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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,270 One of your dogs was being a degen the other day... 2 00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,170 What's up, what's up... 3 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,640 Don't let the dog lick your boot. 4 00:00:17,670 --> 00:00:19,810 Off you go. Way y'go. Way y'go. Way y'go. 5 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:26,180 -What's the problem? -Your boots are covered in piss. 6 00:00:26,210 --> 00:00:28,580 Are you accusing me of washing my boots in the toilet again? 7 00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:30,350 All dudes' shoes are covered in piss. 8 00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:31,890 From standin' in front of the toilet or a urinal. 9 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:36,160 Your stream hits the water or the porcelain and it goes fuckin' everywhere. 10 00:00:36,190 --> 00:00:37,690 -Prove it. -No, he's right. 11 00:00:37,730 --> 00:00:40,430 Have you ever taken a look at the area half a foot in fronts of a urinal? 12 00:00:40,460 --> 00:00:42,160 It's like a miniature swamps. 13 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,800 Ants could ride sea-doos through it. 14 00:00:43,830 --> 00:00:45,130 Ants can't ride no sea-doos. 15 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,030 Of course ants can't ride no sea-doos! 16 00:00:47,070 --> 00:00:48,870 Just don't let the dog lick your boots. 17 00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:53,040 I mean not to be an expert on the subject, 'cause of course, everybody's a fuckin' expert. 18 00:00:53,070 --> 00:00:55,180 Everybody's a fuckin' expert. Must be nice. 19 00:00:55,210 --> 00:00:57,440 You know, when I was coming up we'd be lucky to even have a dog. 20 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,180 Now everyone's a fuckin' expert. Must be nice. 21 00:00:59,210 --> 00:01:03,280 You guys notice that whenever there's a problem everybody turns into a dog expert? 22 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,090 We oughtta leave this world behind. 23 00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:10,160 Maybe they could. 24 00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:13,960 -Maybe who could? -Ants. 25 00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:15,860 -Could what? -Ride sea-doos. 26 00:01:18,670 --> 00:01:19,800 Good buddy? 27 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,240 See, there's a lot of variables at play here, obviously. 28 00:01:22,270 --> 00:01:25,540 But if you ask me if I've heard crazier things than ants riding sea-doos... 29 00:01:26,510 --> 00:01:27,110 I'd say sure. 30 00:01:27,140 --> 00:01:28,040 You'd need a scientist. 31 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,540 You'd need a team of scientists, I think. 32 00:01:29,580 --> 00:01:33,250 Well, ants are smart enough to walk single file and protect their queen. 33 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,820 So, you know, they're just a stone's throw away from humans intelligence-wise. 34 00:01:35,850 --> 00:01:37,920 They're a hop, skip and a jump, if you really think about it. 35 00:01:37,950 --> 00:01:39,750 You get a scientist to make a sea-doo for an ant? 36 00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:43,260 Well, I think a team of scientists, a good one, for sure could. 37 00:01:43,290 --> 00:01:46,060 A scientist making sea-doos for ants would be a tireless job. 38 00:01:46,090 --> 00:01:47,290 Thankless, likely, too. 39 00:01:47,330 --> 00:01:50,000 Well, you operates the gas with your thumb on the sea-doo so, 40 00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:52,770 ants don't got thumbs. That right there is your first obstacles. 41 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:56,240 No, you'd have to get scientists to make the gas a push button 42 00:01:56,270 --> 00:01:57,670 so the ant could just put his foot on it. 43 00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,210 It's like if a team of scientists was building a sea-doo for an ant, 44 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:04,110 they could likely just as easily build the ant a bionic thumb to operate the gas with. 45 00:02:04,140 --> 00:02:05,410 So, there's options there. 46 00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:09,050 Yeah. Ant would need a license to operate a personal watercraft. 47 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:12,220 That's not a big deal. You can get that over the weekend. 48 00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:13,420 But the scientists would have to build them a PFD 49 00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:14,860 because they wouldn't let them take the course without it. 50 00:02:14,890 --> 00:02:18,060 Ants would have no problem stabilizing themselves out on the sea-doo 51 00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:20,190 on accounts that they got more arms and legs than we do. 52 00:02:20,230 --> 00:02:22,630 They've got a leg up on us there, if you wants to be clever about it. 53 00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:25,200 If I'm an ant I'm operating the sea-doo with my antennas. 54 00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:28,570 That way I've got all those arms and legs to stabilize myself on the machine, 55 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,410 which you'd need like, if it's a wavy day on the water. 56 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,610 It'd still take a lot of concentration from an ant. 57 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:36,580 Like Dan's gonna fall off two or three times when he gets going. 58 00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:38,010 So it's just trial and error. 59 00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:39,580 I don't know. 60 00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:41,680 You don't know what? 61 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,320 Well, think about Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. 62 00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:48,290 Think about how helpful and resilient the ant was the entire journey. 63 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,290 Well, know what, I'm just gonna come right out and say it, 64 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,090 the kids might never have got un-shrunk if it weren't for the ant. 65 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,330 That's all well and good, but I'm actually quite surprised you guys would suggest that the 66 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:59,600 ants would just up and abandon his post protecting the queen to go ride on sea-doos. 67 00:02:59,630 --> 00:03:01,270 Well, you don't know that ant, Dan. 68 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:02,200 You know nothing about the ant, Dan. 69 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,400 That's rather presumptuous of youse. 70 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,440 You're an ant comin' up in a tough neighbourhood. 71 00:03:06,470 --> 00:03:08,010 Never caught a break in your life. 72 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,980 All of a sudden there's a team of scientists outside your door with a sea-doo. 73 00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:14,310 Dan, look me in the eye right now and tell me you don't ride it. 74 00:03:14,350 --> 00:03:15,980 The ant's buddies would be thrilled to help him out. 75 00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:17,990 They'd happily cover his shift protecting the queen. 76 00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:20,590 An opportunity like that? They'd be linin' up around the anthill. 77 00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:23,120 How many more opportunities like that you think the ant's going to get? 78 00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:25,390 Not many. 79 00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:26,460 That's the first ant in the colony to ride a sea-doo. That's his legacy. 80 00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:29,360 They'd be talking about that ant inter-colonial. 81 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,000 Fire ants wouldn't fuck with him. 82 00:03:31,030 --> 00:03:32,170 He rides sea-doos. 83 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,270 -What's the alternative? -Yeah, what's the alternative? 84 00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:35,740 Work on an ant farm? 85 00:03:35,770 --> 00:03:38,310 That ant's got a life on the outside, he's got to live it God dammit. 86 00:03:38,340 --> 00:03:39,310 His hours might have got cut. 87 00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:41,440 He might have mouths to feed. You don't know. 88 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,710 His wife's thinking about leaving, taking the kids too. 89 00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:45,350 I was out of line. 90 00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:47,350 Well, good people make mistakes, Dan. 91 00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:49,080 Yeah, it's all right. Just... just like, 92 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:52,520 I don't know, like, down the road, I think, if you hear somebody talkin' about somebody 93 00:03:52,550 --> 00:03:54,790 that they don't really know, you'll swiftly correct them. 94 00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:57,960 I think it's important that they just learn something here. 95 00:03:57,990 --> 00:04:00,430 Not to be an expert, 'cause everybody's a fuckin' expert. 96 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,530 Must be nice. 97 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,550 Can you get me some sour candies? 98 00:04:25,450 --> 00:04:26,790 Sure, Katy-Kat. 99 00:04:31,930 --> 00:04:33,860 You got him well trained, don't ya? 100 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:43,700 Wayne, how'r ya now. Not s'bad. Good 'n you? Now... now hold on, Wayne, Wayne. 101 00:04:43,740 --> 00:04:45,740 Wayne, we aint' got time for the pleasantries, all right? 102 00:04:45,770 --> 00:04:48,840 Youse guys heard what the hockey coach is up to at the golf course? 103 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,140 Fuck golf. 104 00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:51,950 Fuckin' ankle sock wearin' sallies, that's all I know. 105 00:04:51,980 --> 00:04:53,310 That fuckin' twat 106 00:04:53,350 --> 00:04:56,220 says there's too much shits from Canada Gooses on the golf course. 107 00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,350 There's too much shit from Canada Gooses everywhere. 108 00:04:58,390 --> 00:05:00,220 Just keep your dog out of it and keep walkin'. 109 00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,760 Exactly. But get this. 110 00:05:01,790 --> 00:05:04,590 To curb the amount of shits from Canada Gooses, 111 00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:07,530 that degenerate son-of-a-bitch has put the wheels in motion 112 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,900 to oil and grease up the eggs! Hot Jimmy! 113 00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:12,400 What the fuck ya talkin' about oil and grease up the eggs? 114 00:05:12,430 --> 00:05:13,930 They track down the Canada Gooses nests, 115 00:05:13,970 --> 00:05:16,370 put oil on Canada Gooses eggs so they won't hatch. 116 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,940 -Oh! -(ALL) What?! 117 00:05:17,970 --> 00:05:23,040 So mother Canada Gooses sit on their eggs and wait diligently for them to-- 118 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:24,650 Hatch, but they never hatch. 119 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,950 Canada Gooseslings die inside the egg. 120 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,120 What?! 121 00:05:28,150 --> 00:05:29,480 What?! 122 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:30,580 What?! 123 00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:31,690 What?! 124 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,120 I've never been so irate in my whole fuckin' life! 125 00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:36,290 You fuck with mother nature! You don't fuck with it, cocksucker. 126 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,790 You don't fuck with motherhood! 127 00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:40,490 There's a special place in heaven for animal lovers, that's all I know. 128 00:05:40,530 --> 00:05:42,100 Those are fuckin' Canada Gooses. 129 00:05:43,460 --> 00:05:45,300 Those are Canada's fuckin' gooses. 130 00:05:45,330 --> 00:05:47,400 Canada Gooses are majestics. 131 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:50,440 Barrel-chested. The envys of all ornithologys. 132 00:05:50,470 --> 00:05:52,970 They are leaders. Born and bred leaders. 133 00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:55,080 Canada Gooses are van-fuckin'-garde. 134 00:05:55,110 --> 00:05:56,140 Avant-fuckin'-garde. 135 00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:57,310 Guardians of the fuckin' galaxy! 136 00:05:57,340 --> 00:05:59,510 You wanna know what? You got a problem with Canada Gooses, 137 00:05:59,550 --> 00:06:02,150 you got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate. 138 00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:05,190 Now coach is an expert on Canada Gooses. Must be fuckin' nice! 139 00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:07,350 When I was comings up you'd be lucky to even have Canada Gooses. 140 00:06:07,390 --> 00:06:11,960 Now we got so manys you want to start killin' their babies. Must be fuckin' nice. 141 00:06:11,990 --> 00:06:13,690 You guys ever notice 142 00:06:13,730 --> 00:06:17,160 that as soon as there's a problem around here everybody starts killin' Canada Gooses? 143 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,370 We oughtta leave this world behind. 144 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,600 Canada Gooses mate for life. They're just like you and me. 145 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,300 Those cocksuckers help each other fly when they're in the air. 146 00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:25,540 They look out for each other. 147 00:06:25,570 --> 00:06:27,040 Now you wanna kill them for takin' shits. 148 00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:29,980 You know, I saw two Canada Gooses mount a swan one time 149 00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:32,480 and you gotta think that swan told her friends about it. 150 00:06:32,510 --> 00:06:33,910 You're goddamn right she did. 151 00:06:33,950 --> 00:06:37,280 I think we all need to take a good look in the mirror and ask ourselves, 152 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,290 where we would be without Canada Gooses. 153 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,290 We cannot allows this to happen. 154 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,490 We will not allow this to happen. 155 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:47,460 I'm about ready to put some anthrax in the fuckin' mail here, that's all I know. 156 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,560 ooh! Settle down, baby. Settle down. 157 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,470 Hey! Let's hit the golf course! 158 00:06:55,670 --> 00:06:57,400 -Hey. Hey, buddy. -Oh, hey, buddy. 159 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,910 You, uh, throwin' some weights around, eh? 160 00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:01,480 Beastin' it up. 161 00:07:01,510 --> 00:07:03,210 Nice. Muscle confusing. 162 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,580 Progressive overloading. 163 00:07:04,610 --> 00:07:05,880 Gettin' yolked. 164 00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:07,080 Gettin' yolked. 165 00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:12,250 Nice. Could use a spot every now and then, though, you know. 166 00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:14,150 Could use a spot sometimes too. 167 00:07:16,090 --> 00:07:17,290 But I'm... I'm fine, though, man. Like, I'm good. 168 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:21,190 Oh, yeah. No, I'm good, dude. Super good, man. Thanks for... 169 00:07:25,970 --> 00:07:27,070 Sweet... 170 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,570 Who brought the rockets, boys? 171 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,870 Whose billet brothers are fuckin' rockets, boys? 172 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,570 I'll celebrate your biscuit all night, bud. 173 00:07:33,610 --> 00:07:35,010 Ever gone bar upski? 174 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,340 Fag. 175 00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:38,510 How'd you know your dad's safe word when I fist his ass, bud? 176 00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:40,410 We got real dirty with his dangle, bud. 177 00:07:40,450 --> 00:07:42,550 I fucked your dad with chapped lips and a runny nose. 178 00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:44,820 Fucked your dad with bad bread and B.O. 179 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:47,920 Olympic rules in this shoot-out boys. 180 00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:51,630 Order of shooters is me, me, me and then me, again. 181 00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:52,960 I'm fuckin' T.J Oshie. 182 00:07:52,990 --> 00:07:56,230 You've never seen a two-way centre-man with jam like this, boys. 183 00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:59,630 Let's see some jam, boys. Let's see you jam it right up there. 184 00:07:59,670 --> 00:08:01,300 You need a pest on your roster? 185 00:08:01,330 --> 00:08:02,540 I'm a shit disturber. 186 00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:04,400 I'll disturb your shit all night. 187 00:08:08,980 --> 00:08:10,010 Wanna play some Chel? 188 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,680 I should... I should really get back to Katy, buddy. 189 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,310 Good call. 190 00:08:14,350 --> 00:08:17,280 Man, she makes me do stuff for her like all the time. 191 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:22,660 I'll play Chel with you, buddy. Let's hit that A button. Ay, ay, ay, ay... 192 00:08:22,690 --> 00:08:27,790 If he gets tired I'll be right there to hit ay, ay, ay, ay, for him. 193 00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:31,360 I'll cover his point... any day. 194 00:08:32,870 --> 00:08:34,230 Must be nice. 195 00:08:38,510 --> 00:08:40,670 Thank you. I am very good. 196 00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:42,680 So, ladies and gentlemen of the 197 00:08:42,710 --> 00:08:47,610 Letterkenny Grey Granite Copper Crick Whistle Ridge Golf & Country Club, 198 00:08:47,650 --> 00:08:51,120 goose droppings will no longer be impeding our play on this lovely course. 199 00:08:51,690 --> 00:08:53,320 Thank you. Thank you. 200 00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:55,690 Now let's hit the links! 201 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:59,630 Has someone around here got a problem with Canada Gooses takin' Canada deuces? 202 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,030 Must be nice! 203 00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:05,700 When I was comings up we'd be luck to even have oils for our tractors. 204 00:09:05,730 --> 00:09:09,540 Now you got so much of it you want to pour it on eggs. Must be fuckin' nice! 205 00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:12,610 Whenever anybody's got a problem these days it's straight to dumpin' oil on it. 206 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:13,710 We oughtta leave this world behind. 207 00:09:13,740 --> 00:09:15,140 Wanna know what? You got a problem with Canada Gooses, 208 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:19,050 you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate. 209 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,950 Leave the egg painting to the Easter Bunny, you pile of shit! 210 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:27,590 Your wardrobe colour scheme looks like a bi-polar spell! 211 00:09:28,690 --> 00:09:30,320 Get those cocksuckers off your feet! 212 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:33,330 -Pardon? -The ankle socks, you fuckin' sally. 213 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,630 How does your wife let you leave the house lookin' like that, huh? 214 00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:37,530 My wife died three years ago. 215 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:40,200 Yeah, well, one look at you and it's clear she's in a better place now, you fuckin' asshole! 216 00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:44,700 Look! The oiling of goose eggs was approved by the board, all right? 217 00:09:44,740 --> 00:09:46,470 And a fine board it is. 218 00:09:46,510 --> 00:09:50,580 So your little breaking-glass display is not going to work. 219 00:09:50,610 --> 00:09:53,650 That's why we have a new by-law that prohibits glass bottles. 220 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,480 So all of you are going to get fined. 221 00:09:56,520 --> 00:10:01,760 Fine my balls, you fuckin' dandy. Fine 'em and suck 'em while you're at it, you chooch! 222 00:10:01,790 --> 00:10:03,460 I will do neither of those things, good sir. 223 00:10:03,490 --> 00:10:06,590 There's a special place in heaven for animal lovers, that's what I always say. 224 00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:09,930 Yes. And those animals will now have a special place in heaven, as well. 225 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:13,830 Along with my wife, Barbara. So, let's hit the links! 226 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:15,870 Fuckin' embarrassing. 227 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,770 I'm ready to drive my car into a crowd. 228 00:10:19,810 --> 00:10:21,580 Just calm down, baby. 229 00:10:21,610 --> 00:10:24,880 Let's get to work on getting the Canada Gooses off the golf course. 230 00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:26,780 We have some coyote decoys in the shed. 231 00:10:26,810 --> 00:10:28,850 Worked for that golf course off the Maitlands River. 232 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,420 Uh-hm, it'll work here too. 233 00:10:30,450 --> 00:10:33,620 -Pitter-patter. -We'll get to work on getting ankle socks off the golf course. 234 00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:35,520 -Ain't that right, baby. -Uh-hm. 235 00:10:36,290 --> 00:10:37,520 Let's do this! 236 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,490 -'Sup boys? -Nothing. 237 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:10,960 You? 238 00:11:10,990 --> 00:11:11,990 Nothin' 239 00:11:12,030 --> 00:11:15,660 I'm not doing a whole lot of anything these days. 240 00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:19,770 Oh. Oh. Be my altar boy, man. Be my altar man. 241 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:24,670 The Lord worketh dayeth and nighteth in his battle to castaway heathenethses. 242 00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:28,170 That's a lot of work for the Lordeth alone. The Lord could useth some helpeth 243 00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:30,740 in his fight against the heathensetheseses... 244 00:11:30,780 --> 00:11:33,350 No! The Lordeth have all the help in the world. 245 00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:37,720 And all they want is your money anyway. Join us. 246 00:11:38,650 --> 00:11:40,790 Connect. Conjugate. 247 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:42,790 Coalesce. 248 00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:45,460 -I'm not really religious, boys. -That'll do. 249 00:11:45,490 --> 00:11:48,030 -Have nothing really against it, though. -That'll do. 250 00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:49,830 Can't we all just hang out? 251 00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:51,060 (ALL) No! 252 00:11:55,670 --> 00:11:59,310 Coyotes. The most obnoxious predators of rural Canadas. 253 00:11:59,340 --> 00:12:02,210 The town'll still give you sixty-five bucks a tail for pickin' 'em off. 254 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:05,780 To kill coyotes is okay. Coyotes'll raid your hen house. 255 00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:09,180 Coyotes attack your livestock, too. You don't see no Canada Gooses steal with nobody, 256 00:12:09,220 --> 00:12:10,620 good or bad. 257 00:12:10,650 --> 00:12:12,320 No. You know what Canada Gooses do? 258 00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:15,560 Canada Gooses help the people who what's stolen from. That's what Canada Gooses do. 259 00:12:15,590 --> 00:12:17,660 Tell you what, if you're accusing Canada Gooses of stealing, 260 00:12:17,690 --> 00:12:20,360 you're accusing me of stealing and I suggest you let that one marinate. 261 00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:23,060 Let's get real here. Coyote decoys work on Canada Gooses, 262 00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:26,730 but there's not a coyote on planet Earth who wants nothin' to do with no Canada Gooses. 263 00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:30,970 Lions is lucky Canada Gooses don't migrate to Africa. Then they'd be's extinct. 264 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,810 The only animal in the animal kingdom what wants anything to do with Canada Gooses 265 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:35,840 is Canada Mooses. 266 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,840 Well, Mike Tyson had a pretty good run of things. 267 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:38,650 Do you wanna know why? 268 00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:40,180 No Canada Gooses in his weight class. 269 00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:42,850 Don't you remember when that plane had to land on the river in New York 270 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,450 'cause Canada Gooses flew into the engine? 271 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,420 It's 'cause Canada Gooses likely had intel there was a pedophile or two 272 00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:49,690 on board and took matters into their own hands. 273 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:50,820 As they should! 274 00:12:50,860 --> 00:12:52,060 No innocent people hurt either. 275 00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:53,890 You think that's a fluke? You tell me that's a fluke. 276 00:12:53,930 --> 00:12:54,930 Go ahead and try and tell me that's a fluke. 277 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,030 You try to tell me that's a fluke right now. 278 00:12:56,060 --> 00:12:59,270 Okay, look! No Canada Gooses on the golf course 279 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,200 means no eggs to be oiled. Animal cruelty avoided. 280 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,700 Fuckin' eh. 281 00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:05,570 You know, when I was comin' up you'd be lucky to even have any animals. 282 00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:07,670 Now you got so many animals you wants to be cruel to them? 283 00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:08,710 Must be fuckin' nice! 284 00:13:08,740 --> 00:13:09,710 Any time anybody's got a problem these days 285 00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:12,110 it's straight to being cruel to animals. 286 00:13:12,150 --> 00:13:13,710 We gotta leave this world behind. 287 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:16,850 Keep it movin'. I wanna get some sun today and there's still lots to do. 288 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,380 For Canada Gooses? 289 00:13:18,420 --> 00:13:19,650 ALL: Anything! 290 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,320 MAN: Quack! Who's that? 291 00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:25,960 Fuckin' embarrassing. 292 00:13:25,990 --> 00:13:28,460 You gonna replace that divot there, asshole? 293 00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:32,200 (GLASS SMASHING) That cocksucker went farther than your ball did, you sally. 294 00:13:32,230 --> 00:13:34,130 -Whoa! -You got your pitchin' wedge in there? 295 00:13:34,170 --> 00:13:36,640 I got a pitch for you. Go fuck yourself. 296 00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:37,800 That's impressive. 297 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,210 Heard you were sexually harassing all the beer-kart girls. 298 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,640 Well, we have a beer-kart boy in this club so... 299 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:43,810 -Bingo! -(LAUGHING) 300 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,950 WOMAN: Have some self-respect you fuckin' sally. 301 00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:48,480 You're on Canada Gooses land. 302 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:52,250 You better fix that divot 'cause Canada Gooses would fix it for you. 303 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,750 There's a special place in heaven for friggin' animal lovers, 304 00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,890 -that's what I always say. -Um-hmm. 305 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,830 -Watch yourself, baby. -(GLASS SMASHING) 306 00:13:58,860 --> 00:14:00,060 You suck! 307 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,430 Go fuck yourself, ya sally! 308 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,570 Dookus... 309 00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:08,970 All right, Jonesy. 310 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,940 Despite catastrophic contrariness in character 311 00:14:11,970 --> 00:14:13,940 and concerning contrast in conduct. 312 00:14:13,970 --> 00:14:15,580 Disturbing disparity in demeanour. 313 00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:16,810 Don't be redundant, Roald. 314 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,810 (SNORING) Oh my God, I just woke up. 315 00:14:18,850 --> 00:14:20,380 Remind me. 316 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,620 Do you enjoy gaming? 317 00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:23,680 -Yeah. -Dancing. 318 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:24,780 Dancing. 319 00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:25,920 -No. -Hard drugs? 320 00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:29,760 -That's a fight on sight, buddy. -Qui! C'est parfait! 321 00:14:29,790 --> 00:14:34,860 -Pardon? -I think you mean pardone. Donc ... Faque allons-y! 322 00:14:34,890 --> 00:14:37,360 Jonesy. Do you like bread? 323 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,600 -Yeah. -Uh-hmm. 324 00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:39,870 That's the body of Christ, buddy. Do you like wine? 325 00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:43,940 -Sure. -That's the blood of Christ. Do you like singing? 326 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,870 -Um... -Doot do do do do... 327 00:14:45,910 --> 00:14:48,340 -Do do. -Oh, Lord, did you hear it? 328 00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:52,150 It's the voice of an angel. I think the choice is clear. Just do it! 329 00:14:52,180 --> 00:14:54,850 -But... gaming! -Gaming. 330 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:56,520 -I love Chel, boys. -Chel it is. 331 00:14:56,550 --> 00:14:57,450 Chel it is. 332 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:02,320 Chel? Uh, no! No! What about... cheese. 333 00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:04,290 Cheese? 334 00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,290 Yes. Cheese. 335 00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:11,870 Everyone knows cheese is the milk of Christ. 336 00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:15,900 You've hit the motherlode of cheesie yumminess when you pick Christ. 337 00:15:15,940 --> 00:15:17,500 It's a classic. Bread, wine, cheese. 338 00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:20,870 And also cured in salted dried meats. 339 00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:23,680 That's the flesh of Christ. 340 00:15:23,710 --> 00:15:25,180 -Huh? -See Corinthians! 341 00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:27,980 Bread, wine, cheese, meat! 342 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,050 Christianity is a charcuterie board. 343 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,350 Come have some charcuterie with Christ, Jonesy. 344 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:33,720 You'll like it. It's yummy. 345 00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,050 -Blasphemy! -Sacrilege! 346 00:15:35,090 --> 00:15:35,920 What would you know? 347 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,290 (CAR DOOR CLOSES) 348 00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:39,930 Hey, buddy. 349 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,490 Hey, buddy. 350 00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:44,060 Katy send you for some sour candies again? 351 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:45,370 Yeah, buddy. 352 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,870 Buddy, you should just buy a bunch of packs of sour candies. 353 00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:51,600 You put all the packs of sour candies in a jar at Katy's, 354 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,910 then you won't have to keep coming into town to get sour candies. 355 00:15:53,940 --> 00:15:58,010 She'll have all the sour candies she wants right there. 356 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,580 Did you know that you're the smartest person that I've ever met? 357 00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:04,120 Back off, Reilly. Jonesy's coming with me. 358 00:16:04,150 --> 00:16:07,920 No he is not! He's coming with us. 359 00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:10,060 I need a crew, buddy. 360 00:16:10,090 --> 00:16:12,060 Jonesy want some charcuterie of Christ? 361 00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:13,260 You must be hungry. You want a snacky? 362 00:16:13,290 --> 00:16:15,400 -Christ gives you snackies. -Jones... come here Jonesy. 363 00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:16,530 You want a little snackie, just... shhh-- 364 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,400 -Jonesy. Come here, Jonesy. -(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 365 00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:19,530 Yummy, yummy. Come here, Jonesy. 366 00:16:19,570 --> 00:16:21,630 Yummy, yummy, snack down. Yummy, yummy, snack down. 367 00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:23,470 -(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) -Who's the good Jonesy? 368 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:24,600 Come here... come here Jonesy. Come. Come-- 369 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:28,910 Yummy, yummy ... Yummy yummy- Oh who's the good Jonesy? 370 00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:30,040 Jonesy, chel, chel, chel... chel Jonesy, come here buddy. Come on. 371 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,810 Chel, chel, chel, chel, chel, chel, chel, chel, chel... 372 00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:37,220 Bujie, bujie, bujie, bujie... 373 00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:41,890 Chel... chel... Come here, Jonesy. 374 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,620 (GEESE HONKING) 375 00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:46,430 -MAN: Fuck golf... -Fuckin' embarrassing. 376 00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:49,730 Would you stop talkin' so I can enjoy this peaceful game? 377 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:53,100 How fuckin' peaceful can it be hackin' it up all day, bud. 378 00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:54,930 -You fuckin' suck. -You're terrible. 379 00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,800 I'm not sure time heals that wound. 380 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,770 Must be nice to have time to hack it up all day. Must be nice. 381 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,240 When I was comin' up we'd be lucky to have any times to relax. 382 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,010 Now you got enough time to relax and hacks it up. 383 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,580 Must be fuckin' nice! 384 00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:08,780 Whenever anybody has a problem these days it's straight to hacking it up 385 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,320 and make yourself look like a fuckin' fool on the links. 386 00:17:11,350 --> 00:17:12,990 Gotta leave this world behind. 387 00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:15,420 -Look, the geese-- -Gooses! 388 00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:17,960 ...they're just pheasants with better marketing. 389 00:17:17,990 --> 00:17:20,460 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -You got a problem with Canada Gooses, 390 00:17:20,490 --> 00:17:23,300 you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate. 391 00:17:23,330 --> 00:17:25,800 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -You play the Beatles White Album backwards, 392 00:17:25,830 --> 00:17:26,870 you know what you hear? 393 00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:28,000 Canada Gooses. 394 00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:29,440 Same thing for Michael Jackson's Thriller. 395 00:17:29,470 --> 00:17:32,770 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -And everything Shania Twain's ever recorded! 396 00:17:32,810 --> 00:17:34,870 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -They buried a Canada Gooses feather 397 00:17:34,910 --> 00:17:37,140 at centre ice for Crosby's golden goal in 2010! 398 00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:40,110 When Columbus found North America and the Native Americans were in it, 399 00:17:40,150 --> 00:17:42,450 you know what helped them find the way? Canada Gooses. 400 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,050 And what did you hear right before JFK's got assassinated there, 401 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,350 Fuzzy Zellers? 402 00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:48,320 A Canada Goose trying to warns him. 403 00:17:48,350 --> 00:17:50,160 Did you ever notice how there's always Canada Gooses 404 00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:51,890 flying overhead when there's a fire? 405 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,960 They're flapping water on it, but no one calls them heroes. 406 00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:57,730 They're not in it for the glory; they're in it for the people. 407 00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:58,730 For the relationships. 408 00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:00,730 I've noticed walking down the path of my life 409 00:18:00,770 --> 00:18:03,200 usually in the deepest and darkest and saddest times, 410 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,170 there was always one set of footprints in the sand. 411 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,640 And they're webbed. 412 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,880 And if my wife were here instead of getting us a cocksucking gin and tonic 413 00:18:08,910 --> 00:18:12,050 she'd say there's a special place in heaven for animal lovers. 414 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:13,480 Fuckin' embarrassing. 415 00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:15,080 Bring it. Bring it. Bring it. 416 00:18:15,110 --> 00:18:16,650 Come on. Come on! 417 00:18:31,130 --> 00:18:32,870 See anyone up town? 418 00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:36,770 Yeah, uh, Roald, Stewart, 419 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:41,710 Glen, you know. Jonesy. 420 00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:44,740 I got a whole bag of sour candies for you so you can put 'em in a big jar 421 00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:48,210 and put 'em on the counter it's just... just for you, Katy-Kat. 422 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:51,580 Oh, no I wanted the sour jellybeans. 423 00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:55,420 Okay, but I just drove all the way to town and... and back. So, uh-- 424 00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:59,130 Well, maybe Jonesy can pick them up. Or is Jonesy gone? 425 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:03,300 (ECHOING) Jonesy gone... Jonesy gone... 426 00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:07,230 Jonesy gone... Jonesy gone... Jonesy gone... 427 00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:10,300 -No! -No? 428 00:19:10,340 --> 00:19:14,070 No. No. I'll... I'll... I'll go get... I'll go get them. 429 00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:16,740 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 430 00:20:03,220 --> 00:20:05,590 (INAUDIABLE) 431 00:20:05,630 --> 00:20:08,190 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -So, if I start taking shits on your golf course 432 00:20:08,230 --> 00:20:11,830 you can start killing my babies 'cause it's exact same thing with Canada Gooses. 433 00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:15,330 -It's exact same thing. -Aw, it's fuckin' embarrassing! 434 00:20:15,370 --> 00:20:17,770 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -And how do you thinks Evil Knievel's made all them 435 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,870 dare devil jumps there, shitty John Daleys, Canada Gooses. 436 00:20:20,910 --> 00:20:23,140 Letting them into their jet streams, that's how. 437 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,540 That... that is not true. 438 00:20:24,580 --> 00:20:26,680 The same thing goes for Evil Knievel Junior and Travis Pastrana. 439 00:20:26,710 --> 00:20:28,710 They owe everything they have to Canada Gooses. 440 00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:30,320 -It's not true! -(GLASS SHATTERS) 441 00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:31,750 And most people don't know this 442 00:20:31,780 --> 00:20:36,120 but Canada Gooses were the deciding factor in the 1995 Quebec referendum. 443 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,390 They kept this country together. 444 00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:39,960 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -You got a problem with animal lovers, 445 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:43,130 you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate. 446 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:47,170 Fine! Fine! The Geese-- 447 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,370 -Gooses! -(GRUNTS) 448 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,370 I will call off the oiling of the Goose eggs, all right, 449 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,340 if you will leave this golf course, all right, 450 00:20:53,370 --> 00:20:55,840 and let the members of the Letterkenny 451 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,340 Grey Granite Copper Creek 452 00:20:58,380 --> 00:21:02,420 Whistle Ridge Golf and goddam Country Club, 453 00:21:02,450 --> 00:21:05,180 play this game in peace! 454 00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:11,090 -Do we have your word? -You have my word! 455 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:14,690 Then come look me in the eye and shake my fuckin' hand. 456 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,230 Hop to it! 457 00:21:17,260 --> 00:21:18,760 Get movin', Tiger stripes Woods. 458 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,800 Horizontal stripes are never flattering. 459 00:21:24,270 --> 00:21:27,910 Thank fuckin' Christ, am I happy to leave this fuckin' Goose factory. 460 00:21:27,940 --> 00:21:30,440 -Holy shit do you hack it up... -Unreal. 461 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,450 Get some ankle socks, you dick head. 462 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,510 Come on, come on, come on, replace those divots. 463 00:21:34,550 --> 00:21:36,450 Those Canada Gooses will do it for you... 464 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,920 The fuckin' grass grows ... 465 00:21:40,490 --> 00:21:43,720 Go for an Arnold Palmer... 466 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:49,400 You know, it's hard not to have Canada Gooses backs when they're so close to us as humans. 467 00:21:49,430 --> 00:21:53,370 Male Canada Gooses help female Canada Gooses. 468 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:54,370 They're fuckin' hammered, eh? 469 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,100 It's pretty hard to believe that Canada Gooses 470 00:21:58,140 --> 00:22:01,110 are still labelled a pest species in most rural areas. 471 00:22:01,140 --> 00:22:05,210 Well, if the shoe fits, wear it. If the truth hurts, bare it, bud. 472 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,980 I'll always root for the underdog. 473 00:22:08,010 --> 00:22:11,420 The Canada Gooselings are pretty cute when they hatch though, right? 474 00:22:11,450 --> 00:22:13,050 Well, no arguments there, good buddy. 475 00:22:13,090 --> 00:22:14,490 Fuckin' eh. 476 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,060 Have you ever seen how Canada Gooses stray feathers floatin' on water? 477 00:22:17,090 --> 00:22:20,960 They're not even like other bird feathers that get all waterlogged and shit. 478 00:22:20,990 --> 00:22:25,160 No. They're aerodynamic. Aqua-dynamic. 479 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:29,770 It's almost like ants could use their feathers as racing as kayaks or some shit... 480 00:22:31,370 --> 00:22:33,340 Ants racing on kayaks, baby. 481 00:22:33,370 --> 00:22:37,210 Of course they can't, ants can't race no kayaks, honey. 482 00:22:38,510 --> 00:22:40,080 But maybe they coulds. 483 00:22:40,130 --> 00:22:44,680 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40806

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