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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:35,560 玉蒲团这本书 2 00:00:35,820 --> 00:00:39,060 同金瓶梅可以视为中国禁书的双绝 3 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:40,690 玉蒲团的警世意义 4 00:00:40,950 --> 00:00:42,820 是「淫人妻女笑呵呵 5 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,950 妻女淫人意若何」? 6 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,750 书中主人翁未央生 7 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,070 不惜以马的器官 8 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,670 顶替自己的阳具 9 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,500 最后亦落得一个妻子被千人吻 10 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:53,960 万人淫的下场 11 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,080 但是很奇怪 12 00:00:55,380 --> 00:00:56,370 后世不少男人 13 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,790 依然当未央生是他们的偶像 14 00:00:59,050 --> 00:01:00,760 立志要学他一样的风流 15 00:01:01,010 --> 00:01:02,600 淫尽天下美女… 16 00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:04,870 其中在千门镇有一家暴发户 17 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:06,490 户主西门大官人 18 00:02:06,750 --> 00:02:07,950 单名一个坚字 19 00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:09,950 他就是封了未央生做偶像 20 00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:11,460 苦练「铁属功」 21 00:02:11,670 --> 00:02:12,660 每天早上起来 22 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,790 他就把阳具吊上西瓜来练「壁虎功」 23 00:02:16,090 --> 00:02:18,500 务求练得阳具坚硬如铁 24 00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:27,670 我厉不厉害呀？ 25 00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:29,600 厉害！厉害 26 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,890 不要说我平常刻薄你们 27 00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:36,940 今天我请你们吃西瓜，拿住 28 00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:38,930 吃呀 29 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:43,110 我吃，我吃，好味好味 30 00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:46,360 然后再练「铁袋功」 31 00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:49,530 将绳绑在自己和一只牛的阴囊之上 32 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,240 互相拔河 33 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:54,780 他一发功 34 00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:57,660 往往将整条牛鞭拉断，把牛只变成太监 35 00:02:59,510 --> 00:03:01,120 他又苦练插沙功 36 00:03:01,430 --> 00:03:03,380 将阳具插入沙中写字 37 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,340 希望练成能够令天下美女 38 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,300 欲仙欲死的本领 39 00:03:12,730 --> 00:03:15,850 我的名「西门」签得好不好呀？ 40 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:24,270 他的做人宗旨是「朋友妻，咪走鸡」 41 00:03:24,530 --> 00:03:25,860 他有四个老婆 42 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,280 大婆一早死去，没眼看 43 00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:31,070 另外三个都是他看中别人老婆 44 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:34,120 强抢回来做自己的妾侍的 45 00:03:35,710 --> 00:03:36,790 慕容 46 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,540 你身为天下第一淫棍 47 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,120 亦是画画高手 48 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:41,620 我这幅画 49 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,800 以女性乳房作荷花，阴毛作荷叶 50 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,800 丰臀作小鸟，秀腰作草 51 00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:49,600 一幅以中国画的手法 52 00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:51,600 跟女性的天赋线条美 53 00:03:51,850 --> 00:03:54,090 结合而成的「百花竞艳图」 54 00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:56,640 有没有令你看到兴奋呀？ 55 00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:58,690 「朋友妻，不可窥」 56 00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:01,900 你的宗旨不是「朋友妻，勿放过」吗？ 57 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,780 是！但是坚大哥 58 00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:06,230 你在城中宣布过，谁对你妻儿不敬 59 00:04:06,530 --> 00:04:08,570 就烧死他全家，奸他妈妈 60 00:04:08,870 --> 00:04:10,660 取他的阳具去喂虾 61 00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:13,040 在下！最多不要全家！不要阿妈 62 00:04:13,370 --> 00:04:14,950 没有了那家伙就不能做爸爸 63 00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:16,490 想来都没用 64 00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:19,000 你简直是我的偶像呀 65 00:04:19,210 --> 00:04:21,580 全城人都说你是拍马屁大王 66 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:23,420 专门出卖朋友而生 67 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,630 专门奉承那些有钱人家及江湖大阿哥 68 00:04:26,930 --> 00:04:28,090 我什么都不相信 69 00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:31,930 我简直觉得你是一位正人君子 70 00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:32,880 多谢，多谢 71 00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:34,180 不用多谢 72 00:04:34,390 --> 00:04:36,980 我只不过是在吹牛 73 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:38,890 不要耍小弟 74 00:04:39,150 --> 00:04:41,010 什么？我耍不起你呀？ 75 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,610 我要你帮我口交都可以，白痴 76 00:04:46,110 --> 00:04:47,980 西门坚是千门镇的霸王 77 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,990 喜怒无常，又喜欢用暴力 78 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,950 所以那些刻意奉承他的人 79 00:04:52,290 --> 00:04:53,990 都被他弄到哭笑不得 80 00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:56,490 每天黄昏 81 00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:59,540 西门坚的家仆就会抬出四面铜锣 82 00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:01,910 分别刻上他四个妻妾的名字 83 00:05:02,630 --> 00:05:04,120 他敲那一面铜锣 84 00:05:04,420 --> 00:05:07,760 就表示他要在那一个老婆的房间留宿 85 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,520 但是西门坚有时纵欲过度，想休息一晚 86 00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:25,610 他就会敲那去世大婆的铜锣 87 00:05:25,820 --> 00:05:29,030 那当晚他就会留在自己的房间休息进补 88 00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:36,240 老爷，鸡子炖牛鞭 89 00:05:36,540 --> 00:05:38,700 鹿茸炖海狗鞭、龙虾炖豹鞭 90 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,120 这瞻是三蛇胆老虎鞭 91 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:42,920 味味都是鞭 92 00:05:43,380 --> 00:05:46,170 那就是什么鞭都给我吃尽 93 00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:51,760 你为什么不笑，是不是我说得不好笑 94 00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:58,640 老爷真风趣，小人年纪大反应迟钝 95 00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,470 果然是好奴才 96 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,440 阿龙和阿柔两个人去了哪里？ 97 00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:07,060 他们好像想去放风筝 98 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:07,940 不可以让他们去 99 00:06:08,110 --> 00:06:10,400 阿爹… 100 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,730 我们去放风筝 101 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:16,660 不准去 102 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,820 阿爹你轻功越来越厉害 103 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,830 那还用说 104 00:06:21,170 --> 00:06:22,660 但是你踏着哥哥 105 00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:28,620 你没事嘛 106 00:06:29,010 --> 00:06:31,380 你为何站在我脚下，你怎样呀 107 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,210 我九代单传不知做错什么事？ 108 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:34,510 生了这白痴 109 00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:35,840 阿哥一生下来就这样 110 00:06:36,060 --> 00:06:37,050 你还敢讲 111 00:06:37,310 --> 00:06:40,140 我已叫你不要外出，你还带他到处跑 112 00:06:40,350 --> 00:06:41,840 我只是叫他去放风筝 113 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,390 他整天呆在家里很闷的 114 00:06:43,650 --> 00:06:45,930 我西门世家，书香世代 115 00:06:46,230 --> 00:06:47,020 你是女儿家 116 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,180 怎可以整天在外抛头露面 117 00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:51,100 万一遇上狂蜂浪蝶出事 118 00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:52,730 你教我怎有面目见人 119 00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:54,190 不要以为扮成男孩子就可以 120 00:06:54,410 --> 00:06:55,950 还有，我告诉你 121 00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:58,070 现在世风日下，人心难测 122 00:06:58,330 --> 00:06:59,990 现今有很多色狼、变态佬 123 00:07:00,290 --> 00:07:02,450 最喜欢非礼未成年少男 124 00:07:02,710 --> 00:07:05,330 阿爹，你的口水还要不要 125 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:08,630 我不管，我告诉你以后不许到处闯 126 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,040 快点跟哥哥一起回房间 127 00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:20,180 哥哥升高些，再升高些 128 00:07:21,770 --> 00:07:26,510 太棒了，太棒了，再高些 129 00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:29,560 用力些，用力些 130 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:40,370 继续，继续高些 131 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,160 放手呀… 132 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,990 你拉着我命根呀 133 00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:53,670 差点让你废了我武功 134 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,550 原来你偷窥人敦伦 135 00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:07,550 夫妻相好才为之敦伦 136 00:08:07,860 --> 00:08:10,940 像他们幕天席地，苟且偷欢 137 00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:12,900 就称之为野合 138 00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:23,320 你都挺有学问 139 00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:24,370 还用说 140 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:25,750 你叫这东西做什么 141 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,000 让我告诉你 142 00:08:27,290 --> 00:08:28,370 小孩子叫「暗睹」 143 00:08:28,710 --> 00:08:29,370 大些则叫「崩周」 144 00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,040 再大则称之为「鸠」 145 00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:34,050 诗经有云：「关关锥鸠，在河之洲 146 00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:35,880 窈窕淑女，君子好逑」 147 00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:37,040 就是这个「鸠」字 148 00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:39,720 文雅些则称做玉尘，又称为守阳 149 00:08:39,970 --> 00:08:41,430 女性那儿，一般称为玉门 150 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:42,300 或者花心 151 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,510 道家称作炉鼎 152 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,470 那俗些怎讲 153 00:08:46,810 --> 00:08:48,430 我们读书人是不会说的 154 00:08:48,650 --> 00:08:49,930 如果要知道正确发音 155 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,600 那你将门字和西字急读就行了 156 00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:54,650 西、门西… 157 00:08:54,990 --> 00:08:55,770 未请教大名 158 00:08:56,030 --> 00:08:58,110 在下花道乃一介书生 159 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,320 正想往邻镇找宿儒梅花先生 160 00:09:00,660 --> 00:09:01,650 拜在他门下 161 00:09:01,910 --> 00:09:04,030 学习齐家治国之道 162 00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:06,080 你就好啦，可以到处去求学 163 00:09:06,290 --> 00:09:06,870 你也可以的 164 00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:08,990 可惜我是女孩子 165 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,830 我是女孩子众多家庭里的一个小男生 166 00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:12,660 我哥哥又是白痴 167 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,880 若我又去读书，怎么行呀 168 00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:16,090 这样实在太可惜 169 00:09:16,380 --> 00:09:17,870 贤弟我们一见如故 170 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,630 如果可以一起寒窗苦读 171 00:09:19,970 --> 00:09:21,300 夜来都有一个良伴 172 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,180 而且学成之后 173 00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,420 我立志要猎尽天下艳色 174 00:09:25,770 --> 00:09:28,350 贤弟亦可作为我之玩伴呀 175 00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:29,640 你读书是为了识女孩子？ 176 00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:31,310 书中自有颜如玉 177 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,980 求功名无非为求美女垂青 178 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,520 你为人都几坏 179 00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:38,520 人不风流枉少年呀 180 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,610 日已西斜 181 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,200 我还要赶路 182 00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:45,280 如果你有兴趣的话，就到邻镇找我 183 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,620 再见 184 00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:50,110 肚子饿啦，回去吧 185 00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:51,460 好啦，回去啦 186 00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:53,210 你认为我去读书好吗？ 187 00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:54,250 好呀，好呀 188 00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:55,290 你只懂说好 189 00:09:55,590 --> 00:09:56,550 好呀，好呀 190 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:57,550 你讲句不好可不可以？ 191 00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:58,750 好呀，好呀 192 00:09:59,050 --> 00:10:00,010 跟你讲都没用 193 00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:04,130 衰女，真是不听教 194 00:10:04,430 --> 00:10:06,090 玩到这么晚还不回家？ 195 00:10:06,310 --> 00:10:07,420 人来 196 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,010 召集所有人 197 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,650 找阿柔和阿龙回来 198 00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:16,350 屡说不听，当老子死了 199 00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:20,480 老爷为什么生气？ 200 00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:22,730 正好 201 00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:26,160 我被女儿气到怒火中烧 202 00:10:28,290 --> 00:10:30,120 来干一次 203 00:10:46,810 --> 00:10:48,140 来吧 204 00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:56,980 大力点啦 205 00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:20,830 蹲下 206 00:11:21,090 --> 00:11:22,330 含着它 207 00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:36,480 阿爹，阿爹 208 00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:41,110 阿爹，我回来了，阿爹 209 00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:44,400 阿爹，我回来啦 210 00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:51,200 为什么不听我说话 211 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,240 整天不在家 212 00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,540 我和哥哥去放风筝 213 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,450 你是女儿家 214 00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:01,840 怎可以整天不在家 215 00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:03,460 我扮男孩子嘛 216 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,840 古有花木兰，代父从军 217 00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:07,630 名垂千古 218 00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,930 古有皇太后，我就听过 219 00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,140 歌也有得唱 220 00:12:12,390 --> 00:12:14,760 古有皇太后 221 00:12:15,190 --> 00:12:17,300 担心没男儿泡 222 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,520 良医献妙药 223 00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:21,230 太医干皇后 224 00:12:21,570 --> 00:12:23,230 千辛与万苦 225 00:12:23,530 --> 00:12:25,360 干完解困忧 226 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,450 怎知后来生花柳 227 00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:33,070 遗落民间得传流 228 00:12:33,370 --> 00:12:36,290 太棒了 229 00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:39,290 阿爹你别唱咸歌 230 00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:41,450 我真的很想念书，行不行？ 231 00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:42,830 不行 232 00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:44,380 真是没有商量 233 00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:47,470 女儿家，那有人像你这样 234 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,630 做个黄花闺女，应该三步不出闺门 235 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,340 在家做针线、绣花 236 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:57,480 弹琴、吹箫、玩鸟，这样才像女儿家 237 00:12:57,730 --> 00:13:02,140 整天想着…读书 238 00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:07,150 爹，你没事吧？ 239 00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:11,620 我没事，被你差点儿气死 240 00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:14,950 返回房里，返回房里 241 00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:20,540 三娘 242 00:13:21,130 --> 00:13:22,670 我知你勤力 243 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,540 不过也不用含着不放 244 00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:34,880 娘亲，女儿很想出去见见世面 245 00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:36,300 向梅花先生求学 246 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:37,720 做个有学识的人 247 00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:39,850 不想像二娘、三娘、四娘般 248 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:42,140 一生一世做男人的奴隶 249 00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:56,080 古语有云：女子无才便是德 250 00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:59,070 根本就是男人作出来愚弄女人的 251 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,970 如果不读书，就要一生都听男人的话 252 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,560 他叫我们走就走，站就站 253 00:14:21,810 --> 00:14:24,060 打横就打横，打直就打直 254 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:36,070 娘亲请恕女儿不孝，要离家出走 255 00:14:36,330 --> 00:14:38,160 如果你真的在天有灵的话 256 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,540 就保佑女儿平安 257 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:01,810 都是走后门好点 258 00:15:06,110 --> 00:15:08,270 小姐，你去哪里 259 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,030 现在已经很晚了 260 00:15:14,450 --> 00:15:17,320 阿爹叫我练轻功 261 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,280 那么晚你们在这干啥？ 262 00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:20,530 想偷窥？ 263 00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:21,950 不敢，不敢… 264 00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:22,830 还不回去睡觉 265 00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,710 信不信我告诉阿爹 266 00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:29,620 一、二、三阿爹… 267 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,010 干嘛？ 268 00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:34,670 阿爹，你的轻功真棒 269 00:15:34,930 --> 00:15:37,340 我们一班人在偷看你很久 270 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,090 跟我回去 271 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,180 西门家历代祖先在上 272 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:44,640 不肖子孙西门坚 273 00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,810 教女无方，离家出走 274 00:15:47,070 --> 00:15:48,980 跑去外边抛头露面 275 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,780 如果被外边的人闲言闲语 276 00:15:52,030 --> 00:15:54,110 你教我怎办？ 277 00:15:54,410 --> 00:15:56,490 烧他全家，打他妈妈 278 00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:59,780 说的是，我们西门家 279 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,160 怎会怕别人说是非 280 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,030 今天我随意的拜拜你们 281 00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:05,500 就是要告诉你们 282 00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:07,210 我西门坚已经决定了 283 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,290 让我的女儿出去读书 284 00:16:09,590 --> 00:16:10,620 多谢阿爹 285 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,960 你别高兴得那么早 286 00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:15,880 你答应我一件事才让你走 287 00:16:16,140 --> 00:16:17,840 我答应，我答应 288 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,140 留下三个，其他同我出去玩手淫 289 00:16:22,350 --> 00:16:23,430 出去 290 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:37,200 不是要给揍一顿才可走吧 291 00:16:37,410 --> 00:16:39,440 三娘，出来 292 00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:45,080 为什么我们家族那么有钱？ 293 00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:46,450 其实我们在武林中 294 00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:49,630 是专门铸造暗器和兵器的世家 295 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,330 你看这件东西 296 00:16:51,550 --> 00:16:53,580 是阿爹花了三年的精心设计 297 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:55,340 叫做贞操宝甲 298 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,840 贞操宝甲 299 00:16:57,180 --> 00:16:59,390 穿着了这件宝甲上身 300 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,260 只有我这把钥匙才能打开 301 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,220 如果任何男人想侵犯你的话 302 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,220 这对护胸刀 303 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:11,010 和狗头铡里面的机关便会自动打开 304 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:14,020 任何男人也不可以占你便宜 305 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,060 你过来捏她的胸脯 306 00:17:18,990 --> 00:17:20,320 去吧 307 00:17:27,210 --> 00:17:28,540 到你 308 00:17:29,170 --> 00:17:30,620 摸她的屁股去吧 309 00:17:32,090 --> 00:17:33,370 去吧 310 00:17:39,010 --> 00:17:40,840 来福，轮到你 311 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,210 插她 312 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,590 小人不敢 313 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,140 我给胆你 314 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:46,600 不敢不敢 315 00:17:46,890 --> 00:17:47,970 真没用 316 00:17:48,230 --> 00:17:50,940 小人真系「没用」了很久 317 00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:52,430 让我来 318 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,400 如果有人想直捣黄龙，探你桃花洞的话 319 00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:07,160 狗头铡就会把他咬成粉碎 320 00:18:07,370 --> 00:18:09,580 只要你肯穿着阿爹这件宝甲 321 00:18:09,790 --> 00:18:11,950 阿爹就放心你去读书了 322 00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:21,590 关关锥鸠，在河之州 323 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:25,720 关关锥鸠，在河之州 324 00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:29,850 窈窕淑女，君子好述 325 00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:34,690 窈窕淑女，君子好述 326 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,150 老师……不关我的事 327 00:18:41,410 --> 00:18:42,690 还说不关你的事 328 00:18:42,950 --> 00:18:45,530 你推荐入学那个西门柔来了 329 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,860 我是西门柔，大家好 330 00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:54,880 给次机会我吧，老师 331 00:18:58,340 --> 00:19:01,170 老师，还给我吧，很贵的 332 00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:06,050 这本辞典，不懂时可查看 333 00:19:06,350 --> 00:19:07,590 这个是磨墨的 334 00:19:07,770 --> 00:19:09,600 你们放学后通常做什么 335 00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:12,390 都是吟诗作对、弹琴斗剑 336 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:13,300 斗剑 337 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,480 是呀，每天都斗的 338 00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:17,180 现在后山都在斗呀 339 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,220 要不要去看看 340 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:19,730 好 341 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,690 其实斗剑好简单，是我的强项 342 00:19:28,410 --> 00:19:31,250 他们有什么了不起，我一定会赢他们 343 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,000 给钱，你跟我杨巨长那有得斗 344 00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:46,880 还有那个敢来 345 00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:48,260 我来 346 00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:52,180 你？嘿，鸡巴下败将 347 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:53,470 我告诉你 348 00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:55,260 我储了几个月才来 349 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:56,680 我不相信赢不到你 350 00:19:56,940 --> 00:19:58,850 走着瞧 351 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,610 你干什么弄那么久 352 00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,160 你先照顾自己吧 353 00:20:08,580 --> 00:20:10,070 加油… 354 00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:13,370 加油… 355 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,620 滴湿脚？ 356 00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:21,170 你拉小便还是什么？ 357 00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:24,960 跟我斗？除非你是童子身 358 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,970 那个新学生好像小孩子一样 359 00:20:27,220 --> 00:20:28,510 一定是童子 360 00:20:29,430 --> 00:20:31,670 好，过去玩弄下他 361 00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:35,600 你是不是童子身 362 00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:37,510 是不是好兄弟 363 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:38,850 是，是 364 00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,640 是兄弟就来帮我啦 365 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,900 就一次也不行？ 366 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:43,770 那怎样？ 367 00:20:44,030 --> 00:20:45,310 不玩，我不玩 368 00:20:47,530 --> 00:20:49,820 我都说不玩 369 00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:51,330 他不愿意便不要逼他 370 00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:53,070 关你什么事？ 371 00:20:53,790 --> 00:20:55,250 这次真的是关我的事 372 00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:01,830 你没事吧？ 373 00:21:02,210 --> 00:21:05,080 我没事，不过我的下体就大件事了 374 00:21:05,380 --> 00:21:07,000 快点扶我回去擦止痛药 375 00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:08,460 好吧 376 00:21:09,050 --> 00:21:10,640 痛死人了，快点 377 00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:12,800 我正在找，你别吵吧 378 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,100 找那么久，究竟找到没有？ 379 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:21,470 你真难看 380 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,310 很难看吗，你不是一样的吗？ 381 00:21:30,530 --> 00:21:32,650 你不用这样夸张？ 382 00:24:05,770 --> 00:24:07,390 原来她女扮男 383 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,830 不好吧，都是找东西试试先 384 00:24:36,930 --> 00:24:38,590 怎…怎会这样的？ 385 00:24:41,890 --> 00:24:45,310 好厉害呀，怪不得他们都伤了 386 00:24:45,690 --> 00:24:48,150 这个机关这么厉害都是不要搅她了 387 00:24:48,650 --> 00:24:51,390 况且窃玉偷香也不是正人君子所为 388 00:24:51,900 --> 00:24:53,640 还是自己搅定算了 389 00:25:13,970 --> 00:25:15,460 你干什么？ 390 00:25:15,930 --> 00:25:18,880 夹…着…了 391 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,630 花道他下体伤得好重呀 392 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:26,590 他会不会变太监呀？ 393 00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:28,140 他虽然自作自受 394 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:31,690 但你女扮男装来读书也不对 395 00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:34,820 这样啦，你负责带他去求医 396 00:25:35,110 --> 00:25:36,100 有医生可以治好他吗？ 397 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,310 九宫山极乐观有一位极乐道人 398 00:25:38,530 --> 00:25:41,570 懂得采阴补阳，一切邪门之法都懂 399 00:25:41,830 --> 00:25:44,240 你快点带他去，但他收费很高呀 400 00:25:44,460 --> 00:25:45,570 没问题，我多少钱都肯给 401 00:25:45,870 --> 00:25:47,700 那你快点带他去了 402 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,240 他现在只剩下这么小 403 00:25:49,540 --> 00:25:51,660 好容易让小鸟啄走呀 404 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:53,370 那里有好多鸟呀 405 00:25:55,010 --> 00:25:56,670 轿夫，还要走多远呀？ 406 00:25:56,930 --> 00:25:58,460 走过这个山头就到了 407 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:00,750 你多忍半天啦，很快到了 408 00:26:01,010 --> 00:26:01,670 我那命根 409 00:26:01,890 --> 00:26:04,010 已给你的护甲铡到像椰菜花形了 410 00:26:04,310 --> 00:26:05,840 我的终身幸福都给你破坏了 411 00:26:06,190 --> 00:26:07,390 谁叫你这样好色呀 412 00:26:07,940 --> 00:26:09,800 等等我 413 00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:12,020 等我呀 414 00:26:15,900 --> 00:26:20,150 痛死我了 415 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,160 大夫，怎么样呀？ 416 00:26:30,710 --> 00:26:33,830 你那话儿一条变了廿多条，救回都没用 417 00:26:34,090 --> 00:26:34,950 如果将你那些烂肉割了下来 418 00:26:35,300 --> 00:26:36,380 你就是找只猫做你老婆 419 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,050 它都嫌你太短小 420 00:26:38,260 --> 00:26:38,840 那怎么办呀？ 421 00:26:39,090 --> 00:26:40,130 你也不用这么慌张 422 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:42,630 现在有三个方法 423 00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:45,390 第一就是将它割下来然后做太监 424 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:46,850 又或者做男妓赚钱去 425 00:26:47,180 --> 00:26:48,970 让男人玩弄，还可以赚钱呀 426 00:26:49,230 --> 00:26:50,140 不好呀 427 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,510 没问题，还有第二个方法 428 00:26:52,820 --> 00:26:55,730 就是索性挖深点做女人 429 00:26:55,980 --> 00:26:57,270 那时候还有很多男人疼 430 00:26:57,530 --> 00:26:58,310 做女人要生孩子，我不要 431 00:26:58,570 --> 00:27:00,940 第三个就是换一条新的阳具 432 00:27:01,910 --> 00:27:03,610 谁愿意跟他换呢？ 433 00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:04,820 你不知道 434 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:09,320 十年前我师兄肥郑就跟未央生换了马鞭 435 00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:11,250 发发声都不知道多威风 436 00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:14,490 不管她是黄花闺女还是淫娃荡妇 437 00:27:14,750 --> 00:27:18,250 都会对他投怀送抱享尽人间艳福 438 00:27:18,590 --> 00:27:19,750 令不少人羡慕 439 00:27:20,090 --> 00:27:23,510 但马鞭还是马鞭，搅多了就会精尽人亡 440 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:26,000 于是我就日思夜想，想了三年 441 00:27:26,350 --> 00:27:27,380 终于被我想通了 442 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,840 我就发明了机关鞭 443 00:27:30,270 --> 00:27:32,480 机关鞭是什么东西呀？ 444 00:27:34,690 --> 00:27:38,350 你听我说，这条机关鞭可了不起 445 00:27:38,690 --> 00:27:41,360 它有三十六个机关，可以伸长 446 00:27:41,530 --> 00:27:42,520 缩短 447 00:27:42,780 --> 00:27:45,020 再伸长，开叉 448 00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:46,570 旋转 449 00:27:46,870 --> 00:27:48,080 会旋转呀 450 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,450 洒水 451 00:27:51,330 --> 00:27:54,370 喷烟 452 00:27:56,670 --> 00:27:58,130 你说的我都明白了 453 00:27:58,460 --> 00:28:00,250 但喷烟有什么用途呢 454 00:28:00,470 --> 00:28:05,210 它可以增加诗情画意，还有神秘感 455 00:28:05,430 --> 00:28:06,760 那有没有感觉呢 456 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,500 这就要看我的手艺了 457 00:28:09,810 --> 00:28:11,220 不然给条鞭你自己装上都可以了 458 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:12,350 那要多少钱 459 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:13,470 伍千而 460 00:28:13,730 --> 00:28:15,690 伍千雨？那我可真要给你一根鞭你了 461 00:28:15,980 --> 00:28:16,560 难道不用钱吗？ 462 00:28:16,940 --> 00:28:17,770 不是，难道做那鞭不用钱吗？ 463 00:28:18,110 --> 00:28:18,890 用不着这个价呀 464 00:28:19,230 --> 00:28:19,770 你以为这根鞭不用本钱吗？ 465 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,070 你根本是抢钱 466 00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:23,150 你们不要吵呀 467 00:28:23,450 --> 00:28:24,860 伍千两吗？我帮你给 468 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:26,200 你？ 469 00:28:28,870 --> 00:28:30,200 小兄弟，你够爽 470 00:28:30,450 --> 00:28:32,570 我买小送大，再送些鞭毛给你 471 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,040 留给你自己刷牙啦 472 00:28:34,290 --> 00:28:35,030 不要算了 473 00:28:39,250 --> 00:28:40,040 麻烦你先出去 474 00:28:40,340 --> 00:28:41,420 不用你说我也会自己出去 475 00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:43,500 你在外面等我呀 476 00:28:44,380 --> 00:28:48,590 你快点呀，钱都收了，还不快点做 477 00:28:51,890 --> 00:28:53,180 这只不过是书一本 478 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:54,590 你用不着这样恭敬呀 479 00:28:54,940 --> 00:28:57,100 你不懂了，这本玉女心经 480 00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:58,690 合天地之造化 481 00:28:58,900 --> 00:29:02,860 除了所有医学，阴阳之道外，最后一章 482 00:29:03,150 --> 00:29:04,440 就是采阴补阳之术 483 00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:06,860 练成之后可以幻化男女 484 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,160 任意采男性元阳和女性元阴 485 00:29:10,370 --> 00:29:14,110 还可以延年百岁呀 486 00:29:14,330 --> 00:29:16,040 既然这么厉害你为什么不练？ 487 00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:17,990 我这个样子 488 00:29:18,210 --> 00:29:21,420 变了女人定会被人笑样子丑 489 00:29:21,670 --> 00:29:23,130 你都有自知之明，快动手啦 490 00:29:23,380 --> 00:29:24,960 你这么啰嗦，我打你的 491 00:29:27,970 --> 00:29:29,960 痛死我呀… 492 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:55,150 来者何人？ 493 00:29:55,500 --> 00:29:56,360 幻姬求见道长 494 00:29:56,620 --> 00:29:59,290 原来是幻姬女施主，请到精舍稍候 495 00:29:59,460 --> 00:30:00,620 请 496 00:30:13,270 --> 00:30:14,470 这双眼睛 497 00:30:14,770 --> 00:30:17,130 为什么我总觉得它很吸引我呢？ 498 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:20,800 我有种感觉 499 00:30:21,060 --> 00:30:24,150 这双眼睛好像和我有千丝万缕的关系 500 00:30:39,500 --> 00:30:42,210 道长，为什么我现在还没有感觉？ 501 00:30:42,420 --> 00:30:45,880 快有了，让我缝完这儿就行了 502 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:47,960 对不起 503 00:30:48,220 --> 00:30:48,830 不关我事呀 504 00:30:49,050 --> 00:30:50,340 我知道 505 00:31:01,100 --> 00:31:03,600 道长，我有反应了，有反应了 506 00:31:06,860 --> 00:31:09,350 道长，糟糕了，停不了 507 00:31:09,610 --> 00:31:11,070 我停不了呀 508 00:31:12,070 --> 00:31:13,940 道长，你没事呀？ 509 00:31:14,330 --> 00:31:15,820 好劲呀 510 00:31:16,290 --> 00:31:18,150 牙都差点给你弄掉了 511 00:31:18,410 --> 00:31:20,200 道长，我是幻姬 512 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,120 幻姬姑娘，我已看了你封信 513 00:31:23,460 --> 00:31:24,830 我知道你来意 514 00:31:25,170 --> 00:31:26,880 那请道长快帮小女子施术啦 515 00:31:27,130 --> 00:31:28,620 道长，搅定没有呀 516 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:29,830 这样麻烦 517 00:31:30,340 --> 00:31:31,130 抬他进去 518 00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:32,460 是 519 00:31:34,010 --> 00:31:36,130 道长，怎么样停呀？ 520 00:31:36,470 --> 00:31:38,430 你快帮我弄停它呀 521 00:31:40,100 --> 00:31:42,810 女施主，你要我帮你改容易貌 522 00:31:43,110 --> 00:31:44,640 难道你相貌奇丑？ 523 00:31:44,860 --> 00:31:47,810 非也，我是有不得已的苦衷 524 00:31:48,070 --> 00:31:49,400 是什么苦衷？ 525 00:31:49,650 --> 00:31:51,060 道长无需过问 526 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:54,030 只要道长帮小女子改容易貌 527 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,190 我这个身体就属于道长你的了 528 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:16,630 小兄弟 529 00:32:16,890 --> 00:32:19,800 麻烦你通传，铁中棠求见极乐道人 530 00:32:20,850 --> 00:32:22,560 我不是极乐观的人 531 00:32:22,850 --> 00:32:24,680 那你有没有看见有些什么人进去呢？ 532 00:32:24,940 --> 00:32:26,970 我刚才看见有个女人入去了 533 00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:36,560 大功告成，只有我才能搅定呀 534 00:32:36,740 --> 00:32:38,110 幻姬姑娘，从现在开始 535 00:32:38,450 --> 00:32:39,160 除我之外 536 00:32:39,450 --> 00:32:41,660 天下间再没有人知道你是什么样子了 537 00:32:41,910 --> 00:32:42,870 谢谢道长 538 00:32:43,170 --> 00:32:45,370 是你报答我的时候了，你看 539 00:32:46,380 --> 00:32:48,410 这张椅型如蝎子，有什么用呢？ 540 00:32:48,670 --> 00:32:52,790 这张叫做极乐椅，只要把女人放上去 541 00:32:53,130 --> 00:32:56,220 就可以任意玩乐，任何花样都可以玩了 542 00:32:56,510 --> 00:32:58,130 贱妾愿意服侍道长 543 00:32:58,390 --> 00:33:00,380 但贱妾还有一个小请求 544 00:33:01,390 --> 00:33:02,300 是什么呢？ 545 00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:05,680 我知道长有一本不传之秘玉女心经 546 00:33:06,060 --> 00:33:08,520 我很想开开眼界 547 00:33:08,940 --> 00:33:09,980 有什么好看呀 548 00:33:10,570 --> 00:33:13,230 道长，给我看看啦 549 00:33:13,490 --> 00:33:16,730 我会加倍侍候你呀，你想不想尝尝呢？ 550 00:33:16,990 --> 00:33:18,230 不是那么方便的 551 00:33:18,530 --> 00:33:21,070 你不是很渴望得到我的身体吗？ 552 00:33:21,370 --> 00:33:25,080 让我们一起到极乐世界啦 553 00:33:27,460 --> 00:33:30,080 你看看好啦 554 00:33:30,340 --> 00:33:31,870 道长，你放心啦 555 00:33:32,170 --> 00:33:37,260 小女子只是借阅一会儿，很快会归还了 556 00:33:41,010 --> 00:33:42,170 糟糕，雷电交叉 557 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:43,800 一定又是妖孽出来作恶了 558 00:34:42,990 --> 00:34:44,110 我们来迟一步 559 00:34:44,330 --> 00:34:46,440 极乐道人已让她吸尽元阳而死 560 00:34:46,750 --> 00:34:47,990 他给谁吸了元阳呀？ 561 00:34:48,290 --> 00:34:49,660 是妖道幻姬 562 00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:51,490 救命呀 563 00:34:52,250 --> 00:34:53,040 你又搅什么鬼呀？ 564 00:34:53,300 --> 00:34:55,460 你快帮我弄停它才说 565 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:56,460 不要啰啰嗦嗦了 566 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,040 快点帮我搅停它呀 567 00:34:58,340 --> 00:35:00,130 再迟就糟糕了，快点呀 568 00:35:03,470 --> 00:35:06,430 我给它转到我晕头脑涨，快扶着我呀 569 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:07,590 这是什么？ 570 00:35:07,850 --> 00:35:09,260 是玉女心经呀 571 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:10,640 一定是幻姬留下 572 00:35:10,900 --> 00:35:11,600 没了一半的 573 00:35:11,980 --> 00:35:14,850 这是宝物，不要让人看见 574 00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:21,310 极乐道人他… 575 00:35:21,950 --> 00:35:24,530 原来妖道幻姬找极乐道人帮她易容 576 00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:26,950 现在都不知道她变了什么模样了 577 00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:29,360 要抓她更是难上加难了 578 00:35:29,580 --> 00:35:30,410 是呀 579 00:35:30,670 --> 00:35:33,280 我刚才听到他们在这干得非常大声 580 00:35:33,590 --> 00:35:35,700 幻姬是女妖道，修练采阴补阳之法 581 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:37,290 专采男人元阳 582 00:35:38,300 --> 00:35:40,330 已害死了几百人了 583 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:41,830 被人害死的人 584 00:35:42,090 --> 00:35:43,920 全身的精元都会给她吸干 585 00:35:44,180 --> 00:35:45,760 她全靠吸取别人的精元 586 00:35:46,060 --> 00:35:47,640 来增加自己的妖术 587 00:35:47,970 --> 00:35:50,090 我奉命追捕她，由北至南 588 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,430 追了七个省，都让她逃脱 589 00:35:52,690 --> 00:35:53,640 我知道她是想得到 590 00:35:54,020 --> 00:35:55,850 极乐观的一本玉女心经 591 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:57,850 练成采阴补阳之法 592 00:35:58,110 --> 00:36:00,230 当她的妖术到了最高境界 593 00:36:00,570 --> 00:36:03,530 变男变女就可随心所欲了 594 00:36:03,820 --> 00:36:05,150 有没有这么恐怖呀？ 595 00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:08,700 那我们应该怎样呢？ 596 00:36:08,910 --> 00:36:11,280 我怕她练成之后，妖术会更加厉害 597 00:36:11,870 --> 00:36:14,460 那时候有更多无辜的人受害 598 00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,030 小兄弟，刚才你有没有看见 599 00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:18,710 她易容后的样子是怎样呢？ 600 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,750 没有我认得她双眼 601 00:36:20,970 --> 00:36:22,420 如果你们有幻姬的消息 602 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,620 就到本县的衙门通知我 603 00:36:24,890 --> 00:36:27,750 我猜她暂时还会在南方继续作恶 604 00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:30,720 我会留在本镇一段时间 605 00:36:30,930 --> 00:36:33,720 好，我有消息就第一时间通知你，大哥 606 00:36:34,020 --> 00:36:35,350 叫我铁中棠 607 00:36:36,020 --> 00:36:37,480 我走了 608 00:36:41,110 --> 00:36:42,400 这臭捕快，装模作样 609 00:36:42,650 --> 00:36:45,070 这样才像个男子汉嘛，难道像你好吗？ 610 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:48,610 撕开的那一半，一定是幻姬拿走了 611 00:36:48,830 --> 00:36:52,660 你不要小看它，这一半也是宝呀 612 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,410 留着它将来一定有用的 613 00:36:55,790 --> 00:36:57,280 你好些没有？ 614 00:36:57,500 --> 00:36:59,120 好点了，走啦 615 00:36:59,420 --> 00:37:00,500 你又想占便宜 616 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:03,750 为什么你走路这个样子呀？ 617 00:37:03,970 --> 00:37:06,550 我还有点晕呀，你不要刺激我了 618 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,260 到我家养好伤才回老师那里啦 619 00:37:09,510 --> 00:37:10,750 前面的新娘子很漂亮呀 620 00:37:11,020 --> 00:37:12,880 是吗？快去看看 621 00:37:22,820 --> 00:37:24,280 福伯，是谁成亲？ 622 00:37:24,570 --> 00:37:26,440 你大哥呀 623 00:37:26,740 --> 00:37:28,650 山脚李大傻没田租交 624 00:37:28,870 --> 00:37:31,700 你爹就迫他女儿小翠嫁给你的傻大哥了 625 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:33,530 回家看看去啦 626 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:35,700 我们也回去凑热闹了 627 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,790 有没有搅错，新娘子到现在还没有来 628 00:37:44,220 --> 00:37:46,250 老爷，她快来了 629 00:37:46,550 --> 00:37:50,840 新娘子到了… 630 00:37:51,140 --> 00:37:55,130 落地开花，富贵荣华，连生贵子 631 00:38:04,530 --> 00:38:06,310 坐在中间那个就是你爹 632 00:38:06,650 --> 00:38:07,360 蛮有性格呀 633 00:38:07,610 --> 00:38:09,320 老爷，新娘子到了 634 00:38:25,510 --> 00:38:26,920 这位姑娘，蛮漂亮呀 635 00:38:27,260 --> 00:38:29,040 是呀… 636 00:38:29,390 --> 00:38:32,130 我太笨了，全便宜了臭小子 637 00:38:49,610 --> 00:38:50,850 来，你们可以拜堂了 638 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:52,980 放下，走开 639 00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:53,940 阿爹 640 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,030 阿爹，我回来了 641 00:38:56,290 --> 00:38:57,240 你肯回来了吗？ 642 00:38:57,500 --> 00:38:58,950 这个是我同窗好友花道 643 00:38:59,420 --> 00:39:00,660 世伯，你好… 644 00:39:01,210 --> 00:39:02,420 小子 645 00:39:03,090 --> 00:39:05,450 看你不像是老实人呀？ 646 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:09,040 老爷，先拜堂吧，误了吉时就不好了 647 00:39:09,300 --> 00:39:10,340 说得对 648 00:39:10,720 --> 00:39:11,830 来，拜堂 649 00:39:12,100 --> 00:39:14,210 拜堂… 650 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,550 老爷，不是你呀 651 00:39:18,770 --> 00:39:21,010 是少爷呀 652 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,140 你捡到便宜了 653 00:40:25,460 --> 00:40:26,370 臭小子 654 00:40:26,670 --> 00:40:27,910 西门家要开枝散叶 655 00:40:28,210 --> 00:40:30,920 儿孙满堂的责任全靠你了 656 00:40:32,090 --> 00:40:33,380 你快进去洞房 657 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,220 阿爹，我不会洞房呀 658 00:40:35,550 --> 00:40:36,960 你这臭小子什么都不会 659 00:40:37,260 --> 00:40:38,420 难道要老爹帮你洞房吗？ 660 00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:39,920 好呀… 661 00:40:40,350 --> 00:40:43,090 你以为老爹不想吗？不过… 662 00:40:43,350 --> 00:40:45,090 你快进去呀 663 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:46,140 老爷 664 00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,560 你还不快回房去睡？站着干什么？走 665 00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:49,980 是 666 00:41:02,870 --> 00:41:04,660 老爷，是时候睡了… 667 00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:06,530 你回来干什么？想偷看吗？ 668 00:41:06,790 --> 00:41:08,410 不敢… 滚 669 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:19,720 脱下她的衣服啦 670 00:41:20,010 --> 00:41:21,600 捏她的乳房 671 00:41:21,930 --> 00:41:24,800 捏她呀… 672 00:41:25,310 --> 00:41:26,890 你真没用呀 673 00:41:27,110 --> 00:41:27,810 开门 674 00:41:28,060 --> 00:41:30,270 开门呀… 675 00:41:31,030 --> 00:41:32,110 阿爹，什么事？ 676 00:41:32,610 --> 00:41:34,070 儿子呀，你搅了这样久 677 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:35,280 究竟搅了什么呀？ 678 00:41:35,570 --> 00:41:36,110 脱下她的衣服 679 00:41:36,410 --> 00:41:37,990 亲亲她的嘴巴，捏她的乳房 680 00:41:38,240 --> 00:41:39,820 接着就做爱嘛，你真是大笨蛋呀 681 00:41:39,990 --> 00:41:40,570 做爱？怎么做呀？ 682 00:41:40,790 --> 00:41:41,740 你这么笨 683 00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:43,110 将你的撒尿东西 684 00:41:43,500 --> 00:41:45,950 放进她撒尿的地方不就行吗？ 685 00:41:48,130 --> 00:41:51,580 小翠，你和小龙慢慢来 686 00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,160 去吧 687 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:56,460 拿出来，放进去 688 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,210 不要呀 689 00:42:01,510 --> 00:42:02,880 不用给面子我 690 00:42:03,140 --> 00:42:06,130 操她…操她… 691 00:42:07,060 --> 00:42:08,640 不好呀… 692 00:42:10,020 --> 00:42:12,390 走开呀来呀 693 00:42:12,730 --> 00:42:14,730 我儿子真的这么笨吗？ 694 00:42:18,110 --> 00:42:20,280 你知不知道你现在在干什么呀？ 695 00:42:20,620 --> 00:42:21,820 现在我正洞房了 696 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:23,070 洞房？ 697 00:42:23,370 --> 00:42:25,030 你拿着尿壶洞房？ 698 00:42:25,410 --> 00:42:26,650 是你教我把撒尿的东西 699 00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:28,540 放进她撒尿的地方 700 00:42:28,830 --> 00:42:30,040 去死吧 701 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:35,580 有鞭也不懂得用 702 00:42:40,970 --> 00:42:42,630 小翠 703 00:42:43,930 --> 00:42:45,260 你没事吧？ 704 00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:49,390 龙仔不会疼你，老爷来疼你了 705 00:43:01,620 --> 00:43:04,450 不，老爷 706 00:43:04,700 --> 00:43:07,160 给我，…给我… 707 00:44:11,310 --> 00:44:13,850 小翠，你应该是属于我的 708 00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:19,560 老爷，小翠以后一定会给人说闲话 709 00:44:19,820 --> 00:44:21,100 人言可畏 710 00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,530 不如…让我一死了之吧 711 00:44:23,780 --> 00:44:27,690 胡说，谁敢说你闲话 712 00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,160 我杀他全家 713 00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:35,740 以后，你白天和那个傻仔做假夫妻 714 00:44:36,210 --> 00:44:40,870 晚上，我们就做一对真龙凤 715 00:44:52,100 --> 00:44:54,560 为什么老爷那么迟都不出来 716 00:44:56,230 --> 00:45:00,220 是呀，这几天老是躲在自己房里 717 00:45:00,530 --> 00:45:01,890 也不来敲我们的锣 718 00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:03,730 他是不是生病了 719 00:45:03,950 --> 00:45:08,910 不会吧，他胃口好得会吞下整只牛 720 00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,730 就是，他已经十天不来敲我们的锣了 721 00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:13,410 真不能相信他 722 00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:15,950 一定有原因的 723 00:45:17,590 --> 00:45:20,620 老爷今夜仍在春云房休息 724 00:45:24,470 --> 00:45:27,930 又去过世大娘的房间，又没我的份儿 725 00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:30,840 看你搞什么鬼？ 726 00:47:46,610 --> 00:47:49,440 老爷呀，不要停呀 727 00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:04,370 不会吧 728 00:48:05,130 --> 00:48:08,240 真的，是我亲眼看到的 729 00:48:08,550 --> 00:48:09,790 家丑不可外传 730 00:48:10,010 --> 00:48:12,710 我们老爷性子倔，劝他也是没用 731 00:48:12,930 --> 00:48:15,790 我们还是保守秘密，等待时机再劝他吧 732 00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:20,540 可惜l真是可惜 733 00:50:26,020 --> 00:50:28,050 干什么？没鬼用 734 00:50:28,350 --> 00:50:29,260 老爷 735 00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:32,730 死得这么恐怖，是不是要去报官呢？ 736 00:50:32,940 --> 00:50:35,600 报官有什么用？这个镇我就是官啦？ 737 00:50:36,110 --> 00:50:38,940 爹，二娘的死有可疑 738 00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,360 老爷，我记得昨晚 739 00:50:41,620 --> 00:50:43,650 看见二娘拿着一包东西 740 00:50:43,950 --> 00:50:45,940 和两个男人出去了 741 00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:49,450 我看见他们鬼鬼祟祟，也不知上哪儿去 742 00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:51,450 真有这样的事？ 743 00:50:51,710 --> 00:50:54,330 来福，看二娘的首饰还在不在 744 00:50:54,590 --> 00:50:55,620 你真是机警 745 00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,750 老爷，什么都没有了 746 00:50:58,220 --> 00:51:00,170 这件事就是这样简单 747 00:51:00,470 --> 00:51:02,330 这个婆娘就去勾引男人 748 00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:04,300 跟着那班人私奔 749 00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:07,850 谁知那班人要钱不要人！杀了她 750 00:51:08,100 --> 00:51:11,310 但是二娘浑身都没有衣服，还七孔流血 751 00:51:11,810 --> 00:51:13,770 肯定是那两个家伙分赃不匀 752 00:51:14,020 --> 00:51:16,980 心里不高兴，所以叫班兄弟来轮奸她 753 00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:18,480 一个接一个 754 00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:23,740 你看看她，全身有洞的地方都烂了流血 755 00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,780 简直就像被二十多人轮奸过一样 756 00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:28,780 老爷，那现在怎办？ 757 00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:30,570 家丑不可外传 758 00:51:30,830 --> 00:51:33,580 来福，随便找个地方把她埋了 759 00:51:33,790 --> 00:51:34,250 知道 760 00:51:34,550 --> 00:51:37,080 爹，我想这事不是这么简单 761 00:51:37,550 --> 00:51:39,080 我一定会查清楚 762 00:51:39,340 --> 00:51:41,880 看谁这么大胆勾引我老婆 763 00:51:42,220 --> 00:51:43,330 这件事你不耍管 764 00:51:43,890 --> 00:51:45,840 小翠，以后小心点 765 00:51:46,350 --> 00:51:48,890 不如我们先回房吧？ 766 00:52:00,070 --> 00:52:01,360 真的？ 767 00:52:01,610 --> 00:52:03,530 怪不得爹经常帮着她 768 00:52:03,780 --> 00:52:04,320 什么事？做什么？ 769 00:52:04,490 --> 00:52:05,570 别多事 770 00:52:05,910 --> 00:52:07,570 今晚去验一下二娘的尸体好 771 00:52:15,750 --> 00:52:17,840 她的死状跟玉女心经所形容的一样 772 00:52:18,090 --> 00:52:18,540 好臭呀 773 00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:20,040 采补元阴，吸星大法 774 00:52:20,470 --> 00:52:23,300 御女至将泄未泄之时，十阳齐出 775 00:52:23,550 --> 00:52:25,340 贯其体，吸其真阴 776 00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:28,970 功力倍增，幻化阴阳，随心所欲 777 00:52:29,350 --> 00:52:31,680 十阳齐出，不是吧 778 00:52:32,020 --> 00:52:34,560 但是她全身都好像让人强奸过 779 00:52:35,190 --> 00:52:36,730 真阴被采之女 780 00:52:37,020 --> 00:52:39,360 腹内空无一物，无药可救 781 00:52:41,030 --> 00:52:42,860 把她的肚子剖开看看 782 00:52:43,110 --> 00:52:44,480 你来吧 783 00:52:51,790 --> 00:52:53,370 有怪别怪我 784 00:52:56,090 --> 00:52:57,420 里边真是什么都没有 785 00:52:57,670 --> 00:52:58,960 肠呀胃呀肾呀什么都没有 786 00:52:59,340 --> 00:53:01,000 连子宫都没有了 787 00:53:01,380 --> 00:53:02,590 难道真是幻姬做的？ 788 00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:05,630 像呀，只有幻姬才懂得采阴补阳 789 00:53:05,970 --> 00:53:07,080 那我们现在怎么办？ 790 00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:09,210 我也没有办法 791 00:53:09,430 --> 00:53:11,260 花道，不如你去找铁捕头 792 00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:12,260 铁中棠 793 00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:14,100 只有他才可以对付幻姬 794 00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,510 我怀疑幻姬就在我们家里 795 00:53:17,020 --> 00:53:17,930 你不是以为 796 00:53:18,270 --> 00:53:19,600 我觉得小翠很可疑 797 00:53:19,860 --> 00:53:21,770 回去千万不要让她知道我们来过这里 798 00:53:22,070 --> 00:53:22,560 好 799 00:53:22,780 --> 00:53:23,940 去吧 800 00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:26,490 帮你做事，还要打我 801 00:53:27,450 --> 00:53:28,400 我们回去 802 00:53:30,660 --> 00:53:32,870 关门了，要轻声点 803 00:53:33,790 --> 00:53:35,000 一会儿要小心点 804 00:53:35,330 --> 00:53:36,740 千万不能让她知道我们去哪儿 805 00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:37,700 记住 806 00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:39,580 你们这么晚去哪儿 807 00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:41,490 柴房有老鼠，我们去捉呀 808 00:53:41,710 --> 00:53:44,960 是吗？柴房是石地也会有老鼠 809 00:53:45,260 --> 00:53:46,540 你们有没有追到街上呀 810 00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:48,260 没有，捉完了 811 00:53:48,550 --> 00:53:49,710 我们睡觉了，晚安 812 00:53:49,890 --> 00:53:51,050 晚上好 813 00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:08,280 高点 814 00:54:08,570 --> 00:54:10,570 给我，给我玩 815 00:54:13,620 --> 00:54:14,360 高点 816 00:54:14,660 --> 00:54:15,620 真是奇怪 817 00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:18,490 小翠看起来好像一个不通世务的小女孩 818 00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:20,990 怎会跟爹搞出乱伦行为呢？ 819 00:54:21,300 --> 00:54:24,330 二娘又怎会死呢？难道不关她事 820 00:54:32,430 --> 00:54:34,170 相公 821 00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:40,770 哥哥，他怎么会掉下去？ 822 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:42,310 我不知道 823 00:54:42,570 --> 00:54:45,400 他走到崖边，一滑就掉下去了 824 00:54:46,900 --> 00:54:48,640 相公 825 00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:03,580 真是家门不幸 826 00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:05,870 九代单传只有一个儿子 827 00:55:06,260 --> 00:55:07,870 也会有这样的意外 828 00:55:08,180 --> 00:55:12,040 龙仔！你安息吧！我会照顾小翠 829 00:55:12,390 --> 00:55:14,420 为了我们西门家有一点后 830 00:55:14,720 --> 00:55:16,380 为补偿小翠的痛楚 831 00:55:16,770 --> 00:55:17,970 我西门坚决定宣布 832 00:55:18,310 --> 00:55:21,100 纳小翠为第五房妾待 833 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,520 家公娶媳妇，不就是扒灰 834 00:55:23,770 --> 00:55:24,480 那是乱伦 835 00:55:24,780 --> 00:55:25,890 什么伦都是人作出来的 836 00:55:26,150 --> 00:55:28,360 在这个镇！我说了什么伦就什么伦 837 00:55:28,700 --> 00:55:30,610 哥哥尸骨未寒，你就要纳小翠为妾？ 838 00:55:30,910 --> 00:55:32,150 哥哥死都不闭眼 839 00:55:33,830 --> 00:55:37,240 谁说不闭眼？他闭到十足呀！你看看 840 00:55:39,460 --> 00:55:40,370 你这小子 841 00:55:40,620 --> 00:55:43,370 生前拖累我，死了还要吓我 842 00:55:43,670 --> 00:55:44,330 如果你真的这样做 843 00:55:44,590 --> 00:55:45,540 我就走，以后都不回来 844 00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:47,540 你还敢斗嘴？住嘴 845 00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:48,710 你们不准再多说 846 00:55:49,090 --> 00:55:50,920 再说我就不给你们面子 847 00:55:52,300 --> 00:55:53,380 铁捕头？ 848 00:55:56,100 --> 00:55:57,180 你是什么人？ 849 00:55:57,390 --> 00:55:59,050 刑部一级捕快铁中棠 850 00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:00,720 你来干什么？ 851 00:56:00,980 --> 00:56:03,640 我是奉命追捕采阴补阳的妖道幻姬 852 00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:06,020 我怀疑她已经来了本镇 853 00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:08,600 幻姬？幻姬是谁？ 854 00:56:09,070 --> 00:56:11,400 她得到本玉女心经的邪门秘笠 855 00:56:11,660 --> 00:56:13,520 采阴补阳的功力极高 856 00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:16,950 专门吸取女性元阴来加强自己的功力 857 00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:19,360 已经有好多个无辜的人受害 858 00:56:19,710 --> 00:56:21,870 她会在附近继续作恶 859 00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:25,540 我怀疑你的二娘就是让幻姬害死的 860 00:56:25,790 --> 00:56:27,710 如果是她，你还不去捉她？ 861 00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:31,130 我相信一个新加入你们的成员 862 00:56:31,470 --> 00:56:32,920 就是幻姬的化身 863 00:56:33,140 --> 00:56:34,420 你说什么？ 864 00:56:34,890 --> 00:56:35,920 你说呀 865 00:56:36,180 --> 00:56:37,720 究竟是谁？ 866 00:56:37,970 --> 00:56:40,430 谁？是谁？ 867 00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:41,800 就是她 868 00:56:42,230 --> 00:56:44,720 混帐！小翠她手无搏鸡之力 869 00:56:45,060 --> 00:56:46,050 怎会是杀人凶手？ 870 00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:47,970 天下间最毒的毒蛇都是色彩缤纷 871 00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:49,390 非常吸引 872 00:56:49,780 --> 00:56:51,230 但是当你让它咬了 873 00:56:51,490 --> 00:56:53,020 你就知道它的毒厉害 874 00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:54,400 到那时已经太迟 875 00:56:54,910 --> 00:56:56,360 我不知道你在说什么？ 876 00:56:56,530 --> 00:56:59,320 小翠现在是我老婆，你碰她一条毫发 877 00:56:59,700 --> 00:57:00,570 我就要你的狗命！你听见没有？ 878 00:57:00,830 --> 00:57:01,990 你真是冥顽不灵 879 00:57:02,290 --> 00:57:04,780 在这个镇，我可以随时调动过千人 880 00:57:05,130 --> 00:57:07,080 就算你怎样好打，你也走不掉 881 00:57:07,380 --> 00:57:08,290 你想不想试一下？ 882 00:57:08,630 --> 00:57:10,240 我今天不是来跟你打架 883 00:57:10,550 --> 00:57:13,510 当我有足够证据的时候，我会来找你 884 00:57:14,890 --> 00:57:16,470 你好自为之 885 00:57:17,100 --> 00:57:19,430 西门小兄弟，你跟我一起走 886 00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:21,130 铁捕头，我跟你走 887 00:57:21,430 --> 00:57:23,770 你这衰女，这么忏逆不听我话 888 00:57:23,980 --> 00:57:25,970 你够胆跟他走，以后就不要再回来 889 00:57:26,270 --> 00:57:27,510 没有吓怕你吧 890 00:57:27,730 --> 00:57:30,520 小翠放心，有我在这，谁也不用怕 891 00:58:21,490 --> 00:58:23,860 小翠是你阿爹强娶回来的穷家女 892 00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:25,530 既然大家觉得她可疑 893 00:58:25,830 --> 00:58:27,200 我们便到她家里质问她父母 894 00:58:27,540 --> 00:58:29,000 可能会找到线索 895 00:58:31,250 --> 00:58:33,340 为什么这儿没什么人气？ 896 00:58:49,020 --> 00:58:50,730 快去拿些药来 897 00:59:05,660 --> 00:59:07,120 小翠？ 898 00:59:16,590 --> 00:59:17,630 小心 899 00:59:21,470 --> 00:59:23,090 有死尸呀 900 00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:31,440 是三条干尸，他们似乎已死了几个月 901 00:59:31,940 --> 00:59:32,850 你是说小翠她… 902 00:59:33,150 --> 00:59:34,640 我看真正的小翠和她的父母 903 00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:37,220 一早已不在人世 904 00:59:37,570 --> 00:59:38,850 你家里的那个小翠 905 00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:40,610 是幻姬的化身 906 00:59:40,780 --> 00:59:42,110 她为了逃避我的追捕，躲进你家里 907 00:59:42,490 --> 00:59:43,730 顺道修习玉女心经 908 00:59:43,990 --> 00:59:45,110 那阿爹不是很危险吗？ 909 00:59:45,410 --> 00:59:46,150 我们立即回去 910 00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:48,990 什么事 911 00:59:49,290 --> 00:59:51,030 外面有很多人埋伏 912 01:00:13,270 --> 01:00:14,480 阿爹 913 01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:19,100 铁捕头，你怎么样 914 01:00:21,860 --> 01:00:23,480 衰女，你护着外人 915 01:00:23,910 --> 01:00:26,490 阿爹，你疯了？杀公差很大罪的 916 01:00:26,740 --> 01:00:29,360 你滚开！他们死光了便没事了 917 01:00:30,910 --> 01:00:33,450 我怎样也不会走，有胆也把我杀了 918 01:00:33,710 --> 01:00:35,160 铁捕头，我们走吧 919 01:00:36,420 --> 01:00:37,410 老爷，还追不追 920 01:00:37,670 --> 01:00:38,630 不用追 921 01:00:39,130 --> 01:00:41,250 他中了娘子帮我浸的烈火箭 922 01:00:41,550 --> 01:00:43,710 半个时辰内没有女人和他交合 923 01:00:44,050 --> 01:00:46,380 就会爆阳而死 924 01:00:47,390 --> 01:00:48,000 老爷 925 01:00:48,270 --> 01:00:50,760 小姐跟他一起，怕不怕… 926 01:00:51,230 --> 01:00:52,640 当然不怕 927 01:00:52,890 --> 01:00:55,140 我的女儿穿了贞操宝甲护身 928 01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:59,140 他只能看，不能动，死得更辛苦呀 929 01:01:01,990 --> 01:01:04,320 好，我们回去 930 01:01:09,450 --> 01:01:12,070 有间庙，我们进去避一避 931 01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:22,840 你怎样？ 932 01:01:23,180 --> 01:01:25,040 我全身好像裂开似的 933 01:01:25,430 --> 01:01:27,090 我想我中了毒箭 934 01:01:28,810 --> 01:01:29,790 毒箭？ 935 01:01:30,140 --> 01:01:31,630 阿爹从来不会用毒箭的 936 01:01:32,060 --> 01:01:33,890 一定是幻姬教他用 937 01:01:34,140 --> 01:01:35,010 是幻姬？ 938 01:01:35,270 --> 01:01:38,140 那玉女心经可能有解毒的方法 939 01:01:39,110 --> 01:01:41,970 好热呀！好热呀 940 01:01:45,950 --> 01:01:46,860 有了 941 01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:49,450 烈火箭乃天下至淫至毒之毒箭 942 01:01:49,740 --> 01:01:52,030 中者全身发热，阳物涨大 943 01:01:52,620 --> 01:01:54,240 若然半个时辰之内 944 01:01:54,580 --> 01:01:56,950 无女性与之交合，阴阳调和 945 01:01:57,290 --> 01:02:00,750 中者必将全身爆裂，阳具爆血而死 946 01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:05,290 好狠毒 947 01:02:07,180 --> 01:02:09,670 我…我背你去妓院 948 01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:11,890 来不及了 949 01:02:12,100 --> 01:02:14,130 西门小兄弟，你先走吧 950 01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:17,100 算我铁中棠命该如此 951 01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:20,600 好辛苦 952 01:02:27,450 --> 01:02:29,400 其实我是女儿身 953 01:02:30,120 --> 01:02:31,780 是我找你来 954 01:02:31,790 --> 01:02:33,820 我不能看着你死 955 01:02:35,660 --> 01:02:36,780 不要呀… 956 01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:37,530 小兄弟… 957 01:02:37,750 --> 01:02:39,580 不…小姐，不要呀 958 01:02:39,790 --> 01:02:43,210 但是我这副护甲，是打不开的 959 01:02:43,460 --> 01:02:45,920 不…小姐，不要呀 960 01:02:46,260 --> 01:02:48,290 我要借你那把雁翔刀一用 961 01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:51,790 你不可以这样做，不可以牺牲 962 01:02:52,890 --> 01:02:53,800 不要呀 963 01:04:48,090 --> 01:04:49,670 小翠…… 964 01:04:54,340 --> 01:04:57,050 小翠，小翠，我回来了 965 01:04:57,850 --> 01:04:58,840 相公 966 01:04:59,100 --> 01:05:02,090 那班捕快已经全给我杀掉 967 01:05:02,350 --> 01:05:03,810 相公真是神勇无双 968 01:05:04,150 --> 01:05:06,140 快来，我们喝酒庆祝一下 969 01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:07,560 好 970 01:05:13,150 --> 01:05:16,110 这是什么酒？那么好喝 971 01:05:16,410 --> 01:05:19,240 这是波斯来的蚀骨销魂酒 972 01:05:19,450 --> 01:05:23,490 饮完后恩爱，我们会特别畅快 973 01:05:23,830 --> 01:05:26,920 那要喝多些了，来一壶 974 01:05:34,630 --> 01:05:36,370 真是痛快 975 01:05:50,230 --> 01:05:53,440 真是有效用，很劲呀 976 01:05:56,200 --> 01:05:58,730 娘子，我们上床吧 977 01:06:05,790 --> 01:06:07,330 你来捉我吧 978 01:06:09,090 --> 01:06:10,450 好呀 979 01:06:20,930 --> 01:06:22,590 不要再玩了，快过来 980 01:06:22,930 --> 01:06:24,170 你捉不到我就算了 981 01:06:24,390 --> 01:06:28,180 你看，我硬得像把剑，不方便嘛 982 01:06:28,560 --> 01:06:30,180 你自己想办法了 983 01:06:31,020 --> 01:06:34,810 硬没人情，小弟硬没亲戚，我反脸了 984 01:06:35,110 --> 01:06:36,440 反脸又怎样 985 01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:39,480 这酒的全名是 986 01:06:39,740 --> 01:06:42,400 蚀骨销魂金枪不倒七日射血酒 987 01:06:42,660 --> 01:06:45,070 喝了会金枪不倒，不断交合 988 01:06:45,330 --> 01:06:46,910 七日之后射血而死 989 01:06:47,120 --> 01:06:49,990 但如果一柱香时分都没有女人跟你交合 990 01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:52,080 你便会阳裂而死 991 01:06:52,340 --> 01:06:54,540 阳裂？那不就是屌断？ 992 01:06:54,840 --> 01:06:57,330 这便是你贪淫好色的报应 993 01:07:09,230 --> 01:07:11,390 不怕，还有三娘 994 01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:20,820 剩下半截？ 995 01:07:29,120 --> 01:07:30,830 好辛苦呀 996 01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:34,910 我要女人，我要女人呀 997 01:07:35,300 --> 01:07:37,500 我好辛苦 998 01:07:39,630 --> 01:07:41,420 好痛呀… 999 01:07:42,550 --> 01:07:44,510 好辛苦… 1000 01:08:18,300 --> 01:08:19,500 原来你们在这 1001 01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:23,500 有没有搅错？扔下我这么没义气 1002 01:08:29,020 --> 01:08:31,380 没有了… 1003 01:08:31,600 --> 01:08:33,430 护甲也砍破了，什么也没有了 1004 01:08:33,650 --> 01:08:34,930 我们没什么 1005 01:08:36,860 --> 01:08:40,020 小兄弟，阿柔已是我的妻子 1006 01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:44,190 她舍身救我，我绝对不会辜负她 1007 01:08:44,570 --> 01:08:46,410 龙船快过马 1008 01:08:46,620 --> 01:08:48,900 迟来先上岸，你厉害 1009 01:08:50,370 --> 01:08:51,660 你不用发怒 1010 01:08:52,330 --> 01:08:54,200 我看完了这本玉女心经 1011 01:08:54,420 --> 01:08:57,030 知道幻姬练采阴补阳之术 1012 01:08:57,250 --> 01:08:58,870 一到雷电交加之夜 1013 01:08:59,170 --> 01:09:00,710 便会淫兴大发 1014 01:09:00,970 --> 01:09:04,460 幻化男女双身吸取元阳元阴 1015 01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:06,760 而到达极乐境界之时 1016 01:09:07,220 --> 01:09:09,210 就是最软弱的时间 1017 01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:11,140 我需要你合作 1018 01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:15,060 和阿柔回去西门山庄 1019 01:09:15,310 --> 01:09:16,390 对付幻姬 1020 01:09:16,560 --> 01:09:18,770 老实说，我不大相信你说的话 1021 01:09:19,030 --> 01:09:21,020 那我要你帮忙，你帮不帮？ 1022 01:09:22,030 --> 01:09:23,390 帮 1023 01:09:23,660 --> 01:09:24,820 大块头 1024 01:09:25,160 --> 01:09:27,070 你也要我帮忙吗？ 1025 01:09:29,910 --> 01:09:33,780 娘子，你回去后，一切要小心 1026 01:09:50,260 --> 01:09:53,350 夫人，夫人 1027 01:09:53,980 --> 01:09:54,890 什么事？ 1028 01:09:55,270 --> 01:09:58,730 夫人，小姐和花道少爷回来了 1029 01:09:58,900 --> 01:10:00,060 真的？ 1030 01:10:02,240 --> 01:10:03,150 我阿爹他 1031 01:10:03,360 --> 01:10:04,480 你阿爹得了急病 1032 01:10:04,740 --> 01:10:07,400 三天前已经离开了我们 1033 01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:09,780 那其他人呢？ 1034 01:10:10,030 --> 01:10:11,440 他们全部跑掉了 1035 01:10:11,740 --> 01:10:12,980 现在剩下我一个 1036 01:10:13,250 --> 01:10:14,950 没人为我作主 1037 01:10:15,830 --> 01:10:17,660 我和花道会在这儿住几天 1038 01:10:17,920 --> 01:10:20,030 一切后事，由他打点 1039 01:10:20,380 --> 01:10:21,990 谢谢花相公 1040 01:10:26,090 --> 01:10:30,630 以后西门家，只剩下我们俩人相依为命 1041 01:11:20,100 --> 01:11:21,890 别望过来 1042 01:11:22,110 --> 01:11:25,470 没有，我的脖子动不了，活动一下嘛 1043 01:11:25,820 --> 01:11:27,770 我盼咐你看着外面，为什么偷看我 1044 01:11:27,990 --> 01:11:29,020 外面鬼影都没有 1045 01:11:29,320 --> 01:11:31,150 你晚晚花两个时辰洗澡不累吗 1046 01:11:31,370 --> 01:11:33,280 我觉得今晚一定有事 1047 01:11:33,530 --> 01:11:34,770 今晚不停闪电 1048 01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:36,990 每次行雷闪电便会有事发生 1049 01:11:37,250 --> 01:11:38,910 我不信那个铁中棠的说话 1050 01:11:39,370 --> 01:11:41,580 为了替阿爹报仇，我什么都愿意做 1051 01:11:41,960 --> 01:11:43,420 你别搞到气氛那么悲壮 1052 01:11:43,750 --> 01:11:44,910 搅到我都尿急了 1053 01:11:45,380 --> 01:11:48,040 那你先出去，你先出去我才可以出来 1054 01:11:48,590 --> 01:11:49,670 知道啦 1055 01:12:13,570 --> 01:12:14,860 花相公 1056 01:12:19,710 --> 01:12:23,410 你去小便都带刀，怕有人强奸你？ 1057 01:12:24,090 --> 01:12:29,300 不是，我怕狗，我小时候小便给狗咬过 1058 01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:34,300 你这么夜还不睡，怕我？ 1059 01:12:34,720 --> 01:12:36,090 不是，我怎会怕你？ 1060 01:12:36,390 --> 01:12:38,760 对，这么晚了你为什么不睡 1061 01:12:39,730 --> 01:12:44,260 今晚行雷闪电，风又大，我好怕呀 1062 01:12:44,520 --> 01:12:46,310 你怕？不用怕 1063 01:12:46,610 --> 01:12:49,470 你回去，用被盖着头便不用怕了 1064 01:12:49,690 --> 01:12:52,530 现在我回房间也怕 1065 01:12:52,820 --> 01:12:55,110 老爷死在我的房间 1066 01:12:55,370 --> 01:12:57,360 死的时候样子很恐怖 1067 01:12:57,660 --> 01:13:01,740 双眼突了出来，舌头也伸了出来 1068 01:13:02,040 --> 01:13:03,030 我先回房间去 1069 01:13:04,750 --> 01:13:06,740 想起来也可怕 1070 01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:09,630 不如你陪我入房睡 1071 01:13:10,090 --> 01:13:10,950 陪你睡？ 1072 01:13:11,220 --> 01:13:12,630 是呀 1073 01:13:13,380 --> 01:13:14,870 你不怕我吗？ 1074 01:13:15,140 --> 01:13:19,000 不怕，你是正人君子，我怎会怕 1075 01:13:19,470 --> 01:13:21,760 算你有眼光 1076 01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:26,890 她这样漂亮 1077 01:13:27,150 --> 01:13:30,860 说他是男人变的，我死都不信 1078 01:13:31,610 --> 01:13:33,650 那你算是答应了 1079 01:13:35,450 --> 01:13:37,910 男人大丈夫，护花有责 1080 01:13:38,370 --> 01:13:40,320 在下恭敬不如从命 1081 01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:59,630 小翠你怎么了？为什么哭？ 1082 01:14:01,310 --> 01:14:04,270 我怕你看不起我 1083 01:14:05,140 --> 01:14:06,480 怎么会？ 1084 01:14:06,730 --> 01:14:07,890 你会 1085 01:14:08,150 --> 01:14:10,010 因为我连续嫁了两个男人 1086 01:14:10,270 --> 01:14:12,610 可是两个男人都死于非命 1087 01:14:12,990 --> 01:14:17,190 人家一定会说我是扫帚星，克夫命 1088 01:14:19,580 --> 01:14:21,610 我两次嫁都是被迫 1089 01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:23,910 我只要找到一个喜欢的男人 1090 01:14:24,330 --> 01:14:25,120 真心爱我一晚 1091 01:14:25,540 --> 01:14:27,030 我就可以为他死 1092 01:14:29,840 --> 01:14:32,200 你别说这些话 1093 01:14:32,880 --> 01:14:34,290 花相公 1094 01:14:34,510 --> 01:14:38,470 如果我说，你就是我喜欢的男人 1095 01:14:39,010 --> 01:14:41,250 你会不会觉得我下贱 1096 01:14:42,430 --> 01:14:45,470 不会，怎么会？ 1097 01:14:45,810 --> 01:14:47,640 你会不会爱我一个晚上 1098 01:14:47,980 --> 01:14:49,810 助人为快乐之本 1099 01:14:50,020 --> 01:14:52,760 陪你一晚，我绝对愿意 1100 01:15:06,580 --> 01:15:08,950 小兄弟，我老哥委屈了你那么多次 1101 01:15:09,250 --> 01:15:11,990 今晚给你一样好东西，算是对得起你吧 1102 01:15:14,210 --> 01:15:15,950 花相公，我好冷呀 1103 01:15:16,130 --> 01:15:17,540 盖被子吧 1104 01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:22,710 大力点呀 1105 01:15:39,660 --> 01:15:41,610 再大力点呀 1106 01:15:49,540 --> 01:15:52,330 为什么突然那么大力？ 1107 01:15:54,300 --> 01:15:56,250 为什么里面有些东西顶我出来？ 1108 01:15:56,550 --> 01:15:58,710 这个姿势不行 1109 01:15:59,090 --> 01:16:00,460 你拿什么东西来刺我 1110 01:16:02,390 --> 01:16:04,720 救命呀… 1111 01:16:05,060 --> 01:16:06,800 快点放手 1112 01:16:07,020 --> 01:16:11,850 救命呀… 1113 01:16:12,150 --> 01:16:14,480 小弟弟，放烟雾 1114 01:16:18,740 --> 01:16:21,400 救命呀，放手… 1115 01:16:28,200 --> 01:16:29,910 救命呀 1116 01:16:34,290 --> 01:16:35,870 妖孽，受死 1117 01:16:44,010 --> 01:16:45,000 你没受伤吧？ 1118 01:16:45,180 --> 01:16:46,010 没事 1119 01:16:46,220 --> 01:16:46,930 怎会这样？ 1120 01:16:47,220 --> 01:16:48,300 果然不出我所料 1121 01:16:48,600 --> 01:16:49,810 她吸了这么多元阴 1122 01:16:50,100 --> 01:16:51,560 现在还想吸你的元阳 1123 01:16:52,230 --> 01:16:53,590 你把我当做饵 1124 01:16:53,850 --> 01:16:56,190 都是你好色之过，受不住迷惑 1125 01:16:56,480 --> 01:16:57,640 你现在最好找个地方躲避 1126 01:16:57,980 --> 01:16:59,350 让我去收拾这个妖孽 1127 01:17:00,820 --> 01:17:02,110 你去哪？ 1128 01:17:02,400 --> 01:17:03,770 我怎么办呀？ 1129 01:17:49,790 --> 01:17:51,780 铁中棠，解决了她没有？ 1130 01:17:51,950 --> 01:17:52,780 让她逃了 1131 01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:53,700 怎么办？ 1132 01:17:53,960 --> 01:17:55,700 你到外面盯阿柔，还有 1133 01:18:02,970 --> 01:18:04,130 那么容易捉我吗？ 1134 01:18:04,380 --> 01:18:06,210 铁中棠，你死得甘心啦 1135 01:18:33,370 --> 01:18:35,240 淫人妻子那么开心 1136 01:18:35,580 --> 01:18:38,320 现在我就去淫你最心爱的女人 1137 01:18:38,630 --> 01:18:41,990 享玩乐后再回来淫你 1138 01:18:59,400 --> 01:19:03,640 这杯酒，你阿爹喝了之后就会爆阳而死 1139 01:19:03,940 --> 01:19:05,480 现在到你喝了 1140 01:19:05,740 --> 01:19:09,230 你喝下去之后，会欲仙欲死 1141 01:19:09,530 --> 01:19:11,570 跟着我跟你交合 1142 01:19:11,780 --> 01:19:14,240 大家都会有极大的乐趣 1143 01:19:14,450 --> 01:19:16,540 到你最高潮的时候 1144 01:19:16,830 --> 01:19:18,700 我就会吸尽你的元阴 1145 01:19:18,960 --> 01:19:21,920 让你在极乐中而死 1146 01:19:38,730 --> 01:19:40,390 你是不是有轻飘飘的感觉呀？ 1147 01:19:40,770 --> 01:19:43,310 你的脸开始觉得好热，下面开始湿 1148 01:20:26,610 --> 01:20:27,890 怎样呀？ 1149 01:20:28,190 --> 01:20:29,600 我练成玉女心经 1150 01:20:29,950 --> 01:20:31,650 我就成为雌雄同体 1151 01:20:31,910 --> 01:20:36,110 我是最美丽的女人，也是最粗旷的男人 1152 01:20:36,490 --> 01:20:37,530 等一下我的阳物 1153 01:20:37,910 --> 01:20:42,250 会令你享受到欲仙欲死的极乐滋味 1154 01:20:44,250 --> 01:20:45,990 吻我胸脯 1155 01:21:05,770 --> 01:21:08,560 吻我… 1156 01:21:14,240 --> 01:21:17,280 吻低一点… 1157 01:21:32,130 --> 01:21:34,670 不要呀，不要 1158 01:21:51,530 --> 01:21:53,360 盘古开天僻地以来 1159 01:21:53,700 --> 01:21:54,780 就是靠这件阳物 1160 01:21:55,110 --> 01:21:57,780 为男女之间带来无数极乐的日子 1161 01:21:58,120 --> 01:21:59,200 你要极乐境界 1162 01:21:59,490 --> 01:22:02,910 就要好好的爱护它，亲近它 1163 01:22:04,540 --> 01:22:06,450 天下妇人都一样 1164 01:22:06,790 --> 01:22:08,530 开始的时候叫不好不好 1165 01:22:08,840 --> 01:22:11,750 到后来了，就只会叫好 1166 01:22:17,300 --> 01:22:18,590 好舒服 1167 01:22:18,850 --> 01:22:20,210 好开心 1168 01:22:20,560 --> 01:22:22,050 原来男女交合 1169 01:22:22,390 --> 01:22:24,260 可以有这么大的快乐 1170 01:22:24,730 --> 01:22:27,220 但在玉女心经里有几页提到 1171 01:22:27,560 --> 01:22:28,640 采阴补阳 1172 01:22:29,020 --> 01:22:30,180 胜负生死 1173 01:22:30,440 --> 01:22:33,350 分野在于某一方先到极乐境界 1174 01:22:33,610 --> 01:22:36,980 女方先到，元阴被男方摄去 1175 01:22:37,280 --> 01:22:40,610 男方先泄，元阳就尽归女方 1176 01:22:40,950 --> 01:22:42,030 我不可以先到 1177 01:22:42,240 --> 01:22:43,780 我耍忍 1178 01:22:47,880 --> 01:22:50,040 你阿爹自命淫尽天下妻女 1179 01:22:50,340 --> 01:22:51,750 而无人敢淫他妻女 1180 01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:54,710 现在不论他的妻子女儿，都给我淫尽 1181 01:22:55,090 --> 01:22:56,670 真是天理循环 1182 01:23:02,720 --> 01:23:04,760 这个女子的肌肤滑不留手 1183 01:23:05,100 --> 01:23:05,960 玉门紧凑 1184 01:23:06,270 --> 01:23:08,760 跟她交合真是至高境界 1185 01:23:09,060 --> 01:23:10,350 我好想泄 1186 01:23:10,610 --> 01:23:13,940 但我一定要守住元阳，元阳一泄 1187 01:23:14,230 --> 01:23:17,150 我采补女性元阴九十八人积来的功力 1188 01:23:17,530 --> 01:23:19,140 就一朝丧尽 1189 01:23:20,700 --> 01:23:22,610 我要换蝉附翼的姿势 1190 01:24:06,620 --> 01:24:09,110 我的快感愈来愈强了 1191 01:24:09,370 --> 01:24:11,660 不行，我要反客为主 1192 01:24:11,960 --> 01:24:12,990 令她先泄 1193 01:24:13,340 --> 01:24:14,750 反摄她的元阳 1194 01:24:15,000 --> 01:24:17,840 不然我就会被她吸尽元阴而死 1195 01:24:18,090 --> 01:24:20,080 我要用观音坐莲这一招 1196 01:24:32,310 --> 01:24:34,970 好舒服呀 1197 01:24:35,610 --> 01:24:39,400 我要赢，我要打败她替阿爹报仇 1198 01:24:45,990 --> 01:24:48,450 好舒服呀 1199 01:25:28,330 --> 01:25:29,860 我不可以给她继续 1200 01:25:30,080 --> 01:25:31,530 我要泄了 1201 01:25:32,330 --> 01:25:34,200 好舒服呀 1202 01:25:34,500 --> 01:25:35,990 我要泄了 1203 01:25:39,000 --> 01:25:40,290 我要泄了 1204 01:25:52,270 --> 01:25:54,050 你输了 1205 01:25:54,310 --> 01:25:56,470 你想不到我也学了玉女心经 1206 01:25:56,730 --> 01:25:58,770 我已经吸尽你的元阳 1207 01:26:11,290 --> 01:26:14,820 想不到你会死在铁中棠雁翔刀之下 1208 01:26:17,920 --> 01:26:19,330 你没有事嘛 1209 01:26:46,110 --> 01:26:48,530 走，我们走吧 1210 01:26:50,080 --> 01:26:51,440 来 1211 01:26:55,750 --> 01:26:57,990 西门坚他不信因果 1212 01:26:58,250 --> 01:26:59,460 坚持行淫 1213 01:26:59,670 --> 01:27:01,200 结果妻子儿女 1214 01:27:01,630 --> 01:27:03,740 全被幻姬所淫 1215 01:27:04,050 --> 01:27:06,330 只有西门柔宅心仁厚 1216 01:27:06,630 --> 01:27:07,840 虽然失身 1217 01:27:08,180 --> 01:27:09,590 但逃出生天 1218 01:27:10,220 --> 01:27:14,050 因果之说，真是信不信由你 80278