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A VAMPIRE IN THE FAMILY
4
00:00:24,166 --> 00:00:27,458
Are we on? We're on! Hello there, friends!
5
00:00:27,541 --> 00:00:31,041
Welcome, everyone,
to the most-watched podcast in Brazil.
6
00:00:31,125 --> 00:00:36,625
I am Fernandinho Tramontina, and this is
The Ball is Yours, Fernandinho!
7
00:00:38,083 --> 00:00:41,458
THE BALL IS YOURS, FERNANDINHO!
8
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,375
Hey, Ameba!
9
00:00:43,458 --> 00:00:46,541
-The garage door is opening.
-Sorry, Fernandinho.
10
00:00:46,625 --> 00:00:49,000
-What the heck, Ameba?
-Pay attention!
11
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,291
Moving on.
12
00:00:50,375 --> 00:00:53,166
You can submit your questions.
Do we have any?
13
00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:54,833
We have one already.
14
00:00:54,916 --> 00:00:56,666
-A question from Batista.
-Hey.
15
00:00:56,750 --> 00:01:02,541
"Claudionor, have you ever missed a goal
or thrown a match,
16
00:01:02,625 --> 00:01:04,916
like Fernandinho?
17
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000
I wanna be clear.
18
00:01:06,083 --> 00:01:10,083
I have never thrown a match
in my entire life.
19
00:01:10,166 --> 00:01:14,041
A mosquito flew up my nose
just as I was taking the shot.
20
00:01:14,125 --> 00:01:18,333
Yes, it was the finals, and we lost.
That did happen.
21
00:01:18,416 --> 00:01:21,000
Ameba, play the tape. I'll show them.
22
00:01:21,083 --> 00:01:22,708
-Again?
-It's my show.
23
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,458
When you have your own show,
you can do what you want.
24
00:01:25,541 --> 00:01:28,791
Ameba, please.
This is the moment I receive the ball.
25
00:01:28,875 --> 00:01:30,708
-That's skill.
-Good one.
26
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:31,708
Ball control.
27
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:33,083
I was amazingly fast.
28
00:01:33,166 --> 00:01:35,583
I was running, controlling the ball.
29
00:01:35,666 --> 00:01:37,208
I dribbled the goalkeeper here.
30
00:01:37,291 --> 00:01:39,708
Just me and the goal. I'm gonna shoot.
31
00:01:39,791 --> 00:01:41,625
He shoots and…
32
00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:44,291
Play it in slow motion
so we can see it better.
33
00:01:44,375 --> 00:01:47,125
The exact moment
a mosquito flew into my nose.
34
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,083
-Off to the side.
-I can't see it.
35
00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:55,041
This is living proof that I have never
betrayed my dear Vasco. Never!
36
00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:56,916
Come on, Fernandinho.
37
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,625
You played for Flamengo
the following year.
38
00:01:59,708 --> 00:02:01,625
Ameba, next question, please.
39
00:02:01,708 --> 00:02:05,583
-Fernandinho, see you next show.
-While we're here, call me Mr. Fernando.
40
00:02:05,666 --> 00:02:08,125
My bad, Fernandinho… Mr. Fernando.
41
00:02:09,916 --> 00:02:11,500
Honey, where's Neymar?
42
00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:14,333
Can you believe
Chicão didn't even invite him?
43
00:02:14,416 --> 00:02:17,458
You promised our daughter
Neymar would come!
44
00:02:17,541 --> 00:02:18,375
I know.
45
00:02:18,458 --> 00:02:21,875
-Everyone's waiting, honey.
-I know. I'm so sorry.
46
00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:24,583
She's already upset
over the green banana truffle
47
00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:27,958
-She won't even remember.
-She's been talking about it all week.
48
00:02:28,041 --> 00:02:30,416
-Children forget.
-Neymar is not coming?
49
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:32,875
I wanted to do a TikTok video with him!
50
00:02:32,958 --> 00:02:36,791
You can do it with Daddy.
Daddy was a famous soccer player.
51
00:02:36,875 --> 00:02:39,791
Dad, you're not famous anymore.
You're no good.
52
00:02:40,375 --> 00:02:42,916
A daughter's love
is such a beautiful thing.
53
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,291
-Go find the other one. I got this one.
-Okay.
54
00:02:45,375 --> 00:02:47,375
Let me just brush my teeth.
55
00:02:49,458 --> 00:02:50,500
Hi, sweetheart.
56
00:02:51,333 --> 00:02:52,458
Everything okay?
57
00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:54,000
Yeah?
58
00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:56,000
It's almost dark out.
59
00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:58,666
They're waiting for you downstairs.
60
00:02:59,625 --> 00:03:01,500
You're not listening, are you?
61
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,708
That's your answer to whatever I say?
62
00:03:06,791 --> 00:03:09,333
Carol, come on. I'm talking to you.
63
00:03:09,416 --> 00:03:11,166
Come downstairs for a minute.
64
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:14,583
Jesus, I don't want to.
I don't like birthday parties.
65
00:03:14,666 --> 00:03:17,416
-Especially not with chayote truffles.
-Gross.
66
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,166
Thanks for the warning.
67
00:03:20,458 --> 00:03:25,708
Listen, when are you taking down
this devil poster from your wall?
68
00:03:25,791 --> 00:03:27,625
I told you, that's not the devil.
69
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,916
I miss the one with Dora the Explorer.
70
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,250
-The one I gave you.
-That was ten years ago.
71
00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:36,416
Anything is better than this horned beast.
It has a dark vibe.
72
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:39,250
-You can feel it right away.
-Dad…
73
00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:42,833
That's Ravengoroki, from Hayu Mokusha.
He's a good guy.
74
00:03:42,916 --> 00:03:45,875
Honey, come on.
Come downstairs for five minutes.
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00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:48,083
Fine. I'll think about it.
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00:03:48,166 --> 00:03:49,750
"Fine…"
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00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:51,333
I'll be downstairs.
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00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:56,375
It's so negative that this side is warm.
It feels like I'm running a fever.
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00:03:56,458 --> 00:03:57,416
I'll be waiting.
80
00:04:05,208 --> 00:04:07,958
Kids, don't play with that!
81
00:04:08,041 --> 00:04:10,958
I worked hard to get that.
It's not a drum!
82
00:04:11,041 --> 00:04:12,958
Leave my things alone.
83
00:04:13,041 --> 00:04:14,791
-Those are my things.
-Honey!
84
00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:16,875
-Yes, honey.
-Is Carol coming down?
85
00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:18,291
I asked her to.
86
00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:21,125
At some point,
I lost the connection with my daughter.
87
00:04:21,208 --> 00:04:23,166
I don't know what I did wrong.
88
00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:25,041
Come, we're singing "Happy Birthday."
89
00:04:25,125 --> 00:04:27,791
-Someone's at the door.
-Answer it. I'm cutting the cake.
90
00:04:27,875 --> 00:04:30,875
It's really rude to arrive at this hour
for a child's party
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00:04:30,958 --> 00:04:33,208
It's dark out.
People do anything for free food.
92
00:04:33,291 --> 00:04:34,625
It's outrageous.
93
00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:38,416
Heavy energy.
94
00:04:39,541 --> 00:04:40,666
Yikes!
95
00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:44,166
So weird.
96
00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:50,083
Good evening.
97
00:04:50,166 --> 00:04:52,291
Don't you recognize me?
98
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,916
Honestly…
99
00:04:54,875 --> 00:04:56,666
Honestly, no. Sorry.
100
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,125
It's me, brother-in-law!
101
00:05:00,958 --> 00:05:02,625
-Gregório!
-It's me, man!
102
00:05:02,708 --> 00:05:04,791
-Been so long!
-We're kissing now?
103
00:05:05,833 --> 00:05:07,833
Everything's good, yeah.
104
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,000
Won't you invite me in?
105
00:05:10,083 --> 00:05:12,583
What? Sure.
106
00:05:12,666 --> 00:05:13,750
Come in, Gregório.
107
00:05:15,791 --> 00:05:17,250
Great.
108
00:05:19,583 --> 00:05:21,375
The kiss was unnecessary.
109
00:05:21,458 --> 00:05:23,166
Let's sing "Happy Birthday."
110
00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:24,916
-In a second.
-Okay, come on.
111
00:05:27,458 --> 00:05:29,166
Gregório?
112
00:05:29,875 --> 00:05:31,416
My brother!
113
00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:34,708
God, I can't believe you're here!
114
00:05:34,791 --> 00:05:36,791
-Me neither.
-Wow!
115
00:05:36,875 --> 00:05:38,416
The cake can wait.
116
00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:39,750
Listen up, everyone.
117
00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:42,750
The cake will have to wait.
A special guest has arrived.
118
00:05:42,833 --> 00:05:46,791
Let me introduce you
to my little brother Gregório.
119
00:05:46,875 --> 00:05:48,458
But he is taller than me.
120
00:05:48,541 --> 00:05:51,000
This is my brother-in-law, Gregório.
121
00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:54,333
He disappeared for five years.
We never heard from him.
122
00:05:54,416 --> 00:05:56,416
I'm sure he's got many stories to tell.
123
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:58,625
And we want to hear them all.
124
00:05:58,708 --> 00:06:00,958
-Tell me everything.
-Uncle Greg?
125
00:06:01,041 --> 00:06:03,375
-Hi, Uncle!
-Little Carol!
126
00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:06,041
-I've missed you!
-Who's not so little anymore?
127
00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:08,000
-You're all grown up.
-Still little.
128
00:06:08,083 --> 00:06:10,208
Congratulations, man. She's so pretty!
129
00:06:10,291 --> 00:06:11,833
-Thank you.
-That hurt.
130
00:06:11,916 --> 00:06:13,791
Fernandinho, do something.
131
00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:16,208
-Offer him something to drink.
-My backpack.
132
00:06:16,291 --> 00:06:17,625
Yes, get his backpack.
133
00:06:17,708 --> 00:06:20,000
Greg is our guest. Right?
134
00:06:20,083 --> 00:06:22,250
-Tell me everything.
-I'll get it.
135
00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:25,125
-Where have you been?
-Quite the welcome wagon. A party.
136
00:06:25,208 --> 00:06:27,750
-I'll tell you everything.
-You look so handsome!
137
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:30,000
-Dear God!
-What is it?
138
00:06:30,083 --> 00:06:33,708
Are you carrying a body in there?
It's so heavy! Hang on.
139
00:06:33,791 --> 00:06:35,000
Hang on.
140
00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:36,666
-Fernandinho, please.
-Fernandinho…
141
00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:38,583
-Don't be a crybaby.
-Jesus.
142
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:41,166
I think a hernia popped out.
Something popped out!
143
00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:43,500
It's not about strength.
144
00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:45,000
Holy shit.
145
00:06:45,083 --> 00:06:46,333
I gotta calm down.
146
00:06:46,416 --> 00:06:47,583
-Ibiza is amazing.
-Yeah.
147
00:06:47,666 --> 00:06:49,708
I deejayed at many clubs.
148
00:06:49,791 --> 00:06:51,833
Amazing job. Lots of prospects.
149
00:06:51,916 --> 00:06:53,541
It's cool, and the money's great.
150
00:06:53,625 --> 00:06:55,416
Guess who I met there.
151
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:57,458
David Guetta. He's cool.
152
00:06:57,541 --> 00:06:59,875
No way! I love him.
Did you take a picture with him?
153
00:06:59,958 --> 00:07:03,625
No, no pictures. I actually hate it
when people take pictures of me.
154
00:07:03,708 --> 00:07:04,708
Why?
155
00:07:05,375 --> 00:07:08,458
Are the police after you?
Are you a wanted criminal?
156
00:07:08,541 --> 00:07:09,916
-Fernandinho.
-What?
157
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,666
You don't even take selfies?
158
00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:13,583
-No.
-Like this?
159
00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:16,791
No, not even selfies.
My phone's ancient. No camera.
160
00:07:16,875 --> 00:07:19,250
It's as though you're a drug lord.
161
00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:20,333
Fernandinho!
162
00:07:20,416 --> 00:07:22,458
-Yes?
-Stop it. That's enough.
163
00:07:22,541 --> 00:07:25,250
I'm just joking. I'm kidding, bro-in-law!
164
00:07:25,333 --> 00:07:27,208
That's enough, Fernandinho.
165
00:07:27,291 --> 00:07:30,500
No, honestly.
He's been gone for five years.
166
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:33,333
Out of the blue,
gone like a fart in a windstorm.
167
00:07:33,416 --> 00:07:35,208
We never heard from him.
168
00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:38,875
He hates pictures and social media,
and has a prehistoric cell phone.
169
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,125
It almost has a dial.
170
00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:42,166
You know?
171
00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:44,958
-Who else thinks it's weird?
-Fernandinho.
172
00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:46,750
We're having a pleasant conversation.
173
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,833
You're making this awkward.
Everyone was listening.
174
00:07:49,916 --> 00:07:52,041
Not at all, sis. He is right.
175
00:07:52,125 --> 00:07:53,916
-He is right.
-Thank you.
176
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,000
I apologize.
177
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:58,333
I was gone for a long time
and never called.
178
00:07:58,416 --> 00:08:01,041
But that's what I wanted.
I wanted to explore the world.
179
00:08:01,125 --> 00:08:03,833
I wanted to roam free,
with no one to answer to.
180
00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:05,083
I wanted that experience.
181
00:08:05,166 --> 00:08:07,125
I dream of doing that.
182
00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:08,833
I dream of doing that too.
183
00:08:08,916 --> 00:08:10,458
Since when?
184
00:08:10,541 --> 00:08:13,375
Honey, let me dream. Can I?
185
00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:15,041
What was your favorite country?
186
00:08:15,125 --> 00:08:16,750
Romania, for sure.
187
00:08:16,833 --> 00:08:19,500
-That's weird.
-Romania. I'd like to visit there one day.
188
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:20,875
Can we go to Romania, Dad?
189
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,458
Let's stick with Beto Carrero.
190
00:08:22,541 --> 00:08:24,916
It's not that far away,
and they got those rides…
191
00:08:26,791 --> 00:08:28,041
The roller coaster…
192
00:08:28,666 --> 00:08:29,875
Who goes to Romania?
193
00:08:29,958 --> 00:08:33,458
Are there even package deals to Romania?
"Visit Romania!"
194
00:08:33,541 --> 00:08:36,500
Have you ever seen
a "I love Romania" T-shirt? I haven't.
195
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:40,833
It's got the most beautiful landscapes
I've ever seen.
196
00:08:40,916 --> 00:08:42,375
The best bars, too.
197
00:08:42,458 --> 00:08:44,375
And let me tell you something else.
198
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:48,166
Romanian women
are almost as pretty as Brazilian women.
199
00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:51,666
He's such a charmer.
200
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:54,708
He's always been like that.
I've known him forever.
201
00:08:54,791 --> 00:08:56,541
He's always been a flirt.
202
00:08:56,625 --> 00:08:59,541
I've always been a flirt too.
203
00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:01,833
-I used to--
-No.
204
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,833
Not you. You were a scoundrel.
205
00:09:03,916 --> 00:09:08,041
Why is your brother a flirt
and I'm a scoundrel? I don't get it.
206
00:09:08,125 --> 00:09:10,375
-Are you hungry?
-Is that chayote?
207
00:09:10,458 --> 00:09:12,791
-No, it's cheese.
-Then I'll have some.
208
00:09:13,375 --> 00:09:15,083
-Is it goat cheese?
-Tofu.
209
00:09:15,166 --> 00:09:17,250
What did we agree on?
210
00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:20,333
-What do I…
-Not in the pool!
211
00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:21,833
It's so disgusting.
212
00:09:21,916 --> 00:09:24,208
-Tofu?
-Yes, it's delicious.
213
00:09:24,291 --> 00:09:25,833
-It sucks.
-No, I love it.
214
00:09:25,916 --> 00:09:26,958
-It's good.
-Yeah.
215
00:09:27,041 --> 00:09:30,166
Have I mentioned
the trip made me change my diet?
216
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:31,708
-No.
-I'm vegan now.
217
00:09:31,791 --> 00:09:32,791
Vegan?
218
00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:37,500
Yes. I've realized that animals have
as much right to life as we do, right?
219
00:09:37,583 --> 00:09:39,208
Wow.
220
00:09:39,291 --> 00:09:41,208
-Guys…
-My brother's just so…
221
00:09:41,291 --> 00:09:43,458
Please! Suck my--
222
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,916
I'll order a burger. Who's in?
223
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,958
-I want a burger.
-Stop that.
224
00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:50,458
That's amazing! You're vegan!
225
00:09:50,541 --> 00:09:54,875
Honey, I'm just curious.
How long is your brother staying?
226
00:09:54,958 --> 00:09:57,208
Honey, stop picking on him.
227
00:09:57,291 --> 00:09:59,666
Come on. Why would I do that?
228
00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:03,625
Because Greg is kind, manly,
adventurous, and handsome.
229
00:10:03,708 --> 00:10:08,583
But has he ever scored three goals
in a final match at a packed stadium?
230
00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:11,166
-No, he hasn't.
-He hasn't.
231
00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:12,916
-You are amazing too.
-Am I?
232
00:10:15,291 --> 00:10:18,375
But don't worry.
Greg is only staying for a few days.
233
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:21,708
Just until he finds a house,
an apartment or a studio.
234
00:10:21,791 --> 00:10:24,750
-We're not doing it.
-I was just adjusting it.
235
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:28,458
Honey, you won't even notice he's here.
236
00:10:29,958 --> 00:10:30,958
You think so?
237
00:11:03,166 --> 00:11:04,000
Hey!
238
00:11:04,083 --> 00:11:06,666
Brother-in-law,
I can't let you use the car tonight.
239
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,208
How come? It’s my car!
240
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:15,541
Thanks!
241
00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:18,916
Vanessa, can you request a ride for me?
242
00:11:32,208 --> 00:11:34,000
Isn't that a bit too tight?
243
00:11:37,541 --> 00:11:38,708
Come on, Dad!
244
00:11:40,375 --> 00:11:42,375
I'm so good at this, right?
245
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:52,375
-Family pile!
-Family pile!
246
00:11:52,458 --> 00:11:55,291
Come on, everybody!
247
00:12:10,208 --> 00:12:11,625
Who are you looking for?
248
00:12:11,708 --> 00:12:14,125
You scared the crap out of me!
249
00:12:14,208 --> 00:12:15,083
Jesus.
250
00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:16,541
Who is it?
251
00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:18,208
Come on, Michele.
252
00:12:18,291 --> 00:12:20,125
It's me. You can see me.
253
00:12:20,208 --> 00:12:21,875
Yes, I can see you.
254
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:25,250
What I haven't seen yet
is an increase in child support.
255
00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:28,041
What increase, Michele? For God's sake.
256
00:12:28,125 --> 00:12:29,333
Tell Carol I'm here.
257
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,000
Listen, you'll be getting a summons soon.
258
00:12:32,083 --> 00:12:34,833
Shame on you.
Falling behind on child support.
259
00:12:35,541 --> 00:12:37,583
Aren't you the chatty Cathy?
260
00:12:37,666 --> 00:12:41,458
First of all, I didn't fall behind.
She tries that move every year.
261
00:12:41,541 --> 00:12:43,583
And with all due respect,
#RespectSweepers,
262
00:12:43,666 --> 00:12:46,208
#ForACleanCity, #WorkDignifies,
263
00:12:46,291 --> 00:12:47,958
it's none of your business.
264
00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:51,500
Fernandinho, be honest.
You're dying to get back with me.
265
00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:55,000
What I want back
is the ball with Pele's autograph.
266
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:57,708
-It just so happens…
-It's not yours.
267
00:12:57,791 --> 00:12:59,500
Is this what you want?
268
00:12:59,583 --> 00:13:01,125
That's the one. My ball…
269
00:13:01,208 --> 00:13:03,166
Raise the alimony and you can have it.
270
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:04,958
I've already raised it five times!
271
00:13:05,041 --> 00:13:06,583
Raise it some more.
272
00:13:06,666 --> 00:13:09,791
Shameful. That's no way to treat a mother.
273
00:13:09,875 --> 00:13:12,166
Lady, why don't you go sweep your…
274
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,916
That other side.
275
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,958
-Honey! That's Daddy's little girl.
-Let's go, Dad.
276
00:13:17,916 --> 00:13:19,625
She's so affectionate.
277
00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:27,958
A new disease
is leaving doctors in Rio puzzled.
278
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,791
Several people, mostly women,
279
00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:35,166
seem to be lethargic and anemic,
with low blood volume.
280
00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:36,875
Luci is one of them.
281
00:13:36,958 --> 00:13:39,166
She started behaving strangely.
282
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:42,958
We talked to her relatives,
who wish to remain anonymous.
283
00:13:43,041 --> 00:13:44,750
Everyone's worried, you know?
284
00:13:44,833 --> 00:13:47,708
-Luci was a--
-Change the channel.
285
00:13:48,625 --> 00:13:49,916
Hi, honey.
286
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,750
-Hey, honey.
-You look great.
287
00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:54,458
-Thank you.
-What's for dinner?
288
00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:56,083
Frozen vegan food.
289
00:13:58,875 --> 00:14:01,458
-What?
-Nothing. That's all we have?
290
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,750
They're not selling very well,
and the freezer is full.
291
00:14:04,833 --> 00:14:07,541
If we each have two or three,
they'll be gone soon.
292
00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:08,708
Right.
293
00:14:08,791 --> 00:14:12,250
You know what? This just crossed my mind.
294
00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:14,833
The name "Go For It" kinda sucks.
295
00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:16,916
I don't think so. It was Greg's idea.
296
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,875
-I love it.
-Oh, it was Greg's idea.
297
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,541
And where is your brother?
298
00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:21,708
He's asleep.
299
00:14:21,791 --> 00:14:23,791
Vanessa, just being honest here.
300
00:14:23,875 --> 00:14:26,166
Your brother only eats and sleeps.
301
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,500
He sleeps all day.
He barely sees sunlight.
302
00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:32,125
I think he's allergic to the sun.
And he doesn't help around the house.
303
00:14:32,208 --> 00:14:35,333
Fernandinho, forget Greg.
You're the one who doesn't help out.
304
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,333
Actually, you'll do the dishes.
305
00:14:37,416 --> 00:14:39,625
-Okay? Bye.
-I don't wanna fight.
306
00:14:39,708 --> 00:14:42,625
-I miss your touch.
-Me too.
307
00:14:42,708 --> 00:14:43,625
Get over here.
308
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:45,666
What are you doing, Fernandinho?
309
00:14:45,750 --> 00:14:47,875
I was doing it just like in the movies.
310
00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:51,875
No! This is not a movie.
You let my food fall on the floor.
311
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,083
-Pick it up.
-But I--
312
00:14:53,166 --> 00:14:55,041
And you do the dishes tonight.
313
00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,250
-It's cool when they--
-No, it's not.
314
00:14:57,333 --> 00:14:59,041
-Not cool at all.
-Okay.
315
00:14:59,583 --> 00:15:01,208
Ah, you're up!
316
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:03,625
Wow, you look great!
317
00:15:03,708 --> 00:15:04,708
Thanks.
318
00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:08,041
-Doesn't he look good?
-He looks great, right?
319
00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:10,375
Is Uncle Greg looking good?
320
00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:12,333
I'm glad. Those are my clothes.
321
00:15:12,916 --> 00:15:14,500
-They're yours?
-Yes.
322
00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:15,791
Do they fit?
323
00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:18,125
-Hey!
-No.
324
00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:20,041
They don't really fit.
325
00:15:20,125 --> 00:15:21,916
-Yes, they do.
-I'm sorry.
326
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,541
-I'll return them washed and ironed.
-No!
327
00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:27,166
There's no need.
They don't fit you anymore.
328
00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:29,291
Yes, I want them all back.
329
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:32,916
-Dad, that's so lame.
-Yeah, Dad. For God's sake.
330
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,125
"For God's sake," my ass.
Is that my underwear too?
331
00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:38,333
-Fernandinho, relax.
-I can't relax.
332
00:15:38,416 --> 00:15:40,291
Don't worry, everything's cool.
333
00:15:40,375 --> 00:15:42,541
Actually, I had an idea.
334
00:15:42,625 --> 00:15:44,083
-A great idea.
-What?
335
00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:46,250
-I wanted to do something.
-What?
336
00:15:46,333 --> 00:15:47,833
What do you wanna do?
337
00:15:47,916 --> 00:15:49,583
Family pile?
338
00:15:49,666 --> 00:15:52,041
-I'm not a fan.
-Family pile.
339
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:54,041
-Yes, you are.
-Someone will get hurt.
340
00:15:54,625 --> 00:15:57,208
Family pile!
341
00:15:57,291 --> 00:15:59,166
Family pile!
342
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,541
-Don't tickle me!
-Family pile!
343
00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:03,083
Tickles!
344
00:16:03,166 --> 00:16:04,791
Ouch, that hurts!
345
00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:08,833
-Oh, honey!
-I said it was a bad idea! It hurt!
346
00:16:08,916 --> 00:16:12,875
Don't overreact, Fernandinho.
It's just a family thing.
347
00:16:12,958 --> 00:16:14,166
I'm bleeding.
348
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,708
What the hell? Are you sick?
349
00:16:20,208 --> 00:16:23,666
Guys, it's all very well, but I gotta go.
350
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,083
The night is calling.
351
00:16:25,166 --> 00:16:27,458
-Sure.
-Guess you have money to party.
352
00:16:27,958 --> 00:16:29,666
Yes, my sister gave me some.
353
00:16:30,208 --> 00:16:32,583
Are you giving money to your brother?
354
00:16:33,708 --> 00:16:34,708
The food's ready.
355
00:16:34,791 --> 00:16:36,791
No, explain this situation to me.
356
00:16:36,875 --> 00:16:39,833
My money is going to your brother,
is that it?
357
00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:54,375
Jesus.
358
00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:58,500
I can tell personal hygiene
is not his forte.
359
00:17:16,458 --> 00:17:18,875
Is that the girl they showed on the news?
360
00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:33,708
Fernandinho!
361
00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:35,541
-Hey now.
-Wrong room?
362
00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:38,458
No, not at all.
363
00:17:38,541 --> 00:17:40,708
I smelled something really bad.
364
00:17:40,791 --> 00:17:44,875
Can you smell that?
Like a wet skunk or a dead seal.
365
00:17:44,958 --> 00:17:46,791
Take a good whiff.
366
00:17:46,875 --> 00:17:49,375
-Can't you smell that?
-I don't smell anything.
367
00:17:49,458 --> 00:17:51,041
You should have that checked.
368
00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:53,833
It smells so bad
the hairs in my nose fell out.
369
00:17:53,916 --> 00:17:55,916
Did you take a good look around?
370
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,916
Don't you think
there's something wrong with this room?
371
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,833
Now that you mention it, I do.
372
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,166
You, going through his things.
373
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:09,041
Fernandinho, you need to understand
my brother has a dark side.
374
00:18:09,125 --> 00:18:11,916
-You don't say.
-He's always been a night person.
375
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:14,875
Don't judge.
You should have more sympathy.
376
00:18:14,958 --> 00:18:16,833
-I am not judging.
-Honey?
377
00:18:16,916 --> 00:18:17,875
Get out!
378
00:18:17,958 --> 00:18:20,750
Look what he's done. Let me show you.
379
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:23,916
He painted the windows black
and boarded them up.
380
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:24,833
Get out!
381
00:18:25,708 --> 00:18:28,041
-Out!
-So you can't smell it? Okay.
382
00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:31,125
But it's so weird you can't smell that…
383
00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:51,375
-Fernandinho, what's going on?
-Dad!
384
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,458
-Honey?
-Dad, what was that noise?
385
00:19:53,541 --> 00:19:55,125
Oh boy.
386
00:19:55,208 --> 00:19:57,958
There's a bat-- Ow, my sciatica!
387
00:19:58,041 --> 00:20:01,208
A bat got into the house.
I'm trying to catch it.
388
00:20:01,291 --> 00:20:03,416
-What? A bat in the house?
-Yeah.
389
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:06,583
-That's all?
-What? Yes, that was all.
390
00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:09,791
-I'll try to catch it.
-Be careful. Don't kill it.
391
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,166
I almost died here.
392
00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:15,208
It helps nature.
It's a living being that causes no harm.
393
00:20:15,291 --> 00:20:17,125
Mom, can I stay to see the bat?
394
00:20:17,208 --> 00:20:20,708
No, honey. It helps nature,
but it does bite.
395
00:20:20,791 --> 00:20:23,333
I'm about to bite someone.
396
00:20:23,416 --> 00:20:25,416
Ouch. Jesus.
397
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:28,458
Where are you, you nasty beast?
398
00:20:39,833 --> 00:20:40,916
Oh my God!
399
00:20:41,875 --> 00:20:44,625
You wanna play with me? What the hell!
400
00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:48,041
I'll get you now!
401
00:21:05,166 --> 00:21:06,166
Man…
402
00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:09,208
Damn.
403
00:21:17,750 --> 00:21:18,625
What the fuck!
404
00:21:18,708 --> 00:21:21,291
Jesus Christ! What the hell!
405
00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:22,458
You scared me!
406
00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:24,375
You just got home?
407
00:21:24,458 --> 00:21:26,250
Yeah, I had a tough night.
408
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,166
What's that on your head?
409
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,750
-What, this?
-Yeah, on your head.
410
00:21:33,833 --> 00:21:37,750
It's nothing.
I hit my head on the garage door.
411
00:21:37,833 --> 00:21:38,916
Right.
412
00:21:39,708 --> 00:21:41,416
Want some garlic bread?
413
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:42,458
Jeez.
414
00:21:42,541 --> 00:21:44,333
Fine, don't eat it.
415
00:21:44,416 --> 00:21:47,500
I was just being nice.
You're the one missing out.
416
00:21:47,583 --> 00:21:49,083
It's great. Garlic bread.
417
00:21:49,166 --> 00:21:50,750
It's delicious. Look.
418
00:21:51,291 --> 00:21:52,958
Nothing else to eat.
419
00:21:59,791 --> 00:22:04,333
Fernandinho, I wanted to thank you
for your hospitality.
420
00:22:04,416 --> 00:22:07,041
I didn't know I'd stay for so long.
421
00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:08,375
These things happen.
422
00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:10,708
You come for two days,
but stay for two months.
423
00:22:10,791 --> 00:22:11,833
Perfectly normal.
424
00:22:11,916 --> 00:22:14,625
I also wanted to say
that I really like you.
425
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:17,583
-You're my favorite brother-in-law.
-I'm the only one.
426
00:22:18,375 --> 00:22:19,250
That's right.
427
00:22:20,083 --> 00:22:21,916
It's like the old saying goes.
428
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,083
You either love or you hate your…
429
00:22:27,458 --> 00:22:30,416
What were you saying? Say it again.
430
00:22:35,791 --> 00:22:38,583
No, nothing. I forgot.
431
00:22:38,666 --> 00:22:40,416
Sorry, I forgot.
432
00:22:43,333 --> 00:22:45,250
My brother-in-law is a vampire.
433
00:22:45,333 --> 00:22:47,833
Fernandinho, tell me.
434
00:22:47,916 --> 00:22:49,625
Are you on drugs again?
435
00:22:49,708 --> 00:22:52,750
What are you saying?
I never did drugs in my life.
436
00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:56,791
You were caught doping
in the game against Botafogo in 2003.
437
00:22:56,875 --> 00:23:00,125
No, I took cough syrup.
It was just cough syrup.
438
00:23:00,208 --> 00:23:01,500
Fernandinho, I understand.
439
00:23:01,583 --> 00:23:05,291
I'm going through a similar problem
with my neighbor, Roberval.
440
00:23:05,375 --> 00:23:07,416
Is he a weed-smoking vampire?
441
00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:09,708
None of that. He's a ghost.
442
00:23:11,083 --> 00:23:12,875
Actually, he's here right now.
443
00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:14,375
Say hello. Don't be shy.
444
00:23:14,458 --> 00:23:18,166
Hey, Roberval! Nice to meet you!
445
00:23:18,250 --> 00:23:19,958
-Make fun of me.
-Say hi.
446
00:23:20,041 --> 00:23:22,125
-We're having a beer.
-Make fun of me.
447
00:23:22,208 --> 00:23:24,166
-Let's go.
-Go ahead.
448
00:23:24,250 --> 00:23:27,666
I wanna see that confidence
when you actually see a ghost.
449
00:23:27,750 --> 00:23:29,875
-Right.
-I believe you.
450
00:23:29,958 --> 00:23:33,333
Don't sneak up on me like that.
We were talking about ghosts!
451
00:23:33,416 --> 00:23:34,666
You shouldn't eavesdrop.
452
00:23:34,750 --> 00:23:36,916
-I'm a vampire expert.
-No, thank you.
453
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,125
They don't attack
their own flesh and blood.
454
00:23:39,208 --> 00:23:40,083
That's great.
455
00:23:40,166 --> 00:23:42,625
They can't be seen in mirrors
or photographs.
456
00:23:42,708 --> 00:23:44,916
-Everyone knows that.
-There are two kinds.
457
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,958
The scouters prepare for the arrival
of the second kind, the alpha vampires.
458
00:23:49,041 --> 00:23:51,041
They're seductive and deceitful!
459
00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:53,125
Whoever finds out
always looks like an idiot.
460
00:23:53,208 --> 00:23:56,333
No one will believe you.
Only the extremely dumb ones.
461
00:23:56,416 --> 00:23:58,625
-Do you believe me?
-Sure. Why?
462
00:23:59,125 --> 00:23:59,958
Never mind.
463
00:24:00,791 --> 00:24:02,916
Only the worst ones turn into bats.
464
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,041
Wait.
465
00:24:04,833 --> 00:24:08,041
-I never told you that--
-Fernandinho, I can help you.
466
00:24:08,125 --> 00:24:10,375
No touching, please. Thanks.
467
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,958
Ameba, maybe we should get a car.
We will lose him.
468
00:24:31,041 --> 00:24:33,833
No, just track your car using your phone.
469
00:24:33,916 --> 00:24:36,541
Hold tight. This baby is fast.
470
00:24:48,833 --> 00:24:49,875
Insane.
471
00:25:26,750 --> 00:25:28,333
Let's dance. Come on.
472
00:25:43,916 --> 00:25:44,791
Where is he?
473
00:25:48,541 --> 00:25:49,625
So weird.
474
00:26:45,666 --> 00:26:47,041
What is it, you idiot?
475
00:26:47,125 --> 00:26:50,875
Where are you? I lost you.
Only you have the tracking app.
476
00:26:50,958 --> 00:26:52,958
I can't talk now. I'll call you later.
477
00:26:53,041 --> 00:26:54,125
So annoying.
478
00:26:57,291 --> 00:26:59,041
Fernandinho!
479
00:26:59,125 --> 00:27:00,458
Michele, how are you?
480
00:27:00,541 --> 00:27:01,541
-Hey.
-What's up?
481
00:27:01,625 --> 00:27:05,958
You can't pay more child support,
but you can afford a night out.
482
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:07,791
What are you doing here? Go away.
483
00:27:07,875 --> 00:27:10,083
Tell me. Running away from the missus?
484
00:27:10,166 --> 00:27:12,250
It's none of your business.
485
00:27:17,291 --> 00:27:20,541
He's hot! I'm going to dance.
486
00:27:20,625 --> 00:27:22,458
No, don't dance with him!
487
00:27:22,541 --> 00:27:23,791
-He's a con artist.
-What?
488
00:27:23,875 --> 00:27:25,333
I'll tell you later.
489
00:27:25,416 --> 00:27:26,833
-That handsome guy?
-Yes!
490
00:27:26,916 --> 00:27:28,541
-No way.
-He's not that handsome.
491
00:27:28,625 --> 00:27:29,958
-He's had work done.
-Stop!
492
00:27:30,041 --> 00:27:32,458
-Stop, Fernandinho!
-I'll tell you later.
493
00:27:32,541 --> 00:27:34,250
Stop it. Let me go.
494
00:27:34,333 --> 00:27:36,291
I'm sorry, ma'am. Let's go.
495
00:27:36,375 --> 00:27:38,583
Are you insane?
It's too late to be jealous.
496
00:27:38,666 --> 00:27:40,500
I'm protecting my daughter's mother.
497
00:27:40,583 --> 00:27:42,791
-Trust me. Michele, go home.
-Jesus!
498
00:27:42,875 --> 00:27:45,500
I've paid for your ride already.
499
00:27:45,583 --> 00:27:48,500
That's new. You never pay for anything.
500
00:27:48,583 --> 00:27:52,458
Buddy, take her home safely.
I'll give you five stars.
501
00:27:52,541 --> 00:27:55,166
-Go home. Get some rest.
-For God's sake.
502
00:27:58,333 --> 00:28:00,208
-What's up, Fernandinho!
-God!
503
00:28:00,291 --> 00:28:03,083
I told you this baby was fast.
Did you find him?
504
00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:07,125
Ameba, find out how to kick a vampire out.
505
00:28:07,625 --> 00:28:09,875
Actually, it's best if he stays.
506
00:28:09,958 --> 00:28:11,333
What? Are you nuts?
507
00:28:11,416 --> 00:28:14,500
-They don't attack family.
-I'm not related to him.
508
00:28:14,583 --> 00:28:16,083
My daughter isn't either.
509
00:28:16,166 --> 00:28:18,458
You're his host. They respect that.
510
00:28:18,541 --> 00:28:21,458
But if he leaves your home,
you'll be in danger.
511
00:28:21,541 --> 00:28:25,541
I don't want this damn Batman
living under my roof forever.
512
00:28:26,375 --> 00:28:30,000
The only way to kick a vampire out
is if everyone sees that he's a vampire.
513
00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:32,875
-You have to expose him.
-That's not easy.
514
00:28:32,958 --> 00:28:36,666
Vanessa will never believe me.
She's crazy about that brother of hers.
515
00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:38,875
-Is there another way?
-Yes.
516
00:28:38,958 --> 00:28:40,041
Why didn't you say so?
517
00:28:40,125 --> 00:28:43,625
-You went on and on…
-Just stab him with this.
518
00:28:44,208 --> 00:28:45,291
Into his heart.
519
00:28:53,583 --> 00:28:55,708
Look at that, man!
520
00:28:55,791 --> 00:28:57,458
What is that?
521
00:29:02,625 --> 00:29:04,541
How did he get this coffin?
522
00:29:04,625 --> 00:29:08,291
Man, now I understand
why his backpack was so heavy.
523
00:29:08,375 --> 00:29:11,000
He brought a foldable coffin with him.
524
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:12,208
Help me move this.
525
00:29:12,291 --> 00:29:13,833
Careful.
526
00:29:13,916 --> 00:29:16,041
Take it, come on.
527
00:29:16,125 --> 00:29:17,375
So heavy.
528
00:29:19,541 --> 00:29:21,291
He's even handsome in his sleep.
529
00:29:21,375 --> 00:29:23,541
Why the hell did you say that?
530
00:29:23,625 --> 00:29:25,333
-It slipped out.
-Sure.
531
00:29:25,416 --> 00:29:26,958
Focus. Give me that.
532
00:29:27,041 --> 00:29:30,541
-Hurry, the sun's about to set.
-Okay, mind the door.
533
00:29:32,250 --> 00:29:33,750
Oh man.
534
00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:38,666
-I can't.
-Because he's handsome, right?
535
00:29:39,375 --> 00:29:41,000
Are you gonna keep saying that?
536
00:29:41,083 --> 00:29:44,291
-Why not, then?
-Because he's Vanessa's brother.
537
00:29:44,375 --> 00:29:46,833
He's my brother-in-law. He's family.
538
00:29:46,916 --> 00:29:48,291
And he's a human being.
539
00:29:48,375 --> 00:29:50,291
-Hey!
-Wake up, Fernandinho!
540
00:29:50,375 --> 00:29:51,833
Think of someone you hate.
541
00:29:51,916 --> 00:29:54,041
I hate you right now for slapping me.
542
00:29:54,125 --> 00:29:56,916
But I don't hate anyone or anything.
543
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,916
Remember he's been in your house
for over two months.
544
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,333
He used your clothes
and drank all your liquor.
545
00:30:03,125 --> 00:30:06,625
See him like the referee
who ruled that goal out in 1997.
546
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,708
-Now you got me going.
-There.
547
00:30:09,791 --> 00:30:12,333
That's some crazy reverse psychology.
548
00:30:12,416 --> 00:30:15,000
-I'm pumped now. I'm angry.
-Go for it.
549
00:30:15,083 --> 00:30:16,416
-Give it to him.
-One.
550
00:30:17,041 --> 00:30:18,125
Two…
551
00:30:21,041 --> 00:30:22,666
-Oh my God!
-Let him go!
552
00:30:26,291 --> 00:30:27,250
No!
553
00:30:28,250 --> 00:30:29,291
Let go of him!
554
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:35,458
What is it?
555
00:30:36,500 --> 00:30:37,958
Are you okay, honey?
556
00:30:38,916 --> 00:30:41,666
Vanessa, we have to talk.
557
00:30:42,458 --> 00:30:44,833
Honey, I'm here for you.
558
00:30:45,416 --> 00:30:47,208
-Are you insane?
-You need help, Dad.
559
00:30:47,291 --> 00:30:49,750
-Ameba, help me out.
-It's no use.
560
00:30:49,833 --> 00:30:51,791
Ameba, did you see any of that?
561
00:30:51,875 --> 00:30:54,541
No, I didn't.
But I believe him and in vampires.
562
00:30:54,625 --> 00:30:56,666
You believe anything.
563
00:30:56,750 --> 00:30:57,958
No, that's not true.
564
00:30:58,041 --> 00:31:01,750
When your father says
he didn't mean to miss that goal,
565
00:31:01,833 --> 00:31:03,833
I know he clearly threw the game.
566
00:31:03,916 --> 00:31:05,916
That's what you think of me?
567
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,208
No one would miss that.
It was an open goal.
568
00:31:08,291 --> 00:31:11,583
A mosquito flew into my nose.
I've said that a million times!
569
00:31:11,666 --> 00:31:13,291
-You're not a real Vasco fan.
-I am!
570
00:31:13,375 --> 00:31:14,958
Enough, you two!
571
00:31:15,041 --> 00:31:17,541
That was the worst excuse I've ever heard.
572
00:31:17,625 --> 00:31:18,583
Excuse us, Ameba.
573
00:31:18,666 --> 00:31:21,583
Just admit you went out to party.
574
00:31:21,666 --> 00:31:23,833
But to say my brother is a vampire?
575
00:31:23,916 --> 00:31:25,166
Fine. I have proof.
576
00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:26,666
-Oh, do you?
-Don't do that!
577
00:31:26,750 --> 00:31:28,666
I'll show it. Don't interfere.
578
00:31:28,750 --> 00:31:30,500
-I wanna see it.
-I'll show it to you.
579
00:31:30,583 --> 00:31:32,833
-Let me see.
-This is what your brother was up to.
580
00:31:32,916 --> 00:31:34,875
Look. There.
581
00:31:37,500 --> 00:31:38,416
What's that?
582
00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:40,416
A drunk woman brushing up
against the wall.
583
00:31:40,500 --> 00:31:44,250
-Where's Uncle Greg?
-Yes, but here he is…
584
00:31:45,333 --> 00:31:47,500
But he was here.
585
00:31:47,583 --> 00:31:49,875
Lenses and mirrors
can't capture a vampire's image.
586
00:31:49,958 --> 00:31:53,958
-They can't be filmed or tagged in posts.
-You could have said that before.
587
00:31:54,041 --> 00:31:55,125
I need to meditate.
588
00:31:55,208 --> 00:31:57,375
All right. Then answer this.
589
00:31:57,458 --> 00:32:00,250
Why do we never see him during the day?
590
00:32:00,333 --> 00:32:02,000
He's always asleep. Answer me!
591
00:32:02,083 --> 00:32:04,250
Oh, the cat got your tongue?
592
00:32:04,333 --> 00:32:06,458
"Oh my God!"
You can't answer that question.
593
00:32:06,541 --> 00:32:08,875
It's fine. I have the answer.
594
00:32:08,958 --> 00:32:10,291
Because he'd die!
595
00:32:10,375 --> 00:32:13,625
Yes! Your brother's kind
turns into ash under the sun.
596
00:32:13,708 --> 00:32:15,083
They die.
597
00:32:15,166 --> 00:32:19,416
That's why he always wakes up late
and doesn't join us by the pool.
598
00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:20,916
Because he'd die if…
599
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,833
-Morning, family!
-Hey, Greg. What's up?
600
00:32:23,916 --> 00:32:26,541
He would… Oh, hey.
601
00:32:26,625 --> 00:32:28,833
How's my awesome bro-in-law?
602
00:32:28,916 --> 00:32:31,791
I had a dream about you last night.
You were so stressed out.
603
00:32:31,875 --> 00:32:34,000
But I took good care of you.
604
00:32:34,083 --> 00:32:35,291
Right.
605
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,791
Guys, I think I'm not jet-lagged anymore.
606
00:32:38,875 --> 00:32:42,208
-Namaste, brother.
-Namaste, my darling.
607
00:32:42,708 --> 00:32:45,375
I wanna enjoy the pool
with the family, with Carol,
608
00:32:45,458 --> 00:32:46,916
and with this kid too.
609
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,416
-Come on.
-Yes, sure.
610
00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:51,708
It's such a beautiful day.
We are so blessed.
611
00:32:51,791 --> 00:32:53,250
So blessed.
612
00:32:53,333 --> 00:32:55,833
Everything I knew just…
613
00:32:55,916 --> 00:32:57,750
There's nothing here for me.
614
00:33:01,333 --> 00:33:03,791
Hey, shouldn't vampires die in the sun?
615
00:33:03,875 --> 00:33:05,750
He should have died.
616
00:33:05,833 --> 00:33:07,916
-That's strange.
-Very strange.
617
00:33:08,916 --> 00:33:13,000
Maybe he's a mutant kind
that's immune to sunlight.
618
00:33:13,083 --> 00:33:16,250
Some vampire lineages
can have different powers.
619
00:33:16,333 --> 00:33:18,208
-Why didn't you say so?
-You didn't ask.
620
00:33:18,291 --> 00:33:20,458
Did I have to ask?
621
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:23,375
But I think Vanessa kinda took it well.
622
00:33:23,916 --> 00:33:26,500
Honey, I made this for you!
623
00:33:26,583 --> 00:33:27,875
Want some zucchini?
624
00:33:27,958 --> 00:33:29,833
Is it bleeding?
625
00:33:29,916 --> 00:33:31,791
Maybe I'm a vampire too.
626
00:33:31,875 --> 00:33:33,125
Watch out.
627
00:33:39,083 --> 00:33:40,083
Super well.
628
00:33:40,166 --> 00:33:41,875
Shut up. God!
629
00:33:46,291 --> 00:33:48,250
Uncle Greg, your nose is funny.
630
00:34:26,458 --> 00:34:29,083
Brother, I'm so happy you're here.
631
00:34:34,916 --> 00:34:37,833
I think Fernandinho is just jealous.
632
00:34:41,958 --> 00:34:43,458
Thank you, sun…
633
00:34:44,208 --> 00:34:46,583
What's this? Everything okay, Carol?
634
00:34:46,666 --> 00:34:48,125
I'm not feeling well.
635
00:34:48,208 --> 00:34:51,083
I'm going to the bathroom. See you soon.
636
00:34:55,875 --> 00:34:57,416
Hey, sweetie.
637
00:35:37,916 --> 00:35:39,333
Damn it.
638
00:36:07,291 --> 00:36:08,541
Hey, Reinfildo.
639
00:36:08,625 --> 00:36:10,375
Is everything ready?
640
00:36:11,166 --> 00:36:12,000
Yeah?
641
00:36:12,541 --> 00:36:15,541
Great. I found a great place.
I'm sure he will like it.
642
00:36:15,625 --> 00:36:16,958
I'll see you soon.
643
00:36:43,750 --> 00:36:45,791
Ameba, we need to talk.
644
00:36:45,875 --> 00:36:49,291
If you wanna get back together,
drop it. I'm with someone else.
645
00:36:49,375 --> 00:36:52,000
Are you insane? I broke up with you.
646
00:36:52,083 --> 00:36:55,750
Carol, I know you were crazy about me.
No need to deny it.
647
00:36:55,833 --> 00:36:57,875
Quiet. My dad can't find out.
648
00:36:57,958 --> 00:36:59,791
Actually, the world can't find out.
649
00:36:59,875 --> 00:37:03,291
If I could turn back time,
I'd shoot myself before kissing you.
650
00:37:03,375 --> 00:37:08,416
What if you went back in time
and met yourself, creating a paradox--
651
00:37:08,500 --> 00:37:10,291
Shut up, you big nerd. Listen.
652
00:37:10,916 --> 00:37:12,500
I know Greg is a vampire.
653
00:37:14,250 --> 00:37:16,333
We need to tell the others.
654
00:37:16,416 --> 00:37:18,791
You can try. Vanessa didn't believe me.
655
00:37:18,875 --> 00:37:20,833
Actually, you didn't believe me.
656
00:37:20,916 --> 00:37:22,958
Carol, you can't convince anyone.
657
00:37:23,041 --> 00:37:25,333
It's their power.
You only find out by chance.
658
00:37:25,416 --> 00:37:26,916
Then we have to call the police.
659
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,125
They won't believe us.
660
00:37:28,208 --> 00:37:29,875
What are you doing, Dad?
661
00:37:29,958 --> 00:37:31,583
I'm making a cross.
662
00:37:31,666 --> 00:37:33,375
Crosses kill vampires.
663
00:37:34,416 --> 00:37:37,833
Not necessarily.
Crosses are like mothballs to cockroaches.
664
00:37:37,916 --> 00:37:40,541
They just scare them away.
You must have faith.
665
00:37:40,625 --> 00:37:43,500
-You never go to church, Dad.
-What? You're nuts.
666
00:37:43,583 --> 00:37:45,416
-I do go.
-When was the last time?
667
00:37:45,500 --> 00:37:46,750
My first communion.
668
00:37:46,833 --> 00:37:51,458
Hey, stop that. I'm a man of faith.
You all should know that.
669
00:37:51,541 --> 00:37:55,875
Many of the goals I scored
were dedicated to Jesus.
670
00:37:56,375 --> 00:37:58,916
-"This one is for You."
-Then say a prayer.
671
00:38:00,125 --> 00:38:02,875
A prayer? A real one?
672
00:38:02,958 --> 00:38:04,375
-Yeah.
-Jesus.
673
00:38:04,458 --> 00:38:06,416
We can't hide here forever.
674
00:38:06,500 --> 00:38:09,375
We need to do something
to get Greg out of the house.
675
00:38:09,458 --> 00:38:10,916
We need a miracle.
676
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,750
-Dad!
-Honey, what the hell!
677
00:38:13,833 --> 00:38:15,291
Uncle Greg is leaving.
678
00:38:17,250 --> 00:38:18,291
A man of faith.
679
00:38:19,041 --> 00:38:20,083
Love you.
680
00:38:20,166 --> 00:38:21,750
-The cab is waiting.
-Bye.
681
00:38:21,833 --> 00:38:22,708
I'll miss you.
682
00:38:22,791 --> 00:38:24,333
Don't forget your jacket.
683
00:38:24,416 --> 00:38:25,791
-I got it.
-Jacket?
684
00:38:25,875 --> 00:38:28,166
-Are you his grandma now?
-Fernandinho.
685
00:38:28,833 --> 00:38:31,875
I'm only joking. Sorry.
686
00:38:31,958 --> 00:38:36,916
Greg, text me your number and address.
We all want to visit you.
687
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:37,916
Speak for yourself.
688
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,125
I'll text them to you.
689
00:38:40,208 --> 00:38:41,083
-Bye!
-Bye!
690
00:38:41,166 --> 00:38:44,708
-Our door will always be open.
-Never. They'll be locked--
691
00:38:44,791 --> 00:38:48,000
What? Nothing, just kidding.
692
00:38:48,083 --> 00:38:50,083
I already miss him. Let's go in.
693
00:38:50,791 --> 00:38:54,041
-I miss Greg already.
-Not at all.
694
00:38:54,125 --> 00:38:55,833
Good night, sweetie.
695
00:38:55,916 --> 00:38:57,125
It was nothing.
696
00:38:57,208 --> 00:38:59,291
-We got rid of him!
-Yeah!
697
00:38:59,375 --> 00:39:00,666
Are you serious?
698
00:39:00,750 --> 00:39:02,958
We're just celebrating.
699
00:39:08,375 --> 00:39:09,208
My bad.
700
00:39:09,291 --> 00:39:10,791
Unbelievable.
701
00:39:10,875 --> 00:39:13,958
A vampire is on the loose,
and you won't do anything?
702
00:39:14,041 --> 00:39:16,750
Honey, I wanted Uncle Greg gone.
703
00:39:16,833 --> 00:39:20,250
He is gone. My family is safe.
That's what I had to do.
704
00:39:20,333 --> 00:39:21,791
You're being a coward.
705
00:39:22,708 --> 00:39:23,541
No.
706
00:39:24,041 --> 00:39:26,833
I put my family first.
That's what I have to do.
707
00:39:26,916 --> 00:39:29,250
Like when you threw
that match against Flamengo?
708
00:39:30,458 --> 00:39:32,250
Is that what you think of your dad?
709
00:39:32,333 --> 00:39:36,875
Who's to say that when you shot that ball,
you didn't put family first too?
710
00:39:39,625 --> 00:39:41,958
I thought you knew me better than that.
711
00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:44,666
Dad, I love you.
712
00:39:45,208 --> 00:39:46,833
But love is not admiration.
713
00:39:46,916 --> 00:39:50,083
I can't look up to someone
who only takes shortcuts.
714
00:39:50,666 --> 00:39:53,208
Listen, I did what I had to do.
715
00:39:54,125 --> 00:39:55,583
And you're wrong.
716
00:39:55,666 --> 00:39:58,291
If I miss what we had before…
717
00:39:59,958 --> 00:40:01,833
maybe I'll get over it one day.
718
00:40:22,458 --> 00:40:23,291
VAMPIRES
719
00:40:23,375 --> 00:40:25,458
Good morning, darlings!
720
00:40:26,250 --> 00:40:27,625
You're ignoring me.
721
00:40:27,708 --> 00:40:30,541
Hey, sweetie. Hey. How are you?
722
00:40:31,208 --> 00:40:32,666
I'm taking one.
723
00:40:35,041 --> 00:40:37,750
-Where's everyone?
-They're running late.
724
00:40:37,833 --> 00:40:40,916
No one has any consideration
for anyone else anymore.
725
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,708
-They must be on their way.
-What are you watching?
726
00:40:43,791 --> 00:40:46,708
A Polish movie about the journey
of an immigrant vampire
727
00:40:46,791 --> 00:40:48,916
who finds love in unusual places.
728
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,541
That sounds very interesting.
729
00:41:01,625 --> 00:41:02,958
What's going on?
730
00:41:03,458 --> 00:41:04,583
Why is this… What?
731
00:41:05,833 --> 00:41:07,416
Why is it… What?
732
00:41:09,750 --> 00:41:10,958
There you are.
733
00:41:11,833 --> 00:41:15,666
A round of applause
for your shameless behavior.
734
00:41:15,750 --> 00:41:19,500
I can tell you were indulging
in debauchery. I can see it.
735
00:41:19,583 --> 00:41:22,500
You of all people, Claudionor.
736
00:41:22,583 --> 00:41:24,333
I'm here. We had agreed.
737
00:41:24,416 --> 00:41:26,916
We had teasers to shoot.
You were gonna come in early.
738
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,458
You better do it on your own.
739
00:41:30,041 --> 00:41:31,875
You're the star, right?
740
00:41:31,958 --> 00:41:34,375
You can do it by yourself.
741
00:41:34,458 --> 00:41:38,500
Yes, I am a star indeed.
A packed stadium screamed my name.
742
00:41:38,583 --> 00:41:42,333
That was back when TV had no screens.
743
00:41:42,416 --> 00:41:45,083
Yes, I am a star. But we host this show.
744
00:41:45,166 --> 00:41:47,958
I do too much already.
I don't need you on my case.
745
00:41:48,041 --> 00:41:49,916
-Let me be.
-You're scolding us?
746
00:41:50,791 --> 00:41:53,500
That's psychological harassment.
747
00:41:53,583 --> 00:41:55,875
-Why are you getting so close?
-We can sue you.
748
00:41:55,958 --> 00:41:58,416
What are you talking about?
749
00:41:58,500 --> 00:42:01,541
I can tell you two are up to no good.
750
00:42:01,625 --> 00:42:04,708
You're giving off a bad vibe, you leeches.
751
00:42:04,791 --> 00:42:07,500
You want my blood, but you won't have it.
752
00:42:07,583 --> 00:42:10,250
-I only want what's fair.
-Fernandinho.
753
00:42:10,333 --> 00:42:12,666
-What do you want?
-Come here.
754
00:42:12,750 --> 00:42:15,541
Are you suing me too? One second.
755
00:42:15,625 --> 00:42:18,500
We still have to talk. Outrageous.
756
00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:20,875
-What do you want?
-Check the video.
757
00:42:20,958 --> 00:42:24,541
What are you doing with my cell phone?
758
00:42:27,041 --> 00:42:28,375
Oh God.
759
00:42:28,458 --> 00:42:29,833
I see.
760
00:42:29,916 --> 00:42:33,583
Guys, I was thinking, and you're right.
761
00:42:33,666 --> 00:42:35,458
I do cross the line sometimes.
762
00:42:35,541 --> 00:42:39,291
People need boundaries.
Boundaries! Am I right?
763
00:42:39,375 --> 00:42:41,875
We will help you with the show.
764
00:42:41,958 --> 00:42:43,541
Yes, let's do it.
765
00:42:43,625 --> 00:42:46,333
No can do. The cell phone is dying.
766
00:42:46,416 --> 00:42:48,666
Why are you talking about death?
767
00:42:48,750 --> 00:42:51,125
-You know what? Go home.
-Yeah.
768
00:42:51,208 --> 00:42:53,833
-Get some rest. It's for the best.
-Yeah.
769
00:42:53,916 --> 00:42:58,208
Talk to Roberval, your ghost neighbor.
770
00:42:58,291 --> 00:43:00,833
-Ghosts don't exist.
-They don't.
771
00:43:00,916 --> 00:43:04,791
Stay with your wife.
She misses you. Snuggle a bit.
772
00:43:04,875 --> 00:43:06,875
-Go. You can go.
-Let's do it.
773
00:43:06,958 --> 00:43:08,583
Get some rest.
774
00:43:08,666 --> 00:43:10,541
That's right. You need some rest.
775
00:43:10,625 --> 00:43:12,750
-I shat my pants.
-So did I.
776
00:43:12,833 --> 00:43:15,500
Man, let me tell you.
777
00:43:15,583 --> 00:43:18,750
-Listen, let's put the show on hold.
-I agree.
778
00:43:18,833 --> 00:43:22,000
Let's do that.
Close the door and have it welded shut.
779
00:43:22,083 --> 00:43:24,500
-Keep everyone out.
-I got this.
780
00:43:24,583 --> 00:43:25,916
I'm going home.
781
00:43:34,416 --> 00:43:35,541
Fernandinho?
782
00:43:35,625 --> 00:43:38,125
What the fuck? Is that a bat?
783
00:43:38,208 --> 00:43:39,791
I'm not a bat. Are you okay?
784
00:43:39,875 --> 00:43:41,708
I am. Not sure about you.
785
00:43:41,791 --> 00:43:43,416
Honey, what are you doing here?
786
00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:44,750
I live here.
787
00:43:45,333 --> 00:43:47,083
Forgot about your appointment?
788
00:43:47,666 --> 00:43:50,333
Tonight is not good. I'm too stressed out.
789
00:43:50,416 --> 00:43:52,416
I'm sorry. I can't do it tonight.
790
00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:55,125
That's not what I'm talking about.
Read that letter.
791
00:43:55,208 --> 00:43:56,333
Letter?
792
00:43:57,916 --> 00:43:59,875
The hearing with Michele!
793
00:44:06,708 --> 00:44:07,625
Hi.
794
00:44:08,708 --> 00:44:10,916
Homero. How's it going?
795
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:13,375
I apologize for being late.
796
00:44:13,458 --> 00:44:16,083
I'm having a bad day.
797
00:44:16,166 --> 00:44:17,750
No worries.
798
00:44:17,833 --> 00:44:21,875
Listen, your ex-wife has been waiting
for over an hour.
799
00:44:21,958 --> 00:44:23,916
So take it easy.
800
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:28,583
I'll try. We're good, right?
We're cool? I got this.
801
00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:29,958
-Excuse me.
-Sure.
802
00:44:30,041 --> 00:44:32,333
Michele, look who's here.
803
00:44:32,416 --> 00:44:33,958
Hey, Michele. How are you?
804
00:44:35,125 --> 00:44:37,000
I'm great, Fernandinho.
805
00:44:41,208 --> 00:44:43,958
Did you go back to the club after I left?
806
00:44:44,041 --> 00:44:46,750
Of course… that's none of your business.
807
00:44:47,291 --> 00:44:50,833
Well, Fernando. I've read the file.
808
00:44:50,916 --> 00:44:53,583
I talked to Michele's lawyer.
809
00:44:53,666 --> 00:44:57,041
We both feel
we should reach an understanding.
810
00:44:57,125 --> 00:44:59,083
-I agree.
-I disagree.
811
00:44:59,166 --> 00:45:01,166
I think we should reschedule this.
812
00:45:01,250 --> 00:45:02,833
-Can we?
-No!
813
00:45:03,416 --> 00:45:06,875
Michele, you've taken everything.
I have nothing else to give.
814
00:45:06,958 --> 00:45:08,083
I disagree.
815
00:45:08,958 --> 00:45:10,958
There's still a lot to take.
816
00:45:11,750 --> 00:45:13,458
-Look at that!
-Listen.
817
00:45:13,541 --> 00:45:17,916
In these cases, the best thing to do
818
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:21,375
is try to reach an agreement
without a third-party mediator.
819
00:45:21,458 --> 00:45:23,208
Which is me.
820
00:45:23,291 --> 00:45:26,041
Remember that everything
can and should be discussed.
821
00:45:26,125 --> 00:45:27,875
Relax. I'll leave you two alone.
822
00:45:27,958 --> 00:45:30,541
Hell no! No, stay here.
823
00:45:30,625 --> 00:45:31,708
Don't go.
824
00:45:31,791 --> 00:45:33,958
-Why?
-Because…
825
00:45:34,041 --> 00:45:37,375
My ex-wife is a bloodthirsty vampire.
826
00:45:38,041 --> 00:45:40,625
Fernando, every ex-husband says that.
827
00:45:40,708 --> 00:45:43,541
No, I mean it.
Just take a look at her fangs.
828
00:45:44,541 --> 00:45:46,458
-She's a vampire.
-Fernando…
829
00:45:46,541 --> 00:45:51,833
Don't see her as your enemy,
but as someone that you used to love.
830
00:45:51,916 --> 00:45:56,541
-She means no harm.
-Yes, she does. Just look.
831
00:45:56,625 --> 00:45:57,833
Jeez!
832
00:45:57,916 --> 00:45:59,375
Fernando, be an adult.
833
00:45:59,458 --> 00:46:01,541
I'm not letting you bail this time.
834
00:46:01,625 --> 00:46:03,375
I'm locking the door.
835
00:46:03,458 --> 00:46:05,000
No! For the love of God!
836
00:46:05,083 --> 00:46:07,625
Homero! Don't go!
837
00:46:07,708 --> 00:46:09,708
Homero, come back!
838
00:46:10,791 --> 00:46:12,416
Take it easy, Michele.
839
00:46:17,083 --> 00:46:19,291
It's been a quiet day today.
840
00:46:19,375 --> 00:46:21,333
Homero, open the door! Please!
841
00:46:26,083 --> 00:46:27,458
Homero! Stop it!
842
00:46:27,541 --> 00:46:29,041
Go ahead and talk.
843
00:46:29,125 --> 00:46:30,708
Dialog is everything.
844
00:46:34,125 --> 00:46:36,083
No! Take it easy, Michele!
845
00:46:51,375 --> 00:46:52,791
Oh God!
846
00:46:55,291 --> 00:46:57,833
Michele!
847
00:46:59,083 --> 00:47:01,625
I'll pay more child support!
848
00:47:01,708 --> 00:47:04,041
-Do you mean it?
-I do!
849
00:47:04,125 --> 00:47:07,083
Yes, my friend.
850
00:47:07,166 --> 00:47:09,250
Give a little.
851
00:47:09,333 --> 00:47:11,250
I want the beach house too.
852
00:47:11,333 --> 00:47:14,166
That's not fair.
I bought that after our divorce!
853
00:47:14,666 --> 00:47:16,791
Fine, you can have it!
854
00:47:16,875 --> 00:47:18,916
And I want a new car.
855
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,500
And the pet store.
856
00:47:20,583 --> 00:47:22,750
An apartment in my daughter's name.
857
00:47:22,833 --> 00:47:24,916
-Fucking hell!
-And it came cheap.
858
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,583
Yes, it did.
859
00:47:26,666 --> 00:47:29,208
I want everything you have. Everything!
860
00:47:29,291 --> 00:47:30,250
Everything!
861
00:47:30,333 --> 00:47:31,625
Everything!
862
00:47:32,250 --> 00:47:33,750
And I want justice!
863
00:47:33,833 --> 00:47:35,833
You want justice? Here it is!
864
00:48:10,708 --> 00:48:13,791
Carol, answer the phone! For God's sake!
865
00:48:14,333 --> 00:48:15,541
Answer it!
866
00:48:17,583 --> 00:48:19,083
Hey, Dad. How's it going?
867
00:48:19,166 --> 00:48:21,125
Sweetheart, where are you?
868
00:48:21,208 --> 00:48:23,166
I'm at Mom's, like you said.
869
00:48:23,250 --> 00:48:25,875
No, get out of there! Leave now!
870
00:48:25,958 --> 00:48:27,083
Why?
871
00:48:28,583 --> 00:48:29,416
Uncle Greg!
872
00:48:29,500 --> 00:48:30,541
Sweetheart?
873
00:48:31,375 --> 00:48:33,375
Hello, Carol?
874
00:48:34,125 --> 00:48:35,250
Carol, sweetie.
875
00:48:35,333 --> 00:48:37,041
What are you doing here?
876
00:48:37,125 --> 00:48:39,208
It was such a coincidence.
877
00:48:39,291 --> 00:48:42,541
I met your mother at a club,
and we became friends.
878
00:48:42,625 --> 00:48:44,541
-You can't be serious.
-I am.
879
00:48:44,625 --> 00:48:46,458
Come inside. We can talk.
880
00:48:46,541 --> 00:48:49,166
I can't. I'm meeting my dad.
881
00:48:49,250 --> 00:48:51,000
And I'm a bit late.
882
00:48:51,083 --> 00:48:55,041
Did I tell you we're throwing a party?
A Halloween ball.
883
00:48:55,583 --> 00:48:58,166
-Stay and help us.
-I can't. I have to go.
884
00:49:06,166 --> 00:49:07,333
Come inside.
885
00:49:08,625 --> 00:49:11,125
Come on, Carol! Hurry up!
886
00:49:12,375 --> 00:49:13,458
Come, sweetheart!
887
00:49:13,541 --> 00:49:16,916
Quick, get in the car! Come on!
888
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,500
-There.
-Drive, Dad!
889
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:33,583
-Are you okay? Did he do anything to you?
-I'm okay, Dad.
890
00:49:33,666 --> 00:49:34,916
How's Mom?
891
00:49:36,500 --> 00:49:38,500
It's not good, sweetheart.
892
00:49:40,333 --> 00:49:41,666
But I'll fix it.
893
00:49:42,708 --> 00:49:44,291
Trust me. I promise.
894
00:49:45,416 --> 00:49:47,375
I wanted to tell you something.
895
00:49:47,458 --> 00:49:50,125
You were right. I was a fool.
896
00:49:50,208 --> 00:49:52,916
I didn't listen,
and now this thing is spreading.
897
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:54,916
We need to join forces and…
898
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:56,583
Save the family?
899
00:49:56,666 --> 00:49:57,583
No, honey.
900
00:49:58,875 --> 00:50:00,250
Do the right thing.
901
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,833
You're much better than me.
902
00:50:04,791 --> 00:50:06,500
You're the best dad ever.
903
00:50:09,125 --> 00:50:10,791
-I love you.
-I love you too.
904
00:50:12,458 --> 00:50:14,458
But I don't know where to start.
905
00:50:14,541 --> 00:50:16,291
We need a plan.
906
00:50:16,375 --> 00:50:20,333
Let's talk to Ameba.
Greg said something about a party.
907
00:50:21,250 --> 00:50:22,083
What party?
908
00:50:22,166 --> 00:50:23,500
A ball.
909
00:50:24,291 --> 00:50:25,458
A vampire ball.
910
00:50:33,208 --> 00:50:37,083
Hey, boss. Can you check
if everything is all right?
911
00:50:38,583 --> 00:50:40,958
Nice party you're throwing.
912
00:50:41,041 --> 00:50:42,916
Such great production.
913
00:50:44,083 --> 00:50:48,291
What is it going to be?
Graduation? Sweet sixteen?
914
00:50:48,375 --> 00:50:49,500
Sorry.
915
00:50:52,458 --> 00:50:53,791
A funeral, right?
916
00:50:55,166 --> 00:50:57,125
All right. That's tough.
917
00:50:57,833 --> 00:51:00,375
Things are… Jesus, another one.
918
00:51:00,958 --> 00:51:02,083
Fuck.
919
00:51:02,166 --> 00:51:03,500
That sucks, boss.
920
00:51:03,583 --> 00:51:06,666
It's cold today, huh? I've got chills.
921
00:51:07,166 --> 00:51:08,833
So cold.
922
00:51:10,208 --> 00:51:12,458
Look! Carol was right.
923
00:51:12,541 --> 00:51:15,625
The vampires will have a party,
and with good reason.
924
00:51:15,708 --> 00:51:18,583
Ullah Drax, a powerful
Romanian businessman, is in Brazil.
925
00:51:18,666 --> 00:51:22,000
Everyone suspects
he's the real Count Dracula.
926
00:51:22,083 --> 00:51:25,000
They suspect? Ullah Drax?
927
00:51:25,083 --> 00:51:27,041
Of course he's Count Dracula.
928
00:51:27,125 --> 00:51:28,208
It's so obvious.
929
00:51:28,291 --> 00:51:31,666
It's obvious for us.
People don't know any better.
930
00:51:31,750 --> 00:51:33,500
But he's the alpha vampire!
931
00:51:33,583 --> 00:51:36,916
If we kill Ullah Drax,
the others will go back to normal.
932
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:38,166
We can save Greg!
933
00:51:38,250 --> 00:51:40,833
-Who said I want to?
-What about Mom?
934
00:51:40,916 --> 00:51:42,708
Don't ask such hard questions.
935
00:51:42,791 --> 00:51:44,125
Chicão and Claudionor.
936
00:51:44,208 --> 00:51:45,875
And everyone else, Dad.
937
00:51:45,958 --> 00:51:48,250
You're right. I'm sorry.
I had a horrible night.
938
00:51:48,333 --> 00:51:51,041
I don't wanna see any vampires. Honestly--
939
00:51:51,708 --> 00:51:54,958
For the love of God!
Don't bite! Your daddy loves you!
940
00:51:55,041 --> 00:51:57,708
-Bite Ameba! He's not family.
-Stay away!
941
00:51:57,791 --> 00:51:59,333
Don't overreact, honey.
942
00:51:59,416 --> 00:52:01,166
She's just so cute!
943
00:52:01,250 --> 00:52:05,083
-Tell that to my underwear.
-That's uncalled for.
944
00:52:05,166 --> 00:52:06,333
What's with the costume?
945
00:52:06,416 --> 00:52:09,750
It's for Halloween.
This imported holiday the kids love.
946
00:52:09,833 --> 00:52:14,250
I'd prefer her as Curupira.
A national hero, a creature of light.
947
00:52:14,333 --> 00:52:18,083
But she insisted on being a vampire.
Go change. The party is tomorrow.
948
00:52:18,166 --> 00:52:20,083
-No, Mom!
-Your makeup is vegan.
949
00:52:20,166 --> 00:52:21,208
It's tomorrow?
950
00:52:21,875 --> 00:52:23,375
Here's the plan.
951
00:52:23,458 --> 00:52:24,875
Honey, tell me.
952
00:52:24,958 --> 00:52:27,291
What's that thing you like? "Codplace"?
953
00:52:27,375 --> 00:52:28,833
-Cosplay.
-Cosplay, yes.
954
00:52:28,916 --> 00:52:32,000
You could dress us up as vampires.
955
00:52:32,083 --> 00:52:33,750
Yes, I can do that.
956
00:52:39,791 --> 00:52:42,916
Tomorrow night,
we'll all be disguised as vampires.
957
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:44,000
DISGUISE
958
00:52:44,083 --> 00:52:47,166
Vanessa won't suspect anything,
because it's Halloween.
959
00:52:48,458 --> 00:52:53,416
In the meantime,
we will take care of the equipment.
960
00:52:53,500 --> 00:52:54,958
I'll make stakes.
961
00:53:00,083 --> 00:53:02,083
Ameba, you take care of the rest.
962
00:53:02,166 --> 00:53:03,708
-What rest?
-The rest.
963
00:53:03,791 --> 00:53:05,791
Arrows, crucifix and holy water.
964
00:53:14,750 --> 00:53:16,166
VAMPIRE-SLAYING KIT
965
00:53:16,250 --> 00:53:17,625
BONUS!
CARVED CROSS
966
00:53:18,708 --> 00:53:20,416
SAME-DAY DELIVERY
BUY NOW
967
00:53:20,500 --> 00:53:22,041
You take everything to a church.
968
00:53:22,125 --> 00:53:23,500
BLESSING
969
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:29,416
We need a priest…
970
00:53:30,833 --> 00:53:32,416
to bless everything, okay?
971
00:53:35,666 --> 00:53:38,291
After that, we'll wait until sunset,
972
00:53:38,375 --> 00:53:40,041
and we'll rendezvous
973
00:53:40,708 --> 00:53:41,750
here.
974
00:53:48,791 --> 00:53:50,541
In our living room.
975
00:53:50,625 --> 00:53:55,083
-Fernandinho, you drew the whole house.
-Shut up. Can you draw?
976
00:53:55,166 --> 00:53:58,458
It took me forever to do this.
I used up two pens.
977
00:53:58,541 --> 00:54:01,416
We'll strut around
like it's just Halloween.
978
00:54:01,500 --> 00:54:03,750
"Halloween, such a cool holiday."
979
00:54:03,833 --> 00:54:06,666
I'll park the car far away from the house.
980
00:54:06,750 --> 00:54:08,125
Genius.
981
00:54:08,208 --> 00:54:09,750
Don't interrupt.
982
00:54:09,833 --> 00:54:11,416
Then, we will move
983
00:54:12,208 --> 00:54:14,458
towards Michele's house.
984
00:54:14,541 --> 00:54:17,000
-When we get there…
-We kill Drax!
985
00:54:17,083 --> 00:54:19,083
Shut up. That was my moment.
986
00:54:19,791 --> 00:54:21,541
We will kill…
987
00:54:23,083 --> 00:54:24,458
Ullah Drax.
988
00:54:24,541 --> 00:54:27,125
-Yeah!
-Oh, such a nerd.
989
00:54:42,166 --> 00:54:44,041
-Hi, Dad.
-Hi, sweetie.
990
00:54:44,625 --> 00:54:46,166
She ruined our disguise.
991
00:54:46,250 --> 00:54:48,958
I love your costumes.
Honey, you look amazing!
992
00:54:49,041 --> 00:54:50,666
I made it myself, honey.
993
00:54:51,250 --> 00:54:53,875
-You look just like Hebe.
-No…
994
00:54:53,958 --> 00:54:54,958
Aren't you coming?
995
00:54:55,041 --> 00:54:57,958
No, I'm going with them.
I can't leave them alone.
996
00:54:58,041 --> 00:54:59,291
You know, teenagers.
997
00:54:59,375 --> 00:55:01,666
-Okay.
-I'll see you later.
998
00:55:01,750 --> 00:55:04,125
-We want vegan candy.
-Do I really look like Hebe?
999
00:55:12,041 --> 00:55:13,291
Hurry up, Dad!
1000
00:55:13,375 --> 00:55:15,750
This costume keeps riding up my ass.
1001
00:55:17,791 --> 00:55:19,916
Look at this guy!
1002
00:55:20,958 --> 00:55:22,750
Dude, that's sick!
1003
00:55:22,833 --> 00:55:25,791
Hey, mister. I love your nun costume.
1004
00:55:25,875 --> 00:55:27,625
No, this is not…
1005
00:55:27,708 --> 00:55:30,291
-That's so scary.
-It's wild.
1006
00:55:30,375 --> 00:55:34,291
Honey, didn't you have
a worse costume to give me?
1007
00:55:35,208 --> 00:55:37,000
Dad, don't complain.
1008
00:56:02,833 --> 00:56:05,625
Ameba, do you have everything?
1009
00:56:05,708 --> 00:56:09,291
Right here. Balloons with holy water,
arrows, cross, and stakes.
1010
00:56:09,375 --> 00:56:10,916
-Good.
-And the crossbow?
1011
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:12,000
Oh boy.
1012
00:56:12,083 --> 00:56:13,666
How stupid can one be?
1013
00:56:14,250 --> 00:56:15,958
Well, well, well.
1014
00:56:16,041 --> 00:56:19,708
What a perfect night to drink some blood.
1015
00:56:19,791 --> 00:56:21,916
To have a little chat…
1016
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,083
You're not up for it?
1017
00:56:24,166 --> 00:56:26,375
Did you have everything blessed?
1018
00:56:26,458 --> 00:56:28,041
Yes, everything's ready.
1019
00:56:28,125 --> 00:56:29,500
Pick that up. Come on.
1020
00:56:30,916 --> 00:56:34,666
Don't make the sign of the cross.
You'll expose us!
1021
00:56:50,125 --> 00:56:52,250
-Don't step on my costume.
-Okay.
1022
00:57:01,916 --> 00:57:04,958
Avoid bumping into people we know.
1023
00:57:13,583 --> 00:57:16,958
Holy crap!
What has my mother done to her house?
1024
00:57:18,375 --> 00:57:19,541
I can't believe it!
1025
00:57:20,666 --> 00:57:22,958
I love your hair!
1026
00:57:25,083 --> 00:57:27,083
-So close.
-I know. Mom didn't recognize you.
1027
00:57:27,166 --> 00:57:29,791
That leaves scars.
Daddy will pay for therapy.
1028
00:57:29,875 --> 00:57:33,083
Listen, we need to find the big boss.
1029
00:57:34,166 --> 00:57:36,416
-I don't see him anywhere.
-Me neither.
1030
00:57:36,500 --> 00:57:38,166
-I see it.
-Who?
1031
00:57:38,250 --> 00:57:39,666
Not "who," but "what."
1032
00:57:40,458 --> 00:57:43,000
My ball with Pele's autograph.
1033
00:57:43,500 --> 00:57:45,750
I'm taking that ball with me tonight.
1034
00:57:45,833 --> 00:57:48,291
Dad, it's not the time for that.
1035
00:57:48,875 --> 00:57:51,208
That ball is very important to me.
1036
00:57:51,291 --> 00:57:53,375
It's from when he played for Vasco.
1037
00:57:53,458 --> 00:57:55,000
Carol is right, man.
1038
00:57:55,083 --> 00:57:56,708
I can't understand a word.
1039
00:57:56,791 --> 00:57:59,041
Carol is right.
This is not the time for that.
1040
00:58:00,083 --> 00:58:02,583
Do you hear yourself? Come on, kid.
1041
00:58:02,666 --> 00:58:04,208
What do we do now?
1042
00:58:04,291 --> 00:58:06,375
I think we'd better split up.
1043
00:58:06,458 --> 00:58:08,458
Yes. Good idea, sweetie.
1044
00:58:09,583 --> 00:58:12,416
What part of "split up"
don't you understand?
1045
00:58:25,916 --> 00:58:27,666
Hey. How's it going?
1046
00:58:27,750 --> 00:58:29,958
I'm sorry. I don't have any change.
1047
00:58:30,041 --> 00:58:31,500
Holy shit.
1048
00:58:31,583 --> 00:58:34,875
I think that's a cyst.
You can have that removed.
1049
00:58:36,583 --> 00:58:39,625
He asked if you'd like some blood.
1050
00:58:39,708 --> 00:58:40,875
Yeah, okay.
1051
00:58:40,958 --> 00:58:43,083
-Is it red?
-Yes.
1052
00:58:43,166 --> 00:58:46,125
-All blood is red.
-Interesting.
1053
00:58:46,208 --> 00:58:49,583
I'd say yes, but not tonight.
I'm on a very strict diet.
1054
00:58:49,666 --> 00:58:51,666
It's my gallbladder.
1055
00:58:51,750 --> 00:58:55,416
I had never seen a vampire refuse blood.
1056
00:58:55,500 --> 00:58:57,208
It's just that…
1057
00:58:57,291 --> 00:58:59,083
We've got an audience.
1058
00:58:59,166 --> 00:59:02,208
Fine, I'll start the diet on Monday.
No problem.
1059
00:59:02,291 --> 00:59:03,166
-I'll--
-Drink it.
1060
00:59:03,791 --> 00:59:05,541
Yes, I'll drink it.
1061
00:59:07,583 --> 00:59:11,333
What type is it? Is it AB positive?
1062
00:59:13,833 --> 00:59:16,833
It's thick.
If you look closely, it's thick.
1063
00:59:16,916 --> 00:59:18,250
-All good, though.
-Drink it.
1064
00:59:18,333 --> 00:59:20,208
Yes, I'll drink it.
1065
00:59:20,916 --> 00:59:22,291
The type…
1066
00:59:32,875 --> 00:59:34,625
So good.
1067
00:59:37,583 --> 00:59:41,958
So good. Oh, just so good.
1068
00:59:42,041 --> 00:59:44,666
It's got a slight hemoglobin flavor.
1069
00:59:44,750 --> 00:59:46,125
I could tell.
1070
00:59:46,208 --> 00:59:49,333
And a cholesterol aftertaste.
1071
00:59:49,416 --> 00:59:51,041
Very good indeed.
1072
00:59:51,125 --> 00:59:53,666
But I'll just have that one glass.
1073
00:59:53,750 --> 00:59:56,958
You never know what could happen.
1074
00:59:57,041 --> 00:59:59,916
It went straight through me.
I hadn't had any in a long time.
1075
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,750
Every time this happens, I have to…
1076
01:00:02,833 --> 01:00:04,083
If you'll excuse me.
1077
01:00:04,166 --> 01:00:07,500
You should get that checked.
Excuse me, Mr. Speak-a-Lot.
1078
01:00:29,708 --> 01:00:31,541
Hello. How are you?
1079
01:00:31,625 --> 01:00:33,625
Hey. You're tall.
1080
01:00:34,125 --> 01:00:36,125
Little Red Riding Hood, hello.
1081
01:00:36,625 --> 01:00:38,458
Where are you going, handsome?
1082
01:00:38,541 --> 01:00:41,208
I was just walking around…
1083
01:00:41,291 --> 01:00:43,166
-How are you?
-Just fine.
1084
01:00:44,833 --> 01:00:47,791
-I love your outfit.
-I'm glad you like it.
1085
01:00:47,875 --> 01:00:51,208
I bought it at an outlet store
in Transylvania, you know?
1086
01:00:51,291 --> 01:00:52,791
I love Transylvania.
1087
01:00:52,875 --> 01:00:54,416
-I'm from there.
-You are?
1088
01:00:54,500 --> 01:00:56,875
Holy crap, I'm spinning.
1089
01:00:59,083 --> 01:01:00,333
Pervert!
1090
01:01:00,416 --> 01:01:02,500
You really got me there.
1091
01:01:05,916 --> 01:01:06,916
I like that jam.
1092
01:01:07,458 --> 01:01:08,958
That's my jam.
1093
01:01:09,041 --> 01:01:10,791
It's your lucky day
1094
01:01:10,875 --> 01:01:13,500
I get close to suck that neck
1095
01:01:13,583 --> 01:01:15,833
-Suck
-Suck that neck
1096
01:01:15,916 --> 01:01:19,000
-Suck
-Suck that neck
1097
01:01:19,083 --> 01:01:22,208
-Suck
-Suck that neck
1098
01:01:22,291 --> 01:01:25,791
-Suck
-Suck that neck
1099
01:01:25,875 --> 01:01:29,041
We're getting the party going in my coffin
1100
01:01:29,125 --> 01:01:32,208
She is ready with a glass in her hand
1101
01:01:32,291 --> 01:01:35,000
She looks good and ready for blood
1102
01:01:35,083 --> 01:01:36,625
So tasty!
1103
01:01:36,708 --> 01:01:38,625
Vampi, vampi, vampire
1104
01:01:38,708 --> 01:01:40,625
-Come on
-She's ready to party
1105
01:01:40,708 --> 01:01:42,416
It's your lucky day
1106
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,166
Silence, please.
1107
01:01:45,250 --> 01:01:48,833
-My guest has something to say.
-Thank you, my queen.
1108
01:01:48,916 --> 01:01:51,958
Friends, I'd like a moment
of your attention.
1109
01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:53,583
Today is a special day.
1110
01:01:53,666 --> 01:01:57,666
We are celebrating the honor of welcoming
1111
01:01:57,750 --> 01:01:58,958
our great leader.
1112
01:02:00,125 --> 01:02:01,291
Ullah Drax,
1113
01:02:01,375 --> 01:02:04,500
better known as Count Dracula!
1114
01:02:18,458 --> 01:02:20,000
Look.
1115
01:02:20,625 --> 01:02:21,916
My subjects.
1116
01:02:25,708 --> 01:02:26,916
Friends.
1117
01:02:28,083 --> 01:02:29,375
My army.
1118
01:02:30,250 --> 01:02:33,416
This is a very important moment
for all of us.
1119
01:02:33,500 --> 01:02:36,541
The lands of the North
with their cold nights
1120
01:02:37,541 --> 01:02:39,208
have already been conquered.
1121
01:02:39,291 --> 01:02:41,541
Half the world is ours.
1122
01:02:41,625 --> 01:02:44,291
But the sunny lands of the South,
1123
01:02:44,375 --> 01:02:45,750
where it's warm…
1124
01:02:46,666 --> 01:02:50,375
We're only taking our first steps.
1125
01:02:50,958 --> 01:02:54,291
We still have a lot to do here.
1126
01:02:54,375 --> 01:02:57,083
You are only
1127
01:02:57,166 --> 01:03:00,583
the beginning of a new civilization,
1128
01:03:00,666 --> 01:03:03,583
of a new race!
1129
01:03:06,666 --> 01:03:10,916
We must understand
we have many enemies around us.
1130
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:13,416
None of us is safe from being attacked
1131
01:03:13,500 --> 01:03:16,333
or killed by some mortal.
1132
01:03:17,041 --> 01:03:20,416
But I assure you, as long as I'm alive,
1133
01:03:20,500 --> 01:03:23,000
all of you will live.
1134
01:03:30,916 --> 01:03:32,958
-Greg?
-Here, master.
1135
01:03:33,541 --> 01:03:35,916
You were vital in this conquest.
1136
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:38,333
Without you,
none of this would be possible.
1137
01:03:39,250 --> 01:03:40,625
Thank you, master.
1138
01:03:40,708 --> 01:03:42,958
I'm very happy with your work.
1139
01:03:43,041 --> 01:03:46,458
I have a surprise for you.
1140
01:03:47,375 --> 01:03:53,500
I know you could never bring yourself
to turn your sister and your niece.
1141
01:03:55,166 --> 01:03:56,333
I'm sorry.
1142
01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:58,541
This is awesome!
1143
01:03:58,625 --> 01:04:03,958
But I will not let you enjoy
eternal life without them.
1144
01:04:04,500 --> 01:04:05,833
It's so dusty up here.
1145
01:04:05,916 --> 01:04:08,708
A dust mite party.
I forgot my antihistamines.
1146
01:04:08,791 --> 01:04:09,958
Brother!
1147
01:04:10,041 --> 01:04:12,166
Your boss insisted that we came.
1148
01:04:13,041 --> 01:04:15,875
He is right behind me.
I'm a married woman.
1149
01:04:15,958 --> 01:04:17,333
Oh boy. That's close.
1150
01:04:18,750 --> 01:04:22,208
Guys, amazing production.
The party looks great!
1151
01:04:22,916 --> 01:04:25,875
Wait. Is that Michele?
She looks different.
1152
01:04:25,958 --> 01:04:28,666
What's that salad-eater doing in my house?
1153
01:04:28,750 --> 01:04:29,958
Here we go.
1154
01:04:30,041 --> 01:04:32,750
The pasty white bitch. So pale.
1155
01:04:32,833 --> 01:04:35,291
Did you get fillers?
That face looks like a war zone.
1156
01:04:36,583 --> 01:04:38,083
I look better, right?
1157
01:04:39,708 --> 01:04:40,958
A toast…
1158
01:04:42,458 --> 01:04:45,791
to conquering a new continent!
1159
01:04:45,875 --> 01:04:47,041
Long live Drax!
1160
01:04:47,125 --> 01:04:51,291
Long live Drax!
1161
01:04:51,375 --> 01:04:56,708
Long live Drax!
1162
01:05:53,125 --> 01:05:58,291
-My baby girl.
-I know what this is. It's indigestion.
1163
01:05:58,375 --> 01:06:00,625
Meat takes eight hours to be digested.
1164
01:06:00,708 --> 01:06:03,000
-This is what happens.
-We'll be the digested ones.
1165
01:06:03,083 --> 01:06:05,916
-Vanessa!
-Fernando? What are you doing here?
1166
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:09,583
Honey, I'm saving the world
from an invasion of vampires!
1167
01:06:09,666 --> 01:06:12,625
-That story again?
-It's not a story.
1168
01:06:21,416 --> 01:06:23,000
We'd better leave.
1169
01:06:25,708 --> 01:06:27,708
Who are you?
1170
01:06:28,625 --> 01:06:31,166
-What's happening, Ameba?
-I don't know.
1171
01:06:31,250 --> 01:06:33,083
-What's happening?
-I just asked that.
1172
01:06:33,166 --> 01:06:35,458
-Uncle Greg!
-Oh, my brother!
1173
01:06:35,541 --> 01:06:36,875
What's going on, Greg?
1174
01:06:37,375 --> 01:06:38,375
Vanessa!
1175
01:06:41,458 --> 01:06:42,833
Stay, Vanessa.
1176
01:06:44,416 --> 01:06:46,583
Don't let our guests escape.
1177
01:06:47,333 --> 01:06:49,000
Our should I say…
1178
01:06:49,083 --> 01:06:51,083
our main course?
1179
01:06:52,583 --> 01:06:54,791
I'm not getting a good vibe from you.
1180
01:06:54,875 --> 01:06:57,083
I'm not into this game. Count me out.
1181
01:06:57,166 --> 01:06:58,166
It's not a game.
1182
01:06:59,416 --> 01:07:00,875
Help me.
1183
01:07:04,500 --> 01:07:05,500
This way.
1184
01:07:06,375 --> 01:07:08,000
Hey, Ameba?
1185
01:07:08,083 --> 01:07:10,375
My cross is not working. It's broken.
1186
01:07:11,541 --> 01:07:14,333
We have holy water! You hear me?
1187
01:07:14,416 --> 01:07:15,583
And it's wet!
1188
01:07:15,666 --> 01:07:18,666
-Water is wet! What are you saying?
-I didn't know what to say.
1189
01:07:18,750 --> 01:07:20,666
-Bring them to me.
-Yeah?
1190
01:07:20,750 --> 01:07:23,875
That's not holy water.
I'd feel it from afar.
1191
01:07:23,958 --> 01:07:26,625
All right, we'll see. Die!
1192
01:07:27,250 --> 01:07:29,708
-Die!
-Die!
1193
01:07:29,791 --> 01:07:31,125
Die!
1194
01:07:31,208 --> 01:07:32,583
-Die!
-Die!
1195
01:07:32,666 --> 01:07:35,708
-Die, sucker!
-Ameba, why aren't they dying?
1196
01:07:35,791 --> 01:07:38,083
-They should be dying.
-They should.
1197
01:07:38,166 --> 01:07:39,916
-Why aren't they?
-I don't know!
1198
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:41,791
Get those idiots.
1199
01:07:46,500 --> 01:07:48,791
Run, Ameba!
1200
01:07:52,541 --> 01:07:54,333
Dad, come on!
1201
01:07:58,875 --> 01:08:01,416
-Hold the door, Vanessa!
-Help me!
1202
01:08:02,583 --> 01:08:05,250
-Get something to hit them!
-Go on, hit them!
1203
01:08:07,291 --> 01:08:08,833
What's going on, Fernandinho?
1204
01:08:08,916 --> 01:08:11,750
-You still don't understand, Vanessa?
-No.
1205
01:08:11,833 --> 01:08:14,708
-Dad was right. Uncle Greg is a vampire.
-That's so cool!
1206
01:08:14,791 --> 01:08:17,333
Greg is vegan! He wouldn't drink blood.
1207
01:08:17,416 --> 01:08:21,250
He's not vegan, Vanessa!
Your brother is an evil creature!
1208
01:08:21,333 --> 01:08:23,250
He's a bloodsucking vampire!
1209
01:08:23,333 --> 01:08:25,958
Stop defending your brother, Vanessa!
1210
01:08:28,750 --> 01:08:30,208
Oh God!
1211
01:08:31,375 --> 01:08:33,916
He fooled me all this time. Help me!
1212
01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:37,666
-Jesus. Hold this.
-Dad, we need to get out of here.
1213
01:08:37,750 --> 01:08:39,625
The door won't hold for much longer.
1214
01:08:39,708 --> 01:08:42,166
What can we do? We don't have weapons!
1215
01:08:42,250 --> 01:08:43,416
-Yes, we do.
-Where?
1216
01:08:43,500 --> 01:08:45,500
They don't work, kiddo!
1217
01:08:45,583 --> 01:08:47,875
-You had them blessed?
-I went to a church!
1218
01:08:47,958 --> 01:08:50,666
-Which church?
-Doesn't matter. It's all the same.
1219
01:08:50,750 --> 01:08:54,375
It does matter. It had to be
a Catholic Apostolic church.
1220
01:08:54,458 --> 01:08:56,250
-With a priest.
-Oh.
1221
01:08:56,333 --> 01:08:58,583
-With a priest?
-Yes!
1222
01:08:58,666 --> 01:09:00,458
Which church was it?
1223
01:09:00,541 --> 01:09:04,166
A cool church. It looked like a mall.
"God is Great".
1224
01:09:04,250 --> 01:09:06,333
You didn't go to "God is Great."
1225
01:09:06,416 --> 01:09:08,583
It's Oliveira's church.
We played together.
1226
01:09:08,666 --> 01:09:11,166
I went to another one, but it was closed.
1227
01:09:11,250 --> 01:09:13,750
-You're so useless. I'll feed you to them.
-Sorry!
1228
01:09:13,833 --> 01:09:15,750
Sorry, my ass! Get your butt over here.
1229
01:09:16,875 --> 01:09:20,583
-Jesus!
-It's not the time. We need to get out!
1230
01:09:20,666 --> 01:09:23,666
-There's no way out!
-I know what to do!
1231
01:09:23,750 --> 01:09:26,625
The book also says that if the arrows
and water are not blessed,
1232
01:09:26,708 --> 01:09:29,083
they could be anointed
with the blood of a virgin.
1233
01:09:30,166 --> 01:09:31,916
Problem solved!
1234
01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:35,500
-Get over here, Carol. Give me your hand.
-Save the world.
1235
01:09:35,583 --> 01:09:38,250
Give me your hand.
I know you don't like blood.
1236
01:09:38,333 --> 01:09:40,958
-Come on, Carol.
-It's not the time for that.
1237
01:09:41,041 --> 01:09:43,250
-Give me your hand.
-I'm not a virgin.
1238
01:09:45,833 --> 01:09:47,250
Calm down, Fernandinho!
1239
01:09:48,041 --> 01:09:50,666
Jesus Lord!
1240
01:09:52,125 --> 01:09:53,291
I'm gonna throw up!
1241
01:09:55,708 --> 01:09:57,125
-It was you.
-No!
1242
01:09:57,208 --> 01:09:59,750
-It was you.
-We were never together.
1243
01:09:59,833 --> 01:10:01,041
Guys, listen.
1244
01:10:01,125 --> 01:10:03,041
I'm a virgin.
1245
01:10:03,125 --> 01:10:04,500
-Wow.
-Really?
1246
01:10:04,583 --> 01:10:07,375
He said that… God, you're a virgin!
1247
01:10:07,458 --> 01:10:10,458
-You lied to me.
-Only you can lie?
1248
01:10:10,541 --> 01:10:13,375
-Never mind. We can use my blood.
-All right.
1249
01:10:13,458 --> 01:10:15,208
-Find a vein.
-You moron!
1250
01:10:15,291 --> 01:10:16,666
It has to be a girl!
1251
01:10:16,750 --> 01:10:19,500
-Man's blood won't work.
-That's right.
1252
01:10:19,583 --> 01:10:21,000
I confessed for nothing!
1253
01:10:21,083 --> 01:10:23,583
A gratuitous exposure. I'll tell everyone.
1254
01:10:23,666 --> 01:10:25,750
-Be careful, dear.
-We will die!
1255
01:10:25,833 --> 01:10:27,000
-Ameba!
-We'll die!
1256
01:10:27,083 --> 01:10:29,708
Let's all hug to die together.
Except Ameba.
1257
01:10:29,791 --> 01:10:31,750
-Wait!
-What?
1258
01:10:31,833 --> 01:10:34,000
There is a virgin among us.
1259
01:10:34,666 --> 01:10:35,583
Monica!
1260
01:10:37,583 --> 01:10:39,083
I thought I was a Leo.
1261
01:10:39,916 --> 01:10:41,833
I don't wanna hear it.
1262
01:10:41,916 --> 01:10:42,833
Hold the door!
1263
01:10:42,916 --> 01:10:45,500
-I'm trying!
-Hold the door!
1264
01:10:54,916 --> 01:10:56,000
Master, I…
1265
01:10:56,791 --> 01:10:58,583
I apologize for the commotion.
1266
01:10:59,166 --> 01:11:01,041
No apologies necessary, Greg.
1267
01:11:01,125 --> 01:11:04,500
You only made everything
a bit more fun around here.
1268
01:11:05,250 --> 01:11:07,250
They'll soon be dead.
1269
01:11:08,916 --> 01:11:11,375
-But they're my family.
-They used to be.
1270
01:11:12,750 --> 01:11:15,583
This is your family now,
1271
01:11:17,083 --> 01:11:18,208
Gregorius.
1272
01:11:22,166 --> 01:11:24,666
-Does it hurt, sweetie?
-Not at all.
1273
01:11:24,750 --> 01:11:26,833
-My girl is so brave!
-She is.
1274
01:11:26,916 --> 01:11:30,375
Listen up, everyone!
Everyone behind me. Ameba, the stakes.
1275
01:11:30,458 --> 01:11:31,708
-Let's go!
-Come on!
1276
01:11:31,791 --> 01:11:33,250
-Go!
-Come on, Ameba!
1277
01:11:33,333 --> 01:11:35,583
-Go!
-Be careful!
1278
01:11:35,666 --> 01:11:38,041
Stay behind me. Ameba, open the door.
1279
01:11:49,333 --> 01:11:51,125
No one can stop me now!
1280
01:11:52,625 --> 01:11:54,583
Get out of the way, bloodsuckers!
1281
01:12:02,375 --> 01:12:03,916
-Hurry up!
-I'm trying.
1282
01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:05,333
Go, honey.
1283
01:12:06,958 --> 01:12:08,583
Come on!
1284
01:12:08,666 --> 01:12:10,083
-Go, Dad!
-Come on!
1285
01:12:13,833 --> 01:12:14,875
Oh God!
1286
01:12:14,958 --> 01:12:15,916
Ameba!
1287
01:12:16,750 --> 01:12:17,666
Please!
1288
01:12:18,166 --> 01:12:19,125
-Carol!
-Go, Carol!
1289
01:12:22,208 --> 01:12:23,833
-Are you okay?
-Yeah.
1290
01:12:25,791 --> 01:12:28,041
-Careful.
-Damn!
1291
01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:42,666
-Come on, guys.
-Go.
1292
01:12:42,750 --> 01:12:44,791
When you get outside, run!
1293
01:12:44,875 --> 01:12:49,500
Honey, protect our baby girl.
Ameba and I will take care of this.
1294
01:12:49,583 --> 01:12:50,958
-It will be fine.
-Okay.
1295
01:12:51,041 --> 01:12:53,291
-You're amazing.
-I am?
1296
01:12:53,375 --> 01:12:55,833
-Better than your brother?
-Much better.
1297
01:12:55,916 --> 01:12:57,708
Take care. Careful, Ameba!
1298
01:12:57,791 --> 01:12:59,541
Be careful, go. Come on, Ameba.
1299
01:13:02,500 --> 01:13:05,125
-Greg?
-Did you miss me?
1300
01:13:05,208 --> 01:13:06,541
No, Greg!
1301
01:13:10,458 --> 01:13:11,750
You got Vanessa into this.
1302
01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:14,375
She was safe, you idiot!
1303
01:13:14,458 --> 01:13:15,916
-Wait, honey.
-Come on, Mom!
1304
01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:18,000
Hold on! Mom's wearing heels!
1305
01:13:18,958 --> 01:13:22,125
-Maybe we can use that van!
-Get in!
1306
01:13:22,208 --> 01:13:24,125
Get in!
1307
01:13:24,208 --> 01:13:26,916
Get in, Carol! Close the door!
1308
01:13:27,000 --> 01:13:30,208
-Where are the keys?
-Hurry up, Vanessa!
1309
01:13:30,291 --> 01:13:31,625
Come on!
1310
01:13:36,958 --> 01:13:39,125
-Who's that?
-That's my mom!
1311
01:13:39,208 --> 01:13:41,625
-I never really liked her.
-She kinda knew.
1312
01:13:47,041 --> 01:13:49,958
You brought all those vampires here!
1313
01:13:50,458 --> 01:13:52,333
What did my sister see in you?
1314
01:13:52,416 --> 01:13:54,416
We don't choose our in-laws.
1315
01:13:58,291 --> 01:13:59,583
But we can get rid of them.
1316
01:13:59,666 --> 01:14:01,083
We are family!
1317
01:14:01,166 --> 01:14:03,708
No, a brother-in-law is not a relative!
1318
01:14:05,416 --> 01:14:07,750
-Fernandinho!
-Run, Ameba!
1319
01:14:24,708 --> 01:14:26,500
He is a real Vasco fan.
1320
01:14:27,916 --> 01:14:29,625
This is for Vasco!
1321
01:14:30,583 --> 01:14:32,666
-Drive, Mom!
-I don't have the keys!
1322
01:14:32,750 --> 01:14:34,083
Start the car!
1323
01:14:34,166 --> 01:14:35,958
How? I don't have the keys!
1324
01:14:36,041 --> 01:14:37,458
Hot-wire the car!
1325
01:14:44,041 --> 01:14:45,958
It's not the cross that keeps us away.
1326
01:14:47,500 --> 01:14:50,208
But the faith you have in it.
1327
01:14:51,041 --> 01:14:53,041
But faith alone
1328
01:14:53,625 --> 01:14:55,875
is not always enough.
1329
01:14:56,500 --> 01:15:00,666
Don't give me that.
You're afraid of this cross.
1330
01:15:00,750 --> 01:15:04,083
That's true,
but I don't need to get near you,
1331
01:15:04,166 --> 01:15:06,875
or anyone, to kill them.
1332
01:15:10,833 --> 01:15:11,833
Did you see that?
1333
01:15:11,916 --> 01:15:14,875
Is he a vampire or a Jedi? Damn!
1334
01:15:22,291 --> 01:15:23,416
Where did she go?
1335
01:15:30,041 --> 01:15:32,250
Look who's here.
1336
01:15:32,333 --> 01:15:34,250
You don't understand.
1337
01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:37,000
You can't resist us.
1338
01:15:38,083 --> 01:15:42,500
We will conquer the Southern lands.
It's only a matter of time.
1339
01:15:47,666 --> 01:15:51,041
Now I'm really screwed.
1340
01:15:53,750 --> 01:15:57,416
Killing you will be delicious.
1341
01:16:14,125 --> 01:16:17,125
He turned into a bat. Oh God.
1342
01:16:24,708 --> 01:16:25,875
Holy crap!
1343
01:16:42,625 --> 01:16:44,416
Ameba!
1344
01:16:46,666 --> 01:16:48,125
Oh my God!
1345
01:17:28,583 --> 01:17:31,083
The ball is yours, Fernandinho!
1346
01:18:07,458 --> 01:18:09,750
I swallowed a vampire!
1347
01:18:12,083 --> 01:18:14,708
I swallowed a vampire. Gross!
1348
01:18:17,875 --> 01:18:19,875
I think that was his ass.
1349
01:18:20,458 --> 01:18:22,625
Man, that was your best goal!
1350
01:18:22,708 --> 01:18:25,041
It's for Vasco, Ameba! Yeah!
1351
01:18:25,125 --> 01:18:28,083
Fernandinho, where am I?
1352
01:18:28,166 --> 01:18:30,291
Homero!
1353
01:18:30,375 --> 01:18:32,791
Are you back to normal?
1354
01:18:33,875 --> 01:18:35,375
Come, sweetie.
1355
01:18:36,041 --> 01:18:37,583
Careful. Stay near me.
1356
01:18:41,291 --> 01:18:42,583
Get me out of here!
1357
01:18:43,416 --> 01:18:45,041
Get me out of here!
1358
01:18:45,125 --> 01:18:47,416
-Who locked me in here?
-Careful, Carol!
1359
01:18:48,375 --> 01:18:49,791
What's going on?
1360
01:18:55,125 --> 01:18:57,333
-They did it!
-Thank God!
1361
01:18:57,416 --> 01:18:59,208
Mom, I'm so happy you're back!
1362
01:18:59,291 --> 01:19:00,416
From where?
1363
01:19:00,500 --> 01:19:01,625
How did I get here?
1364
01:19:01,708 --> 01:19:04,375
Yeah, it's a long story.
I'll tell you later.
1365
01:19:04,458 --> 01:19:06,750
I'll stop by your office, okay?
1366
01:19:06,833 --> 01:19:08,833
Go. The exit is that way.
1367
01:19:09,458 --> 01:19:11,291
-Man…
-Fernando?
1368
01:19:12,416 --> 01:19:13,875
Hold on!
1369
01:19:13,958 --> 01:19:16,125
Hey. Oh God.
1370
01:19:16,208 --> 01:19:17,833
-Jesus, Fernandinho.
-What?
1371
01:19:17,916 --> 01:19:19,625
-What are you doing here?
-What am I…
1372
01:19:19,708 --> 01:19:20,666
Actually…
1373
01:19:21,916 --> 01:19:24,333
-What is this place?
-You are…
1374
01:19:25,083 --> 01:19:28,250
-What?
-Everything okay? Look at the cross.
1375
01:19:28,333 --> 01:19:30,666
-I like it.
-Are you…
1376
01:19:30,750 --> 01:19:34,250
Is everything okay?
Are you back to normal?
1377
01:19:34,333 --> 01:19:36,625
I feel strange. I missed you.
1378
01:19:37,166 --> 01:19:41,000
I really did. You know I like you.
You have a place in my heart.
1379
01:19:41,083 --> 01:19:42,916
The same old pain in the ass.
1380
01:19:43,000 --> 01:19:45,875
I mean it, Fernandinho.
You're the brother I never had.
1381
01:19:45,958 --> 01:19:50,083
-That's too much.
-Can I stay with you for a few days?
1382
01:19:50,166 --> 01:19:53,666
What a pain in the ass.
He could easily go to a hotel.
1383
01:19:53,750 --> 01:19:57,375
-Thank God you're okay.
-I'm okay, honey.
1384
01:19:57,458 --> 01:19:59,291
-Uncle Greg!
-Hi!
1385
01:19:59,375 --> 01:20:01,833
It's so good to have you back!
1386
01:20:01,916 --> 01:20:04,416
Hey, I'm the vampire slayer here!
1387
01:20:04,500 --> 01:20:07,250
I slayed the vampire!
Let me make that very clear!
1388
01:20:07,333 --> 01:20:09,208
Fernandinho, easy.
1389
01:20:09,291 --> 01:20:11,250
-I appreciate it.
-Good.
1390
01:20:11,333 --> 01:20:13,166
Give me a kiss. No, no kisses.
1391
01:20:13,250 --> 01:20:16,166
-My hero!
-I'm a poodle now.
1392
01:20:16,250 --> 01:20:19,500
It's great to see you.
I missed you so much for some reason.
1393
01:20:19,583 --> 01:20:22,166
-Pain in the ass.
-Family is everything.
1394
01:20:22,250 --> 01:20:24,291
-Let's talk for a sec.
-Uncle Greg!
1395
01:20:24,375 --> 01:20:27,875
Who did this tacky decoration in my house?
1396
01:20:27,958 --> 01:20:29,166
You did, Mom.
1397
01:20:29,833 --> 01:20:31,583
Who broke my window?
1398
01:20:31,666 --> 01:20:33,958
That was me. I was saving the world…
1399
01:20:34,041 --> 01:20:36,208
I don't have to explain myself.
1400
01:20:36,291 --> 01:20:37,750
You know what I miss the most?
1401
01:20:37,833 --> 01:20:39,333
-What?
-I miss it so much.
1402
01:20:39,833 --> 01:20:42,958
-Family pile!
-Oh no!
1403
01:20:43,458 --> 01:20:46,166
We talked about this!
1404
01:20:46,833 --> 01:20:49,250
-Crap!
-Tickles!
1405
01:20:51,083 --> 01:20:52,083
Don't tickle me!
1406
01:20:52,583 --> 01:20:53,875
Oh God!
1407
01:21:00,708 --> 01:21:02,500
Friends, that's all for today.
1408
01:21:02,583 --> 01:21:07,041
But before we go,
do you have a message for our viewers?
1409
01:21:07,125 --> 01:21:10,083
They would love to hear from Zico.
1410
01:21:10,166 --> 01:21:12,041
Fernandinho, it's been great.
1411
01:21:12,125 --> 01:21:17,041
I'd like to take this opportunity
to say something really important.
1412
01:21:17,125 --> 01:21:21,500
You were accused of throwing a match
and missing that goal.
1413
01:21:21,583 --> 01:21:23,875
-These things happen.
-Yeah.
1414
01:21:23,958 --> 01:21:28,000
I've witnessed your growth.
I know you're a good man.
1415
01:21:28,083 --> 01:21:30,500
Many people say you threw that match
1416
01:21:31,083 --> 01:21:33,500
and missed an easy goal, but you didn't.
1417
01:21:33,583 --> 01:21:36,000
I trust you completely.
1418
01:21:36,083 --> 01:21:39,250
You were never a backstabber, as they say.
1419
01:21:39,333 --> 01:21:41,541
Keep up the good work, man.
1420
01:21:41,625 --> 01:21:44,250
I wanted to tell everyone
what I think of you.
1421
01:21:47,083 --> 01:21:48,208
Zico…
1422
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:51,500
You have no idea what I go through.
1423
01:21:51,583 --> 01:21:53,583
Man, I needed this.
1424
01:21:53,666 --> 01:21:55,291
They say I'm a backstabber.
1425
01:21:55,375 --> 01:21:58,291
-I'm not.
-You are not.
1426
01:22:00,875 --> 01:22:02,166
Stop recording.
1427
01:22:02,666 --> 01:22:05,916
That was such an amazing interview.
1428
01:22:06,000 --> 01:22:09,125
-You look awful when you cry.
-Yes, you big crybaby.
1429
01:22:09,208 --> 01:22:11,291
That's uncalled for.
1430
01:22:11,375 --> 01:22:12,625
Sorry, Mr. Fernando.
1431
01:22:12,708 --> 01:22:14,125
Why the formality?
1432
01:22:14,208 --> 01:22:15,500
Carol asked me to.
1433
01:22:16,166 --> 01:22:18,083
Hot plate, coming through.
1434
01:22:18,166 --> 01:22:20,333
-Look what we have.
-Honey, that's meat!
1435
01:22:20,416 --> 01:22:22,500
Yes, I made an exception.
1436
01:22:22,583 --> 01:22:23,625
You deserve it.
1437
01:22:25,375 --> 01:22:27,875
-Get over here.
-Don't do that.
1438
01:22:27,958 --> 01:22:31,125
It has to work sometime.
1439
01:22:32,541 --> 01:22:35,500
What a beautiful shirt you're wearing!
1440
01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:38,458
Yeah, I couldn't find
my Ravengoroki T-shirt.
1441
01:22:38,541 --> 01:22:41,833
Really? I wonder where that could be.
1442
01:22:45,458 --> 01:22:46,541
Welcome to the family.
1443
01:22:46,625 --> 01:22:48,041
-So lame, Dad.
-Thanks.
1444
01:22:48,125 --> 01:22:51,958
Oh, come on.
You do the dishes tonight, kiddo.
1445
01:22:53,541 --> 01:22:55,625
Honey, can you answer the door?
1446
01:22:55,708 --> 01:22:57,000
Yes, sure.
1447
01:22:59,833 --> 01:23:01,791
-Hello.
-It's my father-in-law!
1448
01:23:01,875 --> 01:23:03,333
It's been a while!
1449
01:23:03,416 --> 01:23:05,958
Can I stay with you for a few days?
1450
01:23:06,041 --> 01:23:07,416
How's my Vanessa?
1451
01:23:07,500 --> 01:23:09,500
It's like a homeless family.
1452
01:23:09,583 --> 01:23:11,083
She's fine, thank you.
1453
01:23:16,666 --> 01:23:17,583
What the heck?
1454
01:23:23,000 --> 01:23:25,916
The weather in Rio de Janeiro
is not good for me.
1455
01:23:26,000 --> 01:23:27,041
So cold!
1456
01:23:27,125 --> 01:23:29,250
Come in. Make yourself at home.
1457
01:23:29,333 --> 01:23:30,625
Excuse me.
1458
01:23:32,958 --> 01:23:34,458
It's your dad, Vanessa.
1459
01:23:34,541 --> 01:23:37,500
My dad? What a nice surprise!
1460
01:23:37,583 --> 01:23:39,583
Yes, great.
97399
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