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Pushing Daisies - Season 02 Episode 08
"Comfort food"
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Subtitle (720p CTU v.1.00): A�S Team
--==All-about-Subs.fr==--
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At this moment,
young Ned is 9 years, 9 months,
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00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:13,070
15 days, 10 hours,
and 2 minutes old.
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00:00:13,344 --> 00:00:16,333
Awakened by
loneliness-induced insomnia,
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00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:19,591
he found himself
in desperate need of comfort.
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00:00:20,144 --> 00:00:22,989
And comfort for Ned meant pie.
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00:00:23,505 --> 00:00:25,020
The risks were great,
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00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:28,429
but young Ned rationalized
his rogue impulse-baking
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00:00:28,459 --> 00:00:30,304
as sheep-counting.
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00:00:31,036 --> 00:00:34,539
What harm could come of a single pie,
in the dark of night,
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00:00:34,569 --> 00:00:36,673
with all the evidence ingested?
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00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:39,646
He was caught in flagrante delicto
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00:00:39,823 --> 00:00:42,138
by one Eugene Mulchandani,
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00:00:42,435 --> 00:00:44,885
who immediately
joined him in the act.
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00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:49,304
Ned and Eugene were unprepared
for what happened next.
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00:00:50,263 --> 00:00:54,552
The aroma of freshly baked pie
wafting through boarding-school halls
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00:00:54,717 --> 00:00:58,862
awakened an entire class
who had but one thing in common...
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00:01:00,108 --> 00:01:03,791
They were all far from home
and needed comfort.
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00:01:04,204 --> 00:01:08,064
The longing and homesickness
which filled the school like a plague
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00:01:08,921 --> 00:01:11,629
was magically lifted
with every bite.
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00:01:11,659 --> 00:01:13,109
And the party began.
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00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:21,074
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00:01:34,575 --> 00:01:36,616
Until the party stopped,
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00:01:37,919 --> 00:01:41,934
and young Ned learned that even
a forkful of immediate gratification
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00:01:42,201 --> 00:01:45,540
can lead to a world
of grave consequences.
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00:01:46,743 --> 00:01:49,583
A lesson to be learned again
years later
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00:01:49,613 --> 00:01:53,558
at the grave of currently dead father
of Chuck, the woman he loved.
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00:01:58,391 --> 00:01:59,191
Ready?
30
00:02:00,785 --> 00:02:02,235
I'm ready, I think.
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00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:04,754
- Wait.
- What?
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00:02:05,013 --> 00:02:06,893
If we both have half a minute,
you go first.
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00:02:06,923 --> 00:02:09,543
No, you go first. If you spill over
the first 30 seconds, then no biggie.
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00:02:09,573 --> 00:02:12,894
As opposed to spilling over the second
30 seconds, which is yes biggie.
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00:02:13,264 --> 00:02:15,289
I budgeted every second.
I won't spill.
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00:02:15,319 --> 00:02:17,107
That's not enough.
You should have all 60.
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00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,688
We don't need to find about Dwight.
I don't know what I was thinking.
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00:02:19,718 --> 00:02:23,968
You were trying to protect us from
a mysterious, potentially dangerous man.
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00:02:24,460 --> 00:02:25,532
You go first.
40
00:02:25,873 --> 00:02:27,823
No, you go. This is awkward.
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00:02:27,853 --> 00:02:29,745
Go first, or I'm gonna hit you
with the shovel.
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00:02:29,962 --> 00:02:30,762
Okay.
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00:02:34,499 --> 00:02:36,083
- Hello.
- Hi, Mr. Charles.
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00:02:36,113 --> 00:02:38,161
Or should I call you Charles?
No matter. It's me Ned.
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00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,124
I lived across the street
when I was a boy.
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00:02:40,154 --> 00:02:41,821
Hi. It's me... Charlotte.
47
00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:44,331
You've been dead for 20 years.
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00:02:44,361 --> 00:02:47,457
I'm sure you have a lot of questions.
Can you put them on hold and tell us...
49
00:02:47,487 --> 00:02:49,347
Is Dwight Dixon a dangerous man?
50
00:02:49,429 --> 00:02:52,485
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh. Oh, no. He stole Chuck's...
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00:02:52,553 --> 00:02:54,961
I still call your daughter "Chuck"
still, like when I was 9.
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00:02:54,991 --> 00:02:55,741
15.
53
00:02:55,862 --> 00:02:57,270
- No, I was 9.
- Seconds.
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00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:00,004
Dwight stole your pocket watch
and left a veiled threat about exposing
55
00:03:00,034 --> 00:03:02,938
a very big secret which he knows
that we probably don't want exposed.
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00:03:03,005 --> 00:03:05,464
Oh, if he's got the watch,
you got nothing to worry about.
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00:03:05,494 --> 00:03:07,654
The threat's his insurance policy.
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00:03:07,684 --> 00:03:09,534
Now, you don't say nothing,
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00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,070
he'll return the favor.
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00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:13,049
Good to know. You're up.
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00:03:13,079 --> 00:03:17,167
The pie maker's gift of life lasted
for one precious minute only,
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00:03:17,673 --> 00:03:21,129
a minute he eagerly shared
with the Chuck of his life,
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00:03:21,232 --> 00:03:23,139
to give her but half a minute
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00:03:23,305 --> 00:03:27,010
to catch up on a lifetime
with a father long lost.
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00:03:27,164 --> 00:03:29,461
30 seconds were all he could give,
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00:03:29,782 --> 00:03:31,097
and not a second more.
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00:03:42,460 --> 00:03:43,610
Are you awake?
68
00:03:43,789 --> 00:03:47,585
As Chuck soundlessly broke the bonds
of her plastic-wrap embrace
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00:03:47,868 --> 00:03:50,700
and snuck away to see
to business unattended,
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00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:54,207
Vivian waited for Dwight Dixon,
gentleman caller,
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00:03:54,237 --> 00:03:58,517
unaware her sister Lily chased him off
their front porch hours earlier.
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00:03:59,476 --> 00:04:01,334
At the Come and Sleep hotel,
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00:04:01,731 --> 00:04:05,506
sister Lily would make certain
Dwight Dixon, gentleman caller,
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00:04:05,568 --> 00:04:07,800
would never call again.
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00:04:21,038 --> 00:04:24,400
Way I see this,
we both got something you want.
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00:04:24,502 --> 00:04:28,006
What would that be,
my spicy cocktail?
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00:04:28,381 --> 00:04:30,448
I got my daughter's watch
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00:04:30,508 --> 00:04:33,258
and you got your insides
where you want 'em.
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00:04:33,291 --> 00:04:34,954
You're gonna dig up
Charlotte's grave
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00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:37,583
and you're gonna put this watch back
where you found it,
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00:04:37,613 --> 00:04:40,041
after you tell me your real story.
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00:04:41,579 --> 00:04:42,379
Well.
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00:04:42,677 --> 00:04:43,586
It all began
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00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:47,916
when I was conceived in the sweat
and sawdust of a traveling carnival.
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00:04:47,946 --> 00:04:50,217
My mother was an acrobat named...
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00:05:09,905 --> 00:05:13,199
And Chuck seemed to be waiting
for something else altogether.
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00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:16,328
I'm declaring it
an emotional snow day.
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00:05:16,834 --> 00:05:18,144
But you love that cook-off,
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00:05:18,174 --> 00:05:19,994
and you and Olive
didn't get to go last year.
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00:05:20,024 --> 00:05:21,864
I chose not to go last year.
I was busy.
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00:05:21,894 --> 00:05:24,710
- Yeah, because of me.
- I love being busy because of you,
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00:05:24,772 --> 00:05:28,568
and I'm looking forward to being busy
because of you for the rest of the day.
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00:05:28,598 --> 00:05:32,134
You can't do what you did last night
and not be a little overwhelmed.
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00:05:32,236 --> 00:05:35,666
Well, believe me,
I feel plenty whelmed, but not overly.
95
00:05:35,696 --> 00:05:37,226
Overly is on its way,
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00:05:37,256 --> 00:05:39,384
probably looking
in the window right now.
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00:05:39,414 --> 00:05:41,353
You had to say "hello again"
and "goodbye again"
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00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,098
to your dad in 30 seconds.
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00:05:43,128 --> 00:05:46,195
I guess I just chose to look at it
like it was 30 more seconds
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00:05:46,225 --> 00:05:47,816
than I was supposed to have.
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00:05:48,546 --> 00:05:49,528
How did that go?
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00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:50,967
It was still hard,
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00:05:51,190 --> 00:05:53,740
no matter how much
I budgeted my seconds.
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00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,320
The hello-againing
was wonderful, and...
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00:05:56,625 --> 00:05:58,475
the goodbye-againing wasn't.
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00:06:00,173 --> 00:06:01,998
Oh, Ned, look...
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00:06:02,319 --> 00:06:05,003
- You should just go to the cook-off.
- You're trying to get rid of me.
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00:06:05,033 --> 00:06:07,883
No, I'm not trying
to get rid of you. I just...
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00:06:07,916 --> 00:06:10,366
Maybe I need
an emotional snow day too.
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00:06:10,483 --> 00:06:11,841
You need a snow day from me?
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00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:15,594
This is weird now? Are we weird now
because I did "it" with your dad?
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00:06:15,759 --> 00:06:19,015
No, we're not weird.
I've never been so in love with you.
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00:06:19,075 --> 00:06:21,600
But I'm also feeling
a lot of other things...
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00:06:21,662 --> 00:06:23,843
So many things I want to tell you
and I can't tell you,
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00:06:23,873 --> 00:06:25,896
I'm afraid to tell you,
don't know how to tell you.
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00:06:25,958 --> 00:06:28,573
You don't have to tell me
if you don't want to. I mean...
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00:06:28,603 --> 00:06:31,753
- You do eventually.
- And I will tonight. I promise.
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00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:35,011
For the meantime,
Olive is depending on you.
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00:06:35,041 --> 00:06:38,513
She said two years ago, she could taste
that first-prize blue ribbon,
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00:06:38,543 --> 00:06:41,078
and then that taste was replaced
with the bitter tang of defeat.
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00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:43,831
Bitter tang, bitter Olive.
It's a story.
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00:06:44,550 --> 00:06:46,959
And today it's gonna be
a happy ending.
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00:06:47,290 --> 00:06:49,140
Come on. Go to the cook-off.
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00:06:49,428 --> 00:06:50,754
Olive will love you for it.
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00:06:55,390 --> 00:06:57,440
Isn't it good to be back again?
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00:06:57,470 --> 00:07:00,301
Just you and me,
shoulder-to-shoulder, eye-to-eye.
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00:07:00,331 --> 00:07:02,975
Decorative hats fixed squarely
on sweaty brows,
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00:07:03,312 --> 00:07:07,021
bonding in the fiery kiln of competition
that forges men's souls.
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00:07:07,082 --> 00:07:08,397
We're baking pie, Olive.
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00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:09,750
Not just pie...
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00:07:09,874 --> 00:07:11,192
Damn great pie.
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00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:12,467
This is our year.
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00:07:12,497 --> 00:07:14,826
We're in such a better place
than we were two years ago.
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00:07:14,856 --> 00:07:16,639
I, for one, am no longer encumbered
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00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:18,900
of the tension
of a sexual nature toward you.
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00:07:18,930 --> 00:07:19,862
I'm focused.
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00:07:19,892 --> 00:07:22,246
We should have won last time.
Would have won...
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00:07:22,471 --> 00:07:24,745
had we not gotten screwed by...
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00:07:25,304 --> 00:07:26,354
The Buffalo.
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00:07:26,559 --> 00:07:28,959
Sweet Lord in heaven,
how I hate the Buffalo.
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00:07:31,114 --> 00:07:32,755
When you say "Buffalo", do you mean
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00:07:32,817 --> 00:07:35,591
the noble breed of bison
lost forever to settlers' greed
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00:07:35,653 --> 00:07:39,470
or the upstate New York hamlet
still thirsting for Super Bowl glory?
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00:07:39,532 --> 00:07:42,379
I mean that big phony whipping up
those crap muffins over there.
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00:07:42,409 --> 00:07:43,807
Marianne Marie Beetle.
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00:07:43,910 --> 00:07:45,960
They call her the pastry slayer.
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00:07:46,072 --> 00:07:48,979
Leo Burns, the new Comfort Food
Cook-off coordinator,
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00:07:49,237 --> 00:07:50,874
lover of all things foody.
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00:07:51,252 --> 00:07:55,066
And I love that all foods are welcome
at this year's Comfort Food Cook-off.
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00:07:55,096 --> 00:07:57,488
It's like best in show,
only "Best in Belly".
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00:07:58,036 --> 00:08:02,535
Which means Buffalo Muffin will be
locking those horns with Colonel Likkin.
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00:08:03,072 --> 00:08:04,995
He and the Buffalo
are the teams to beat.
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00:08:05,057 --> 00:08:08,207
The Colonel's been "Best in Belly"
blue-ribbon winner 15 years running.
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00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:11,210
But there's an empty winner's plate
waiting to be loaded.
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00:08:11,359 --> 00:08:13,039
With damn great pie.
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00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:16,034
Oh! Well, you're the Pie Holers!
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00:08:16,064 --> 00:08:19,264
I'm a very, very, very big fan.
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00:08:19,346 --> 00:08:20,146
Stop.
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00:08:20,176 --> 00:08:24,223
As event coordinator, I'm not allowed
to say this, but I'm rooting for you.
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00:08:24,783 --> 00:08:25,933
Oh, thank you.
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00:08:27,737 --> 00:08:29,087
He's a dreamboat.
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00:08:29,729 --> 00:08:32,773
Well, tugboat, but still.
Let's set up, partner.
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00:08:33,421 --> 00:08:34,221
Ted!
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00:08:34,495 --> 00:08:36,422
It's so nice to see
that you came back
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00:08:36,452 --> 00:08:38,627
after taking a year off
to lick your wounds
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00:08:38,657 --> 00:08:41,373
and hide in the dank shadows
of humiliating defeat.
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00:08:41,403 --> 00:08:42,970
And you were so close.
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00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,444
Yeah, mysterious.
169
00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:47,830
It's as if someone deliberately
sabotaged our oven, cheater McGee.
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00:08:48,007 --> 00:08:50,416
It's a poor workman
who blames his tools.
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00:08:50,478 --> 00:08:52,334
Just keep your oven mitts
to yourself.
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00:08:52,396 --> 00:08:56,714
I intend to, as I present more
award-winning muffins to the judges.
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00:08:57,046 --> 00:08:58,673
And you remember, now...
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00:08:58,736 --> 00:09:01,242
losing doesn't make you a loser.
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00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:03,356
Oh, wait... it does.
176
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:05,781
Better get stuffing your pie-holes.
177
00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:08,684
But despite the freshly stoked heat
of the competition...
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00:09:09,135 --> 00:09:10,905
That Buffalo is going down!
179
00:09:10,935 --> 00:09:14,414
The pie maker's thoughts strayed away
from pastries to be made,
180
00:09:15,353 --> 00:09:16,832
and toward Chuck...
181
00:09:17,813 --> 00:09:21,267
wondering what she could possibly
be afraid to tell him.
182
00:09:22,177 --> 00:09:23,027
Hi, dad.
183
00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:28,852
The secret Chuck was keeping
from the pie maker
184
00:09:28,882 --> 00:09:30,663
was born the night before.
185
00:09:31,132 --> 00:09:32,282
Hello, again.
186
00:09:32,914 --> 00:09:35,277
I know I don't look like the Charlotte
that you remember, but...
187
00:09:35,307 --> 00:09:38,145
Oh, you're the Charlotte I remember,
all right.
188
00:09:38,175 --> 00:09:39,173
Button-Button.
189
00:09:39,243 --> 00:09:40,576
Cute as a button.
190
00:09:40,606 --> 00:09:41,956
I miss you, daddy.
191
00:09:42,577 --> 00:09:44,429
- Isn't this nice?
- Yes.
192
00:09:44,988 --> 00:09:48,075
Son of a bitch. Now I'm eating into
my "I love you" time.
193
00:09:48,105 --> 00:09:49,665
Look, I...
194
00:09:50,221 --> 00:09:52,227
I love you, and...
195
00:09:54,137 --> 00:09:57,231
- happy birthday.
- Oh, it's... it's my birthday?
196
00:09:58,044 --> 00:09:59,652
Not today, but it was gonna be.
197
00:09:59,712 --> 00:10:00,762
Then I died.
198
00:10:00,979 --> 00:10:01,779
Yeah.
199
00:10:01,839 --> 00:10:04,598
I never got a chance to give it to you,
but now I can.
200
00:10:05,210 --> 00:10:07,477
So I guess it kind of is
your birthday.
201
00:10:07,872 --> 00:10:11,289
At that very moment,
a change of plan occurred to her.
202
00:10:11,391 --> 00:10:14,780
Torn between the pie maker
she loved and the father she lost,
203
00:10:14,810 --> 00:10:16,177
Chuck acted on impulse.
204
00:10:16,207 --> 00:10:17,669
You're gonna put on my glove.
205
00:10:20,006 --> 00:10:22,090
When Ned touches you, you play dead.
206
00:10:22,352 --> 00:10:25,303
The pie maker
gave every second he could give...
207
00:10:25,694 --> 00:10:27,603
I'm gonna be back
to dig you up in an hour.
208
00:10:27,633 --> 00:10:29,207
And not a second more.
209
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:36,564
You okay?
210
00:10:41,890 --> 00:10:43,840
It didn't feel like 20 years.
211
00:10:44,989 --> 00:10:47,659
What did it feel like
if it didn't feel like 20 years?
212
00:10:47,719 --> 00:10:48,569
Gliding.
213
00:10:49,151 --> 00:10:50,901
Holding your breath and...
214
00:10:51,774 --> 00:10:53,924
being able to breathe and just...
215
00:10:54,616 --> 00:10:55,466
gliding.
216
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:57,610
I didn't glide.
217
00:10:58,406 --> 00:11:00,255
What business
would you have gliding?
218
00:11:00,315 --> 00:11:01,165
I died.
219
00:11:01,646 --> 00:11:02,896
And then Ned...
220
00:11:03,324 --> 00:11:04,574
Ned touched me.
221
00:11:04,675 --> 00:11:06,925
But there was no gliding, just Ned.
222
00:11:07,706 --> 00:11:09,556
He never touched you again?
223
00:11:09,913 --> 00:11:12,363
- No, he can't. Not without...
- Good.
224
00:11:13,864 --> 00:11:15,519
How is this even possible?
225
00:11:16,324 --> 00:11:20,205
You, me, here again in the here-and-now
when we belong in the hereafter?
226
00:11:20,765 --> 00:11:22,981
Since when did death get a loophole?
227
00:11:23,011 --> 00:11:23,961
Since Ned.
228
00:11:24,214 --> 00:11:26,925
Your dreams,
they're gonna be so vivid now.
229
00:11:28,533 --> 00:11:30,952
- It's so neat. And my bees...
- You have bees?
230
00:11:31,074 --> 00:11:33,924
Since you died.
And then they died, and then...
231
00:11:34,555 --> 00:11:36,105
Ned touched them, too.
232
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,350
Oh, god, and their honey...
233
00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:40,962
You have never tasted honey
like this before.
234
00:11:42,153 --> 00:11:43,889
I hate to look
in the gift horse's mouth,
235
00:11:43,919 --> 00:11:46,294
but I'm not gonna start
craving human flesh, am I?
236
00:11:47,510 --> 00:11:49,587
Although everything
does taste better.
237
00:11:50,399 --> 00:11:52,149
What's the catch, Button?
238
00:11:52,536 --> 00:11:55,308
Hiding me away
like every stray cat, dog and goose
239
00:11:55,338 --> 00:11:57,188
that met your acquaintance.
240
00:11:57,455 --> 00:12:00,982
You don't want Nedly-deadly to know
that my bucket's still kicking.
241
00:12:01,084 --> 00:12:02,018
Why?
242
00:12:03,334 --> 00:12:05,330
- Is there a catch?
- Not that you're aware of.
243
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:06,160
What?
244
00:12:06,764 --> 00:12:08,314
Not that I'm aware of.
245
00:12:10,723 --> 00:12:11,711
There's a catch.
246
00:12:11,741 --> 00:12:14,137
And I'm gonna catch it
before I get caught.
247
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,678
You gonna tell me
what that catch is, Button?
248
00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:19,529
I will tonight. I promise.
249
00:12:19,996 --> 00:12:22,284
As Chuck's plan was percolating,
250
00:12:22,834 --> 00:12:25,293
private investigator Emerson Cod
251
00:12:25,323 --> 00:12:27,966
gently extracted
the delicate flavors
252
00:12:27,996 --> 00:12:30,227
of Bolivia Wara coffee grounds
253
00:12:30,257 --> 00:12:33,335
for a smooth,
clean coffee experience
254
00:12:33,365 --> 00:12:36,326
on a morning
that would soon prove to be anything
255
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,572
but smooth or clean.
256
00:12:39,038 --> 00:12:40,021
Emerson, I...
257
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,072
- I need your help.
- Friend help or pay help?
258
00:12:50,485 --> 00:12:53,456
See that? That's the kind of body
language you never hear with pay help.
259
00:12:53,486 --> 00:12:55,495
Ned brought my dad back to life,
only for a minute,
260
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,579
when the minute was up,
we retouched him as always.
261
00:12:57,682 --> 00:13:00,467
No biggie, but yes biggie,
because in the heat of the moment,
262
00:13:00,601 --> 00:13:02,779
my thinking wasn't so much
as "thinking" but "feeling"
263
00:13:02,809 --> 00:13:04,587
and I tricked Ned with my glove,
264
00:13:04,647 --> 00:13:07,895
and now my dad's still alive,
and Ned doesn't know, and...
265
00:13:09,351 --> 00:13:10,565
Please help me.
266
00:13:10,595 --> 00:13:12,095
What's the part about your gloves?
267
00:13:12,155 --> 00:13:13,346
I've used Ned.
268
00:13:13,406 --> 00:13:17,056
Now my dad's alive because of
my impulse-control issues, and...
269
00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:19,352
now somebody else is dead.
270
00:13:19,670 --> 00:13:21,229
First of all, blow.
271
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,220
Second...
272
00:13:25,190 --> 00:13:26,274
just relax.
273
00:13:26,586 --> 00:13:27,693
You're not mad at me?
274
00:13:27,755 --> 00:13:29,888
Hell yeah, I'm mad!
I'm steamed, furious, red-hot!
275
00:13:29,918 --> 00:13:32,213
And don't think
I ain't gonna yell at you later!
276
00:13:34,444 --> 00:13:37,735
But for now, we should just put
our heads together and...
277
00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:39,996
try to figure out what to do.
278
00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:48,313
Oh, you're slowing the roll, chief.
I'm in the zone.
279
00:13:48,343 --> 00:13:51,293
Working awful hard
for disappointment over there.
280
00:13:52,670 --> 00:13:55,482
I'm going to win that blue ribbon,
wrap it around her neck,
281
00:13:55,512 --> 00:13:56,821
and strangle her with it.
282
00:13:56,851 --> 00:13:58,349
Olive, you're baking with hate.
283
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,221
Rich, buttery
high-in-carbohydrate hate.
284
00:14:01,251 --> 00:14:03,615
You know what no one tells you
about cooking with the dark side?
285
00:14:03,645 --> 00:14:05,087
The food is really good.
286
00:14:05,117 --> 00:14:06,624
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
287
00:14:06,654 --> 00:14:09,436
We're baking pie...
Warm, delicious, happy-making pie.
288
00:14:09,466 --> 00:14:11,571
Okay, help cook or get out
of the kitchen, short-pants.
289
00:14:11,895 --> 00:14:12,695
Fine.
290
00:14:12,967 --> 00:14:15,533
Ah, the sweet smell of victory!
291
00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:18,328
- Not this year, turd-muffin.
- I'll shut your piehole good.
292
00:14:18,389 --> 00:14:20,044
Bring it, stale-cakes!
We're gonna win!
293
00:14:20,074 --> 00:14:22,204
Who's "we", sucka? I'm gonna win.
294
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:28,713
My husband, the Colonel...
He's dead!
295
00:14:39,756 --> 00:14:41,206
He's not just dead.
296
00:14:42,755 --> 00:14:44,105
He's extra-crispy.
297
00:14:47,999 --> 00:14:49,929
My husband, the Colonel...
298
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,430
gone forever.
299
00:14:51,694 --> 00:14:55,630
I'm afraid it looks like he collapsed
and fell into his own boiling oil.
300
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,743
I always knew one of his many massive
heart attacks would do him in.
301
00:14:59,022 --> 00:15:02,370
- At least he left this world fryin'.
- Should be some comfort.
302
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,654
There's no comfort in knowing that the
secret recipe will die along with him.
303
00:15:06,729 --> 00:15:08,795
It was his greatest and only legacy.
304
00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:11,740
- Surely he wrote it down.
- Surely he didn't.
305
00:15:11,770 --> 00:15:15,885
My husband was a fat-frying savant.
He kept that recipe stored in his head.
306
00:15:16,088 --> 00:15:19,013
If only I could have him back
for one minute
307
00:15:19,623 --> 00:15:23,011
to preserve his lasting,
loving memory.
308
00:15:27,053 --> 00:15:29,803
I need your help.
Help me to help the widow.
309
00:15:29,843 --> 00:15:32,035
How? Her husband's dead.
What are you gonna do?
310
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:35,615
Haul him back to life and say,
"Colonel, what's your recipe"?
311
00:15:36,531 --> 00:15:37,993
Maybe he left something behind.
312
00:15:38,023 --> 00:15:40,638
Distract the paramedics
long enough for me to...
313
00:15:41,125 --> 00:15:42,775
... examine the workstation.
314
00:15:52,679 --> 00:15:54,257
My eyes are... they're bleeding!
315
00:15:55,289 --> 00:15:57,010
Help! I can't see!
316
00:16:01,554 --> 00:16:04,488
I finally know
what my birds felt like.
317
00:16:05,115 --> 00:16:06,561
Guess I'm dead, eh?
318
00:16:06,719 --> 00:16:08,220
Heart attack. Not a lot of time.
319
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,533
And the widow Likkin
wants to preserve your secret recipe.
320
00:16:10,563 --> 00:16:12,181
Good woman, my bride.
321
00:16:12,451 --> 00:16:13,501
Let's do it.
322
00:16:13,531 --> 00:16:17,005
I got all 500 herbs
and spices right up here.
323
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:20,408
Better pull up a chair
and grab yourself a pen.
324
00:16:20,510 --> 00:16:23,077
That sounds like a long trip down
a lazy river we don't have time for.
325
00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:25,501
Now, you can't rush goodness.
326
00:16:26,011 --> 00:16:28,083
- Did you say "heart attack"?
- I did.
327
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:30,501
- We start with the herbs or the spices?
- Bushwah!
328
00:16:30,687 --> 00:16:33,511
Some carpetbagging coward
snuck up behind,
329
00:16:33,541 --> 00:16:37,589
battered me in my own batter,
and shoved me into boiling oil.
330
00:16:37,874 --> 00:16:39,719
That was murder, son.
331
00:16:39,821 --> 00:16:41,637
Really?
And you didn't see who did it?
332
00:16:41,740 --> 00:16:43,394
Attacked from behind.
333
00:16:43,424 --> 00:16:46,861
They were stealthy, like a snake...
Or a Yankee.
334
00:16:46,969 --> 00:16:47,767
Okay.
335
00:16:48,238 --> 00:16:51,209
Let's hit the recipe, and with the time
left over, we circle back to the murder.
336
00:16:51,239 --> 00:16:53,296
This is silly.
Are you sure you didn't write it down?
337
00:16:53,326 --> 00:16:55,148
I got one handwritten copy.
338
00:16:55,178 --> 00:16:57,268
I keep it right here in my...
339
00:16:57,298 --> 00:16:58,448
here in my...
340
00:16:58,816 --> 00:16:59,947
tarnation.
341
00:17:00,050 --> 00:17:03,891
This fat-frying process seems
to have robbed me of mobility.
342
00:17:03,921 --> 00:17:05,912
- There's nothing in there.
- Impossible.
343
00:17:05,972 --> 00:17:09,392
I've kept my recipe right there.
Same spot for 30 years.
344
00:17:10,134 --> 00:17:12,418
What scoundrel
stole my secret recipe?
345
00:17:12,719 --> 00:17:14,917
I'll find out,
and I'll find out who killed you, too.
346
00:17:14,947 --> 00:17:16,371
But now I'm afraid time is up.
347
00:17:16,401 --> 00:17:20,098
I hate to go,
but at least I'm going delicious.
348
00:17:23,352 --> 00:17:25,992
And as the Colonel
went back to being dead,
349
00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:30,061
Chuck faced the consequences
of her impulsive decision.
350
00:17:30,268 --> 00:17:32,918
The "bring back dad" part,
I don't regret.
351
00:17:32,961 --> 00:17:36,012
I mean, how can anyone regret being
reunited with someone that they love
352
00:17:36,042 --> 00:17:38,216
and they thought
they'd never see again?
353
00:17:38,246 --> 00:17:39,322
Point taken.
354
00:17:39,352 --> 00:17:41,381
But the big problem,
maybe the biggest problem
355
00:17:41,411 --> 00:17:44,361
in an objective sense,
is the dishonesty with Ned.
356
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:47,415
That and the
"making someone else less alive" part.
357
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,256
"Less alive."
358
00:17:49,988 --> 00:17:51,624
Nice euphemism... killer.
359
00:17:51,791 --> 00:17:53,665
We were at the cemetery
in the dead of night.
360
00:17:53,695 --> 00:17:56,045
Maybe there was no one else there.
Maybe no one else died.
361
00:17:56,151 --> 00:17:58,047
You think
this is a "sometimes" rule?
362
00:17:58,150 --> 00:17:59,992
Ned lets somebody
live longer than a minute
363
00:18:00,022 --> 00:18:02,158
and somebody else
has to die "sometimes"? No!
364
00:18:02,188 --> 00:18:03,509
It's an "every time" rule!
365
00:18:03,539 --> 00:18:05,506
There's some sucker out there dead
in the leaves.
366
00:18:05,536 --> 00:18:08,620
Oh, my god. Then maybe
some sweet old lady with insomnia
367
00:18:08,650 --> 00:18:10,708
who was bringing flowers
to her husband's grave...
368
00:18:10,738 --> 00:18:13,190
It could have been anyone.
I could have just killed any innocent...
369
00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:16,019
All right, either way,
we got another dead body to find...
370
00:18:16,049 --> 00:18:18,253
A body that was deaded by Ned,
only he don't know about it
371
00:18:18,283 --> 00:18:21,028
on account of you never told him,
which is the wrong I'm correcting.
372
00:18:21,088 --> 00:18:22,489
I know what I did was wrong.
373
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,484
I was spurred to action
in the spur of the moment,
374
00:18:24,514 --> 00:18:28,229
which leaves me living in the deep,
dark world of consequence.
375
00:18:29,096 --> 00:18:30,541
But if you help me clean this up,
376
00:18:30,571 --> 00:18:34,293
then Ned won't have to live anywhere
but the bright, happy world of pie,
377
00:18:34,323 --> 00:18:36,283
and all
we'll have to deal with is each other.
378
00:18:36,313 --> 00:18:37,335
And your daddy.
379
00:18:37,396 --> 00:18:38,921
You can't keep that from him.
380
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:42,383
Okay.
381
00:18:43,006 --> 00:18:44,756
We'll find the body first.
382
00:18:45,321 --> 00:18:48,431
But I'm telling you, right after that,
you go straight to pie boy.
383
00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:53,507
Don't be pecking me, woman!
That's the peck of cahoots,
384
00:18:53,537 --> 00:18:55,521
which we are definitely not in.
385
00:18:55,581 --> 00:18:57,087
Well, thank you anyway.
386
00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:01,527
The cook-off will continue.
387
00:19:02,402 --> 00:19:04,795
The Colonel would have wanted it
that way.
388
00:19:04,825 --> 00:19:07,668
His tragic heart attack
must be honored by us,
389
00:19:07,698 --> 00:19:10,593
his sacred community
of fellow chefs.
390
00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:15,320
Who now all stand
a much better chance of winning.
391
00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:17,238
Proceed.
392
00:19:18,528 --> 00:19:21,172
I know it's a tragedy, obviously,
but you know what they say...
393
00:19:21,232 --> 00:19:23,196
When God closes a door,
he opens an oven.
394
00:19:23,226 --> 00:19:26,434
They don't say that, and if they do,
they have no compassion for the Colonel.
395
00:19:26,464 --> 00:19:30,191
I am not gonna let you bait me
to get all soft and compassiony
396
00:19:30,221 --> 00:19:32,528
when we're this close
to nailing this competition.
397
00:19:32,558 --> 00:19:35,678
What would you say if I told you
I think the Colonel was murdered?
398
00:19:35,862 --> 00:19:37,745
More room at the top.
399
00:19:39,102 --> 00:19:40,573
Oh, my god, you're not kidding.
400
00:19:40,603 --> 00:19:42,632
I think the Colonel had a copy
of his secret recipe
401
00:19:42,662 --> 00:19:44,527
and someone killed him for it.
402
00:19:44,589 --> 00:19:47,698
How could you possibly know that
by just looking at his dead body?
403
00:19:49,351 --> 00:19:51,827
I'm an investigator. Working
with Emerson Cod has taught me things,
404
00:19:51,930 --> 00:19:54,580
deductive and inductive reasoning,
evidence-gathering.
405
00:19:54,683 --> 00:19:57,917
A dead body can say a lot
to the trained professional.
406
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:02,588
Anyway, my educated hunch tells me
that there's a murder to solve.
407
00:20:02,691 --> 00:20:05,582
You've never solved
a murder mystery alone before.
408
00:20:05,952 --> 00:20:06,952
I'm not alone.
409
00:20:12,122 --> 00:20:12,925
Me?
410
00:20:13,993 --> 00:20:15,285
I just got all tingly.
411
00:20:15,579 --> 00:20:17,103
And not just in the nether regions.
412
00:20:17,377 --> 00:20:19,841
Okay, how do we go
about this whole PI thing?
413
00:20:19,871 --> 00:20:22,435
Do we just jam the gun
in the suspect's mouth and say:
414
00:20:22,465 --> 00:20:25,861
"sing, canary, or I'm gonna decorate
this wallpaper with your guts"?
415
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:27,833
Neither.
416
00:20:28,641 --> 00:20:31,882
Technically, I don't believe you can
blow someone's guts out their mouth.
417
00:20:32,006 --> 00:20:32,827
Wuss.
418
00:20:33,434 --> 00:20:34,285
Holy smokes.
419
00:20:34,862 --> 00:20:36,080
Our oven's smoking.
420
00:20:45,087 --> 00:20:46,394
Sabotaged!
421
00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:47,883
I bet it was the beetle.
422
00:20:47,986 --> 00:20:49,543
I bet it was the Colonel's killer.
423
00:20:50,853 --> 00:20:53,372
I know this doesn't take
the sting out of the responsibility,
424
00:20:53,402 --> 00:20:55,524
but I brought some cash.
I thought...
425
00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:58,085
when we find the body, we'll take it
to the nearest funeral home,
426
00:20:58,115 --> 00:20:59,672
with the cash and a note that says:
427
00:20:59,702 --> 00:21:02,692
"Every human body deserves dignity.
Please bury this one."
428
00:21:02,838 --> 00:21:05,542
It'll be just like leaving a baby
on a doorstep, only...
429
00:21:06,149 --> 00:21:07,364
the tail end of things.
430
00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:10,877
And the point of this would be...
say... what?
431
00:21:10,907 --> 00:21:11,856
Closure.
432
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,717
Well, I got a feeling the body we find
is gonna give you anything but closure.
433
00:21:17,747 --> 00:21:20,472
- And where do you get that idea?
- Oh, I didn't just get it.
434
00:21:20,502 --> 00:21:21,771
It was given to me.
435
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,004
By Dwight Dixon.
436
00:21:32,196 --> 00:21:33,878
What was Dwight Dixon doing here?
437
00:21:33,908 --> 00:21:35,181
Let me show you something.
438
00:21:39,163 --> 00:21:40,040
A rifle?
439
00:21:40,535 --> 00:21:41,356
Yep.
440
00:21:41,581 --> 00:21:44,853
Looks like sweet old Dwight already
had himself a shot lined up.
441
00:21:45,251 --> 00:21:48,553
Your weighty conscience might not feel
so weighty after you look through here.
442
00:21:48,583 --> 00:21:50,327
Why would he have a gun?
443
00:21:54,593 --> 00:21:57,244
That's my father's grave.
He was trying to kill us?
444
00:21:57,428 --> 00:21:59,095
Not if you killed him first.
445
00:21:59,373 --> 00:22:00,667
Why would he want us dead?
446
00:22:00,697 --> 00:22:03,110
As is traditional, the "why"
447
00:22:03,140 --> 00:22:06,889
in this case was met
with an equal and opposite "because".
448
00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:08,743
Upon discovering
449
00:22:08,773 --> 00:22:12,195
that the pocket watch he had stolen
from Chuck had been stolen back,
450
00:22:12,987 --> 00:22:17,283
Dwight set out to reclaim
the mysterious timepiece one last time.
451
00:22:17,677 --> 00:22:19,560
Following Chuck to the graveyard,
452
00:22:19,590 --> 00:22:22,435
Dwight assumed her intent
was to return the watch
453
00:22:22,524 --> 00:22:25,235
to the grave from which
it had been stolen.
454
00:22:25,471 --> 00:22:28,335
Ready to pull the trigger
and reclaim his prize,
455
00:22:28,365 --> 00:22:32,856
Dwight paused, unbelieving
the unbelievable sight he saw.
456
00:22:33,174 --> 00:22:36,341
Dwight's mind reeled at the sight
of the pie maker and Chuck
457
00:22:36,371 --> 00:22:38,905
desecrating Charles Charles' grave.
458
00:22:39,173 --> 00:22:40,935
And, as is traditional,
459
00:22:40,965 --> 00:22:44,905
he decided to put an end
to the thing he did not understand.
460
00:22:45,269 --> 00:22:47,824
But,
as all his reeling and unbelieving
461
00:22:47,854 --> 00:22:50,444
had taken exactly 61 seconds...
462
00:22:51,814 --> 00:22:53,973
No shot was ever fired.
463
00:22:54,187 --> 00:22:57,303
If I hadn't have kept my dad alive,
I'd have been murdered twice.
464
00:22:57,406 --> 00:22:58,771
Yeah, once was enough.
465
00:22:58,801 --> 00:23:00,474
And Ned... he'd be gone, too.
466
00:23:00,534 --> 00:23:02,184
My accidentally killing Dwight
467
00:23:02,403 --> 00:23:05,311
lights up three points on our side
of the cosmic scoreboard.
468
00:23:05,414 --> 00:23:08,968
Plus, you save that bundle you would
have blown on burying Mr. Boom-Boom.
469
00:23:08,998 --> 00:23:10,401
Better we bury him right here.
470
00:23:10,563 --> 00:23:12,924
I got a couple shovels in the car.
We'll get him under the dirt
471
00:23:12,954 --> 00:23:15,079
before the "pay your respects at lunch"
crowd shows up.
472
00:23:15,109 --> 00:23:17,354
By the time the grass grows
back over this plot,
473
00:23:17,567 --> 00:23:19,794
it'll be like
none of this ever happened.
474
00:23:19,824 --> 00:23:22,493
And I can't wait till
it's like none of this ever happened.
475
00:23:23,189 --> 00:23:24,437
But it did happen.
476
00:23:26,653 --> 00:23:28,182
Someone sabotaged our oven.
477
00:23:28,212 --> 00:23:29,628
The flame won't shut off.
478
00:23:29,689 --> 00:23:32,551
Let it burn... Maybe it'll destroy
this building and all its memories
479
00:23:32,581 --> 00:23:34,767
of almost winning
with the cleansing power of flame.
480
00:23:34,797 --> 00:23:36,719
Olive, we're staying in the contest.
481
00:23:37,293 --> 00:23:38,595
- We are?
- We need to keep
482
00:23:38,698 --> 00:23:41,061
competing as cover
so we can investigate Likkin's murder.
483
00:23:41,091 --> 00:23:43,092
Winning would make
an excellent cover.
484
00:23:43,231 --> 00:23:46,309
Whoever killed the Colonel
is a risk-taker, desperate...
485
00:23:46,444 --> 00:23:49,052
- same as our saboteur.
- So find the saboteur, find the killer.
486
00:23:49,082 --> 00:23:51,459
Maybe we find ingredients.
They took everything to bake pies.
487
00:23:51,489 --> 00:23:52,317
I'm on it.
488
00:23:54,471 --> 00:23:55,988
Vivian, what are you doing here?
489
00:23:56,343 --> 00:23:58,552
Honey, have you been crying?
490
00:23:58,784 --> 00:24:01,201
I stopped by the Pie Hole,
but it was closed. And...
491
00:24:01,730 --> 00:24:03,428
yes, I was crying.
492
00:24:03,687 --> 00:24:05,080
Why is the Pie Hole closed?
493
00:24:05,532 --> 00:24:07,625
It's man trouble. I can tell.
494
00:24:07,881 --> 00:24:10,084
I knew that Dwight Dixon
was heartbreak waiting to pop.
495
00:24:10,169 --> 00:24:11,404
This is Lily's fault.
496
00:24:11,671 --> 00:24:14,765
She aimed a shotgun at his privates
and told him to stay away from us.
497
00:24:14,795 --> 00:24:17,424
But half of us is me,
and I don't want him away.
498
00:24:17,454 --> 00:24:18,802
I want him close.
499
00:24:19,853 --> 00:24:22,386
- Give us a minute.
- Vivian, it's good to see you.
500
00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:24,365
Come on.
501
00:24:25,332 --> 00:24:26,484
Forgive me.
502
00:24:26,514 --> 00:24:30,805
I'm so wrapped up in my man, I'm
thoughtlessly keeping you from yours.
503
00:24:30,916 --> 00:24:32,358
Who? Ned?
504
00:24:33,020 --> 00:24:35,556
No. No,
we're partners in a contest...
505
00:24:35,586 --> 00:24:38,029
Unromantic partners,
like a brother and a sister,
506
00:24:38,059 --> 00:24:41,367
like an asexual, androgynous
brother and a sister.
507
00:24:41,428 --> 00:24:42,348
My man?
508
00:24:45,346 --> 00:24:46,830
No, that's a laugh.
509
00:24:47,899 --> 00:24:50,636
When Dwight didn't show up for our date,
I tried to laugh, too,
510
00:24:51,142 --> 00:24:54,168
tried to tell myself my feelings
for him were silly.
511
00:24:55,357 --> 00:24:57,507
But lying to yourself about love
512
00:24:57,610 --> 00:24:58,926
never works.
513
00:25:00,153 --> 00:25:01,079
Damn.
514
00:25:01,109 --> 00:25:02,086
I know.
515
00:25:02,236 --> 00:25:05,495
But still, I keep lying
and looking all the same.
516
00:25:06,525 --> 00:25:08,643
If you see Dwight at the Pie Hole,
517
00:25:09,168 --> 00:25:11,062
will you tell him about
the "looking" part?
518
00:25:11,777 --> 00:25:13,164
I'd like to see him.
519
00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:14,485
I understand.
520
00:25:21,135 --> 00:25:22,723
Boy, do I understand.
521
00:25:23,177 --> 00:25:24,201
I found something.
522
00:25:25,597 --> 00:25:28,157
The saboteur who sabotaged our oven
left behind one sticky mistake.
523
00:25:28,416 --> 00:25:31,704
What is it?
Toxic soot with a dash of DNA?
524
00:25:32,019 --> 00:25:36,368
It's sweet, woodsy, like a Berkshire
forest on a crisp autumn morning.
525
00:25:37,267 --> 00:25:38,415
Caramelized sugar.
526
00:25:38,445 --> 00:25:39,550
Maple syrup.
527
00:25:39,898 --> 00:25:42,502
Only one chef here
uses pure maple syrup.
528
00:25:43,496 --> 00:25:45,384
- The Waffle Nazi.
- The Waffle Nazi.
529
00:25:47,768 --> 00:25:49,511
- Good, ja?
- Ja.
530
00:25:51,955 --> 00:25:54,371
Chuck had seen
dead bodies talk before,
531
00:25:54,401 --> 00:25:55,691
but this was different.
532
00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:59,567
This was just her guilty mind
giving rise to her guilty feelings.
533
00:26:00,043 --> 00:26:02,739
You're just my guilty mind
giving rise to my guilty feelings.
534
00:26:03,890 --> 00:26:06,410
Doesn't change the fact
that you have royally screwed up.
535
00:26:07,331 --> 00:26:08,912
Fine. You talk, I'll shovel.
536
00:26:09,084 --> 00:26:10,052
Was it worth it?
537
00:26:10,456 --> 00:26:12,149
Sure, fine, I'm a bad man.
538
00:26:12,179 --> 00:26:14,812
You saved three good people
by putting me down...
539
00:26:14,842 --> 00:26:17,171
A three-for-one sale
on the grandest scale.
540
00:26:17,305 --> 00:26:18,893
Anytime with those shovels!
541
00:26:19,986 --> 00:26:21,216
What would you have done?
542
00:26:21,669 --> 00:26:22,974
Same thing, probably.
543
00:26:23,004 --> 00:26:25,428
I'd have killed you, too.
But here's the difference.
544
00:26:25,532 --> 00:26:26,555
Emerson!
545
00:26:26,615 --> 00:26:28,057
I would have told Ned by now.
546
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:30,100
Shut up!
547
00:26:30,161 --> 00:26:31,310
Who you talking to?
548
00:26:31,370 --> 00:26:32,553
Shut up!
549
00:26:33,270 --> 00:26:34,365
Nothing. No one.
550
00:26:35,153 --> 00:26:38,067
I don't need to talk to anyone about
anything, 'cause my conscience is clear.
551
00:26:38,347 --> 00:26:39,970
Good. Then grab a shovel.
552
00:26:40,476 --> 00:26:42,363
Ned will never forgive you.
553
00:26:51,396 --> 00:26:54,656
This is an incredible violation
of the PCCFCO rule
554
00:26:54,686 --> 00:26:57,163
that says no chef is allowed
in another chef's kitchen.
555
00:26:57,193 --> 00:27:00,037
- It's immediate disqualification.
- Concentrate on the killer.
556
00:27:00,067 --> 00:27:02,365
That Waffle Nazi
is likely our saboteur.
557
00:27:02,395 --> 00:27:04,120
Find the saboteur, find the killer.
558
00:27:04,277 --> 00:27:05,233
Go, go, go, go.
559
00:27:05,263 --> 00:27:06,199
- Me?
- Go.
560
00:27:06,229 --> 00:27:07,931
Attention, contestants.
561
00:27:07,961 --> 00:27:10,515
This is your 20-minute warning.
562
00:27:11,957 --> 00:27:14,876
Any evidence linking Waffle Nazi to
Colonel Likkin would wrap this case up
563
00:27:14,906 --> 00:27:17,957
brown paper and tie it up
with a strong, sturdy twine.
564
00:27:20,758 --> 00:27:22,465
You know what I love about Vivian?
565
00:27:22,495 --> 00:27:23,570
Her imagination.
566
00:27:23,743 --> 00:27:25,689
She thought
you and I were a couple now.
567
00:27:26,383 --> 00:27:27,286
It's crazy.
568
00:27:27,316 --> 00:27:29,556
It's like imaging us as hobbits...
569
00:27:29,997 --> 00:27:31,178
or on jet packs...
570
00:27:32,430 --> 00:27:33,830
or hobbits on jet packs.
571
00:27:35,268 --> 00:27:38,934
Isn't the idea of us
romantically entwined
572
00:27:39,766 --> 00:27:41,504
a panic, a scream,
573
00:27:41,607 --> 00:27:44,256
a four-hour heart attack
of complete impossibility?
574
00:27:44,286 --> 00:27:45,384
It all makes sense.
575
00:27:47,131 --> 00:27:49,512
- It does?
- This batter's better than batter.
576
00:27:49,616 --> 00:27:51,532
It's the evidence
we need to wrap up this case.
577
00:27:51,562 --> 00:27:52,348
Hurray.
578
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:53,975
What is it?
579
00:27:57,239 --> 00:27:58,442
Delicious!
580
00:27:58,869 --> 00:28:00,084
Savory, not sweet.
581
00:28:00,365 --> 00:28:02,252
Bursting
with what's got to be like...
582
00:28:02,792 --> 00:28:04,232
500 herbs and spices.
583
00:28:04,421 --> 00:28:06,121
It's the Colonel's secret recipe.
584
00:28:09,124 --> 00:28:10,840
And the killer on a plate.
585
00:28:10,870 --> 00:28:13,438
- Sir, I accuse you of...
- Sabotage!
586
00:28:14,034 --> 00:28:16,199
You have sabotaged mein irons!
587
00:28:16,857 --> 00:28:17,874
We didn't do that.
588
00:28:18,169 --> 00:28:19,544
Don't cry, mein Herr.
589
00:28:19,810 --> 00:28:21,734
Look... It's justice o'clock.
590
00:28:21,764 --> 00:28:22,954
I'm telling.
591
00:28:24,363 --> 00:28:26,773
It looks as if you are soon
to be eliminated from ze competition.
592
00:28:26,833 --> 00:28:29,746
We're kicking you out
before you baked yourself out.
593
00:28:29,776 --> 00:28:31,763
When Leo Burns
tootles up on his scooter
594
00:28:31,793 --> 00:28:33,956
and sees how many rules
you have broken,
595
00:28:33,986 --> 00:28:36,587
your dreams of Comfort Food glory
are kaputt.
596
00:28:36,647 --> 00:28:38,524
You saw our oven.
We were sabotaged, too.
597
00:28:38,554 --> 00:28:39,864
Liars roast in hell.
598
00:28:40,938 --> 00:28:42,843
- Just sayin'.
- We're not the saboteurs.
599
00:28:43,423 --> 00:28:44,748
Oh, ya, ya...
600
00:28:44,778 --> 00:28:46,861
mein waffle cord
leaped into your arms
601
00:28:46,891 --> 00:28:49,641
like a puppy wanting love
and then cut itself in two.
602
00:28:49,701 --> 00:28:51,234
When we present the evidence we got,
603
00:28:51,264 --> 00:28:53,517
you can kiss the cook-off
auf wiedersehen.
604
00:28:55,474 --> 00:28:56,891
It's "goodbye" in German.
605
00:28:57,182 --> 00:28:58,869
I do not speak a vord of German.
606
00:28:59,161 --> 00:29:01,511
I speak English
mit a German accent.
607
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:03,943
Pageantry.
608
00:29:04,886 --> 00:29:08,865
We found this batch of the
Colonel's secret recipe in your kitchen.
609
00:29:08,925 --> 00:29:10,817
That's a big bowl of motive, Fritz.
610
00:29:10,927 --> 00:29:12,218
Are you suggesting murder?
611
00:29:12,679 --> 00:29:13,759
Ridiculous.
612
00:29:13,905 --> 00:29:16,789
Herr Likkin and I were soon
to become business partners.
613
00:29:16,850 --> 00:29:18,082
Chicken and waffles?
614
00:29:18,143 --> 00:29:20,090
Would have caught Popeyes
with their pants down.
615
00:29:22,463 --> 00:29:25,756
What in the name of Julia Child
are you people doing?
616
00:29:26,204 --> 00:29:28,757
I can't count the number
of rules violations going on.
617
00:29:28,959 --> 00:29:30,072
I'm so disappointed.
618
00:29:30,226 --> 00:29:32,741
There may be the appearance of rules
being bent or broken completely,
619
00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:34,624
but there's a bigger picture
you need to see.
620
00:29:34,814 --> 00:29:36,783
I just
haven't finished painting it yet.
621
00:29:36,813 --> 00:29:38,227
We're not the saboteurs.
622
00:29:38,287 --> 00:29:39,397
Poppycock.
623
00:29:39,427 --> 00:29:41,166
The Pie Hole is disqualified.
624
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:50,698
All right, that ought to do it.
625
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:52,242
Let's get out of here.
626
00:29:52,272 --> 00:29:54,450
No, wait. We need a priest
or a rabbi or
627
00:29:54,675 --> 00:29:56,692
- somebody to say something.
- What?
628
00:29:56,722 --> 00:29:58,470
Dwight might not have been
the nicest man,
629
00:29:58,500 --> 00:30:00,708
but everybody deserves
a burial with dignity.
630
00:30:01,273 --> 00:30:04,255
Fine. I got butt loads of dignity
to sprinkle on the ground.
631
00:30:04,285 --> 00:30:05,803
- Come on. Get holy.
- Thank you.
632
00:30:06,947 --> 00:30:08,510
Here lies Dwight.
Here lies his gun.
633
00:30:08,540 --> 00:30:10,718
He was bad. Now he's done.
Let's go.
634
00:30:11,833 --> 00:30:14,031
All this and I still have
to deal with my mother?
635
00:30:14,093 --> 00:30:15,306
Don't you mean "father"?
636
00:30:18,661 --> 00:30:19,727
Lily.
637
00:30:21,031 --> 00:30:21,854
Delighted.
638
00:30:21,914 --> 00:30:23,898
Can the crap
and sell it to the tourists.
639
00:30:25,088 --> 00:30:27,652
- What are you doing here, Cod?
- What in the hell are you doing here?
640
00:30:27,713 --> 00:30:29,403
Waiting for Dwight Dixon.
641
00:30:30,715 --> 00:30:32,948
Well, he may disappoint.
642
00:30:33,544 --> 00:30:34,489
Men do that.
643
00:30:35,274 --> 00:30:36,480
What's with the shotgun?
644
00:30:37,154 --> 00:30:38,181
Military salute.
645
00:30:38,304 --> 00:30:39,747
For Dwight Dixon?
646
00:30:40,179 --> 00:30:41,466
For Charles.
647
00:30:41,889 --> 00:30:44,183
But if I happen to miss and
648
00:30:44,213 --> 00:30:46,836
blow Dwight's head off,
purely by accident,
649
00:30:47,764 --> 00:30:50,936
well, that's something my lawyers
can pretty much sort out later.
650
00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:53,094
So lovely catching up.
651
00:30:59,284 --> 00:31:01,002
Well, that's everything.
652
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:04,722
But there's no trunk big enough
to carry home my busted dreams
653
00:31:04,752 --> 00:31:07,066
- of blue-ribbon victory.
- Back to the Pie Hole.
654
00:31:07,651 --> 00:31:10,784
Which is empty, which is strange,
because Chuck should be there.
655
00:31:13,161 --> 00:31:14,782
The Colonel's chicken booth.
656
00:31:14,903 --> 00:31:16,075
An empty nest...
657
00:31:16,580 --> 00:31:17,840
chock-full of clues.
658
00:31:18,694 --> 00:31:22,032
A really bold detective team would
sneak over for one last bit of recon
659
00:31:22,062 --> 00:31:24,366
before packing up
their pots and pans for good.
660
00:31:30,045 --> 00:31:34,385
Remember, bakers' hats
and hairnets must be worn
661
00:31:34,446 --> 00:31:36,254
at all times.
662
00:31:37,805 --> 00:31:39,428
Memorize the scene...
Every detail...
663
00:31:39,458 --> 00:31:41,925
The prints in the batter,
the footprints, the gurney tracks.
664
00:31:41,955 --> 00:31:43,106
What's that?
665
00:31:43,567 --> 00:31:45,094
Oh, sprinkles.
666
00:31:45,124 --> 00:31:46,619
I love sprinkles.
667
00:31:46,649 --> 00:31:47,843
You love clues.
668
00:31:48,024 --> 00:31:50,189
Two great tastes
that taste great together.
669
00:31:53,068 --> 00:31:54,887
Painted plastic... cheap jewelry.
670
00:31:55,775 --> 00:31:57,665
Left here before
the Colonel was killed.
671
00:31:57,695 --> 00:31:59,995
Which means
they belong to the killer.
672
00:32:00,025 --> 00:32:03,748
Attention, contestants,
this is your 10-minutes warning.
673
00:32:14,036 --> 00:32:16,827
The most important thing is to keep
our wits about us and our nerves steady.
674
00:32:16,887 --> 00:32:19,695
There's no good in freaking out, so
don't go crazy and start, I don't know,
675
00:32:19,725 --> 00:32:21,596
kissing me
or something ridiculous like that.
676
00:32:21,626 --> 00:32:24,373
Just because we're locked in a trunk,
we could die at any minute...
677
00:32:25,154 --> 00:32:26,121
What are you...
678
00:32:28,142 --> 00:32:30,744
Clean thoughts, chum.
679
00:32:37,175 --> 00:32:40,078
Don't make me whip up
another batch of beat-down.
680
00:32:40,218 --> 00:32:41,863
Look... cheap plastic earrings.
681
00:32:41,923 --> 00:32:43,074
You're the killer!
682
00:32:43,104 --> 00:32:45,824
You're the killer.
You deep-fat-fried the Colonel.
683
00:32:45,854 --> 00:32:47,911
Suppose you were gonna bake me
in my own oven.
684
00:32:47,972 --> 00:32:49,287
Nobody's baking anybody.
685
00:32:49,503 --> 00:32:50,812
If you didn't kill him,
686
00:32:50,842 --> 00:32:52,742
what were you doing here
before he got killed?
687
00:32:52,772 --> 00:32:54,919
I thought the Colonel
died of a heart attack.
688
00:32:55,111 --> 00:32:57,337
I only snuck in here to try to...
689
00:32:58,256 --> 00:32:59,516
You're the saboteur.
690
00:32:59,546 --> 00:33:02,639
- But not the killer.
- Sabotage is a disqualifying offense.
691
00:33:03,528 --> 00:33:06,079
In the good Lord's good name,
have mercy.
692
00:33:06,270 --> 00:33:10,709
I need that blue-ribbon prize
if Muffin Buffalo is to roam again.
693
00:33:10,941 --> 00:33:13,858
You see before you
a desperate woman,
694
00:33:14,286 --> 00:33:15,512
not a killer.
695
00:33:15,542 --> 00:33:17,367
Marianne Marie Beetle!
696
00:33:17,823 --> 00:33:19,212
You can't be in here.
697
00:33:19,242 --> 00:33:20,218
Disqualified.
698
00:33:20,796 --> 00:33:23,435
Pie Holers, you can't be
in here at all. Banned for life.
699
00:33:24,035 --> 00:33:27,163
Which reminds me... I forgot to report
your disqualification to the judges,
700
00:33:27,193 --> 00:33:29,358
- which I'm going to do right now.
- You're the killer.
701
00:33:32,410 --> 00:33:34,311
Me? Look at me?
702
00:33:34,682 --> 00:33:37,988
I ride a scooter. What kind of killer
could I possibly be?
703
00:33:38,344 --> 00:33:39,952
The kind that leaves tracks.
704
00:33:40,012 --> 00:33:44,081
Those are gurney tracks from where the
paramedics wheeled away Colonel Likkin.
705
00:33:44,141 --> 00:33:46,184
Those flattened treads
that go from the batter back
706
00:33:46,214 --> 00:33:48,001
to the deep fryer
are killer tracks...
707
00:33:49,420 --> 00:33:50,332
Yours.
708
00:33:51,541 --> 00:33:54,137
Those are hot-oil burns
on your hands.
709
00:33:54,576 --> 00:33:57,197
Did the Colonel spatter
when you deep-fat-fried him,
710
00:33:57,227 --> 00:33:58,974
you sick son of a bitch?
711
00:34:00,233 --> 00:34:02,076
Pixie dust and lemonade!
712
00:34:02,106 --> 00:34:03,474
You have no proof.
713
00:34:03,677 --> 00:34:06,093
That story
will never hold up in court.
714
00:34:07,028 --> 00:34:07,939
This will.
715
00:34:09,603 --> 00:34:11,234
The Colonel's secret recipe.
716
00:34:11,842 --> 00:34:13,215
You're busted, Tubby.
717
00:34:13,641 --> 00:34:14,529
... this out.
718
00:34:14,559 --> 00:34:16,079
The facts were these...
719
00:34:16,483 --> 00:34:19,755
one year ago,
Leo Burns was a slender and happy
720
00:34:19,935 --> 00:34:21,836
but slightly lonely man.
721
00:34:22,041 --> 00:34:24,913
One day, he chose to drown
his sorrows in a bucket
722
00:34:24,974 --> 00:34:27,878
of Colonel
Likkin's southern-fried chicken...
723
00:34:28,306 --> 00:34:31,586
Which led to another... and another.
724
00:34:31,647 --> 00:34:35,335
And soon, the Colonel's unique blend
of 500 herbs
725
00:34:35,365 --> 00:34:38,462
and spices were all Leo could eat.
726
00:34:38,889 --> 00:34:41,350
Diabetes, obesity
and night blindness
727
00:34:41,380 --> 00:34:45,077
were all quick to follow
the coated volumes of wings,
728
00:34:45,107 --> 00:34:47,477
breasts and thighs Leo ate.
729
00:34:48,004 --> 00:34:50,265
Having lost himself to Likkin,
730
00:34:50,490 --> 00:34:54,078
Leo vowed to destroy the Colonel
and his precious recipe.
731
00:34:54,775 --> 00:34:59,110
Leo volunteered
as this year's Comfort Food coordinator,
732
00:34:59,413 --> 00:35:02,292
waiting for the Colonel
to make his annual appearance,
733
00:35:02,322 --> 00:35:05,078
which would become
his final appearance.
734
00:35:05,138 --> 00:35:06,747
But Leo could not bring himself
735
00:35:06,808 --> 00:35:10,388
to destroy the secret recipe
that robbed him of his life.
736
00:35:11,412 --> 00:35:13,166
And that was his undoing.
737
00:35:16,205 --> 00:35:18,690
Attention, cook-off contestants.
738
00:35:18,720 --> 00:35:22,979
All entries must be
on the judges' table in 30 seconds...
739
00:35:23,009 --> 00:35:24,514
30 seconds.
740
00:35:24,575 --> 00:35:26,642
Leo never reported
our disqualification.
741
00:35:26,672 --> 00:35:29,352
What can we do in 30 seconds?
We have nothing, and our oven is broken.
742
00:35:29,422 --> 00:35:31,480
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
743
00:35:31,744 --> 00:35:34,318
Which is why I brought
one of your killer icebox lemon pies,
744
00:35:34,348 --> 00:35:36,520
stored it in our fridge,
and called it "plan B".
745
00:35:36,753 --> 00:35:38,995
Don't mean squat
if it isn't on the judges' table in...
746
00:35:39,025 --> 00:35:42,578
20 seconds...
20 seconds.
747
00:36:35,487 --> 00:36:37,591
The Colonel would be so proud.
748
00:36:37,621 --> 00:36:39,030
Now that I have the recipe,
749
00:36:39,060 --> 00:36:41,954
that nice doughnut man and
I are gonna go into business together.
750
00:36:42,148 --> 00:36:44,111
Finger Likkin Doughnut Holes.
751
00:36:44,141 --> 00:36:45,262
Sounds delicious...
752
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:46,990
and filthy.
753
00:36:47,020 --> 00:36:49,371
America's favorite...
You'll make a fortune.
754
00:36:52,317 --> 00:36:54,795
The blue-ribbon first prize
755
00:36:54,825 --> 00:36:58,304
in this year's annual
Comfort Food Cook-off
756
00:36:58,334 --> 00:36:59,733
goes to...
757
00:37:00,306 --> 00:37:01,778
the Pie Hole!
758
00:37:32,655 --> 00:37:34,561
Close your eyes,
759
00:37:34,866 --> 00:37:38,240
give me your hand, darling,
760
00:37:38,661 --> 00:37:42,182
do you feel my heart beating?
761
00:37:42,362 --> 00:37:44,571
Do you understand?
762
00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:47,571
Do you feel the same?
763
00:37:48,313 --> 00:37:51,979
Or am I only dreaming?
764
00:37:52,594 --> 00:37:55,912
Or is this burning...
765
00:37:55,942 --> 00:37:59,461
an eternal flame?
766
00:37:59,554 --> 00:38:01,063
Say my name.
767
00:38:01,093 --> 00:38:02,088
It's Chuck.
768
00:38:02,538 --> 00:38:03,933
It's... Olive.
769
00:38:03,963 --> 00:38:05,700
No, it's Chuck.
I don't know where she is.
770
00:38:05,730 --> 00:38:07,985
She said she'd be
at the Pie Hole all day, and
771
00:38:08,015 --> 00:38:09,971
if she was there,
she'd have answered her phone.
772
00:38:10,032 --> 00:38:12,349
Maybe she's stepping out...
stepped out.
773
00:38:12,531 --> 00:38:14,871
I don't know where she is.
Vivian doesn't know where Dwight is.
774
00:38:14,901 --> 00:38:18,148
What if Dwight leaving Chuck's obituary
was more than an insurance policy?
775
00:38:18,610 --> 00:38:20,065
Do you mind if I go look for her?
776
00:38:21,208 --> 00:38:22,307
No, I don't mind.
777
00:38:24,362 --> 00:38:25,862
Sorry to leave you with the mess.
778
00:38:26,555 --> 00:38:27,790
I'm used to the mess.
779
00:38:31,402 --> 00:38:35,086
Sun shines through the rain
a whole life
780
00:38:35,434 --> 00:38:39,832
so lonely and then you come
and ease the pain.
781
00:38:41,327 --> 00:38:45,646
I don't want to lose this feeling.
782
00:38:47,255 --> 00:38:48,926
Say my name.
783
00:38:48,994 --> 00:38:50,053
Olive?
784
00:38:51,323 --> 00:38:52,973
Congratulations, partner.
785
00:38:54,119 --> 00:38:56,101
Congratulations to you, too,
partner.
786
00:38:59,808 --> 00:39:03,096
Do you feel my heart beating?
787
00:39:03,467 --> 00:39:05,968
Do you understand?
788
00:39:05,998 --> 00:39:08,613
Do you feel the same?
789
00:39:09,308 --> 00:39:13,162
Or am I only dreaming?
790
00:39:13,746 --> 00:39:16,918
Or is this burning
791
00:39:17,061 --> 00:39:19,906
an eternal...
792
00:39:21,537 --> 00:39:22,813
flame?
793
00:39:32,637 --> 00:39:33,466
Ned.
794
00:39:33,699 --> 00:39:34,685
Hello, Vivian.
795
00:39:35,235 --> 00:39:36,036
Lily.
796
00:39:36,066 --> 00:39:37,934
I was in the neighborhood,
passing by, really,
797
00:39:38,061 --> 00:39:41,479
when I wondered if you might like
some pie, which I forgot to bring.
798
00:39:41,766 --> 00:39:43,356
But while I'm here, I was also
799
00:39:43,417 --> 00:39:45,609
wondering if you knew where
I might find Dwight Dixon.
800
00:39:45,748 --> 00:39:48,093
Ninth circle of hell,
if there's any justice.
801
00:39:48,123 --> 00:39:49,305
Lily, stop.
802
00:39:50,188 --> 00:39:51,651
We don't know where Dwight is.
803
00:39:51,883 --> 00:39:53,583
How could you forget
a thing like pie?
804
00:39:53,613 --> 00:39:55,744
I find that curious.
It comes in a box, you know.
805
00:39:56,014 --> 00:39:58,663
Say, you got a squatter
in your old digs over there?
806
00:40:03,624 --> 00:40:04,812
I'll find out.
807
00:40:10,821 --> 00:40:13,094
The pie maker braced himself
to find Chuck
808
00:40:13,154 --> 00:40:16,556
held hostage by the deadly,
desperate Dwight Dixon.
809
00:40:20,620 --> 00:40:22,647
- I was worried. I thought...
- Charlotte.
810
00:40:23,206 --> 00:40:24,314
It's okay, dad.
811
00:40:25,187 --> 00:40:26,187
"Dad"?
812
00:40:28,504 --> 00:40:29,689
I was gonna tell you.
813
00:40:29,879 --> 00:40:31,483
Synchro:
Salomon & Gaillots
814
00:40:31,673 --> 00:40:33,401
Rereading:
Bruno & Toupack
815
00:40:34,305 --> 00:40:40,417
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