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1
00:00:22,459 --> 00:00:24,126
Hello?
2
00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:27,918
Are you Karl?
3
00:00:28,709 --> 00:00:30,751
I'm Christian.
4
00:00:32,584 --> 00:00:36,584
The guy from Stavanger.
Moving to Oslo.
5
00:00:38,126 --> 00:00:43,251
- Why are you moving to Oslo?
- To finish my sociology studies.
6
00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:46,168
Sure, but why are you moving?
7
00:00:47,459 --> 00:00:51,501
I guess I'm just tired
of living at home.
8
00:00:51,501 --> 00:00:53,876
Are you single?
9
00:00:53,876 --> 00:00:55,584
Am I...?
10
00:00:56,876 --> 00:00:58,626
Yes, I am.
11
00:00:59,709 --> 00:01:01,501
Are you gay?
12
00:01:05,251 --> 00:01:07,001
No, I'm not.
13
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:10,626
You hesitated.
Are you sure?
14
00:01:11,334 --> 00:01:13,584
Yes, I'm positive.
15
00:01:13,584 --> 00:01:18,209
Move a little closer.
Let me look at your face.
16
00:01:20,876 --> 00:01:22,709
Cool.
17
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,334
Hello?
18
00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:28,793
- Did you have a nice talk?
- Yes. Stop nagging!
19
00:01:28,793 --> 00:01:31,543
Where in Oslo are you staying?
20
00:01:31,543 --> 00:01:34,709
- I'm not sure.
- Not all parts are safe.
21
00:01:34,709 --> 00:01:37,001
What do you mean?
22
00:01:37,001 --> 00:01:40,251
- Do you have a rape alarm?
- Shut up!
23
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:49,959
- Why are you going to Oslo?
- To study. How about you?
24
00:01:49,959 --> 00:01:54,418
I'm not going to Oslo. Are you crazy?
My little brother is.
25
00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:59,168
You should get better acquainted.
It's a long train ride.
26
00:01:59,168 --> 00:02:02,751
Just be yourself
and everything will be fine.
27
00:02:02,751 --> 00:02:04,668
I love you.
28
00:02:18,084 --> 00:02:19,793
- Hi.
- Hi.
29
00:02:20,626 --> 00:02:24,376
- Are you that guy's little brother?
- That's me.
30
00:02:24,376 --> 00:02:29,043
Do you think I could get
your brother's phone number?
31
00:02:29,043 --> 00:02:32,209
Yes. Of course.
Sure you can.
32
00:02:32,209 --> 00:02:35,918
- Thank you.
- That is not a problem.
33
00:02:35,918 --> 00:02:37,626
I got it!
34
00:02:52,376 --> 00:02:54,376
- Hi.
- Hi.
35
00:02:55,959 --> 00:03:00,168
- Is this where Karl lives?
- Who's asking?
36
00:03:00,626 --> 00:03:04,459
Christian.
I think I'm moving in here.
37
00:03:06,334 --> 00:03:07,751
Hi there.
Leo.
38
00:03:09,543 --> 00:03:12,168
You're just in time.
39
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:16,668
- Is that for me?
- Sorry, no. It's for Karl.
40
00:03:16,668 --> 00:03:20,918
- Is it his birthday?
- Write "100" on that.
41
00:03:27,418 --> 00:03:30,543
- Red towel means "help."
- Is he with someone?
42
00:03:31,043 --> 00:03:32,334
Open it.
43
00:03:32,334 --> 00:03:36,459
We can't open the door!
What if they're...?
44
00:03:43,709 --> 00:03:45,959
Congratulations!
45
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:50,001
Leo, you didn't have to bake a cake!
46
00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:51,876
Hey, boss.
47
00:03:51,876 --> 00:03:54,043
Say hi to...
48
00:03:54,043 --> 00:03:56,959
You, say hi to Christian.
49
00:03:59,126 --> 00:04:01,584
Christian.
Nice to meet you.
50
00:04:01,584 --> 00:04:04,293
- The hats!
- Right.
51
00:04:04,293 --> 00:04:06,293
Cool!
52
00:04:07,293 --> 00:04:09,376
Don't forget to blow.
53
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:14,334
Is it your birthday, or what?
54
00:04:17,709 --> 00:04:21,334
- Karl, aren't you late for work?
- Shit!
55
00:04:21,334 --> 00:04:24,209
I'm a huge fan.
I love you.
56
00:04:31,751 --> 00:04:33,709
See you later.
57
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:48,376
Have you seriously had sex
with 100 women?
58
00:04:48,376 --> 00:04:51,209
- Did you catch her name?
- Cake lady.
59
00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:54,043
- 7.
- 5.
60
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:56,459
She was a club, I think.
Give me a seven of clubs.
61
00:04:56,459 --> 00:04:59,584
I think you've used them up.
Hang on.
62
00:05:00,168 --> 00:05:03,168
100 women?
How many kids do you have?
63
00:05:03,168 --> 00:05:05,001
On a scale of 1 to 10:
64
00:05:05,001 --> 00:05:07,751
How hairy are your balls?
65
00:05:07,751 --> 00:05:11,626
- Huh?
- How many women have you fucked?
66
00:05:11,626 --> 00:05:15,834
- Does that matter?
- We'll still love you.
67
00:05:15,834 --> 00:05:17,251
Five...
68
00:05:17,251 --> 00:05:19,293
Six...
69
00:05:19,293 --> 00:05:21,209
...thousand.
70
00:05:25,501 --> 00:05:31,751
Your doorbell doesn't work.
When I pushed the buzzer and tried...
71
00:05:31,751 --> 00:05:36,376
Cool story, bro.
We were talking about fucking.
72
00:05:36,376 --> 00:05:39,959
OK, so fucking
is all you talk about here?
73
00:05:39,959 --> 00:05:44,834
Freud said that's all people talk
about. We're just honest about it.
74
00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:48,584
What about you, Leo?
Does that apply to you too?
75
00:05:48,584 --> 00:05:54,293
You've been duped your entire life.
Girls don't want boys like you.
76
00:05:54,293 --> 00:05:57,959
But you're our roommate,
so we'll help you.
77
00:05:57,959 --> 00:06:02,793
The women won the battle of the sexes.
They call all the shots.
78
00:06:02,793 --> 00:06:06,959
Sorry,
but we have to shave your balls now.
79
00:06:08,376 --> 00:06:11,126
Christian!
Christian...
80
00:06:13,668 --> 00:06:15,501
He seems nice.
81
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,001
Son of a bitch!
82
00:06:18,001 --> 00:06:21,959
CRACK, BACK & SACK
83
00:06:55,376 --> 00:06:59,418
You will be presented
with certain methods -
84
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:02,668
- and what those methods are based on.
85
00:07:02,668 --> 00:07:06,543
And you will also learn
about scientific writing.
86
00:07:07,084 --> 00:07:10,126
How do we write scientific papers?
87
00:07:11,376 --> 00:07:16,376
In other words,
your final thesis should focus on...
88
00:07:24,501 --> 00:07:28,126
OK?
Is that clear to everyone?
89
00:07:29,168 --> 00:07:32,126
There are mandatory activities...
90
00:07:55,918 --> 00:07:58,668
- Please...
- Problem?
91
00:07:58,668 --> 00:08:02,668
- It doesn't work!
- Is this your bachelor thesis?
92
00:08:02,668 --> 00:08:07,709
No, but I have four minutes
to get this in, or I'll fail.
93
00:08:11,626 --> 00:08:14,459
Thank you!
You're my hero!
94
00:08:14,459 --> 00:08:16,584
All I need is a white steed.
95
00:08:16,584 --> 00:08:19,126
- Were you here last year?
- No.
96
00:08:19,126 --> 00:08:22,251
This is my first semester in Oslo.
97
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:25,959
- I live with...
- Sorry, I have to go.
98
00:08:25,959 --> 00:08:30,418
But we're going out for beers
at The Owlery later.
99
00:08:30,418 --> 00:08:32,668
- Christian.
- Hi. Mylian.
100
00:08:33,126 --> 00:08:35,918
- Miriam?
- No. Mylian.
101
00:08:35,918 --> 00:08:39,126
- Mylian.
- See you later. I have to run.
102
00:08:42,168 --> 00:08:45,084
- You got a new job?
- At a nursing home.
103
00:08:45,084 --> 00:08:51,251
- I didn't know that. How is it?
- Fine. But those old folks are insane.
104
00:08:51,251 --> 00:08:52,876
Cool.
105
00:09:00,584 --> 00:09:02,376
Cheers.
106
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:14,376
- Hi.
- Hi.
107
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:22,001
- What is this?
- Cake.
108
00:09:22,668 --> 00:09:28,626
Congratulations. You are now
officially Oslo's biggest asshole.
109
00:09:28,626 --> 00:09:31,418
- Was it magical?
- Don't be jealous.
110
00:09:31,418 --> 00:09:33,709
Chris, come here!
111
00:09:37,459 --> 00:09:42,168
- "Feed the goat"?
- What happens if you don't feed it?
112
00:09:42,168 --> 00:09:47,168
- It gets hungry?
- First, yes. And then it dies.
113
00:09:47,168 --> 00:09:50,959
But don't worry.
Goats are omnivorous.
114
00:09:50,959 --> 00:09:54,459
- We're going out.
- Sorry, I have to read.
115
00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:56,084
Awesome!
116
00:09:56,084 --> 00:10:00,584
Our new roommate
is an asexual academic.
117
00:10:00,584 --> 00:10:06,209
I like that you label me as asexual
because I haven't slept with...
118
00:10:07,043 --> 00:10:12,126
- A thousand million women.
- It isn't about the number.
119
00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:16,126
OK, you got me there.
It is about the number.
120
00:10:16,126 --> 00:10:21,334
But it's also about radiating
sexuality. Look at me, Christian.
121
00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:23,043
Look at this!
122
00:10:23,668 --> 00:10:28,293
I sweat fucking orgies!
Come on, take a whiff.
123
00:10:28,293 --> 00:10:32,834
- No, I'm not going to smell you.
- Come on. I sweat pussy.
124
00:10:32,834 --> 00:10:35,376
- Want to see my dick?
- No.
125
00:10:35,376 --> 00:10:40,084
- I love showing off my dick.
- I don't doubt it.
126
00:10:40,084 --> 00:10:42,876
- Just look down.
- No.
127
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:46,168
- And there it is.
- Please come out!
128
00:10:46,168 --> 00:10:49,376
You could have
one chick licking your balls -
129
00:10:49,376 --> 00:10:53,543
- and one with your "nose"
in her mouth.
130
00:10:53,543 --> 00:10:56,084
- Please come out with me!
- No.
131
00:10:56,084 --> 00:10:58,001
Fucking loser!
132
00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:01,918
You are the perfect candidate.
133
00:11:02,793 --> 00:11:04,418
For what?
134
00:11:04,418 --> 00:11:09,501
If you do everything I tell you
for the next half year, -
135
00:11:09,501 --> 00:11:13,793
- you can easily reach 123.
- What's that mean?
136
00:11:14,626 --> 00:11:19,626
Casanova shared his cock
with a total of 122 women.
137
00:11:19,626 --> 00:11:23,501
So Karl's goal in life
is to ravish 123 women.
138
00:11:23,501 --> 00:11:25,126
Fuck yeah!
139
00:11:25,126 --> 00:11:30,418
Is it possible to get AIDS
more than once? Like double-AIDS?
140
00:11:30,418 --> 00:11:36,209
- Let it out, Chris. I've been there.
- I haven't known you that long.
141
00:11:36,209 --> 00:11:42,293
But I think you have used all your
energy to fuck as much as possible.
142
00:11:42,293 --> 00:11:45,168
I don't think you've slept with 100.
143
00:11:45,168 --> 00:11:49,501
By New Year's Eve, I'm going
to celebrate that 123 women -
144
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:52,584
- have been swept away
by The Package.
145
00:11:53,084 --> 00:11:55,501
And if you want, -
146
00:11:55,501 --> 00:11:59,168
- we can make a deal
right here and fucking now:
147
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:04,084
If you do everything I say
for the next five months, -
148
00:12:04,084 --> 00:12:09,918
- I'll turn you into a man women
want to share their sexuality with.
149
00:12:09,918 --> 00:12:14,709
OK, so basically I'll be your slave
for a half year...
150
00:12:14,709 --> 00:12:18,584
- Imagine how much you'll learn!
- Sorry, bro.
151
00:12:18,584 --> 00:12:20,751
Chris, come on.
Chris!
152
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,793
Imagine the power!
153
00:12:25,959 --> 00:12:30,209
- What did he say?
- "Imagine the power, Christian!"
154
00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:34,251
I think he loves this image of himself
as a sex god.
155
00:12:34,584 --> 00:12:36,793
And you?
156
00:12:36,793 --> 00:12:41,709
- What about me?
- Do you want to be seen as a sex god?
157
00:12:43,043 --> 00:12:48,126
I happen to be an atheist,
so I don't believe in gods.
158
00:12:48,126 --> 00:12:51,251
But that's a stupid answer.
159
00:12:51,626 --> 00:12:53,334
Honest answer.
160
00:12:54,334 --> 00:12:57,334
Seriously?
Yes. I do.
161
00:12:57,334 --> 00:12:58,751
You do?
162
00:12:59,751 --> 00:13:03,168
You want me to view you
as a sex god?
163
00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:05,501
Why?
164
00:13:09,501 --> 00:13:14,334
According to Aristotle,
being sexually active is a virtue.
165
00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:17,209
So according to virtue ethics...
166
00:13:17,209 --> 00:13:20,376
Come on,
no sneaky philosophical answers.
167
00:13:20,376 --> 00:13:25,584
A sneaky question deserves
a sneaky answer. Tit for tat.
168
00:13:26,918 --> 00:13:30,834
Are you coming to The Owlery tonight?
169
00:13:30,834 --> 00:13:33,543
I was planning on reading.
170
00:13:34,251 --> 00:13:35,751
Are you going?
171
00:13:35,751 --> 00:13:37,876
Yes.
With you.
172
00:13:41,043 --> 00:13:44,501
- All right. Maybe.
- Not maybe. Join me.
173
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:51,376
And I'll tell all my girlfriends
what a sex god you are.
174
00:13:52,751 --> 00:13:54,959
They already know.
175
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,918
I sent out a group e-mail.
176
00:13:57,918 --> 00:14:02,876
If you have any intention
of passing on your genes, be careful.
177
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:07,293
"Mylian" sounds like something
from Lord of the Rings.
178
00:14:07,293 --> 00:14:12,209
I hereby forbid you to think
about Mulan...Mylian...Muliano.
179
00:14:12,584 --> 00:14:16,209
- Why?
- Because you like her.
180
00:14:16,209 --> 00:14:19,876
I can't talk to her
because I like her?
181
00:14:19,876 --> 00:14:24,751
Like her as much as you want,
just stop caring so much.
182
00:14:25,793 --> 00:14:29,668
Mylion... Muylita... Muyliano...
183
00:14:30,834 --> 00:14:34,459
Sounds like a French porn actress.
184
00:14:34,459 --> 00:14:36,834
She may not even like me.
185
00:14:39,293 --> 00:14:43,501
Can we talk about something else?
Forget it!
186
00:14:43,501 --> 00:14:46,584
Don't worry.
They'll calm down, mom.
187
00:15:11,418 --> 00:15:13,251
Dick or sack?
188
00:15:13,251 --> 00:15:15,834
- What?
- Dick or sack?
189
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,751
- Sack?
- Dick.
190
00:15:19,751 --> 00:15:21,959
- It was dick.
- OK.
191
00:15:31,084 --> 00:15:33,001
Dick or sack?
192
00:15:35,459 --> 00:15:37,626
Sack.
193
00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:40,459
- What the hell is that?
- Huh?
194
00:15:40,459 --> 00:15:44,751
What is that?
Your dick is supposed to be a reward.
195
00:15:44,751 --> 00:15:47,626
That looks like a fucking punishment.
196
00:15:47,626 --> 00:15:49,334
Dick or sack?
197
00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:52,209
- Dick.
- Sack.
198
00:15:52,209 --> 00:15:57,251
People go out to get pussy.
We go out to give dick.
199
00:15:59,043 --> 00:16:01,084
- Hello, boys.
- Hi!
200
00:16:01,084 --> 00:16:04,001
- This is Christian.
- Elisa.
201
00:16:04,001 --> 00:16:09,459
He may seem shy, but once you get
his clothes off, he's a monster.
202
00:16:09,459 --> 00:16:11,709
Like the Hulk?
203
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:15,543
I like to call myself
the Incredible Spunk.
204
00:16:19,293 --> 00:16:21,793
That was really bad.
205
00:16:25,668 --> 00:16:28,959
Chicks consider me
a good lay, period.
206
00:16:28,959 --> 00:16:34,293
We don't realize that you're
just using us as hot sex objects.
207
00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:38,043
Let me know if you feel abused.
208
00:16:38,043 --> 00:16:40,584
Don't you worry about that.
209
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:43,251
Nobody can abuse the Spunk.
210
00:16:45,626 --> 00:16:49,001
- Are you all right?
- Yes. I'm fine.
211
00:16:49,793 --> 00:16:54,043
But you really have to stop
saying Spunk.
212
00:16:54,043 --> 00:16:56,876
I'll do my best.
213
00:16:56,876 --> 00:17:01,293
- Elisa, where are we going?
- It's your party.
214
00:17:01,293 --> 00:17:06,168
Let's go to The Owlery.
Good prices, good people.
215
00:17:06,168 --> 00:17:10,293
Fuck it!
The Party Prince has spoken.
216
00:17:10,293 --> 00:17:12,668
One last round of champagne?
217
00:17:41,709 --> 00:17:43,793
- Has she called?
- Huh?
218
00:17:43,793 --> 00:17:46,293
- Has she called?
- No, not yet.
219
00:17:46,293 --> 00:17:51,959
- Have you texted her?
- Three times. She hasn't responded.
220
00:17:52,543 --> 00:17:57,168
Trust me. Don't send any more.
You'll just seem pushy.
221
00:17:57,168 --> 00:17:59,376
Now you sound like Karl.
222
00:17:59,376 --> 00:18:04,293
I hate to admit it,
but sometimes he's actually right.
223
00:18:08,126 --> 00:18:09,709
Fuck it.
224
00:18:09,709 --> 00:18:12,168
- I'm leaving.
- No, no!
225
00:18:12,168 --> 00:18:17,751
Do you realize how easy it is to hook
up here? These hippies are starving.
226
00:18:17,751 --> 00:18:20,209
- Some other time.
- I'm serious!
227
00:18:20,209 --> 00:18:24,668
They don't care if your balls aren't
shaved, as long as your face is.
228
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:28,418
Some other time.
I'll see you later.
229
00:18:28,418 --> 00:18:31,251
- Christian...
- See you later.
230
00:18:32,626 --> 00:18:37,126
Chris, could you bring Elisa home?
She has to get to bed.
231
00:18:37,126 --> 00:18:41,876
- Bring Elisa home, Christian.
- I don't want to get puked on.
232
00:18:41,876 --> 00:18:44,751
Fuck you!
What time is it?
233
00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:58,501
I'm OK.
I can take your shoes.
234
00:18:58,501 --> 00:19:02,626
- Up you go!
- You're a good person.
235
00:19:07,001 --> 00:19:10,334
You aren't going to rape me, are you?
236
00:19:10,334 --> 00:19:14,418
No, I am definitely not
going to rape you.
237
00:19:14,418 --> 00:19:17,334
- Come on.
- That's swell of you.
238
00:19:18,126 --> 00:19:20,751
Can you make it from here?
239
00:19:20,751 --> 00:19:23,626
- Great. OK. Bye.
- Bye.
240
00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:19,376
Rise and shine, Karl!
241
00:21:19,376 --> 00:21:24,084
Oh, shit. My alarm didn't ring.
I have to get to work.
242
00:21:28,376 --> 00:21:30,459
See you later.
243
00:21:39,209 --> 00:21:40,959
You live here?
244
00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,043
Were you...
245
00:21:45,626 --> 00:21:49,501
- Were you out late last night?
- Yeah.
246
00:21:49,501 --> 00:21:51,626
Real late.
247
00:21:55,751 --> 00:22:00,293
Are you hungry?
I could make some chicken.
248
00:22:00,293 --> 00:22:04,251
No thanks, I'm not that hungry.
I should leave.
249
00:22:04,668 --> 00:22:07,043
Do you have all your things?
250
00:22:08,001 --> 00:22:09,709
But...
251
00:22:11,918 --> 00:22:14,251
- See you later?
- Yeah.
252
00:22:14,251 --> 00:22:16,459
I'll give you a call, OK?
253
00:22:34,751 --> 00:22:36,501
She was cute.
254
00:22:38,418 --> 00:22:40,793
So fucking -
255
00:22:41,376 --> 00:22:43,501
- tight.
256
00:22:45,334 --> 00:22:49,668
- But not worthy of breakfast?
- She snored.
257
00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:56,043
Or, she made these sleeping sounds.
Some sort of weird breathing.
258
00:22:56,043 --> 00:22:58,168
What was her name?
259
00:22:59,709 --> 00:23:01,168
I can't remember.
260
00:23:01,626 --> 00:23:03,543
Just feeding the goat.
261
00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:07,334
She was hot.
262
00:23:07,334 --> 00:23:09,918
A little boring in bed.
263
00:23:57,834 --> 00:23:59,293
Dick or sack?
264
00:24:01,084 --> 00:24:03,084
- Dick.
- Nope.
265
00:24:04,668 --> 00:24:07,418
- Of course it is.
- Nope.
266
00:24:29,709 --> 00:24:31,959
- OK.
- What?
267
00:24:31,959 --> 00:24:34,543
- I'm in.
- In on what?
268
00:24:34,543 --> 00:24:36,293
Teach me.
269
00:24:37,418 --> 00:24:40,668
- It'll be hectic.
- And painful.
270
00:24:40,668 --> 00:24:46,126
Nagging, grumpy neighbors,
hangovers... It'll be legendary!
271
00:24:46,126 --> 00:24:51,876
Are you ready to become a charming
asshole that girls want to sleep with?
272
00:24:51,876 --> 00:24:54,043
You bet your ass!
273
00:24:54,584 --> 00:24:59,084
- Ouch! Shit!
- We are a low caste, but we rebel.
274
00:24:59,084 --> 00:25:03,626
The Oslo and Surrounding Area
Fucking Caste.
275
00:25:04,376 --> 00:25:06,543
One day, Chris...
276
00:25:06,543 --> 00:25:09,626
One day this will all be yours.
277
00:25:18,043 --> 00:25:21,668
- The first girl you had sex with?
- Susann.
278
00:25:21,668 --> 00:25:25,251
- We had sex on a slope.
- Susann.
279
00:25:25,251 --> 00:25:30,251
- She screwed Terje the same night.
- Fuck her. She's probably obese now.
280
00:25:30,251 --> 00:25:34,626
The second time, are you sure
there was full penetration?
281
00:25:34,626 --> 00:25:37,126
Pretty sure.
I think.
282
00:25:37,126 --> 00:25:41,043
The head of your penis inside
at least once?
283
00:25:41,043 --> 00:25:44,251
- I'm pretty sure it was.
- Pimp!
284
00:25:49,501 --> 00:25:52,126
That's pretty impressive.
285
00:25:52,126 --> 00:25:57,709
Don't worry.
By New Year's you'll be way up here.
286
00:25:57,709 --> 00:26:02,709
- I can guarantee at least five.
- Three more? In three months?
287
00:26:02,709 --> 00:26:08,043
Before New Year's
you'll be at five and I'll be at 123.
288
00:26:11,668 --> 00:26:13,751
What's on your mind?
289
00:26:14,376 --> 00:26:19,959
This may sound stupid, but what
happened to just "being yourself"?
290
00:26:21,626 --> 00:26:26,418
OK, Chris, your mother raised you
to be nice and sweet.
291
00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:32,834
And worst of all, to be yourself.
What if "yourself" isn't good enough?
292
00:26:32,834 --> 00:26:37,709
What if "yourself"
is a boring, ugly nerd?
293
00:26:37,709 --> 00:26:41,293
If you smell bad, take a shower.
294
00:26:41,293 --> 00:26:45,501
If there's a dead whore
in your living room, get rid of her.
295
00:26:45,501 --> 00:26:48,543
Adaptation is as natural as evolution.
296
00:26:48,543 --> 00:26:55,001
"Yourself" is a term for losers
who sit at home whacking off. Agreed?
297
00:26:55,001 --> 00:26:57,293
- Yes.
- Pimp.
298
00:26:58,084 --> 00:27:00,001
For starters:
299
00:27:00,001 --> 00:27:05,168
It's essential that you control
every social situation.
300
00:27:05,543 --> 00:27:10,876
It helps if you're wealthy
or have a magical penis like Leo, -
301
00:27:10,876 --> 00:27:15,293
- but all it comes down to
is how you communicate.
302
00:27:15,293 --> 00:27:21,334
Most girls think that a set number
of boys are their perfect match.
303
00:27:21,334 --> 00:27:25,126
And that's fine.
We can take advantage of that.
304
00:27:25,126 --> 00:27:31,501
Get as close to her physically
as possible, without it being awkward.
305
00:27:31,501 --> 00:27:37,459
You're a little too close to Leo now,
but look how close I am to you.
306
00:27:37,459 --> 00:27:41,751
With indirect body language,
I can get much closer.
307
00:27:41,751 --> 00:27:46,459
But what if I go like this?
"Hey, can I buy you a drink?"
308
00:27:46,459 --> 00:27:50,751
- Touch everyone, even boys.
- You mean grope?
309
00:27:50,751 --> 00:27:55,084
No, don't grope.
Create physical closeness.
310
00:27:55,084 --> 00:27:58,251
Always touch them in a natural manner.
311
00:27:58,251 --> 00:28:01,959
She'll never want you
to play with her pussy, -
312
00:28:01,959 --> 00:28:06,584
- unless you've played with
her arms and shoulders first.
313
00:28:07,209 --> 00:28:13,126
Analyze who they are with.
All other boys are considered enemies.
314
00:28:13,126 --> 00:28:17,293
More on that later.
What do you see over there?
315
00:28:17,293 --> 00:28:19,043
- Two girls.
- Wrong.
316
00:28:19,043 --> 00:28:22,501
A hot girl with an ugly girlfriend.
317
00:28:27,751 --> 00:28:30,543
Ready?
What's she look like?
318
00:28:30,543 --> 00:28:33,709
Huh? Right.
She has a white shirt...
319
00:28:33,709 --> 00:28:36,751
Wrong!
She's naked on top of you!
320
00:28:50,751 --> 00:28:55,001
Hi, you look great!
How's it going?
321
00:28:55,001 --> 00:28:57,084
How do you know Karl?
322
00:28:57,084 --> 00:28:58,751
Who?
323
00:29:04,251 --> 00:29:09,376
Three-second rule: Talk to someone
you like within three seconds.
324
00:29:09,376 --> 00:29:13,668
- What should I say?
- It's all about the delivery.
325
00:29:17,334 --> 00:29:21,918
Hi! This is my roommate.
The coolest guy in the world.
326
00:29:21,918 --> 00:29:23,459
Hi.
Tove.
327
00:29:23,459 --> 00:29:28,001
Tove is a nurse,
but she's terrified of shots.
328
00:29:28,001 --> 00:29:29,751
Cool!
329
00:29:33,043 --> 00:29:36,209
So...why are you so afraid of shots?
330
00:29:38,459 --> 00:29:42,251
I probably got scared
when I was a kid, or something.
331
00:29:42,251 --> 00:29:45,918
- We aren't actually roommates.
- Who?
332
00:29:45,918 --> 00:29:48,751
Me and...
Me and Karl.
333
00:29:48,751 --> 00:29:53,793
I mean, we live together.
In the same apartment.
334
00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:58,709
That is, I moved in.
From Stavanger.
335
00:29:58,876 --> 00:30:01,626
You have beautiful eyes.
336
00:30:02,126 --> 00:30:04,001
Thank you.
337
00:30:04,001 --> 00:30:06,376
I'm a little thirsty.
338
00:30:09,793 --> 00:30:12,459
- What would you like?
- Strawberry daiquiri.
339
00:30:12,459 --> 00:30:15,459
One strawberry daggery.
340
00:30:16,043 --> 00:30:20,834
I was wondering.
Could I have your phone number?
341
00:30:20,834 --> 00:30:24,001
- I don't know...
- You have a boyfriend?
342
00:30:24,001 --> 00:30:25,626
- No.
- You don't?
343
00:30:27,001 --> 00:30:28,709
Come on.
344
00:30:29,126 --> 00:30:30,918
Let's have it.
345
00:30:35,668 --> 00:30:37,501
But...
346
00:30:37,501 --> 00:30:43,084
I have to work early tomorrow.
I should probably get going.
347
00:30:47,376 --> 00:30:51,876
- What was that?
- A free drink and some attention.
348
00:30:51,876 --> 00:30:54,918
- Never start by buying them a drink.
- I didn't!
349
00:30:54,918 --> 00:30:56,293
You did.
350
00:30:56,293 --> 00:31:01,418
She just lumped you together
with the rest of the goats.
351
00:31:01,418 --> 00:31:06,043
You elevated her way above you.
She should buy you a drink.
352
00:31:08,751 --> 00:31:10,918
- How did it go?
- I got her number.
353
00:31:10,918 --> 00:31:12,918
Let me see!
354
00:31:16,251 --> 00:31:19,543
What did you do?
What should I say?
355
00:31:19,543 --> 00:31:22,793
Say hi.
Invite her up here, or something.
356
00:31:22,793 --> 00:31:24,543
Hello?
357
00:31:27,084 --> 00:31:30,793
- What happened?
- It was an old folks' home.
358
00:31:30,793 --> 00:31:35,501
- It was the night watchman.
- Don't worry about it.
359
00:31:35,918 --> 00:31:39,918
She's a nurse.
It was probably her work number.
360
00:31:50,043 --> 00:31:54,918
Holy crap, Karl!
You still have your dildo collection?
361
00:31:54,918 --> 00:31:57,209
I told you I did.
362
00:31:57,209 --> 00:32:01,168
This is Nils.
This is Johnny, who resembles Leo's.
363
00:32:01,168 --> 00:32:04,209
Flicky, and Big Jim.
364
00:32:05,334 --> 00:32:07,168
Perfect.
365
00:32:13,168 --> 00:32:16,834
Leo's about to fuck that girl.
366
00:32:16,834 --> 00:32:20,543
Hearing other people have sex
makes chicks horny.
367
00:32:20,543 --> 00:32:23,459
That's when we strike.
I'll take Guro.
368
00:32:23,459 --> 00:32:27,334
That Filipino chick goes crazy
once she's naked.
369
00:32:27,334 --> 00:32:28,959
Or so I've heard.
370
00:32:28,959 --> 00:32:31,251
- Are you in?
- Sure.
371
00:32:37,251 --> 00:32:39,126
Here we go!
372
00:33:22,251 --> 00:33:26,209
Imagine if we ended up
on a desert island.
373
00:33:26,209 --> 00:33:31,168
That would suck.
I have to leave now. See you later.
374
00:33:41,001 --> 00:33:46,459
- How long before you go over to her?
- Three seconds tops.
375
00:33:46,459 --> 00:33:49,043
And if she asks for a drink?
376
00:33:49,043 --> 00:33:53,084
Politely decline,
and try to get her to buy me one.
377
00:33:53,084 --> 00:33:57,293
Excellent.
We've fed you a lot of information.
378
00:33:57,293 --> 00:34:02,251
All that's important now,
is that you're totally relaxed.
379
00:34:21,751 --> 00:34:24,334
- Hi!
- Hi.
380
00:34:40,876 --> 00:34:44,001
- Sorry.
- Don't worry about it.
381
00:34:44,001 --> 00:34:47,001
I didn't know what to say.
382
00:34:49,043 --> 00:34:51,543
- Hi, I'm Leo.
- Hi, Leo.
383
00:34:51,543 --> 00:34:55,501
- Have you met Christian?
- Hi. Christian.
384
00:34:55,501 --> 00:34:58,793
We went to
music kindergarten together.
385
00:34:58,793 --> 00:35:03,668
He's the only person I know
who plays rhythm sticks off-key.
386
00:35:03,668 --> 00:35:05,334
Feed the goat.
387
00:35:05,334 --> 00:35:10,126
Leo played this little mini guitar
while I sang.
388
00:35:10,126 --> 00:35:15,209
The kindergarten teachers
threw their bras at us.
389
00:35:15,209 --> 00:35:18,793
- What did you want to become?
- A stewardess.
390
00:35:27,209 --> 00:35:30,418
- What was that?
- That can happen to anyone.
391
00:35:30,418 --> 00:35:31,918
What do I do now?
392
00:35:35,959 --> 00:35:39,126
- Fuck it. Take her back.
- Are you nuts?
393
00:35:39,126 --> 00:35:43,834
Trust me.
Just go right over there and kiss her.
394
00:35:43,834 --> 00:35:47,543
- Are you sure...
- Shut up. Go for the kiss.
395
00:36:03,501 --> 00:36:08,084
What the hell do you think
you're doing, snail dick?
396
00:36:10,918 --> 00:36:12,834
Good work, boss!
397
00:36:17,418 --> 00:36:19,418
What the hell?
398
00:36:20,459 --> 00:36:26,043
- Hang on, let me kill this faggot.
- He's with me. I told him to do it.
399
00:36:26,043 --> 00:36:28,668
Really?
Nice to meet you.
400
00:36:29,543 --> 00:36:32,751
I'm The Punisher.
Let's get a drink.
401
00:36:37,959 --> 00:36:40,376
Karl may seem cynical.
402
00:36:40,834 --> 00:36:46,209
But compared to The Punisher
he's a study in refined style.
403
00:36:46,209 --> 00:36:52,293
That goat has a constant hard-on.
He won't stop until he gets laid.
404
00:36:53,251 --> 00:36:56,376
And when he eventually does score, -
405
00:36:56,376 --> 00:37:00,084
- he always tries
to butt-fuck the girl.
406
00:37:00,084 --> 00:37:03,834
He feels they deserve it
for playing hard to get.
407
00:37:03,834 --> 00:37:06,959
Thus the name, The Punisher.
408
00:37:11,793 --> 00:37:14,126
It's a fucking war out there.
409
00:37:14,126 --> 00:37:16,084
A war?
410
00:37:16,084 --> 00:37:18,084
- Hi there!
- Hi!
411
00:37:18,084 --> 00:37:21,043
It's great to see you again.
412
00:37:21,043 --> 00:37:24,418
Last time was a little embarrassing.
413
00:37:24,418 --> 00:37:28,251
You have nothing
to be embarrassed about.
414
00:37:28,251 --> 00:37:32,501
But you did propose to me,
so we are engaged.
415
00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:35,043
You said yes?
416
00:37:35,043 --> 00:37:38,668
Nyah.
I said I'd think about it.
417
00:37:38,668 --> 00:37:42,376
- Hi. Good to see you again.
- Hi!
418
00:37:42,376 --> 00:37:45,626
- Hi. Line.
- Hi. Kine.
419
00:37:45,626 --> 00:37:48,709
- Kine and Trine?
- Kine and Line.
420
00:37:48,709 --> 00:37:50,876
Gotta keep my dick straight.
421
00:40:32,709 --> 00:40:34,459
Hey...
422
00:40:35,709 --> 00:40:37,834
Is it OK if we just...
423
00:40:37,834 --> 00:40:40,293
Sure.
Of course.
424
00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:49,001
I'm not the type to stick my finger
up girls' asses on the dance floor.
425
00:41:49,001 --> 00:41:53,043
The Punisher's just messing around.
426
00:41:53,043 --> 00:41:58,751
Why do girls go home with cavemen
who use their dicks like clubs?
427
00:41:59,209 --> 00:42:00,959
I don't get it.
428
00:42:01,918 --> 00:42:05,668
Aren't you working on
a degree in sociology?
429
00:42:05,668 --> 00:42:09,668
You're the scholar here.
Figure it out.
430
00:42:23,834 --> 00:42:26,251
Equal rights in Noray
431
00:42:45,084 --> 00:42:47,793
"My Crack, Back & Shaven Sack. "
432
00:42:47,793 --> 00:42:51,584
"The division of power
between the sexes -
433
00:42:51,584 --> 00:42:54,293
- in today's post-feminist society."
434
00:42:54,293 --> 00:42:59,918
- What's it about?
- It's about living in Norway in 2013.
435
00:43:00,959 --> 00:43:02,459
With a penis.
436
00:43:03,501 --> 00:43:05,459
Is that a bad thing?
437
00:43:05,459 --> 00:43:10,293
In Norway today, women live
five years longer than men.
438
00:43:10,293 --> 00:43:13,584
Nine out of ten jail inmates are men.
439
00:43:13,584 --> 00:43:17,418
Three of four suicides.
We have military service.
440
00:43:17,418 --> 00:43:22,751
Men are overrepresented when
it comes to accidents, drowning, -
441
00:43:22,751 --> 00:43:24,918
- drunkenness, depression.
442
00:43:24,918 --> 00:43:29,418
In nine of ten divorces,
the women get the children.
443
00:43:29,418 --> 00:43:33,584
Women get better grades than men
in 90 % of courses.
444
00:43:33,584 --> 00:43:37,834
And women have all the power
in the gender market.
445
00:43:37,834 --> 00:43:43,751
- We were oppressed for 60,000 years.
- But I'm talking about today.
446
00:43:44,334 --> 00:43:48,584
- So now you're the oppressed ones?
- Yes.
447
00:43:48,584 --> 00:43:53,001
Everyone can see it, but women
are still portrayed as the victims.
448
00:43:53,001 --> 00:43:56,459
Just because
there are fewer female leaders.
449
00:43:56,459 --> 00:43:58,709
So why are fewer leaders female?
450
00:43:58,709 --> 00:44:05,584
Because being the CEO of Statoil is
a shit job that no one really wants.
451
00:44:05,584 --> 00:44:08,751
Unless you're a narcissistic bastard
that loves pussy.
452
00:44:08,751 --> 00:44:10,793
- And money.
- And power.
453
00:44:10,793 --> 00:44:14,043
And what do you use that
money and power for?
454
00:44:14,043 --> 00:44:18,459
To drink champagne out of the ass
of some hot heiress.
455
00:44:18,459 --> 00:44:23,709
I'm not sure it's as lopsided
as you make it sound.
456
00:44:23,709 --> 00:44:27,543
Chris,
tonight I'm taking you to Nirvana.
457
00:44:40,209 --> 00:44:45,751
Are we picking up lesbians?
This place is full of homos.
458
00:44:45,751 --> 00:44:50,626
Relax. Savor the atmosphere.
How many desperate men do you see?
459
00:44:50,626 --> 00:44:55,834
How many grumpy girls
yelling at some guy for making a move?
460
00:44:57,876 --> 00:45:02,584
- I've never been to a gay bar.
- You're treated like a human here.
461
00:45:02,584 --> 00:45:05,876
It's a great place
to hang out and relax.
462
00:45:05,876 --> 00:45:10,043
Here, any one man
is worth as much as another.
463
00:45:11,834 --> 00:45:13,543
Look at that guy.
464
00:45:14,626 --> 00:45:19,834
Jesus, another ten shots,
and he could have me fooled.
465
00:45:21,501 --> 00:45:25,043
Have you ever done it?
With a man?
466
00:45:26,376 --> 00:45:28,876
It isn't my cup of tea.
467
00:45:28,876 --> 00:45:30,751
- How about you?
- Right!
468
00:45:31,376 --> 00:45:35,584
I'm 24 years old
and have had sex with two women.
469
00:45:35,584 --> 00:45:40,459
I'm due a little more pussy
before I switch to cock and ass.
470
00:45:40,459 --> 00:45:42,626
Did I hear "ass"?
471
00:45:44,543 --> 00:45:47,293
- Mind if we join you?
- Not at all!
472
00:45:49,626 --> 00:45:53,001
Ten shots.
You said ten shots.
473
00:45:55,043 --> 00:45:57,834
- Cheers!
- Cumshots!
474
00:46:02,876 --> 00:46:05,084
OK!
Hang on...
475
00:46:05,084 --> 00:46:08,918
Christian, bring those two girls home.
476
00:46:08,918 --> 00:46:13,668
Can't we just pretend like
we're gay tonight?
477
00:46:13,668 --> 00:46:17,001
- Not a chance. Go!
- Christian!
478
00:46:17,709 --> 00:46:20,793
Hi, excuse me for interrupting.
479
00:46:20,793 --> 00:46:26,834
Could I just stand here
and pretend like I'm picking you up?
480
00:46:26,834 --> 00:46:31,418
Just until my friend is satisfied?
He won't stop nagging.
481
00:46:31,418 --> 00:46:33,626
- Of course.
- Cool.
482
00:46:34,668 --> 00:46:38,626
Quite the pressure.
Could I bum a cigarette?
483
00:46:38,626 --> 00:46:42,126
- Where are we going now?
- My place!
484
00:46:42,126 --> 00:46:45,418
- Isn't he coming?
- No, he has things to do.
485
00:46:45,418 --> 00:46:47,043
How old are you?
486
00:46:47,043 --> 00:46:48,751
58.
487
00:46:48,751 --> 00:46:50,584
And you?
488
00:46:50,584 --> 00:46:53,209
- What do you think?
- 16.
489
00:47:35,251 --> 00:47:37,459
- Hi.
- Shh!
490
00:47:39,793 --> 00:47:43,043
- Are you in here?
- Who is that?
491
00:47:45,543 --> 00:47:47,459
Hi.
I'm Christian.
492
00:47:49,376 --> 00:47:53,209
Have you eaten?
Why don't I make breakfast?
493
00:47:53,209 --> 00:47:54,918
No, I'm fine.
494
00:47:55,543 --> 00:47:59,751
Where are the car keys, mom?
I'm meeting Kaja.
495
00:47:59,751 --> 00:48:03,334
- You can drive Christian home.
- Seriously?
496
00:48:03,334 --> 00:48:06,626
No, really.
Don't worry about me.
497
00:48:06,626 --> 00:48:10,043
- It's the least we can do.
- I'll take the tram.
498
00:48:31,668 --> 00:48:34,793
- Talk to me.
- What?
499
00:48:34,793 --> 00:48:38,001
No bullshit.
Have you fucked?
500
00:48:42,459 --> 00:48:44,209
Yes!
501
00:48:46,126 --> 00:48:47,501
Fuck!
502
00:48:54,001 --> 00:48:56,459
What the hell is going on?
503
00:49:00,001 --> 00:49:03,084
- Did you get laid?
- Like a madman!
504
00:49:03,084 --> 00:49:06,376
- She was pretty old.
- Shut up! Women age like wine!
505
00:49:06,376 --> 00:49:09,168
I'm proud of you.
Well done.
506
00:49:09,876 --> 00:49:13,209
Chris, stand up.
Stand up!
507
00:49:15,293 --> 00:49:19,834
I hereby appoint you
as Oslo Fuck Club's -
508
00:49:19,834 --> 00:49:23,084
- first official Big Cat.
509
00:49:24,876 --> 00:49:26,876
For the one of us who, -
510
00:49:26,876 --> 00:49:30,959
- at any given time,
last fucked a new chick.
511
00:49:34,209 --> 00:49:36,126
OK, fuck it.
512
00:49:36,126 --> 00:49:39,959
You have been fantastic.
You too, Leo.
513
00:49:39,959 --> 00:49:45,709
I'll admit it. I've been holding back.
But that's over now.
514
00:49:45,709 --> 00:49:52,001
Now it's all about cock, pussy, S&M
in the woods and fucking lesbians.
515
00:49:52,001 --> 00:49:54,543
Try stopping me, Middle Cat.
516
00:49:54,543 --> 00:49:57,168
- Burn!
- Shut up, Baby Cat!
517
00:49:57,168 --> 00:49:59,168
Come on.
Maja!
518
00:49:59,584 --> 00:50:01,751
Maja!
519
00:50:02,959 --> 00:50:07,251
- Time for a party!
- I'll kill your whole family, Karl!
520
00:50:07,751 --> 00:50:12,584
OK. We have six hours
to organize the party of the year.
521
00:50:12,584 --> 00:50:15,834
The mother-in-law of all parties.
522
00:50:15,834 --> 00:50:20,876
Chris, you have to find
as much alcohol as you possibly can.
523
00:50:20,876 --> 00:50:26,959
Leo, you handle the crazy shit. Here's
my card, don't tell me what you buy.
524
00:50:26,959 --> 00:50:33,501
Maja, you call every girl you have
ever met in the surrounding area.
525
00:50:33,501 --> 00:50:37,001
- You know more than I do.
- He's fucked 90 % of them.
526
00:50:37,001 --> 00:50:40,918
It would be kind of like Hefner,
partying with girls you've screwed.
527
00:50:40,918 --> 00:50:44,043
- Fine, we both score chicks.
- Fuck you.
528
00:50:44,043 --> 00:50:46,751
- Excellent.
- Maja?
529
00:50:46,751 --> 00:50:50,793
- What if we don't feed the goat?
- It gets hungry.
530
00:50:50,793 --> 00:50:52,418
Feed the goat!
531
00:51:25,501 --> 00:51:29,293
- You should get a jacuzzi.
- More champagne?
532
00:51:31,584 --> 00:51:33,459
- Hi.
- Hi.
533
00:51:36,293 --> 00:51:39,043
I was invited, if...
534
00:51:39,043 --> 00:51:41,584
Of course, no problem.
535
00:51:41,584 --> 00:51:46,001
As long as it's been cleared
by the goat.
536
00:51:46,001 --> 00:51:49,168
So...
It's good to see you.
537
00:51:49,168 --> 00:51:51,334
Likewise.
538
00:51:51,334 --> 00:51:55,918
- You want something to drink?
- I brought my own.
539
00:51:57,668 --> 00:51:59,584
Dick or sack?
540
00:51:59,584 --> 00:52:02,084
- Huh?
- Dick or sack?
541
00:52:07,334 --> 00:52:09,334
Sack?
542
00:52:09,334 --> 00:52:11,626
Wrong.
It was dick.
543
00:52:12,459 --> 00:52:18,793
I thought you of all people would
recognize a dick when you saw one.
544
00:53:06,751 --> 00:53:10,751
Hey, maybe it's time
to start calming down?
545
00:53:10,751 --> 00:53:14,209
The goat needs to be fed.
It needs to.
546
00:53:14,209 --> 00:53:17,459
Or else the SPCA
will get mad at us -
547
00:53:17,459 --> 00:53:21,251
- and all hell will break loose.
We don't want that.
548
00:54:35,834 --> 00:54:37,584
Sorry!
549
00:54:42,584 --> 00:54:44,418
Listen...
550
00:54:45,251 --> 00:54:47,459
I should leave now.
551
00:54:47,459 --> 00:54:50,084
Do you want to walk me out?
552
00:54:50,084 --> 00:54:53,084
I just have to say bye to Maja.
553
00:54:53,084 --> 00:54:56,668
Thanks for tonight.
It was awesome.
554
00:55:09,126 --> 00:55:14,043
I think it's best for everyone
if I go home with you.
555
00:56:43,334 --> 00:56:45,126
Hello!
556
00:56:47,876 --> 00:56:51,668
How are things here?
Did I wake you up?
557
00:56:54,626 --> 00:56:57,668
Were you at a party last night?
558
00:57:05,459 --> 00:57:09,126
All right, bye.
See you on Sunday.
559
00:57:31,209 --> 00:57:33,126
There you go.
560
00:57:35,626 --> 00:57:37,543
What's your name?
561
00:57:37,543 --> 00:57:39,209
Mads, was it?
562
00:57:40,168 --> 00:57:42,084
Mads is a super name.
563
00:57:43,126 --> 00:57:45,126
How old are you?
564
00:57:46,543 --> 00:57:48,501
How old are you?
565
00:57:48,501 --> 00:57:49,918
One?
566
00:57:49,918 --> 00:57:52,959
- Answer Christian.
- Two?
567
00:57:52,959 --> 00:57:55,501
You don't have to answer.
568
00:57:56,668 --> 00:57:58,418
Hello!
569
00:57:59,334 --> 00:58:01,084
Hello!
570
00:58:09,543 --> 00:58:11,376
You just spilled some.
571
00:58:46,751 --> 00:58:51,209
My first draft is due
in early December.
572
00:58:55,459 --> 00:58:57,168
Yeah.
573
00:58:58,751 --> 00:59:01,334
No, that didn't work out.
574
00:59:04,334 --> 00:59:07,543
She ended up in bed with Karl.
575
00:59:08,959 --> 00:59:14,668
No, it wasn't like that. They didn't
even know who the other one was.
576
00:59:14,668 --> 00:59:17,168
No, mom.
It isn't...
577
00:59:17,168 --> 00:59:20,543
He doesn't even know her name.
578
00:59:20,543 --> 00:59:23,334
Stop.
It's no big deal.
579
00:59:23,751 --> 00:59:27,126
Anyway, I have met someone else.
580
00:59:28,168 --> 00:59:31,001
Yeah.
Her name is Elisa.
581
00:59:31,501 --> 00:59:33,418
So that's...
582
00:59:33,418 --> 00:59:36,668
Yes, she's very cool.
A very cool girl.
583
00:59:42,751 --> 00:59:45,043
Hey, Karl, come here.
584
00:59:48,501 --> 00:59:50,834
- That looks great.
- What?
585
00:59:50,834 --> 00:59:54,168
You coming out with us tonight?
586
00:59:54,168 --> 00:59:56,751
Elisa and I are meeting Maja.
587
00:59:56,751 --> 01:00:01,084
You've been hanging out for weeks.
Are you an item?
588
01:00:01,501 --> 01:00:03,626
- I don't know.
- What's that mean?
589
01:00:03,626 --> 01:00:07,626
It means we enjoy
each other's company.
590
01:00:07,626 --> 01:00:10,709
Does it have to be more complicated?
591
01:00:11,168 --> 01:00:14,126
- Are you her boyfriend now?
- No.
592
01:00:14,126 --> 01:00:19,626
- You're just getting the hang of this.
- You need at least one more.
593
01:00:20,293 --> 01:00:25,376
Why get continually rejected,
when I can have fun with Elisa?
594
01:00:25,376 --> 01:00:28,751
OK, I have a plan.
Bring Elisa, -
595
01:00:28,751 --> 01:00:32,126
- and score a threesome.
She'll be game.
596
01:00:33,209 --> 01:00:38,584
I don't think she's into that.
And she has her kid this weekend.
597
01:00:39,001 --> 01:00:41,959
- Elisa has a kid?
- How old?
598
01:00:41,959 --> 01:00:43,834
Two, maybe?
599
01:00:44,418 --> 01:00:46,251
Whew!
600
01:00:48,709 --> 01:00:50,418
What?
601
01:00:50,876 --> 01:00:52,334
Hm?
602
01:00:54,376 --> 01:00:56,043
Have you...
603
01:00:57,126 --> 01:00:58,418
When?
604
01:00:58,418 --> 01:01:01,876
Christ, it was like four years ago.
605
01:01:01,876 --> 01:01:06,334
- It was at this crazy after-party.
- You too?
606
01:01:06,334 --> 01:01:09,334
We were wasted, or stoned.
607
01:01:09,334 --> 01:01:12,459
It was no big deal.
It was just for kicks.
608
01:01:12,459 --> 01:01:17,626
So you and Leo fucked Elisa
at the same time?
609
01:01:17,626 --> 01:01:21,584
- Was anyone else involved?
- No, just us.
610
01:01:21,584 --> 01:01:27,418
- But, shit, she's smoking hot!
- It was just some drunken fun.
611
01:01:38,834 --> 01:01:43,793
She would probably have told you
if she wanted you to know.
612
01:01:43,793 --> 01:01:48,751
"By the way, your buddies
double-penetrated my ass."
613
01:01:48,751 --> 01:01:54,626
"But I'm done with that now.
Let's do it the normal way."
614
01:01:54,626 --> 01:01:56,376
Come on, Christian!
615
01:01:56,376 --> 01:02:01,959
Let's go find the lesbian national
yoga team and have an eightsome.
616
01:02:29,834 --> 01:02:32,918
How many have you had sex with?
617
01:02:34,418 --> 01:02:37,918
What kind of a question is that?
618
01:02:37,918 --> 01:02:40,376
I'm just curious.
619
01:02:40,376 --> 01:02:42,001
OK.
620
01:02:43,584 --> 01:02:45,459
34, I think.
621
01:02:46,168 --> 01:02:49,168
Or 33.
Something like that.
622
01:02:52,543 --> 01:02:55,876
Have you ever been in a threesome?
623
01:02:55,876 --> 01:02:59,043
Why are you asking me that?
624
01:03:03,251 --> 01:03:07,876
Over there, isn't that
that girl you made out with?
625
01:03:09,168 --> 01:03:11,418
Maybe she could join us?
626
01:03:15,501 --> 01:03:19,834
Christ! I thought you were serious
for a second.
627
01:03:19,834 --> 01:03:21,793
What do you mean?
628
01:03:22,918 --> 01:03:25,459
What, are you serious?
629
01:03:29,293 --> 01:03:31,543
- OK.
- OK?
630
01:03:31,543 --> 01:03:35,251
- So you're up for it?
- Yeah, sure.
631
01:03:35,251 --> 01:03:37,001
I don't know.
632
01:03:37,793 --> 01:03:39,543
Or...
633
01:03:39,959 --> 01:03:41,709
No.
634
01:03:42,793 --> 01:03:44,793
Why not?
635
01:03:44,793 --> 01:03:46,418
Because...
636
01:03:46,418 --> 01:03:49,251
Because I don't want to.
637
01:03:53,709 --> 01:03:56,126
How about a foursome?
638
01:03:57,709 --> 01:04:02,668
We can bring in Karl and Leo
and all fuck together.
639
01:04:08,168 --> 01:04:09,709
Listen...
640
01:04:09,709 --> 01:04:13,334
That happened ages ago, Christian.
641
01:04:14,334 --> 01:04:19,084
- Why are you being like this?
- Like what?
642
01:04:19,084 --> 01:04:23,293
- Like a guy who's into threesomes?
- I don't want to.
643
01:04:23,293 --> 01:04:26,709
Why don't you ask
how many I have slept with?
644
01:04:27,209 --> 01:04:30,751
- You know there aren't many.
- I don't care!
645
01:04:30,751 --> 01:04:35,709
- Why didn't you say something?
- I didn't see it as a problem.
646
01:04:35,709 --> 01:04:37,876
This is so typical!
647
01:04:37,876 --> 01:04:42,126
Karl and Leo can fuck around because
they're men, but I'm a woman...
648
01:04:42,126 --> 01:04:47,959
I'm not talking about what you
have done. I'm talking about us.
649
01:04:48,459 --> 01:04:51,626
You're trying to force me
into a fuck orgy!
650
01:04:51,626 --> 01:04:57,293
Fine, since you're beyond all that,
let's move in together.
651
01:04:57,293 --> 01:05:02,918
And I can be Mads' substitute dad,
since he's so crazy about me!
652
01:05:09,168 --> 01:05:11,168
Don't call me.
653
01:09:58,959 --> 01:10:00,459
Out you go.
654
01:10:04,709 --> 01:10:08,209
You and Kevin Danielsen were arrested.
655
01:10:09,418 --> 01:10:13,584
Kevin who?
I don't know a Kevin Danielsen.
656
01:10:13,584 --> 01:10:15,959
You called him -
657
01:10:15,959 --> 01:10:20,209
- The Punisher last night.
Do you know him, or not?
658
01:10:20,209 --> 01:10:21,876
I do.
659
01:10:21,876 --> 01:10:28,876
You have been charged with violating
Penal Code section 192-A:
660
01:10:28,876 --> 01:10:33,126
"Sexual intercourse accomplished
by violence or menace."
661
01:10:33,126 --> 01:10:36,501
"Punishable by
up to 10 years in prison."
662
01:10:36,501 --> 01:10:41,751
I suggest you get yourself a lawyer.
You will be released...
663
01:11:34,876 --> 01:11:37,334
- Karl!
- I told you so!
664
01:11:38,251 --> 01:11:39,959
Up you go!
665
01:11:39,959 --> 01:11:42,793
You doubted your cock.
666
01:11:42,793 --> 01:11:46,959
But you've just fucked with that cock,
haven't you?
667
01:11:49,126 --> 01:11:53,584
Five chicks, and it isn't even
Christmas yet. Damn I'm good!
668
01:11:53,584 --> 01:11:57,793
You've become
a goddam fucking machine!
669
01:11:57,793 --> 01:12:00,376
I have to go get laid.
670
01:12:19,001 --> 01:12:20,834
Christian?
671
01:12:23,084 --> 01:12:25,543
Yes.
672
01:12:25,543 --> 01:12:28,043
- Sandwich?
- Excuse me?
673
01:12:28,043 --> 01:12:32,084
- Would you like a sandwich?
- No, thanks.
674
01:12:33,418 --> 01:12:36,418
I've looked at what you gave me.
675
01:12:37,001 --> 01:12:42,376
- This shouldn't be a problem.
- OK. What does that mean?
676
01:12:42,376 --> 01:12:46,793
That means
they don't have enough evidence.
677
01:12:46,793 --> 01:12:50,834
So you'll probably get off scot-free.
678
01:12:52,751 --> 01:12:55,709
What if they do have enough evidence?
679
01:12:55,709 --> 01:12:58,709
Then you risk some years
in the slammer.
680
01:12:59,293 --> 01:13:03,168
Or a fine.
Depending on what they find.
681
01:13:03,709 --> 01:13:06,043
Sure you don't want a sandwich?
682
01:13:35,168 --> 01:13:38,293
Aren't you going to eat?
683
01:13:38,293 --> 01:13:41,001
No, I'm not that hungry.
684
01:13:41,001 --> 01:13:44,459
- Are you sick?
- No, I'm not sick.
685
01:13:46,501 --> 01:13:48,501
You look sick.
686
01:13:48,501 --> 01:13:53,751
It's called a hangover.
That's a grown-up sickness.
687
01:13:55,501 --> 01:13:58,709
How's it going with the ladies?
688
01:14:00,293 --> 01:14:02,334
Fine, I guess.
689
01:14:02,334 --> 01:14:04,751
Do you have a girlfriend?
690
01:14:04,751 --> 01:14:06,543
- No.
- Why not?
691
01:14:08,459 --> 01:14:11,293
Leave Christian alone now.
692
01:14:18,584 --> 01:14:21,501
Hey, how are you really doing?
693
01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:26,084
I'm fine.
Just have a lot on my mind.
694
01:14:26,793 --> 01:14:29,751
- I'm very proud of you.
- Stop it.
695
01:14:29,751 --> 01:14:34,084
I mean it.
You've always been such a sweet boy.
696
01:14:34,084 --> 01:14:39,501
No matter what you do,
I will always be proud of you.
697
01:14:42,834 --> 01:14:48,501
But listen, if something has happened,
you have to be honest.
698
01:14:48,501 --> 01:14:51,668
Then everything will work out.
699
01:14:51,668 --> 01:14:53,918
- Duly noted.
- OK?
700
01:14:57,834 --> 01:15:00,959
Good night.
Sleep tight.
701
01:15:20,543 --> 01:15:22,251
Hey!
702
01:15:22,876 --> 01:15:26,043
Hi, it's you.
I thought...
703
01:15:26,043 --> 01:15:29,251
Never mind.
I've been thinking.
704
01:15:29,251 --> 01:15:31,584
- About what?
- My case.
705
01:15:31,584 --> 01:15:34,418
Shit, I forgot to tell you!
706
01:15:34,418 --> 01:15:37,084
I got a call a few days ago.
707
01:15:37,084 --> 01:15:40,043
All the charges have been dropped.
708
01:15:40,043 --> 01:15:44,376
She wasn't up for a full trial.
I told you so.
709
01:15:44,376 --> 01:15:48,043
- But I want...
- It's very common.
710
01:15:54,959 --> 01:15:57,459
I want to confess.
711
01:15:57,459 --> 01:16:01,418
- Why?
- Because I can't live with this.
712
01:16:06,834 --> 01:16:11,334
Listen, she said she doesn't want
any more attention.
713
01:16:11,334 --> 01:16:17,543
The police have to drop a rape case
if there's no victim. Case closed.
714
01:16:17,543 --> 01:16:23,418
Don't force her to do something
she doesn't want to do. Again.
715
01:16:24,334 --> 01:16:25,626
OK?
716
01:16:26,334 --> 01:16:29,459
Put it behind you, Christian.
717
01:16:29,459 --> 01:16:31,543
Happy New Year.
718
01:16:54,251 --> 01:16:56,043
Christian?
719
01:16:56,043 --> 01:16:59,251
Can't you come out?
We miss you.
720
01:17:23,126 --> 01:17:25,084
Hi!
721
01:17:25,084 --> 01:17:26,543
What's this?
722
01:17:28,418 --> 01:17:34,751
This is...a prioritized list of girls'
names in case I get a daughter.
723
01:17:34,751 --> 01:17:39,626
- Are you going to be a dad?
- I don't know. Maybe.
724
01:17:39,626 --> 01:17:43,501
You don't have Tone there.
Mind if I add my name?
725
01:18:00,751 --> 01:18:02,084
Hi.
726
01:18:04,126 --> 01:18:05,709
Hi.
727
01:18:07,293 --> 01:18:09,251
How are you doing?
728
01:18:12,376 --> 01:18:13,668
I...
729
01:18:13,668 --> 01:18:15,543
Super.
730
01:18:24,709 --> 01:18:28,876
Has Karl told you
how he lost his virginity?
731
01:18:30,334 --> 01:18:34,918
Up by Lake Sognsvann,
with a girlfriend of mine.
732
01:18:34,918 --> 01:18:36,876
Sounds amazing...
733
01:18:38,001 --> 01:18:42,334
He didn't notice
that his nose started bleeding.
734
01:18:42,334 --> 01:18:44,876
Her face ended up covered in blood.
735
01:18:45,251 --> 01:18:48,626
Number one: Nosebleed Ellen.
736
01:18:51,251 --> 01:18:53,209
Yeah.
737
01:18:53,376 --> 01:18:57,751
- It isn't easy.
- You don't know the half of it.
738
01:19:00,709 --> 01:19:02,834
Here.
739
01:19:13,168 --> 01:19:15,209
- Is this Karl?
- Yes.
740
01:19:15,918 --> 01:19:20,834
So he clearly knows
what it feels like to be rejected.
741
01:19:26,126 --> 01:19:30,084
Listen,
I know Karl can be a total pain.
742
01:19:31,043 --> 01:19:36,251
Personally, I've never been a fan
of his womanizing.
743
01:19:37,793 --> 01:19:39,793
All those girls.
744
01:19:41,168 --> 01:19:46,001
But I let it slide because
it has had a positive effect on him.
745
01:19:46,001 --> 01:19:50,626
That's because
you're in love with him, Maja.
746
01:20:00,084 --> 01:20:01,918
Anyway...
747
01:20:04,168 --> 01:20:08,084
I know those guys can be
intense and irritating.
748
01:20:08,084 --> 01:20:14,626
But staring at the ceiling and
not talking to anyone, is also bad.
749
01:20:15,334 --> 01:20:18,209
If not for them, do it for me.
750
01:20:19,168 --> 01:20:23,709
I need someone to talk to out there
with an IQ over 70.
751
01:20:27,459 --> 01:20:29,501
- Maja?
- Hm?
752
01:20:37,376 --> 01:20:39,209
I have...
753
01:20:43,501 --> 01:20:46,668
Don't worry about it, Christian.
754
01:20:50,918 --> 01:20:54,918
Ladies and gentlemen, friends,
and you there...
755
01:20:54,918 --> 01:20:57,751
I don't know you, but I like you.
756
01:20:57,751 --> 01:21:04,959
It's awesome that so many of you are
still around after all our fuck-ups.
757
01:21:08,334 --> 01:21:15,084
But there is one person who has
made this a fantastic year for me.
758
01:21:15,084 --> 01:21:20,209
One of my favorite people
in the whole fucking world:
759
01:21:20,209 --> 01:21:22,043
Christian!
760
01:21:23,084 --> 01:21:26,918
He has changed my worldview -
761
01:21:26,918 --> 01:21:29,543
- with his naive kindness.
762
01:21:30,293 --> 01:21:35,084
And unbeknownst to him, he has helped
me and Leo write a book -
763
01:21:35,084 --> 01:21:39,876
- that will hopefully help
many desperate jerk-offs.
764
01:21:39,876 --> 01:21:43,376
He has been through
a boot camp from hell -
765
01:21:43,376 --> 01:21:47,501
- that makes the special forces
look like bitches.
766
01:21:47,501 --> 01:21:50,834
It's been hard, dark and miserable, -
767
01:21:50,834 --> 01:21:53,418
- but he rose to the occasion.
768
01:21:53,418 --> 01:21:57,209
Like a fucking phoenix from the ashes!
769
01:21:58,626 --> 01:22:01,918
It is a pick-up guide for men.
770
01:22:01,918 --> 01:22:07,168
How to go from man on the street
to fucking machine.
771
01:22:07,168 --> 01:22:13,459
123 tips, illustrated throughout with
pictures I have drawn of Christian.
772
01:22:14,418 --> 01:22:19,126
I would like to dedicate
the last toast of the year -
773
01:22:19,126 --> 01:22:22,043
- to Christian.
Cheers!
774
01:22:30,834 --> 01:22:34,501
Christian,
don't be such a party pooper.
775
01:22:37,543 --> 01:22:39,793
- Hey!
- What the hell?
776
01:22:43,126 --> 01:22:45,126
Take it easy!
777
01:22:51,834 --> 01:22:53,709
Christian!
778
01:24:31,001 --> 01:24:32,376
Christian!
779
01:25:15,876 --> 01:25:17,626
Hey, boss.
780
01:25:20,793 --> 01:25:22,876
Get lost.
Go away.
781
01:25:23,959 --> 01:25:27,334
I thought I'd try to talk you down.
782
01:25:27,334 --> 01:25:30,376
Just leave me alone.
For once.
783
01:25:31,251 --> 01:25:34,793
I'm not leaving here without you.
784
01:25:37,709 --> 01:25:40,084
OK.
So what is this?
785
01:25:40,834 --> 01:25:44,251
- The final chapter? You save me?
- Please...
786
01:25:44,251 --> 01:25:46,168
Chapter 123:
787
01:25:46,168 --> 01:25:50,043
Karl the Savior
rescues Christian the Pathetic.
788
01:25:50,043 --> 01:25:53,251
What do you think I am?
789
01:25:53,251 --> 01:25:57,501
I think you went behind my back
and wrote a book.
790
01:25:57,501 --> 01:26:02,918
You fucked someone you knew I liked.
You forced me...
791
01:26:02,918 --> 01:26:06,959
Leo and I didn't force you
to do anything.
792
01:26:07,751 --> 01:26:11,001
OK?
You went along voluntarily.
793
01:26:11,001 --> 01:26:16,209
- After you fucked Mylian.
- Yes, I fucked Mylian.
794
01:26:16,209 --> 01:26:21,793
I realized you liked her,
so I fucked her. And it helped.
795
01:26:21,793 --> 01:26:25,334
- It helped?
- Yes. Say what you want.
796
01:26:25,334 --> 01:26:30,418
You are a much better man
than that wimp I met six months ago.
797
01:26:30,418 --> 01:26:36,918
If you keep listening to me, I can
guarantee you an awesome life.
798
01:26:36,918 --> 01:26:41,084
And you know it.
I did all that to open your eyes.
799
01:26:41,084 --> 01:26:46,043
To give you a chance
to avoid being constantly rejected.
800
01:26:46,043 --> 01:26:47,834
Open my eyes?
801
01:26:49,584 --> 01:26:52,834
You are so fucking stupid.
802
01:26:52,834 --> 01:26:57,251
Just tell me what's wrong,
and I'll help you.
803
01:26:58,043 --> 01:27:01,209
We raped a girl, Karl.
804
01:27:01,209 --> 01:27:03,334
Me and The Punisher.
805
01:27:04,709 --> 01:27:07,668
So fuck "being rejected."
806
01:27:09,876 --> 01:27:14,376
- Shit, I...
- You didn't think that would happen?
807
01:27:14,376 --> 01:27:17,126
Of course not.
You're an idiot.
808
01:27:17,126 --> 01:27:19,918
You have wasted half your life.
809
01:27:19,918 --> 01:27:22,126
Pissed it away.
810
01:27:23,251 --> 01:27:27,459
You claim I don't know
how the world works.
811
01:27:27,459 --> 01:27:32,334
You're the one who's forgotten
how the world works.
812
01:27:48,293 --> 01:27:50,334
Don't touch me!
813
01:28:38,168 --> 01:28:43,043
Hi. We have an appointment
with Christian Lunde.
814
01:29:03,168 --> 01:29:06,293
- Hey, Chris.
- Hi, boss.
815
01:29:12,293 --> 01:29:14,251
How's it going?
816
01:29:15,376 --> 01:29:17,209
Fine.
817
01:29:19,751 --> 01:29:21,293
And with you?
818
01:29:29,876 --> 01:29:32,459
Let's go find the bathroom.
819
01:29:39,834 --> 01:29:42,668
Seriously?
You and Maja?
820
01:29:43,751 --> 01:29:45,918
Pretty sick, huh?
821
01:29:47,543 --> 01:29:49,793
How did that happen?
822
01:29:49,793 --> 01:29:54,834
We argued for, like, three days.
She didn't believe me, so...
823
01:29:54,834 --> 01:29:56,626
I proposed.
824
01:30:15,584 --> 01:30:18,418
So how are you really doing?
825
01:30:20,084 --> 01:30:22,251
The doctor thinks -
826
01:30:23,168 --> 01:30:26,543
- I should stay a couple more weeks.
827
01:30:26,543 --> 01:30:29,209
But...I am doing fine.
828
01:30:31,918 --> 01:30:34,793
Have you gotten some diagnosis?
829
01:30:34,793 --> 01:30:38,001
Just your average depression.
830
01:30:39,918 --> 01:30:42,751
24 out of 30 on the scale.
831
01:30:52,543 --> 01:30:55,168
Listen, I would never...
832
01:30:56,126 --> 01:31:00,084
I would never have pushed you
if I had known...
833
01:31:01,834 --> 01:31:03,626
It's OK.
834
01:31:08,043 --> 01:31:10,834
You said lots of things that...
835
01:31:17,751 --> 01:31:19,876
I just wanted to...
836
01:31:21,418 --> 01:31:23,251
I don't know.
837
01:31:26,959 --> 01:31:29,959
I just want to apologize.
838
01:31:32,751 --> 01:31:34,501
Thank you.
839
01:31:37,334 --> 01:31:41,459
Anyway, I talked to our publisher.
840
01:31:41,459 --> 01:31:45,084
We decided to can the entire book.
841
01:31:45,084 --> 01:31:47,501
This is the last copy.
842
01:31:48,376 --> 01:31:51,459
Let me know, and I'll delete it.
843
01:31:51,459 --> 01:31:53,459
Could I have it?
844
01:31:56,793 --> 01:31:58,751
Are you sure?
845
01:31:58,751 --> 01:32:02,168
I thought it might be interesting.
846
01:32:05,126 --> 01:32:08,793
To see things from your perspective.
847
01:32:08,793 --> 01:32:12,793
Fuck it. Take it.
Do with it as you please.
848
01:32:15,501 --> 01:32:16,876
Thanks.
849
01:32:16,876 --> 01:32:20,959
There's probably
a lot of porn on there.
850
01:32:20,959 --> 01:32:24,084
I mean, we're talking shitloads.
851
01:32:24,084 --> 01:32:30,209
If you find any shemale stuff,
that was downloaded ironically.
852
01:32:38,876 --> 01:32:43,376
Leo eventually found
the woman of his dreams...
853
01:32:43,959 --> 01:32:47,626
A ten of spades
and billionaire heiress.
854
01:32:51,209 --> 01:32:53,668
Stop, you little shit!
855
01:32:56,126 --> 01:33:02,043
Unfortunately her mother
was also a solid nine of clubs.
856
01:33:07,626 --> 01:33:11,876
Leo insists he'll soon give up
the single lifestyle.
857
01:33:16,709 --> 01:33:22,418
Karl got into architecture school
and married Maja.
858
01:33:26,501 --> 01:33:32,834
Their love has blossomed
since she became number 123.
859
01:33:37,459 --> 01:33:41,626
They have two daughters.
860
01:33:43,418 --> 01:33:49,501
To Karl's great relief, he believes
he has spied lesbian tendencies.
861
01:33:58,626 --> 01:34:00,876
And Christian?
862
01:34:00,876 --> 01:34:02,959
Well...
863
01:34:05,918 --> 01:34:10,543
Our next guest wrote a book
about Oslo's pickup scene.
864
01:34:10,543 --> 01:34:13,876
It has already sold
over 100,000 copies.
865
01:34:13,876 --> 01:34:19,084
Please welcome social worker
and author Christian Lunde!
866
01:34:25,084 --> 01:34:27,501
Hi there!
867
01:34:27,501 --> 01:34:29,543
Hi, Christian.
Welcome!
868
01:34:33,334 --> 01:34:36,918
Hi.
It's great to have you here.
869
01:34:36,918 --> 01:34:39,168
- How are you?
- Great.
870
01:34:39,168 --> 01:34:43,168
You had some scores to settle
with yourself.
871
01:34:43,168 --> 01:34:47,668
I sure did.
It was the only right thing to do.
872
01:34:48,584 --> 01:34:52,334
I had scores to settle with myself.
873
01:34:52,334 --> 01:34:55,293
And with others
who had been affected.
874
01:34:55,751 --> 01:34:58,751
It has to do with attraction...
875
01:34:58,751 --> 01:35:00,334
Christian?
876
01:35:00,709 --> 01:35:02,376
Christian!
877
01:35:03,126 --> 01:35:05,376
I'll call you back.
878
01:35:05,376 --> 01:35:07,668
- Hi.
- Hi!
879
01:35:08,876 --> 01:35:11,709
- Long time, no see.
- Truly.
880
01:35:11,709 --> 01:35:14,751
- And now you're on TV.
- Yeah.
881
01:35:16,709 --> 01:35:19,168
- How are you?
- I'm great.
882
01:35:19,168 --> 01:35:23,418
Listen, I have an appointment.
It was great seeing you.
883
01:35:23,418 --> 01:35:26,793
Don't you have two minutes
to talk to me?
884
01:35:26,793 --> 01:35:30,084
Was there something in particular?
885
01:35:30,084 --> 01:35:32,084
Not really.
886
01:35:32,084 --> 01:35:34,918
That is, I just...
887
01:35:35,584 --> 01:35:39,501
I've been wondering
if you feel that I...
888
01:35:39,501 --> 01:35:44,043
Was I mean?
Did I take advantage of you somehow?
889
01:35:44,459 --> 01:35:46,501
Listen.
890
01:35:46,501 --> 01:35:50,376
You have nothing
to feel guilty about, OK?
891
01:35:50,376 --> 01:35:53,543
OK.
That was a huge relief.
892
01:35:53,543 --> 01:35:58,918
Except that you're the reason
I tried to commit suicide.
893
01:36:04,918 --> 01:36:09,501
You should have seen your face.
See you later!
894
01:36:11,751 --> 01:36:14,793
Hey, Christian.
Hang on!
895
01:36:16,126 --> 01:36:18,168
Where are you headed?
896
01:36:18,168 --> 01:36:22,126
Actually, what I'm doing
is going home -
897
01:36:22,126 --> 01:36:24,876
- for a nice, long wank.
66950
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