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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,170
Previously on "Wrecked"...
2
00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:04,172
Pack, you're
a sports agent, right?
3
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,139
Yeah.
Very successful.
4
00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:06,474
[ Gasps ]
I killed a Nazi.
5
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,376
You killed a guy who
happened to be a Nazi.
6
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,144
Same thing!
[ Groaning ]
7
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:11,379
We're pirates,
mother[bleep]
8
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,680
[ Gunfire, screaming ]
Danny Wallace?
9
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:14,315
His family's
worth billions!
10
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:17,351
I am The Barracuda...
and this is my island now.
11
00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:18,386
We'll call
your father,
12
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,687
and after he
sends the money,
13
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:20,888
we'll have you
picked up here.
14
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,756
I'm so sorry, but...
my father's dead.
15
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:24,992
Dad's dead?!
16
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,360
There's been
a setback.
17
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,062
We're just going to have
to learn to live together.
18
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,066
**
19
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,768
[ Chatter ]
20
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,612
Hey, guys.
I know that we're all
21
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:47,715
feeling a little uneasy
about the pirates, right?
22
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,550
We don't know, you know,
what they're doing
23
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,552
or how long
they plan to stay --
24
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:52,786
Yeah! What are
they doing!?
25
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,388
And how long do
they plan to stay!?
26
00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:57,191
Well, Chet, it's like
I literally just said,
27
00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:58,426
we don't know --
28
00:00:58,459 --> 00:00:59,960
And how come they
have so much gear?
29
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,096
Why?
And why do
they have tarps?!
30
00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,732
I'm pretty sure that the tarps
are just to cover things.
31
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,767
I don't think we need
to fear the tarps.
32
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,270
If it were up to me,
I'd say we steal those tarps,
33
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,572
string 'em to some boards
and boom --
34
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,874
we kite surf right
outta this shithole.
35
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,609
[ Chatter ]
Todd's right.
We should do that.
36
00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:16,710
Yeah!
Bruce:
I've seen it on TV.
37
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,078
We could try,
at least.
38
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,380
Okay.
Hey, guys!
39
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,415
Why don't we just
think of the pirates
40
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,717
as our new heavily-armed
neighbors --
41
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:26,954
If we leave them alone,
they will leave us alone.
42
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:28,656
Oh.
43
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,124
We're taking
your beach.
44
00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:32,426
Wh-- Seriously?
Where are we supposed to go?
45
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,328
Oh, we'll want you close.
46
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:35,796
You can live down there.
47
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,399
Down there?
Chet: That's
a terrible place!
48
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,134
[ Chatter ]
-Where we all shit?
-Burnt tires and stuff!
49
00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:41,902
That's, like, the worst
part of the beach!
50
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,272
It's covered in trash
and broken glass --
51
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:45,606
And dead birds.
See?
52
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,475
I didn't even know
about the dead birds.
53
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,479
Okay.
Guys, new plan.
54
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:53,013
Let's grab our stuff
and move down the beach.
55
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:56,083
What do you think?
Oh, I hate
grabbing my stuff!
56
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,186
[ Chatter ]
57
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,188
Are you happy?
58
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,922
And I want your shirt.
59
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:02,956
I'm sorry?
60
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:04,292
Your shirt.
61
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,260
Take it off
and give it to me.
62
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:07,528
Why does she
want his shirt?
63
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:08,629
[ Chatter ]
She can have
my shirt.
64
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,464
Okay. All right.
65
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:11,965
I know what
you're doing.
66
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:12,933
You're big-doggin' me.
67
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,435
You're trying
to show everybody
68
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,003
you can make me do
whatever you want.
69
00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:18,206
Okay, let me just explain
something to you,
70
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,274
uh, The Barracuda.
71
00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:21,509
I am putting
my foot down.
72
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:22,810
Okay,
see this foot?
73
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,278
I am putting
it down.
[ Gun cocks ]
74
00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:26,113
Yeah. I'll just take --
I'll take it off now.
75
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,582
[ Groans ]
It's sweaty,
so it's hard to come off.
76
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:34,322
**
77
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,991
[ Insects buzzing ]
78
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,126
Ow!
Dammit!
79
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:42,296
God, there's broken glass
everywhere!
80
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,698
Admittedly,
this is a setback.
81
00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,534
But on the plus side,
Bruce did let me
82
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,402
borrow one of
his shirts --
83
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:49,837
Don't stretch
that, now!
84
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:50,804
[ Sighs ]
85
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,340
At least it can't
get any worse.
86
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:55,509
[ Squealing speakers ]
87
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,545
What the hell
is that noise?!
88
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:01,014
[ Poison's "Nothin' But
a Good Time" plays ]
89
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,517
[ Distant chatter ]
90
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:06,354
God bless.
91
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,855
They're partying.
92
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:11,692
* Don't need nothin'
but a good time *
93
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:15,162
* How can I resist *
Why would they
bring a volleyball net?
94
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,064
* Ain't lookin' for nothin'
but a good time *
95
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,700
I don't know,
but Bandana gets up.
96
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,702
* And it don't get
better than this *
97
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,337
This is insane!
98
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,038
Why is it so loud?
99
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:27,508
They're probably
just blowing off steam.
100
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,142
They can't
party all day.
101
00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:34,715
What are they gonna do?
102
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,149
Party all night?
103
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:44,625
Oh, my God.
They partied all day...
104
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,860
and they partied
all night.
105
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,529
[ Dance music plays ]
106
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,031
[ Whimpering ] Why is this
happening to us?
107
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,400
Are we...dead?
108
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:53,901
[ Crying ]
109
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,404
**
110
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,105
[ Insects buzzing ]
111
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,041
Dad, I know
I wasn't able to
112
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,411
be home
for your funeral, but...
113
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:04,578
Oh!
Who wrote that?
114
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,079
"Dick" Wallace!
115
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,448
I don't think
you're a dick.
116
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:08,782
Some people do,
but not Steve!
117
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:11,952
No! Steve, it's not for me,
it's for my dad!
118
00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:13,754
Oh. Yeahhh,
[bleep] him.
119
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,088
He is a dick --
120
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:16,156
No, I built it!
121
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,458
It's for -- I was...
122
00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:20,127
Wait a minute --
people think I'm a dick?
123
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,462
Who thinks I'm a dick?
124
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:22,830
Oh, just, you know,
some people
125
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:23,997
because if your parents
loved you more,
126
00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:25,999
we'd be going home
right now.
127
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:28,669
Hey, hey.
I didn't --
128
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,103
I mean, that's
the truth, but I...
129
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,972
Look, both of us have done
things we regret.
130
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,007
You bringing the pirates
to the island,
131
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,810
me not killing
that Nazi sooner --
132
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,979
You murder someone, Steve.
It's not the same.
133
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,648
Oh, it's
pretty similar.
No.
134
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,616
Anyway, the others --
they hate us for it.
135
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:43,951
You can feel
the jealousy.
136
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,819
I think you and I
should team up.
137
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,821
What about this --
we get off the island
138
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:50,458
and go into
business together!
139
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:51,659
We make
a billion dollars
140
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,293
and we shove it in
their fat faces!
141
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,696
I mean, with my brains,
and your money --
142
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,665
put it this way,
I've got a lot of good ideas!
143
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,099
Are you about to
"Shark Tank" me?
144
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,801
Please don't "Shark Tank" me
at my father's grave --
145
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:03,471
I don't know what that means,
but picture this.
146
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,838
Oh, Jesus.
I'm a man.
147
00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:06,807
I've been hard-working
all day.
148
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,142
I've just got home.
What do I need?
149
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:12,646
A big bowl of steamy,
creamy risotto.
150
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,615
But who's got time
for all that stirring?!
151
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,484
Oh, kids will be
home soon.
152
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:19,119
I give you "RisoGurt."
153
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,689
It's like Go-GURT...
but for risotto!
154
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:26,494
You think people want hot,
portable risotto?
155
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,896
Also, is there
yogurt in it?
Of course not!
156
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,665
It's one-hundred percent
steamy, creamy risotto.
157
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,367
Then why is it
called "RisoGurt?"
158
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,339
I've got
other ideas --
159
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:40,674
I'm gonna
walk away now.
160
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:42,142
Well, mull it over!
161
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,844
We'll crack it,
you know!
162
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:48,015
[ Dance music playing ]
163
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,850
This is ridiculous!
They're using our shelters!
164
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:53,020
They're eating
our hot dogs!
They're not
our hot dogs.
165
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,889
They're on our island.
They're our hot dogs.
166
00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:58,058
We rule this realm!
167
00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,660
Hi.
168
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,028
[ Blows raspberry ]
Hi!
169
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,596
What?
170
00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:03,864
[ Smooches,
blows raspberry ]
171
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,065
Guys, I'm worried
about Florence.
172
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,434
I think that
the lack of sleep's
173
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,536
starting to
get to her.
What's happening?
174
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,170
That's it!
175
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,205
I'm getting this shit
turned down!
176
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:13,607
What? How?
177
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,709
Uh, I'm an agent,
remember?
178
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:16,710
I'll negotiate.
179
00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:18,912
Uh, they have guns.
180
00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:21,281
And I've got the magic
mouthpiece, baby!
181
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,349
Trust me.
182
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,051
I was trained by the best.
183
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:27,921
Does the name Greta Liebowitz
mean anything to you guys?
184
00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:31,725
Seriously?
185
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,260
"Game On" Greta?
186
00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,730
Oh, crack the trades,
you guys!
187
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,031
Greta Liebowitz
is the single
188
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,933
greatest sports agent
of all time.
189
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:43,003
No, I'm not mad.
I'm furious!
190
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,276
She taught me
everything I know...
191
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,078
Lemme work my magic.
192
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,681
I'll have 'em eating
right out of my asshole.
193
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:58,251
I don't think that's
the phrase at all.
194
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,290
* Money, money, money,
money, money *
195
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:06,494
What's up, bros?
196
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,961
Oh, hell yeah!
197
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,329
You know,
I love music.
198
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:10,831
[ Music turns off ]
What do you want?
199
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:11,999
I just wanted
to come by
200
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,133
and say whattup,
you know.
201
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,768
I am loving
these jams.
202
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,003
I'm back there like,
203
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,137
"I should
be chin deep
204
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,139
in some strip club
titties."
205
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,008
You guys know what
I'm talking about, playboys?
206
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,442
No.
207
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:23,577
O-kay.
208
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:25,278
I just wanted
to see if you guys
209
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:28,148
could just keep
the vols on your speaks
210
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,950
down where
they are now.
211
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,119
You know, not for me,
you know, I love it, you know?
212
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,754
It's like pump,
pump, pump it up!
213
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,122
It's more so for
my friends, you know,
214
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:36,456
they're just a bunch of
narcs and pussies --
215
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:40,027
Not gonna happen.
My men deserve some R&R.
216
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,995
Also, I don't like you.
217
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,866
But I do like
your watch.
218
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,035
This?
219
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,202
This is nothing,
really.
220
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:51,138
It's not even --
I'll take it.
221
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,806
Along with the rest
of your stuff.
222
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,308
What?!
Go bring
their luggage.
223
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,477
All of it.
224
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,146
It's mine now.
225
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,815
**
226
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,658
Nice work, Pack.
You somehow made things worse.
227
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:11,792
[ Spits ]
228
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:12,993
I don't want
to sound dramatic,
229
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,461
but if I don't
have my dry shampoo
230
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,897
I will light these
[bleep] pirates on fire!
231
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,231
Okay?
Okay.
Okay, baby.
232
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,533
It's gonna be
all right, all right?
233
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,068
The important
things are safe.
234
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,870
I hid my golf clubs
in the jungle.
235
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,137
[ Laughs ]
236
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,039
Todd is always
one step ahead!
237
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,875
Pack, I should
warn you --
238
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:30,811
sleep deprivation makes me
sexually aggressive.
239
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,380
And I will be taking
it out on you.
240
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,484
Oh, my God.
241
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,987
Guys, I'm sorry, okay!?
I don't know what happened.
242
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,889
I thought you were gonna go
"work your magic"?
243
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,524
I did!
It didn't work at all.
244
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:45,693
I need
something else.
245
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:46,760
I need...
246
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,762
an ass in a hat.
247
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,866
What?
Oh, God.
I am so tired.
248
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,034
What's the phrase?
249
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,368
Ace in the hole?
250
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,004
Ace in the hole!
251
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,572
What's in the box?
252
00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:01,174
Our ace in the hole.
Nice.
253
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,342
Here.
254
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,410
Put these on.
255
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:05,846
I don't
wear glasses.
You do now.
256
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,748
Your face looks dumb
without them.
257
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,583
Open.
Oh, yeah.
258
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,422
There he is.
259
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:16,957
Game on.
260
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:20,928
Oh, my gosh!
It's my man Chris Bosh!
261
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,262
Greta, what's up?
262
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,897
This is
my main man, Pack.
263
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,065
Sit.
264
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,299
He's gonna run
this town someday.
265
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,235
Pshhh, ain't no thang
but a G-strang.
266
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,370
Welcome to the butt cracks
of the business.
267
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,272
You know all about that,
don't you, big dog?
268
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,907
Hit me.
269
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,075
Anyway, listen.
270
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:36,276
I don't have
a lot of time.
271
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,577
Me, LeBron,
and Dwyane --
272
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,246
We got laser tag
right after this, so...
273
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,248
Pack?
274
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,750
Baby boy, let me talk
to you for a minute.
275
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,051
You got money.
276
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,753
I got money.
277
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,587
But this isn't
about money.
278
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,122
It's about you.
279
00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:51,058
You need reps
that understand
280
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,893
the entirety
of Chris Bosh.
281
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,094
How you think.
How you feel.
282
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,629
How you eat.
How you [bleep]
283
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:56,897
What?
284
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,265
That's too much.
Was that too much?
285
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,901
Bosh-y, when I see you
on the basketball court,
286
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,003
I do not see
a basketball star.
287
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,605
I see...
a basketball samurai.
288
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,340
Like a samurai warrior?
289
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,442
Because I love
samurai shit.
290
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:12,445
And Pack, what does
every samurai need?
291
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,081
Throwing stars!
292
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,416
Nope. I'm talking about
what's in the box.
293
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,818
Nunchucks!
294
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:20,320
No. What does
a samurai use?
295
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,454
A sword?
296
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,056
Exactly.
297
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,159
Whoa!
298
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:28,996
Can I keep it?
299
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,097
I insist.
300
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,598
It's a real Massamune.
301
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:35,602
It's the best in the world.
Just like you!
302
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,105
[ Whispering ] It's fake.
I bought it on eBay.
Nice.
303
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,174
LeBron and Dwyane
and are gonna shit!
304
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,914
I gotta find
a samurai sword.
305
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,182
What?
306
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:53,987
Got another idea!
Ah!
307
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,156
Steve!
My wiener is out, man!
308
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:58,792
What are two things
every modern woman loves?
309
00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,193
Exercising...
310
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,029
and heavy desserts!
311
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:05,198
Introducing
"Pie-lates!"
312
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:07,500
You want women to eat
a bunch of pie
313
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:09,837
before immediately
doing pilates?
314
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:11,538
Exactly.
Making money on both ends!
315
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:15,642
Steve, I don't want to be
business partners with you.
316
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,378
That's just because we haven't
come up with the right idea!
317
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,915
Danny, I've got it!
318
00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:23,050
"Hammer-In-An-Hour!"
319
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,417
We get any hammer,
anywhere,
320
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,754
in one hour flat.
Why a hammer?
321
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,688
And why an hour?
322
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,223
"Euth-an-easy."
323
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,192
Euthanasia,
made easy --
324
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:35,428
Oh, my God. Steve.
These are all very bad ideas.
325
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:38,531
We could combine "Euth-an-easy"
with "Hammer-In-An-Hour."
326
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,700
Get --
Stop talking to me!
327
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:43,570
[ Dance music blares ]
328
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,438
Hey, everyone!
329
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:48,742
I have bad news, and I'm told
I have poor bedside manners,
330
00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:51,378
so I only want to shout this
at you idiots once --
331
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:54,447
this god-awful music is
scaring away the boars.
332
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:55,282
What?
333
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:58,051
Yes!
No more boars!
334
00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,219
No, Chet,
that's bad.
335
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,088
We eat
the boars.
336
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:02,222
Holy shit.
337
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:03,957
If we don't
convince the pirates
338
00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:08,228
to turn down the music,
everyone but Pack will starve.
339
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,197
Wait.
Why won't I starve?
340
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,398
I already
told you --
341
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,100
I'm gonna
[bleep] you to death.
342
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,635
Guh.
Enough!
343
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:20,607
Back in the real world, if your
neighbor makes your life suck,
344
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,411
you either call the cops, which
is the coward's way, or --
345
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:27,714
you grab a golf club,
maybe a 3- or a 4-iron,
346
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,216
possibly a low wood,
347
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,085
and you smash every window
348
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:35,122
on their precious
cherry red Land Rover!
349
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:36,990
I called dibs on that color.
350
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:39,092
I called dibs on red!
351
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:40,427
Let's fight!
352
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,595
[ Cheering ]
353
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:46,967
Hey, guys, if we fight them,
we will be killed.
354
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,103
At least we'll go down
swingin', baby!
355
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,806
[ Cheering ]
356
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:59,212
Smash!
[ Laughs ]
357
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,381
Yeah.
358
00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:05,185
Wait!
No one has to die!
359
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,320
I got this.
360
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:11,458
Man, you took the wind
right outta my sail!
361
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:16,696
[ Drum and bass music blaring ]
362
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:17,965
[ Music turns off ]
363
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,299
What are you
doing back here?
364
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,969
I feel like we got off
on the wrong foot.
365
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:27,274
So I brought
you guys some...
366
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,375
golf clubs!
367
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,877
And why would
we give a shit
368
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,011
about some clubs?
369
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,379
Because these are
370
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,482
the most valuable things
on the island.
371
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,951
These clubs
were once used by
372
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:41,989
17-time Masters champion
and noted sex addict...
373
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,357
Tiger Woods!
374
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,561
I love Tiger!
375
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:49,729
Oh, shit.
376
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:50,730
Tiger's
the best, man.
377
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:53,666
I'd have shot his ass
if said Ernie Els.
378
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,668
Game on.
379
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,041
Ooh!
Let it fly.
380
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:02,709
What is this,
Pebble Beach?
381
00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,144
[ Laughs ]
382
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,412
So good.
383
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,180
You mind if I grab one
of these cold ones?
384
00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:08,348
Thanks, bud.
385
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:09,716
So, here's the sitch --
[ Bottle opens ]
386
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:12,319
you guys are on the island,
we're on the island --
387
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,653
I'd like us all
to be friends.
388
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,689
Trust me. You get
these genuine Tigey clubs
389
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,225
out on the black market?
390
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,859
I mean, move over,
Jack Sparrow!
391
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:21,929
Disney's gonna start making
movies about you guys.
392
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:25,165
You're the captains now!
When exactly did Tiger
use these clubs?
393
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,666
Oh, just on
this little course,
394
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,668
I don't know if you've ever
heard of it -- Augusta!
395
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,603
Whoa! That's where
they play The Masters.
Are you kidding me?
396
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,272
It's a tradition
unlike any other.
397
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,573
And why do you
have them?
398
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,943
Because Tigey's a close
personal friend, baby!
399
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,277
What?
I'm a sports agent.
400
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:38,678
I know all the greats.
401
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,348
Aaron Rodgers, Serena Williams,
Chris Bosh --
402
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,615
You're
Chris Bosh's agent?
403
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:45,953
Hell yeah! Me and Bosh-dog
are hella tight!
404
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,887
No, you're not.
405
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:51,258
What?
Chris Bosh's agent
is Greta Liebowitz.
406
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,793
You guys know
"Game On" Greta?
407
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,062
You're pirates!
408
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,529
And what?
Whoa.
409
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,398
Pirates can't
watch sports?
410
00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,466
We can't have hobbies?
411
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,401
Don't stereotype
us, bitch!
412
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,437
Also, bad news,
it was a huge story, bro.
413
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,639
It was all over
ESPN for weeks.
414
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:07,774
What story?
415
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:08,808
Oh!
416
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,110
He doesn't know!
417
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,644
[ Laughs ]
Yo, my man.
418
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:14,547
Chris Bosh slit his own throat
with a samurai sword.
419
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:15,882
He "Kill Bill'd" himself.
420
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,284
Whaaaaat?!
421
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,788
**
422
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:38,171
[ Slice, thud ]
423
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:39,939
Bosh!
424
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,474
[ Gasping ] Samurai.
425
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,343
Bandana:
But that samurai sword was fake,
426
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,345
so they put that lying bitch
in prison for fraud.
427
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:48,548
Greta Liebowitz
is doing deals in jail.
428
00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:51,118
Hey, cop.
429
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,452
Oh.
Hey, buddy.
430
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:56,289
Man. Sure hope Pack
can pull this off, huh?
431
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,757
Yeah. Me too.
432
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,460
It's a real shame he doesn't
have the "Limitless" pill.
433
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:01,261
Hmm.
434
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,462
What?
435
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,497
The pill from that movie,
"Limitless"
436
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,499
starring
Bradley Cooper, where
437
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:09,302
I think he takes a pill
and gets all smart and junk?
438
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:12,005
God, wouldn't it just
be so cool if, like,
439
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,807
that pill existed...
in real life?
440
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,376
Yeah, I guess it would
be pretty cool.
441
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:17,444
Aha!
Ah!
442
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,511
I knew it!
Jesus!
443
00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:20,047
That was my idea!
444
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,615
What, you think Chet came up
with the pill from "Limitless"?!
445
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,317
[ Laughs ] No way.
It was me!
446
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:26,819
And you said
it was cool!
I said it
was pretty cool.
447
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,055
You didn't wanna
team up with me
448
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,356
because I'm an idiot!
449
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,958
But you like my ideas,
and Chet just proved it!
450
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,693
Yeah, I did.
Thanks!
451
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:36,363
So now we can
be partners!
We will never
be partners.
452
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,131
And it's not because
you're an idiot,
453
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,932
it's because
you're a murderer!
454
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,170
Oh, yeah?
455
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:45,672
Well, you'd know, 'cause
you're a murderer, too, Danny.
456
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,508
Because you
murdered all of us!
457
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,680
Do you think it's my fault
that we're all stuck here?
458
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,014
I don't really
know, man.
459
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,250
I haven't really thought
about it like that.
460
00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:58,351
But yeah, I guess so!
461
00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,220
[ Laughing ]
Yeah!
462
00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:02,021
That sucks.
463
00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:04,091
That sucks!
464
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,892
Later, Danny.
465
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:12,365
She taught me
everything I know...
466
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:13,766
She taught you to lie.
467
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,536
Wait. Wait. These aren't
Tiger Woods' golf clubs?
468
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,205
What are you, some
sort of a sociopath?
469
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,739
Do you know what pirates
do to liars?
470
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:22,209
I-I could guess, but I don't
want to stereotype --
471
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:23,276
Capris!
472
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:24,611
Show him.
473
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,747
Oh, my God!
You cut his tongue out!
474
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,417
That's way worse than
what I was gonna guess!
475
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,452
Anything you
want to say
476
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,654
before you never
speak again?
477
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,057
Yeah.
478
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,762
Okay.
Here's the truth.
479
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:45,232
We outnumber you
five-to-one.
480
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,567
We thought if we left you alone,
you'd leave us alone.
481
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,068
But you didn't want
to play it like that.
482
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,138
So if you don't want
an uprising on your hands,
483
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,839
learn to share
the island.
484
00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,746
We'll turn
the music down.
485
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,314
We also want
our stuff back.
486
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:02,882
I can't do that.
And I can't go back
487
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,918
to my people
empty-handed again.
488
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,588
What do you propose?
489
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,761
**
490
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:20,767
How you doing?
491
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,068
You shouldn't
be seen with me.
492
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,770
I don't want people
to hate you, too.
493
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,338
What are you
talking about?
494
00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:26,606
It's my fault
we're stuck here
495
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,509
with the dead birds
and pirates --
496
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:30,977
See that boat?
497
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,745
That's our way
off this island.
498
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,481
I don't know how.
I don't know when.
499
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:38,251
But as long as that boat
is here, we have hope.
500
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:40,287
It's because of you.
501
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,289
I guess
you're right.
Yeah.
502
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:45,091
Man, I gotta stop
talking to Steve.
Talking to Steve?
503
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,794
Uh, yeah, you should
stop talking to Steve.
504
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,296
That guy
is the worst.
505
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:51,631
Even before
he killed Turdhole.
506
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,833
I mean, Steve wears
socks with Tevas.
507
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,368
He should go
to jail for that.
508
00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:56,936
That's should be,
like, 15 to life.
509
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,638
Steve always
has a mustache.
510
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,540
I've never seen him shave.
What is that about?
511
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,808
Where's he get
all the stuff?
512
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,009
Nobody else
has the stuff.
513
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:05,011
Everybody else looks
like me or you.
514
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:07,380
He's always got
a perfect mustache.
515
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,148
That's weird.
Steve is weird.
516
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:10,550
Something's not
right with that guy,
517
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,452
and it's not just
the socks and the Tevas,
518
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,821
it's not the murder,
it's the accent...
519
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,694
Oh, hi, Danny.
520
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,897
I owe you
an apology.
521
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:27,767
I know how it feels to be
falsely called a murderer.
522
00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:31,404
Anyway.
523
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:32,905
I'm...sorry.
524
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:36,175
I'll let you be alone
with your dad.
525
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:37,877
You know my dad...
526
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:41,214
he thought I was
a big, fat idiot.
527
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:42,849
Now matter what I did.
528
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:47,254
So I guess as a way
to give him a big "F-U,"
529
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:48,855
if we get off
this island,
530
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:52,191
I'd be happy to invest
in "RisoGurt."
531
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,493
Really?!
532
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:54,561
Yeah.
533
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:55,895
Oh, wow!
534
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,664
I was thinking we could
change the name.
535
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,899
Maybe "Ris-o-Go" --
No.
536
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,334
Go? Go where?
537
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:03,202
Well, you're taking it
on the go.
538
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:04,404
Nah, it's stupid.
539
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:05,572
No deal.
540
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:07,707
No, it's "RisoGurt,"
or I'm out.
541
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,208
Uh, okay. Fine.
Whatever.
542
00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:10,377
"RisoGurt" it is.
543
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,778
[ Laughing ] Oh.
544
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,713
Yeah! Oh!
Okay, okay.
545
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,181
Oh, there it is.
546
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,549
Partners!
547
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,084
The Gurt Brothers!
548
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,593
It's Pack!
549
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:29,796
Pack's coming back!
550
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:32,131
Everybody,
Pack's back!
551
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:34,601
And he brought
buckets of brews!
552
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:39,071
There's no more music.
553
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:40,607
There's no more music!
554
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:41,974
There's no more music!
555
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:46,413
[ Cheering ]
556
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:47,580
Yes!
557
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,682
You did it,
buddy!
I did it!
558
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,252
Where's your
glasses?
559
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:55,254
I threw 'em
in the ocean.
560
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,824
I don't think I'm gonna be
needing those anymore...
561
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:00,760
What?
38533
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