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Adult Adam: Back in the '80s,
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my mom was obsessed with Thanksgiving.
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When it came to her cooking,
everything had to be perfect.
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She even made practice
turkeys fore the big day.
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- Mmm!
- I need feedback.
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That's good!
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- But not great.
- What?
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I'm going again.
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To my mom, it was a time for family.
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For my dad, it was a hassle.
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Why do we got to schlep all
the way here to go shopping
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when we got a perfectly good market
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a minute away from our house?
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Well, I thought this time of year,
15
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a change of scenery would...
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Oh, look! Murray, there's your father!
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What are the odds we'd run into him
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in a totally random grocery store?
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You got a bag boy to
tip you off, didn't you?
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So, I have eyes everywhere.
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What? Does that make
me some kind of villain?
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Bevy, every year you ask me to invite
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that spiteful, miserable
man to Thanksgiving.
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You got to give it up.
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You're right.
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He's your father, and I have no right to...
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Hi! Ben, look! It's your son... Murray!
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You remember Murray.
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Hi, Dad. How you doing?
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My foot's still got that
thing. And I need eye surgery.
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Yeah, good stuff.
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So, any plans for the holiday, Ben?
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Yeah, I got it right here.
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This compartment is the stuffing.
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That's the sweet potatoes.
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That gray circle... that's the turkey.
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Come on, wouldn't a home-cooked meal
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be much better than that?
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That depends. You know what happened
the last time I ate your cooking.
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That was right after we got married.
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That was ages ago.
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Your turkey was drier than the sun.
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It was like eating the
inside of a vacuum bag
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filled with pencil shavings.
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I did not enjoy the meal.
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You? No.
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It was the first time I'd ever
cooked Thanksgiving by myself.
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My kids were little. They
were hanging all over me.
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I didn't even have a
baster. I was baster-less!
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No baster could fix your food crimes.
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Sorry, pal. You deserve better.
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Nice seeing you, Dad.
53
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Eh, it was okay.
54
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This is not over.
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You invite that callous, hurtful
man to Thanksgiving right now!
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See, I see why you're hocking
me all the time to invite him.
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You just want to show my
dad that you're a good cook.
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The best cook.
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And family is important and... stuff.
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Well, it's not gonna happen.
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It's bad enough you invite
my moron brother every year.
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Oh, stop. Marvin's not that bad.
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Gobble, gobble! Hide your turkeys, ladies!
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[Both laugh]
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You little muskrat!
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Pfb-pfb-pfb-pfb! Oh!
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Looking good, Uncle Marvin.
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I'm feeling good. I lost 10 pounds.
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I gained 6, lost 4, gained 2.
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Also, your voice is weird.
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It is. I... I'm hoping
this isn't where it lands.
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[Chuckles] That's the spirit.
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[Deep voice] Mur-man!
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Ahh!
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Hey!
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What's with the, uh, pajamas?
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You mean these certified medical scrubs?
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As you know, I'm almost a
fully licensed chiropractor.
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Ah. Good. Another one of
your half-baked schemes.
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Schemes? What schemes?
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First, you were breeding alpacas.
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Then you were selling alpaca wool.
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Then came alpaca burgers.
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What the hell was I supposed to
do with a dozen dead alpacas?!
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Regardless...
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Those were all obvious
steps to chiropractology.
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I don't know if that's the official title.
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They reveal that to us at graduation.
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That's something to look forward to.
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See that? Negativity.
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I could take away all of your stress
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just with a single... "Tktk!"...
crack of your cervical spine.
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[Scoffs] No.
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- Come on. Come on! Come on!
- Aah! No!
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I'm serious. Stay away from me.
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- Hey, come over here. Come on.
- No, no, no, no.
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- Don't struggle. Come on.
- No. No!
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I don't want to break anything.
99
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- Unh!
- Get off me!
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This feels dangerous and unsafe!
101
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It is if you fight it!
102
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Oh, I hate Thanksgiving! I hate it so much!
103
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- I'm a healer! Let me heal you!
- Make it stop!
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I'm twisted up inside
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but nonetheless, I feel the need to say
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I don't know the future
107
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but the past keeps
getting clearer every day
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It was November 20th, 1980-something,
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and pops was ready to pass
down a Thanksgiving tradition.
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Erica, guess what. I got something for you.
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- A car?
- No.
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- Did you get me a car?
- No.
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Did anyone get a car?
114
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No. What is it with you
kids and wanting a car?
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It's kind of like, we don't have a car,
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but we want one.
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Like a car.
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Look, this is even better.
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I want you to take over
the Thanksgiving toast.
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My grandfather passed it down
to me, and now I pick you.
121
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Ha! You have to keep a
lame-ass family tradition alive.
122
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You see, that's why I'm
picking your sister...
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'cause she's the heart
and soul of this family,
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who'll keep this tradition alive.
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Lies!
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I'm the heart, soul,
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and deadly fists of this family, not her!
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- I want to do it!
- You're right, kiddo.
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If you really want to
be toastmaster general,
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then you deserve a fair shot.
131
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You're so dead.
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Saying words good is my specialness.
133
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To life!
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You're clearly picking me.
135
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I'm picking you.
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To life.
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Dad, I... I know you're swamped
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watching your big football contest.
139
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Go, blue team.
140
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I actually like the green team.
141
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Fun stuff.
142
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Listen, I don't want to waste your time,
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but I thought you should know
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that I might be working on
my best video project yet.
145
00:04:42,111 --> 00:04:43,611
W... what's happening?
146
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I just need six more hours
of therapeutic massage
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under my belt before I'm board-certified.
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This isn't a good time.
149
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Gotcha.
150
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,752
[Popping lips]
151
00:04:51,821 --> 00:04:53,988
Anyway, now that I'm getting older
152
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and growing as an artist,
153
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I'm venturing away from robot movies
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and fart-based comedy
skits to more serious work,
155
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with real emotional impact.
156
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,633
This still isn't a good time.
157
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The moment felt right.
158
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It's not.
159
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Roger that.
160
00:05:09,105 --> 00:05:10,571
Beep, bap, bee-bap, boop
161
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Point is, I need a better wide-angle lens
162
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to fully realize my vision,
but they're quite pricy.
163
00:05:15,678 --> 00:05:18,379
My vision is I won't have any
children asking me for money.
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Go away!
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Okay, okay, but this counts as an hour.
166
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I'm gonna go get the
paperwork for you to sign.
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00:05:24,854 --> 00:05:27,989
Look, all I want you to do
is watch what I have already.
168
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I think you'll see what I mean.
169
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:32,093
That year, I discovered the
song "Cat's in the Cradle."
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Like any teenage kid, the catchy chorus
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and "my dad is a jerk" lyrics spoke to me.
172
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Harry Chapin:
and the cat's in
the cradle and the silver spoon
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little boy blue and the man in the moon
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Adult Adam: What I didn't realize...
it spoke to my dad even more.
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But we'll get together then
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you know we'll have a good time then
177
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Oh. That song.
178
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[Remote clicks]
179
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Always manages to hit you hard, you know?
180
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I guess. I... it's only halfway done.
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You finish it.
182
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Wait. For real?
183
00:06:06,863 --> 00:06:08,529
Yeah. Before I change my mind.
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00:06:08,598 --> 00:06:11,198
Turns out "Cat's in the
Cradle" made my dad feel things,
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00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:14,235
and like any good son, I'd
use this to manipulate him.
186
00:06:14,303 --> 00:06:17,772
Hey, Dad, they just released a
new Dungeons & Dragons module.
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00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,173
Can you drive me to the hobby shop tonight?
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I understand none of that,
but I feel good saying no.
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00:06:21,411 --> 00:06:22,676
I'm off to work.
190
00:06:22,745 --> 00:06:25,579
Okay, but when you coming
home, Dad? I don't know when.
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All I did was subliminally
remind him of the song.
192
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We'll get together then.
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Damn.
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00:06:32,188 --> 00:06:33,621
Let's just go now.
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00:06:33,689 --> 00:06:35,289
As I was working over my old man,
196
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Barry was working out new toast.
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00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:38,793
"F" is for family.
198
00:06:38,861 --> 00:06:40,995
"A" is for how awesome this family is.
199
00:06:41,064 --> 00:06:42,430
"M" is for "mmm, turkey."
200
00:06:42,498 --> 00:06:44,665
"I" is for my eyes that get to see you all.
201
00:06:44,734 --> 00:06:46,400
"L" is for LL Cool J,
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00:06:46,469 --> 00:06:48,702
who probably also celebrates Thanksgiving.
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"Y"?
204
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Because he's American, like us.
205
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Family!
206
00:06:53,409 --> 00:06:54,642
[Clears throat]
207
00:06:54,710 --> 00:06:56,744
I mean, you got charm.
208
00:06:56,813 --> 00:06:58,512
Uh, but what you don't
have is a good speech,
209
00:06:58,581 --> 00:07:00,514
or charm. I just said
that to cushion the blow.
210
00:07:00,583 --> 00:07:02,683
Damn it. What am I supposed to do?
211
00:07:02,752 --> 00:07:04,485
Erica's so smart and emotional
212
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:07,521
and has these female hormones
that make her feel stuff.
213
00:07:07,590 --> 00:07:09,056
How do I compete with that?
214
00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:11,158
Well [Clears throat] the
first thing you got to do
215
00:07:11,227 --> 00:07:12,793
is lie down and let your Uncle Marvin
216
00:07:12,862 --> 00:07:14,728
crackle your spine bones
and your neck tendons
217
00:07:14,797 --> 00:07:15,696
to release toxins.
218
00:07:15,765 --> 00:07:16,864
- Okay.
- Okay?
219
00:07:16,933 --> 00:07:18,199
- Okay!
- Okay!
220
00:07:20,169 --> 00:07:21,068
Right there?
221
00:07:21,137 --> 00:07:22,670
Yeah. Facedown. There you go.
222
00:07:22,738 --> 00:07:24,472
Got to get a good stretch on here.
223
00:07:24,540 --> 00:07:26,006
This flank.
224
00:07:26,075 --> 00:07:26,974
Hey!
225
00:07:27,043 --> 00:07:28,142
Aah! Ohh!
226
00:07:28,211 --> 00:07:29,610
That... that hurts my body.
227
00:07:29,679 --> 00:07:30,644
That means it's working.
228
00:07:30,713 --> 00:07:31,979
As for your speech,
229
00:07:32,048 --> 00:07:33,447
there's one thing that I
learned in back-cracking school,
230
00:07:33,516 --> 00:07:35,249
- and that's how to captivate a client.
- Go on.
231
00:07:35,318 --> 00:07:36,650
You see, in the manual, it says
232
00:07:36,719 --> 00:07:39,053
that constant talk and
distraction helps them ignore
233
00:07:39,122 --> 00:07:41,989
the searing pain that is spinal alignment.
234
00:07:42,058 --> 00:07:43,090
That makes sense.
235
00:07:43,159 --> 00:07:45,526
It's not just about using your words.
236
00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:47,294
It's also... about flash!
237
00:07:47,363 --> 00:07:49,563
- [Bones crack]
- Ah!
238
00:07:49,632 --> 00:07:51,599
Flash! You're right.
239
00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:53,601
That's what I need to add to my toast!
240
00:07:53,669 --> 00:07:54,668
Exactly.
241
00:07:54,737 --> 00:07:56,670
Now, just get up there
242
00:07:56,739 --> 00:07:57,738
and show them what you got, kid.
243
00:07:59,909 --> 00:08:00,908
[Strained] I'm good.
244
00:08:02,979 --> 00:08:04,545
You look good.
245
00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:07,915
Alf: ... get away with
murder... so to speak.
246
00:08:07,984 --> 00:08:10,518
Right now, I could walk over...
247
00:08:10,586 --> 00:08:12,253
Well, what's going on in here?
248
00:08:12,321 --> 00:08:14,655
Just watching "Alf" and
playing "Cat's Cradle"...
249
00:08:14,724 --> 00:08:16,123
No relation to the song.
250
00:08:16,192 --> 00:08:17,525
You know the song, right, Dad?
251
00:08:17,593 --> 00:08:19,193
Oof. That song.
252
00:08:19,262 --> 00:08:22,196
You know what would push this
father/son moment over the top?
253
00:08:22,265 --> 00:08:23,797
You whip us up a malt to share.
254
00:08:23,866 --> 00:08:26,200
That's a great idea, pal.
255
00:08:28,070 --> 00:08:29,036
What's going on?
256
00:08:29,105 --> 00:08:31,438
Just some father/son bonding time.
257
00:08:31,507 --> 00:08:32,840
Tell me what you've done to him,
258
00:08:32,909 --> 00:08:34,942
or I'll make you go outside
and play catch with your dad
259
00:08:35,011 --> 00:08:37,611
- on the lawn in front of the entire neighborhood.
- No.
260
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,880
And not with one of those
soft Nerf balls, either.
261
00:08:39,949 --> 00:08:41,815
Not the hard, white ones
with the sewing on them.
262
00:08:41,884 --> 00:08:43,884
That's right... baseballs.
263
00:08:43,953 --> 00:08:45,252
Okay, okay!
264
00:08:45,321 --> 00:08:47,655
Truth is, "Cat's in the Cradle"
makes Dad bend to my will
265
00:08:47,723 --> 00:08:49,123
'cause the words make him sad.
266
00:08:49,192 --> 00:08:51,358
How selfish can you be?!
267
00:08:51,427 --> 00:08:53,027
I'm sorry. I'll stop.
268
00:08:53,095 --> 00:08:54,562
You most certainly will.
269
00:08:55,865 --> 00:08:57,831
After you use your evil to help me.
270
00:08:57,900 --> 00:08:59,200
- Seriously?
- Play the song.
271
00:08:59,268 --> 00:09:01,202
Get him to invite Pop-Pop to Thanksgiving
272
00:09:01,270 --> 00:09:03,504
so he can finally see
what an amazing cook I am.
273
00:09:03,573 --> 00:09:06,674
Isn't your thing, like,
way more selfish than mine?
274
00:09:06,742 --> 00:09:08,475
Oh, yes. [Chuckles]
275
00:09:08,544 --> 00:09:11,378
Now that man will eat
my food and his words.
276
00:09:11,447 --> 00:09:12,613
[Chuckles]
277
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:15,182
And also... family's important and stuff.
278
00:09:15,251 --> 00:09:16,850
There's a lesson in there. Figure it out.
279
00:09:16,919 --> 00:09:18,619
Gobble, gobble.
280
00:09:21,232 --> 00:09:22,562
It was almost dinnertime,
281
00:09:22,701 --> 00:09:25,260
and even though I manipulated
Dad into inviting Pop-Pop,
282
00:09:25,309 --> 00:09:27,295
the old grouch was a no-show.
283
00:09:27,304 --> 00:09:30,005
Do we have to wait for
Pop-Pop? I'm starving.
284
00:09:30,073 --> 00:09:31,206
Just give me a scoop.
285
00:09:31,275 --> 00:09:33,475
Hey! Don't ruin the presentation.
286
00:09:33,543 --> 00:09:35,944
Half of eating is done with the eyes.
287
00:09:36,013 --> 00:09:37,212
Murray, where's your father?
288
00:09:37,281 --> 00:09:38,747
He'll be here any minute.
289
00:09:38,815 --> 00:09:40,849
Still waiting on Dad, eh?
290
00:09:40,917 --> 00:09:41,816
[Laughs]
291
00:09:41,885 --> 00:09:43,118
That's weird.
292
00:09:43,186 --> 00:09:45,053
I thought you called him, Murray.
293
00:09:45,122 --> 00:09:46,354
[Laughs maniacally]
294
00:09:46,423 --> 00:09:48,590
Okay, you're really laughing it up,
295
00:09:48,659 --> 00:09:50,525
which tells me you've
done something idiotic
296
00:09:50,594 --> 00:09:51,926
and you want me to hear about it.
297
00:09:51,995 --> 00:09:52,894
Go ahead.
298
00:09:52,963 --> 00:09:54,229
After you called our father
299
00:09:54,298 --> 00:09:56,765
to invite him to Thanksgiving,
I called him back,
300
00:09:56,833 --> 00:09:59,167
and I said that I was going to pick him up,
301
00:09:59,236 --> 00:10:00,735
[laughing] but I never did.
302
00:10:00,804 --> 00:10:03,805
You know, even for you,
this is incredibly stupid.
303
00:10:03,874 --> 00:10:05,206
Uh, it's brilliant,
304
00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:07,075
and you have your son Adam to thank for it,
305
00:10:07,144 --> 00:10:09,778
'cause he keeps on playing
that "Cat's in the Cradle" song.
306
00:10:09,846 --> 00:10:11,146
[Chuckling] And, uh, everyone knows
307
00:10:11,214 --> 00:10:12,881
that it's the greatest
revenge song ever written.
308
00:10:12,949 --> 00:10:14,683
How do you get revenge from that song?
309
00:10:14,751 --> 00:10:15,884
Hello?
310
00:10:15,952 --> 00:10:17,786
It's about a boy who
gets shafted by his dad,
311
00:10:17,854 --> 00:10:19,054
just like we were.
312
00:10:19,122 --> 00:10:20,488
And then he grows up,
313
00:10:20,557 --> 00:10:22,324
and his dad calls him to hang out,
314
00:10:22,392 --> 00:10:23,658
and then the boy is just like
315
00:10:23,727 --> 00:10:25,727
"ha! I've been waiting for this moment.
316
00:10:25,796 --> 00:10:27,762
I have my own life now.
317
00:10:27,831 --> 00:10:29,364
So suck it, old man!" Click!
318
00:10:29,433 --> 00:10:30,699
That's not what it's about!
319
00:10:30,767 --> 00:10:33,368
It's about spending time with your kid.
320
00:10:33,437 --> 00:10:34,803
Pfft! What you talkin' 'bout, Murray?
321
00:10:34,871 --> 00:10:36,538
It's right there in the lyrics.
322
00:10:36,606 --> 00:10:38,973
The cat eats the baby
with the silver spoon
323
00:10:39,042 --> 00:10:40,408
Those aren't the words!
324
00:10:40,477 --> 00:10:42,811
It didn't eat a baby. No baby got eaten.
325
00:10:42,879 --> 00:10:44,979
- The cat eats the baby...
- No baby gets eaten.
326
00:10:45,048 --> 00:10:46,948
... with the silver
spoo... would you wake up?
327
00:10:47,017 --> 00:10:49,451
A cat cannot use a spoon.
328
00:10:49,519 --> 00:10:50,752
It's got paws.
329
00:10:50,821 --> 00:10:55,590
A cat can very easily just
pick up a spoon like so
330
00:10:55,659 --> 00:10:56,725
and... pthf!
331
00:10:56,793 --> 00:10:57,726
[Keys jingle]
332
00:10:57,794 --> 00:10:59,227
Hey. Whoa! Stop!
333
00:10:59,296 --> 00:11:01,429
Wh... i... it's dinnertime.
Where are you going?!
334
00:11:01,498 --> 00:11:02,831
To get my father.
335
00:11:02,899 --> 00:11:04,933
You're gonna ruin my ruthless
revenge plot against Dad!
336
00:11:05,001 --> 00:11:06,768
- What kind of Thanksgiving is this?!
- Hey...
337
00:11:06,837 --> 00:11:08,470
- What we didn't know...
- [door closes]
338
00:11:08,538 --> 00:11:10,805
... was Thanksgiving
was about to get awesome.
339
00:11:10,874 --> 00:11:13,408
Why don't we just hear a
toast while we're waiting?
340
00:11:13,477 --> 00:11:15,110
Erica, show us what you got.
341
00:11:15,178 --> 00:11:17,045
Thank you, Pops.
342
00:11:17,114 --> 00:11:18,546
[Clears throat]
343
00:11:18,615 --> 00:11:21,883
Well, I'm just gonna speak
from the heart and say...
344
00:11:21,952 --> 00:11:24,686
Barry: [Amplified] Ladies
and gentlemen-men-men-men,
345
00:11:24,755 --> 00:11:26,588
are you prepared for the ultimate
346
00:11:26,656 --> 00:11:30,291
Thanksgiving extravaganza
of love-love-love-love?
347
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,527
And with that, Barry
appeared from the smoke
348
00:11:32,596 --> 00:11:34,162
to take Thanksgiving to a new level.
349
00:11:34,231 --> 00:11:35,897
-
Never surrender
- What the heck is this?
350
00:11:35,966 --> 00:11:38,199
An idiot giving a Thanksgiving toast.
351
00:11:38,268 --> 00:11:41,202
Y'all's about to get
touched, ninja pilgrim-style.
352
00:11:41,271 --> 00:11:42,871
Turkeyyy-yah!
353
00:11:42,939 --> 00:11:44,172
Adult Adam: It was educational.
354
00:11:44,241 --> 00:11:47,542
And so that's when Chris
Colombo married Pocahontas
355
00:11:47,611 --> 00:11:50,779
and they feasted upon corn, or maize,
356
00:11:50,847 --> 00:11:53,381
named after its "a-maize-ing"
taste when buttered.
357
00:11:53,450 --> 00:11:55,116
It had music.
358
00:11:55,185 --> 00:11:56,551
[Music continues]
359
00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:58,583
- It was packed with metaphors and symbolism.
- _
360
00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:01,061
_
361
00:12:01,157 --> 00:12:02,891
It had pyrotechnics...
362
00:12:02,959 --> 00:12:05,326
and breaks for hydration.
363
00:12:05,395 --> 00:12:07,328
It had emotional pandering...
364
00:12:07,397 --> 00:12:09,230
Look at us... love.
365
00:12:09,299 --> 00:12:10,331
He leaps from half-court!
366
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,534
... and a cinematic climax.
367
00:12:12,602 --> 00:12:14,202
3 points for family!
368
00:12:14,271 --> 00:12:16,037
The nuclear weapons are disarmed!
369
00:12:16,106 --> 00:12:18,740
The Goldbergs saved the world!
370
00:12:18,809 --> 00:12:20,675
In conclusion, Thanksgiving!
371
00:12:20,744 --> 00:12:23,812
And it... was... awesome!
372
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,048
Wait! You actually enjoyed
that confusing pile of garbage?
373
00:12:27,117 --> 00:12:29,250
It was a real experience.
374
00:12:29,319 --> 00:12:31,119
I feel like I just went to Atlantic City.
375
00:12:31,188 --> 00:12:33,455
I liked the part where you
showed the baby pictures.
376
00:12:33,523 --> 00:12:34,823
But it made no sense!
377
00:12:34,891 --> 00:12:37,292
How can a slam dunk disarm nuclear weapons?
378
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,894
Can't wait to hear what
you got in store, Erica.
379
00:12:39,963 --> 00:12:41,029
Uh...
380
00:12:41,097 --> 00:12:42,564
I think we should space them out a bit.
381
00:12:42,632 --> 00:12:44,599
No! Please.
382
00:12:44,668 --> 00:12:45,633
Talk from the heart.
383
00:12:45,702 --> 00:12:47,235
Uh... we should wait on Pop-Pop
384
00:12:47,304 --> 00:12:50,205
because that is the right thing to do.
385
00:12:50,273 --> 00:12:51,706
So I'll be upstairs.
386
00:12:51,775 --> 00:12:53,041
Not writing a speech.
387
00:12:53,109 --> 00:12:55,343
Just, uh, waiting for them to
show up, so I'll be g... gone.
388
00:12:55,412 --> 00:12:58,279
As Erica retreated,
Pop-Pop was on the warpath.
389
00:12:58,348 --> 00:12:59,981
I can't believe you people...
390
00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:02,083
making me wait outside nearly seven minutes
391
00:13:02,152 --> 00:13:03,318
in the dead of Fall.
392
00:13:03,386 --> 00:13:05,019
It was just a little mix-up, Dad.
393
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,321
Marvin will apologize.
394
00:13:06,389 --> 00:13:07,755
You want me to apologize to him,
395
00:13:07,824 --> 00:13:09,624
the man who picked me up from
soccer practice at midnight?
396
00:13:09,693 --> 00:13:11,092
- I had a thing.
- That's it!
397
00:13:11,161 --> 00:13:12,961
I'm not stepping one foot in
that house as long as he's here!
398
00:13:13,029 --> 00:13:14,829
Good. Now I got something
to be thankful for.
399
00:13:14,898 --> 00:13:16,197
Mnyh!
400
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,701
Hey! What are you doing dropping the pants?
401
00:13:19,769 --> 00:13:20,668
That's my thing.
402
00:13:20,737 --> 00:13:21,836
I'm the one that invented
403
00:13:21,905 --> 00:13:23,404
dropping your slacks at the door.
404
00:13:23,473 --> 00:13:25,073
It's Thanksgiving. Pull up your pants.
405
00:13:25,141 --> 00:13:26,241
How you doing, Ben?
406
00:13:26,309 --> 00:13:27,375
You think you're better than me?
407
00:13:27,444 --> 00:13:28,710
[Chuckles]
408
00:13:28,778 --> 00:13:30,645
Speaking of better, try
my turkey, Ben. Taste.
409
00:13:30,714 --> 00:13:32,614
No, no, no. I learned my
lesson a long time ago.
410
00:13:32,682 --> 00:13:34,782
Here. Heat this up. I'm starving.
411
00:13:34,851 --> 00:13:37,318
Come on. You can't have
Thanksgiving from a box.
412
00:13:37,387 --> 00:13:38,386
Just take a taste, Ben.
413
00:13:38,455 --> 00:13:39,621
I'm not kidding you.
414
00:13:39,689 --> 00:13:41,289
Take a damn taste.
415
00:13:41,358 --> 00:13:43,258
I'll take a taste! I'm eating out here!
416
00:13:43,326 --> 00:13:45,159
Everyone, just calm down.
417
00:13:45,228 --> 00:13:46,628
Adam, uh, why don't you
418
00:13:46,696 --> 00:13:48,796
just play your "Cat's
in the Cradle" video?
419
00:13:48,865 --> 00:13:51,466
Oh, hey! Son of a bitch. I love that song.
420
00:13:51,535 --> 00:13:53,501
- That's got that nice message in it.
- That right?
421
00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:55,203
Yeah, there's this needy brat
422
00:13:55,272 --> 00:13:57,372
who's been pestering his dad for years.
423
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,374
His dad just wants to be left alone.
424
00:13:59,442 --> 00:14:01,943
All right, so, now, years
later, they're on the phone,
425
00:14:02,012 --> 00:14:05,079
but his son now... oh, he's
finally into his own crap.
426
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:06,581
So his father hangs up the phone
427
00:14:06,650 --> 00:14:08,616
because now he's got
what he's always wanted...
428
00:14:08,685 --> 00:14:09,851
to be left the hell alone.
429
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,886
It's a revenge song!
430
00:14:11,955 --> 00:14:13,555
The son wins in the end!
431
00:14:13,623 --> 00:14:14,989
No one wins!
432
00:14:15,058 --> 00:14:17,258
It's about the struggle
to not let time slip away.
433
00:14:17,327 --> 00:14:18,526
No one thinks that!
434
00:14:18,595 --> 00:14:20,695
- [Door slams]
- Adam. Do your Jedi mind trick.
435
00:14:20,764 --> 00:14:22,597
Play the video and make
people listen to you.
436
00:14:22,666 --> 00:14:25,633
That's why you've been playing
that damn song all the time?!
437
00:14:25,702 --> 00:14:26,701
Oh, balls.
438
00:14:26,770 --> 00:14:28,069
You were screwing with my mind?!
439
00:14:28,138 --> 00:14:30,271
Mom was the one that tricked
you into inviting Pop-Pop
440
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:31,940
so she could force-feed him turkey.
441
00:14:32,008 --> 00:14:32,874
- What?!
- What?!
442
00:14:32,943 --> 00:14:34,275
What?! I can't hear!
443
00:14:34,344 --> 00:14:36,544
I'm outside here! Speak louder!
444
00:14:36,613 --> 00:14:39,026
-
Never surrender
- Who's ready for a high-octane,
445
00:14:39,027 --> 00:14:41,122
tear-jerkin' Thanksgiving toast?
446
00:14:41,384 --> 00:14:42,650
Oh, boy. This is real bad timing.
447
00:14:42,719 --> 00:14:43,851
Watch out, Russia.
448
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,420
It's the American baseball team,
449
00:14:45,488 --> 00:14:46,955
and they're hitting home runs for family.
450
00:14:47,023 --> 00:14:47,855
[Gasps]
451
00:14:47,924 --> 00:14:49,657
Oh! My decorative gourds!
452
00:14:49,726 --> 00:14:51,926
Dude! You're stealing my whole speech!
453
00:14:51,995 --> 00:14:52,994
No, it's different!
454
00:14:53,063 --> 00:14:54,462
You did basketball. I'm doing baseball.
455
00:14:54,531 --> 00:14:55,263
What?!
456
00:14:55,332 --> 00:14:56,664
Doesn't matter. I win.
457
00:14:56,733 --> 00:14:58,766
I forgot what it was for, but I beat you.
458
00:14:58,835 --> 00:15:01,135
You don't even know what this is about?!
459
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:03,338
I dislike you so much!
460
00:15:03,406 --> 00:15:04,572
Bevy: Stop it! Stop it!
461
00:15:04,641 --> 00:15:05,640
- Everybody stop it!
- Barry!
462
00:15:05,709 --> 00:15:07,909
Stop it! It's thanks-[Bleep]-giving!
463
00:15:07,978 --> 00:15:10,678
I don't care what it is! I want
these crazy people out of my house!
464
00:15:10,747 --> 00:15:12,380
No! I'm so close!
465
00:15:12,449 --> 00:15:13,982
Ben, try my yams.
466
00:15:14,050 --> 00:15:14,983
I learned my lesson. No.
467
00:15:15,051 --> 00:15:16,784
No yams! I'm taking out the leaf!
468
00:15:16,853 --> 00:15:18,152
No! Not the leaf!
469
00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:19,287
What's happening?!
470
00:15:19,356 --> 00:15:20,154
[Grunts]
471
00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:21,789
Aaaaah!
472
00:15:21,858 --> 00:15:23,257
I feel so left out!
473
00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:25,858
Oh, my back!
474
00:15:26,627 --> 00:15:27,592
Adult Adam: It was a
Thanksgiving stalemate.
475
00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:28,927
Dad wanted everyone out,
476
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,896
and Marvin was refusing to come in.
477
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,864
What are you still doing here?
478
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,599
Thanksgiving's over. Go home.
479
00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:36,201
No. We can still save this thing.
480
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:38,236
Barry, help me set the
table around your father.
481
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:39,337
I can't move!
482
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:41,106
I sold 80-pound vacuums door to door
483
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:42,240
with a shattered pelvis.
484
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:43,241
Suck it up!
485
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:44,709
Marvin, get inside.
486
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,711
Murray threw his back out,
and we need your magic hands.
487
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,780
Yes, I can see how you might think,
488
00:15:48,849 --> 00:15:51,650
based on my consistent claim
that I'm a chiropractor,
489
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,886
how I might be of some service
in this particular situation.
490
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:55,954
You can't help?
491
00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,355
What kind of a male nurse are you?
492
00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:58,957
I am a chiropractor, damn it.
493
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:00,158
At least, I will be
494
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,826
once the school is recognized by the state.
495
00:16:01,895 --> 00:16:03,795
There's no way that man's touching me!
496
00:16:03,864 --> 00:16:05,730
Okay, that's enough. I
have something to say.
497
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:08,099
Again, it's very bad timing.
498
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:11,369
Look, maybe we're a garbage family,
499
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,905
and maybe we don't always get along.
500
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:17,208
But, you know, maybe that's okay.
501
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:19,878
Maybe that's a good thing.
502
00:16:19,947 --> 00:16:22,747
I mean, Barry's one of the
biggest idiots of all time,
503
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,250
but he gave the best toast
this family's ever seen.
504
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:26,051
Yes!
505
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,319
Ignoring the first part.
506
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:30,255
And if this utter dope can pull that off,
507
00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:31,957
well, then I'm sure my dopey uncle
508
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,692
has learned enough at back school
509
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,026
that he can fix my dad.
510
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,595
[Stirring music plays]
511
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,397
No! Do not get inspired by her speech!
512
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:42,067
'Cause the fact is it's Thanksgiving!
513
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,235
And if a family can't believe in each other
514
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,738
on a day like today...
515
00:16:46,807 --> 00:16:48,139
Well, then, when can we?
516
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:51,543
Sure, it was insulting,
but also deeply moving.
517
00:16:51,612 --> 00:16:54,412
That night, Erica proved that she
could toast with the best of them.
518
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:55,814
What is happening?
519
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:56,982
[Door bursts open]
520
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:00,685
Your faith in me is
all the training I need.
521
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:02,387
No!
522
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:03,588
You can do it, Marvy.
523
00:17:03,657 --> 00:17:04,356
No!
524
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:05,624
It's all you, Uncle Marv.
525
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:06,391
No!
526
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,493
Give it a shot, Marv!
527
00:17:08,562 --> 00:17:09,694
I'm a little drunk.
528
00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:10,729
I'm going in!
529
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:11,596
Don't go in!
530
00:17:11,665 --> 00:17:13,698
What are you doing?!
531
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,634
- Flash!
- [Bones crack]
532
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:19,170
[Suspenseful music plays]
533
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,139
[Ding!]
534
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:26,678
How you feel?
535
00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:31,650
- I actually feel better.
- Yeah?
536
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,284
Look... he's standing straighter!
537
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:35,987
I told you I'm a god! [Laughs]
538
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,622
Marvin saved Thanksgiving!
539
00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:39,891
Marvin. Marvin!
540
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,093
[Laughs maniacally]
541
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:42,713
Even though Marvin took all the credit,
542
00:17:42,730 --> 00:17:45,263
my mom still got the moment
she always dreamed of.
543
00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:47,265
Damn it, Marvin! You're...
you're hogging the yams!
544
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:48,533
Ah, buh, buh, buh!
545
00:17:48,682 --> 00:17:52,016
Look at my old man loving your food.
546
00:17:52,085 --> 00:17:53,685
Guess you finally got what you wanted.
547
00:17:53,754 --> 00:17:54,886
Raised a moron.
548
00:17:54,955 --> 00:17:56,287
Beverly: Yeah. It's great.
549
00:17:56,356 --> 00:17:58,757
But look at them all there.
550
00:17:58,825 --> 00:18:00,725
He learned to walk while I was away
551
00:18:00,794 --> 00:18:02,527
Family and stuff. [Chuckles]
552
00:18:02,596 --> 00:18:04,763
Yeah. Family and stuff.
553
00:18:04,831 --> 00:18:07,031
It turned out to be our
best Thanksgiving ever.
554
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:09,534
And even though Barry and Erica
battled over the best speech,
555
00:18:09,603 --> 00:18:13,238
- in the end, Pops reclaimed the crown.
- [Spoon clinks]
556
00:18:13,306 --> 00:18:15,206
I'd like to make a little toast.
557
00:18:15,275 --> 00:18:19,844
Normally, this holiday makes me
think of the love of my life...
558
00:18:19,913 --> 00:18:21,780
my wife, Irene.
559
00:18:21,848 --> 00:18:24,949
But as I look around this table tonight,
560
00:18:25,018 --> 00:18:29,320
I realize we shouldn't dwell
on the loves we've lost.
561
00:18:29,389 --> 00:18:32,357
'Cause there's more than
enough love right here.
562
00:18:35,195 --> 00:18:36,294
Cheers.
563
00:18:36,363 --> 00:18:37,328
Murray: Hear, hear.
564
00:18:37,397 --> 00:18:38,563
[Sniffles]
565
00:18:38,632 --> 00:18:39,931
Thinks he's better than us, that bastard.
566
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,634
If anyone would like a spinal adjustment,
567
00:18:42,702 --> 00:18:44,369
meet me on the couch when this is over.
568
00:18:44,437 --> 00:18:46,638
I said, "not today, I got a lot to do"
569
00:18:46,706 --> 00:18:48,606
he said, "that's okay"
570
00:18:48,675 --> 00:18:51,509
and then he walked away,
but his smile never dimmed
571
00:18:51,578 --> 00:18:53,044
I don't get it.
572
00:18:53,113 --> 00:18:54,245
How on earth can you think
573
00:18:54,314 --> 00:18:56,047
this song's about being a lousy father?
574
00:18:56,116 --> 00:18:57,882
Just a theory.
575
00:18:57,951 --> 00:18:59,751
Well...
576
00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:01,152
I watch you with your kids.
577
00:19:01,221 --> 00:19:02,720
You're, um...
578
00:19:02,789 --> 00:19:03,922
not like me.
579
00:19:05,525 --> 00:19:07,826
You're a good father to them.
580
00:19:07,894 --> 00:19:08,860
Even to the weird one.
581
00:19:11,731 --> 00:19:14,098
I don't know which one
that is, but thank you.
582
00:19:14,167 --> 00:19:16,534
["Cat's in the Cradle" continues]
583
00:19:22,108 --> 00:19:25,009
Well, he came from
college just the other day
584
00:19:25,078 --> 00:19:26,644
so much like a man, I just...
585
00:19:26,713 --> 00:19:28,346
Hey. The... the video over?
586
00:19:28,415 --> 00:19:29,914
I... I got nervous, so I left.
587
00:19:29,983 --> 00:19:33,117
Yeah. I... it, uh, played well.
588
00:19:33,186 --> 00:19:37,021
Noticed my name on the end there.
589
00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:38,323
Since when am I your producer?
590
00:19:38,391 --> 00:19:39,924
Since you paid for the lens.
591
00:19:39,993 --> 00:19:42,794
I couldn't have done it without you.
592
00:19:42,863 --> 00:19:44,596
Any of it.
593
00:19:44,664 --> 00:19:46,464
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
594
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:48,700
So...
595
00:19:48,768 --> 00:19:49,567
Yeah.
596
00:19:49,636 --> 00:19:51,135
Yeah.
597
00:19:51,204 --> 00:19:53,471
But we'll get together then, Dad
598
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:54,539
You okay?
599
00:19:54,608 --> 00:19:57,208
Yeah. I'm good.
600
00:19:57,277 --> 00:19:59,277
["Cat's in the Cradle" continues]
601
00:20:02,349 --> 00:20:05,617
And the cat's in the
cradle and the silver spoon
602
00:20:08,855 --> 00:20:12,223
and the cat's in the
cradle and the silver spoon
603
00:20:12,292 --> 00:20:15,326
little boy blue and the man in the moon
604
00:20:15,395 --> 00:20:18,329
when you comin' home,
Son? I don't know when
605
00:20:18,398 --> 00:20:20,832
but we'll get together then, Dad
606
00:20:21,526 --> 00:20:24,024
A few guys from the water polo team
607
00:20:24,093 --> 00:20:25,292
- invited me on a ski trip.
- No.
608
00:20:25,361 --> 00:20:27,128
Would you just hear me
out before you say no?
609
00:20:27,196 --> 00:20:28,262
I already said no.
610
00:20:28,331 --> 00:20:29,330
Well, I wrote a little song
611
00:20:29,399 --> 00:20:30,765
about father/daughter relationships
612
00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,099
that just may make you realize
613
00:20:32,168 --> 00:20:33,968
that our time together is fleeting.
614
00:20:34,036 --> 00:20:35,269
[TV turns off]
615
00:20:35,338 --> 00:20:38,272
A butterfly emerges from a cocoon
616
00:20:39,909 --> 00:20:43,411
a dad and daughter gaze at the moon
617
00:20:45,081 --> 00:20:47,081
fathers and daughters
and fathers of daughters
618
00:20:47,150 --> 00:20:50,251
and the man in the moon is
neglecting his daughter...
619
00:20:50,319 --> 00:20:51,552
Wow!
620
00:20:51,621 --> 00:20:55,222
That song made me realize
how precious our time is.
621
00:20:55,291 --> 00:20:56,457
So I can go on the ski trip?
622
00:20:56,526 --> 00:20:59,126
No. I want you by my side all weekend.
623
00:20:59,195 --> 00:21:00,661
This really backfired on me, huh?
624
00:21:00,662 --> 00:21:03,680
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
625
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:08,280
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