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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Why do we have go through
the family album
2
00:01:19,701 --> 00:01:21,733
and X out the dead guy?
3
00:01:21,767 --> 00:01:25,266
Well, Dad said it helps
at Christmastime.
4
00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:26,400
"Never send a present
5
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:28,867
to someone who won't
send one back."
6
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,967
Then we should X out
Mom and Dad.
7
00:01:33,934 --> 00:01:36,934
Soon enough, Kel.
Soon enough.
8
00:01:37,534 --> 00:01:39,233
Well, I guess
it's buenos nachos
9
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,401
to Uncle Stymie.
10
00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:43,934
Yup. Uncle Stymie
was the only Bundy
11
00:01:43,968 --> 00:01:46,099
to have died of
natural causes.
12
00:01:46,133 --> 00:01:49,334
And to be named
after a Little Rascal.
13
00:01:50,334 --> 00:01:52,567
I can't believe
this guy's actually rich.
14
00:01:52,601 --> 00:01:53,900
Was he a real Bundy?
15
00:01:53,934 --> 00:01:55,800
Well, Dad explained it
to me.
16
00:01:55,834 --> 00:01:58,934
He was the only male Bundy
never to marry.
17
00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:04,567
I just hope Dad's
not too broken up over this.
18
00:02:04,601 --> 00:02:07,600
I mean, Uncle Stymie was
his favorite.
19
00:02:16,534 --> 00:02:19,600
Oh, God, why did it have
to be him?
20
00:02:19,634 --> 00:02:21,834
Why did it have
to be him?
21
00:02:21,868 --> 00:02:24,934
W- was that convincing, Peg?
22
00:02:24,968 --> 00:02:26,500
I wasn't pushing it
too much, was I?
23
00:02:26,534 --> 00:02:29,500
I mean, I don't wanna seem
greedy at the will reading.
24
00:02:29,534 --> 00:02:31,333
Well, then maybe
you shouldn't have asked
25
00:02:31,367 --> 00:02:34,099
for dibs
on his gold fillings.
26
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:36,200
What do you think, Peg?
Hankie? No hankie?
27
00:02:36,234 --> 00:02:38,200
Uh, better no hankie.
28
00:02:38,234 --> 00:02:42,767
It's still crusty from that flu
that hit the family in '84.
29
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,433
Hey, what do you think
your uncle was worth, Dad?
30
00:02:45,467 --> 00:02:47,733
Bud, how can you
put a worth
31
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:50,934
on the life of a man
like Uncle Buckwheat?
32
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:55,467
Stymie, Al.
33
00:02:55,501 --> 00:02:56,733
What's
the difference?
34
00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:59,533
Neither one of them
were germane to the plots.
35
00:02:59,567 --> 00:03:01,533
The point is
he saved all his money,
36
00:03:01,567 --> 00:03:02,633
and now, I'm gonna
get it.
37
00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:04,334
Let's go, Peg.
38
00:03:05,734 --> 00:03:06,934
Hey,
wait a minute.
39
00:03:06,968 --> 00:03:08,500
You two aren't going.
40
00:03:08,534 --> 00:03:09,667
Why?
41
00:03:09,701 --> 00:03:10,733
We loved Uncle Spanky
42
00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:13,434
just as much
as the next man.
43
00:03:13,968 --> 00:03:16,366
You don't even know
his name.
44
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:17,700
Look, what Daddy means
45
00:03:17,734 --> 00:03:21,234
is that the sadness would just
be too much for you kids.
46
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:24,700
They're not
coming back.
47
00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:29,767
They're taking the money
and leaving. I know it.
48
00:03:29,801 --> 00:03:32,266
Now, kids,
do you really think
49
00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:33,600
we could enjoy
this money
50
00:03:33,634 --> 00:03:36,600
without sharing it
with you?
51
00:03:38,934 --> 00:03:41,167
We're going
to this funeral.
52
00:03:41,968 --> 00:03:43,633
All right.
53
00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:45,500
But before you do,
I think we should all have
54
00:03:45,534 --> 00:03:48,366
a moment of silence
for our dear Uncle, uh...
55
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,401
Gang.
56
00:03:58,367 --> 00:04:00,334
Amen.
57
00:04:02,634 --> 00:04:04,500
We've been had.
58
00:04:06,634 --> 00:04:08,633
"And so the legacy
59
00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:11,166
"I, Stymie C. Bundy,
leave you,
60
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,366
"the last surviving
male Bundys,
61
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:17,600
"is proof that a male Bundy
can achieve greatness.
62
00:04:17,634 --> 00:04:20,401
"Did I mention
that I never married?
63
00:04:20,901 --> 00:04:21,867
"Well, regardless,
64
00:04:21,901 --> 00:04:23,099
"I'm sure you men
65
00:04:23,133 --> 00:04:27,033
"have all become successful
in your own ways.
66
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,900
"Iggy Bundy,
67
00:04:29,267 --> 00:04:30,233
"I'm sure you became
68
00:04:30,267 --> 00:04:33,366
"the astronaut
you dreamed of.
69
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,700
"Lester Bundy,
70
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,266
"I'm sure
you achieved your dream
71
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:40,467
"of becoming
a brain surgeon.
72
00:04:40,501 --> 00:04:43,400
"Eugene Bundy,
73
00:04:43,434 --> 00:04:45,433
"I wonder if you
achieved your goal
74
00:04:45,467 --> 00:04:49,266
of becoming
bank president."
75
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,500
I did.
76
00:04:51,534 --> 00:04:54,266
"And last,
and most certainly least,
77
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:56,099
"Al Bundy.
78
00:04:56,133 --> 00:04:59,334
Al, get your hands
out of your pants."
79
00:05:04,467 --> 00:05:06,966
"You never really had
a dream,
80
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,500
"but I only hope you had
the sense
81
00:05:08,534 --> 00:05:12,800
"to dump that wild redhead
who stole my wallet.
82
00:05:14,601 --> 00:05:16,233
"In conclusion,
83
00:05:16,267 --> 00:05:17,934
"rather than dividing
my estate
84
00:05:17,968 --> 00:05:19,999
"between all you vultures,
85
00:05:20,033 --> 00:05:23,133
I've decided to make
one Bundy really happy."
86
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:26,368
If it's you, Al,
I really love you.
87
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,301
If it's me, I--
I don't even know you.
88
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,633
"Therefore,
it is my final wish
89
00:05:41,667 --> 00:05:44,867
"that the first couple
to give birth to a Bundy male
90
00:05:44,901 --> 00:05:46,999
"named after me
91
00:05:47,033 --> 00:05:49,468
"and born in wedlock...
92
00:05:50,901 --> 00:05:53,266
"will receive
my entire estate.
93
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:58,134
That sum being $500,000."
94
00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:13,467
Uh, this may be
a stupid question,
95
00:06:13,501 --> 00:06:16,200
but why would you hide
your birth control pills?
96
00:06:16,234 --> 00:06:17,366
Safety precaution.
97
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,366
Oh. Kelly.
98
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,733
No. Al.
99
00:06:20,767 --> 00:06:22,166
Heh.
100
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,667
He got ahold of them once.
101
00:06:23,701 --> 00:06:24,800
He thought
they were food
102
00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:27,300
I was hiding in my purse.
103
00:06:27,334 --> 00:06:29,366
So he ate them
while watching a ball game.
104
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:30,467
Heh.
105
00:06:30,501 --> 00:06:32,133
You know, he actually kind
of liked it,
106
00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:34,533
because he didn't have to
shave for a month.
107
00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:37,166
I don't get it.
108
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,433
Why take birth control,
109
00:06:38,467 --> 00:06:40,900
when you could
get 500,000 bucks
110
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,800
for a Bundy baby boy?
111
00:06:42,834 --> 00:06:45,167
Plus what the zoo
would pay you for it.
112
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,099
You know, I wouldn't
have another baby
113
00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:51,633
if gold dust dripped
out of its nose.
114
00:06:52,234 --> 00:06:54,300
I mean, sure,
the money would be nice,
115
00:06:54,334 --> 00:06:55,667
but I mean,
all that trouble.
116
00:06:55,701 --> 00:06:58,800
The screaming
and the crying and...
117
00:06:58,834 --> 00:07:02,600
changing those diapers
three or four times a week.
118
00:07:04,634 --> 00:07:08,433
Well, at least that left
your weekends free.
119
00:07:08,467 --> 00:07:09,966
You'd think. Heh.
120
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,934
But I mean, you go away
for the weekend,
121
00:07:11,968 --> 00:07:12,934
and when you come home,
122
00:07:12,968 --> 00:07:16,800
they are never
where you left them.
123
00:07:16,834 --> 00:07:20,800
And then, of course, there's
that 10 months of pregnancy.
124
00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:22,334
Ten?
125
00:07:22,868 --> 00:07:25,500
Male Bundys never
wanna come out.
126
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,333
Oh, and then once
they're out,
127
00:07:27,367 --> 00:07:29,834
they never wanna
go back in again.
128
00:07:36,534 --> 00:07:39,700
But, you know, for once,
Al is excited about sex.
129
00:07:39,734 --> 00:07:41,700
And I am not gonna dampen
his enthusiasm
130
00:07:41,734 --> 00:07:43,533
with little details.
131
00:07:45,367 --> 00:07:46,800
So let me get
this straight.
132
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:49,633
You're turning down
half a mil
133
00:07:49,667 --> 00:07:51,966
to have sex with Al
for free.
134
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,900
Mm-hm.
135
00:07:55,467 --> 00:07:57,767
Personally, I would rather
drive back and forth
136
00:07:57,801 --> 00:08:00,467
over a speed bump.
137
00:08:00,501 --> 00:08:02,166
But I guess
that's just me.
138
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,166
And every other woman
in the world.
139
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,567
By the way,
where is the stallion?
140
00:08:07,601 --> 00:08:11,200
Oh, he's out buying Playboy,
Penthouse, Biker Babes, heh.
141
00:08:11,234 --> 00:08:14,434
You know, a little gas
for the engine.
142
00:08:14,601 --> 00:08:15,834
How disgusting
143
00:08:15,868 --> 00:08:18,400
that a man should need
outside stimulation.
144
00:08:18,434 --> 00:08:21,667
It's so insulting
to a woman.
145
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:24,366
Who do you think of
when you're with Al?
146
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,567
James Bond.
147
00:08:27,434 --> 00:08:29,468
All of them.
148
00:08:30,467 --> 00:08:31,633
How about you?
149
00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:34,800
Oh, I like to keep
my fantasies simple.
150
00:08:34,834 --> 00:08:37,400
It starts with me in
a really tight, short dress
151
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:40,266
at the end of a bar.
152
00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:41,333
At the other end,
153
00:08:41,367 --> 00:08:44,067
they're greasing up
Mike Tyson.
154
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,133
He's shadowboxing
and starting to sweat.
155
00:08:48,167 --> 00:08:50,167
Then the scene changes.
156
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:53,166
It's now
Madison Square Garden.
157
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,166
A smoky crowd throbs
with anticipation.
158
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:59,834
"Go, Marcie," they buzz.
159
00:08:59,868 --> 00:09:02,166
Tyson turns
into George Foreman,
160
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,533
who eyes me
like a basket of muffins.
161
00:09:05,567 --> 00:09:06,834
The bell rings.
162
00:09:06,868 --> 00:09:09,533
I try to fight,
but I'm powerless.
163
00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:10,867
Then our eyes meet.
164
00:09:10,901 --> 00:09:13,200
He gives me
the old one-two.
165
00:09:13,234 --> 00:09:15,066
The crowd is
on its feet cheering.
166
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:16,934
I'm down.
The count starts.
167
00:09:16,968 --> 00:09:19,733
The crowd's screaming,
"Get up!" But I can't.
168
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,900
I won't!
169
00:09:22,868 --> 00:09:25,667
Take me, Mandingo!
170
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:37,234
And then...sometimes I get
a little kinky.
171
00:09:37,734 --> 00:09:38,900
Peg...
172
00:09:38,934 --> 00:09:40,300
tonight your name
is Guinevere,
173
00:09:40,334 --> 00:09:42,600
and you were born in--
Yikes!
174
00:09:44,934 --> 00:09:46,099
Now look what
you've done.
175
00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:49,334
You might have
cost me $500,000.
176
00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:51,600
What are you
doing here?
177
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:54,834
Collecting smells
for the poor.
178
00:09:54,868 --> 00:09:56,400
You have so much.
179
00:09:56,434 --> 00:09:58,999
Couldn't you please spare some
for those poor unfortunates
180
00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:01,600
who have no odor
to call their own?
181
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:04,767
Peg, this is not
helping Lancelot.
182
00:10:04,801 --> 00:10:07,667
Marcie, I'll call you
when we're done.
183
00:10:07,701 --> 00:10:09,467
So you better run home
and get by the phone.
184
00:10:09,501 --> 00:10:11,500
It'll be ringing
in about a minute.
185
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:15,700
Let's go, baby.
186
00:10:16,634 --> 00:10:18,200
Well, what's wrong,
honey?
187
00:10:18,234 --> 00:10:20,867
Marcie looked at me.
188
00:10:21,934 --> 00:10:24,600
I might be shot
for the night.
189
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:26,700
I need some--
190
00:10:26,734 --> 00:10:29,533
I need some incentive.
191
00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:31,033
Incentive.
192
00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:32,600
Incentive.
193
00:10:32,634 --> 00:10:34,166
Okay.
194
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,066
We're in
a boxing ring.
195
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:38,633
You're George Foreman,
and I'm, uh--
196
00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:41,233
Oh, no, no, no.
That's my incentive.
197
00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:42,966
Okay. Uh, you want me
to run upstairs
198
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,166
and put on
a garter belt?
199
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,700
Ah...
200
00:10:45,734 --> 00:10:47,467
How about
my short pink teddy?
201
00:10:47,501 --> 00:10:50,201
You're not
helping me, Peg.
202
00:10:51,834 --> 00:10:53,834
I need some real incentive.
203
00:10:53,868 --> 00:10:55,667
Okay. Okay, honey,
I got it.
204
00:10:55,701 --> 00:10:57,366
Now, just picture this:
205
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,099
you're sitting
on the couch
206
00:10:59,133 --> 00:11:01,767
in front of
a big-screen TV.
207
00:11:04,734 --> 00:11:05,900
Forty-inch?
208
00:11:05,934 --> 00:11:07,366
I wish.
209
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,067
What?
210
00:11:13,734 --> 00:11:15,667
I mean, yeah.
211
00:11:15,701 --> 00:11:16,934
So there you are,
212
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:18,733
in front
of this big-screen TV.
213
00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:23,233
And on top of it is
this nice, shiny VHS.
214
00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:26,834
Just look how clear
that picture is.
215
00:11:26,868 --> 00:11:30,500
Slow down, baby.
Slow down.
216
00:11:30,534 --> 00:11:33,300
And every machine
in this house
217
00:11:33,334 --> 00:11:38,301
is wired to one
remote control unit.
218
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:41,834
And that remote
control
219
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:45,134
is yours, big boy.
220
00:11:47,234 --> 00:11:50,500
Let's go, Peg.
221
00:11:51,634 --> 00:11:53,966
We got things to do,
eyes to blindfold,
222
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,166
and babies to make.
223
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,166
You know, it may not work
the first time, honey.
224
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,767
I don't care.
225
00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:02,966
If it takes a million tries
and a million tears,
226
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,834
that young'un
shall be yours.
227
00:12:05,868 --> 00:12:08,333
And that money
shall be mine.
228
00:12:08,367 --> 00:12:09,800
Come on, babe.
229
00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:11,468
Let's go die a little.
230
00:12:22,067 --> 00:12:23,133
"To test for pregnancy,
231
00:12:23,167 --> 00:12:26,333
mix sample A
with reagent B."
232
00:12:26,367 --> 00:12:28,800
What's reagent B?
233
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:31,099
Hi, Daddy.
What you doing?
234
00:12:31,133 --> 00:12:33,767
Uh, nothing you need
to know about, honey.
235
00:12:33,801 --> 00:12:36,368
Oh, a home
pregnancy test.
236
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,900
Let me show you.
237
00:12:40,734 --> 00:12:43,834
Now, you just fill
the dropper to the line...
238
00:12:43,868 --> 00:12:47,834
and then shake the mix
with the anti-HCG conjugate.
239
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,733
Put it back
into the stand,
240
00:12:49,767 --> 00:12:51,333
add the litmus key...
241
00:12:51,367 --> 00:12:53,200
And if the test area--
242
00:12:53,234 --> 00:12:55,033
not the control area
-- turns blue,
243
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:57,633
then you have
a positive reading.
244
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:03,633
I, uh...
245
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:06,533
saw the professor do it
on Gilligan's Island.
246
00:13:08,934 --> 00:13:10,966
Oh, well, that's okay.
247
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,066
Now, it's clear.
248
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:13,266
What does that mean?
249
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:17,567
Well, it means that you
can still take PE.
250
00:13:19,734 --> 00:13:20,700
Al.
251
00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:23,301
Honey,
my temperature's up.
252
00:13:23,801 --> 00:13:24,834
I can't believe it.
253
00:13:24,868 --> 00:13:26,667
Two weeks, and she's
not pregnant yet.
254
00:13:26,701 --> 00:13:28,834
It's like having
two menial jobs.
255
00:13:31,701 --> 00:13:33,967
Having fun, Dad?
Go on with you.
256
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,733
Any Bundys
get pregnant yet?
257
00:13:38,767 --> 00:13:39,733
Nope.
258
00:13:39,767 --> 00:13:41,966
Good. I still
got a shot.
259
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,999
I just can't believe the babes
haven't been calling though.
260
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,867
I mean, I'm offering
me and a half million.
261
00:13:47,901 --> 00:13:49,333
I mean, I'll even
marry the broad.
262
00:13:49,367 --> 00:13:50,733
What more could
a girl want?
263
00:13:50,767 --> 00:13:53,567
A spine-crushing accident?
264
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,301
A bald spot?
265
00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:58,099
A weekend in Des Moines
266
00:13:58,133 --> 00:14:01,900
with Orville Redenbacher
and his really cool grandson?
267
00:14:08,601 --> 00:14:10,467
I know you're
just kidding.
268
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,667
Because I'm cool.
269
00:14:13,334 --> 00:14:14,633
I am.
270
00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:16,533
I know I am.
271
00:14:16,567 --> 00:14:19,301
I took the quiz
in Boys' Life.
272
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:21,033
Come on, Peg!
273
00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:23,133
Tell me what
I wanna hear, baby!
274
00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:26,133
Five hundred thousand
dollars, baby!
275
00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:28,101
Half a mil!
276
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,934
What if they do have
another baby?
277
00:14:33,968 --> 00:14:35,500
It'll be so confusing.
278
00:14:35,534 --> 00:14:37,567
I mean, what would
that be to me?
279
00:14:37,601 --> 00:14:40,001
A tutor?
280
00:14:42,901 --> 00:14:45,233
Well, I hope
they don't do it.
281
00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:49,133
I remember before you hatched,
I used to get some attention.
282
00:14:49,167 --> 00:14:50,934
I like to think that
if you were never born,
283
00:14:50,968 --> 00:14:53,600
that I would have been
the one who was able to read.
284
00:14:54,834 --> 00:14:57,334
There, that should
have done it.
285
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:13,066
* He works hard
For the money *
286
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:16,667
* So hard for it
Honey *
287
00:15:16,701 --> 00:15:17,667
* He works hard *
288
00:15:17,701 --> 00:15:18,867
* For the money *
289
00:15:18,901 --> 00:15:20,166
* So you'd better *
290
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,134
* Treat him right *
291
00:15:23,767 --> 00:15:27,200
* He works hard
For the money *
292
00:15:27,234 --> 00:15:30,767
* So hard for it
Honey *
293
00:15:30,801 --> 00:15:32,700
* He works hard
For the money *
294
00:15:32,734 --> 00:15:37,800
* So you'd better
Treat him right *
295
00:15:37,834 --> 00:15:38,800
* He works hard *
296
00:15:38,834 --> 00:15:40,066
* For the money *
297
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:41,400
* Hard for the money *
298
00:15:41,434 --> 00:15:43,600
* So hard for it
Honey *
299
00:15:43,634 --> 00:15:44,800
* Hard for it
Honey *
300
00:15:44,834 --> 00:15:46,800
* He works hard
For the money *
301
00:15:46,834 --> 00:15:48,066
* So you'd better *
* Better *
302
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:51,800
* Treat him right *
303
00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:54,033
* He works hard, hard *
* Hard, hard *
304
00:15:54,067 --> 00:15:55,834
* Hard for the money *
305
00:15:55,868 --> 00:15:57,400
* Hard, hard *
306
00:15:57,434 --> 00:15:58,867
* Hard for it
Honey *
307
00:15:58,901 --> 00:16:00,800
* Hard for the money *
308
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,366
* So you'd better *
309
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,434
* Treat him right *
310
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,867
* He works hard, hard, hard *
311
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:12,600
* Hard, hard, hard, hard... *
312
00:16:21,167 --> 00:16:23,066
Hi, Mom.
313
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:24,066
What are you doing?
314
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:27,033
Uh...
I'm, uh...
315
00:16:27,067 --> 00:16:29,366
taking fertility pills.
316
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,767
There.
All fertile.
317
00:16:30,801 --> 00:16:32,066
Where's Daddy?
318
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:34,066
Oh, uh, he's out back
getting some exercise.
319
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:35,600
Hm.
320
00:16:48,534 --> 00:16:50,266
Al. Honey.
321
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:53,567
My temperature is higher
than it's ever been.
322
00:16:56,501 --> 00:16:57,934
Daddy said he can't
do it anymore.
323
00:16:57,968 --> 00:17:00,233
You're killing him.
324
00:17:00,267 --> 00:17:02,667
Oh, come on, Al.
Just one more time.
325
00:17:02,701 --> 00:17:05,934
You'll never
have to do it again.
326
00:17:07,634 --> 00:17:10,201
Daddy says that he
can "snargly heathe."
327
00:17:12,567 --> 00:17:14,900
Hardly breathe.
328
00:17:16,267 --> 00:17:17,800
Al...
329
00:17:17,834 --> 00:17:20,999
It's half
a million dollars.
330
00:17:21,033 --> 00:17:24,533
You could get cable
with that kind of money.
331
00:17:26,534 --> 00:17:28,134
He says,
"Let's boogie."
332
00:17:30,501 --> 00:17:31,934
Do you want
your Gatorade, Daddy?
333
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,234
Okay.
334
00:17:41,467 --> 00:17:44,001
Brace me.
335
00:17:44,734 --> 00:17:47,234
God, he's light
as a feather.
336
00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:51,999
Hello.
337
00:17:52,033 --> 00:17:54,301
I'm looking for
Mr. Al Bundy.
338
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,301
I was Al Bundy.
339
00:17:57,934 --> 00:17:59,567
I'm personally letting
the heirs know
340
00:17:59,601 --> 00:18:01,133
that the race is over.
341
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,500
Thank God.
342
00:18:02,534 --> 00:18:03,500
Who won?
343
00:18:03,534 --> 00:18:04,867
I did.
344
00:18:04,901 --> 00:18:06,033
You're not a Bundy.
345
00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:07,300
I am now.
346
00:18:07,334 --> 00:18:09,467
Right after the will reading,
I married Eugene.
347
00:18:09,501 --> 00:18:12,001
Come, Eugene.
348
00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:18,300
This is the product
Stymie, Jr.
349
00:18:18,334 --> 00:18:21,099
I got Eugene a kind of
work release program.
350
00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:23,333
And work he did.
351
00:18:23,367 --> 00:18:25,133
Honey, I'll--
I'll be out in six years.
352
00:18:25,167 --> 00:18:27,133
You-- ? You'll hold the money
for us, won't you?
353
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:29,800
Of course, darling.
354
00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:32,999
Now, just don't get shot
trying to escape or something.
355
00:18:33,033 --> 00:18:35,633
Then what would I do?
356
00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:42,001
So long,
Uncle Eugene.
357
00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:43,567
Well,
358
00:18:43,601 --> 00:18:44,767
there's another fruitcake
359
00:18:44,801 --> 00:18:46,900
we won't have to
send at Christmas.
360
00:18:46,934 --> 00:18:48,867
Well, at least
it's over.
361
00:18:48,901 --> 00:18:49,966
But I don't get it.
362
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,834
A thousand times,
and nothing.
363
00:18:51,868 --> 00:18:54,600
I barely touched her,
and I had you two.
364
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,301
Well, at least
my appetite came back.
365
00:18:57,801 --> 00:19:00,700
Al, it's planting time.
366
00:19:00,734 --> 00:19:04,401
I'd like to plant a shovel
right between her barren eyes.
367
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,333
But first, some food.
368
00:19:09,367 --> 00:19:12,767
Then I'll be able to watch TV
sitting up again.
369
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:14,867
Hey,
I remember these.
370
00:19:14,901 --> 00:19:16,066
Tasty, crunchy.
371
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,433
Good for snacking
right out of the box.
372
00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:20,400
Daddy, don't
eat those.
373
00:19:20,434 --> 00:19:21,999
Those are
birth control pills.
374
00:19:22,033 --> 00:19:23,867
No, they're not. They're
fertility pills.
375
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:26,633
Mom's been
taking them.
376
00:19:29,901 --> 00:19:32,767
Al, I'm waiting.
377
00:19:34,801 --> 00:19:37,001
Leave me.
378
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:39,066
Uh, Dad--
379
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:41,334
Leave me.
380
00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:46,733
Be right there, punny.
381
00:19:46,767 --> 00:19:50,166
I- I just wanna check
your last test first.
382
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,101
Gee, I hope
it's positive.
383
00:19:53,868 --> 00:19:56,633
Oh, I have a good feeling
about this one.
384
00:20:05,367 --> 00:20:06,333
Oh, for joy.
385
00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:07,966
For joy!
386
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,867
We are blessed!
387
00:20:11,033 --> 00:20:13,133
We're what?
388
00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:15,333
We're what?
389
00:20:15,367 --> 00:20:17,166
We did it, babe.
390
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,433
Well, that's
impossible.
391
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:19,967
That can't be.
392
00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:23,133
I mean, not that I'm
not really happy. I--
393
00:20:23,167 --> 00:20:26,233
Oh, God.
394
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,934
Ah, there, there,
my little baby oven.
395
00:20:28,968 --> 00:20:31,400
Don't you ever
touch me again.
396
00:20:31,434 --> 00:20:33,300
Oh.
397
00:20:33,334 --> 00:20:36,533
Diapers and doodie.
398
00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:38,700
Feed me. Wash me.
399
00:20:38,734 --> 00:20:41,600
Unlock my door.
400
00:20:41,634 --> 00:20:45,034
Oh, my life is
truly over.
401
00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:48,966
Well, at least
there's the money.
402
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,934
Oh, honey.
I forgot to tell you.
403
00:20:50,968 --> 00:20:54,700
I found out today that
someone beat us to it.
404
00:20:58,133 --> 00:20:59,500
But, honey,
why should we worry?
405
00:20:59,534 --> 00:21:02,134
We have a love child
on the way.
406
00:21:03,567 --> 00:21:06,867
Wouldn't it be great
if we got twins?
407
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,900
I feel fat!
408
00:21:09,934 --> 00:21:13,266
Oh, honey, that means
just more of you to love.
409
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:16,001
Like 100 pounds.
410
00:21:16,801 --> 00:21:19,700
Gee, I hope you don't get
morning sickness again.
411
00:21:19,734 --> 00:21:23,600
You know. I-isn't it, like,
every day around this time?
412
00:21:23,634 --> 00:21:25,366
Gee, I don't feel
so good.
413
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,999
Ah, it's gonna be
lots of fun.
414
00:21:28,033 --> 00:21:30,500
A- and you'll be beautiful,
what with that glow
415
00:21:30,534 --> 00:21:33,467
and the varicose veins, and...
416
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:37,034
your nose swelling up
like a Christmas wino.
417
00:21:37,467 --> 00:21:39,633
But, honey, as I recall,
418
00:21:39,667 --> 00:21:42,133
pregnancy was the happiest
time of your life.
419
00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:44,166
Well, that
and the three years
420
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,134
it took you to
lose the weight.
421
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,867
Al, you are a pig.
422
00:21:48,901 --> 00:21:50,266
Yeah, but it won't be me
squealing
423
00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:53,167
those 40 hours
during labor.
424
00:21:57,901 --> 00:21:59,533
Wh-- ? What's
the matter, honey?
425
00:21:59,567 --> 00:22:01,066
You look kind
of pale.
426
00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:04,134
H- how about some nice
clams and peas?
427
00:22:11,634 --> 00:22:14,767
Eh, tomorrow, I'll shrink
all her clothes.
428
00:22:16,801 --> 00:22:19,800
Oh, mother of God!
429
00:22:22,767 --> 00:22:25,368
Yeah, you can't buy that
for half a mil.
29431
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