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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Kelly Bundy,
2
00:01:23,067 --> 00:01:24,500
you have
just been elected
3
00:01:24,534 --> 00:01:27,033
president of
the United States.
4
00:01:27,067 --> 00:01:30,233
What message would you give
to the American people?
5
00:01:30,267 --> 00:01:32,401
Let's dance.
6
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,066
Oh, no.
7
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,867
Not the president
dream again.
8
00:01:45,133 --> 00:01:46,800
Kel?!
9
00:01:46,834 --> 00:01:49,600
Who let the dog
in the White House?
10
00:01:51,167 --> 00:01:52,867
I got a date tonight.
11
00:01:52,901 --> 00:01:54,033
Now...
12
00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:55,567
I need you to smell me,
13
00:01:55,601 --> 00:01:57,334
and tell me
what you think.
14
00:01:58,834 --> 00:02:00,066
Ah.
15
00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:03,767
That daring combination
of Noxzema and Vaseline.
16
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,700
You know...
it has that sexy
17
00:02:07,734 --> 00:02:10,367
"just out of
the hospital" smell.
18
00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:13,900
It's Open Sesame,
you idiot.
19
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,934
The official cologne
of Buster Douglas.
20
00:02:16,968 --> 00:02:19,433
One shot, and you're
down for the count.
21
00:02:19,467 --> 00:02:21,800
Face it, Bud.
22
00:02:21,834 --> 00:02:23,867
You're a cootie.
23
00:02:24,934 --> 00:02:26,567
So you have
two choices.
24
00:02:26,601 --> 00:02:27,667
You can either
go out
25
00:02:27,701 --> 00:02:29,667
with the female version
of yourself,
26
00:02:29,701 --> 00:02:32,767
a cootessa...
27
00:02:32,801 --> 00:02:34,767
or you could try
a human girl,
28
00:02:34,801 --> 00:02:37,401
in which case you're
gonna need money.
29
00:02:43,501 --> 00:02:44,934
I'm home.
30
00:02:44,968 --> 00:02:46,400
Money, money, money.
31
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:47,700
Back, you dogs!
Back, I say!
32
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,733
Sit! Down! Heel!
33
00:02:51,467 --> 00:02:53,366
I don't have any money,
I swear.
34
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,133
Money, money,
money, money.
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00:02:55,167 --> 00:02:58,200
No. No. No. Aah-ha.
36
00:02:58,234 --> 00:03:00,600
Jackpot.
37
00:03:00,634 --> 00:03:02,567
Kids, wait a minute.
Your old dad's starving.
38
00:03:02,601 --> 00:03:04,066
Could you please
just...
39
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,833
Ah, who cares?
40
00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:09,300
I'll get my woman
to get me some food.
41
00:03:09,767 --> 00:03:12,100
I wonder where
the monster is.
42
00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:17,200
There's the coffin
opening now.
43
00:03:26,501 --> 00:03:27,467
You know...
44
00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:29,400
I really feel good.
45
00:03:29,434 --> 00:03:30,400
Eight hours at night,
46
00:03:30,434 --> 00:03:32,200
eight hours
during the day.
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00:03:32,801 --> 00:03:36,166
So you going to work,
coming home, what?
48
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,200
I'm never sure.
49
00:03:37,234 --> 00:03:39,200
I just go where
the car takes me.
50
00:03:39,767 --> 00:03:42,700
Al, what are we
gonna do tonight?
51
00:03:42,734 --> 00:03:43,800
Peg, I thought
tonight
52
00:03:43,834 --> 00:03:45,366
we might do
something different.
53
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:46,633
You know
the newlywed couple
54
00:03:46,667 --> 00:03:48,800
at the end
of the block?
55
00:03:48,834 --> 00:03:51,700
I peeked
in their window.
56
00:03:51,734 --> 00:03:54,300
Oh, you're
so kinky, baby.
57
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:56,467
Peg...
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00:03:56,501 --> 00:03:59,167
I want to do what
they were doing.
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00:04:00,267 --> 00:04:01,233
Well, I'm game.
60
00:04:01,267 --> 00:04:02,433
What were they doing?
61
00:04:02,467 --> 00:04:04,367
They were eating!
62
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:10,667
Like everyone else
on the block.
63
00:04:10,701 --> 00:04:13,600
Like on every other block
all across the country.
64
00:04:13,634 --> 00:04:14,767
Feed me. Feed me.
65
00:04:14,801 --> 00:04:16,567
You don't have any food?
That's all right.
66
00:04:16,601 --> 00:04:19,733
Take an arm, cook it up,
pass the ketchup.
67
00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:21,966
Just feed me.
68
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,966
You know what would
take your mind off of food?
69
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,900
Eating?
70
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,200
No, silly.
71
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:29,667
Taking me out.
72
00:04:29,701 --> 00:04:30,934
Let's go
to the movies.
73
00:04:30,968 --> 00:04:32,900
I know one
we'd both enjoy.
74
00:04:32,934 --> 00:04:36,633
It's Shirley MacLaine,
Glenn Close, Meryl Streep
75
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:40,900
and Sally Struthers
in Woody Allen's, Oh, My Head.
76
00:04:42,534 --> 00:04:44,666
Please feed me.
77
00:04:45,534 --> 00:04:46,633
Get the door,
honey.
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00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:48,633
No.
79
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:52,733
It must be that pizza
I ordered for you.
80
00:04:57,133 --> 00:04:58,834
Hi, Al.
81
00:04:58,868 --> 00:05:01,867
Well, it's flat and cheesy,
but it's no pizza.
82
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,999
Oh, pizza tonight,
huh?
83
00:05:11,033 --> 00:05:14,834
Save up a few
paychecks, did we?
84
00:05:14,868 --> 00:05:18,533
Peg, it's for you.
It's Frosty the No Man.
85
00:05:19,067 --> 00:05:20,133
Now, where's my pizza?
86
00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:22,433
Oh. Honey, you couldn't
really believe
87
00:05:22,467 --> 00:05:24,733
I ordered you a pizza.
88
00:05:26,901 --> 00:05:29,366
God, you are
so funny.
89
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,633
What you doing
tonight, Peg?
90
00:05:30,667 --> 00:05:32,266
Come on, Peg.
91
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:34,500
You really did order me
a pizza, didn't you?
92
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:38,566
Oh, of course
I did, honey.
93
00:05:43,501 --> 00:05:46,467
Well, you can see
myevening's entertainment.
94
00:05:46,501 --> 00:05:47,467
What do you
got going?
95
00:05:47,501 --> 00:05:48,567
I'm going dancing.
96
00:05:48,601 --> 00:05:50,233
Hey, since neither
of us has a man,
97
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,234
why don't you join me?
98
00:05:53,934 --> 00:05:56,066
Gee. I don't know.
99
00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:57,733
You know, Peg,
the good thing about it:
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00:05:57,767 --> 00:06:00,467
If he's more than 20 minutes
late, we get it for free.
101
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:08,934
Uh...
102
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,166
Dancing, you say?
103
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,667
Al, would you mind
if I went dancing with Marcie?
104
00:06:14,701 --> 00:06:17,333
Peg, I don't care if you
marry her and move in with her.
105
00:06:17,367 --> 00:06:19,700
Peg, did you remember
to order extra cheese?
106
00:06:19,734 --> 00:06:21,800
You know, Peg,
I love extra cheese.
107
00:06:21,834 --> 00:06:24,367
Yes, I know
you do, honey.
108
00:06:30,367 --> 00:06:32,633
It's coming.
It's coming.
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00:06:43,901 --> 00:06:45,566
Oh, gee.
110
00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:48,633
I-- I don't know if I
should be here, Marce.
111
00:06:48,667 --> 00:06:52,401
I feel guilty having fun
while Al's still alive.
112
00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:56,300
There is nothing wrong
with going out
113
00:06:56,334 --> 00:06:57,800
every now and then
to a classy place
114
00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:00,567
for some good,
innocent fun.
115
00:07:00,601 --> 00:07:02,467
Oh, boys.
116
00:07:02,501 --> 00:07:04,533
Incoming.
117
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:08,133
Hey, Marcie.
118
00:07:08,167 --> 00:07:09,800
You look terrific.
119
00:07:12,267 --> 00:07:14,633
Oh, look at
the desperation.
120
00:07:15,234 --> 00:07:16,999
It's just everywhere.
Huh.
121
00:07:17,033 --> 00:07:19,934
Can people really be so
hard up for human contact?
122
00:07:19,968 --> 00:07:21,066
Wanna dance?
123
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:22,767
You bet.
124
00:07:25,234 --> 00:07:26,833
Oh.
125
00:07:29,801 --> 00:07:31,566
Gee.
126
00:07:32,033 --> 00:07:35,200
You're so dry.
127
00:07:35,234 --> 00:07:37,266
I didn't know a man
could be so...
128
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,266
So dry.
Ha-ha-ha!
129
00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:39,733
Well, I...
130
00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:42,700
I never knew a woman
could be so red.
131
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:46,300
You know...
132
00:07:46,334 --> 00:07:48,133
you dance divinely.
133
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:49,300
Oh, do you really
think so?
134
00:07:49,334 --> 00:07:50,966
Yeah. I just wonder
if maybe next dance
135
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,833
I could lead?
136
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:55,833
Oh.
137
00:07:58,100 --> 00:08:00,500
Oh. Oh.
138
00:08:00,534 --> 00:08:02,333
You know, I haven't
done it in two years.
139
00:08:02,367 --> 00:08:04,166
Oh, yeah. You haven't
danced in two years?
140
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,234
Well, I haven't danced
in 12years.
141
00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:12,733
Ohh.
142
00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:14,933
Ah.
143
00:08:17,267 --> 00:08:19,099
Hmm. You know,
at first I thought
144
00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:20,433
you were just
being playful,
145
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,834
but I do believe
that's my wallet
146
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,733
you've got
in your hand.
147
00:08:27,934 --> 00:08:30,966
Oh. I'm sorry.
148
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,566
Ha-ha. Force of habit.
Heh-heh-heh.
Ah.
149
00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:37,167
So...
150
00:08:37,634 --> 00:08:39,733
where are we going?
151
00:08:40,434 --> 00:08:43,401
Anywhere you want,
babe.
152
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,099
Now, I told you...
153
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:46,400
when you're with me,
154
00:08:46,434 --> 00:08:48,667
the world is
your oyster.
155
00:08:48,701 --> 00:08:51,533
I'm not getting
on a bus.
156
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,767
And I wanna get fed.
157
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,800
No problem.
158
00:08:58,868 --> 00:09:01,934
Dad, I need
20 bucks, fast.
159
00:09:01,968 --> 00:09:04,200
Look what I got
waiting for me.
160
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,666
She's a tramp.
161
00:09:19,534 --> 00:09:21,767
I love
that cologne.
162
00:09:25,133 --> 00:09:26,867
Yeah, right.
163
00:09:29,033 --> 00:09:30,934
Hi, honey.
I ordered you a pizza.
164
00:09:30,968 --> 00:09:33,166
Ah! No, I'm not falling
for that one.
165
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,633
I was at that window
so long,
166
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:37,099
the neighborhood kids thought
I was a jack-o'- lantern.
167
00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:40,099
Now feed me orfeed me
to something.
168
00:09:40,133 --> 00:09:42,934
I just want to be
part of the food chain.
169
00:09:42,968 --> 00:09:44,934
Al, would you just
forget about food.
170
00:09:44,968 --> 00:09:46,600
Come dancing with me.
171
00:09:46,634 --> 00:09:47,633
It'll be fun.
172
00:09:47,667 --> 00:09:49,366
You can hold me
like you used to.
173
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,600
Oh, come on, Peg.
174
00:09:50,634 --> 00:09:53,566
That was after a six-pack
and a dare.
175
00:09:54,934 --> 00:09:55,900
Well, all right.
176
00:09:55,934 --> 00:09:57,900
I'll go dancing
by myself.
177
00:09:57,934 --> 00:09:59,300
But I'm
warning you.
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00:09:59,334 --> 00:10:02,233
It's getting harder and harder
to fend off the men.
179
00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:03,567
Well, Peg, I trust you.
180
00:10:03,601 --> 00:10:05,934
But if you do meet another man,
you must promise me this:
181
00:10:05,968 --> 00:10:08,767
Don't feed him,
because that would really hurt.
182
00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:11,500
You stink.
183
00:10:11,534 --> 00:10:13,666
Wash my socks.
184
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,133
Dad?
185
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,867
How come you let Mom
go dancing all the time?
186
00:10:27,901 --> 00:10:30,266
Well, pumpkin, that's just
something married people do
187
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,366
now and then so they don't
have to see each other.
188
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,099
Well, every time
that Mom goes out,
189
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,500
she asks if
it's okay with you.
190
00:10:36,534 --> 00:10:38,400
It's because she
wants you to say,
191
00:10:38,434 --> 00:10:41,433
"Don't go. Stay here with me.
I love you."
192
00:10:41,467 --> 00:10:43,533
See, sometimes people
just test you
193
00:10:43,567 --> 00:10:45,501
to see whether or not
you care.
194
00:10:46,133 --> 00:10:48,667
Anyhow, um...
I'm going out.
195
00:10:48,701 --> 00:10:51,500
I've got a date
with three bikers.
196
00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:53,666
One of them just
got out of prison.
197
00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:55,600
I probably won't be home
198
00:10:55,634 --> 00:10:57,833
till about 3 or 4
in the morning.
199
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,267
Have a nice
time, honey.
200
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,267
Gee, I hope that wasn't
a desperate cry for help.
201
00:11:19,701 --> 00:11:22,501
Oh, well.
At least I'm alone.
202
00:11:24,968 --> 00:11:27,467
Well, I hope that's
a Jehovah Witness...
203
00:11:29,634 --> 00:11:33,600
wanting to discuss hours of
philosophical observation.
204
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,133
You Al Bundy?
205
00:11:38,167 --> 00:11:40,333
Yes. Hold the applause.
206
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,333
What do you want?
207
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,867
I just think
you ought to know,
208
00:11:42,901 --> 00:11:45,933
that your wife has been
seeing my husband.
209
00:11:51,968 --> 00:11:54,933
Let me get this straight.
Pardon the expression.
210
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,533
You say that
your husband
211
00:12:01,567 --> 00:12:02,966
is running around
with my wife.
212
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,066
Yes.
213
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:05,500
Your husband?
214
00:12:05,534 --> 00:12:07,133
Yes.
215
00:12:07,167 --> 00:12:10,234
You know you're
a guy, right?
216
00:12:10,634 --> 00:12:12,467
Yes.
217
00:12:12,501 --> 00:12:14,767
Well, then, we got three guys
that won't touch my wife.
218
00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:16,666
What's the problem?
219
00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:19,233
It's Andy.
220
00:12:19,267 --> 00:12:21,867
I'm afraid that he's
slipping away from me.
221
00:12:21,901 --> 00:12:24,966
You see,
before me...
222
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,000
he had a woman.
223
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,900
Well, before my wife,
I had a woman too.
224
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:34,867
You don't understand.
This is serious.
225
00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:37,266
He's been leaving the house
every Tuesday and Thursday.
226
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,166
I trail him
in the station wagon.
227
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,133
They dance all night,
they giggle.
228
00:12:41,167 --> 00:12:43,033
She dips him,
she lifts him.
229
00:12:43,067 --> 00:12:44,567
She tosses him
around the room
230
00:12:44,601 --> 00:12:46,999
like Godzilla
with a railroad car.
231
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:49,099
Oh, my God. What did I do
to deserve this?
232
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:52,700
Uh, easy, big fella.
Easy there.
233
00:12:52,734 --> 00:12:55,700
I'm sure we can
figure out what happened.
234
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:59,000
Maybe your guy isn't getting
what he needs at home.
235
00:13:00,267 --> 00:13:01,633
Oh, no, our sex is great.
236
00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:03,633
I don't want to
hear about that.
237
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:07,366
Do you cook
for him?
238
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,366
Every day.
239
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,433
My mother always said,
240
00:13:09,467 --> 00:13:11,633
"A happy man
is a well-fed man."
241
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:15,367
And I do feed my man,
I'll tell you that.
242
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:22,800
Well...
243
00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:24,066
No, yeah, yeah.
244
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:27,667
Uh...we'd like to know
what you make for him.
245
00:13:27,701 --> 00:13:29,333
Well, tonight,
for example,
246
00:13:29,367 --> 00:13:31,501
I made him
a nice, juicy steak.
247
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:35,600
Mm-hm. And, uh,
what else?
248
00:13:35,634 --> 00:13:37,834
Uh, nice baked potato.
249
00:13:37,868 --> 00:13:39,366
You made it yourself?
250
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,934
It's-- It's not the kind
where he has
251
00:13:40,968 --> 00:13:43,999
to go to the door and wait,
and the potato never comes?
252
00:13:44,033 --> 00:13:45,533
Uh, no.
253
00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:48,066
But that's terrible
when that happens.
254
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:49,867
Well...maybe he's
just tired
255
00:13:49,901 --> 00:13:50,867
of you sitting
at home
256
00:13:50,901 --> 00:13:51,934
while he's out
working.
257
00:13:51,968 --> 00:13:53,033
No, I work.
258
00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:55,433
I'm an office manager,
40 thou a year.
259
00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:57,633
That bastard!
260
00:13:59,167 --> 00:14:00,867
Guys like that
deserve what they get.
261
00:14:00,901 --> 00:14:01,900
He's getting your wife.
262
00:14:01,934 --> 00:14:04,467
Well, let the punishment
fit the crime.
263
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,500
I don't know.
264
00:14:10,534 --> 00:14:12,200
Maybe it's my fault.
265
00:14:12,234 --> 00:14:13,800
Andy's a man
about town,
266
00:14:13,834 --> 00:14:15,333
whereas I just
like to stay home
267
00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:16,500
and watch
a ball game.
268
00:14:16,534 --> 00:14:18,033
Wait a second.
269
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,800
Wait a second.
270
00:14:19,834 --> 00:14:21,966
You-- You work,
you cook...
271
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,667
and you like
sports?
272
00:14:23,701 --> 00:14:24,667
Yeah.
273
00:14:24,701 --> 00:14:25,900
Except for soccer.
274
00:14:25,934 --> 00:14:28,666
I mean, that's not
really a man's game.
275
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,134
I love you.
276
00:14:44,834 --> 00:14:47,034
You know, I just
don't understand it.
277
00:14:48,501 --> 00:14:50,966
I mean, I know that
Andy's crazy about me,
278
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,366
and yet he hasn't
made a move on me.
279
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,567
He's been
a total gentleman. Huh.
280
00:14:55,601 --> 00:14:56,834
What's wrong with him?
281
00:14:56,868 --> 00:14:59,133
Oh, who cares?
282
00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:02,134
You gotta see
this guy's tattoo.
283
00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:04,434
It's a ship.
284
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:07,666
You should see
his sub.
285
00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:14,533
You know, it's not like I wanna
do anything with Andy.
286
00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:17,066
I just want to turn him on,
drive him wild,
287
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:20,000
make him sweat,
and then say no.
288
00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:23,234
Just like I always meant to
in high school.
289
00:15:29,934 --> 00:15:32,533
Hiya, beautiful.
290
00:15:36,601 --> 00:15:38,066
Oh.
291
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:41,600
So, uh, do you
find me...
292
00:15:42,634 --> 00:15:43,667
beautiful?
293
00:15:43,701 --> 00:15:45,300
I think...
294
00:15:45,334 --> 00:15:46,700
you are
the most beautiful woman
295
00:15:46,734 --> 00:15:47,733
I've ever known.
296
00:15:47,767 --> 00:15:48,767
Except for
my mother.
297
00:15:48,801 --> 00:15:51,367
And, of course,
Judy Garland.
298
00:15:53,734 --> 00:15:58,100
Oh, Andy. You're
embarrassing me. Ha-ha-ha!
299
00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:02,600
Um...I've got something
to tell you.
300
00:16:02,634 --> 00:16:05,933
I bet you do.
301
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,667
Ahh.
302
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,066
Well, I wanna
be honest with you,
303
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,834
because you've always been
honest with me, Lola.
304
00:16:12,868 --> 00:16:14,767
Oh, Andy.
305
00:16:14,801 --> 00:16:16,934
I know what it is
that you have to say.
306
00:16:16,968 --> 00:16:19,567
But before your passion
bursts into flame,
307
00:16:19,601 --> 00:16:21,200
I have to tell you:
308
00:16:21,234 --> 00:16:23,999
You can't have me,
because, uh...
309
00:16:24,033 --> 00:16:26,334
I'm engaged.
310
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,999
Oh...all right.
311
00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:31,333
I'm married.
312
00:16:31,367 --> 00:16:34,300
I have a confession
to make too.
313
00:16:34,334 --> 00:16:35,633
I'm also married.
314
00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:37,733
You pig.
315
00:16:37,767 --> 00:16:40,200
You've got a lot of nerve
leading me on.
316
00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:41,433
I didn't mean to.
317
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,233
I just-- I just wanted
to have a good time,
318
00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:44,733
and, you know,
get out of the house.
319
00:16:44,767 --> 00:16:46,400
Besides, just because
you're married
320
00:16:46,434 --> 00:16:47,600
doesn't mean
you're dead.
321
00:16:47,634 --> 00:16:50,334
It doesn't mean
you're alive either.
322
00:16:54,234 --> 00:16:55,800
Oh.
323
00:16:56,868 --> 00:16:59,366
You know, the one good thing
about us both being married is,
324
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,834
it sort of takes the pressure
out of this flirtation.
Yeah.
325
00:17:02,868 --> 00:17:05,600
I mean, you don't have to
worry about turning me on,
326
00:17:05,634 --> 00:17:08,134
and I don't have to worry
about turning you on.
327
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,433
But if that
should happen,
328
00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:19,733
then that's just something
you'll have to deal with.
329
00:17:33,133 --> 00:17:36,099
Oh, I like to see a man
enjoying his food.
330
00:17:36,133 --> 00:17:37,099
Mmm-um.
331
00:17:37,133 --> 00:17:38,867
Want some cake?
332
00:17:43,234 --> 00:17:44,966
Hey...
333
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,834
it's warm.
334
00:17:46,868 --> 00:17:48,700
Yeah. I just baked it.
335
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,366
I'm sorry about
using a dog dish,
336
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,800
but you have no plates.
337
00:17:51,834 --> 00:17:53,366
That's okay.
338
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,966
See?
339
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,434
It says my name
on the side.
340
00:18:03,033 --> 00:18:05,099
What are you sitting
all the way over there for?
341
00:18:05,133 --> 00:18:06,666
Come
over here.
342
00:18:09,601 --> 00:18:11,266
Mmm. Mmm.
343
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,999
Mm.
344
00:18:13,033 --> 00:18:14,934
Al, you gotta help me.
345
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,800
I want my husband back.
346
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:19,501
Isn't there any way
you can talk to him?
347
00:18:20,234 --> 00:18:23,833
Hm, uh, I don't know, Pete.
What about us?
348
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,333
Won't that interfere
with our quality time?
349
00:18:28,367 --> 00:18:30,966
No. No, no, Al.
I'll make time.
350
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,700
I'll make time for you.
351
00:18:32,734 --> 00:18:34,300
We'll go to
a ball game.
352
00:18:34,334 --> 00:18:36,033
I'll make us
a picnic basket...
353
00:18:36,067 --> 00:18:37,934
with crispy
fried chicken.
354
00:18:37,968 --> 00:18:40,366
Huh?
355
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,567
Huh?
356
00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:44,233
I'll even get you
your very own bowl.
357
00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:46,266
My own dog bowl?
358
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:47,934
With just
my name on it?
359
00:18:47,968 --> 00:18:49,667
It sounds too good
to be true, but--
360
00:18:49,701 --> 00:18:51,533
You're not just saying that,
are you, Pete?
361
00:18:51,567 --> 00:18:53,999
I'm not
a food tease, Al.
362
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:55,366
I'll fry for you,
363
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,800
if you can
get my man back.
364
00:18:58,467 --> 00:19:00,099
I'll do it.
365
00:19:00,133 --> 00:19:01,967
To you, Al.
366
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,334
To us.
367
00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:08,433
A shoe salesman?
368
00:19:08,467 --> 00:19:11,733
Come on. Nobody's
a shoe salesman.
369
00:19:12,834 --> 00:19:15,433
Well, he thought he'd
start at the bottom
370
00:19:15,467 --> 00:19:17,000
and stay there.
371
00:19:17,501 --> 00:19:19,600
Ah.
372
00:19:23,234 --> 00:19:24,900
Oh, my God,
it's Al.
373
00:19:24,934 --> 00:19:26,800
I'm out of here.
No, you're not.
374
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:28,066
Hold me tight.
375
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,133
Maybe he'll get jealous
376
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:30,700
and finally show me
some attention.
377
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:31,867
No. He's awfully big.
378
00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:33,166
Yes, and he's tough too.
379
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,666
But don't worry,
I won't let him hurt you.
380
00:19:36,934 --> 00:19:38,366
How dare you.
381
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,533
Oh, Al.
382
00:19:40,567 --> 00:19:41,999
I'm so glad
you're here.
383
00:19:42,033 --> 00:19:44,200
The things
he wanted me to do.
384
00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:46,501
Kick a hole
in him, honey.
385
00:19:48,467 --> 00:19:49,633
Is your name Andy?
386
00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:50,633
Yes, sir.
387
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:52,200
Get over there!
388
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:53,767
Ooh, Marcie.
389
00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:56,700
Al's gonna kick the hell
out of Andy.
390
00:19:57,501 --> 00:19:59,200
He does care.
391
00:19:59,234 --> 00:20:02,134
Look, I don't care what
you're doing with my wife.
392
00:20:03,801 --> 00:20:05,233
But you got
a good man at home
393
00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:08,100
that any man would be
proud to call his wife.
394
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:11,633
He cooks, he cleans,
he works.
395
00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:12,934
You've obviously
gotten over
396
00:20:12,968 --> 00:20:15,367
that little
"he's a man" thing.
397
00:20:16,534 --> 00:20:18,533
So, what else do you want
from the poor guy?
398
00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:19,600
Oh, Marcie.
399
00:20:19,634 --> 00:20:22,233
Al's so cute
when he's jealous.
400
00:20:22,267 --> 00:20:24,400
Now, I'm the one that
ought to be going out at night.
401
00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:26,433
I'm married to that
over there.
402
00:20:26,467 --> 00:20:28,999
But you... You ought to be
home with a man
403
00:20:29,033 --> 00:20:32,100
who can bake a potato
like nobody's business.
404
00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:35,334
You had Pete's potato?
405
00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:40,266
I did.
406
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:42,066
And I would have had
his peach cobbler too,
407
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:44,566
if the damn dog didn't come
get his bowl back.
408
00:20:45,701 --> 00:20:46,867
Now you go home
and tell
409
00:20:46,901 --> 00:20:48,666
your wife that
you love him.
410
00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:50,667
You're right, Al.
411
00:20:50,701 --> 00:20:52,233
And if you don't mind
my saying so,
412
00:20:52,267 --> 00:20:53,999
you should go tell
your wife you love her.
413
00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:56,467
Mind your own business.
Sorry.
414
00:20:57,868 --> 00:20:59,099
Well...
415
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:00,966
guess I've got a wife
to go talk to.
416
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,733
Oh, yeah.
Me too.
417
00:21:13,467 --> 00:21:16,834
Well...Mr. I-Don't-Care-
What-You-Do.
418
00:21:16,868 --> 00:21:18,467
Paint you green.
419
00:21:18,501 --> 00:21:19,800
You were jealous.
420
00:21:19,834 --> 00:21:21,834
Uh, I was not jealous.
421
00:21:21,868 --> 00:21:23,066
Was too.
422
00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:24,333
Admit you care.
423
00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:25,800
Oh...
424
00:21:25,834 --> 00:21:27,567
Would that make you happy?
425
00:21:27,601 --> 00:21:29,333
Yes.
426
00:21:29,367 --> 00:21:32,633
Uh. I care.
427
00:21:33,434 --> 00:21:34,700
I'm not convinced.
428
00:21:34,734 --> 00:21:37,367
That's because
I don't care.
429
00:21:37,834 --> 00:21:38,867
Come and dance
with me.
430
00:21:38,901 --> 00:21:40,400
Oh, I care,
I care.
431
00:21:40,434 --> 00:21:43,234
Too late. Too late.
432
00:21:47,634 --> 00:21:50,200
Gee, Andy was real
good-looking, huh?
433
00:21:50,234 --> 00:21:54,099
I'm trying to
count here, Peg.
434
00:21:54,133 --> 00:21:56,333
You know, this ought to be
a lesson to you, Al.
435
00:21:56,367 --> 00:21:59,033
If you don't want me,
there's plenty of guys that do.
436
00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:00,767
Right, Peg.
437
00:22:01,434 --> 00:22:03,767
You should have seen
the way he looked at me.
438
00:22:03,801 --> 00:22:06,333
He wanted me bad.
439
00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:08,700
Mm. Everybody wants
you bad, Peg.
440
00:22:08,734 --> 00:22:10,934
Every one of us.
441
00:22:10,968 --> 00:22:13,934
Oh, admit you're lucky
to have me as your wife.
442
00:22:13,968 --> 00:22:15,633
I could've had anyone.
443
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:18,867
I could've had Andy at
the snap of a finger. Heh-heh.
444
00:22:18,901 --> 00:22:22,033
He was sexy.
He was hot.
445
00:22:22,067 --> 00:22:23,567
He was...
446
00:22:23,601 --> 00:22:26,434
He was a homo,
Peg.
29947
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