28,261 I FLASHED A GUY. 795 00:30:28,304 --> 00:30:29,610 IT'S NOT LIKE I BLEW HIM. 796 00:30:29,653 --> 00:30:31,786 DON'T. DO NOT START THAT RIGHT NOW. 797 00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:33,701 START WHAT? 798 00:30:33,744 --> 00:30:34,876 IS THERE A BLOW JOB STORY HERE 799 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,747 THAT NEEDS TO BE TOLD? YOU KNOW? 800 00:30:36,791 --> 00:30:39,707 I'M, YOU KNOW, JUST ASKING FOR A FRIEND, BUT... 801 00:30:39,750 --> 00:30:42,144 HE LOVES A GOOD BLOW JOB STORY. 802 00:30:42,188 --> 00:30:42,971 YOU'RE NOT CURIOUS? 803 00:30:43,015 --> 00:30:44,233 [ALISON] OKAY, OKAY. 804 00:30:44,277 --> 00:30:47,193 FINE. YOU WANT TO KNOW THE SHOCKING TRUTH? 805 00:30:47,236 --> 00:30:48,934 I GAVE MY HUSBAND A BLOW JOB. 806 00:30:48,977 --> 00:30:50,457 OH, MY GOD. ISN'T THAT CRAZY? 807 00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:51,762 WHEN IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD 808 00:30:51,806 --> 00:30:53,547 HAS A WIFE EVER GIVEN HER HUSBAND A BLOW JOB? 809 00:30:53,590 --> 00:30:55,244 [WILL] IN MY CASE, IT'S BEEN, I THINK, 810 00:30:55,288 --> 00:30:57,507 SINCE THERE WAS A REPUBLICAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE. 811 00:30:57,551 --> 00:30:58,987 IT WASN'T A VERY FREQUENT OCCURRENCE 812 00:30:59,031 --> 00:31:01,294 AT OUR HOUSEHOLD EITHER, SHOCKINGLY ENOUGH. 813 00:31:01,337 --> 00:31:03,339 -I BLEW JAKE ALL THE TIME. -OF COURSE YOU DID. 814 00:31:03,383 --> 00:31:05,559 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 815 00:31:07,082 --> 00:31:08,301 SPEAK OF THE DIPSHIT. 816 00:31:08,344 --> 00:31:10,694 DON'T. PLEASE STOP CALLING HIM THAT. 817 00:31:10,738 --> 00:31:12,392 OKAY. 818 00:31:12,435 --> 00:31:14,437 HELLO. 819 00:31:14,481 --> 00:31:16,657 YEAH, EVERYTHING'S GREAT. 820 00:31:16,700 --> 00:31:22,402 IDA AND I ARE JUST AT A WINE BAR. 821 00:31:22,445 --> 00:31:24,839 NO, I'M NOT COMING HOME JUST 'CAUSE OUR DAUGHT-- 822 00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:27,450 WELL, I'M NOT COMING HOME BECAUSE OF THAT. 823 00:31:27,494 --> 00:31:29,191 I'M SURE SHE WANTS YOU TO S-- 824 00:31:29,235 --> 00:31:31,019 NO, I'M IN A PUBLIC PLACE RIGHT NOW. 825 00:31:31,063 --> 00:31:33,282 DON'T PUT ME ON SPEAKER. HI, SWEETIE. 826 00:31:33,326 --> 00:31:34,675 HI. 827 00:31:34,718 --> 00:31:37,025 I KNOW. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. 828 00:31:37,069 --> 00:31:38,070 GOOD JOB. 829 00:31:39,593 --> 00:31:41,595 SHH. OF COURSE I WILL. 830 00:31:43,162 --> 00:31:44,163 ♪ GOOD-BYE 831 00:31:44,206 --> 00:31:46,252 ♪ SO LONG, FAREWELL, MY POO ♪ 832 00:31:46,295 --> 00:31:48,471 ♪ GOOD-BYE, SO LONG, FAREWELL ♪ 833 00:31:48,515 --> 00:31:51,170 ♪ GOOD-BYE TO PEE-PEE, GOOD-BYE TO POO-POO ♪ 834 00:31:51,213 --> 00:31:52,736 ♪ GOOD-BYE, SO LONG, FAREWELL ♪ 835 00:31:52,780 --> 00:31:55,304 ♪ I'LL SEE YOU SOON AGAIN, MY POO ♪ 836 00:31:55,348 --> 00:31:57,654 ♪ SO GOOD-BYE, SO LONG, FAREWELL. ♪ 837 00:31:59,352 --> 00:32:02,007 I LOVE YOU, TOO, SWEETIE. 838 00:32:02,050 --> 00:32:03,008 GOOD NIGHT. 839 00:32:08,665 --> 00:32:09,928 SO WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? 840 00:32:09,971 --> 00:32:11,930 JUST SOMETHING MY DAUGHTER LIKES. 841 00:32:13,235 --> 00:32:15,368 SHE LIKES YOU TO SERENADE HER CRAP? 842 00:32:15,411 --> 00:32:16,369 DID-- I DID SOMETHING LIKE THAT 843 00:32:16,412 --> 00:32:18,501 WHEN MY KIDS WERE LITTLE, TOO. 844 00:32:18,545 --> 00:32:20,242 [ALISON] THANK YOU. 845 00:32:20,286 --> 00:32:20,939 I MEAN, NOT EXACTLY LIKE THAT. THAT WAS A LITTLE-- BUT I MEAN-- 846 00:32:20,982 --> 00:32:22,157 SHE'S FIVE. 847 00:32:22,201 --> 00:32:23,245 [ALISON] SHE'LL TIRE OF IT SOON. 848 00:32:23,289 --> 00:32:25,682 MAYBE. MAYBE. OR MAYBE YOU'LL BE 849 00:32:25,726 --> 00:32:27,162 SKYPING WITH HER WHEN SHE'S IN COLLEGE 850 00:32:27,206 --> 00:32:28,990 AND SINGING HER ROCK OPERAS TO HER BEER SHITS. 851 00:32:29,034 --> 00:32:30,861 YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T FEEL LIKE I HAVE 852 00:32:30,905 --> 00:32:33,690 TO EXPLAIN MYSELF WITH THIS, AND I FEEL-- 853 00:32:33,734 --> 00:32:35,518 I FEEL LIKE THIS NIGHT WAS A BAD IDEA, 854 00:32:35,562 --> 00:32:37,694 -AND I'D LIKE TO GO HOME NOW. -NO WAY. 855 00:32:37,738 --> 00:32:39,174 OH, COME ON. 856 00:32:39,218 --> 00:32:40,610 [IDA] IF ANYBODY IN THE HISTORY OF THE PLANET 857 00:32:40,654 --> 00:32:42,090 NEEDS A NIGHT OUT, 858 00:32:42,134 --> 00:32:44,484 IT'S THE FOUR OF US, SO YOU KNOW WHAT? 859 00:32:44,527 --> 00:32:46,660 ACTUALLY, HEY, CAN YOU TAKE US 860 00:32:46,703 --> 00:32:49,010 TO 1455 MOLINO DOWNTOWN? 861 00:32:49,054 --> 00:32:50,577 ARE YOU SURE? 862 00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:52,492 YEAH. SCREW IT. 863 00:32:52,535 --> 00:32:54,146 YEAH, SCREW IT. 864 00:32:54,189 --> 00:32:55,799 WHAT'S-- WHAT IS IT? 865 00:32:55,843 --> 00:32:57,976 [JAZZ PLAYING] 866 00:33:33,272 --> 00:33:34,534 SO YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO TAKE THE STAIRS, 867 00:33:34,577 --> 00:33:36,492 BECAUSE A CAT LADY DIED IN THE ELEVATOR, 868 00:33:36,536 --> 00:33:38,712 AND THEY NEVER REALLY GOT THE SMELL OUT. 869 00:33:38,755 --> 00:33:40,192 HE'S NOT GONNA BE HERE, RIGHT? 870 00:33:40,235 --> 00:33:42,237 NO, GOD, NO. HE'S AT, LIKE, YOGA OR THE BAR. 871 00:33:42,281 --> 00:33:43,325 AH, A RENAISSANCE MAN. 872 00:33:43,369 --> 00:33:45,762 NO, IT'S ONLY FOR THE PUSSY. 873 00:33:45,806 --> 00:33:47,547 THE DRUGS ARE IN A SHOEBOX UNDER THE BED. 874 00:33:47,590 --> 00:33:49,505 RIGHT, AND YOU'RE SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS? IT'D BE FASTER. 875 00:33:49,549 --> 00:33:51,116 NO. I CAN'T. IF I GO UP THERE, 876 00:33:51,159 --> 00:33:54,119 IT'LL REALLY MESS WITH MY HEAD. PLUS, WHAT IF HE'S HOME? 877 00:33:54,162 --> 00:33:56,077 EH, YOU SAID HE WASN'T GONNA BE HOME. 878 00:33:56,121 --> 00:33:58,123 I CAN'T RISK IT. THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM, 879 00:33:58,166 --> 00:34:00,386 MY CLOTHES WERE OFF IN, LIKE, 10 SECONDS FLAT. DON'T SAY IT. 880 00:34:00,429 --> 00:34:02,083 SAY WHAT? 881 00:34:02,127 --> 00:34:04,433 JUST WHATEVER YOU'RE THINKING, JUST DON'T SAY IT. 882 00:34:04,477 --> 00:34:05,478 OKAY. 883 00:34:07,654 --> 00:34:09,090 OKAY. 884 00:34:11,788 --> 00:34:12,833 SORRY. 885 00:34:12,876 --> 00:34:14,052 LET'S GO. 886 00:34:14,095 --> 00:34:16,706 [JAZZ RESUMES] 887 00:34:18,012 --> 00:34:20,014 -YOU COMING? -THIS IT? YEAH. 888 00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:22,103 YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T BE TRYING SO HARD OUT THERE WITH THEM. 889 00:34:22,147 --> 00:34:24,018 -IT'S A LITTLE BIT-- -WHO? 890 00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:26,020 WELL, WHO DO YOU THINK? 891 00:34:26,064 --> 00:34:28,066 YOU KNOW IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DO. IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE GONNA, 892 00:34:28,109 --> 00:34:29,284 YOU KNOW, SCREW YOU TONIGHT. 893 00:34:29,328 --> 00:34:31,286 EASY, TIGER. I'VE NEVER CHEATED ON MY WIFE 894 00:34:31,330 --> 00:34:33,245 OR ANY OTHER WOMAN FOR THAT MATTER. I'M NOT ABOUT TO START NOW. 895 00:34:33,288 --> 00:34:35,290 -I KNOW. I'M JUST-- -I JUST LIKE TO TALK BIG. 896 00:34:35,334 --> 00:34:36,378 WELL, I KNOW THAT, TOO. 897 00:34:42,863 --> 00:34:44,169 MMM. 898 00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:50,914 [SIGHS] 899 00:34:50,958 --> 00:34:53,091 MOM'S REALLY STARTING TO WEAR OFF ON YOU. 900 00:34:53,134 --> 00:34:54,092 SHE'S NOT THAT BAD. 901 00:34:55,615 --> 00:34:57,312 SHE'S NOT A ROLE MODEL EITHER. 902 00:34:57,356 --> 00:34:58,357 I KNOW THAT. 903 00:35:00,010 --> 00:35:02,796 MAYBE YOU SHOULD SLOW DOWN JUST A LITTLE BIT, 904 00:35:02,839 --> 00:35:06,234 YOU KNOW, SO YOU'RE STILL SEMICONSCIOUS 905 00:35:06,278 --> 00:35:07,453 WHEN OUR NEW FRIENDS GET BACK. 906 00:35:07,496 --> 00:35:09,194 WHY DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF? 907 00:35:09,237 --> 00:35:12,545 'CAUSE I'M-- I'M NOT HERE TO IMPRESS ANYONE. 908 00:35:14,416 --> 00:35:15,852 BUT YOU MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE. 909 00:35:15,896 --> 00:35:17,419 WITH IDA? 910 00:35:17,463 --> 00:35:19,073 I DON'T THINK YOU'VE BEEN LISTENING TO HER. 911 00:35:19,117 --> 00:35:20,161 SHE'S REALLY NOT INTO ME. 912 00:35:20,205 --> 00:35:21,249 NO, NO, NO. ALISON. 913 00:35:21,293 --> 00:35:22,294 ONCE YOU GET PAST 914 00:35:22,337 --> 00:35:23,991 ALL THAT REPRESSED SOCCER MOM CRAP, 915 00:35:24,034 --> 00:35:25,210 SHE'S KIND OF A KNOCKOUT. 916 00:35:25,253 --> 00:35:26,733 SHE'S KIND OF MARRIED. HERE. 917 00:35:26,776 --> 00:35:28,778 YEAH. SOUNDS PRETTY MISERABLE. 918 00:35:28,822 --> 00:35:31,041 YOU KNOW, THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF BLOW-JOB TALK. 919 00:35:31,085 --> 00:35:32,652 I'D SAY YOU HAVE BETTER THAN AVERAGE ODDS 920 00:35:32,695 --> 00:35:34,523 OF GETTING AT LEAST SOME OF THAT ACTION TONIGHT. 921 00:35:34,567 --> 00:35:37,047 I COULD NEVER MESS AROUND WITH A MARRIED WOMAN. 922 00:35:37,091 --> 00:35:39,485 YEAH. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 923 00:35:39,528 --> 00:35:42,140 [DOOR CREAKING] 924 00:35:49,103 --> 00:35:50,365 OH. [CHUCKLES] 925 00:35:50,409 --> 00:35:52,280 WOW. 926 00:35:55,675 --> 00:35:59,026 YOU DON'T THINK WE GAVE THEM THE IMPRESSION THAT... 927 00:35:59,069 --> 00:36:01,942 ANYTHING WAS GONNA HAPPEN TONIGHT, RIGHT? 928 00:36:01,985 --> 00:36:05,467 WHAT, LIKE SEXUALLY? 929 00:36:05,511 --> 00:36:07,513 [CHUCKLES] NO. 930 00:36:07,556 --> 00:36:10,211 I MEAN, UNLESS YOU WANT SOMETHING TO HAPPEN. 931 00:36:10,255 --> 00:36:12,431 IDA, I'M MARRIED. 932 00:36:12,474 --> 00:36:14,128 SO AM I. 933 00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:15,782 WELL, YEAH, TECHNICALLY, BUT... 934 00:36:15,825 --> 00:36:18,001 I TOOK MY WEDDING VOWS JUST LIKE YOU DID, 935 00:36:18,045 --> 00:36:20,526 AND UNTIL I FILE FOR DIVORCE, 936 00:36:20,569 --> 00:36:22,005 I PLAN TO KEEP 'EM. 937 00:36:23,006 --> 00:36:25,139 I MEAN, IF I WAS GONNA CHEAT, 938 00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:27,620 I THINK I COULD DO A LITTLE BETTER THAN A LAWYER. 939 00:36:27,663 --> 00:36:30,188 [LAUGHS] WHAT ABOUT SWEATPANTS? 940 00:36:30,231 --> 00:36:31,493 HE'S KINDA CUTE... 941 00:36:33,278 --> 00:36:36,019 IN, LIKE, A DROWNING PUPPY KIND OF WAY. 942 00:36:36,063 --> 00:36:37,717 YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT? 943 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,197 [BOTH LAUGH] 944 00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:41,242 YOU KNOW, THE GREAT THING ABOUT TONIGHT IS THAT 945 00:36:41,286 --> 00:36:43,113 NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, 946 00:36:43,157 --> 00:36:44,724 IT'S NOT GONNA BE ANY SEX. 947 00:36:44,767 --> 00:36:45,899 [JAZZ RESUMES] [CLUNK] 948 00:36:45,942 --> 00:36:47,248 [CLARK] THERE'S A STEP THERE. 949 00:36:47,292 --> 00:36:50,033 ANOTHER ONE. HOW MANY STEPS THIS PLACE HAVE? 950 00:36:52,297 --> 00:36:53,428 OH. [WOMAN SQUEALS] 951 00:36:53,472 --> 00:36:54,603 [YELLING] 952 00:36:54,647 --> 00:36:56,257 SHIT. WHO ARE YOU GUYS? 953 00:36:56,301 --> 00:36:57,780 [CLARK] I'M SO SORRY. WE'RE JUST, UH-- 954 00:36:57,824 --> 00:36:59,260 I'M CLARK, AND THIS IS WILL. 955 00:36:59,304 --> 00:37:01,436 HEY. WE'RE JUST LEAVING. 956 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:02,872 THAT DOES NOT RING ANY BELLS WITH ME. 957 00:37:02,916 --> 00:37:05,048 WHOA. WHOA, WHOA. EASY, EASY. HEY, I'M AN ATTORNEY. 958 00:37:05,092 --> 00:37:07,050 THIS IS OBVIOUSLY AN INCONVENIENT TIME FOR YOU GUYS. 959 00:37:07,094 --> 00:37:08,661 -LET'S GO. LET'S GO. -WE WILL GET GOING. 960 00:37:08,704 --> 00:37:10,097 OKAY, BUT BEFORE YOU GET GOING, 961 00:37:10,140 --> 00:37:12,621 WILL YOU TELL ME WHY YOU'RE IN MY LOFT? 962 00:37:12,665 --> 00:37:13,840 YOUR WIFE IDA SENT US UP. 963 00:37:13,883 --> 00:37:16,321 [CLARK] IT'S A WHOLE--YEAH. 964 00:37:16,364 --> 00:37:18,497 -YOU'RE MARRIED? -SEPARATED. 965 00:37:18,540 --> 00:37:20,150 YEAH, ME, TOO. 966 00:37:20,194 --> 00:37:21,630 IT'S AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER. 967 00:37:21,674 --> 00:37:22,718 IT REALLY IS, ISN'T IT? 968 00:37:22,762 --> 00:37:24,720 [WILL] SO SORRY. 969 00:37:24,764 --> 00:37:25,939 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. 970 00:37:25,982 --> 00:37:27,680 HOW'S IDA DOING THESE DAYS? 971 00:37:27,723 --> 00:37:29,247 [CLARK] UM... 972 00:37:29,290 --> 00:37:31,249 HOW IS-- WELL, TRUTHFULLY, 973 00:37:31,292 --> 00:37:33,947 SHE'S BURYING A LOT OF STUFF. I THINK SHE'S COVERING A LOT UP... 974 00:37:33,990 --> 00:37:35,775 I DON'T THINK HE NEEDS A WHOLE PSYCHOLOGICAL BREAKDOWN. 975 00:37:35,818 --> 00:37:37,472 NO, NO, IT'S COOL. I WANT TO KNOW. 976 00:37:37,516 --> 00:37:40,693 HEY, GUY, HI. CAN WE MAYBE HAVE THIS DISCUSSION ANOTHER TIME? 977 00:37:40,736 --> 00:37:42,695 THIS IS JUST GONNA TAKE A FEW MINUTES. BUT SERIOUSLY 978 00:37:42,738 --> 00:37:45,175 IDA'S NOT RETURNING MY E-MAILS ANYMORE. DO YOU KNOW IF SHE'S GETTING THEM-- 979 00:37:45,219 --> 00:37:47,003 I WOULD NOT GET INTO THE WHOLE E-MAIL SITUATION WITH YOU... 980 00:37:47,047 --> 00:37:48,178 I THINK SHE'S... 981 00:37:48,222 --> 00:37:49,484 WE REALLY HAVEN'T KNOWN HER THAT LONG, 982 00:37:49,528 --> 00:37:51,051 AND I THINK WE PROBABLY NEED TO GET GOING. 983 00:37:51,094 --> 00:37:53,183 YOU'VE KNOWN HER LONG ENOUGH TO GET THE KEYS TO OUR LOFT. 984 00:37:53,227 --> 00:37:56,143 SHE WANTED MARIJUANA FROM YOU, 985 00:37:56,186 --> 00:37:57,405 AND SHE SENT US UP-- 986 00:37:57,449 --> 00:37:58,232 [WILL[ WHY DON'T WE JUST GET GOING? 987 00:37:58,276 --> 00:37:59,407 OKAY. OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 988 00:37:59,451 --> 00:38:00,495 THAT MAKES MORE SENSE. 989 00:38:00,539 --> 00:38:01,714 SHE WON'T RETURN MY LETTERS, 990 00:38:01,757 --> 00:38:02,932 BUT SHE'LL SEND 2 RANDOM DUDES... 991 00:38:02,976 --> 00:38:04,282 -CLARK, -YOU DON'T-- 992 00:38:04,325 --> 00:38:05,674 I DON'T KNOW IF WE'RE RANDOM DUDES. 993 00:38:05,718 --> 00:38:07,023 OH, NO OFFENSE. 994 00:38:07,067 --> 00:38:08,634 YOU GUYS JUST SEEM TO BE RANDOM TO ME. GIRLS? 995 00:38:08,677 --> 00:38:10,897 -RANDOM. -DEFINITELY. 996 00:38:10,940 --> 00:38:12,507 GIVE IDA MY REGARDS, WILL YOU? 997 00:38:12,551 --> 00:38:15,118 OH. OKAY. I GUESS-- THIS IS A LOT. 998 00:38:15,162 --> 00:38:16,250 I DON'T KNOW IF WE NEED ALL THIS. 999 00:38:16,294 --> 00:38:17,382 DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE IT BACK? 1000 00:38:17,425 --> 00:38:19,122 NO. THIS IS GOOD. THANKS. 1001 00:38:19,166 --> 00:38:22,474 OKAY. ALTHOUGH, DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, SOMETHING TO SMOKE-- PAPE-- 1002 00:38:22,517 --> 00:38:23,997 -A BONG. -A BOWL. 1003 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,303 -SMALL BONG OR SOMETHING. -YEAH. 1004 00:38:25,346 --> 00:38:26,782 A SMOKING THING. HERE'S A VARIETY 1005 00:38:26,826 --> 00:38:28,828 OF THEM ON MY TABLE. WOULD YOU LIKE ONE? 1006 00:38:29,742 --> 00:38:32,484 NOT THAT. THAT'S A FAMILY HEIRLOOM, YOU JACKASS. 1007 00:38:32,527 --> 00:38:33,528 JUST GRAB THIS. THANKS. 1008 00:38:33,572 --> 00:38:35,008 SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING YOUR ORGY. 1009 00:38:35,878 --> 00:38:37,140 -READY? -YOU GUYS LOOK SO-- 1010 00:38:37,184 --> 00:38:38,751 ACTUALLY, WHILE I'M HERE, CAN I ASK YOU... 1011 00:38:38,794 --> 00:38:39,969 -NO. - A QUICK QUESTION? 1012 00:38:40,013 --> 00:38:41,754 YOU GUYS ARE BOTH BISEXUAL? 1013 00:38:41,797 --> 00:38:42,842 STOP ASKING QUESTIONS. 1014 00:38:42,885 --> 00:38:43,886 CAN YOU JUST TELL ME 1015 00:38:43,930 --> 00:38:44,931 WHEN DID YOU DISCOVER 1016 00:38:44,974 --> 00:38:47,368 THAT YOU WERE... 1017 00:38:47,412 --> 00:38:49,501 YOU KNOW, GOOD WITH WOMEN OR THAT YOU LIKED WOMEN? 1018 00:38:49,544 --> 00:38:50,719 HE'S NOT TRYING TO BE SLEAZY. 1019 00:38:50,763 --> 00:38:52,155 HIS WIFE LEFT HIM FOR A WOMAN. 1020 00:38:52,199 --> 00:38:53,200 -REALLY? -OHH. 1021 00:38:54,506 --> 00:38:56,377 OH, SHIT. BUMMER, DUDE. DO YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN? 1022 00:38:57,683 --> 00:38:58,640 -REALLY? -OKAY... 1023 00:38:58,684 --> 00:39:00,250 THANK YOU. 1024 00:39:00,294 --> 00:39:02,165 IT'S THE NOT KNOWING THAT'S THE HARDEST PART. 1025 00:39:02,209 --> 00:39:03,471 DID SHE KNOW THE WHOLE TIME? 1026 00:39:03,515 --> 00:39:05,430 DID IT JUST HAPPEN ONE DAY, OR WHAT? 1027 00:39:05,473 --> 00:39:08,346 WAS SHE PRETENDING I WAS A WOMAN THE WHOLE TIME? 1028 00:39:08,389 --> 00:39:10,478 YOU SHOULD ASK HER. 1029 00:39:10,522 --> 00:39:12,088 YOU KNOW, SPEAKING FOR MYSELF, 1030 00:39:12,132 --> 00:39:13,786 I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WOMEN'S BODIES 1031 00:39:13,829 --> 00:39:15,527 WERE BEAUTIFUL, BUT I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW 1032 00:39:15,570 --> 00:39:17,093 HOW I FELT ABOUT IT UNTIL I TRIED IT. 1033 00:39:17,137 --> 00:39:19,487 ME NEITHER. I'M SURE YOUR WIFE THOUGHT SHE WAS STRAIGHT, 1034 00:39:19,531 --> 00:39:22,098 BUT ONCE SHE LET HERSELF GO THERE, SHE REALIZED SHE WASN'T. 1035 00:39:22,142 --> 00:39:24,013 YEAH. I MEAN, NO ONE'S REALLY STRAIGHT, ANYWAY. 1036 00:39:24,057 --> 00:39:25,580 - THAT'S TRUE. -IT'S TRUE. 1037 00:39:25,624 --> 00:39:27,887 NO, I'M PRETTY SURE I'M DEFINITELY STRAIGHT. 1038 00:39:27,930 --> 00:39:29,236 OH, DON'T BE SILLY. 1039 00:39:29,279 --> 00:39:31,325 SEXUALITY IS LIKE A COLOR SPECTRUM. 1040 00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:33,588 NO ONE'S REALLY ON ONE SIDE OR THE OTHER. 1041 00:39:33,632 --> 00:39:35,503 EVERYONE'S SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN, LIKE DIFFERENT SHADES. 1042 00:39:35,547 --> 00:39:40,247 GUESS THAT MAKES ME 100% SHADE OF STRAIGHT. 1043 00:39:40,290 --> 00:39:42,684 WOW, MAN. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED IT? 1044 00:39:42,728 --> 00:39:43,816 BEING WITH A GUY? 1045 00:39:43,859 --> 00:39:46,906 NO. HAVE YOU? 1046 00:39:46,949 --> 00:39:48,516 SURE, FEW TIMES. 1047 00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:50,649 IT'S HOW I TOTES KNOW I'M STRAIGHT. 1048 00:39:50,692 --> 00:39:52,433 [WILL] AFTER A FEW TIMES? 1049 00:39:52,477 --> 00:39:54,566 YEAH. THAT'S THE THING. GUYS THINK IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL, 1050 00:39:54,609 --> 00:39:58,004 EVEN HOT FOR WOMEN TO EXPERIMENT WITH THEIR BISEXUALITY, 1051 00:39:58,047 --> 00:39:59,440 -IN HIGH SCHOOL, COLLEGE... -RIGHT, RIGHT. 1052 00:39:59,484 --> 00:40:01,094 OR IN YOUR SITUATION. 1053 00:40:01,137 --> 00:40:02,225 AFTER 13 YEARS OF MARRIAGE? 1054 00:40:02,269 --> 00:40:03,444 THEY'RE ALL IN THAT MARRIAGE. 1055 00:40:03,488 --> 00:40:04,793 BUT THEN THOSE SAME GUYS ARE SO ARROGANT 1056 00:40:04,837 --> 00:40:06,839 THAT THEY TURN AROUND, SAY, "NO, NO, NO. 1057 00:40:06,882 --> 00:40:08,710 I KNOW I'M TOTALLY STRAIGHT," WITHOUT CHECKING. 1058 00:40:08,754 --> 00:40:09,581 [CLARK] YEAH. 1059 00:40:09,624 --> 00:40:10,625 [JAKE] IT'S BULLSHIT. 1060 00:40:10,669 --> 00:40:12,584 YEAH. LIKE IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME 1061 00:40:12,627 --> 00:40:14,150 AS MUCH AS IT COULD HAVE BEEN HER, RIGHT? 1062 00:40:14,194 --> 00:40:15,891 LIKE THERE'S-- THERE'S A WORLD 1063 00:40:15,935 --> 00:40:18,198 WHERE I'M THE ONE THAT FINDS OUT HE'S GAY 1064 00:40:18,241 --> 00:40:21,331 LATER IN LIFE, RIGHT? IF-- YOU KNOW? 1065 00:40:21,375 --> 00:40:22,855 BUT YOU'RE NOT GAY. 1066 00:40:22,898 --> 00:40:24,683 [CLARK] NO, I'M JUST SAYING HOW CAN WE BE SURE? 1067 00:40:24,726 --> 00:40:26,162 [WILL] OK, YOUR FASHION SENSE FOR STARTERS. 1068 00:40:26,206 --> 00:40:28,208 OH, GOD, THAT'S SUCH A STEREOTYPE. 1069 00:40:28,251 --> 00:40:29,470 [GIRL 2] THEY'RE IN DENIAL. 1070 00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:30,950 I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING. 1071 00:40:30,993 --> 00:40:34,301 YOU CAN'T REALLY KNOW UNTIL YOU TRIED IT, MAN. 1072 00:40:34,344 --> 00:40:37,609 I'M THINKING YOU GUYS SHOULD MAKE OUT. 1073 00:40:37,652 --> 00:40:41,308 NO. WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR A LONG TIME. IT'D BE WEIRD. 1074 00:40:41,351 --> 00:40:42,701 YEAH. 1075 00:40:42,744 --> 00:40:45,094 I MEAN, EVEN IF I WAS GAY, HE WOULDN'T BE MY TYPE. 1076 00:40:46,487 --> 00:40:48,054 EXCUSE ME. WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 1077 00:40:48,097 --> 00:40:49,316 AND... 1078 00:40:49,359 --> 00:40:52,319 I'LL MAKE OUT WITH YOU IF YOU WANT. 1079 00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:55,409 REALLY? 1080 00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:56,454 YEAH. 1081 00:40:58,064 --> 00:40:59,718 [WILL] Y-YOU'RE GONNA KISS THIS GUY? 1082 00:40:59,761 --> 00:41:01,067 YOU BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? 1083 00:41:01,110 --> 00:41:02,851 [CLARK] NO, THIS IS A GOOD-- THIS IS... 1084 00:41:02,895 --> 00:41:03,896 [JAKE] JUST LET IT HAPPEN. 1085 00:41:10,772 --> 00:41:11,773 CLARK. 1086 00:41:27,267 --> 00:41:28,616 WOW. 1087 00:41:28,660 --> 00:41:30,531 SO...? 1088 00:41:32,402 --> 00:41:34,492 [[VOMITS] - [JAKE] OH, SHIT. 1089 00:41:34,535 --> 00:41:35,841 OH, GOD. 1090 00:41:35,884 --> 00:41:38,452 THAT'S NOT COOL, MAN. 1091 00:41:42,195 --> 00:41:43,370 [COUGHS] YOU SURE WE SHOULDN'T WAIT 1092 00:41:43,413 --> 00:41:44,806 TILL WE GET OUT THERE WITH THEM? 1093 00:41:44,850 --> 00:41:46,155 NAH, THEY'LL BE FINE. 1094 00:41:46,199 --> 00:41:47,766 BESIDES, DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE SOBER 1095 00:41:47,809 --> 00:41:49,811 WHEN YOU TELL IDA THAT YOU MADE OUT WITH HER HUSBAND? 1096 00:41:50,812 --> 00:41:52,292 I'M NOT TELLING HER. 1097 00:41:52,335 --> 00:41:53,772 HE'S PROBABLY E-MAILING HER 1098 00:41:53,815 --> 00:41:54,947 THE JUICY DETAILS RIGHT NOW. 1099 00:41:54,990 --> 00:41:56,426 YOU MIGHT WANT TO TELL HER. 1100 00:41:58,907 --> 00:41:59,952 YOU THINK I'M HOMOPHOBIC? 1101 00:41:59,995 --> 00:42:01,649 BECAUSE YOU MADE OUT WITH A GUY? 1102 00:42:01,693 --> 00:42:03,346 NO, 'CAUSE I MADE OUT WITH A GUY... 1103 00:42:06,654 --> 00:42:08,438 FUCK. AND THEN THREW UP. 1104 00:42:09,918 --> 00:42:10,963 THAT'S REALLY RUDE. 1105 00:42:11,006 --> 00:42:12,573 THIS GUY WAS GOING OUT OF HIS WAY 1106 00:42:12,617 --> 00:42:14,140 TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR ME, 1107 00:42:14,183 --> 00:42:15,750 AND I FEEL BAD, 'CAUSE HE WAS ACTUALLY-- 1108 00:42:15,794 --> 00:42:16,969 THAT GUY WAS AWESOME. 1109 00:42:17,012 --> 00:42:18,623 HE WAS COOL, AND IT DID... 1110 00:42:18,666 --> 00:42:20,102 I SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO HIM A LITTLE. 1111 00:42:20,146 --> 00:42:22,061 LISTEN. TAKE MY WORD. NO ONE IN THAT APARTMENT 1112 00:42:22,104 --> 00:42:23,715 EVER WANTS TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN. 1113 00:42:24,672 --> 00:42:26,935 IT'S NOT A GOOD MEMORY FOR THEM, WHAT WE DID IN THERE. 1114 00:42:26,979 --> 00:42:29,851 I TEND TO HAVE THAT EFFECT ON PEOPLE. 1115 00:42:31,244 --> 00:42:32,201 LITTLE BIT. 1116 00:42:32,245 --> 00:42:34,595 [COUGHS] 1117 00:42:34,639 --> 00:42:35,988 CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? 1118 00:42:36,031 --> 00:42:38,033 I REALLY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT KISSING THAT GUY. 1119 00:42:38,077 --> 00:42:41,210 NO, IT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT THE OTHER TIME YOU THREW UP. 1120 00:42:41,254 --> 00:42:43,256 YOU GOTTA BE MORE SPECIFIC. 1121 00:42:43,299 --> 00:42:45,475 CHILDBIRTH... 1122 00:42:45,519 --> 00:42:46,912 IS IT REALLY THAT HORRIBLE? 1123 00:42:47,390 --> 00:42:49,436 THE GOOD NEWS IS 1124 00:42:49,479 --> 00:42:51,569 YOU'RE NOT THE ONE THAT HAS TO DO IT. 1125 00:42:51,612 --> 00:42:54,397 AND JUST DON'T LET HER SEE THAT YOU'RE SCARED, 1126 00:42:54,441 --> 00:42:56,225 AND THAT'S ABOUT ALL YOU CAN DO. 1127 00:42:56,269 --> 00:42:58,619 OH, AND DON'T LET ANYONE CONVINCE YOU TO EAT THE PLACENTA AFTERWARDS. 1128 00:42:58,663 --> 00:43:00,578 I'M BEING SERIOUS, MAN. I MEAN, 1129 00:43:00,621 --> 00:43:03,145 I JUST-- LOOK, I GUESS IT'S JUST, LIKE, AFTER THE BIRTH, 1130 00:43:03,189 --> 00:43:04,973 YOU KNOW, OKAY, SHE HAS THE KID, 1131 00:43:05,017 --> 00:43:07,193 BUT THEN THEY GIVE YOU THIS SOFT-SKULLED, 1132 00:43:07,236 --> 00:43:08,890 SLIPPERY, SLIMY, LITTLE MUTANT, 1133 00:43:08,934 --> 00:43:10,805 - KIND OF HAND IT TO YOU. - A BABY. 1134 00:43:10,849 --> 00:43:12,067 YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 1135 00:43:12,111 --> 00:43:15,157 WELL, ARE YOU ASKING FOR PARENTING ADVICE? 1136 00:43:15,201 --> 00:43:16,768 YES, I AM. I GUESS, YES, 1137 00:43:16,811 --> 00:43:19,422 I AM ASKING YOU FOR PARENTING ADVICE. 1138 00:43:19,466 --> 00:43:21,076 WELL, THE FIRST THING YOU SHOULD KNOW 1139 00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,949 IS THAT YOUR LIFE, AS YOU KNOW IT, IS-- YOU KNOW, IS DONE. 1140 00:43:23,992 --> 00:43:24,950 FANTASTIC. 1141 00:43:26,081 --> 00:43:26,952 I'M SERIOUS, 1142 00:43:26,995 --> 00:43:28,431 AND IT WON'T MATTER TO YOU, 1143 00:43:28,475 --> 00:43:30,869 BECAUSE EVERYTHING THAT YOU FELT WAS IMPORTANT 1144 00:43:30,912 --> 00:43:32,610 WILL NO LONGER BE IMPORTANT. 1145 00:43:32,653 --> 00:43:34,046 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE, 1146 00:43:34,089 --> 00:43:37,484 YOU WILL KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO REALLY LOVE SOMEONE. 1147 00:43:39,704 --> 00:43:41,662 SOUNDS PRETTY SPECIAL. 1148 00:43:41,706 --> 00:43:44,099 YEAH. IT HAS ITS MOMENTS. 1149 00:43:45,797 --> 00:43:47,407 I HOPE SO. 1150 00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:53,935 [CLARK] AND, YOU KNOW, I TOTALLY GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING 1151 00:43:53,979 --> 00:43:55,415 ABOUT HIM BEING GENUINELY COOL. 1152 00:43:55,458 --> 00:43:56,982 [WILL] DEFINITELY. 1153 00:43:57,025 --> 00:43:58,766 I FELT COOL JUST BEING NEXT TO THE GUY. 1154 00:43:58,810 --> 00:44:00,638 - AND THE TWO WOMEN HE WAS WITH... - RADIANT GODDESSES. 1155 00:44:00,681 --> 00:44:02,422 I THINK WE'VE GOTTEN THE POINT. THANKS. 1156 00:44:02,465 --> 00:44:04,250 NOBODY COVERED UP. NOBODY COVERED UP. 1157 00:44:04,293 --> 00:44:05,860 I KEPT EXPECTING SOMEBODY TO PUT SOMETHING ON. 1158 00:44:05,904 --> 00:44:07,296 THEY WERE JUST TOTALLY COMFORTABLE NAKED. 1159 00:44:07,340 --> 00:44:08,515 [CLARK] I THINK WHEN YOU'RE THAT PERFECT... 1160 00:44:08,558 --> 00:44:09,951 - NUDE. - YEAH, YOU DON'T EVEN 1161 00:44:09,995 --> 00:44:11,387 CARE ABOUT NUDITY. YOU'RE NEVER EMBARRASSED, 1162 00:44:11,431 --> 00:44:13,215 AND YOU'RE SO COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR BODY. 1163 00:44:13,259 --> 00:44:14,956 - IF ONLY I COULD-- - OKAY! 1164 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,436 [CLARK] JESUS. 1165 00:44:16,479 --> 00:44:17,655 SOMETHING WRONG? 1166 00:44:17,698 --> 00:44:19,526 NO, NOTHING IS WRONG. YOU JUST-- 1167 00:44:19,569 --> 00:44:21,006 YOU JUST WATCHED MY HUSBAND 1168 00:44:21,049 --> 00:44:22,921 HAVE A RADIANT GODDESS THREESOME. 1169 00:44:22,964 --> 00:44:24,618 THEN YOU FRENCH-KISSED HIM, 1170 00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:27,012 LEFT US IN THE CAR WHILE YOU SMOKED YOURSELVES BRAIN-DEAD. 1171 00:44:27,055 --> 00:44:29,275 NO, N-NOTHING'S WRONG. 1172 00:44:29,318 --> 00:44:30,450 WHOA, HOLD UP. IN CLARK'S DEFENSE, 1173 00:44:30,493 --> 00:44:31,886 THERE WAS NOT NEARLY ENOUGH TONGUE 1174 00:44:31,930 --> 00:44:33,932 FOR THAT TO BE CONSIDERED A BONA FIDE FRENCH KISS. 1175 00:44:33,975 --> 00:44:34,976 - THAT WAS-- - YEAH, THANK YOU. 1176 00:44:35,020 --> 00:44:36,325 - THAT WAS... - EXPERIMENTAL. 1177 00:44:36,369 --> 00:44:38,197 I MEAN, IT WAS LIKE A LITTLE BIT... 1178 00:44:38,240 --> 00:44:39,981 - AT BEST... - A PECK. 1179 00:44:40,025 --> 00:44:41,766 YEAH, BUT WE HONESTLY 1180 00:44:41,809 --> 00:44:44,333 DIDN'T THINK THAT YOU WOULD THINK ANYTHING OF THIS. 1181 00:44:44,377 --> 00:44:45,813 I MEAN, AFTER READING ALL THOSE E-MAILS, 1182 00:44:45,857 --> 00:44:46,988 THIS IS TAME IN COMPARISON. 1183 00:44:47,032 --> 00:44:48,511 OKAY. 1184 00:44:48,555 --> 00:44:49,861 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1185 00:44:49,904 --> 00:44:52,602 I'M CALLING FOR CHINESE FOOD. 1186 00:44:52,646 --> 00:44:54,343 WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING? 1187 00:44:54,387 --> 00:44:56,650 HONEY, DON'T DO THAT. JUST TAKE A SECOND. 1188 00:44:56,694 --> 00:44:58,608 SERIOUSLY, TAKE-- JUST TAKE A BIG BREATH. 1189 00:44:58,652 --> 00:44:59,958 HE'S PROBABLY NOT GONNA PICK UP. 1190 00:45:00,001 --> 00:45:01,437 YEAH, HE'S PROBABLY BUSY UP THERE. 1191 00:45:01,481 --> 00:45:02,700 HE'S GOT HIS HANDS FULL, I'D SAY, WITH-- 1192 00:45:02,743 --> 00:45:04,136 OH, MY GOD. CAN YOU STOP THE CAR, PLEASE? 1193 00:45:06,007 --> 00:45:08,183 I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR THE ANSWERING MACHINE. 1194 00:45:09,837 --> 00:45:11,709 SO I'M JUST GONNA KEEP CALLING UNTIL YOU PICK UP. 1195 00:45:14,581 --> 00:45:16,235 HI. 1196 00:45:16,278 --> 00:45:18,411 NO, LET ME JUST START THE CONVERSATION 1197 00:45:18,454 --> 00:45:20,500 BY SAYING FUCK YOU. 1198 00:45:20,543 --> 00:45:21,631 CAN'T BELIEVE HE PICKED UP. 1199 00:45:21,675 --> 00:45:23,111 I BET HE'S REGRETTING IT NOW. 1200 00:45:23,155 --> 00:45:25,766 YOU ARE SUCH AN INFANT. 1201 00:45:25,810 --> 00:45:27,507 IF YOU'RE TRYING TO GET BACK AT ME, 1202 00:45:27,550 --> 00:45:30,510 LIKE, WOW, WOW, JAKE, YOU REALLY SHOWED ME. 1203 00:45:30,553 --> 00:45:32,207 WAIT. WHY IS HE GETTING BACK AT HER? 1204 00:45:32,251 --> 00:45:33,992 - I THOUGHT-- - EXCUSE ME. 1205 00:45:34,035 --> 00:45:36,472 LITTLE LESS EAVESDROPPING, MAYBE, WOULD BE NICE. 1206 00:45:36,516 --> 00:45:39,519 YEAH, BUT SHE LEFT THE DOOR OPEN, SO I MEAN... 1207 00:45:39,562 --> 00:45:41,303 ...HE LOVES ME SO MUCH 1208 00:45:41,347 --> 00:45:43,262 THAT HIS TINY, LITTLE MAN-BRAIN 1209 00:45:43,305 --> 00:45:45,133 CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO COPE WITH IT ALL. 1210 00:45:45,177 --> 00:45:49,834 NO, BUT I WAS SO WRONG, WASN'T I? 1211 00:45:49,877 --> 00:45:51,052 ALISON WAS RIGHT. 1212 00:45:51,096 --> 00:45:53,576 YOU ARE JUST A WALKING, TALKING ERECTION. 1213 00:45:54,752 --> 00:45:56,449 NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? 1214 00:45:56,492 --> 00:45:58,581 NO, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE 1215 00:45:58,625 --> 00:46:01,106 WHO CAN DEAL WITH THEIR PROBLEMS BY SCREWING RANDOM STRANGERS. 1216 00:46:02,150 --> 00:46:03,891 NO, IT'S NOT A THREAT. 1217 00:46:03,935 --> 00:46:06,328 I AM GOING TO HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH SOMEONE TONIGHT. 1218 00:46:08,113 --> 00:46:09,592 I DON'T KNOW. 1219 00:46:09,636 --> 00:46:11,159 MAYBE ONE OF THOSE TWO LOSERS I SENT UP TO SEE YOU. 1220 00:46:13,422 --> 00:46:15,381 WHO CARES? I'LL PROBABLY JUST FLIP A COIN 1221 00:46:15,424 --> 00:46:17,731 OR PLAY EENY, MEENY, MINEY, MOE. 1222 00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:18,732 LET'S GO. 1223 00:46:27,567 --> 00:46:28,524 [IDA] WHAT? 1224 00:46:29,743 --> 00:46:32,528 OH, YOU-- YOU HEARD ALL THAT OUT THERE? 1225 00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:36,097 WHAT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND 1226 00:46:36,141 --> 00:46:37,620 IS THAT YOU WERE JUST TRYING 1227 00:46:37,664 --> 00:46:38,883 TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND JEALOUS. 1228 00:46:38,926 --> 00:46:40,406 SOON-TO-BE EX-HUSBAND, 1229 00:46:40,449 --> 00:46:42,974 AND I DON'T REALLY CARE IF I MAKE HIM JEALOUS. 1230 00:46:43,017 --> 00:46:44,584 IN FACT, I DON'T CARE 1231 00:46:44,627 --> 00:46:48,109 WHAT THAT DIPSHIT THINKS ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE. 1232 00:46:49,458 --> 00:46:51,678 RIGHT, BUT WHAT THESE GUYS 1233 00:46:51,721 --> 00:46:54,028 DON'T UNDERSTAND, BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW YOU LIKE I DO, 1234 00:46:54,072 --> 00:46:55,987 IS THAT YOU WOULD NEVER ACTUALLY HAVE... 1235 00:46:56,030 --> 00:46:59,164 HAVE MEANINGLESS REBOUND SEX? 1236 00:47:00,730 --> 00:47:02,863 WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO? 1237 00:47:02,907 --> 00:47:05,257 OKAY, WELL, MAYBE WHEN YOU WERE IN YOUR... 1238 00:47:05,300 --> 00:47:07,172 20s, BUT... 1239 00:47:07,215 --> 00:47:08,695 EENY, MEENY, MINEY... 1240 00:47:08,738 --> 00:47:09,739 YOU'RE GONNA PICK ONE OF US? 1241 00:47:10,392 --> 00:47:11,785 [IDA] WHY NOT? 1242 00:47:11,829 --> 00:47:14,614 AH BECAUSE THAT'S DISGUSTING AND DEGRADING AND VILE. 1243 00:47:15,136 --> 00:47:16,703 WELL, I WAS GOING TO SAY, ACTUALLY, 1244 00:47:16,746 --> 00:47:19,793 IT'S JUST KIND OF LAME THAT YOU WOULD LEAVE IT TO CHANCE. 1245 00:47:19,837 --> 00:47:21,447 WHY NOT STEP UP AND... 1246 00:47:21,490 --> 00:47:23,492 - YOU KNOW, DO YOU HAVE A PREFERENCE? - MAKE A CHOICE. 1247 00:47:23,536 --> 00:47:24,537 WE'RE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE HERE. 1248 00:47:24,580 --> 00:47:25,799 YOU GOT FREE WILL. 1249 00:47:25,843 --> 00:47:27,409 YOU'RE KIND OF BOTH THE SAME TO ME. 1250 00:47:27,453 --> 00:47:29,237 I MEAN, I'VE NEVER SLEPT WITH A NICE GUY 1251 00:47:29,281 --> 00:47:31,500 AND NEVER SLEPT WITH A LAWYER, 1252 00:47:31,544 --> 00:47:34,373 SO EITHER WAY, THIS IS GOING TO BE A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR ME. 1253 00:47:34,416 --> 00:47:36,070 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS JOKE IS OVER. 1254 00:47:36,114 --> 00:47:38,246 NOBODY'S LAUGHING. I THINK WE CAN DROP IT NOW. 1255 00:47:38,290 --> 00:47:40,335 I, FOR ONE, AM OFFENDED. 1256 00:47:40,379 --> 00:47:44,165 I DON'T APPRECIATE BEING TREATED LIKE A SEX OBJECT. 1257 00:47:44,209 --> 00:47:46,341 I'M OFFENDED FOR YOU. IT'S A LITTLE PRESUMPTUOUS 1258 00:47:46,385 --> 00:47:47,865 TO THINK JUST BECAUSE YOU MIGHT DECIDE 1259 00:47:47,908 --> 00:47:51,477 TO DO THAT, THAT WE WOULD JUST GO ALONG WITH IT. 1260 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:53,522 OH? IS THAT RIGHT? 1261 00:47:53,566 --> 00:47:55,394 IT IS RIGHT. THIS IS A MARRIED MAN, 1262 00:47:55,437 --> 00:47:57,222 AND MY FRIEND HAS NEVER CHEATED ON HIS WIFE. 1263 00:47:57,265 --> 00:47:58,527 HE'S NOT ABOUT TO START TONIGHT. 1264 00:48:01,313 --> 00:48:02,531 RIGHT. YEAH, PROBABLY NOT. 1265 00:48:04,055 --> 00:48:06,100 AND THIS GUY'S GOT THE STOMACH OF A NEWBORN, 1266 00:48:06,144 --> 00:48:08,146 SO, WELL, YOU KNOW, HE MIGHT THROW UP ON YOU. 1267 00:48:08,189 --> 00:48:09,277 I WOULD NOT. 1268 00:48:09,321 --> 00:48:11,758 OKAY, OBVIOUSLY WE ALL KNOW 1269 00:48:11,801 --> 00:48:14,195 MY SISTER'S NOT SLEEPING WITH ANYONE TONIGHT, 1270 00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:16,589 SO THAT'S THE END OF THAT. 1271 00:48:16,632 --> 00:48:18,765 I AM GLAD THAT YOU ARE SO SURE. 1272 00:48:18,808 --> 00:48:21,768 I MEAN, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M GONNA DO ANY NIGHT. 1273 00:48:21,811 --> 00:48:23,988 NONE OF US DO. ISN'T THAT KIND OF 1274 00:48:24,031 --> 00:48:25,685 WHAT MAKES LIFE INTERESTING? 1275 00:48:27,469 --> 00:48:28,775 HMM? 1276 00:48:31,169 --> 00:48:32,518 LET'S GET WASTED. 1277 00:48:32,561 --> 00:48:34,433 ACTUALLY, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WERE IN HERE 1278 00:48:34,476 --> 00:48:36,261 WHEN BETTY SAID THAT WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SMOKE 1279 00:48:36,304 --> 00:48:37,653 - INSIDE THE LIMO. - OH, YEAH. 1280 00:48:37,697 --> 00:48:40,308 HEY, BETTY, IF WE GIVE YOU AN EXTRA 200 BUCKS, 1281 00:48:40,352 --> 00:48:42,093 CAN WE SMOKE IN THE LIMO? 1282 00:48:42,136 --> 00:48:44,356 [BETTY] YEP. JUST ROLL DOWN THE WINDOWS. 1283 00:48:44,399 --> 00:48:45,835 THANK YOU. 1284 00:48:45,879 --> 00:48:46,880 PACK IT. 1285 00:48:47,881 --> 00:48:50,144 [BALLAD PLAYING] 1286 00:48:56,455 --> 00:48:58,457 ♪ I CAN SEE IT, I CAN SEE IT ♪ 1287 00:48:58,500 --> 00:49:00,763 ♪ I CAN SEE IT, I CAN SEE IT NOW ♪ 1288 00:49:03,157 --> 00:49:05,159 ♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ♪ 1289 00:49:05,203 --> 00:49:08,162 ♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT IT ♪ 1290 00:49:09,816 --> 00:49:11,818 ♪ I CAN SEE IT, I CAN SEE IT ♪ 1291 00:49:11,861 --> 00:49:14,038 ♪ I CAN SEE IT, I CAN SEE IT NOW ♪ 1292 00:49:16,388 --> 00:49:18,433 ♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ♪ 1293 00:49:18,477 --> 00:49:21,306 ♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT IT ♪ 1294 00:49:23,003 --> 00:49:25,005 ♪ I CAN SEE IT, I CAN SEE IT ♪ 1295 00:49:25,049 --> 00:49:27,312 ♪ I CAN SEE IT, I CAN SEE IT NOW ♪ 1296 00:49:29,357 --> 00:49:31,577 ♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ♪ 1297 00:49:31,620 --> 00:49:34,710 ♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT IT... ♪ 1298 00:49:36,234 --> 00:49:38,758 [LAUGHING] 1299 00:49:42,196 --> 00:49:44,068 I FEEL LIKE DRUGS ARE STRONGER NOW 1300 00:49:44,111 --> 00:49:45,591 THAN WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER. 1301 00:49:45,634 --> 00:49:47,114 I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS. 1302 00:49:47,158 --> 00:49:49,160 THAT'S GREAT. [LAUGHS] 1303 00:49:49,203 --> 00:49:51,989 YOU KNOW, IT'S BAD ENOUGH YOU GUYS LEFT THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP, 1304 00:49:52,032 --> 00:49:53,773 BUT YOU GUYS CAN'T GO OUT THERE LIKE THIS. 1305 00:49:53,816 --> 00:49:54,687 YOU'RE SUCH A STICK-IN-THE-MUD. 1306 00:49:54,730 --> 00:49:57,037 WE'RE JUST GOING FOR A SWIM. 1307 00:49:57,081 --> 00:49:59,648 A SWIM? I CAN'T PARK AT THIS HOUR. 1308 00:49:59,692 --> 00:50:00,693 CAN'T REALLY CLOSE THE OCEAN. 1309 00:50:00,736 --> 00:50:02,173 YEAH. 1310 00:50:02,216 --> 00:50:04,566 - THAT WOULD BE LIKE CLOSING THE SKY. - AND THE SUN. 1311 00:50:04,610 --> 00:50:06,960 LIKE A BLADE OF GRASS. 1312 00:50:07,004 --> 00:50:08,222 OKAY, HIPPIES, 1313 00:50:08,266 --> 00:50:09,702 LISTEN VERY CLOSELY. 1314 00:50:09,745 --> 00:50:11,225 THIS ISN'T WOODSTOCK. 1315 00:50:11,269 --> 00:50:13,227 THIS IS MY JOB, 1316 00:50:13,271 --> 00:50:14,663 SO PLEASE GET BACK IN THE CAR, 1317 00:50:14,707 --> 00:50:15,882 BEFORE WE ALL GET IN TROUBLE. 1318 00:50:15,925 --> 00:50:18,406 [CLARK LAUGHING] 1319 00:50:21,409 --> 00:50:23,281 SORRY. [GIGGLES] 1320 00:50:23,324 --> 00:50:25,109 THAT IS A REALLY WEIRD LAUGH. 1321 00:50:25,152 --> 00:50:27,676 THAT SOUNDS WORSE THAN I REMEMBER. 1322 00:50:28,938 --> 00:50:31,028 RACE ME TO THE OCEAN. [LAUGHS] 1323 00:50:34,770 --> 00:50:37,251 [AIRPLANE ROARING] 1324 00:50:50,569 --> 00:50:52,440 ♪ I CAN SEE IT, I CAN SEE IT ♪ 1325 00:50:52,484 --> 00:50:54,486 ♪ I CAN SEE IT, I CAN SEE IT NOW ♪ 1326 00:50:57,054 --> 00:50:59,099 ♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ♪ 1327 00:50:59,143 --> 00:51:02,015 ♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT IT... ♪ 1328 00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:04,235 WHAT IS SHE SCARED OF, THE BEACH POLICE? 1329 00:51:04,278 --> 00:51:05,279 [LAUGHS] THEY'RE GONNA GET US? 1330 00:51:05,323 --> 00:51:06,889 THEY'RE GONNA GET YOU! 1331 00:51:06,933 --> 00:51:08,369 ♪ I CAN SEE IT NOW 1332 00:51:10,154 --> 00:51:12,156 ♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO... ♪ 1333 00:51:12,852 --> 00:51:16,029 FREEZE! FREEZE! IT'S THE BEACH POLICE! 1334 00:51:16,073 --> 00:51:18,336 ♪ AND I WILL FOLD MY ARMS 1335 00:51:18,379 --> 00:51:21,730 ♪ FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS 1336 00:51:23,167 --> 00:51:24,907 ♪ AND YOU CAN CLOSE YOUR EYES ♪ 1337 00:51:24,951 --> 00:51:27,127 ♪ FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE ♪ 1338 00:51:27,171 --> 00:51:29,303 [LAUGHING] 1339 00:51:29,347 --> 00:51:31,349 ♪ AND WE CAN SHUT OUR MOUTHS ♪ 1340 00:51:31,392 --> 00:51:34,395 ♪ FOR THE REST OF THIS LIFE ♪ 1341 00:51:36,093 --> 00:51:38,530 ♪ AND WE CAN TURN AROUND 1342 00:51:38,573 --> 00:51:40,836 ♪ AND NOT ASK WHY. 1343 00:51:43,839 --> 00:51:44,840 FEEL. 1344 00:51:44,884 --> 00:51:46,755 YOU KNOW THE FEEL. 1345 00:51:46,799 --> 00:51:48,583 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1346 00:51:53,284 --> 00:51:55,547 [ALISON LAUGHS] 1347 00:51:55,590 --> 00:51:57,592 IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 1348 00:52:01,161 --> 00:52:02,641 [AMPLIFIED] GET OUT OF THERE! 1349 00:52:02,684 --> 00:52:04,164 [SONG ENDS] 1350 00:52:04,208 --> 00:52:05,426 COME OUT OF THERE. 1351 00:52:08,951 --> 00:52:10,388 [NORMAL] WHAT, YOU CAN'T READ? 1352 00:52:10,431 --> 00:52:12,172 WE CLOSE AT SUNSET. 1353 00:52:12,216 --> 00:52:13,608 YOU CAN'T CLOSE THE OCEAN. 1354 00:52:13,652 --> 00:52:15,044 THAT'S TOTALLY ABSURD. 1355 00:52:15,088 --> 00:52:17,177 WELL, UNFORTUNATELY IT'S ALSO MY JOB. 1356 00:52:17,221 --> 00:52:18,265 BUT WE'RE HAVING FUN. 1357 00:52:18,309 --> 00:52:20,441 I CAN SEE THAT. 1358 00:52:20,485 --> 00:52:21,529 - WE'RE SO HIGH. - OH, NO. 1359 00:52:21,573 --> 00:52:22,791 - PARDON ME? - SHH. 1360 00:52:22,835 --> 00:52:24,445 YOU'RE NOT GONNA ARREST US, ARE YOU? 1361 00:52:24,489 --> 00:52:26,099 IS THAT WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE? ARE YOU ARRESTING-- 1362 00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:27,622 I CAN'T GO TO JAIL. I HAVE KIDS, SIR. 1363 00:52:27,666 --> 00:52:29,407 I HAVE KIDS. I HAVE KIDS. I HAVE A KID. 1364 00:52:29,450 --> 00:52:31,452 I HAVE ONLY ONE, BUT SHE'S SO ATTACHED TO ME. 1365 00:52:31,496 --> 00:52:35,064 CALM DOWN. I DON'T HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO ARREST ANYBODY, 1366 00:52:35,108 --> 00:52:37,545 BUT IF YOU PEOPLE DON'T MAKE IT TO YOUR VEHICLES 1367 00:52:37,589 --> 00:52:38,677 IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS, 1368 00:52:38,720 --> 00:52:41,332 THEN I'M GOING TO CALL SOMEONE WHO CAN. 1369 00:52:41,375 --> 00:52:42,768 - THANK YOU. - AND PUT ON SOME CLOTHES! 1370 00:52:42,811 --> 00:52:43,812 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 1371 00:52:48,948 --> 00:52:51,516 UM... 1372 00:52:51,559 --> 00:52:52,908 WHERE'S THE CAR? 1373 00:52:52,952 --> 00:52:54,475 THE CAR? WHERE ARE OUR CLOTHES? 1374 00:52:54,519 --> 00:52:56,216 [ALISON] DO YOU THINK SOMEONE STOLE THEM? 1375 00:52:56,260 --> 00:52:57,739 YEAH, PEOPLE JUST LURK AROUND PARKING LOTS 1376 00:52:57,783 --> 00:52:58,958 LOOKING TO STEAL CLOTHES. 1377 00:52:59,001 --> 00:53:01,352 WELL, OBVIOUSLY SOMEONE TOOK THEM. 1378 00:53:01,395 --> 00:53:03,005 MAYBE WE'RE JUST IN THE WRONG LOT. 1379 00:53:03,049 --> 00:53:05,094 ARE THERE OTHER LOTS? 1380 00:53:05,138 --> 00:53:06,444 SURE, ALL UP AND DOWN THE BEACH. 1381 00:53:06,487 --> 00:53:08,359 WHAT ARE YOU TALK-- IT'S OBVIOUS WHAT HAPPENED. 1382 00:53:08,402 --> 00:53:10,448 YOUR SCREWY DRIVER LEFT US. 1383 00:53:10,491 --> 00:53:11,797 [SCOFFS] MY DRIVER? 1384 00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:16,062 THE DRIVER THAT YOU HIRED LEFT US HERE, YEAH. 1385 00:53:16,105 --> 00:53:17,759 OH, SO IT'S MY FAULT? 1386 00:53:17,803 --> 00:53:19,239 CATEGORICALLY YOUR FAULT. 1387 00:53:19,283 --> 00:53:21,067 YOU KNOW, EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO GIVE YOU A TIME-OUT 1388 00:53:21,110 --> 00:53:23,156 FROM THE BORING BLACK HOLE YOU CALL A LIFE. 1389 00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:24,331 THIS WAS NEVER ABOUT ME. 1390 00:53:24,375 --> 00:53:25,898 DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DID THIS ALL FOR ME. 1391 00:53:25,941 --> 00:53:28,074 THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN EXCUSE FOR YOU 1392 00:53:28,117 --> 00:53:29,597 TO TAKE A BREAK FROM YOUR PROBLEMS. 1393 00:53:29,641 --> 00:53:31,556 NOTHING'S WRONG WITH MY LIFE. 1394 00:53:31,599 --> 00:53:33,862 I'M NOT THE ONE WHO WISHES HE DIDN'T DROP OUT OF GRAD SCHOOL 1395 00:53:33,906 --> 00:53:35,124 TO BECOME A PREP SCHOOL TEACHER. 1396 00:53:35,168 --> 00:53:37,083 NO YOU'RE THE ONE THAT GOT A WOMAN PREGNANT 1397 00:53:37,126 --> 00:53:38,780 THAT YOU HATE, THEN MARRIED HER. 1398 00:53:38,824 --> 00:53:39,781 AT LEAST SHE'S STRAIGHT. 1399 00:53:39,825 --> 00:53:41,130 CAN WE GET BACK TO THE FACT 1400 00:53:41,174 --> 00:53:42,741 THAT WE'RE STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE 1401 00:53:42,784 --> 00:53:44,308 WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES ON? 1402 00:53:44,351 --> 00:53:46,962 YEAH, ONLY, SOME OF US MANAGED TO RETAIN OUR BRASSIERES. 1403 00:53:47,006 --> 00:53:48,703 OKAY, ALL RIGHT, OKAY. 1404 00:53:48,747 --> 00:53:50,749 IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A FEDERAL CASE ABOUT THIS, 1405 00:53:50,792 --> 00:53:53,360 I'M SORRY THAT I'M NOT ASHAMED ABOUT MY BODY 1406 00:53:53,404 --> 00:53:55,014 AND THAT I DON'T ROLL OUT OF BED 1407 00:53:55,057 --> 00:53:56,624 AND JUST THROW ON THE OLD YOGA PANTS, 1408 00:53:56,668 --> 00:53:58,060 THROW MY SPLIT ENDS IN A PONYTAIL, 1409 00:53:58,104 --> 00:53:59,714 AND WALK OUT THE DOOR. 1410 00:53:59,758 --> 00:54:03,109 WELL, I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT THAN MY APPEARANCE. 1411 00:54:03,152 --> 00:54:05,590 OF COURSE. THE PRESSING ISSUE OF GETTING TO KINDER BALLET 1412 00:54:05,633 --> 00:54:07,809 AND SWIM LESSONS WITHOUT LOSING THE STRING CHEESE. RIGHT. I FORGOT. 1413 00:54:07,853 --> 00:54:09,246 OH, IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT? 1414 00:54:09,289 --> 00:54:11,465 YOU'RE JEALOUS THAT I'M A MOM. 1415 00:54:11,509 --> 00:54:12,814 WELL, I'M SORRY. 1416 00:54:12,858 --> 00:54:14,860 I'M SORRY THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE A BABY. 1417 00:54:16,340 --> 00:54:18,124 I AM SORRY. 1418 00:54:18,167 --> 00:54:19,604 I'M SO SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN THAT. 1419 00:54:19,647 --> 00:54:21,823 NO, DON'T BE. 1420 00:54:21,867 --> 00:54:24,043 I ACTUALLY-- I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. 1421 00:54:24,086 --> 00:54:27,307 'CAUSE YOU THINK IT'S EVERY WOMAN'S GOAL IN LIFE TO BE A MOTHER. 1422 00:54:27,351 --> 00:54:31,398 JAKE FEELS THE SAME WAY, AND HE ALMOST CONVINCED ME. 1423 00:54:31,442 --> 00:54:34,532 BUT YOU KNOW THE FIRST THOUGHT I HAD WHEN I GOT PREGNANT 1424 00:54:34,575 --> 00:54:36,142 WAS, "NO, 1425 00:54:36,185 --> 00:54:37,752 I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP MY AMBITIONS 1426 00:54:37,796 --> 00:54:41,016 AND MY HOPE AND MY IDENTITY 1427 00:54:41,060 --> 00:54:42,148 THE WAY ALISON DID," 1428 00:54:42,191 --> 00:54:44,019 SO I GOT RID OF IT. 1429 00:54:45,325 --> 00:54:46,761 WHAT? 1430 00:54:46,805 --> 00:54:48,894 I HAD AN ABORTION, ALISON. 1431 00:54:48,937 --> 00:54:50,896 NO, YOU DIDN'T. 1432 00:54:50,939 --> 00:54:54,987 I DID, AND THEN I HID IT FROM YOU, BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND. 1433 00:54:57,381 --> 00:54:58,991 AND I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS. 1434 00:55:00,384 --> 00:55:02,560 YOU HAD AN ABORTION, 1435 00:55:02,603 --> 00:55:03,648 YOU RUINED YOUR MARRIAGE, 1436 00:55:03,691 --> 00:55:04,910 AND YOU MOVED BACK IN WITH OUR MOM 1437 00:55:04,953 --> 00:55:06,346 SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE LIKE ME? 1438 00:55:07,608 --> 00:55:10,568 WELL, AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T HURT MY FEELINGS. 1439 00:55:10,611 --> 00:55:12,004 [CLARK] WAIT. WHAT DID-- 1440 00:55:12,047 --> 00:55:13,048 WHERE'S SHE GOING? 1441 00:55:14,528 --> 00:55:16,356 YOU CAN'T GO UP THERE DRESSED LIKE THAT! WAIT! 1442 00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:18,227 NO, YOU'RE GONNA END UP ON A MILK CARTON! 1443 00:55:22,014 --> 00:55:24,321 IT'S COMING! 1444 00:55:24,364 --> 00:55:26,801 [SOBBING] 1445 00:55:30,457 --> 00:55:31,937 GO ON. GET IN. 1446 00:55:35,027 --> 00:55:36,245 WHY'D YOU DRIVE AWAY? 1447 00:55:36,289 --> 00:55:37,290 TOLD YOU THERE WAS NO PARKING. 1448 00:55:37,334 --> 00:55:38,683 COP WAS GONNA GIVE ME A TICKET. 1449 00:55:39,466 --> 00:55:40,554 WHERE ARE OUR CLOTHES? 1450 00:55:40,598 --> 00:55:42,034 WHAT CLOTHES? 1451 00:55:43,427 --> 00:55:44,428 PSYCH. 1452 00:55:46,125 --> 00:55:47,909 HONESTLY, I WOULD HAVE LEFT YOU GUYS HERE, 1453 00:55:47,953 --> 00:55:49,824 BUT AFTER ALL THAT, I DIDN'T WANT TO FOREGO 1454 00:55:49,868 --> 00:55:51,435 THE ENORMOUS TIP YOU WERE GONNA GIVE ME. 1455 00:55:51,478 --> 00:55:52,914 I'M SUPPOSED TO GIVE YOU A TIP? 1456 00:55:52,958 --> 00:55:54,438 I'M GONNA PRETEND I DIDN'T HEAR THAT. 1457 00:55:54,481 --> 00:55:56,962 JUST SO YOU KNOW, NEXT TANK OF GAS IS ON YOU GUYS. 1458 00:55:57,005 --> 00:55:59,007 I GOT THE ALL-INCLUSIVE DELUXE PACKAGE. 1459 00:56:01,836 --> 00:56:03,882 OKAY, FINE. I'LL BUY THE GAS. 1460 00:56:19,593 --> 00:56:21,813 [DOG BARKING] 1461 00:56:34,565 --> 00:56:37,350 FINE. I'LL SAY IT. 1462 00:56:37,394 --> 00:56:39,308 YOU WERE RIGHT. 1463 00:56:39,352 --> 00:56:41,354 THIS WHOLE NIGHT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA. 1464 00:56:41,398 --> 00:56:42,573 I'M SORRY. 1465 00:56:42,616 --> 00:56:44,052 [IDA] I'M SORRY, TOO. 1466 00:56:45,663 --> 00:56:48,666 I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY ALL THAT STUFF I SAID BACK THERE. 1467 00:56:48,709 --> 00:56:50,058 I KNOW YOU ARE. 1468 00:56:50,102 --> 00:56:52,452 I AM, TOO. 1469 00:56:52,496 --> 00:56:54,454 I'M NOT SORRY. 1470 00:56:54,498 --> 00:56:55,847 WELL, THAT'S VERY BIG OF YOU. 1471 00:56:55,890 --> 00:56:57,805 YEAH. I WAS HAVING FUN OUT THERE. 1472 00:56:57,849 --> 00:57:00,155 BEFORE ALL THE SAVAGE HONESTY BEGAN, RIGHT, 1473 00:57:00,199 --> 00:57:01,635 THAT WAS-- THAT WAS FUN. 1474 00:57:01,679 --> 00:57:02,636 SURE. 1475 00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:03,768 [ALISON] I GUESS. 1476 00:57:03,811 --> 00:57:05,465 AND THE NIGHT'S NOT OVER YET. 1477 00:57:05,509 --> 00:57:06,466 YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT? 1478 00:57:07,815 --> 00:57:09,208 I'M DONE. 1479 00:57:09,251 --> 00:57:10,209 [ALISON] DITTO. 1480 00:57:10,252 --> 00:57:11,515 STICK A FORK IN ME. 1481 00:57:11,558 --> 00:57:15,301 WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTA DO, GO HOME, GET INTO BED, 1482 00:57:15,344 --> 00:57:17,695 PICK DIANE'S LONG, BRISTLY HAIRS OFF THE PILLOW, 1483 00:57:17,738 --> 00:57:20,741 WAIT FOR HER TO GET HOME TOMORROW, BUG YOU ABOUT CLEANING THE LITTER BOX. 1484 00:57:20,785 --> 00:57:22,830 THAT'S THE FIRST THING SHE'S GONNA DO WHEN SHE WAKES UP. 1485 00:57:22,874 --> 00:57:24,789 WHY DON'T YOU CLEAN IT BEFORE SHE GETS UP? 1486 00:57:24,832 --> 00:57:26,965 NOT A CHANCE. 1487 00:57:27,008 --> 00:57:28,880 ARE YOU DESPERATE TO GET BACK TO YOUR MOM'S RETIREMENT COMMUNITY IN RANCHO MIRAGE? 1488 00:57:28,923 --> 00:57:31,448 OKAY, IT'S PALM DESERT, SWEATPANTS, 1489 00:57:31,491 --> 00:57:32,623 AND YOU KIND OF HAVE A VALID POINT. 1490 00:57:32,666 --> 00:57:34,668 WHEN'S THE LAST TIME THAT YOU WERE OUT 1491 00:57:34,712 --> 00:57:36,583 WITHOUT YOUR HUSBAND OR DAUGHTER? 1492 00:57:36,627 --> 00:57:37,932 LET'S FACE IT. YOUR SOCIAL LIFE 1493 00:57:37,976 --> 00:57:39,064 ISN'T THAT MUCH DIFFERENT THAN MINE. 1494 00:57:39,107 --> 00:57:40,848 OKAY, THAT'S JUST PLAIN MEAN. 1495 00:57:40,892 --> 00:57:44,896 SO WHAT ARE YOU SUGGESTING? 1496 00:57:46,027 --> 00:57:47,986 BETTY, HI. 1497 00:57:48,029 --> 00:57:49,204 WHEN YOU'RE DONE REFUELING, 1498 00:57:49,248 --> 00:57:51,250 COULD YOU TAKE US SOMEPLACE BEAUTIFUL? 1499 00:58:00,999 --> 00:58:02,391 IT'S A STRANGE CITY, ISN'T IT? 1500 00:58:02,435 --> 00:58:04,306 ALWAYS LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER AT NIGHT. 1501 00:58:05,438 --> 00:58:07,179 AND FROM FAR AWAY. 1502 00:58:07,222 --> 00:58:08,963 I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE WOULD WANT TO LIVE IN A CITY 1503 00:58:09,007 --> 00:58:12,010 THAT'S SO CLEARLY UNSUITED TO SUSTAIN LIFE. 1504 00:58:14,229 --> 00:58:16,144 WE SHOULD SLEEP TOGETHER. 1505 00:58:17,624 --> 00:58:19,539 - EXCUSE ME? - I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT. 1506 00:58:19,583 --> 00:58:21,106 YOU HAD MENTIONED IT EARLIER, 1507 00:58:21,149 --> 00:58:24,413 AND I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN ONTO SOMETHING. 1508 00:58:26,546 --> 00:58:27,982 I'M CONFUSED AND UNHAPPY, 1509 00:58:28,026 --> 00:58:29,375 AND YOU'RE CONFUSED AND UNHAPPY, 1510 00:58:29,418 --> 00:58:30,855 AND YOU THINK I'M NICE, 1511 00:58:30,898 --> 00:58:32,639 AND I THINK YOU'RE STUNNING AND INTERESTING 1512 00:58:32,683 --> 00:58:37,775 AND QUITE POSSIBLY THE MOST TERRIFYING WOMAN I'VE EVER MET. 1513 00:58:37,818 --> 00:58:39,820 OKAY, I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. 1514 00:58:39,864 --> 00:58:40,691 HE'S NOT. 1515 00:58:40,734 --> 00:58:43,302 I AM. WHY SHOULDN'T WE? 1516 00:58:43,345 --> 00:58:45,043 MIGHT DO US SOME GOOD. 1517 00:58:45,086 --> 00:58:47,219 STOP EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. 1518 00:58:47,262 --> 00:58:49,177 SHE WAS JUST MAKING FUN OF US BEFORE. 1519 00:58:51,092 --> 00:58:52,485 WERE YOU? 1520 00:58:54,008 --> 00:58:56,663 NO, NOT-- NOT ENTIRELY. 1521 00:58:56,707 --> 00:58:58,709 OH, COME ON. ADMIT IT. 1522 00:58:59,623 --> 00:59:01,233 YOU'D NEVER SLEEP WITH A GUY LIKE HIM. 1523 00:59:01,276 --> 00:59:03,061 OKAY, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME, 1524 00:59:03,104 --> 00:59:04,976 AND YOU DON'T GIVE YOUR FRIEND ENOUGH CREDIT HERE. 1525 00:59:05,019 --> 00:59:07,021 HE'S A REALLY UNIQUE PERSON. 1526 00:59:07,065 --> 00:59:08,240 IDA. 1527 00:59:08,283 --> 00:59:10,416 YOU KNOW WILL'S RIGHT. 1528 00:59:10,459 --> 00:59:13,071 YOU TWO CAN ARGUE AND JOKE AROUND 1529 00:59:13,114 --> 00:59:14,551 AND EVEN FLIRT ALL NIGHT LONG, 1530 00:59:14,594 --> 00:59:17,249 BUT THE HARD TRUTH IS PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE YOU 1531 00:59:17,292 --> 00:59:19,860 DON'T SLEEP WITH GUYS LIKE HIM. 1532 00:59:19,904 --> 00:59:21,993 UNLESS MAYBE HE HAD A PRIVATE JET OR SOMETHING. 1533 00:59:22,036 --> 00:59:23,951 WOW, THAT'S REALLY A TERRIBLE THING TO SAY. 1534 00:59:23,995 --> 00:59:25,431 'CAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH? 1535 00:59:25,474 --> 00:59:27,607 OKAY, YOU TWO HAVE NO RIGHT 1536 00:59:27,651 --> 00:59:29,609 TO GIVE ANYONE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE. 1537 00:59:30,697 --> 00:59:32,220 COME ON, LOVER BOY. 1538 00:59:42,317 --> 00:59:43,144 SHE'S BLUFFING. 1539 00:59:43,188 --> 00:59:45,494 I KNOW. 1540 00:59:45,538 --> 00:59:48,802 [SCOFFS] IT'S RIDICULOUS. 1541 00:59:48,846 --> 00:59:50,282 WHERE YOU GOING? 1542 00:59:50,325 --> 00:59:51,762 I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M NOT GONNA STAND AROUND LIKE A FOOL 1543 00:59:51,805 --> 00:59:53,807 WHILE THEY ARE DOING WHATEVER THEY'RE DOING IN THERE. 1544 00:59:54,634 --> 00:59:55,592 WAIT. 1545 01:00:01,859 --> 01:00:04,078 WAS THAT ALL FOR THEIR BENEFIT? 1546 01:00:04,122 --> 01:00:05,602 I DON'T KNOW. 1547 01:00:06,994 --> 01:00:08,474 GUESS YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIND OUT. 1548 01:00:15,699 --> 01:00:16,743 HMM. 1549 01:00:19,180 --> 01:00:21,139 I LIKE THIS DECISIVE NEW YOU. 1550 01:00:21,182 --> 01:00:22,662 YEAH. IT'S WORKING PRETTY WELL SO FAR. 1551 01:00:22,706 --> 01:00:25,622 ALTHOUGH, BETTY CAN YOU SEE US? 1552 01:00:25,665 --> 01:00:27,624 THERE ARE SOME SECURITY CAMERAS. 1553 01:00:30,409 --> 01:00:32,629 ARE YOU ALLOWED TO TURN THEM OFF? 1554 01:00:32,672 --> 01:00:34,326 [BETTY] NOT A CHANCE. 1555 01:00:34,369 --> 01:00:37,938 WAIT. ARE YOU GUYS PLANNING ON HAVING SEX IN MY CAR? 1556 01:00:37,982 --> 01:00:38,939 MAYBE. 1557 01:00:39,766 --> 01:00:41,115 [BETTY] THEN DON'T WORRY 1558 01:00:41,159 --> 01:00:42,987 I'D RATHER CLAW MY OWN EYES OUT THAN WATCH YOU. 1559 01:00:44,553 --> 01:00:45,642 THANK YOU? 1560 01:00:45,685 --> 01:00:49,515 ALSO THERE'S A TRASH BIN. USE IT. 1561 01:00:50,734 --> 01:00:52,083 PRETEND I DIDN'T HEAR THAT. 1562 01:00:52,126 --> 01:00:53,867 THAT'S SO-- YEAH. 1563 01:00:53,911 --> 01:00:56,522 [CRICKETS CHIRPING] 1564 01:00:56,565 --> 01:00:58,959 PROBABLY HAVING SEX RIGHT NOW. 1565 01:00:59,003 --> 01:01:00,831 CAN YOU IMAGINE? 1566 01:01:00,874 --> 01:01:02,920 I'D RATHER NOT. 1567 01:01:02,963 --> 01:01:05,836 I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT. 1568 01:01:05,879 --> 01:01:07,315 I COULD NEVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE I JUST MET, 1569 01:01:07,359 --> 01:01:09,535 NO MATTER HOW ATTRACTED TO HIM I WAS. 1570 01:01:09,578 --> 01:01:11,929 [CHUCKLES] GOOD FOR YOU. 1571 01:01:11,972 --> 01:01:15,062 DON'T BE A JERK. 1572 01:01:15,106 --> 01:01:18,326 MAYBE YOU AND IDA ARE RIGHT. MAYBE I'M FRIGID. 1573 01:01:18,370 --> 01:01:20,328 YOU ARE NOT FRIGID. 1574 01:01:20,372 --> 01:01:21,373 HOW DO YOU KNOW? 1575 01:01:22,679 --> 01:01:24,115 JUST A FEELING. 1576 01:01:26,378 --> 01:01:27,814 ARE YOU IMPLYING SOMETHING? 1577 01:01:27,858 --> 01:01:29,729 OF COURSE NOT. 1578 01:01:29,773 --> 01:01:33,211 BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE FEELING BACK THERE AT THE BEACH. 1579 01:01:33,254 --> 01:01:34,734 ME? I WASN'T FEELING ANYTHING. 1580 01:01:34,778 --> 01:01:36,214 WHAT COULD I HAVE POSSIBLY BEEN FEELING? 1581 01:01:36,257 --> 01:01:37,737 I WOULDN'T KNOW. 1582 01:01:37,781 --> 01:01:38,956 NEITHER WOULD I. 1583 01:01:38,999 --> 01:01:40,740 GOOD, BECAUSE I WASN'T FEELING ANYTHING, 1584 01:01:40,784 --> 01:01:42,220 AND I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT. 1585 01:01:42,263 --> 01:01:44,483 OBVIOUSLY. NEITHER WAS I. 1586 01:01:44,526 --> 01:01:45,527 OBVIOUSLY. 1587 01:01:47,486 --> 01:01:48,922 BUT EVEN IF I WAS... 1588 01:01:48,966 --> 01:01:50,184 FEELING SOMETHING? 1589 01:01:50,228 --> 01:01:51,185 WHICH I WASN'T. 1590 01:01:51,229 --> 01:01:52,709 OF COURSE NOT. 1591 01:01:54,362 --> 01:01:56,190 I WOULD NEVER ACT ON IT. 1592 01:01:58,802 --> 01:02:00,281 BECAUSE YOU'RE FRIGID? 1593 01:02:03,154 --> 01:02:05,112 BECAUSE I'M MARRIED. 1594 01:02:05,156 --> 01:02:06,853 OH, YEAH. THAT, TOO. 1595 01:02:17,864 --> 01:02:19,431 OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE BEING ABSURD. 1596 01:02:19,474 --> 01:02:20,911 - SORRY. I'M NOT-- - JUST KISS ME. 1597 01:02:20,954 --> 01:02:23,261 - I'M NOT GONNA BITE YOU. - SORRY. 1598 01:02:26,786 --> 01:02:28,222 - DID I-- WHAT? - NO. I DON'T KNOW. 1599 01:02:28,266 --> 01:02:29,789 - I DON'T KNOW. - OKAY. 1600 01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:31,312 I DON'T KNOW. THAT WAS WEIRD. SORRY. 1601 01:02:31,356 --> 01:02:32,792 OKAY. THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 1602 01:02:32,836 --> 01:02:34,402 OKAY, NOW YOU'RE MAKING ME ALL WEIRD. 1603 01:02:34,446 --> 01:02:35,882 - NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT IT. - SORRY. 1604 01:02:35,926 --> 01:02:37,101 I'VE KISSED, LIKE, HUNDREDS OF GUYS. 1605 01:02:37,144 --> 01:02:38,319 SO WHY IS THIS SO WEIRD? 1606 01:02:38,363 --> 01:02:39,320 - I DON'T KNOW. - OKAY. 1607 01:02:39,364 --> 01:02:40,321 HUNDREDS? OH. 1608 01:02:40,365 --> 01:02:42,671 BUT, OK, SO HOW ABOUT... 1609 01:02:42,715 --> 01:02:44,151 COUNT OF THREE? 1610 01:02:44,195 --> 01:02:45,674 - ALL RIGHT. 1611 01:02:45,718 --> 01:02:49,243 - OKAY. - 1, 2, 3. 1612 01:02:54,074 --> 01:02:55,293 YOU OKAY? 1613 01:02:55,336 --> 01:02:56,773 [SNIFFLES] 1614 01:02:56,816 --> 01:02:58,557 UM... 1615 01:02:58,600 --> 01:02:59,819 NO, I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD. 1616 01:02:59,863 --> 01:03:02,213 THIS ISN'T-- THIS ISN'T 'CAUSE OF YOU. 1617 01:03:02,256 --> 01:03:03,823 - UM... - IDA. 1618 01:03:06,434 --> 01:03:08,480 YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THI-- WE DON'T-- THIS IS SILLY FOR-- 1619 01:03:08,523 --> 01:03:10,395 I WANT-- I WANT TO DO THIS. 1620 01:03:10,438 --> 01:03:13,528 YOU OBVIOUSLY STILL LOVE YOUR HUSBAND, AND... 1621 01:03:13,572 --> 01:03:14,225 IT'S OBVIOUS? 1622 01:03:14,268 --> 01:03:15,487 YEAH. 1623 01:03:16,836 --> 01:03:17,794 FUCK... 1624 01:03:19,230 --> 01:03:20,884 GOD, LOVE IS THE WORST, ISN'T IT? 1625 01:03:20,927 --> 01:03:22,450 YEAH, IT REALLY IS. 1626 01:03:25,802 --> 01:03:26,890 I'M SO SORRY. 1627 01:03:26,933 --> 01:03:28,239 NO, DON'T, PLEASE. 1628 01:03:28,282 --> 01:03:30,415 DON'T SAY THAT. THIS WAS WONDERFUL. 1629 01:03:30,458 --> 01:03:34,201 THIS REALLY-- THIS WAS ENOUGH FOR ME. 1630 01:03:45,212 --> 01:03:47,388 AH, SEX IS THE WORST. 1631 01:03:48,694 --> 01:03:50,522 - YOU DON'T MEAN THAT. - YES, I DO. 1632 01:03:51,915 --> 01:03:53,003 IF YOU ARE FRIGID, 1633 01:03:54,004 --> 01:03:55,440 YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL. 1634 01:03:56,180 --> 01:03:58,051 WITH MY SEXLESS EXISTENCE? 1635 01:03:58,095 --> 01:03:59,096 EXACTLY. 1636 01:04:00,271 --> 01:04:01,925 MY WIFE AND I WERE HAVING SEX 1637 01:04:01,968 --> 01:04:04,188 HALFWAY THROUGH OUR FIRST CONVERSATION. 1638 01:04:04,231 --> 01:04:06,364 - AND THAT'S BAD? - YOU HAVE NO IDEA. 1639 01:04:06,407 --> 01:04:08,192 WE USED TO DO IT ALL THE TIME, 1640 01:04:08,235 --> 01:04:09,758 NOT JUST ORDINARY SEX. 1641 01:04:09,802 --> 01:04:11,021 IT WAS GREAT. 1642 01:04:11,064 --> 01:04:12,849 GREAT SEX? 1643 01:04:12,892 --> 01:04:14,807 SOUNDS TERRIBLE. 1644 01:04:14,851 --> 01:04:17,331 WELL, UNTIL WE STOPPED TO CATCH OUR BREATH 1645 01:04:17,375 --> 01:04:19,029 AND REALIZED THAT EXCEPT FOR IN BED, 1646 01:04:19,072 --> 01:04:20,900 WE ARE COMPLETELY INCOMPATIBLE. 1647 01:04:22,554 --> 01:04:24,338 AT LEAST YOU'RE COMPATIBLE IN BED. 1648 01:04:24,382 --> 01:04:25,949 YEAH, WELL, THOSE YEARS ARE LONG GONE. 1649 01:04:27,994 --> 01:04:29,604 YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 1650 01:04:29,648 --> 01:04:30,910 YEAH? 1651 01:04:30,954 --> 01:04:34,479 SIMON AND I USED TO JUST BE INSATIABLE, 1652 01:04:34,522 --> 01:04:35,523 AND NOW-- 1653 01:04:37,134 --> 01:04:39,484 NEVER MIND. I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M TELLING YOU THIS. 1654 01:04:39,527 --> 01:04:41,660 -WHAT? -YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND. 1655 01:04:41,703 --> 01:04:43,096 WHAT? I'M SMARTER THAN I LOOK. 1656 01:04:43,140 --> 01:04:44,619 YEAH, YOU'D HAVE TO BE. 1657 01:04:44,663 --> 01:04:46,230 [CHUCKLES] THANK YOU. 1658 01:04:46,273 --> 01:04:47,274 YOU OLD CHARMER. 1659 01:04:50,321 --> 01:04:51,757 I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS... 1660 01:04:54,194 --> 01:04:56,022 HE USED TO TOUCH ME, AND I... 1661 01:04:57,197 --> 01:04:58,198 I LOVED IT. 1662 01:04:58,242 --> 01:04:59,896 I MEAN, IT REALLY TURNED ME ON, 1663 01:04:59,939 --> 01:05:00,897 AND THEN... 1664 01:05:02,072 --> 01:05:04,901 SOMETHING HAPPENED AFTER SARA WAS BORN. 1665 01:05:07,773 --> 01:05:09,035 WE WERE HAVING SEX, 1666 01:05:09,079 --> 01:05:11,995 AND HE WAS KISSING MY BREASTS, AND I... 1667 01:05:13,779 --> 01:05:17,478 MY DAUGHTER HAD JUST BEEN BREAST-FEEDING 1668 01:05:17,522 --> 01:05:19,089 30 MINUTES BEFORE, 1669 01:05:19,132 --> 01:05:21,221 AND SHE WAS GONNA BE BREAST-FEEDING AGAIN IN TWO HOURS, 1670 01:05:21,265 --> 01:05:24,703 AND I LOOKED DOWN AT MY... 1671 01:05:26,313 --> 01:05:29,142 I LOOKED AT MY VAGINA, AND IT JUST LOOKED SAD, 1672 01:05:29,186 --> 01:05:31,318 JUST LOOKED SO TIRED, LIKE I'M DONE, 1673 01:05:31,362 --> 01:05:33,190 LIKE I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE, AND I-- 1674 01:05:34,365 --> 01:05:37,411 I DON'T-- I'M-- I DON'T KNOW. 1675 01:05:38,456 --> 01:05:39,936 THAT WAS IT. 1676 01:05:39,979 --> 01:05:40,937 IT WAS LIKE... 1677 01:05:42,982 --> 01:05:45,245 THE PASSIONATE PART OF MY LIFE WAS OVER, 1678 01:05:45,289 --> 01:05:48,205 AND THAT WAS OKAY, 1679 01:05:48,248 --> 01:05:52,339 'CAUSE I LOVE MY DAUGHTER, 1680 01:05:52,383 --> 01:05:54,515 AND I LOVE MY HUSBAND. 1681 01:05:56,300 --> 01:05:59,042 THAT'S-- I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S ENOUGH. 1682 01:06:01,131 --> 01:06:03,568 HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU'VE HAD SEX? 1683 01:06:06,440 --> 01:06:08,442 LIKE NINE MONTHS. 1684 01:06:10,009 --> 01:06:11,489 YOU DON'T MISS IT? 1685 01:06:14,971 --> 01:06:17,016 HOW LONG FOR YOU? 1686 01:06:17,060 --> 01:06:20,846 WELL, FOR ME, IT'S, I GUESS, FOUR MONTHS, 1687 01:06:20,889 --> 01:06:23,588 THREE DAYS, AND ABOUT SIX HOURS. 1688 01:06:23,631 --> 01:06:24,850 -SIX HOURS? -YEAH. 1689 01:06:28,462 --> 01:06:30,638 WELL, WHO NEEDS SEX, ANYWAY? 1690 01:06:30,682 --> 01:06:32,336 THERE YOU GO. 1691 01:06:32,379 --> 01:06:33,902 THAT'S-- THAT'S THE SPIRIT. 1692 01:06:35,861 --> 01:06:37,341 I DON'T NEED IT. 1693 01:06:39,386 --> 01:06:41,780 DEFINITELY NOT. 1694 01:06:41,823 --> 01:06:43,303 YEAH, NOT US. 1695 01:06:54,097 --> 01:06:55,489 IS THIS A GOOD IDEA? 1696 01:06:59,058 --> 01:07:00,755 I REALLY DON'T THINK SO. 1697 01:07:00,799 --> 01:07:03,410 YEAH, PROBABLY NOT. 1698 01:07:03,454 --> 01:07:05,760 ♪ I WOULD SAY 1699 01:07:05,804 --> 01:07:10,678 ♪ I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING ♪ 1700 01:07:10,722 --> 01:07:16,728 ♪ BUT I KNOW ALL THE GOOD WILL BE GONE ♪ 1701 01:07:17,772 --> 01:07:19,948 ♪ IT IS CLEAR 1702 01:07:19,992 --> 01:07:24,518 ♪ YOU SADLY HAVE TO LEAVE NOW ♪ 1703 01:07:24,562 --> 01:07:28,957 ♪ SO I'LL WAVE GOOD-BYE 1704 01:07:29,001 --> 01:07:31,047 ♪ GOOD HEART. 1705 01:08:01,947 --> 01:08:03,122 [CELL PHONE CHIMES] 1706 01:08:04,167 --> 01:08:05,124 [CELL PHONE CHIMES] 1707 01:08:07,866 --> 01:08:08,867 SHIT. 1708 01:08:09,563 --> 01:08:11,870 -SHIT. -WHAT'S THE MATTER? 1709 01:08:11,913 --> 01:08:14,742 OH, NOTHING. I ONLY JUST MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. 1710 01:08:15,700 --> 01:08:16,701 YOU MEAN ME. 1711 01:08:17,832 --> 01:08:18,833 I DON'T MEAN YOU. 1712 01:08:18,877 --> 01:08:19,878 I JUST MEAN THE WHOLE-- 1713 01:08:19,921 --> 01:08:22,881 NAH, IT'S OKAY. I GET IT. 1714 01:08:22,924 --> 01:08:25,101 I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. 1715 01:08:40,942 --> 01:08:42,814 THEY'LL BE BACK SOON. 1716 01:08:42,857 --> 01:08:44,424 ALISON'S JUST TRYING TO MAKE A POINT. 1717 01:08:44,468 --> 01:08:45,556 WHAT POINT? 1718 01:08:45,599 --> 01:08:46,948 WHO KNOWS? 1719 01:08:48,211 --> 01:08:50,169 ARE YOU WORRIED YOUR KIDS ARE ALREADY UP? 1720 01:08:50,213 --> 01:08:52,171 NO, BUT I SHOULD BE GETTING HOME. 1721 01:08:52,215 --> 01:08:54,130 I DON'T WANT THEM TO KNOW THAT I'M A PARTY ANIMAL WHO 1722 01:08:54,173 --> 01:08:56,480 STAYS UP ALL NIGHT SMOKING REEFER 1723 01:08:56,523 --> 01:08:57,959 AND BEDDING STRANGE WOMEN. 1724 01:08:59,004 --> 01:09:00,179 SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME, SWEATPANTS. 1725 01:09:00,223 --> 01:09:01,224 THANK YOU. 1726 01:09:03,356 --> 01:09:04,618 OKAY, JUST TO WARN YOU, 1727 01:09:04,662 --> 01:09:05,924 MY SISTER'S GOING TO GIVE US 1728 01:09:05,967 --> 01:09:07,926 A MONUMENTALLY HARD TIME ABOUT SLEEPING TOGETHER. 1729 01:09:07,969 --> 01:09:10,058 WELL-- WE DIDN'T SLEEP TOGETHER. 1730 01:09:10,102 --> 01:09:11,930 TRY TELLING HER THAT. YOU KNOW HOW SHE IS. 1731 01:09:11,973 --> 01:09:13,410 SHE GETS A VICARIOUS THRILL 1732 01:09:13,453 --> 01:09:14,933 OUT OF PEOPLE BEHAVING BADLY, 1733 01:09:14,976 --> 01:09:17,196 ESPECIALLY WHEN ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE IS ME. 1734 01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:19,807 SURE WILL'S GONNA THROW A FEW BARBS MY WAY, TOO. 1735 01:09:21,592 --> 01:09:23,550 I-- I KIND OF DON'T CARE. SCREW HIM. 1736 01:09:23,594 --> 01:09:24,812 WHAT? 1737 01:09:24,856 --> 01:09:26,597 WE HAVE NOTHING TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT, 1738 01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:28,120 AND EVEN IF SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED, 1739 01:09:28,164 --> 01:09:29,687 I WOULDN'T BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT. 1740 01:09:30,514 --> 01:09:31,515 THANKS. 1741 01:09:36,215 --> 01:09:38,652 -HEY. -HEY. 1742 01:09:38,696 --> 01:09:39,218 MORNING. 1743 01:09:39,262 --> 01:09:40,437 IS IT? 1744 01:09:45,224 --> 01:09:46,182 YOU DON'T THINK THAT THEY...? 1745 01:09:49,185 --> 01:09:50,403 THAT WASN'T A VERY GOOD IDEA. 1746 01:09:50,447 --> 01:09:51,448 IT REALLY WASN'T. 1747 01:09:54,842 --> 01:09:57,193 [ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYING] 1748 01:10:21,782 --> 01:10:23,741 ♪ OH 1749 01:10:23,784 --> 01:10:26,091 ♪ OH, THERE SHE GOES 1750 01:10:26,134 --> 01:10:31,227 ♪ ALWAYS BARKING SO FIERCE ♪ 1751 01:10:31,270 --> 01:10:32,750 ♪ AND YOU KNEW 1752 01:10:32,793 --> 01:10:38,059 ♪ IT WAS NEVER SO CLEAR 1753 01:10:38,103 --> 01:10:43,978 ♪ BUT YOU KNOW IT WAS ALL JUST FOR SHOW ♪ 1754 01:10:49,680 --> 01:10:52,335 ♪ TIME, TIME... 1755 01:10:52,378 --> 01:10:54,032 [SONG FADES] 1756 01:11:11,354 --> 01:11:12,790 HEY. WAIT UP. 1757 01:11:15,880 --> 01:11:16,881 YOU GONNA BE OKAY? 1758 01:11:19,492 --> 01:11:20,493 ARE YOU? 1759 01:11:21,146 --> 01:11:22,539 I DON'T KNOW. 1760 01:11:24,105 --> 01:11:26,282 THANK YOU FOR TONIGHT, ALI. 1761 01:11:30,590 --> 01:11:32,113 -IDA. -YEAH? 1762 01:11:34,594 --> 01:11:35,682 WHAT DO I DO? 1763 01:11:35,726 --> 01:11:36,727 ABOUT WHAT? 1764 01:11:38,381 --> 01:11:40,121 ABOUT MY LIFE. 1765 01:11:40,165 --> 01:11:41,297 ARE YOU... 1766 01:11:43,081 --> 01:11:45,388 ARE YOU ASKING ME FOR ADVICE RIGHT NOW? 1767 01:11:45,431 --> 01:11:49,348 [BOTH LAUGH] 1768 01:11:49,392 --> 01:11:53,483 YOU GO HOME, AND YOU JUST TELL SIMON THE TRUTH 1769 01:11:53,526 --> 01:11:56,224 ABOUT EVERYTHING, NOT JUST ABOUT TONIGHT. 1770 01:11:57,400 --> 01:11:59,924 AND THEN YOU JUST... 1771 01:11:59,967 --> 01:12:01,491 SEE HOW IT PLAYS OUT. 1772 01:12:03,493 --> 01:12:04,972 THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE. 1773 01:12:05,016 --> 01:12:07,235 YEAH. 1774 01:12:07,279 --> 01:12:09,237 IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO? 1775 01:12:09,281 --> 01:12:11,109 MM-HMM. 1776 01:12:15,461 --> 01:12:16,636 CALL ME LATER. 1777 01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:18,246 REPEATEDLY. 1778 01:12:18,290 --> 01:12:19,291 I LOVE YOU. 1779 01:12:19,509 --> 01:12:20,945 I LOVE YOU. 1780 01:12:24,209 --> 01:12:25,863 OKAY, BE SAFE. 1781 01:12:25,906 --> 01:12:26,951 YOU BE SAFE. 1782 01:12:26,994 --> 01:12:28,039 WE'LL BE GOOD. 1783 01:12:28,082 --> 01:12:30,171 YOU SLEEP OFF THOSE WINE COOLERS. 1784 01:12:30,215 --> 01:12:32,217 [ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYING] 1785 01:13:24,269 --> 01:13:26,445 WHERE TO NOW, GENTLEMEN? 1786 01:13:26,489 --> 01:13:27,533 WOULD IT BE OKAY IF I CRASH 1787 01:13:27,577 --> 01:13:29,100 AT YOUR HOUSE FOR A FEW DAYS? 1788 01:13:31,494 --> 01:13:32,886 YEAH. 1789 01:13:36,368 --> 01:13:37,848 [ENGINE STARTS] 1790 01:13:37,891 --> 01:13:40,024 HOME, PLEASE. 1791 01:13:40,067 --> 01:13:41,068 PLEASURE. 1792 01:13:44,855 --> 01:13:46,726 THANKS FOR TONIGHT, WILL. 1793 01:13:46,770 --> 01:13:48,424 NO PROBLEM. 1794 01:13:48,467 --> 01:13:49,903 WE SHOULD DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME. 1795 01:13:49,947 --> 01:13:50,948 YEAH. 1796 01:13:50,991 --> 01:13:52,428 MAYBE COUPLE OF YEARS? 1797 01:13:53,516 --> 01:13:54,604 SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT. 1798 01:13:54,647 --> 01:13:55,692 YEAH. 1799 01:14:18,323 --> 01:14:21,544 [ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYING] 1800 01:14:21,587 --> 01:14:24,068 ♪ NAME 10 THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE ♪ 1801 01:14:24,111 --> 01:14:26,636 ♪ AND THEN GO DO THEM 1802 01:14:26,679 --> 01:14:29,290 ♪ NAME 10 PLACES YOU REALLY WANT TO BE ♪ 1803 01:14:29,334 --> 01:14:31,858 ♪ BEFORE YOU DIE AND THEN GO TO THEM ♪ 1804 01:14:33,599 --> 01:14:36,080 ♪ NAME 10 BOOKS YOU WANT TO READ BEFORE YOU DIE ♪ 1805 01:14:36,123 --> 01:14:37,560 ♪ AND THEN GO READ THEM 1806 01:14:39,170 --> 01:14:41,477 ♪ NAME 10 SONGS YOU WANT TO HEAR AGAIN ♪ 1807 01:14:41,520 --> 01:14:44,001 ♪ BEFORE YOU DIE, GET ALL YOUR FRIENDS TOGETHER ♪ 1808 01:14:44,044 --> 01:14:45,393 ♪ AND SCREAM THEM 1809 01:14:45,437 --> 01:14:46,873 ♪ BECAUSE RIGHT NOW 1810 01:14:46,917 --> 01:14:48,701 ♪ ALL YOU HAVE IS TIME, TIME, TIME ♪ 1811 01:14:48,745 --> 01:14:51,487 ♪ YEAH, BUT SOMEDAY THAT TIME WILL RUN OUT ♪ 1812 01:14:51,530 --> 01:14:53,184 ♪ THAT'S THE ONLY THING 1813 01:14:53,227 --> 01:14:55,839 ♪ YOU CAN BE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN ABOUT ♪ 1814 01:14:58,058 --> 01:15:00,757 ♪ THINK OF ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE WRONG WITH YOUR LIFE ♪ 1815 01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:02,193 ♪ AND THEN FIX THEM 1816 01:15:03,803 --> 01:15:05,196 ♪ THINK OF ALL THE THINGS 1817 01:15:05,239 --> 01:15:06,806 ♪ THAT YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR LIFE ♪ 1818 01:15:06,850 --> 01:15:10,157 ♪ BE THANKFUL YOU ARE BLESSED WITH THEM ♪ 1819 01:15:10,201 --> 01:15:12,377 ♪ THINK OF ALL THE THINGS THAT HOLD YOU BACK ♪ 1820 01:15:12,420 --> 01:15:14,379 ♪ AND REALIZE THAT YOU DON'T NEED THEM ♪ 1821 01:15:15,946 --> 01:15:17,600 ♪ THINK OF ALL THE MISTAKES ♪ 1822 01:15:17,643 --> 01:15:19,253 ♪ YOU HAVE MADE IN YOUR LIFE ♪ 1823 01:15:19,297 --> 01:15:21,865 ♪ MAKE SURE THAT YOU NEVER REPEAT THEM ♪ 1824 01:15:21,908 --> 01:15:23,344 ♪ BECAUSE RIGHT NOW 1825 01:15:23,388 --> 01:15:25,390 ♪ ALL YOU HAVE IS TIME, TIME, TIME ♪ 1826 01:15:25,433 --> 01:15:28,175 ♪ YEAH, BUT SOMEDAY THAT TIME WILL RUN OUT ♪ 1827 01:15:28,219 --> 01:15:29,873 ♪ THAT'S THE ONLY THING 1828 01:15:29,916 --> 01:15:32,571 ♪ YOU CAN BE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN ABOUT ♪ 1829 01:15:34,921 --> 01:15:37,402 ♪ NAME 10,000 REASONS WHY YOU NEVER WANT TO DIE ♪ 1830 01:15:37,445 --> 01:15:40,405 ♪ GO AND TELL SOMEONE WHO MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN ♪ 1831 01:15:40,448 --> 01:15:42,015 ♪ TRY TO LIST THE ENDLESS REASONS ♪ 1832 01:15:42,059 --> 01:15:43,669 ♪ WHY IT'S GOOD TO BE ALIVE ♪ 1833 01:15:43,713 --> 01:15:46,933 ♪ AND THEN JUST SMILE FOR A WHILE ABOUT THEM ♪ 1834 01:15:46,977 --> 01:15:49,240 ♪ SOON THE SUN WILL RISE 1835 01:15:49,283 --> 01:15:51,547 ♪ AND ANOTHER DAY WILL COME 1836 01:15:52,939 --> 01:15:55,246 ♪ SOON ENOUGH, THE SUN WILL SET ♪ 1837 01:15:55,289 --> 01:15:57,030 ♪ ANOTHER DAY WILL BE GONE 1838 01:15:58,902 --> 01:16:00,338 ♪ AND RIGHT NOW 1839 01:16:00,381 --> 01:16:02,296 ♪ ALL YOU HAVE IS TIME, TIME, TIME ♪ 1840 01:16:02,340 --> 01:16:05,082 ♪ YEAH, BUT SOMEDAY THAT TIME WILL RUN OUT ♪ 1841 01:16:05,125 --> 01:16:06,823 ♪ THAT'S THE ONLY THING 1842 01:16:06,866 --> 01:16:09,695 ♪ YOU CAN BE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN ABOUT. ♪ 1843 01:16:09,739 --> 01:16:12,263 [NEW SONG PLAYING] 1844 01:16:39,464 --> 01:16:43,250 ♪ WHEN PERFECT HEARTS 1845 01:16:43,294 --> 01:16:46,776 ♪ THEY DON'T WORK ANYMORE 1846 01:16:49,822 --> 01:16:53,173 ♪ WHEN PERFECT HEARTS 1847 01:16:53,217 --> 01:16:56,699 ♪ THEY DON'T WORK ANYMORE 1848 01:16:59,484 --> 01:17:06,273 ♪ THEN WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO CLOSE THIS DOOR? ♪ 1849 01:17:09,407 --> 01:17:12,976 ♪ WHEN PERFECT HEARTS 1850 01:17:13,019 --> 01:17:16,762 ♪ THEY DON'T WORK ANYMORE 1851 01:17:17,981 --> 01:17:20,331 ♪ AND ALL YOU HEARD WAS I 1852 01:17:20,374 --> 01:17:23,160 ♪ DON'T WANT YOU, I 1853 01:17:23,203 --> 01:17:25,510 ♪ AND ALL YOU HEARD WAS I 1854 01:17:25,553 --> 01:17:28,121 ♪ DON'T HAVE THE TIME 1855 01:17:28,165 --> 01:17:30,384 ♪ AND ALL YOU HEARD WAS I 1856 01:17:30,428 --> 01:17:33,083 ♪ DON'T WANT YOU, I 1857 01:17:34,258 --> 01:17:39,132 ♪ AH, IN MY LIFE 1858 01:17:41,657 --> 01:17:45,269 ♪ WHEN PERFECT HEARTS 1859 01:17:45,312 --> 01:17:48,664 ♪ THEY DON'T WORK ANYMORE 1860 01:17:51,405 --> 01:17:54,931 ♪ WHEN PERFECT HEARTS 1861 01:17:54,974 --> 01:17:58,499 ♪ THEY DON'T WORK ANYMORE 1862 01:18:01,067 --> 01:18:08,074 ♪ THEN WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO CLOSE THIS DOOR? ♪ 1863 01:18:10,990 --> 01:18:14,646 ♪ WHEN PERFECT HEARTS 1864 01:18:14,690 --> 01:18:18,302 ♪ THEY DON'T WORK ANYMORE 1865 01:18:19,999 --> 01:18:22,088 ♪ AND ALL YOU HEARD WAS I 1866 01:18:22,132 --> 01:18:24,961 ♪ DON'T WANT YOU, I 1867 01:18:25,004 --> 01:18:27,093 ♪ AND ALL YOU HEARD WAS I 1868 01:18:27,137 --> 01:18:29,705 ♪ DON'T HAVE THE TIME 1869 01:18:29,748 --> 01:18:31,663 ♪ AND ALL YOU HEARD WAS I 1870 01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:34,622 ♪ DON'T WANT YOU, I 1871 01:18:35,623 --> 01:18:41,194 ♪ AH, IN MY LIFE. 128414

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