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1
00:00:00,934 --> 00:00:02,435
Hey, buddy.
2
00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:04,837
Can I get a triple shot
of Espresso over ice?
3
00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:06,973
Yeah, we don't do over ice.
4
00:00:06,975 --> 00:00:08,774
Huh?
5
00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:10,810
To preserve
the beans' integrity.
6
00:00:10,812 --> 00:00:13,112
The ice would
compromise the flavor.
7
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:14,614
Store policy, so...
8
00:00:14,616 --> 00:00:15,681
Oh, okay.
9
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:16,816
Uh, so,
why don't you just, uh,
10
00:00:16,818 --> 00:00:18,684
draw me a triple shot
of Espresso.
11
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,653
Very good. Anything else?
12
00:00:20,655 --> 00:00:21,988
Yeah, a cup of ice.
13
00:00:21,990 --> 00:00:23,456
I'm not doing that.
14
00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:24,657
I'm just looking
for the jolt, man.
15
00:00:24,659 --> 00:00:26,125
I'm just trying to get it
into my body
16
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:28,127
as quickly and efficiently
as possible
17
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:31,030
so life feels like
it's worth living for two hours.
18
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:33,833
Flavor is secondary
to the buzz.
19
00:00:33,835 --> 00:00:36,802
Don't you get it?
You're just a drug dealer.
20
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:39,739
No ice.
21
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:44,644
So, what happened next?
22
00:00:44,646 --> 00:00:46,045
W-what do you mean?
23
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:48,514
I-I-I drove home,
and I poured it over ice myself.
24
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,650
Oh, so, it all worked out
in the end.
25
00:00:50,652 --> 00:00:51,817
No. It didn't.
26
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,152
You know,
I still had to deal
27
00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:54,487
with that condescending idiot
and comply.
28
00:00:54,489 --> 00:00:55,721
Right. Right.
29
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,490
What?
"The integrity of the bean"?
30
00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:58,991
Are you kidding me?
31
00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:00,059
There was a time
where I would have
32
00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:01,661
went "five easy pieces"
on that guy.
33
00:01:01,663 --> 00:01:03,829
I would have just unleashed
a tidal wave of rage.
34
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,665
Right, well, you changed,
35
00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:07,833
and, you know,
good for you, man.
36
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,869
Is it good, though, Ken?
I mean, think about it.
37
00:01:09,871 --> 00:01:12,738
How good would it have felt
to just unload on that guy?
38
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,073
Got it. Right.
39
00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:16,008
But I'm sober,
and if you act like an asshole
40
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,877
when you're sober,
you're just an asshole.
41
00:01:17,879 --> 00:01:20,012
I mean, that's my own issue.
Ah.
42
00:01:20,014 --> 00:01:21,847
I don't know why I get off
on being out of control,
43
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:23,849
but I was always like that
when I was a kid.
44
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,718
My... my heroes were
always drug addicts...
45
00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:27,019
You know, Lenny Bruce,
46
00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:28,921
William burroughs,
Keith Richards.
47
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:31,524
Shannon hoon... blind melon.
48
00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:32,525
Shannon hoon from...
49
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:34,060
I'm sorry. No, I...
50
00:01:34,062 --> 00:01:36,028
Oh, well, I'm just
trying to keep up.
51
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,197
Well, look, what I'm trying
to say is that I don't...
52
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,533
I don't miss booze and drugs. I
miss the chaos. Right. Right.
53
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:41,867
I miss the war stories.
54
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,603
I miss partying all night,
55
00:01:43,605 --> 00:01:44,737
you know,
just pushing the envelope.
56
00:01:44,739 --> 00:01:46,205
Right, right.
57
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:48,107
I miss, you know,
playing chicken with my sanity,
58
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:50,543
and then the sun comes up,
dawn breaks,
59
00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:51,711
and you feel victorious
60
00:01:51,713 --> 00:01:53,579
just 'cause
you lived through it.
61
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:54,947
I mean, you can't feel
that kind of high
62
00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:56,549
unless you're completely
out of control.
63
00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:57,883
I mean, you know
what I'm talking about?
64
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,885
I mean, you know what
I'm talking about, right?
65
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,890
Sure. Yeah.
66
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,896
Won't fall for it
67
00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:14,233
you can't see
68
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,636
and you can't tell
69
00:02:16,638 --> 00:02:22,141
I just can't drink
from a poisoned well
70
00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:30,082
hey, dude.
71
00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:32,918
I, uh... I dug what you had
to say in there, man.
72
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,087
Just hearing your story
really made me feel better.
73
00:02:35,089 --> 00:02:38,257
You know, s-sounds like we did
some whack shit back in the day.
74
00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:40,092
Yeah, crazy times.
75
00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:41,594
Can't say I don't miss 'em.
76
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,663
And now,
10 years sober, man,
77
00:02:43,665 --> 00:02:46,132
you might as well be standing
on mount Everest, to me.
78
00:02:46,134 --> 00:02:47,933
Well, like I said inside,
it took me 15 years
79
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:50,136
to get the 10 under my belt
I have now.
80
00:02:50,138 --> 00:02:51,604
Are you new?
81
00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:53,939
Just did two years
in the can, man.
82
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:56,308
That's nothing compared
to the 12 days I got sober.
83
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,110
Yeah, I'm sure
you feel insane.
84
00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,945
That's because you're
actually having feelings.
85
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,280
Those cookies work?
86
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:02,782
Not really.
87
00:03:02,784 --> 00:03:03,849
I ate 20 of them.
88
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,317
Cookies are fine, man.
89
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:07,119
The important thing is
you're not drinking today.
90
00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:08,954
Yeah, hey, you know what?
91
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,189
I'm supposed to
find a sponsor, man.
92
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:12,124
Are you up to it?
Absolutely.
93
00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:13,626
Good. I've been
praying on it.
94
00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:14,960
But I think I'm gonna
need somebody
95
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,629
a little more hands-on
than Jesus.
96
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:18,831
I've never
collaborated with Jesus,
97
00:03:18,833 --> 00:03:21,200
but I-I think
I can help you out.
98
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:24,203
Your first mistake was drinking
that shit coffee in there.
99
00:03:25,807 --> 00:03:27,973
You know what I missed most
in the joint?
100
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,041
Bourbon.
101
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:30,810
Damn, I love that shit.
102
00:03:30,812 --> 00:03:32,978
Ah, pounding bourbon
was my thing, man.
103
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,648
One night, this other comic
and I drank a fifth,
104
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,650
we crashed this party
up in the hills,
105
00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:39,051
and I, uh...
106
00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:41,654
I-I just kind of got sick.
107
00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:42,988
Wow.
108
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,224
I thought there was more
of a story there.
109
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,827
You know what?
The doctor pronounced me dead.
110
00:03:47,829 --> 00:03:49,028
Half-hour later,
111
00:03:49,030 --> 00:03:51,864
I was pounding down shots
to my health.
112
00:03:51,866 --> 00:03:53,199
I almost died.
113
00:03:53,201 --> 00:03:56,168
I was coked up,
out of my mind, in bed.
114
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:58,871
My heart was pounding,
felt like it was gonna explode.
115
00:03:58,873 --> 00:04:00,339
Didn't know what to do.
116
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,341
Masturbated four times.
117
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,744
Saved my life, man.
118
00:04:04,746 --> 00:04:06,011
You know what I really miss?
119
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,681
Boy, it's that first fix
of dope.
120
00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:10,249
Damn, I can almost taste it.
121
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:12,017
Yeah?
122
00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:13,385
I never actually got around
to the whole needle thing.
123
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:15,688
You know what?
We got to get you fixed.
124
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:16,856
Yeah!
125
00:04:16,858 --> 00:04:18,357
I mean no! No way, man!
126
00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:20,893
That's behind me... And you.
127
00:04:20,895 --> 00:04:22,361
Jesus.
128
00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:24,764
That's why I need you,
maron.
129
00:04:24,766 --> 00:04:27,032
I'm a bad man.
I've done some bad shit.
130
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,400
Hey, don't worry
about it, man.
131
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:30,402
You're gonna get
your side of the street clean
132
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:32,872
on this stuff, make amends.
Next.
133
00:04:32,874 --> 00:04:34,206
Hello?
134
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:37,042
I said, "next." Oh, hey.
135
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,879
Look, I know you have
your little rules here,
136
00:04:39,881 --> 00:04:44,750
but can't I get a triple shot
of Espresso over ice?
137
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:47,286
Uh... A-absolutely.
138
00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:48,420
N-no problem, sir.
139
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,055
Ah, good.
140
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:52,491
And we're in a rush,
so, uh, let's do this.
141
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,230
Hey, thanks again
for the lift, man.
142
00:04:58,232 --> 00:04:59,732
Sure.
143
00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:01,801
What do you want...
Jelly or coconut?
144
00:05:01,803 --> 00:05:03,235
No, no. I'm good, man.
145
00:05:03,237 --> 00:05:05,404
Hey, what's halfway-house
living like, anyway?
146
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,072
I mean, is it all ex-cons?
147
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,240
'Cause I think
that would make
148
00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:09,909
for some interesting
dinner conversation,
149
00:05:09,911 --> 00:05:11,076
and who does the cooking?
150
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,411
I mean, does everybody
chip in or...
151
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:16,148
Hey. It's not a commune.
It's a shit hole.
152
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,750
Eh...
153
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,666
But I guess after
the life I've lived, man...
154
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:21,821
it's all I deserve, man.
155
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:26,759
Anyway, who am I kidding?
156
00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:28,961
I, uh...
157
00:05:28,963 --> 00:05:30,963
I think maybe
this is a mistake, man.
158
00:05:30,965 --> 00:05:32,765
You know,
maybe I'm too far gone.
159
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:35,267
No, no, no, no. Wait.
Let's cut the pity party.
160
00:05:35,269 --> 00:05:37,269
That attitude
won't get you another week.
161
00:05:37,271 --> 00:05:38,804
You got to start today.
162
00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:42,107
And don't worry, buddy,
I got your back on this.
163
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:44,777
You know what you are?
I mean, you're like
164
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:47,479
that little fairy angel
on my shoulder.
165
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,448
Well, I don't know if I would
have chose those words,
166
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,784
but, uh, yeah, sure.
O-okay, man.
167
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:54,286
All right, I'll see you
at the next thing, man.
168
00:05:54,288 --> 00:05:57,122
I got to get started
ahora mismo.
169
00:05:57,124 --> 00:06:01,193
You know what I mean?
We got some big wrongs to right.
170
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,962
"Ahora mismo" means "let's go!"
Let's go!
171
00:06:02,964 --> 00:06:04,791
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
172
00:06:15,176 --> 00:06:17,244
Hey, give me a hand with it.
173
00:06:22,150 --> 00:06:26,153
So, uh, good chat
with your buddy?
174
00:06:26,155 --> 00:06:28,021
What is all that, anyway?
175
00:06:28,023 --> 00:06:30,791
You never seen a gym bag
and a burro pi?ata before?
176
00:06:30,793 --> 00:06:32,292
Less chitchat,
more drive-drive.
177
00:06:32,294 --> 00:06:34,027
We're on a schedule, angel.
178
00:06:34,029 --> 00:06:36,830
Got to say...
Don't love that nickname.
179
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:49,142
Just a little business
I got to put to sleep.
180
00:06:49,144 --> 00:06:51,311
Got you here to keep me
on the straight path.
181
00:06:51,313 --> 00:06:52,345
No problema.
182
00:06:52,347 --> 00:06:54,214
Yeah, don't do that, man.
183
00:06:54,216 --> 00:06:56,216
Uh, in fact,
don't talk much.
184
00:06:56,218 --> 00:06:59,352
Sure. I can play like that.
185
00:07:02,191 --> 00:07:05,659
And don't be afraid,
'cause these guys feed on fear.
186
00:07:05,661 --> 00:07:06,927
What?!
187
00:07:31,085 --> 00:07:34,855
Well, look who finally decided
to roll through.
188
00:07:34,857 --> 00:07:37,357
My feelings
were getting hurt, dawg.
189
00:07:37,359 --> 00:07:40,193
Who's the Jew-faced lawyer?
190
00:07:40,195 --> 00:07:43,063
My mother wishes.
I actually am a comedian.
191
00:07:43,065 --> 00:07:45,198
I do a podcast
out of my house,
192
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,399
and I just...
I'm here with him to...
193
00:07:46,401 --> 00:07:48,201
Better tell your boy
to shut up
194
00:07:48,203 --> 00:07:49,369
before I send him
back to brentwood
195
00:07:49,371 --> 00:07:51,204
without his kneecaps.
196
00:07:51,206 --> 00:07:53,707
Actually, I just live up here.
I'm right up on, uh...
197
00:07:53,709 --> 00:07:55,776
You know what?
The address doesn't matter.
198
00:07:55,778 --> 00:07:57,477
I said, "shut up."
199
00:08:01,049 --> 00:08:03,116
I want out, Holmes.
200
00:08:10,224 --> 00:08:12,259
You hear that, dawg?
201
00:08:12,261 --> 00:08:14,728
Manny's got jokes.
202
00:08:14,730 --> 00:08:18,398
Both you and me know
there is no out.
203
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,934
You chose the life, homeboy.
204
00:08:34,917 --> 00:08:37,117
Thanks, bro.
205
00:08:40,422 --> 00:08:44,157
Now, what you got for me?
206
00:09:03,778 --> 00:09:06,780
Okay.
207
00:09:06,782 --> 00:09:08,782
Let's celebrate.
208
00:09:08,784 --> 00:09:10,851
Luis, go grab the scorpion.
209
00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:33,306
See this bottle right here?
210
00:09:33,308 --> 00:09:36,509
This is from one of the oldest
mescal families in Mexico.
211
00:09:36,511 --> 00:09:40,380
I'm not drinking anymore.
212
00:09:42,316 --> 00:09:45,819
You ain't what?
213
00:09:45,821 --> 00:09:49,489
So, that's
what this is about?
214
00:09:49,491 --> 00:09:51,324
You're what?
You're going civilian now?
215
00:09:51,326 --> 00:09:52,993
What you gonna do?
216
00:09:52,995 --> 00:09:56,029
Laser off those
skull and titty tattoos?
217
00:09:56,031 --> 00:09:58,164
Start a landscaping company?
218
00:09:58,166 --> 00:10:01,167
Wear some Jean cutoff shorts
219
00:10:01,169 --> 00:10:03,003
while you trim
your hippie lawyer's hedges?
220
00:10:03,005 --> 00:10:05,171
That's what you're gonna do?
221
00:10:05,173 --> 00:10:07,574
Well, let me tell you
something, homeboy.
222
00:10:10,511 --> 00:10:14,080
I can't trust a man
that won't drink with me.
223
00:10:18,352 --> 00:10:21,554
Quit looking
at your furry Jew!
224
00:10:21,556 --> 00:10:24,190
All right.
T-this is ridiculous, okay?
225
00:10:24,192 --> 00:10:25,892
R-really, I mean, I get it.
226
00:10:25,894 --> 00:10:27,427
You guys are badasses.
I'm terrified.
227
00:10:27,429 --> 00:10:30,096
I don't know what's gonna
happen here, but this is stupid.
228
00:10:30,098 --> 00:10:32,098
I mean, are we really
even debating
229
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:34,034
that addiction is a disease?
230
00:10:34,036 --> 00:10:35,902
Would you force-feed candy
231
00:10:35,904 --> 00:10:37,437
to a little diabetic
baby's face?
232
00:10:37,439 --> 00:10:41,441
Would you drag your wife
with skin cancer to the beach?
233
00:10:41,443 --> 00:10:44,444
Would you give
a known killer a gun?
234
00:10:46,881 --> 00:10:49,382
Okay, that...
That's a bad example.
235
00:10:49,384 --> 00:10:54,087
Would you give something bad
to a bad person
236
00:10:54,089 --> 00:10:56,923
that would make them worse?
237
00:10:56,925 --> 00:11:00,093
And you don't trust a man
that won't drink with you?
238
00:11:00,095 --> 00:11:01,895
That doesn't
even make sense, man.
239
00:11:01,897 --> 00:11:04,197
What is this? The wild west?
240
00:11:20,281 --> 00:11:24,985
Got an uncle
who's got seven years sober.
241
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:29,422
I get it.
242
00:11:29,424 --> 00:11:31,624
So, are we cool?
243
00:11:31,626 --> 00:11:33,593
Yeah, we're cool.
244
00:11:33,595 --> 00:11:35,462
Great.
245
00:11:35,464 --> 00:11:37,464
Just fyi.
246
00:11:37,466 --> 00:11:39,933
You shouldn't be
so condescending.
247
00:11:39,935 --> 00:11:42,102
You gentrified assholes
come up in my neighborhood
248
00:11:42,104 --> 00:11:43,603
thinking you know better?
249
00:11:43,605 --> 00:11:45,105
It's insulting.
250
00:11:45,107 --> 00:11:47,340
Don't slap the gentrification
thing on me.
251
00:11:47,342 --> 00:11:49,275
I was here after
the gays fixed things up,
252
00:11:49,277 --> 00:11:51,444
but years before the hipsters
came in, all right?
253
00:11:51,446 --> 00:11:53,446
I buy my cat food
at a bodega, okay?
254
00:11:53,448 --> 00:11:54,614
I'm just not that guy.
255
00:11:54,616 --> 00:11:56,449
I go to cinco de Mayo
parties, bro.
256
00:11:56,451 --> 00:11:57,617
Yeah, that's who I am.
257
00:11:57,619 --> 00:12:00,286
All right. We're going.
We're going.
258
00:12:00,288 --> 00:12:02,188
Oh, man! That was insane!
259
00:12:02,190 --> 00:12:04,324
Hey, you really did good, man.
Whew.
260
00:12:04,326 --> 00:12:06,359
If anybody deserves
a jelly doughnut, you do.
261
00:12:07,963 --> 00:12:09,362
No, no, no. That's all you.
I'm good, man.
262
00:12:09,364 --> 00:12:11,131
Hey.
263
00:12:11,133 --> 00:12:14,034
I've watched you eyeing this bag
ever since you got in the car.
264
00:12:14,036 --> 00:12:16,136
Yeah, yeah.
Don't worry about it.
265
00:12:16,138 --> 00:12:17,337
You wouldn't get it.
266
00:12:17,339 --> 00:12:19,472
Oh, man,
now you're condescending me.
267
00:12:19,474 --> 00:12:21,141
You mean "to me."
268
00:12:21,143 --> 00:12:22,976
Ah, forget it, man.
269
00:12:22,978 --> 00:12:25,345
I-I-I got issues,
and they're embarrassing...
270
00:12:25,347 --> 00:12:27,313
Food issues.
271
00:12:27,315 --> 00:12:29,149
Jesus Christ,
you sound like a woman.
272
00:12:29,151 --> 00:12:30,483
No, I don't.
273
00:12:30,485 --> 00:12:32,152
Why? Do I look fat?
274
00:12:32,154 --> 00:12:33,486
In prison, you'd be, like,
275
00:12:33,488 --> 00:12:34,988
a little bitch
Christmas present.
276
00:12:36,058 --> 00:12:37,390
Yeah,
I kind of figured that.
277
00:12:37,392 --> 00:12:38,992
Even on a good night,
278
00:12:38,994 --> 00:12:41,161
I wasn't that much of a top
with my ex-wife.
279
00:12:41,163 --> 00:12:43,563
Wow.
M-m-my brain hurts, man.
280
00:12:43,565 --> 00:12:45,165
How'd we get here?
281
00:12:45,167 --> 00:12:46,332
Well, I-I don't know.
282
00:12:46,334 --> 00:12:48,168
I guess it goes back
to my parents.
283
00:12:48,170 --> 00:12:50,003
Beat you, huh? Me too.
284
00:12:50,005 --> 00:12:51,404
No, not exactly.
285
00:12:51,406 --> 00:12:53,406
Oh, man.
They had sex with you?
286
00:12:53,408 --> 00:12:55,175
No, man. No.
287
00:12:55,177 --> 00:12:58,078
Well, shit, Holmes.
I'm all out of ideas.
288
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,013
Look, my mother
had food issues,
289
00:13:00,015 --> 00:13:01,414
so when I was a kid,
290
00:13:01,416 --> 00:13:04,084
I think she just saw me
as an extension of her fat.
291
00:13:04,086 --> 00:13:07,220
So, basically, it's all
about conditional love.
292
00:13:07,222 --> 00:13:09,689
You mix that with an insanely
addictive personality,
293
00:13:09,691 --> 00:13:11,224
and then you end up
with a guy
294
00:13:11,226 --> 00:13:14,327
that's not a ton of fun
at a dinner party.
295
00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:17,730
Uh, you were right, Holmes.
296
00:13:17,732 --> 00:13:19,099
I don't get it.
297
00:13:19,101 --> 00:13:20,700
I told you. Hey.
298
00:13:20,702 --> 00:13:23,703
But to admit to whatever
the hell you admitted to...
299
00:13:23,705 --> 00:13:25,038
Wow.
300
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,307
You got some
pretty big cojones, angel.
301
00:13:34,715 --> 00:13:37,417
Okay, so, break it down.
What's the scenario here?
302
00:13:37,419 --> 00:13:39,219
Are we going in cowboy style
or what are we gonna...
303
00:13:39,221 --> 00:13:41,054
You're gonna stay
in the car.
304
00:13:41,056 --> 00:13:43,389
Yeah, okay. I can do that.
305
00:13:43,391 --> 00:13:46,092
I got some amends to make...
An old friend.
306
00:13:46,094 --> 00:13:48,795
I'll be out in a few.
307
00:14:09,250 --> 00:14:12,318
You got an iPhone?
308
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,453
Yeah.
309
00:14:13,455 --> 00:14:14,587
Can I see it?
310
00:14:14,589 --> 00:14:16,089
No, you can't see it.
311
00:14:16,091 --> 00:14:19,425
I got to call my mother,
tell her where I am.
312
00:14:19,427 --> 00:14:20,660
Do I look stupid to you?
313
00:14:20,662 --> 00:14:22,762
A little.
314
00:14:22,764 --> 00:14:27,433
How about me and my buddy gordo
take your car for a spin.
315
00:14:27,435 --> 00:14:28,768
I got to pick up my girl.
316
00:14:31,806 --> 00:14:35,141
No. No, you can't
take my car for a spin.
317
00:14:35,143 --> 00:14:37,177
I got to go.
318
00:14:41,449 --> 00:14:43,116
And please...
319
00:14:44,119 --> 00:14:45,451
don't mess up my car.
320
00:14:45,453 --> 00:14:47,153
Where you going, professor?
321
00:14:49,623 --> 00:14:51,357
Hello? Hola?
322
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:58,631
Whoa!
323
00:14:58,633 --> 00:15:01,634
Sorry, fellas. My bad.
324
00:15:01,636 --> 00:15:03,636
Wait, wait. Time out.
325
00:15:03,638 --> 00:15:06,139
This isn't sober behavior.
What are you doing?
326
00:15:06,141 --> 00:15:08,508
I'm making amends.
327
00:15:08,510 --> 00:15:09,809
This is the reason
I went to the joint.
328
00:15:09,811 --> 00:15:12,145
He's a rat!
Think it through, Manny.
329
00:15:12,147 --> 00:15:14,180
It's all I thought about
for two years.
330
00:15:14,182 --> 00:15:16,149
All right, good point,
331
00:15:16,151 --> 00:15:18,184
but I-it looks like
this guy's pretty banged up.
332
00:15:18,186 --> 00:15:19,485
I think he's learned
his lesson.
333
00:15:19,487 --> 00:15:20,720
You're sorry,
aren't you, guy?
334
00:15:20,722 --> 00:15:22,188
You sorry?
335
00:15:23,358 --> 00:15:25,658
Hey! Son of a bitch!
What the hell?
336
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:28,861
I was trying to help!
Ayudar! Ayudar tu!
337
00:15:28,863 --> 00:15:32,198
I speak English, asshole.
338
00:15:33,668 --> 00:15:35,835
There's got to be some other way
to get closure, man.
339
00:15:35,837 --> 00:15:37,403
Do you want me
to talk about it?
340
00:15:37,405 --> 00:15:39,672
Do you want me
to share my feelings, huh?
341
00:15:39,674 --> 00:15:41,541
Do you want me to tell you
I feel like killing him?
342
00:15:41,543 --> 00:15:43,509
I was thinking
more along the lines
343
00:15:43,511 --> 00:15:45,178
of banging his girlfriend.
344
00:15:45,180 --> 00:15:47,513
Why do you care about
this cockroach, anyway?
345
00:15:47,515 --> 00:15:49,349
I don't care about him.
I care about you.
346
00:15:49,351 --> 00:15:51,718
And this is no way
to start your life over.
347
00:15:56,358 --> 00:15:58,491
I really wish you would have
stayed in the car.
348
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:03,863
Okay.
349
00:16:03,865 --> 00:16:06,666
But I still want to
kick his ass a little bit.
350
00:16:17,212 --> 00:16:19,712
Your girlfriend
preset these stations?
351
00:16:19,714 --> 00:16:22,248
That's all you have to say?
What were you thinking, man?
352
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:23,750
I mean,
I could have been charged
353
00:16:23,752 --> 00:16:25,551
with accessory to murder.
354
00:16:25,553 --> 00:16:28,721
You think anybody on this street
is gonna call the police?
355
00:16:28,723 --> 00:16:30,890
That's white-man shit, Holmes.
356
00:16:30,892 --> 00:16:33,226
You got to chill out.
357
00:16:33,228 --> 00:16:33,728
Hey.
358
00:16:37,232 --> 00:16:38,931
Here's a little something
for you.
359
00:16:38,933 --> 00:16:41,467
What? I don't want
your blood money.
360
00:16:41,469 --> 00:16:43,403
Whatever.
361
00:16:43,405 --> 00:16:45,738
I stopped you from killing
a guy, you chip in for gas...
362
00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:47,240
Fair trade.
363
00:16:47,242 --> 00:16:49,409
Hey, I never said
I wasn't gonna kill him.
364
00:16:49,411 --> 00:16:51,277
Just not today.
365
00:16:51,279 --> 00:16:53,746
You know, like you say,
you know, "one day at a time."
366
00:16:55,784 --> 00:16:57,917
You know, for a comedian,
367
00:16:57,919 --> 00:16:59,585
you sure ain't got
much a sense of humor.
368
00:16:59,587 --> 00:17:01,954
Tell me a joke.
369
00:17:01,956 --> 00:17:04,757
I don't... I don't
really do joke-jokes.
370
00:17:04,759 --> 00:17:06,459
Well, then,
what the hell are you, then?
371
00:17:06,461 --> 00:17:08,961
It's more observational humor,
you know, about my life.
372
00:17:08,963 --> 00:17:11,264
I try to make a connection
with the audience.
373
00:17:11,266 --> 00:17:13,466
You sound hilarious, Holmes.
374
00:17:13,468 --> 00:17:14,801
Oh, hey, wait!
Pull over! Pull over!
375
00:17:14,803 --> 00:17:16,269
Cops? Where? What?
376
00:17:16,271 --> 00:17:17,937
No, no, no, no.
Just pull over.
377
00:17:17,939 --> 00:17:19,639
Mmm!
378
00:17:19,641 --> 00:17:21,441
Man, I got
a ice-cream headache,
379
00:17:21,443 --> 00:17:23,776
but this thing is so good,
I can't stop eating it.
380
00:17:23,778 --> 00:17:25,511
Oh, you're being
such an asshole.
381
00:17:25,513 --> 00:17:26,779
Mmm!
382
00:17:26,781 --> 00:17:28,448
After the day you've had,
man,
383
00:17:28,450 --> 00:17:31,351
you deserve, like,
a little treat, man.
384
00:17:33,855 --> 00:17:35,521
Trust me on this, angel.
385
00:17:38,826 --> 00:17:40,893
Oh!
386
00:17:43,465 --> 00:17:45,431
I don't want your cooties.
387
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:51,637
Wow! You were right, man.
God, that was good.
388
00:17:51,639 --> 00:17:53,473
And the best part is
I didn't overdo it.
389
00:17:53,475 --> 00:17:55,308
That's good to hear.
390
00:17:55,310 --> 00:17:57,710
Yeah, I mean, besides caffeine,
sugar, and jerking off,
391
00:17:57,712 --> 00:18:00,646
we addicts don't have anything
we can do for pleasure anymore.
392
00:18:00,648 --> 00:18:02,982
I probably shouldn't lean
so heavy on the other two.
393
00:18:02,984 --> 00:18:04,684
Uh-huh.
394
00:18:04,686 --> 00:18:06,552
I should probably
get you back.
395
00:18:06,554 --> 00:18:08,654
If I'm not at the gym by 7:00,
all the ellipticals are gone.
396
00:18:08,656 --> 00:18:11,357
All right, man.
I got one more stop to make.
397
00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:15,561
I need you
to make a delivery for me.
398
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,341
Hey, what gives?
399
00:18:26,343 --> 00:18:27,675
If this pi?ata's
so important,
400
00:18:27,677 --> 00:18:29,677
why don't you deliver it
yourself?
401
00:18:29,679 --> 00:18:32,013
You know what?
Kill your lights.
402
00:18:33,850 --> 00:18:35,517
Hey.
403
00:18:35,519 --> 00:18:37,385
When I told you I'd help you
restart your life,
404
00:18:37,387 --> 00:18:39,687
I thought it'd be fielding
a few late-night phone calls,
405
00:18:39,689 --> 00:18:41,689
help you take an inventory,
406
00:18:41,691 --> 00:18:44,392
maybe be your sober buddy
at Cinco de Mayo.
407
00:18:44,394 --> 00:18:47,695
But in one day, I've been
in a literal Mexican standoff,
408
00:18:47,697 --> 00:18:49,931
harassed by 10-year-olds,
made an accomplice,
409
00:18:49,933 --> 00:18:52,066
and I even ate
chocolate-chip ice cream!
410
00:18:52,068 --> 00:18:53,601
Shit!
411
00:18:53,603 --> 00:18:55,403
And now you want me
to deliver a donkey
412
00:18:55,405 --> 00:18:57,405
because you promised
it's cool?
413
00:18:57,407 --> 00:18:59,874
I'm starting to think
your promises don't mean shit.
414
00:18:59,876 --> 00:19:01,876
I'm starting to think
maybe you were right.
415
00:19:01,878 --> 00:19:05,447
Maybe it is too late for you
to straighten out your life.
416
00:19:08,551 --> 00:19:11,953
This house?
417
00:19:33,742 --> 00:19:34,976
Hello.
418
00:19:34,978 --> 00:19:37,812
Hi. I think this is for you.
419
00:19:39,415 --> 00:19:42,417
Are you grandpa's
parole officer?
420
00:19:42,419 --> 00:19:45,553
No, I-I'm grandpa's buddy.
421
00:19:48,591 --> 00:19:50,558
No, hang on. Wait.
422
00:19:52,595 --> 00:19:55,163
No. No. Come on.
423
00:20:06,775 --> 00:20:11,779
In those moments where
I romanticize the crazy life...
424
00:20:11,781 --> 00:20:14,015
The drinking, the drugs,
the partying...
425
00:20:14,017 --> 00:20:16,451
It's through
a different lens now.
426
00:20:16,453 --> 00:20:19,120
I've done it. I don't think
I could ever do it again.
427
00:20:19,122 --> 00:20:23,825
I don't think I'd survive it,
because, frankly, I'm too old,
428
00:20:23,827 --> 00:20:25,960
but that doesn't even address
the core of the issue.
429
00:20:25,962 --> 00:20:27,495
Look, I get it.
430
00:20:27,497 --> 00:20:28,796
If you're into that shit
and you can't stop,
431
00:20:28,798 --> 00:20:30,465
you're out of control.
432
00:20:30,467 --> 00:20:33,801
But what I can tell you
is if you do stop it...
433
00:20:33,803 --> 00:20:38,473
You'll realize that it's a waste
of energy... life energy,
434
00:20:38,475 --> 00:20:40,808
and you'll realize
that you want nothing more
435
00:20:40,810 --> 00:20:45,246
than to stay alive
for as long as possible.
436
00:20:48,817 --> 00:20:51,819
Sorry about before.
437
00:20:51,821 --> 00:20:53,988
After a lifetime
of screwing things up,
438
00:20:53,990 --> 00:20:57,058
you can't fix everything
in a day.
439
00:20:57,060 --> 00:20:58,693
Yeah.
440
00:20:58,695 --> 00:21:01,696
That last stop was the only one
that really mattered.
441
00:21:01,698 --> 00:21:04,832
Hey, man. Here's my number.
442
00:21:04,834 --> 00:21:08,703
If you ever feel like drinking
or talking or killing a guy,
443
00:21:08,705 --> 00:21:10,004
give me a call.
444
00:21:22,853 --> 00:21:25,021
Hey. How about a triple shot
of Espresso over ice?
445
00:21:25,023 --> 00:21:26,856
Gotcha.
446
00:21:26,858 --> 00:21:29,693
Good man.
That hat's growing on me.
447
00:21:29,695 --> 00:21:32,762
Hey, throw in
a jelly doughnut, as well.
448
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:10,000
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www.addic7ed.com
449
00:22:10,050 --> 00:22:14,600
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