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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:01:15,067 --> 00:01:17,700
We won!
We won!
We won!
2
00:01:17,734 --> 00:01:20,934
Oh, Al, listen
to my heartbeat. Oh.
3
00:01:24,801 --> 00:01:26,133
It's incredible, Peg.
4
00:01:26,167 --> 00:01:28,366
I can hear it
from here.
5
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,667
Sir, your ear hair
is sticking me.
6
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:35,633
Get over here and celebrate
with your family.
7
00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:38,700
That man cut in front of me.
8
00:01:38,734 --> 00:01:41,366
I should have been
the millionth customer.
9
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,867
Bundy. Cut in front
of this woman?
10
00:01:44,901 --> 00:01:46,967
What woman?
11
00:01:47,801 --> 00:01:51,533
Oh, you know it was me,
you gaggle of pirates.
12
00:01:51,567 --> 00:01:54,099
Now, I have stood
mutely by for five years
13
00:01:54,133 --> 00:01:56,166
and watched you
steal my paper,
14
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,633
siphon my gas,
15
00:01:57,667 --> 00:02:01,099
loiter in my bushes
doing God knows what.
16
00:02:01,133 --> 00:02:02,867
But I will not permit this.
17
00:02:02,901 --> 00:02:04,834
This is
my $1000 shopping spree
18
00:02:04,868 --> 00:02:06,733
and I will have
my shopping spree,
19
00:02:06,767 --> 00:02:09,533
if I have to carry my groceries
home in your skulls.
20
00:02:11,467 --> 00:02:13,600
You want me
to clock her one, Daddy?
21
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,434
Let me handle this.
22
00:02:19,934 --> 00:02:23,867
You know what you need to take
your mind off this, babe?
23
00:02:25,501 --> 00:02:28,101
A nice, cool Bud.
24
00:02:33,901 --> 00:02:37,667
And, uh, keep the biting
to a minimum.
25
00:02:38,067 --> 00:02:40,034
It's a school night.
26
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,099
Excuse me. Coming through,
coming through.
27
00:02:49,133 --> 00:02:50,834
Hi, there.
I'm Mr. Foodie.
28
00:02:50,868 --> 00:02:52,800
I'm here to congratulate
the lucky winner.
29
00:02:52,834 --> 00:02:54,266
By the way, who is it?
30
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:55,633
Me! Me!
31
00:02:55,667 --> 00:02:57,900
What a lovely couple.
32
00:02:57,934 --> 00:03:00,099
Uh, I'm not married
to thisthing,
33
00:03:00,133 --> 00:03:02,034
I'm married
to that thing.
34
00:03:03,634 --> 00:03:07,567
Wait a second.
Aren't you Al Bundy?
35
00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:09,600
Did you let this man pay
with a check?
36
00:03:09,634 --> 00:03:10,633
Hey.
37
00:03:10,667 --> 00:03:12,433
The only thing wrong
with my checks
38
00:03:12,467 --> 00:03:15,867
is they're postdated,
like your milk.
39
00:03:15,901 --> 00:03:18,999
This man cut in front
of me and bought gum.
40
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:22,033
Now, I have been a faithful
customer of this store
41
00:03:22,067 --> 00:03:23,266
for many years.
42
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:25,266
My checks are always good.
43
00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:26,966
I have a preferred
customer card.
44
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,066
And I know the Foodies jingle
by heart:
45
00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:31,066
♪ Foodies ♪
46
00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:32,999
♪ We're a store with food ♪
47
00:03:33,033 --> 00:03:36,034
♪ And heart ♪
48
00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:39,300
Well, you know,
that only proves
49
00:03:39,334 --> 00:03:42,366
that you two have
little rhythm and no lives.
50
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:45,533
We, on the other hand,
have a receipt...
51
00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:47,700
and no lives.
52
00:03:47,734 --> 00:03:50,600
And besides,
we live here.
53
00:03:50,634 --> 00:03:51,834
Hush, pumpkin.
54
00:03:51,868 --> 00:03:54,834
Now, now, go wheel
your brother to the car.
55
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,834
All right, Foodie, now,
what are you gonna do here?
56
00:03:57,868 --> 00:03:59,767
Well, there's only
one fair way.
57
00:03:59,801 --> 00:04:01,366
Give us
both prizes?
58
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,133
No, I meant fair
for Foodies.
59
00:04:04,167 --> 00:04:07,400
No, we'll let you compete for
the millionth-customer prize.
60
00:04:07,434 --> 00:04:09,467
Yes, you'll both be
in the shopping spree,
61
00:04:09,501 --> 00:04:10,467
And whoever comes up
62
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:12,767
with $1000 worth
of groceries first
63
00:04:12,801 --> 00:04:14,300
gets to keep 'em.
64
00:04:14,334 --> 00:04:15,834
Well, what does
the loser get?
65
00:04:15,868 --> 00:04:18,900
Gets to congratulate
the winner.
66
00:04:21,634 --> 00:04:24,467
You know, Al,
I've been thinking.
67
00:04:24,501 --> 00:04:28,233
What if we really do win
that $1000 worth of groceries?
68
00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:30,099
Then what do we do?
69
00:04:30,133 --> 00:04:31,867
Well, Peg, I saw on
60 Minutes last week,
70
00:04:31,901 --> 00:04:33,333
where some people found
with food
71
00:04:33,367 --> 00:04:35,434
actually cook it up
and eat it.
72
00:04:36,534 --> 00:04:39,433
I've never seen Morley
so shaken.
73
00:04:39,467 --> 00:04:40,867
So I was right.
74
00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:42,867
I'm not the winner
in this at all.
75
00:04:42,901 --> 00:04:45,467
You get all the food
and the glory,
76
00:04:45,501 --> 00:04:46,999
and I just get
endless hours
77
00:04:47,033 --> 00:04:50,167
standing in front
of the big hot thing.
78
00:04:50,934 --> 00:04:52,400
No, Peg,
that's the stove.
79
00:04:52,434 --> 00:04:55,101
You're
the big hot thing.
80
00:04:58,334 --> 00:05:00,900
Peg, Peg,
I'll tell you what.
81
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:04,300
If we win this contest...
I get six hot meals.
82
00:05:04,334 --> 00:05:05,934
Then we sell
the rest of the food,
83
00:05:05,968 --> 00:05:07,300
we get
an air conditioner.
84
00:05:07,334 --> 00:05:09,200
Really, Al? You mean it?
85
00:05:09,234 --> 00:05:10,800
We get an air conditioner?
86
00:05:10,834 --> 00:05:12,734
Six meals, Peg.
87
00:05:12,801 --> 00:05:13,767
One.
Four.
88
00:05:13,801 --> 00:05:14,867
One.
Three.
89
00:05:14,901 --> 00:05:15,867
One.
Two.
90
00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:17,401
One.
Done!
91
00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:25,433
Mom, Dad, I think
we're in for some trouble.
92
00:05:25,467 --> 00:05:27,633
Mr. and Mrs. D'Arcy are
out there doing wind sprints
93
00:05:27,667 --> 00:05:28,934
around the neighborhood.
94
00:05:28,968 --> 00:05:31,033
Then they come to stop signs
and drop for pushups.
95
00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:33,800
Yeah, Jefferson does 25
with Marcie on his back,
96
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,934
and then Marcie does 50
with Jefferson on her back.
97
00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:40,366
I'm not worried.
I'm a finely honed athlete.
98
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:41,733
And as for your mother,
99
00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:44,267
Peg, show them what
a real pushup looks like.
100
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,733
All right, kids, I admit it.
I did not marry well.
101
00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:56,333
But...if you haven't
ever believed
102
00:05:56,367 --> 00:05:57,667
anything I've ever told you...
103
00:05:57,701 --> 00:05:59,099
And we haven't.
104
00:05:59,133 --> 00:06:01,133
...believe this:
105
00:06:01,167 --> 00:06:04,001
We will win
this contest.
106
00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:09,200
We will win.
We will win big.
107
00:06:09,234 --> 00:06:11,333
We will win
in the Bundy tradition:
108
00:06:11,367 --> 00:06:13,267
We will cheat
our heinies off.
109
00:06:16,067 --> 00:06:17,966
Now, can I get
a "whoa, Bundy"?
110
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,434
Whoaaaa, Bundy!
111
00:06:34,767 --> 00:06:37,500
Look, Marcie.
Best cart in the lot.
112
00:06:37,534 --> 00:06:38,867
The Foodies cart stunk,
113
00:06:38,901 --> 00:06:42,166
but I got this baby from
a bag lady across the street.
114
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,867
They always have
the best stuff.
115
00:06:43,901 --> 00:06:48,099
You excite me like
no man I've ever met.
116
00:06:48,133 --> 00:06:49,767
No mercy to the Bundys.
117
00:06:49,801 --> 00:06:51,834
No mercy.
118
00:06:56,601 --> 00:06:59,734
Let's see 'em
top this, baby.
119
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:16,334
Excuse me.
120
00:07:17,467 --> 00:07:20,133
What is
this contraption?
121
00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:22,834
That's Peg.
You know her.
122
00:07:23,334 --> 00:07:25,834
Not that,
Pillsbury Shoeboy.
123
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:30,467
This thing you're pushing,
this is not a regulation cart.
124
00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:33,633
Au contraire, buzz cut.
125
00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:35,667
I found it right outside.
Didn't I, family?
126
00:07:35,701 --> 00:07:37,366
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, you did.
127
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,133
Mr. Foodie,
a ruling, please.
128
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,333
Hm?
129
00:07:41,367 --> 00:07:43,333
Oh, I don't know.
130
00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:44,767
No, it's one of yours.
131
00:07:44,801 --> 00:07:46,633
See? It says "We love Foodies"
on the side.
132
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,333
Oh, I like that!
133
00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:51,134
Here, let's-- Let's get
a picture of that baby.
134
00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:55,400
But I'm not sure that
this cart is one of mine.
135
00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,400
Well-- Hey...
136
00:07:57,434 --> 00:07:59,300
Doesn't wobble. Hm.
137
00:07:59,334 --> 00:08:03,434
Get these people
a regulation Foodies cart.
138
00:08:15,434 --> 00:08:17,200
All right, contestants,
places, please.
139
00:08:17,234 --> 00:08:20,433
Dad, where'd you get
this cart?
140
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:23,099
Made it myself in the garage
with parts of the lawn mower
141
00:08:23,133 --> 00:08:25,700
and the side of the house
and your mother's car.
142
00:08:25,734 --> 00:08:27,200
See, it's aerodynamic,
143
00:08:27,234 --> 00:08:29,133
got your front and rear
sway bars,
144
00:08:29,167 --> 00:08:31,133
rack-and-pinion steering,
145
00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:33,633
and genuine Ginsu spike
attitude adjusters
146
00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:35,167
on the hood.
147
00:08:36,434 --> 00:08:40,500
It's also got some, uh,
antipersonnel device or two...
148
00:08:40,534 --> 00:08:42,767
just for show.
149
00:08:48,534 --> 00:08:49,999
Damn that hair trigger.
150
00:08:50,033 --> 00:08:52,966
There goes
my tiebreaker, Peg.
151
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,400
Well, what do you think?
152
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:55,733
You can do all this,
153
00:08:55,767 --> 00:08:58,400
and yet you can't get
a better job than shoe salesman?
154
00:08:58,434 --> 00:09:00,300
I think
a little research will show
155
00:09:00,334 --> 00:09:02,400
that most of your great
implements of death
156
00:09:02,434 --> 00:09:06,167
are the result of zombied-out
daydreams of shoe salesmen.
157
00:09:08,033 --> 00:09:10,400
Well, now it's time to announce
the celebrity host
158
00:09:10,434 --> 00:09:14,200
of the Foodies millionth
customer competition.
159
00:09:14,234 --> 00:09:16,733
Well, you loved him
as the Beaver,
160
00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:21,400
and...now, I guess, er,
as the new Beaver.
161
00:09:21,434 --> 00:09:23,333
So let's give a nice,
warm Foodies welcome
162
00:09:23,367 --> 00:09:25,267
to Jerry Mathers.
163
00:09:35,834 --> 00:09:37,300
Thank you very much.
164
00:09:37,334 --> 00:09:38,800
You're very kind.
165
00:09:38,834 --> 00:09:43,001
I, uh, think our agreement
called for cash in advance.
166
00:09:45,267 --> 00:09:46,733
Ladies and gentlemen,
167
00:09:46,767 --> 00:09:50,233
it's certainly a pleasure
to be here at Foodies,
168
00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:56,233
the store with great food
and super low prices.
169
00:09:56,267 --> 00:09:57,433
Oh, merciful heavens,
170
00:09:57,467 --> 00:09:59,667
won't somebody please
shoot me?
171
00:09:59,701 --> 00:10:00,999
Somebody, please,
172
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:04,800
just put a bullet
through the ol' Beav's head.
173
00:10:04,834 --> 00:10:07,066
Oh, Al, look at him.
174
00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:10,700
He's brought so much pleasure
to so many.
175
00:10:10,734 --> 00:10:13,633
Can't you give him a job
at the shoe store?
176
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:15,300
Yeah, that's
all I need, Peg:
177
00:10:15,334 --> 00:10:18,600
Work all day with the Beaver
and come home to you.
178
00:10:22,968 --> 00:10:24,934
And, uh, now for the rules:
179
00:10:24,968 --> 00:10:28,066
Whoever gets $1000 worth
of food first
180
00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:29,600
gets to keep it.
181
00:10:29,634 --> 00:10:32,934
Which, by the way, is more
than I'm getting for this gig.
182
00:10:32,968 --> 00:10:34,934
Can it be true?
183
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:38,333
Can Match Game PM
not use another celebrity?
184
00:10:38,367 --> 00:10:44,468
Am I truly lower
than Charles Nelson Reilly?
185
00:10:45,267 --> 00:10:48,533
Who is
this blubbering mess?
186
00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:51,867
I think he was Opie.
187
00:10:52,868 --> 00:10:57,368
Opie was Ron Howard,
you little fool.
188
00:10:58,601 --> 00:11:00,533
I was--
189
00:11:00,567 --> 00:11:03,734
No, I am the Beaver!
190
00:11:04,534 --> 00:11:07,934
Thank you, Jerry Mathers.
Everybody. Everybody.
191
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,900
Spare me
your pity clap.
192
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:19,633
Sign this, Opie.
193
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:22,468
It's Jerry,
and it'll be two bucks.
194
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,667
Well,
what I think, uh--
195
00:11:25,701 --> 00:11:27,567
I think Mr. Mathers
means is, uh,
196
00:11:27,601 --> 00:11:29,600
contestants,
wish each other good luck.
197
00:11:29,634 --> 00:11:30,600
Drop dead.
198
00:11:30,634 --> 00:11:31,767
Lick feet.
Eat dust.
199
00:11:31,801 --> 00:11:33,867
Grow hair.
200
00:11:34,534 --> 00:11:36,733
On your mark...
201
00:11:36,767 --> 00:11:38,667
get set...
202
00:11:39,901 --> 00:11:41,500
...go!
203
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,800
Come on, Peg. Come on, Peg!
204
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:52,033
Follow me, Peg!
Follow me, baby!
205
00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:55,099
Come on, Peg, follow me!
Just like we planned.
206
00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:57,834
Just like we practiced.
Here's one.
207
00:11:57,868 --> 00:11:59,867
Here's two. Here's three.
208
00:11:59,901 --> 00:12:03,967
Peg! Peg!
Where is that damn woman?
209
00:12:04,734 --> 00:12:06,500
Look, Al. "Do It To Me Red."
210
00:12:06,534 --> 00:12:09,033
They never have this
at my salon.
211
00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:12,301
Look, if you want me,
I'll be in beauty supplies.
212
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,266
Hut!
Hut!
213
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,333
Hut!
Hut!
214
00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:16,667
Hut!
Hut!
215
00:12:16,701 --> 00:12:17,867
Hut!
Hu--
216
00:12:17,901 --> 00:12:19,366
Too cheap, honey.
We don't need it.
217
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,034
I know.
218
00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:32,400
Look, Al. I found
this really expensive--
219
00:12:32,434 --> 00:12:34,400
Al?
220
00:12:34,434 --> 00:12:38,233
Al Bundy, would you stop
fooling around?
221
00:12:38,267 --> 00:12:40,034
Come on.
222
00:12:42,033 --> 00:12:43,867
Al!
223
00:12:43,901 --> 00:12:47,767
Uh, listen, could you settle
a bet between me and my sister?
224
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,966
Now, she says you frittered away
all your money
225
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:53,200
on booze and cheap women.
226
00:12:53,234 --> 00:12:56,967
I say doughnuts
and cheap booze.
227
00:12:59,267 --> 00:13:03,101
Give me a quarter
or just go away.
228
00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:18,267
Get it in there.
Let's go. Let's go.
229
00:13:32,868 --> 00:13:34,734
Viva la Cart of Death!
230
00:13:37,968 --> 00:13:39,633
Mr. Beaver?
231
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:42,867
Could you settle another bet
between me and my brother?
232
00:13:42,901 --> 00:13:45,900
He says that you're so low,
that for this nickel,
233
00:13:45,934 --> 00:13:47,700
that you would stand
on this chair
234
00:13:47,734 --> 00:13:49,800
and bellow
like a moose.
235
00:13:49,834 --> 00:13:51,800
Now, I say, if you could
bellow like a moose,
236
00:13:51,834 --> 00:13:54,234
why would you be here?
237
00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:57,033
Beav.
238
00:13:57,067 --> 00:13:59,133
Oh, Beav.
239
00:13:59,167 --> 00:14:01,066
Attention, contestants.
240
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:02,467
Our first totals are in.
241
00:14:02,501 --> 00:14:04,600
The Bundys, $210.
242
00:14:04,634 --> 00:14:07,301
The D'Arcys, 270.
243
00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:11,401
Eat
hot grocery death!
244
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,934
Al! Honey!
We're losing!
245
00:14:14,968 --> 00:14:16,700
Now, you're a pro at that.
Do something!
246
00:14:16,734 --> 00:14:17,834
Stay calm, Peg.
247
00:14:17,868 --> 00:14:19,467
We've been paying
too much attention
248
00:14:19,501 --> 00:14:20,733
to what they
have been doing.
249
00:14:20,767 --> 00:14:22,200
From now on,
we play with our heads
250
00:14:22,234 --> 00:14:23,567
instead of our hearts.
Come on.
251
00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:24,567
Okay.
252
00:14:24,601 --> 00:14:25,567
Hut!
253
00:14:25,601 --> 00:14:27,266
Hut!
254
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:28,867
Come on, Marcie.
Hut!
255
00:14:30,133 --> 00:14:31,900
Jefferson.
Huh?
256
00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:41,233
See, Peg, if I was playing with
my heart instead of my head,
257
00:14:41,267 --> 00:14:42,999
I'd have waited
till Marcie was loading.
258
00:14:43,033 --> 00:14:44,633
Oh, you're a good man, Al.
259
00:14:44,667 --> 00:14:47,201
And a pretty darn
good friend too.
260
00:14:49,734 --> 00:14:52,700
Come on, Peg!
Come on, Peg!
261
00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:56,366
the D'Arcys, $720 worth.
262
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,567
The Bundys, $710.
263
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,700
Look, here's 50 cents.
264
00:15:03,734 --> 00:15:04,767
It's all I have.
265
00:15:04,801 --> 00:15:07,468
Just please,
leave me alone.
266
00:15:08,834 --> 00:15:10,300
Just one last question,
267
00:15:10,334 --> 00:15:13,900
if all the autographs hounds
can stay back for a second...
268
00:15:16,267 --> 00:15:18,800
Did you ever think of teaming up
with the Eddie Munster kid
269
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:21,301
for the Thoroughly
Pathetic Tour '91?
270
00:15:22,267 --> 00:15:24,867
Look...
271
00:15:24,901 --> 00:15:27,099
let's get this over with
once and for all.
272
00:15:27,133 --> 00:15:29,999
I may have to earn
a pathetic living
273
00:15:30,033 --> 00:15:32,033
by donning the cap
of the Beaver
274
00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:33,767
and appearing
at supermarkets,
275
00:15:33,801 --> 00:15:39,567
but at least my father doesn't
sell women's shoes.
276
00:15:47,934 --> 00:15:50,800
Golly, that felt good.
277
00:16:31,534 --> 00:16:32,767
That's my douche!
278
00:16:32,801 --> 00:16:34,401
Oh, yeah?
279
00:16:35,901 --> 00:16:37,934
Yeah? Well, you touched
my Girlie Fizz.
280
00:16:37,968 --> 00:16:39,834
Come on, give me that.
It's mine and I want it.
281
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:42,166
Damn it, Al!
Now, we're both men.
282
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,333
There's plenty of room
in feminine hygiene
283
00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:46,366
for the both of us.
284
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,067
All right?
Let's shake on it.
285
00:16:53,501 --> 00:16:55,667
I'm blind!
286
00:16:55,701 --> 00:16:58,401
And I smell
like summer rain!
287
00:16:59,701 --> 00:17:02,467
Peg! Peg, where are you?
288
00:17:02,501 --> 00:17:04,266
Right here, honey.
289
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:07,667
Damn Jefferson blinded me
with feminine goo.
290
00:17:07,701 --> 00:17:09,934
He ought to take some home
and spray it in his own eyes
291
00:17:09,968 --> 00:17:11,333
before he gets in bed
with that--
292
00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:12,934
Ow!
293
00:17:12,968 --> 00:17:14,567
Ow!
294
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,433
Al, Al, honey, come on,
stop dilly-dallying.
295
00:17:18,467 --> 00:17:19,633
We're behind!
296
00:17:19,667 --> 00:17:20,900
Come on.
297
00:17:20,934 --> 00:17:23,034
Let's go.
298
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:24,700
Jefferson, bonanza!
299
00:17:24,734 --> 00:17:26,633
Imported water!
300
00:17:26,968 --> 00:17:28,934
Oh, my God, my contact.
301
00:17:28,968 --> 00:17:31,101
I've lost my contact.
302
00:17:34,634 --> 00:17:36,433
You know, the problem
with you, Al,
303
00:17:36,467 --> 00:17:39,033
is you're playing too much
with Jefferson and Marcie
304
00:17:39,067 --> 00:17:41,500
to pay attention
to what you're doing.
305
00:17:42,501 --> 00:17:45,967
I guess I'll just have to pay
attention for the both of us.
306
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:52,900
Jefferson, I've fallen,
and I can't get up.
307
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,166
Marcie? Marcie?
308
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,167
Where are you?
309
00:18:07,367 --> 00:18:08,733
There you are.
310
00:18:08,767 --> 00:18:11,733
Look, Marcie.
Shallots from Italy.
311
00:18:11,767 --> 00:18:14,133
You know how much
these babies are worth?
312
00:18:14,167 --> 00:18:15,667
I don't know, honey.
313
00:18:15,701 --> 00:18:18,733
You think now you could
dash over to the first-aid aisle
314
00:18:18,767 --> 00:18:21,233
and see if you can find me
an artery clip?
315
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,500
Okey-dokey.
316
00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:28,734
Ah, me.
317
00:18:35,367 --> 00:18:36,567
That's me.
318
00:18:36,601 --> 00:18:38,667
I was the Beaver.
319
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,533
Who?
320
00:19:06,367 --> 00:19:08,467
Our two families are running
neck and neck.
321
00:19:08,501 --> 00:19:11,233
The, uh, the D'Arcys, $990.
322
00:19:11,267 --> 00:19:13,900
The Bundys, $979.
323
00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:17,500
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's a horse race.
324
00:19:27,067 --> 00:19:30,033
They've incapacitated
the Cart of Death, Peg!
325
00:19:30,067 --> 00:19:33,166
Oh, no.
Al, we're gonna lose!
326
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,500
Not this time, babe.
327
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:48,967
Stee-rike!
328
00:20:16,968 --> 00:20:19,934
One thousand dollars!
The Bundys win!
329
00:20:21,734 --> 00:20:23,533
We won! We won!
330
00:20:23,567 --> 00:20:25,733
Peg! Peg, where are you?
331
00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:27,166
Where are you, Peg?
332
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,166
I'm comin', Al.
333
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,433
I'm comin'.
334
00:20:29,467 --> 00:20:31,900
Gangway!
335
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,900
No, Peg, no! It's over!
336
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,934
Well, I married her.
337
00:20:42,934 --> 00:20:45,934
Well, throw another city
on the barbie, eh, God?
338
00:20:45,968 --> 00:20:49,066
It's 112, so please remember
to crack the window
339
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:51,834
when you leave Grandma
in the car.
340
00:20:52,567 --> 00:20:54,066
Oh, this is the life,
isn't it?
341
00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:55,133
Mm-hmm.
342
00:20:55,167 --> 00:20:57,266
Food and
an air conditioner.
343
00:20:57,300 --> 00:20:59,966
Well, your father finally
came through for us.
344
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,500
So when's Daddy gonna be
able to enjoy all this?
345
00:21:02,534 --> 00:21:03,733
Well, I don't know.
346
00:21:03,767 --> 00:21:05,266
The doctor says that cool air
347
00:21:05,300 --> 00:21:07,900
isn't really good
for an exposed liver.
348
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,266
But don't worry,
Daddy's happy in his pool.
349
00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:14,001
And I just brought him
a nice cool drink.
24458
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