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1
00:00:00,573 --> 00:00:02,239
Adult Adam: Back in the '80s,before you could film
2
00:00:02,239 --> 00:00:03,238
a major motion picturewith your phone,
3
00:00:03,406 --> 00:00:05,272
the only wayto capture memories
4
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:08,305
was with this monstrosity...the video camera.
5
00:00:08,305 --> 00:00:10,338
It was literallybackbreaking work,
6
00:00:10,374 --> 00:00:12,707
but the resultwas always priceless.
7
00:00:12,809 --> 00:00:14,242
What's up, b-ball fans?
8
00:00:14,277 --> 00:00:16,911
Big tasty coming to
you live from the drive.
9
00:00:16,980 --> 00:00:18,680
Rumor has it you like dunks.
10
00:00:18,715 --> 00:00:21,616
Well, I call this one "slam,
jam, thank you, ma'am."
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00:00:21,685 --> 00:00:24,853
All: Oh!
12
00:00:24,921 --> 00:00:26,521
"Honey, I dunked the kid."
13
00:00:26,623 --> 00:00:28,356
All: Oh!
14
00:00:28,458 --> 00:00:30,325
"Good morning, Viet-slam."
15
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:33,028
All: Oh!
16
00:00:33,130 --> 00:00:34,829
All: Oh!
17
00:00:34,931 --> 00:00:36,931
Call me Jean-Claude van jam.
18
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,101
All: Oh! [ Laughter]
19
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,569
What?! Hoo-hoo!
20
00:00:41,671 --> 00:00:43,371
This is the worst thing I've ever seen,
21
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,640
and I see my dad in his
underpants every day.
22
00:00:45,675 --> 00:00:47,709
But we're only halfway through
watching my jampilation...
23
00:00:47,778 --> 00:00:49,377
the
extrava-jam-za.
24
00:00:49,446 --> 00:00:50,678
Yeah, this has been amazing, you know,
25
00:00:50,714 --> 00:00:51,946
a Saturday really well spent,
26
00:00:52,015 --> 00:00:54,249
but I am gonna go do anything else.
27
00:00:54,317 --> 00:00:56,051
[ All cheering]
28
00:00:56,753 --> 00:01:00,488
Beverly: Aah! It's my littlelove muffin's birthday!
29
00:01:00,488 --> 00:01:03,389
Dude, did you tape over
your 5th birthday party?
30
00:01:03,458 --> 00:01:04,891
That could have been anyone's parents.
31
00:01:04,926 --> 00:01:06,793
No, I remember that party...
your mom gave me a haircut
32
00:01:06,793 --> 00:01:08,326
'cause she said my mom did a bad job.
33
00:01:08,394 --> 00:01:12,029
Oh, no, no, no, no.
34
00:01:12,098 --> 00:01:13,631
Yes! This is wonderful!
35
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For me.
36
00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:16,167
For you, it's like as bad as it gets.
37
00:01:16,269 --> 00:01:17,134
It's fine!
38
00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,769
Mom has millions of tapes of us.
39
00:01:18,838 --> 00:01:20,338
It's not like she has
every one of them memorized.
40
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:21,405
Hi, love nuggets.
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00:01:21,474 --> 00:01:24,141
Oh, your 5th birthday!
42
00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:27,311
Oh, I remember every single moment.
43
00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:29,013
- We should go.
- No, no. Stay.
44
00:01:29,082 --> 00:01:30,915
Let's all watch the best time in my life
45
00:01:30,984 --> 00:01:32,216
when you were my little Schmoo
46
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and you used to give Mama endless huggies.
47
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,254
You heard Mama. Play the tape.
48
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Why watch an old video
49
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when you can get a real huggie right now?
50
00:01:42,395 --> 00:01:43,327
For real?
51
00:01:43,429 --> 00:01:44,462
Get in here, you.
52
00:01:44,530 --> 00:01:45,463
[Laughs]
53
00:01:45,498 --> 00:01:47,765
Ohh, ain't this the best?
54
00:01:47,867 --> 00:01:49,000
Totally.
55
00:01:49,102 --> 00:01:52,069
I can really feel your
whole body against mine.
56
00:01:52,171 --> 00:01:54,205
Oh, my baby's so big and squishy.
57
00:01:56,042 --> 00:01:57,975
I'm twisted up inside
58
00:01:58,044 --> 00:02:02,079
But nonetheless I
feel the need to say
59
00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:05,483
I don't know the future
60
00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:06,587
But the past keeps
getting clearer every day
61
00:02:06,612 --> 00:02:09,388
Synced & corrected by laulau
www.Addic7ed.Com
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00:02:09,389 --> 00:02:12,089
adult Adam: It was October
7,1980-something,
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00:02:12,191 --> 00:02:14,425
and my dad was engagedin his favorite hobby...
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00:02:14,527 --> 00:02:16,193
watching the weather channel.
65
00:02:16,296 --> 00:02:18,496
Back then, there were onlyfive channels to watch.
66
00:02:18,598 --> 00:02:20,831
With the inventionof this exciting network,
67
00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:22,633
Dads across Americawere hooked.
68
00:02:22,735 --> 00:02:24,068
Call cousin Arnie.
69
00:02:24,137 --> 00:02:25,836
They have a blizzard warning in Denver!
70
00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:28,572
They have no idea what they're up against!
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00:02:28,675 --> 00:02:30,007
Unless it banks South.
72
00:02:30,109 --> 00:02:32,376
Then they'll just have nice, mild flurries.
73
00:02:32,445 --> 00:02:35,513
Ooh. My knee is acting up.
74
00:02:35,615 --> 00:02:37,114
Bet it's gonna rain.
75
00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:38,516
[Laughing] Oh!
76
00:02:38,618 --> 00:02:41,319
This guy thinks it's gonna
rain today with 5% humidity.
77
00:02:41,421 --> 00:02:43,854
I liked you better when
you hated everything.
78
00:02:43,923 --> 00:02:45,690
Yep, the weatherwas my dad's hobby.
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00:02:45,758 --> 00:02:47,825
And of course, it couldn't beany more different than mine.
80
00:02:47,927 --> 00:02:49,160
Okay, here's the deal. [Click]
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00:02:49,262 --> 00:02:51,495
You're looking at a
sentient robot named Johnny 5
82
00:02:51,597 --> 00:02:53,164
from the hit movie "short circuit"
83
00:02:53,266 --> 00:02:55,800
and the less critically
acclaimed "short circuit 2."
84
00:02:55,902 --> 00:02:57,635
Why is the "robit" lounging on a raft?
85
00:02:57,737 --> 00:02:59,771
That thing weighs a ton. It makes no sense.
86
00:02:59,773 --> 00:03:03,107
The point is, the hobby shop
is selling a limited-edition kit
87
00:03:03,109 --> 00:03:06,010
to build a mini replica
Johnny 5 and I need money.
88
00:03:06,112 --> 00:03:08,212
You do realize I'm gonna say no, right?
89
00:03:08,314 --> 00:03:09,380
I do know that, yes.
90
00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:11,248
And that's why I'm gonna call this
91
00:03:11,317 --> 00:03:14,852
a learning-based project and
ask you to build it with me.
92
00:03:14,954 --> 00:03:17,888
Do not do that. Do not call
it a learning-based project.
93
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,323
Then give me the money.
94
00:03:19,425 --> 00:03:21,926
I won't involve Mom, and we
can each go our separate ways.
95
00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:23,060
Done. How much?
96
00:03:23,162 --> 00:03:24,128
$96.
97
00:03:24,197 --> 00:03:25,363
I'm gonna ask you to go away now.
98
00:03:25,465 --> 00:03:27,031
Mom, I have a learning-based project
99
00:03:27,133 --> 00:03:29,266
Dad won't get involved in!
100
00:03:29,369 --> 00:03:31,769
What is this about a
learning-based project?
101
00:03:31,871 --> 00:03:33,170
I like the sound of that.
102
00:03:33,272 --> 00:03:35,005
I want to build a robot with Dad,
103
00:03:35,108 --> 00:03:36,907
but he doesn't
want to do it with me.
104
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,710
Murray! It's a learning-based project!
105
00:03:39,812 --> 00:03:42,012
Mama, why won't he let me learn stuff?
106
00:03:42,115 --> 00:03:43,748
It's a learning-based project!
107
00:03:43,850 --> 00:03:45,883
The thing costs 100 bucks.
108
00:03:45,952 --> 00:03:47,852
Tell you what... instead
of going to the store
109
00:03:47,954 --> 00:03:49,687
and buying a bunch of robot parts,
110
00:03:49,789 --> 00:03:52,523
Dad will help you build one
from junk around the house.
111
00:03:52,625 --> 00:03:54,258
Oh, no, what have I done?
112
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,127
- I was literally just sitting here.
- No. Zip it.
113
00:03:56,229 --> 00:03:57,795
Zip it. Zip it. I've made up my mind.
114
00:03:57,897 --> 00:04:00,097
You two are building a
robot, and that's final!
115
00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:03,768
Yay! Learning-based project!
116
00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:05,269
Yeah, I'm a putz.
117
00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:07,605
While I was stuck with thegrumpiest man on the planet,
118
00:04:07,707 --> 00:04:09,440
Barry went tothe
smartest man he knew.
119
00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:11,909
Coach Meller! Coach!
120
00:04:12,011 --> 00:04:13,244
I need your help.
121
00:04:13,346 --> 00:04:14,245
[Whistle blows]
122
00:04:14,347 --> 00:04:15,446
Third graders, out!
123
00:04:15,548 --> 00:04:17,782
You're of no use to me until
you develop adult bodies
124
00:04:17,884 --> 00:04:19,750
that can play something besides tag.
125
00:04:19,819 --> 00:04:21,485
What are we looking at here, Goldberg?
126
00:04:21,587 --> 00:04:23,387
I taped over my 5th birthday party!
127
00:04:23,489 --> 00:04:26,223
My mom will never forgive me
if I can't get her tape back.
128
00:04:26,325 --> 00:04:29,093
You're the A.V. Club adviser. Help me.
129
00:04:29,195 --> 00:04:31,429
Well, it's more of a ceremonial title.
130
00:04:31,531 --> 00:04:33,798
I just get to keep the key
to the A.V. Closet on my belt,
131
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,966
but mostly I just hand the key off
132
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,102
to that weird kid with the muppet voice.
133
00:04:38,204 --> 00:04:40,571
My brother? That's him... muppet boy.
134
00:04:40,673 --> 00:04:41,739
So is it possible?
135
00:04:41,841 --> 00:04:43,974
Can we un-film what I taped over?
136
00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:44,542
Absolutely.
137
00:04:44,578 --> 00:04:46,710
All we got to do is pop
that tape into the vcr,
138
00:04:46,712 --> 00:04:48,612
hit record and rewind at the same time,
139
00:04:48,714 --> 00:04:51,415
and it will un-record
the top layer of video.
140
00:04:51,517 --> 00:04:52,650
Duh!
141
00:04:52,752 --> 00:04:54,652
The answer was in front
of me the whole time.
142
00:04:54,754 --> 00:04:56,187
Except that wasn't the answer.
143
00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,421
To the nerd hole.
144
00:04:57,457 --> 00:04:59,323
While you couldeasily
tape over something,
145
00:04:59,392 --> 00:05:01,258
you could never un-erase it.
146
00:05:01,327 --> 00:05:02,526
[Grinding] [Electricity crackling]
147
00:05:05,965 --> 00:05:07,298
No! Why didn't it work?
148
00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:09,700
'Cause nobody really knows
how vhs technology works.
149
00:05:09,769 --> 00:05:11,735
It's a mystery science can't solve.
150
00:05:11,804 --> 00:05:14,305
Looks like your only
choice is to come clean.
151
00:05:14,373 --> 00:05:16,774
Or I double-down and keep lying.
152
00:05:16,843 --> 00:05:18,709
I lied on a job application once
153
00:05:18,778 --> 00:05:21,445
and said I was proficient
in the audio-visual arts.
154
00:05:21,514 --> 00:05:22,780
Now here we are.
155
00:05:22,882 --> 00:05:24,281
So the lesson is...
156
00:05:24,383 --> 00:05:25,416
don't lie.
157
00:05:25,485 --> 00:05:27,017
Unless it gets you an extra 60 bucks a week
158
00:05:27,086 --> 00:05:28,919
and a butt-load of extension cords.
159
00:05:29,021 --> 00:05:31,722
I feel good about today.
160
00:05:31,757 --> 00:05:34,258
In my brother's mind, there wasonly one logical choice...
161
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,360
frame my mom.
162
00:05:36,395 --> 00:05:37,761
First, he tookhis
ruined birthday tape
163
00:05:37,864 --> 00:05:39,296
and steamed off the label.
164
00:05:39,365 --> 00:05:42,399
Next, he stuck it ontomy mom's Phil donahue tape
165
00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:44,134
so the next timeshe'd
watch Barry's birthday,
166
00:05:44,237 --> 00:05:46,203
she'd find this.
167
00:05:46,239 --> 00:05:48,772
In the long-term,it's not good for us.
168
00:05:48,808 --> 00:05:52,309
I just don't understand
how I could be so careless!
169
00:05:52,378 --> 00:05:53,611
Don't beat yourself up too bad.
170
00:05:53,679 --> 00:05:55,212
I mean, yeah, it's an unforgivable mistake.
171
00:05:55,281 --> 00:05:57,147
But one day, I'll recover.
172
00:05:57,216 --> 00:05:58,749
But I won't!
173
00:05:58,851 --> 00:06:00,684
Those were the first moving images
174
00:06:00,786 --> 00:06:02,152
of my precious love monkeys.
175
00:06:02,255 --> 00:06:04,188
Lost! Forever!
176
00:06:05,291 --> 00:06:07,157
Dude, I'm all for lying to our parents,
177
00:06:07,260 --> 00:06:08,993
but this is very not okay.
178
00:06:09,061 --> 00:06:11,462
The good news is she'll totally
forget about it in a few days.
179
00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:12,863
I will never forget about this!
180
00:06:12,965 --> 00:06:14,265
- Or a few weeks.
- Ever.
181
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:15,332
Mom's a mess.
182
00:06:15,401 --> 00:06:16,700
I've failed as a mother...
183
00:06:16,802 --> 00:06:17,701
I can't take it, Barry.
184
00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:19,403
- ...as a woman...
- Either you tell her...
185
00:06:19,438 --> 00:06:21,872
- ...and as a human person.
- ...Or I will.
186
00:06:21,941 --> 00:06:24,008
This is all your fault, Phil donahue,
187
00:06:24,076 --> 00:06:26,010
you gorgeous white-haired bastard.
188
00:06:26,112 --> 00:06:29,513
189
00:06:29,582 --> 00:06:31,649
Okay, brainstorming session.
190
00:06:31,684 --> 00:06:34,718
Murray, now that you've been
forced to build a robo-man,
191
00:06:34,754 --> 00:06:37,488
you get to delight in
Adam's favorite hobby.
192
00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:39,223
I was about to delight
in the weather channel.
193
00:06:39,325 --> 00:06:41,158
They got a new ticker at
the bottom of the screen.
194
00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:42,192
It's always moving.
195
00:06:42,261 --> 00:06:43,427
- Are we done here?
- No!
196
00:06:43,496 --> 00:06:46,830
Come on. Tell me what this
metal-sucker should look like.
197
00:06:46,899 --> 00:06:48,632
Get the ball rolling, Mur-man.
198
00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:50,901
I don't know. Um...
199
00:06:50,970 --> 00:06:53,203
It could have a... Button.
200
00:06:53,272 --> 00:06:54,638
Good! A button.
201
00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:57,474
Way to go there, big guy. Adam, your turn.
202
00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:59,410
It definitely should have a
"back to the future" -style
203
00:06:59,478 --> 00:07:01,445
flux capacitor for time travel.
204
00:07:01,514 --> 00:07:02,479
Don't write that down.
205
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:04,048
No time travel. That's not a thing.
206
00:07:04,116 --> 00:07:06,784
There are no bad ideas in brainstorming.
207
00:07:06,852 --> 00:07:08,052
What else you got?
208
00:07:08,154 --> 00:07:09,253
I don't know.
209
00:07:09,288 --> 00:07:11,155
Maybe like a pointy hand
that could poke stuff.
210
00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:12,623
An ion-based magma Cannon.
211
00:07:12,692 --> 00:07:14,792
A hat. A combat-ready cloaking device.
212
00:07:14,894 --> 00:07:15,426
Metal feet.
213
00:07:15,495 --> 00:07:17,861
We should also give it
emotions and a sense of humor.
214
00:07:17,863 --> 00:07:19,496
No! Don't write that down!
215
00:07:19,532 --> 00:07:21,231
Ever heard of "short circuit"?
216
00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:23,033
Once we get it struck by lightning,
217
00:07:23,102 --> 00:07:24,902
it'll be alive just like Johnny 5.
218
00:07:25,004 --> 00:07:26,270
That was a movie.
219
00:07:26,372 --> 00:07:29,406
For the sake of argument,
let's entertain the notion
220
00:07:29,475 --> 00:07:32,743
that this robot can have
anything we want it to have.
221
00:07:32,812 --> 00:07:34,712
That's what I'm trying to do, bro,
222
00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:37,281
but unless this robot
can give fog advisories,
223
00:07:37,383 --> 00:07:39,083
my father ain't getting on board.
224
00:07:39,185 --> 00:07:40,651
A weather "robit."
225
00:07:40,686 --> 00:07:42,553
Now, that actually makes sense.
226
00:07:42,622 --> 00:07:44,321
I want this thing to have a snow plow.
227
00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:46,090
And inter-dimensional portals.
228
00:07:46,192 --> 00:07:48,092
Now we're cooking with gas.
229
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,361
Adult Adam: While my dad and Iwere finally coming together,
230
00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:53,497
my mom was still falling apart.
231
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:54,732
Dude, look at her.
232
00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:57,434
She's even lost her will to jazzercise.
233
00:07:57,503 --> 00:07:59,370
You were supposed to tell her by now.
234
00:07:59,472 --> 00:08:01,538
I know, but I have great news.
235
00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:04,708
I came up with something so
much better than the truth.
236
00:08:04,777 --> 00:08:07,645
I searched through all our old tapes
237
00:08:07,713 --> 00:08:09,613
and cut together Beverly Goldberg's
238
00:08:09,715 --> 00:08:11,448
most awesome Moments as a Mom.
239
00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:13,550
I call it a "Momtage."
240
00:08:13,653 --> 00:08:14,551
I don't understand.
241
00:08:14,654 --> 00:08:16,220
See, I took the word "Mom"
242
00:08:16,322 --> 00:08:18,055
and mushed it into the word "montage,"
243
00:08:18,157 --> 00:08:19,757
which is Spanish for the word "honesty."
244
00:08:19,859 --> 00:08:21,091
I know what "montage" means.
245
00:08:21,193 --> 00:08:22,726
Just tell me how it'll
make her feel better.
246
00:08:22,828 --> 00:08:24,094
Simple.
247
00:08:24,163 --> 00:08:26,463
There's nothing that woman loves
more than taking care of us.
248
00:08:26,565 --> 00:08:28,232
When she watches her greatest hits,
249
00:08:28,334 --> 00:08:30,067
she'll give me a hug and
forget all about the other tape.
250
00:08:30,169 --> 00:08:31,702
[Click]
251
00:08:31,804 --> 00:08:34,138
Never surrender
252
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,741
Barry: Momtage!
253
00:08:37,843 --> 00:08:40,310
Starring our Mama.
254
00:08:40,413 --> 00:08:42,780
Chores!
255
00:08:42,882 --> 00:08:45,249
256
00:08:45,351 --> 00:08:46,817
Living the dream!
257
00:08:46,919 --> 00:08:49,720
Cooking foods!
258
00:08:51,991 --> 00:08:54,224
Too hot, but thank you!
259
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,460
Unclogging stuff!
260
00:08:56,562 --> 00:08:57,728
A mighty warrior
261
00:08:57,830 --> 00:09:00,364
It was Dad, not me!
262
00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:03,567
Giant hair!
263
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:06,003
Fashion icon!
264
00:09:06,072 --> 00:09:08,439
When they try to break you down
265
00:09:08,541 --> 00:09:11,241
Yelling about safety!
266
00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:15,579
We heart Beverly!
267
00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:17,915
Against the wall
268
00:09:20,052 --> 00:09:22,453
Well? Good stuff, right?
269
00:09:22,555 --> 00:09:23,987
Yeah, I'm going to tell her myself,
270
00:09:24,056 --> 00:09:26,523
because this will literally
send her into madness.
271
00:09:26,625 --> 00:09:29,660
Why can't you trust me that
for once I make things better?
272
00:09:29,762 --> 00:09:32,196
Beverly: You did it Schmoo-Barry!
273
00:09:32,264 --> 00:09:33,831
You went on the big potty!
274
00:09:33,933 --> 00:09:36,433
We'll remember this forever.
275
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:38,102
No! That's why!
276
00:09:38,204 --> 00:09:40,871
Because you taped over
another priceless memory!
277
00:09:40,973 --> 00:09:41,939
Chill!
278
00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:43,474
I can fix this with another Momtage.
279
00:09:45,864 --> 00:09:47,963
Adult Adam: It had been two
dayssince my dad came aboard
280
00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:50,296
my greatest hobby,and the results were epic!
281
00:09:50,296 --> 00:09:51,295
Big news!
282
00:09:51,864 --> 00:09:53,397
I got a tin of rugelach.
283
00:09:53,397 --> 00:09:55,364
You two look like you could use a break.
284
00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:56,965
No breaks. We're on a roll.
285
00:09:57,068 --> 00:09:58,067
Check it out.
286
00:09:58,135 --> 00:10:00,135
Here's our robot in killer cyborg form.
287
00:10:00,237 --> 00:10:02,471
Here he is shooting his laser-guided fist.
288
00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:06,475
And here he is using a doppler
radar to predict black ice.
289
00:10:06,577 --> 00:10:08,577
Hoo-hoo! Can you imagine?!
290
00:10:08,646 --> 00:10:11,046
- Now let's get to work.
- On what?
291
00:10:11,148 --> 00:10:12,681
Duh. Our robot.
292
00:10:12,783 --> 00:10:15,417
Sure, it won't be easy,
but you said you'd tinker.
293
00:10:15,486 --> 00:10:18,887
We can't build this thing.
It's got a time-travel thingy.
294
00:10:18,956 --> 00:10:20,656
This technology doesn't even exist!
295
00:10:20,724 --> 00:10:22,257
Not with that attitude.
296
00:10:22,359 --> 00:10:23,725
Okay, it's on me.
297
00:10:23,828 --> 00:10:25,194
I should have known
better than to encourage
298
00:10:25,296 --> 00:10:26,462
all this "robit" nonsense.
299
00:10:26,530 --> 00:10:29,064
Oh, like your hobby's so
great? The weather. Feh.
300
00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:31,967
Don't "feh" the weather.
It can make or break us.
301
00:10:32,036 --> 00:10:35,037
Just ask those poor
bastards down tornado alley.
302
00:10:35,139 --> 00:10:36,371
Please.
303
00:10:36,407 --> 00:10:38,874
My robot can defeat any
tornado you throw at me.
304
00:10:38,943 --> 00:10:40,709
Easy, fellas. Have some rugelach.
305
00:10:40,778 --> 00:10:44,580
Really? A category-nine twister
versus this tin can? Please!
306
00:10:44,682 --> 00:10:46,982
It's got nuts and jam! Just take a taste.
307
00:10:47,051 --> 00:10:48,283
You fool.
308
00:10:48,352 --> 00:10:51,887
My robot is made out of
indestructible adamantium
309
00:10:51,956 --> 00:10:54,823
and has a drill that can dig
into the core of the earth
310
00:10:54,925 --> 00:10:56,992
and change your precious weather patterns.
311
00:10:57,061 --> 00:10:58,760
I should have never agreed to the drill!
312
00:10:58,829 --> 00:11:00,229
I was on the fence about it,
313
00:11:00,297 --> 00:11:02,164
and now you're using it against me!
314
00:11:02,266 --> 00:11:03,232
My own son!
315
00:11:03,334 --> 00:11:04,199
Just take a taste.
316
00:11:04,335 --> 00:11:06,735
Al. Enough of your deli cookie, please.
317
00:11:06,871 --> 00:11:07,970
Just take a taste!
318
00:11:08,038 --> 00:11:09,404
Look, you're not a little kid anymore.
319
00:11:09,507 --> 00:11:11,373
You got to stop with these toys
320
00:11:11,442 --> 00:11:13,108
and the fantasies and the "robits."
321
00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:14,076
It's robot.
322
00:11:14,178 --> 00:11:16,211
Why won't you say it the right way?
323
00:11:16,313 --> 00:11:17,346
Say "robot"!
324
00:11:17,448 --> 00:11:18,580
I am! "Robit"!
325
00:11:18,682 --> 00:11:19,548
Ro-bot.
326
00:11:19,650 --> 00:11:20,916
- "Robit"!
- Robot!
327
00:11:21,018 --> 00:11:23,452
- "Robit"!
- Ro-bot!
328
00:11:23,554 --> 00:11:25,087
It doesn't matter what you call it.
329
00:11:25,189 --> 00:11:27,556
You need to find a
hobby for a kid your age,
330
00:11:27,625 --> 00:11:28,857
a hobby that's real.
331
00:11:28,926 --> 00:11:30,492
None of this crap is real!
332
00:11:30,561 --> 00:11:32,194
You think I don't know what's not real?
333
00:11:32,263 --> 00:11:33,929
Well, you sure as hell act like it is!
334
00:11:33,998 --> 00:11:36,532
It's called fun... to pretend, to imagine,
335
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,567
to think of things that
may be possible one day.
336
00:11:38,669 --> 00:11:39,835
It's what I do.
337
00:11:39,937 --> 00:11:41,803
Hell, I-I'll go build this robot right now
338
00:11:41,872 --> 00:11:43,605
just to show you anything's possible.
339
00:11:43,674 --> 00:11:46,875
You're gonna go invent
a time-traveling "robit"
340
00:11:46,944 --> 00:11:48,844
in your room just to spite me?
341
00:11:48,946 --> 00:11:51,513
Yes, and he will walk and talk
342
00:11:51,549 --> 00:11:53,615
and be the father that
you could only hope to be.
343
00:11:53,684 --> 00:11:56,385
At this point, I'm very open
to a metal man coming down here
344
00:11:56,453 --> 00:11:58,086
and taking some of this off my plate!
345
00:11:58,189 --> 00:12:00,055
Good! 'Cause it's done!
346
00:12:00,157 --> 00:12:02,057
No, no, no. Again, I'm really into it.
347
00:12:02,159 --> 00:12:05,327
348
00:12:05,396 --> 00:12:07,296
Rugelach is a friendship snack.
349
00:12:07,364 --> 00:12:09,364
As I convinced myselfto build a robot,
350
00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:12,267
Erica convinced Barryto come clean to my mom.
351
00:12:12,369 --> 00:12:15,571
Hi, ma. You can unload those
groceries by yourself later.
352
00:12:15,673 --> 00:12:17,506
Right now, we need to talk.
353
00:12:17,608 --> 00:12:18,907
What's wrong, squishy?
354
00:12:19,009 --> 00:12:21,843
First, I'll kick things off
with a gravity-defying dunk
355
00:12:21,946 --> 00:12:23,812
dedicated to my very understanding
356
00:12:23,914 --> 00:12:25,113
and forgiving mother.
357
00:12:25,216 --> 00:12:27,082
I named it "I love you, Mama."
358
00:12:27,151 --> 00:12:28,984
You're very sweet to cheer me up, honey.
359
00:12:29,053 --> 00:12:30,185
And remember that.
360
00:12:30,254 --> 00:12:32,487
'Cause after my dunk, I'm
gonna tell you all about
361
00:12:32,556 --> 00:12:35,424
how I taped over my
birthday, then framed you,
362
00:12:35,459 --> 00:12:37,326
and then taped over
even more precious stuff.
363
00:12:37,428 --> 00:12:38,961
Watch me jam it home!
364
00:12:41,565 --> 00:12:42,764
All: Oh!
365
00:12:42,866 --> 00:12:44,833
[All cheering]
366
00:12:44,935 --> 00:12:46,501
That's right, jtp!
367
00:12:46,570 --> 00:12:49,271
Get my mom riled up with
your infectious energy!
368
00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:51,373
He soars like an angel!
369
00:12:51,475 --> 00:12:52,441
You did it?
370
00:12:52,543 --> 00:12:55,677
And then made me turn against Phil donahue?
371
00:12:55,746 --> 00:12:57,779
So you lost a few irreplaceable memories,
372
00:12:57,881 --> 00:13:00,082
but think about what you gained!
373
00:13:00,150 --> 00:13:03,285
An explosive jampilation of
my sweetest rim encounters!
374
00:13:03,387 --> 00:13:04,920
You think I'd rather have a video
375
00:13:05,022 --> 00:13:08,624
of you jam-dunking on
some low rim? Seriously?
376
00:13:08,726 --> 00:13:11,126
Low? That's NBA regulation.
377
00:13:11,195 --> 00:13:12,394
It's not.
378
00:13:12,463 --> 00:13:14,229
I just told you that to make
you feel good about yourself.
379
00:13:14,298 --> 00:13:15,397
- It's low, bro.
- Yeah, thing's tiny.
380
00:13:15,432 --> 00:13:16,898
That's not regulation at all.
381
00:13:17,001 --> 00:13:18,267
Oh, my God!
382
00:13:18,335 --> 00:13:21,203
I entered the dunk contest at
the villanova game next week!
383
00:13:21,305 --> 00:13:22,571
How could you lie to me?!
384
00:13:22,606 --> 00:13:24,339
Because that's what a good Mama does.
385
00:13:24,408 --> 00:13:25,374
Shes builds you up
386
00:13:25,476 --> 00:13:27,542
and makes you feel like
you can do anything.
387
00:13:27,611 --> 00:13:30,145
I've spent the past decade planning to be
388
00:13:30,247 --> 00:13:32,281
a basketball legend and rap star!
389
00:13:32,349 --> 00:13:34,483
Now I'm just gonna be some lowly rap mogul?
390
00:13:34,585 --> 00:13:37,085
That can't be the life you want for me!
391
00:13:37,187 --> 00:13:39,554
What I want is my old tapes back,
392
00:13:39,623 --> 00:13:41,857
but that's not happening, either, is it?
393
00:13:42,726 --> 00:13:45,093
My life's a sham.
394
00:13:45,195 --> 00:13:46,762
Goodbye, dreams.
395
00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:48,363
As my brother's
dreamswere dying,
396
00:13:48,432 --> 00:13:50,265
I was realizingit
really was impossible
397
00:13:50,367 --> 00:13:51,900
to give life to a robot.
398
00:13:52,002 --> 00:13:54,670
Hey! What are the rules?
399
00:13:54,772 --> 00:13:56,638
Don't come in your room,
don't touch your crap,
400
00:13:56,740 --> 00:13:58,407
and don't come in your
room to touch your crap.
401
00:13:58,475 --> 00:14:00,242
And right now, you're
breaking all of them. Get out.
402
00:14:00,344 --> 00:14:01,610
I'm sorry, okay?
403
00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:04,246
But I really need the electrical
guts inside this boom box.
404
00:14:04,315 --> 00:14:04,982
For what?
405
00:14:05,007 --> 00:14:07,483
To build a spite robot
that can replace Dad...
406
00:14:07,484 --> 00:14:08,817
a nice one that keeps his pants on.
407
00:14:08,817 --> 00:14:09,883
Take a seat.
408
00:14:12,587 --> 00:14:14,420
All right, how do I say this?
409
00:14:14,523 --> 00:14:15,755
Uh...
410
00:14:15,824 --> 00:14:17,824
It's time to give up your stupid thing.
411
00:14:17,926 --> 00:14:19,793
What? No, no, no, no. Never.
412
00:14:19,828 --> 00:14:21,861
Trust me. I'm talking from experience here.
413
00:14:22,673 --> 00:14:25,874
When I was your age, this was my hobby.
414
00:14:26,372 --> 00:14:28,739
Strawberry shortcake. Heard of it?
415
00:14:28,841 --> 00:14:30,741
Yeah, they're those chubby
dolls that smell like pie.
416
00:14:30,776 --> 00:14:32,676
Put her in your hand and
tell me what you smell.
417
00:14:32,778 --> 00:14:34,979
[Sniffs]
418
00:14:35,081 --> 00:14:36,080
Nothing.
419
00:14:36,182 --> 00:14:37,081
Exactly.
420
00:14:37,183 --> 00:14:39,550
I smelled her so long and so hard
421
00:14:39,652 --> 00:14:42,219
that all the Berry is
gone, and you know why?
422
00:14:42,321 --> 00:14:45,656
Because I was playing with these
until I was in the 9th grade.
423
00:14:45,758 --> 00:14:46,824
Oh, God.
424
00:14:46,926 --> 00:14:49,460
No one liked this girl, Adam. No one.
425
00:14:49,562 --> 00:14:51,629
Everyone else moved on to real hobbies
426
00:14:51,697 --> 00:14:54,932
like sports and boys and wine coolers,
427
00:14:55,034 --> 00:14:56,567
and I was still sniffing the straw.
428
00:14:56,669 --> 00:14:59,203
But robots are way cooler than those dolls.
429
00:14:59,305 --> 00:15:01,572
Are they, Adam? Are they?
430
00:15:02,675 --> 00:15:05,576
It's time, dude. Move on.
431
00:15:05,678 --> 00:15:07,244
432
00:15:07,346 --> 00:15:08,612
The last thing I wanted
433
00:15:08,714 --> 00:15:11,282
was to be that sad,little geek in the photo.
434
00:15:11,384 --> 00:15:13,784
At that moment,I
realized my dad was right.
435
00:15:13,886 --> 00:15:17,721
It was timeto
give up robots forever.
436
00:15:21,559 --> 00:15:22,624
While Barry's heart was broken
437
00:15:22,726 --> 00:15:23,725
'cause he'd never
playin the NBA,
438
00:15:23,828 --> 00:15:24,927
my mom felt even worse
439
00:15:24,995 --> 00:15:27,596
'cause she was the
onewho broke it.
440
00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:29,898
Goodbye, round mound of rebound.
441
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,062
It would have been nice to be your teammate
442
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,864
until I became a franchise player
443
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,167
and you got traded to Utah in disgrace.
444
00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:37,601
445
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:41,138
In that moment, my mom knewthat some taped memory
446
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:42,440
from the pastwasn't as important
447
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:45,443
as making Barry feel
goodabout his future.
448
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,279
And so Beverly Goldberg didwhat she does best...
449
00:15:48,314 --> 00:15:50,514
build up her childrenin an unrealistic way.
450
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,549
Beverly: Barry, wait.
451
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:52,583
Mom, I'm going to school
452
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,218
'cause I actually have to learn stuff now
453
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,320
'cause I'm not getting drafted
by the sixers next month.
454
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,822
Love bug, just sit down.
455
00:15:57,924 --> 00:15:59,457
There's something I want you to see.
456
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:00,491
[Click]
457
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,626
Never surrender
458
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:04,428
See, I took the word "Schmoo"
459
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:07,031
and combined it with "compilation."
460
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:08,466
Mom, don't bother.
461
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:10,935
It's not gonna make anything better
462
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:13,037
Beverly: Starring Barry Goldberg.
463
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,038
Hee-yah!
464
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:15,806
Ne-yah!
Ne-yah!
465
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,107
Ugh.
466
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,310
Fists...
467
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,811
Beverly: Kara-te power!
468
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,913
You were born a fighter
469
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:25,883
In the blood, a mighty warrior
470
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,184
Jumping stuff!
471
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:29,220
Driven by desire
472
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,855
Glory calls
473
00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:32,623
Popping and locking!
474
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,959
[Screams] I hate this game!
475
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:36,060
Beverly: Passion!
476
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,161
When they try to break you down
477
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:39,597
You can take it
[Water running]
478
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,098
Berverly: Long showers!
479
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:44,201
When your back's against
the wall
[Beeping]
480
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,504
The thrill of the fight's
got you standing tall
481
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,005
Treasure!
Never surrender
482
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,841
Adam! Get out! Stop video-t...
483
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,176
Beverly: Hero! [Clapping]
484
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:53,911
You've got the
heart of a hero
Whoo!
485
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,079
Never surrender
486
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:57,181
But you forgot to mention my frisbee skills
487
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,283
and how easily I can
make friends with horses.
488
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,651
See?
489
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,220
You're so much more than basketball, honey.
490
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:07,358
You are amazingly talented
at so many amazing things.
491
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:09,460
I am good at basically everything.
492
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,595
I just... Couldn't live with myself
493
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:14,164
if I knew I took away your dreams.
494
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,801
So... Does this mean you forgive
me for ruining your tapes?
495
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,970
Of course.
496
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,207
Look, I know it's crazy
how much I love them,
497
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:26,143
but they just remind me of a time
498
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:27,611
when you still needed me.
499
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:28,913
Mom.
500
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,714
Look at all the stuff you do for me.
501
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,650
Everything I am is because of you.
502
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:33,984
I'll always need you.
503
00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:36,020
[Rod Stewart's "forever young" plays]
504
00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:44,562
Goodbye, r2 and 3po.
505
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:48,799
I guess you are not the
droids I was looking for.
506
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,267
Well, you did it.
507
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:52,603
He's giving up all his robots.
508
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:53,737
I didn't want that.
509
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,673
I just wanted him to grow up a little bit.
510
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:56,640
Look at him.
511
00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:58,943
He's watching the damn weather.
512
00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:01,378
He has the rest of his
life to be one of us.
513
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:03,180
Why rush him into it?
514
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:07,718
Oh, damn. I hate when you're right.
515
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,153
And may sunshine and happiness
516
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,321
Where you going?
517
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:14,091
I'm gonna finish a learning-based project.
518
00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,260
Adult Adam: Just as I
had given up robots,
519
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:19,530
my dad went out and bought methe one I always wanted.
520
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,498
Dignified and true
[Whirring]
521
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:24,735
Murray: Hello, earth boy.
It's me, short circuit.
522
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:26,003
Just go away.
523
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,472
Be-bop-boop!
Be-bop-boop!
524
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:29,540
Not interested.
525
00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:32,176
But Jimmy 5 is alive!
526
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:35,412
[Chuckles] I'm alive!
527
00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:36,547
[Bleep]
528
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,816
It's Johnny 5, and you're not alive.
529
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,351
You're a stupid toy.
530
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,652
And in my heart, you'll always stay
531
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,654
Look. I know what I said.
532
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:44,955
Forever young
533
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:48,058
And I'd never want you to
stop with the "robit" stuff
534
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:49,360
because of me.
535
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,527
It's fine, Dad.
536
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:51,996
You're not the only one
who said I should move on.
537
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:53,430
Well, they're wrong.
538
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,399
I like that you got a big imagination
539
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:58,235
and you like all that
crazy time-travel stuff.
540
00:18:58,337 --> 00:18:59,269
You do?
541
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:00,304
Yeah.
542
00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:01,238
It's what makes you, you,
543
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,640
and I wouldn't want to change that.
544
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:03,941
Build a stairway to heaven
545
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,810
Maybe a little. You're a weird kid.
546
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:07,945
Thanks.
547
00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:09,747
So what do you say we take this sucker out
548
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,715
and try and get it struck by lightning?
549
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,117
Bring this "robit" to life.
550
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:14,451
It's robot.
551
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,488
And it's impossible to know when
lightning's gonna strike next.
552
00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:20,190
Hey. You got your hobby. I got mine.
553
00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:21,358
And with that,
554
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:24,161
my dad and I combinedour hobbies
555
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:25,796
of course, lightningnever struck my robot
556
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,297
and Jimmy 5 never came alive.
557
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,567
But that night,my
dad and I made a memory
558
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,770
that would last a lifetime,
559
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:36,974
something we would alwayshave to look back on.
560
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:39,610
Forever young
[Sniffs]
561
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,578
That's the thing aboutletting go of the past.
562
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:42,913
It's never easy.
563
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:45,716
And sometimes,we
never let go of it at all.
564
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,518
But the amazing
thingabout life
565
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:51,121
is that we make new preciousmemories every single day.
566
00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:53,023
Forever young
Hey, Mom.
567
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:56,160
I was gonna go outside and
throw down some monster jams.
568
00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:57,661
Maybe you want to come watch?
569
00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:00,798
I'd love to, Baby.
570
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:05,469
Forever young
571
00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:08,472
And the memories comewhen you least expect it.
572
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:13,177
Forever young
573
00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:14,478
All: Oh!
574
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:15,646
[Laughter]
575
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:18,148
[All cheering]
576
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:20,551
577
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,557
All: Oh!
578
00:20:26,582 --> 00:20:27,749
Synced & Corrected by Laulau
www.addic7ed.com
579
00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:28,905
I have awful news...
580
00:20:28,905 --> 00:20:30,938
do you remember that video of me
581
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,571
playing with my strawberry shortcake dolls
582
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,073
when I was little?
583
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:35,541
I accidentally taped over it.
584
00:20:35,576 --> 00:20:37,242
Erica, how could you?
585
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,912
I'm sorry. I guess I just
messed up like Barry did.
586
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,580
Yeah, that's a real shame.
587
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,115
Lucky for us, I made a copy.
588
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:44,416
What?!
589
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:45,318
Oh. Barry!
590
00:20:45,353 --> 00:20:47,820
Good morning, Blueberry Muffin!
You smell delicious today!
591
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,089
Oh, why, thank you, Cherry Cuddler.
592
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:53,024
Do you want to join us at
the Berry bake shoppe for tea?
593
00:20:53,049 --> 00:20:54,249
Oh, well, I can't because I have plans
594
00:20:54,274 --> 00:20:57,074
with my boyfriend, David Hasselhoff!
595
00:20:57,099 --> 00:20:58,599
[Laughter] So adorable.
596
00:20:58,599 --> 00:20:59,299
You're so dead!
597
00:20:59,324 --> 00:21:00,624
- Classic.
- So awkward.
598
00:21:00,649 --> 00:21:01,949
I love her so much.
599
00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:06,549
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