All language subtitles for The Goldbergs s03e21 Rush.eng

Adult Adam: The '80s had
a lot of pop trends,

and my sister was into all of them.

It all began with New Kids On The Block.

Danny, Donnie, Joe, Jon, Jordan.

Danny, Donnie, Joe, Jon, Jordan.

Most of these trends
lasted only a week or so,

some even shorter.

Hey. Girls just want
to have fun, am I right?

- [Giggles]
- And it's over.

In fact, the styles changed so fast

that at school it was nearly
impossible to keep up,

especially for Geoff Schwartz.

'Sup, Erica?

Really feeling the
flock today, am I right?

Ugh. Flock of Seagulls
is so last week, Geoff.

We're all about Debbie Gibson now.

But I used an entire
jar of honey for this.

- [Bees buzzing]
- I've been fighting off bees all morning.

I told you. I'm not gonna date you

just 'cause we love the same music.

Yeah, Bro. If anything,

you should hate her guts
for the crap she listens to.

Whoa, I'm sorry.

Do you have a problem, Johnny Atkins?

My problem is your music sucks.

Big mistake, Bro.

- Yo, back me up, JTP.
- That's a polite pass, Bro.

Your hair suggests you don't know
what you're doing with your life.

Well, you dodged a bullet, homeboy.

For your sake, back off my girl.

- Not your girl.
- I love you, Erica!

- You will be!
- You guys need to get a clue.

There's only one band on
the planet that matters.

- Rush.
- Here we go.

- Not again.
- Rush sucks.

- I hate you.
- Ugh.

They're not the canned garbage

that you listen to.

They're real. They're from Canada.

It's super-cold, so they have
to rock super-hard to stay warm.

I'll take your word for it.

Why take my word for it

when you can come to my Corolla
and find out for yourself?

Unless you're afraid.

Of being alone with you in
your rusted-out piece of crap?

For sure.

Hey. Johnny Atkins respects women.

He has bad hair days, too.

Not many, though.

You ready to step
into the musical cocoon

and emerge a
rock-'n'-roll butterfly?

Just play it so I can be proven right.

[Rush's "Tom Sawyer" plays]

In that moment, my
sister's mind unlocked...

as she was ushered
into a world of prog rock.

It was an instant attraction

in more ways than one.

I don't even know what's
happening right now.

Oh, my... This is a terrible mistake.

- One you'll make again.
- Don't tell anyone.

I can promise that I won't.

But I definitely will.

There's one thing you
should know about me.

I'm painfully honest.

You're a fox, but you also wear
too much makeup like a clown.

See?

-
The river

Knock it off, you two.

You're on school grounds.

And you're in my parking spot.

The window's rolled down
so I know you can hear me.

Hello.

Cut it out.

Synced and corrected by Nest0r
www.addic7ed.com

It was April 1980-something,
the morning of my birthday.

And that meant one thing.

Gah! There's my little
birthday Schmoops!

All I want for my birthday is
for you to not call me Schmoops.

Aww, you're cute.

So, look, I know how much you
like big Hollywood directors,

like Steven Lucas and
George Spielberger,

so I special-ordered you this.

Don't hurt your little arms. It's heavy.

My own Oscar?

[Laughs] Read it!

"Best Son".

Yes, you are! And that is gonna go great

with the big Hollywood-themed
birthday party I'm throwing you.

[Laughs] Speech!

[Groans] For once, can't
I plan my own birthday?

What?

What is this?

[Gasps]

"Best Son"?

You gave Adam a golden trophy?

That squeaky-voiced turd?

Honey, it's not what you think.

Oh, I think this is
exactly what I think.

This tiny golden man

is nonliving proof of
what I've always known.

[Trophy thuds] Adam's your favorite.

That is not true.

I love all my kids equally.

I don't have a "Best Son" trophy.

The only things you ever gotten me

are expensive gifts from the store.

Take it. This trophy represents

everything that's wrong
with my life in this house.

No. I want my own trophy

'cause I'm better than
Adam at everything.

Can he soothe animals with just
some peanut butter and a smile?

Can he eat an entire
apple in just two bites?

Hmm? Give me an apple right now.

[Moans, groans]

[Muffled] Bad start. Give me another.

Don't waste my apples.

Look, I'm sorry you feel this way,

but there's nothing that'll convince me

that I play favorites.

Barry: See that?

Adam's photo is twice the size of ours!

This is a misunderstanding.

The photo guy made it the wrong size,

and I couldn't return it.

Please. I've seen you return a
dead goldfish, used ChapStick,

and a bathing suit Dad wore for
10 straight days in Puerto Rico.

That liner was destroyed.

Destroyed.

I know the truth and so does he.

Just look at that smug little
face lording it over me.

Adam?! Where are you?! You're so dead!

Oh, no. What have I done?

You've woken me up.

Barry thinks I got a
bigger photo of Adam

'cause he's my favorite.

Every parent has a secret favorite.

Mine's Erica.

You can't say that.

I don't have a favorite.

Beverly. Come on. Come on.

It's Adam, damn it.

He's my cute little munchkin
who sweats when he sleeps

and then I flip the pillow
over to the cool side and...

[Giggles]

And then he whispers, "Love you, Mama,"

and then I just want to
gobble his delicious face!

Okay.

My God. Barry's right.

Well, starting now, he is
gonna know what it's like

to be my number-one son.

Get back here! You will pay
for what your picture did!

I was just reading a book!

This makes no sense!

As my mom was coming to terms

with who her favorite child was,

my sister had no doubts who her
new favorite band was.

Wait. What is happening?

Why are you covering up Debbie G.?

'Cause I discovered
something infinitely better...

Rush.

Holy crap.

You made out with Johnny Atkins.

You're a bad little girl.

How could you possibly know that?

Because he's the only
other person I know

who's obsessed with
that lame wizard band.

Also, he's telling everyone.

Oh, God, I knew I shouldn't
have made out with him.

You don't actually like him, do you?

I don't know.

He's like a cocky band nerd,

but he's also honest and deep,

but he also has a ponytail.

It's so confusing.

I've dated the biggest
jerks on the planet.

Trust me.

You need to end up with
a nice guy like Barry.

- [Gags]
- Okay, please don't gag

when I mention your
brother's name. [Gags]

- [Gags]
- Why are you gagging?

I'm sorry, but her gaggy
face is making me gag.

[Gags]

- [Gags]
- [Gags]

- [Gags]
- [Gags]

- [Gags]
- [Gags]

[Gags] Stop.

[Doorbell rings]

Yo. It's Johnny Atkins.

Yo. So?

So, Erica's expecting me.

Mind if I just pop
upstairs, chill for a few?

Yes, very much.

All right. Then give her this flier.

Battle of the Bands this weekend.

Speed Up's gonna win top prize.

- Speed Up?
- My Rush cover band.

Thinking Erica could join us

'cause our guitarist got
arrested for selling...

- fudge.
- Fudge.

So good, it's illegal.

Okay.

Well, are you gonna have her call, or...

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

I'm not letting Ponytail Johnson
anywhere near my daughter.

Trying to keep them from each
other is a classic mistake.

It'll only make her want him more.

Just like with you and Bev.

Please. You loved me.

No. I hated you real bad.

Thought you were a stubborn grump.

First night, I nicknamed you "El Lumpo."

'Cause you're a lump.

Yeah, yeah. I get it.

Really bad-mouthed you to everyone.

Backfired big-time,

so when you think about
it, you're welcome.

This is hurtful.

Just leave it alone for a week

and it'll go away on its own.

Was someone at the door?

I'm not sure. Murray,
did someone stop by?

No, he did not.

While my dad was ignoring Pops' advice,

my mom was about to turn
all her attention to Barry.

[Clattering]

The heck is this?

Just a "Best Son" trophy
for my real best son.

Here's the truth.

You are an amazing athlete
with a ton of trophies.

I only gave Adam one for "Best Son"

so he wouldn't be
jealous of your greatness.

See, this makes sense.

And to prove you
really are the best son,

I'm gonna focus all my
time and energy on you.

Just please don't say anything to Adam.

And hurt his feelings?

I would never.

Sorry, sucka! Barry's number one.

- The trophy's mine forever.
- Cool.

Hope you enjoyed your day as "Best Son"

'cause now Mom's only gonna focus on me.

- Ha!
- Wait.

Did she really say that?

Absolutely.

Oh, my God.

You literally are the best brother ever.

And the best son.

My mother's rejection of me

is the most wonderful
birthday gift I could ever get.

- It's your birthday?
- From the bottom of my heart,

thank you, Barry Norman Goldberg.

[Laughs]

You're welcome.

I feel like you're trying
to tell me something,

but I'm too excited to
figure out what it is!

Hello, Father.

Tell me something.

By chance does this
"Battle of the Bands" flier

look at all familiar to you?

Just say what you're gonna say.

I saw Johnny Atkins at school today.

He told me you slammed
the door in his face.

Oh, that.

Yeah, I only did that because
he's a piece of [bleep].

- You get it.
- [Singsong] Gonna backfire.

How could you be so shallow and judgy?

- You don't even know him.
- Mistake.

I know he's a teenage boy

who associates with fudge dealers.

Here it comes.

Johnny's, like, super deep.

He introduced me to Rush,

he makes wax hands,

and he even wrote me a poem.

- I'll read it.
- Please don't.

"Her eyes sparkle like the sun.

Erica."

Don't bash the poem.

I hate that poem.

And I hate that boy.

You are not going out with him.

What?! You can't tell me who to date!

And yet, I just did.

It's happening.

Will you stop singing ominous warnings?

It's done.

[Hums]

But, of course, it had only begun.

["Tom Sawyer" plays]

Hey. Erica. [Music stops]

What'd I say?

You said no going out,

which is exactly why we're staying in.

That's not in the spirit of
our agreement and you know it.

Yo. Dad-bro.

Can you close the door?

You're letting all the good vibes out.

Shut up, Ponytail Johnson!

I joined Johnny's band,

so we're gonna be practicing here a lot.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

No, I won't excuse you!

What the hell?!

Don't do that!

Do not kiss him!

It's my garage!

You hear me?! That's my garage!

It was only the first day
of Barry being the number-one son

and I was already reaping the benefits.

Schmoopaloo, Mama has
some truly tragic news.

Barry's hockey game this weekend

is at the exact same time as your party.

You're... You're not gonna be there?

[Sighs] Of course we'll rush right back,

but as far as the planning
goes and everything...

I'll plan it myself.

You don't have to worry about anything.

Okay. Headed to practice.

Not yet. Come and eat
this chili I made you.

No, I'm not gonna eat a
bowl of chili before I play.

It'll slow me down!

Nonsense. It'll give you strength.

It's Mama's special power chili.

I don't want it.

It's loaded with meat and beans.

I don't want it.

It's Mama's special power chili.

I'm not gonna eat your
special power chili.

Look at the meat and beans.

I see the meat and beans.

I just don't want to
eat the meat and beans.

Eat the damn meat and
beans, get some power,

then wash it down with some
bone-strengthening buttermilk.

No milk and no chili. I have
to skate for three hours!

That's why you need the buttermilk.

It coats the mouth and belly
from all the power-giving chili.

- [Groans] No.
- There you go.

It's so beany and meaty.

Feel the beefy power.

My tongue can't fight the beefiness.

Shh. Mama knows.

Now you're ready.

Just go make a boom-boom
and I'll take you.

But I just have practice.

Oh, I'm going to every practice.

In fact, I made these

deviled energy eggs for the ride.

What just happened?

You're her favorite.

Enjoy. [Chuckles]

Y-You got a little something on your...

Ah, never mind.

As Barry was surprised by what
came with being "Best Son,"

my dad gave Erica a shock of her own.

Murray: What do you know?

All of your closest friends, classmates,

and your teacher here in our den.

Hey there, Erica.

Why is my guidance counselor

wearing shorts in my living room?

Please have a seat.

Last thing I'm gonna do is be
negative about Ponytail Johnson,

but... Hoo-hoo!... They sure will.

The guy's a total tool bag, Erica.

See? I didn't say it.
Your best friend Lacey did.

- Lainey.
- Is this a friggin' joke?

His face is a joke.

And his poetry is awful.

And the dude only wears Rush shirts.

Yeah, it's like, try a polo, Bro.

Or a V-neck. I mean, what's his deal?

- What's he hiding?
- Shut up, JTP!

My love life is none of your business.

And you... Why are you
even here? You're a teacher.

I'm here to guide you
away from dating Atkins.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's an adult man

living amongst the student
body as an undercover cop.

- Like "21 Jump Street"?
- Mm-hmm.

That makes sense to me.

You completely ambushed me.

I can't believe you.

Not me.

Your friends, your teacher,

and that excitable boy
who so clearly loves you.

Who is it? I'll fight him.

Well, I don't care
what any of you think.

In fact, if I'm getting rid
of anybody, it's you guys.

- Yeah, not buying it.
- Well, you better buy

'cause I choose Johnny
over all you assclowns.

- No, you don't.
- I love the guy.

You're stubborn and digging in.

We'll see who's
stubborn when I marry him

and don't invite any
of you to the wedding.

So, I was promised pizza.

Where are we on that?

Also, can we add some wings?

I just find that they
make any situation better.

Eating with your hands is fun.

Out.

Yep, my steadfast sister
was doubling down on love

while my brother wasn't sure

how much more love he could take.

Hey! Ad Rock! [Chuckles]

How about a thirst-quenching Ecto Cooler

for the birthday boy, huh?

I'm not taking Mom back.

Pfft! What?

No.

But now that you bring it up,

don't you think Mom would
be a killer party planner?

I got that covered.

Check this out.

The hell is this crap?

The single greatest party
in eighth-grade history.

It's an overwhelming
feast for the senses,

and I have you to thank for it.

Please?

My stomach can't take any more

of that chili meat and buttery milk.

You got to take Mom back.

Never! From this point on,

you're gonna be her
delicious snuggle monster,

and I'm gonna be left all alone.

Don't you dare say that!

And this isn't just for this week.

This will stretch
months, years, decades,

until she moves in with you.

How can you be so cruel?

This is what you asked for, Pal.

You brought Mom's love on yourself.

I hope no one comes to your
ridiculous awesome party!

I have that all in my Trapper Keeper.

Barry was miserable being
the new number-one son.

Meanwhile, Erica's band

was making my dad even more miserable.

This is crazy.

He's been playing the
drums for over an hour.

You've brought this upon yourself, Murr.

It should have worked. I
didn't say a word to the girl.

Instead of telling her yourself,

you had everyone else in
her life gang up on her.

You took a love forbidden by her father

and made it forbidden by the world.

Oh, damn it. It sounds romantic.

[Drumsticks clatter]

Wow. That's really good. You wrote that?

Yeah. And I never would have thought

to put a 10-minute
drum solo in the middle.

I just Rush'd it up.

We're actually really good.

And, like, we're
actually pretty good, too.

Oh, boy. Here we go.

Yo. It's gonna be one of those.

I told you.

Johnny Atkins doesn't
put labels on things.

The thing is, I kind
of went out on a limb

and told everyone that

even though they think
you're human trash,

I'll be with you forever,

so, yeah, kind of locked into this.

You love me. I get it.

Johnny Atkins is a roller
coaster that only goes up.

Oh, God, no.

I mean, you've for sure
grown on me, but yuck.

So you're saying the
roller coaster goes down?

No. I definitely think

we should take things to the next level,

even though I'm kind of like, "Ehhh."

This is rocking my world
and not in a good way.

Look on the bright side.

One day we'll get married
so I can prove a point,

and that's not nothing, fella.

[Door closes] Wait. What about practice?

Battle of the Bands is this weekend.

For me. You're out.

Mostly 'cause what you said sucked.

[Door opens, closes]

It was the day before my birthday party,

and I was discovering
that planning it without my mom

was a lot harder than I thought.

I don't care if it'll
get the other kids sick.

I promised drinks with fog!

Why would a clown need
to see a picture of me

before he agrees to come?

You can't make me a camera cake?

You advertise specialty cakes!

Oh, you're a fraud!

This is a disaster, man!

You want to talk disaster?

I've eaten so much power
chili my body has adapted.

It's starting to crave
it like water or air.

My party's tomorrow and
the vendors are impossible.

I'm a boy. I can't plan
the hugest party ever!

Mom could have done it easily.

Too bad she's busy ruining my life.

I need her.

Say it again!

- Say it!
- I take it back.

Adam needs you!

Focus on him and not me.

What? What's wrong?

He misses being your little Schmoopaloo.

I admit it. He's the best son.

Take him back.

Aww. You really miss your mama?

Okay, fine. I do.

I miss you getting me
everything I ever wanted

through fear, intimidation,
and remorseless perseverance.

That is the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me.

Come to Mama.

But I still feel awful.

I just can't live with the idea

that you think I love
Adam more than you.

No. Adam's your baby.

Always will be.

And, man, I am more than okay with that.

Okay, so party's tomorrow.
What exactly do you need?

- Everything.
- Everything?!

Don't panic. Give me a phone book.

Mama's got to see a
man about a mini horse.

As my mom set out to save
the party of the year,

my dad realized he needed to save Erica

from throwing away something she loved.

Can we talk?

Like, just you and me,

or is everyone who matters in my life

standing outside the door?

I messed up.

I, uh, wanted to be better

than all those other
crazy dads and protect you,

but I only made things way worse.

It's just...

It's not easy seeing

my peanut all grown up and dating guys.

Well, I guess we both got carried away.

I mean, I was ready
to stay with some dude

just to prove you wrong.

And the worst part?

I'm really gonna miss
being in that cover band.

Just because you broke
up with the guy...

doesn't mean you got to
break up with the band.

Battle of the Bands. Who's in?

Me. I'll literally do whatever you want.

Not you.

I want to form a Rush
cover band, just the girls.

Dude, does it have to be Rush?

Answer after you listen.

["Tom Sawyer" plays]

Whoa. Whoa.

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

I love you, Erica!

Okay, everybody! Party faces right now!

And 3, 2, 1!

-
Don't put him down as arrogant

And so began the most epic

middle-school party of all time.

-
Riding out the day's events

Whoa!

[Instrumental break]

Cue the mini horse.

[Cheering]

Mini horse!

- In mini sneakers!
-
The world is, the world is

[Cheering]

[Whinnies]

Awesome camera cake!

[Cheering]

That fateful night, my sister
realized she didn't need a boy

to achieve her rock-'n'-roll dreams,

and I realized I may not
have been the best son,

but I definitely had the best mom.

And obviously the best dance moves.

Beverly: Well, Adam hopes
some day to make real movies,

like his idol, Steven Spielberg.

Maybe someday this will
become a real one for you.

Adam: I'd like to thank everybody.

My family.

And my friends.

And... And everybody
for making this possible.

Thanks for being there
when I needed you.

[Ding!]

[Cheering]

'Sup, Erica?

Want to go out to my Jetta

and listen to a little "Exit...
Stage Left"?

Rush? That's, like, so last week.

We're into The Cure now.

Can you guys, like, clue
me in a little next time?

This horsehair ponytail was expensive!

Whoa.

Are you me?

I've had way too much fudge today.

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