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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Come on, Al.
2
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Is that the best you can do?
3
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Peg, I can't concentrate
4
00:01:21,601 --> 00:01:24,800
if you're gonna keep
shouting instructions.
5
00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:28,433
Not like that, you moron.
6
00:01:28,467 --> 00:01:31,200
Who taught you
to do this, anyway?
7
00:01:31,234 --> 00:01:33,033
All right, that's it. I quit.
8
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Haven't we done enough
for one day?
9
00:01:34,968 --> 00:01:36,266
Oh, all right.
10
00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:38,533
At least ya did something.
11
00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:47,867
I'm sick of spending
my day-off scooping doodie.
12
00:01:47,901 --> 00:01:49,300
Damn dog.
13
00:01:49,334 --> 00:01:52,999
Why can't he use Marcie's yard
like everybody else?
14
00:01:53,033 --> 00:01:55,500
Well, here's another "why"
for you to ponder, honey.
15
00:01:55,534 --> 00:01:57,867
Why'd you bring
the doodie in the house?
16
00:01:59,901 --> 00:02:01,099
Heh-heh-heh.
17
00:02:01,133 --> 00:02:02,266
For the fun part, Peg.
18
00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:03,834
Watch this.
19
00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:10,567
Yow!
20
00:02:10,968 --> 00:02:12,967
Sorry, ma'am.
21
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,967
I hit a power-walker, Peg.
22
00:02:20,167 --> 00:02:21,133
She's coming in.
23
00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:22,800
Oh, whoa!
24
00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:27,400
Come on, Bud.
25
00:02:27,434 --> 00:02:29,099
My assignment
for modeling school
26
00:02:29,133 --> 00:02:30,900
is to take a total wreck
of a human,
27
00:02:30,934 --> 00:02:32,433
a complete fashion frog,
28
00:02:32,467 --> 00:02:33,667
and do a makeover.
29
00:02:33,701 --> 00:02:35,533
Please, I need an absolute zero,
30
00:02:35,567 --> 00:02:39,034
and everyone says
that you'd be perfect.
31
00:02:40,934 --> 00:02:43,300
Now, I have carefully crafted
my look over the years
32
00:02:43,334 --> 00:02:47,368
into the finely-honed babe train
you see before you.
33
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:51,468
To look at me,
is to love me.
34
00:02:56,868 --> 00:03:00,734
Sometimes love's
a hurtin' thing.
35
00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:03,133
I am not like
the other girls you know.
36
00:03:03,167 --> 00:03:05,333
I don't wanna change
your face or your body
37
00:03:05,367 --> 00:03:07,567
or your odious personality.
38
00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:09,533
Just give me a shot
at your clothes.
39
00:03:09,567 --> 00:03:13,734
And what is wrong
with my clothes, Kel?
40
00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:21,167
Nothing, Yoda.
41
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,066
If you're referring
to the jacket,
42
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:33,533
the salesgirl said Kevin Costner
swears by these jackets.
43
00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:35,333
And it is not a Yoda jacket.
44
00:03:35,367 --> 00:03:37,266
If it was, it wouldn't have been
up on the rack
45
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,633
next to
the Dick Tracy raincoats.
46
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,966
Oh, God.
47
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,099
I'm dressed like
an action figure.
48
00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:48,233
Kel, help me. Shoot me.
Dress me.
49
00:03:48,267 --> 00:03:50,767
There, there, Ewok.
50
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,433
Just trust me.
51
00:03:52,467 --> 00:03:53,667
When I'm through with you,
52
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,433
the only laughter
that you're gonna hear
53
00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:58,633
is when you're
out of your clothes.
54
00:04:13,734 --> 00:04:16,834
Oh, Al.
Take me again.
55
00:04:16,868 --> 00:04:19,934
I didn't even know
I was taking you then.
56
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,333
I tripped on a box,
57
00:04:21,367 --> 00:04:24,533
and then I thought
the furnace fell on me.
58
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:31,500
Probably God,
personally delivering a plague.
59
00:04:33,601 --> 00:04:34,633
Excuse me.
60
00:04:34,667 --> 00:04:37,500
Is this magnificent
beast yours?
61
00:04:37,534 --> 00:04:39,500
Yes, but she's very expensive.
62
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,066
Uh, no.
63
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,433
No, I meant the dog.
64
00:04:44,467 --> 00:04:46,133
I don't know
that dog.
Not ours.
65
00:04:46,167 --> 00:04:48,099
We chased it
off the lawn.
Oh.
66
00:04:48,133 --> 00:04:49,834
If you could tell me
whom he belongs to,
67
00:04:49,868 --> 00:04:53,334
it might be worth $10,000
to the owner.
68
00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:55,366
Ah, look, Peg.
69
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:59,099
That's our beloved
family pet.
70
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:02,366
I'm interested in using
your dog as a stud.
71
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,401
Well, let me--
Let me ask the dog.
72
00:05:07,133 --> 00:05:08,800
What do you say, boy?
73
00:05:08,834 --> 00:05:11,066
Well, he's not the most
attractive man in the world,
74
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:12,700
but he's got a kind face.
75
00:05:12,734 --> 00:05:14,767
Don't you think you could
maybe do something-- ?
76
00:05:14,801 --> 00:05:18,066
It's not for me,
you nitwit.
77
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,500
It's for my dog.
78
00:05:19,534 --> 00:05:22,333
Oh, uh...
79
00:05:22,367 --> 00:05:24,366
For your dog.
Yeah.
80
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:25,900
Uh--
81
00:05:27,267 --> 00:05:29,733
Peg, why don't you go upstairs
and get Buck's jacket
82
00:05:29,767 --> 00:05:33,400
and his little collar, you know,
his-- His evening collar.
83
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:36,500
Yeah, and maybe I better
throw in his muzzle.
84
00:05:36,534 --> 00:05:40,067
We wouldn't want the other dog
to get his hand bit.
85
00:05:42,501 --> 00:05:43,800
Perhaps I should explain.
86
00:05:43,834 --> 00:05:46,600
Uh, perhaps you should
do it from there.
87
00:05:47,801 --> 00:05:50,999
I am the proud owner
of grand champion
88
00:05:51,033 --> 00:05:53,467
Astoria's Lady of Marseilles.
89
00:05:53,501 --> 00:05:54,966
Winner of the best of breed,
90
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,600
Edinburgh International
Dog Show.
91
00:05:57,634 --> 00:06:01,467
I believe she is
the best briard bitch
92
00:06:01,501 --> 00:06:03,834
on the circuit today.
93
00:06:03,868 --> 00:06:05,533
And I'd want to mate her
with your dog,
94
00:06:05,567 --> 00:06:07,600
whose fine bones
I couldn't help but notice
95
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:12,133
as he, um, fell down
when he lifted his leg to pee.
96
00:06:12,167 --> 00:06:14,700
Well, that can happen
to a guy.
97
00:06:14,734 --> 00:06:16,500
Many's the time
my leg falls asleep,
98
00:06:16,534 --> 00:06:20,034
before you know it, whoop,
you're on your side.
99
00:06:20,601 --> 00:06:22,733
Spare us, Al.
100
00:06:22,767 --> 00:06:24,467
Relive some
old football memories
101
00:06:24,501 --> 00:06:25,700
in your head
or something.
102
00:06:25,734 --> 00:06:27,800
I'm gonna talk
to this man.
103
00:06:27,834 --> 00:06:29,633
So how do we get
that 10 thou?
104
00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:32,966
By breeding your champion
with mine.
105
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,001
I'll fly her in
from Munich,
106
00:06:37,634 --> 00:06:39,934
and upon successful breeding,
107
00:06:39,968 --> 00:06:44,200
I will pay the stud fee
of $10,000.
108
00:06:44,234 --> 00:06:45,200
Here's my card.
109
00:06:45,234 --> 00:06:47,600
Call me to arrange a date.
110
00:06:47,634 --> 00:06:49,900
Oh, and by the way,
111
00:06:49,934 --> 00:06:53,500
my Astoria is
a very discerning dog.
112
00:06:53,534 --> 00:06:55,533
So, for God's sakes,
113
00:06:55,567 --> 00:06:59,600
please, brush
your dog's teeth.
114
00:07:01,601 --> 00:07:02,867
Oh!
115
00:07:02,901 --> 00:07:05,034
Did you hear that, Al?
116
00:07:08,901 --> 00:07:10,934
Wake up, Gipper.
117
00:07:10,968 --> 00:07:12,500
Look at him, Al.
118
00:07:12,534 --> 00:07:15,166
Our home finally has
a breadwinner.
119
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,233
And he's a good boy too.
120
00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:19,600
He's a good little boy.
You're gonna get a lot of money.
121
00:07:19,634 --> 00:07:23,134
Yes, you are.
I was All City,
you know, boy.
122
00:07:23,634 --> 00:07:25,600
God, what is taking him
so long?
123
00:07:25,634 --> 00:07:26,633
Bud, come down here,
124
00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:28,934
the girls from my class
are waiting.
125
00:07:28,968 --> 00:07:30,934
I'm not ready.
126
00:07:30,968 --> 00:07:31,966
Relax, Kel.
127
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,433
What do you care
about your grade?
128
00:07:33,467 --> 00:07:34,800
You're getting
a cut of $10,000
129
00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:35,867
from your dog anyway.
130
00:07:35,901 --> 00:07:37,033
Yeah, but I'm probably
131
00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:38,934
gonna have to put that away
for my old age.
132
00:07:38,968 --> 00:07:42,633
You know the big two-five
is not so far away.
133
00:07:44,033 --> 00:07:46,133
I'm ready.
134
00:07:46,167 --> 00:07:49,433
Okay. Now, we all remember what
Bud looked like before, right?
135
00:07:49,467 --> 00:07:51,834
Sick.
Ew.
Ew.
136
00:07:51,868 --> 00:07:53,700
Okay, yeah, well,
hold that thought
137
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:56,600
while I introduce you
to the new Bud light.
138
00:07:56,634 --> 00:07:58,633
Budrick?
139
00:08:15,234 --> 00:08:17,233
What do you think, ladies?
140
00:08:17,267 --> 00:08:21,301
Early James Dean or
the bride of Leavenworth?
141
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,300
Well, you'll notice
how the attention
142
00:08:24,334 --> 00:08:27,366
has been subtly diverted
from the danger area,
143
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:28,999
his face,
144
00:08:29,033 --> 00:08:31,166
by the hat and
the plunging neckline.
145
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,999
Which, if he had a chest,
would now be exposed.
146
00:08:35,033 --> 00:08:37,967
Kelly, you're gonna get
an A for sure.
147
00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:39,533
I'm gonna go change
148
00:08:39,567 --> 00:08:41,834
and hang myself
in the shower now.
149
00:08:41,868 --> 00:08:44,633
Oh, please, not yet.
150
00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,533
Wouldn't you like
to go to the movies
151
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:49,333
or my dad's condo?
152
00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:51,633
Hey!
153
00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:53,099
I was gonna ask.
154
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,333
I always liked him.
155
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,667
Well, then wait till
I'm through with him.
156
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:58,567
Thank you, ladies,
157
00:08:58,601 --> 00:09:00,366
but the entertainment
is over for the day.
158
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,834
The clown must rest.
159
00:09:02,868 --> 00:09:05,300
I don't believe
any of you for a second.
160
00:09:05,334 --> 00:09:07,834
Well, would you
believe this?
161
00:09:10,734 --> 00:09:12,767
Well, how 'bout this?
162
00:09:14,934 --> 00:09:16,066
He's mine.
He's mine.
163
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:17,934
I saw him first when
he came down the stairs.
164
00:09:17,968 --> 00:09:20,033
Please!
I'm better friends
with Kelly than you.
165
00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:21,834
He was looking at me.
He was looking at--
166
00:09:21,868 --> 00:09:24,066
Ladies, ladies, ladies.
167
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:26,400
Now, we're all adults here.
168
00:09:26,434 --> 00:09:28,099
There's plenty of room
on this body
169
00:09:28,133 --> 00:09:30,667
for all of your hands.
170
00:09:36,667 --> 00:09:38,133
Uh, Kel.
171
00:09:38,167 --> 00:09:40,300
Tell Mom I'll be home
in a couple of days
172
00:09:40,334 --> 00:09:41,533
and to buy some food,
173
00:09:41,567 --> 00:09:43,633
'cause I think
I'm gonna be hungry.
174
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:54,567
Mother.
175
00:09:54,601 --> 00:09:56,334
Father.
176
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,133
Hey, how did Buck do?
177
00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:05,333
Did he and the girl dog
consummate?
178
00:10:05,367 --> 00:10:06,800
Well, not exactly.
179
00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:09,133
Buck got this really confused
look on his face,
180
00:10:09,167 --> 00:10:11,533
like he had no idea
what to do.
181
00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:14,667
I know that look well.
182
00:10:15,167 --> 00:10:16,366
If I've seen it once,
183
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,867
I've seen it once
every three months.
184
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:22,966
Now, Peg, there's $10,000
at stake here.
185
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,667
Not nearly enough
for what I'm about to do,
186
00:10:25,701 --> 00:10:26,966
but if you want
to get rich,
187
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,366
sometimes you have
to get dirty.
188
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,300
Peg, let's go upstairs.
189
00:10:31,334 --> 00:10:33,900
I want Buck to learn
from the best.
190
00:10:39,868 --> 00:10:40,834
Come on, Buck!
191
00:10:40,868 --> 00:10:43,368
Come on, boy!
192
00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:04,467
Come here, boy.
193
00:11:04,501 --> 00:11:05,667
Gee, Al.
Come here, boy.
194
00:11:05,701 --> 00:11:07,467
You were magnificent.
195
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,333
Where does he get it from?
196
00:11:09,367 --> 00:11:11,200
You know, I don't think
I've ever seen a dog
197
00:11:11,234 --> 00:11:14,767
try to cover his eyes
with his paws before.
198
00:11:14,801 --> 00:11:16,767
Well, that's what
I don't understand, Peg.
199
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,233
If he could
copy that from me,
200
00:11:18,267 --> 00:11:20,999
why couldn't he copy
the rest?
201
00:11:21,033 --> 00:11:23,667
Well, he does change
his underwear and socks
202
00:11:23,701 --> 00:11:25,368
as often as you do.
203
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,999
She's just kidding, boy.
204
00:11:28,033 --> 00:11:31,334
She knows as well as we do
that the man is the king.
205
00:11:31,834 --> 00:11:33,800
What are you doing?
206
00:11:33,834 --> 00:11:35,633
We're trying to make him
wanna have sex.
207
00:11:35,667 --> 00:11:38,767
Isn't that
a good boy?
208
00:11:39,834 --> 00:11:41,433
The man is the king.
209
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:42,966
He loves me
till I scream,
210
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:47,167
"Oh, baby. Oh, baby.
Please stop."
211
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,867
Hey, here's a proud beauty,
eh, boy?
212
00:11:56,234 --> 00:11:58,400
Legs that won't quit.
213
00:11:58,434 --> 00:12:01,700
Quite a saucy little lilt
to the tail.
214
00:12:01,734 --> 00:12:05,400
Look at that come-hither look
on her snout.
215
00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:07,099
Now, what I would do
if I were you,
216
00:12:07,133 --> 00:12:09,934
next time you hop
that briard,
217
00:12:09,968 --> 00:12:12,066
I'd just close my eyes
218
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:15,600
and pretend I was
Bundyfying a poodle.
219
00:12:16,334 --> 00:12:18,500
Listen to him, Buck.
220
00:12:18,534 --> 00:12:20,567
He satisfied me.
221
00:12:20,601 --> 00:12:23,600
Look how happy I am.
222
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,266
Gee, Al.
223
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,233
Nice to see you
down on all fours,
224
00:12:29,267 --> 00:12:31,667
like your forefathers.
225
00:12:32,467 --> 00:12:35,200
Next, perhaps you could point
to a wheel and say,
226
00:12:35,234 --> 00:12:37,433
"Me no understand wheel thing.
227
00:12:37,467 --> 00:12:40,468
Wanna buy some shoes?"
228
00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:44,233
Well, it-- It looks
like something
229
00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:47,767
that come from the Colonel,
all right, but the, uh--
230
00:12:52,234 --> 00:12:54,400
But the, uh-- The legs
are picked clean,
231
00:12:54,434 --> 00:12:57,434
a- and I don't see
any breasts.
232
00:12:59,267 --> 00:13:02,099
That was a good one, eh, boy?
233
00:13:02,133 --> 00:13:03,667
Well, from where I stand,
234
00:13:03,701 --> 00:13:05,467
the brain has been picked clean,
235
00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:07,734
and I can't find any hair.
236
00:13:08,834 --> 00:13:10,400
So, what's he doing,
237
00:13:10,434 --> 00:13:13,266
regaling Buck with his
high school football stories?
238
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:16,667
Ha! Buck's heard all
of those a thousand times.
239
00:13:17,634 --> 00:13:20,533
Don't you two people understand
that what this dog needs to see
240
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:24,533
is a strong, undisputed
male role model.
241
00:13:28,334 --> 00:13:30,834
Ah, Gigi's home.
242
00:13:32,734 --> 00:13:34,066
Thank you, ladies,
243
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:37,600
but I think I can make it
the rest of the way myself.
244
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:44,800
Ah!
245
00:13:44,834 --> 00:13:47,133
To be young again.
246
00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:51,134
Buck, make sure no harm
comes to the ladies.
247
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:56,166
Uh, son,
248
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,934
those weregirls
you were with, right?
249
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:01,967
They're women now.
250
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,633
Now, look, son,
I didn't say anything
251
00:14:04,667 --> 00:14:05,800
when you were, you know,
252
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:07,966
lilac-ing around the house
the other day, or--
253
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,800
Or yesterday when you
were wearing that skirt.
254
00:14:11,467 --> 00:14:13,233
Kilt, Dad.
255
00:14:13,267 --> 00:14:15,633
Sure, son.
256
00:14:15,667 --> 00:14:17,467
But tell me something, Bud.
257
00:14:17,501 --> 00:14:20,767
Y- you will be playing
baseball again, won't you?
258
00:14:21,634 --> 00:14:22,934
Hey, Mom, Dad.
259
00:14:22,968 --> 00:14:24,834
Did Bud tell you yet?
260
00:14:24,868 --> 00:14:25,999
Well, not in so many words,
261
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:28,867
but we're not blind.
262
00:14:30,734 --> 00:14:32,066
Not that.
263
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,333
I got an A
for making him over.
264
00:14:34,367 --> 00:14:36,533
There was
some stiff competition too.
265
00:14:36,567 --> 00:14:38,033
This one girl
brought in a chimp
266
00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:41,533
who was wearing a baseball cap
and a pair of polka-dot speedos.
267
00:14:41,567 --> 00:14:43,867
But I got the A
because my teacher said
268
00:14:43,901 --> 00:14:47,301
that I had less raw material
to work with.
269
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:50,567
Well, human-for-a-day,
the assignment's over.
270
00:14:50,601 --> 00:14:54,233
I gotta get these clothes
back to La Petite Poof.
271
00:14:54,267 --> 00:14:57,999
No way, meals-on-heels.
272
00:14:58,033 --> 00:14:59,767
I'm floatin' on
an ocean o' babes,
273
00:14:59,801 --> 00:15:02,467
and I needs my fishnets.
274
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:06,567
Do you realize that it costs me
$25 a day to rent this stuff?
275
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:09,800
Well, that's more
than it costs to rent you.
276
00:15:11,734 --> 00:15:12,834
Hi, Kelly.
277
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,967
Hi, Kelly.
278
00:15:19,901 --> 00:15:21,600
Ah, come on--
Don't worry, Al.
279
00:15:21,634 --> 00:15:22,767
He's just rebelling.
280
00:15:22,801 --> 00:15:24,333
I did it myself
for a while.
281
00:15:24,367 --> 00:15:25,500
'Course, I just drank--
282
00:15:25,534 --> 00:15:27,500
Drank beer
and smoked cigarettes.
283
00:15:27,534 --> 00:15:31,366
But then I wasn't rebelling
against heterosexuality.
284
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:32,800
You know,
speaking of which,
285
00:15:32,834 --> 00:15:34,800
I think you've got
a problem with your dog.
286
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:35,966
Oh, we know
all about it.
287
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,800
Neither he nor his master
can perform.
288
00:15:39,834 --> 00:15:42,366
Oh, well,
I can't speak for Al.
289
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,700
The satisfied look
on Peggy's face does that.
290
00:15:49,234 --> 00:15:51,600
But your dog is
a veritable windmill
291
00:15:51,634 --> 00:15:53,934
out on my yard with every dog
in the neighborhood,
292
00:15:53,968 --> 00:15:56,067
even the Hendersons' lawn elf.
293
00:15:57,234 --> 00:15:59,066
He's out there every day.
294
00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:01,767
You see, Peg, that's
this trouble with the briard.
295
00:16:01,801 --> 00:16:03,966
He's exhausted!
296
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,934
Well, I'll put a stop to this.
297
00:16:05,968 --> 00:16:09,201
Oh, gee. This should be
worth watching.
298
00:16:09,767 --> 00:16:11,099
'Cause I don't think it's wise
299
00:16:11,133 --> 00:16:14,033
for Al to try and break up
a tryst between Buck
300
00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:16,366
and what appears to be
a very large rottweiler
301
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,368
with a spike collar.
302
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:20,300
Hey! Hey, not there!
303
00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:22,600
Not th--
Hey, watch it now!
304
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:37,300
Well, Buck's been locked
down in the basement
305
00:16:37,334 --> 00:16:39,900
for two weeks now.
306
00:16:39,934 --> 00:16:43,500
With absolutely no female
contact whatsoever.
307
00:16:43,534 --> 00:16:46,034
God, how I envy him.
308
00:16:46,968 --> 00:16:48,066
Watch this, Peg.
309
00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:50,101
Buck!
310
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,834
Lady briard!
311
00:16:56,567 --> 00:16:58,401
Lassie!
312
00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:04,301
Nancy Reagan!
313
00:17:11,501 --> 00:17:15,001
See, that's why I never
believed that Sinatra story.
314
00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:18,099
Let's get him back
in the mood again.
315
00:17:18,133 --> 00:17:20,233
Buck!
316
00:17:20,267 --> 00:17:22,434
Mommy's shoes!
317
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,633
I'd say he's ready.
318
00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:29,333
Honey, are you sure you should
be going out so soon?
319
00:17:29,367 --> 00:17:32,767
I mean, the lockjaw
just cleared up.
320
00:17:33,033 --> 00:17:33,999
Come on.
321
00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:35,266
Here he is, Peg.
322
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,966
Looking unintelligent
as ever.
323
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,934
But I'll tell ya,
from the looks of my Playboys
324
00:17:38,968 --> 00:17:40,333
he shredded down there,
325
00:17:40,367 --> 00:17:42,967
I'll say he's ready to rock
to the tune of 10 grand.
326
00:17:43,434 --> 00:17:45,333
Come on. There we go.
Come on.
327
00:17:45,367 --> 00:17:46,867
Well, Al, be careful.
328
00:17:46,901 --> 00:17:49,533
I heard that the McGintys'
poodle was in heat.
329
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:50,733
Heel, boy!
330
00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:53,468
Heel! Heel! Oh, whoa, heel!
331
00:18:00,634 --> 00:18:01,600
Oh, and you know,
332
00:18:01,634 --> 00:18:04,266
so is the Ritter's Irish setter
333
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,633
right across the street.
334
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:06,934
You're killing me, boy!
335
00:18:06,968 --> 00:18:09,234
Killing me, boy!
336
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:14,767
And also the Finleys' beagle
behind our house.
337
00:18:14,801 --> 00:18:16,767
Hey now, Buck! Hey now, Buck!
338
00:18:16,801 --> 00:18:18,800
Hey! Ah! Oh!
339
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,567
Yep, I used to play hockey,
340
00:18:25,601 --> 00:18:26,733
and I was great.
341
00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:27,999
Then I said to myself,
342
00:18:28,033 --> 00:18:32,500
"Bud, you're an artist,
and very handsome.
343
00:18:32,534 --> 00:18:35,733
"Why would you let
your violent side take over?
344
00:18:35,767 --> 00:18:40,600
If you must swing a stick,
swing a stick for love."
345
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,333
That's beautiful.
346
00:18:43,367 --> 00:18:45,767
Take me.
347
00:18:49,534 --> 00:18:53,567
Well, it's been
a while since, uh--
348
00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:57,133
Well, it's been a while
349
00:18:57,167 --> 00:18:59,066
since your daddy took
Buck to do the deed.
350
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:02,300
That 10,000 bucks
should be on the way.
351
00:19:02,334 --> 00:19:03,567
Well, that's good,
Mom,
352
00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,966
'cause I'm running
low on lamè.
353
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:10,500
Did they reinstitute
the draft or something?
354
00:19:11,801 --> 00:19:12,800
He's here!
355
00:19:12,834 --> 00:19:14,033
We're rich!
Yes!
356
00:19:14,067 --> 00:19:16,467
Oh, Al, gimme
that check.
357
00:19:16,501 --> 00:19:19,500
Honey, this isn't
a check for $10,000.
358
00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:22,400
This is a bill
for $10,000.
359
00:19:22,434 --> 00:19:23,600
If you look closer,
360
00:19:23,634 --> 00:19:26,800
you'll see it's a bill
for $100,000.
361
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:29,834
See, Buck was ready,
all right.
362
00:19:32,634 --> 00:19:36,033
A little bit more ready
than our Lady of Astoria.
363
00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:37,834
Or should I say,
364
00:19:37,868 --> 00:19:40,867
the late Lady of Astoria?
365
00:19:41,868 --> 00:19:44,368
To death, Al?
366
00:19:47,701 --> 00:19:50,201
And beyond, Peg.
367
00:19:51,601 --> 00:19:52,834
But don't worry,
368
00:19:52,868 --> 00:19:56,033
the hundred thou is payable
over a three-day period.
369
00:19:56,067 --> 00:19:57,166
So I figure, you know,
370
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,966
a couple of busy days
at the shoe store,
371
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:03,301
maybe a lemonade stand manned
by my two daughters, here...
372
00:20:04,868 --> 00:20:06,533
...we'll be able to save up
enough money
373
00:20:06,567 --> 00:20:08,633
to buy a chocolate bar
and maybe some nylons
374
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:11,600
for my new cellmate, Bruno.
375
00:20:12,534 --> 00:20:13,600
Daddy?
376
00:20:13,634 --> 00:20:15,133
If it'll help any,
377
00:20:15,167 --> 00:20:20,067
you can have my share
of the $10,000.
378
00:20:21,467 --> 00:20:25,468
I'll miss you
most of all, Scarecrow.
379
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:27,500
Uh, excuse me.
380
00:20:27,534 --> 00:20:30,700
So you're not getting
a cut of $10,000?
381
00:20:30,734 --> 00:20:32,200
Well, no, but...
382
00:20:32,234 --> 00:20:36,067
what difference does that make
when we have what we have?
383
00:20:37,601 --> 00:20:39,500
Have that.
384
00:20:39,801 --> 00:20:41,066
Fine!
385
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:44,001
There's plenty more
where you came from, babe.
386
00:20:45,234 --> 00:20:47,733
I gotta see this.
387
00:20:47,767 --> 00:20:49,133
He didn't get the money.
388
00:20:49,167 --> 00:20:50,567
Let's burn him!
389
00:20:50,601 --> 00:20:52,500
Yeah!
Whoo!
390
00:20:52,534 --> 00:20:54,300
Not there! Not there!
391
00:20:54,334 --> 00:20:56,401
Kill him!
Watch it now!
392
00:20:58,701 --> 00:21:01,300
Aw, honey, don't be sad.
393
00:21:01,334 --> 00:21:02,934
The worst thing that happened
394
00:21:02,968 --> 00:21:04,767
is that we owe
another hundred grand.
395
00:21:04,801 --> 00:21:06,066
I mean, what are they
gonna do?
396
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:07,900
Garnish your paycheck?
397
00:21:11,934 --> 00:21:13,600
Yeah. Or yours.
398
00:21:15,968 --> 00:21:18,934
You know, go into
the kids' college funds.
399
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:22,600
Or our retirement fund.
400
00:21:22,634 --> 00:21:24,633
We don't have any!
401
00:21:26,601 --> 00:21:28,767
Or our life insurance.
402
00:21:31,667 --> 00:21:33,667
We have nothing!
403
00:21:37,801 --> 00:21:41,633
Ah, you really know how
to make me feel better, Peg.
404
00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:45,834
And you know what you could do
to make me feel better.
405
00:21:45,868 --> 00:21:47,834
Way ahead of you, babe.
406
00:22:13,634 --> 00:22:15,700
Hey, how 'bout that one?
407
00:22:15,734 --> 00:22:17,800
You're the king, baby.
408
00:22:17,834 --> 00:22:20,334
You got that right.
28476
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