Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:03,504
Wouldn't it be crazy
if this plane just --
[ Screaming ]
2
00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:06,974
Last season on "Wrecked"...
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,343
We crashed, man!
-We're all gonna die!
4
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:12,213
Hey, no one is gonna die,
okay?
[ Screaming ]
5
00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:14,482
All the airline food
and first-aid stuff --
6
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,817
it's all just gone?
-It's a real nut punch.
7
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,952
The worst kind of punch --
right on the nut.
8
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:22,690
Owen: We are one step away
from living like apes.
9
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:23,891
Why don't we go hunting?
10
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:26,026
And when it comes --
Boom, boom! [ Laughs ]
11
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:28,829
[ Imitates wind whistling ]
12
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,564
[ Imitates gun firing ]
13
00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:32,233
[ Roars ]
[ Screaming ]
14
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:34,102
Florence: I think we need
an election.
15
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:36,070
The new leader of the island --
Steve!
16
00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:37,571
We're creating
a new society.
17
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:40,541
Who's to say what sort of legal
system we should be using?
18
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:42,376
I just figured we'd do it
like on "Law & Order."
19
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:43,677
Yeah, I like that show.
20
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:44,878
Throw him in the pit!
21
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:47,781
This is effed up!
You freaks!
22
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:49,617
I've done
unspeakable things.
23
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,352
Whatever you did,
it can't be that bad.
24
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:55,055
-I ate a dude!
-Holy sh-- wow. Okay.
25
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:58,192
We are all slowly dying
on this hellhole!
26
00:00:58,226 --> 00:00:59,360
[Bleep] you, island!
27
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,129
[ Screaming ]
28
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,196
I'm sorry!
29
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,864
We're not leaving
the island!
30
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,733
[ Gunshot ]
[ All gasp ]
31
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:06,934
Did he just kill
Turdhole?
32
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:10,070
I stuffed up, okay?
[ Sobs ]
33
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,872
-There's a ship!
-We're saved!
34
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,741
[ Cheering ]
35
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,609
The truth is
we're not actually fisherme--
We're pirates,
mother[bleep]
36
00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:17,044
[ Screaming ]
37
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,480
-Danny Wallace?
-You don't know who this is?
38
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,081
His family's
worth billions!
39
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,550
Seriously,
you need to come with us
40
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,785
or we're going to shoot
all your friends otherwise.
41
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:30,291
[ Waves crashing ]
42
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,598
Son of a bitch!
43
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,066
I'm taking another shot.
44
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,301
Hey, come on, Dick.
45
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:41,502
That's not the way
the game's played.
46
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:44,238
I'm sorry, Jerry.
47
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,673
Did I not bail
your company
48
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:48,008
out of a $300 million
cluster[bleep] last year?
49
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,677
You did.
50
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:53,080
I'm sorry.
I-I-I-I didn't hear you.
You did.
51
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:56,250
Well, then if it's okay
with you two jagwagons,
52
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:58,519
I'm gonna take
another shot.
53
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,454
[ Clears throat ]
54
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:02,089
-Dad!
-[ Grunts ]
55
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,524
God damn it, Margot!
56
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:04,858
I was right in the middle
of a shot.
57
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,361
It's Danny.
They're calling off the search.
58
00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:10,130
**
59
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,465
Well, that's that, then.
60
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:14,602
What? Dad,
what if he's still out there?
61
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,103
I'm not paying
for a waste of time.
62
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,438
He's your son.
63
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,706
I've been losing money
on your brother
64
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,341
since the day
he was born.
65
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:21,809
Frankly,
that plane going down
66
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,845
was the best thing that
ever happened to our legacy.
67
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,447
[ Scoffs ]
68
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,616
Now,
if you'll excuse me,
69
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,385
I got to go fish my ball
out of a goddamn lake,
70
00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:34,588
like some kind
of itinerant [grunts]
71
00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:38,326
-Dad?
-[ Grunts ]
72
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,694
-Oh, my God!
-Holy shit! Dick!
73
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:46,734
[ Clank ]
74
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:50,571
Oh, thank God.
75
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:01,515
[ Somber organ music plays ]
76
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,655
I am so sorry
for your loss, Margot.
77
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,189
Thank you, Tom.
78
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:10,358
I don't mean to pester,
79
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,192
but there's still the matter
of the will.
80
00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:13,861
I need to know
how you want me to classify
81
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,829
the disappearance
of your brother.
82
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:19,032
Tom,
my father just passed.
83
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:20,401
It can wait.
84
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,336
Of course.
85
00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:25,373
As for my brother...
86
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:27,541
I know
in my heart of hearts
87
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:33,514
that somewhere, somehow,
he's alive.
88
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,849
Danny!
Get over here now
89
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,286
or I'm going to shove this gun
up your asshole! Whoo!
90
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,754
[ Rapid gunfire ]
[ Laughs ]
91
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:46,327
Get in the boat,
or I'll kill everybody!
92
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,562
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
93
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:51,865
You know, I think that this is
all just a big misunderstanding.
94
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,402
Yeah, Danny is not the son
of a billionaire.
95
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,270
Wh--What are you
talking about?
96
00:03:56,304 --> 00:03:57,905
Look at him.
97
00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:00,574
You don't let yourself go
like this if you've got money.
98
00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,576
Right?
I mean, look at his shoes.
99
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,612
Nobody chooses shoes
like these.
100
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,547
-Ah.
-Look at his teeth!
101
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,048
They're all crooked
and yellow.
102
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,384
These are
poor-people teeth!
103
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:12,085
Also, Danny is fat.
-What?
104
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:15,423
Not like an, "I love life" fat,
but like a fast-food fat.
105
00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:16,924
You know what?
Shut the [bleep] up.
106
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,759
We know who you are.
Tell him.
107
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:22,095
It's true.
108
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,465
-What?
-Really?
109
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:27,301
Cool? We good?
[ Chuckles ]
110
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:28,802
Come on.
111
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,739
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey!
112
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,474
IF you're going to take him,
113
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,976
you're gonna have to kill me
first.
114
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:40,080
Oh!
I didn't think this through!
115
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,815
Please don't kill me!
Oh, God!
116
00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:44,418
Somebody help me, somebody
help me, somebody help me!
117
00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:45,753
Get ready to die.
118
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,588
You're gonna have to
kill me first, too!
119
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,690
-For real?
-For real.
120
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,792
You're gonna have to
kill me first, then him,
121
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,794
and then
you can take Danny.
122
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,963
You'll also have to
kill me first, too, as well.
123
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,699
God, okay. You know what?
Who else wants to die?
124
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,601
Let's get that
out of the way.
125
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,802
Anyone?
126
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:04,805
[ Whispers ] Todd.
127
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,106
[ Quietly ] No.
128
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,376
-[ Whispers ] Todd.
-No.
129
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:09,777
Todd!
130
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:10,978
Oh, God damn it.
131
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:14,047
Fine, me too,
I guess, after them.
132
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,683
Put me down, too.
I'm ready to die!
133
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,451
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-I can die.
134
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:20,320
Okay, okay, everyone just --
just -- just chill out!
135
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,189
Just give us a second
to talk, okay?
136
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,792
Yo, man, what the hell's
wrong with this island?!
137
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,059
This is very unsettling,
okay?
138
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,895
I don't know that I feel
comfortable executing,
139
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,630
what, like, 30 people?
And I got to be honest
with you.
140
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,331
I don't have enough bullets in
the gun to handle this mission.
141
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,300
What? Damn it, man. This is why
you can't be popping off.
142
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,668
Well, I'm sorry.
143
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,069
No, you're not sorry,
'cause we have the same talk.
144
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:38,038
This is --
This is me being sorry!
145
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,373
I have a plan.
146
00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,208
-Whoa!
-No, no!
147
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,510
Are you crazy?!
148
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:44,645
You pull that out,
they're gonna gun us all down.
149
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,013
Yeah, not if I get them
all in a row.
150
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,748
Boom -- one shot
right through all their heads.
151
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,517
-What?
-It could work.
152
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,485
Thank you.
That would never work.
Todd: It might work.
153
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,353
That is a dumb idea.
They'd have to be
in single file.
154
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,022
-We're not doing that.
-Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom!
155
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,524
Here's what we're gonna do,
all right?
156
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:57,891
We'll have to get back
in the dinghy,
157
00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,993
then we go to the boat,
then we get more bullets --
158
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,429
This is a logistical
nightmare, man.
159
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:02,763
-It's very embarrassing.
-Yes.
160
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,331
Jess: They're not at all
how I pictured pirates.
161
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,033
Yeah, I know.
Where's the friggin' parrot?
162
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:07,868
-Neither one of them
has a sword.
-Yeah, no sword.
163
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,837
They're not cartoons.
They are like "Captain
Phillips" pirates!
164
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,905
-Mm, no.
-Uhh, sorry to break it to you,
165
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,874
but "Captain Phillips"
was just a movie.
166
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,543
It's a true story.
167
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,877
I think you're thinking
of "Sully"?
168
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:18,345
Hanks was good in both.
169
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,180
-Yeah, Hanks crushes every film.
-Of course he was.
170
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,949
Of course he was,
but shut the eff up.
171
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,884
-"Road to Perdition."
-Wow.
172
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,252
Listen, and you're not
gonna like this,
173
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,087
but I think we need to call
the Barracuda.
174
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,023
What? No! No, this
was supposed to be a
simple snatch and grab.
175
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,526
Well, it's not! Okay, I didn't
want to tell you this before,
176
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,727
but look over there
at 2:00.
177
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:34,962
You see that? You see that?
178
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,464
-Is that a body?
-Yes, that's a body.
179
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,231
And look, it's fresh.
There's still blood on it.
180
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:41,234
What is wrong with these people?
What, are they murderers?
181
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:42,936
[ Grunting ]
182
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,105
What are you seeing?
Who's shooting who?
183
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,407
Shut up. Just keep still,
you big tree!
184
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:51,979
Okay. They've got big guns --
please!
185
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,147
Karen!
-Sorry. Sorry.
186
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,716
They look soft.
I think we should --
187
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,217
we could make a run
for it.
188
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,453
People whilin' out here, man.
I'm getting creeped out!
189
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:00,621
-Oh.
-What?
190
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:01,655
-Look.
-What?
191
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,591
Oh shit!
192
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,225
Are there people
in that hole?
193
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,927
Are there people
in that hole?
194
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:07,928
There's hole people?
195
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,597
Oh! Oh, they've seen me!
196
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,732
Okay, let me down! Whoa!
[ Thud ]
197
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,735
There's hole people.
They have hole people.
We ain't prepared
for hole people!
198
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,070
I think we need to call
the Barracuda.
199
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:20,173
Okay, fine! Fine.
No popping off.
200
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:21,809
All right, everybody,
listen up!
201
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,611
We were gonna be real nice
to you guys,
202
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,278
but now it's
gonna get messy.
203
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:28,982
We're going to have to bring in
our boss -- the Barracuda.
204
00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,084
-[ Gasps ]
-Very cool name.
205
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:34,421
Y'all in trouble now!
[ All gasp ]
206
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:38,391
**
207
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:51,805
[ Dire Straits'
"Money for Nothing" plays ]
208
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,517
[ No audio ]
209
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:17,330
**
210
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,499
[ Engine sputters ]
211
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,835
[ Engine stops ]
212
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:25,272
[ Backfires ]
213
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:31,879
[ Grunts ]
214
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,683
[Bleep] Shit.
215
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,450
Ugh.
216
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:50,363
What's she gonna do?
217
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:51,999
Danny: She gonna jump
in the water?
218
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,033
[ Screams ]
219
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,835
She's in the water.
220
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,436
[ Screams ]
221
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,473
Oh, that's
gonna be bad.
222
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:12,786
All: Oooh!
-Shit!
223
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,956
[ British accent ]
Jet ski's acting up.
224
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,390
I hate that thing.
They sold us a lemon!
225
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,059
You know, that was a bad choice.
We should not have --
226
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:21,729
we shouldn't have bought --
We should get our money ba--
227
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,897
She's so hot.
She's so hot.
228
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:27,067
Now, what seems to be
the problem?
229
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,636
This.
[ All gasp ]
230
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:33,573
Either you take us all home,
or I blow your head off.
231
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,312
W-What is she doing?
232
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,748
What are you doing?
Owen, what is she doing?!
233
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:41,615
I don't know, man.
234
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,884
[ Gasps ]
235
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,519
[ Gasps, groans ]
236
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,323
[ Groaning continues ]
237
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,460
You're not afraid
to die.
238
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:59,099
And if I shoot you,
then your men will gun us down.
239
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:06,439
So, what you're saying is,
I should just give you the gun
240
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:10,510
and then pray
that you let us live?
241
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,680
**
242
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,114
[ Breathing shakily ]
243
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,783
-[ Sobbing ]
-[ All murmuring ]
244
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,851
-What a bitch.
-I'm so sorry.
245
00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:19,586
Ladies, gentlemen,
246
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:23,757
I am the Barracuda,
and this is my island now.
247
00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,358
But that means
you're my guests.
248
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:27,260
No reason
we can't be civilized.
249
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:28,628
I mean,
she's, like, glowing.
250
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,597
It's confidence,
is what it is.
Yeah.
251
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,833
You.
252
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:36,303
The doughy one.
253
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,839
You're hurt.
Bandana, tend to his wounds.
254
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,341
Tank Top,
prepare my quarters.
255
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,148
Who's the dead man?
256
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,283
Th-That's Turdhole.
257
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,986
His name is Turdhole?
258
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,689
Y-Yeah.
Yeah.
259
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:57,290
That's hilarious.
260
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,392
[ Sighing ]
Oh, my God.
261
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:00,660
Who killed him?
262
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,730
**
263
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,197
[ Grunts ]
264
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,802
Oh, God! They're coming!
265
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:09,903
Pretend we're dead!
266
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:10,838
[ Screams ]
[ Thud ]
267
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:15,575
**
268
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:18,211
This is a mass grave.
Everybody, play dead!
269
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,017
Get up.
270
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:26,186
Damn it, Karen!
You blinked, didn't you?
271
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,454
[ Sternly ] Get up.
272
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:34,895
You -- You killed the one
they call "Turdhole"?
273
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:36,663
No.
Yes, you did.
274
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,398
He came at me, all right?!
He was crazy!
275
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,834
I didn't have any other option!
It was either him --
276
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:44,704
You will dig Turdhole's grave
and give him a proper burial.
277
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:47,074
You two, let's talk.
278
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,410
Thanks for not
playing dead.
279
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:58,285
The way I see it,
we all want the same thing --
280
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,087
you want to get home.
281
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,689
I want to ransom Danny here
for $10 million.
282
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,992
$10 million?
[ Scoffs ]
283
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:08,695
A lot of money.
284
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,899
I've been in the pirate game
a long time,
285
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,433
and I'm tired.
286
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,735
My ship is old,
and my men are stupid.
287
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,771
I don't even bother
to learn their names anymore.
288
00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:19,973
I just call them
by whatever they're wearing.
289
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:23,643
This ransom is my ticket out,
290
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,913
and there's no reason
to complicate that
291
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,981
by killing everyone,
is there?
292
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,582
I don't think so.
No, there's not.
293
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,886
We'll call your father,
and after he sends the money,
294
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,922
we'll have you
picked up here --
295
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,957
All of you.
296
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,758
I mean, that works for me.
[ Laughs ]
297
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,227
Danny?
298
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,761
He's not going to pay.
299
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:42,896
What?
What now?
300
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,431
You think
this is the first time
301
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:46,166
Dick Wallace has been
blackmailed?
302
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,568
He doesn't negotiate
with terrorists.
303
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:52,105
Let's see if he makes
an exception for his only son.
304
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:56,109
Capri Pants, my phone.
305
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:57,744
[ Whispering ]
He's got Capri pants on.
306
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:58,946
[ Whispering ]
I saw.
307
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,447
[ Beeping ]
308
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,150
[ Horns honking in distance ]
309
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:06,753
[ Intercom beeps ]
310
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,856
Woman: Excuse me,
Miss Wallace?
311
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:09,857
You have a call.
312
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:12,192
It's for your father.
313
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,529
This is Margot Wallace.
314
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,131
Then there's been
a mistake.
315
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:20,133
I'm looking to speak
with a Dick Wallace.
316
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:23,370
I'm so sorry,
but my father's dead.
317
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:26,673
He, um...
[clears throat]
318
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:29,042
...died
in a golf cart explosion.
319
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:31,144
What? Dad's dead?!
320
00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,445
Danny?!
[ Beep ]
321
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,981
Margot, it's me!
I'm alive!
322
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,482
I --
[ Gun cocks ]
323
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,384
Danny!
Danny, where are you?
324
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,119
I'm sorry to hear
about your father...
325
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,320
but not as sorry
as you'll be
326
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,721
if you don't meet
my demands.
327
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:44,457
What? What -- What demands?
Who is this?
328
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,327
$10 million,
wired to my account,
329
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:51,131
or I shoot your brother
right between the eyes.
330
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,566
How do I know
it's really him?
331
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,436
Ask him something
only your brother would know.
332
00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,472
Um...
333
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:04,711
Danny, when we were 12,
I ate a bad meatball
334
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:08,415
and accidentally vomited
into your mouth.
335
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,383
Do you remember
what you said?
336
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,556
I said...
337
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:20,027
[ Italian accent ]
"Man, that's-a spicy meatball."
338
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:23,363
Oh, my God, it's you!
Oh, my God!
339
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,532
You're alive!
Ready the funds.
340
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:27,000
We'll call in an hour.
Wait, wait, wa--
341
00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:28,701
[ Phone beeps ]
342
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,537
Looks like
you're going home.
343
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,847
Let me get this
straight --
344
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,051
when Danny's sister
pays the ransom,
345
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,353
we get rescued?
Yeah.
346
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,221
And it's all because
his shitty dad
347
00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:50,057
exploded
in a golf cart?
348
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,058
Pretty much.
349
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,292
That's amazing!
350
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,526
-[ Screams ]
-We're going home!
351
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,929
-Finally!
-[ Cheering, laughter ]
352
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:01,734
Well, that means...
353
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:04,704
maybe we can go back
to Scottsdale.
354
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,406
It's the greatest city
in the world.
355
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,908
[ Laughs, sobbing ]
356
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:12,312
Can you believe it, buddy?
We're going home.
357
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,747
My dad's dead.
358
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,249
**
359
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:17,450
I mean,
he was an asshole,
360
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:19,919
but he was still my dad,
you know?
361
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:25,425
[ Voice breaking ]
I'm never gonna see him again.
362
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,394
[ In rhythm ]
Burn in freaking Hell,
363
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,162
Danny's dumb dad!
Todd!
364
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:30,930
Thanks for the ride, pal!
365
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,099
Whoo, whoo!
366
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:35,668
Todd!
What? Oh.
367
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:36,936
Sorry, Chumbo.
368
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:39,572
Karen: O-kay.
369
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,474
We're ready
to bury Turdhole.
370
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,610
Steve finished digging
the grave.
371
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,745
[ Scoffs ]
Took him long enough.
372
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,181
I mean, four hours
to dig one hole?
373
00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:50,083
It's ridiculous.
374
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,185
God, I once buried
a Maine Coon cat
375
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:53,786
in 15 minutes flat.
376
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:55,455
31 pounds, this thing.
377
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:56,990
You would not have
believed it.
378
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:59,459
[ Rhythmically ] A hole
through his torso,
379
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,528
a hole in our hearts.
380
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:04,297
Turdhole,
dead from a bullet --
381
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:07,034
back to a hole,
from a hole he came.
382
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,968
Next up,
Turdhole in the sky --
383
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,870
Okay, thank you, Chet.
Okay, thank you.
384
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:12,539
Thank you so much for
that poetry.
Yeah. Hell yeah.
385
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,774
I'd like to
say a few words...
386
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,876
about Turdhole,
if that's all right.
387
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,012
I think you said enough
with your gun,
388
00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:20,680
you dumb kiwi bastard.
389
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,015
[ Spits ]
[ All agreeing ]
390
00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:24,317
Hey, hey, hey.
He's clearly sorry, okay?
391
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:26,019
Let's just --
Let's just hear him out.
392
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:27,487
Steve?
-Thank you.
393
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,322
[ Inhales deeply ]
394
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:31,824
I'll never forgive myself
for what I did.
395
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:37,064
Turdhole was the best of us,
and I robbed him of his life.
396
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,531
[ Sobbing ]
397
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,671
[ Voice breaking ]
But as the saying goes...
398
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:47,707
"People don't kill people.
Guns do."
399
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:50,577
-You serious?
-[ All groan ]
400
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:53,413
Why is everyone yelling at me?
What about Karen?
401
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:57,184
Karen didn't murder someone
in cold blood, you dick.
402
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:58,751
Plus,
Karen gets us food.
403
00:16:58,785 --> 00:16:59,852
Happy to do it.
404
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:01,888
Sorry I got weird
back there, gang.
405
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:04,023
Pack: Okay.
Well, that's very sad.
406
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,825
But I think we should put
Turdhole to rest.
407
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:11,030
I'd like to say, uh...
a few words, I think.
408
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:16,436
Turdhole's death was unexpected,
to say the least,
409
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:20,039
but this one...
really hits home.
410
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:23,710
I didn't know Turdhole well,
but I know that some of us
411
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,378
had a, uh...
412
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:29,116
a complicated relationship
with him.
413
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:32,119
He was cold, distant.
414
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:37,056
Maybe he never told us that
he was proud of us,
415
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,591
and maybe it felt sometimes
416
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:41,528
like he wanted us to be
a different man altogether.
417
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,396
And now that he's gone,
you know,
418
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,398
it may feel like we'll never
be able to say
419
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:48,201
some of the things that
we always wanted to say to him,
420
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:51,938
but I know that, deep down...
421
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:54,241
underneath it all that --
422
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:58,745
that Turdhole loved us, so...
423
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:01,080
Okay, I think
we've spent enough time here.
424
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:03,216
Why don't we roll Turdhole
in this ditch, huh?
425
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,917
-Oh.
-Yep.
426
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:07,086
[ Grunts ]
427
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:10,056
Hold on,
what the hell?
428
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,959
Uh, guys, you're gonna
want to see this.
429
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:17,130
-[ All murmuring ]
-Oh, my God! Are those --
430
00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:20,633
Yep, Nazi symbols,
tattooed all over his body.
431
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:23,436
The Nazis famously
hated the Jews...
432
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:24,937
killed a ton of them.
We know, Karen!
433
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,806
Yeah, thank you!
Oh, my God,
there's more down here.
434
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,941
-What? Ugh.
-Oh, yeah?
-Oh, God!
435
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,109
That looks like Calvin,
436
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:32,412
from the famous comic strip
"Calvin and Hobbes,"
437
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,181
except now he's wearing
an SS uniform
438
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:36,115
and peeing on the word
"non-whites."
439
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:38,151
Holy shitballs.
Wow.
440
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:39,652
Turdhole was a Nazi.
441
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:41,954
How did we not
see this?
442
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,323
Hey Turdhole.
443
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:44,691
Heil.
444
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,861
That means I didn't kill
an innocent man.
445
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,797
[ Chuckles ]
I killed a Nazi!
446
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,665
You hear that?
I'm not a murderer!
447
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:54,467
I'm a hero!
[ All disagree ]
448
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,869
Still a murderer.
You didn't kill a Nazi.
449
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:59,005
You killed a guy
who happened to be a Nazi.
450
00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:01,140
Nah, it's the same thing.
Not the same thing.
Pack: It's not the same thing.
451
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:03,443
I'm like a war hero!
You're definitely not
a war hero.
452
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:06,213
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
453
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,614
It's time.
454
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,350
[ Phone beeps ]
455
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,285
[ Ringing ]
It's ringing!
456
00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,454
Shut up.
457
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,955
This is Margot.
458
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,957
It's been an hour.
Do we have an agreement?
459
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,393
I actually have
a counteroffer for you.
460
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:21,694
I'm listening.
461
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:24,531
How about instead
of $10 million,
462
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,132
I give you this --
463
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,401
[ Fart ]
464
00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:36,876
[ Fart continues ]
465
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,178
[ Fart stops ]
466
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,213
[ Farts ]
467
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:42,815
[ Scoffs ]
Was that a fart?
468
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,251
You're damn right
it was a fart.
469
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:45,852
And that's all that
you're getting from me
470
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:49,756
because I'm not paying you
a Goddamn dime!
471
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:51,858
[ Farts ]
472
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,893
You think we won't
kill him?
473
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,028
We'll kill him
right now!
474
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:57,196
Oh, I hope you do
475
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,931
because I just talked
to our lawyer, Tom,
476
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:01,234
and it turns out,
if Danny comes back alive,
477
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:03,870
he's entitled to over
half of my fortune.
478
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:06,839
What? No.
I'm not sharing with Danny!
479
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,409
The best part is
that Tom can't say shit
480
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:11,778
because of a little thing called
"attorney-client privilege."
481
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:14,046
Isn't that right, Tom?
482
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,348
I loved your father.
483
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,384
Shut your old man face!
484
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,051
Margot, please!
Don't do this!
485
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:21,187
[ Mocking ] Margot, please.
Don't do this.
486
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,423
You're such an idiot, Danny!
487
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,692
When your plane went down,
all I had to do was
488
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,895
get rid of Dad
and the money was mine.
489
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:32,365
But you said Dad died
in a golf cart explosion.
490
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,567
After I poisoned him!
491
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,636
I gave him the heart attack,
492
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,771
and then he died
in a literal explosion.
493
00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:42,742
It was so...awesome.
494
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,577
And now the money's mine.
495
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:47,213
[ Laughs ]
496
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,615
Bye!
497
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:50,917
[ Dial tone ]
498
00:20:55,154 --> 00:21:00,493
**
499
00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:03,496
So...there's been a setback.
500
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:05,665
We will no longer be
ransoming Danny.
501
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,300
So, then,
that means you guys
502
00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:08,968
will be on your way,
or what?
503
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:10,169
[ Scoffing ] Oh, no.
504
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:12,339
I've invested too much
into this.
505
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:15,007
We're staying,
and we are going to rape...
506
00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:16,275
[ All gasp ]
507
00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:17,644
...this island...
[ Sighs of relief ]
508
00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:20,146
Oh, yeah, that's fine.
...for all it's worth.
509
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:21,648
We'll start
by salvaging the plane,
510
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:23,583
and then we'll figure out
what to do with the rest of you.
511
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,486
Until then, we're just gonna
have to learn to live together.
512
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:28,254
Bruce:
We can do that.
513
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:31,824
Or we can take this island back
right now!
514
00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:34,260
[ All gasp ]
515
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:37,029
Oh, shit!
516
00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:40,667
[ All screaming ]
517
00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:41,968
Oh, God!
518
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:43,703
Oh, my God!
519
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:46,205
[ Screaming ]
520
00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:48,975
Anyone else want
to try something?
521
00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:51,511
-No, no, no, no, no, no!
-I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.
522
00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:53,212
'Cause I'd hate to have
to tell your Nazi hunter
523
00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,548
to dig another grave.
524
00:21:55,582 --> 00:21:57,484
**
525
00:21:57,517 --> 00:21:59,652
I'm a Nazi hunter!
[ Chuckles ]
526
00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:01,521
It's official!
527
00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:03,590
[ Bruce groans ]
37343
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
