Original subtitles

??

(Tim) Yes, um, I was wondering, we're looking

for accommodations for five children... okay.

He's been on the phone for a long time.

Who's he talking to?

Who knows?

Splitting is up is pretty complicated.

They probably have to find five different families to take us.

Four families.

They're sending me to the orphanage, remember?

Sorry, Max.

You know, I'm actually going.

I mean, I'd rather join the French Foreign Legion instead of that.

What's that? I'm not really sure.

But it's in a lot of movies.

As far as I can tell, it's this French army unit

that'll take anybody.

They take you in when you don't have, like,

a bunch of private islands or...

(Tim) Thank you so much, yeah, thanks.

Thanks, bye, bye.

Guys? I think I might have a plan.

(all talking at once)

Nobody's going anywhere!

It wasn't easy,

but I figured out a way how everybody

can stay together until Erik and Kate get back.

I do really need to have a word with them.

Anyway, why didn't you guys tell me

about your real aunt and uncle?

(all) Aunt Hedwig?

Yeah, and Uncle Eugene.

They're gonna come and stay with you guys

so everybody can stay together.

Isn't it fantastic?

I expected a more... positive reaction.

(weakly) Great... Yay...

(tires screech)

(horn honks)

I don't want to sleep in this house.

It's haunted.

Oh, get a grip, Hedy.

You've been a fraidy cat ever since we were kids.

It's not haunted.

But it is Hunter property.

Our property.

(doorbell chimes)

(Daniel) What are we worried about?

We already got rid of Hedwig once.

Oh, oh... (maniacal laughter)

We could do it again.

No, we're not.

We're gonna be perfect angels.

We are? Yeah, why?

All Hedwig cares about is stealing the diamond.

And I bet old Gene is in on it with her.

Okay, we have to pick up the fake diamond from Magpie

and deliver it to Saganash.

If we start making trouble,

Hedwig and Eugene will make trouble for us.

That's the last thing we need.

Exactly. We have to be smart.

But I don't want that witch

sleeping in Erik and Kate's bed.

It's like they're taking their place.

No one's taking Erik and Kate's place.

They'll be back soon. (sighs)

All we have to do is wait for Saganash to call.

In the meantime, we all need to be on our best behavior.

(dinging)

(ding)

(whistle blowing) What is that?

Fall in!

Fall in! Double-time! Fall in!

Line up for inspection!

I want a nice, straight line!

I want a pony.

What did you say?

Nothing.

One more remark from you, and it's latrine duty.

Do you copy?

What's he talking about?

Military talk. What?

He's going to make you clean the toilet.

(Anika laughs) No laughing.

Shh.

What, we're not allowed to laugh anymore?

Oh, one of us is going to laugh.

Me... when you're cleaning the toilet

with your toothbrush.

But that's not fair.

And then, you'll clean the kitchen.

With the same toothbrush?

After he cleaned the toilet with it?

That's nasty. Silence!

You will clean the kitchen with Daniel's toothbrush.

Now off to work.

And use plenty of disinfectant.

On the double!

Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!

Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!

And the rest of you, fall out!

That means you're dismissed, go, scram!

??

Disinfectant.

I'd like to disinfect him. (exhales)

(phone vibrating)

No, he's been cleaning

for six hour... (door rattles)

Hey, you're back! Finally.

Did you know it is really, really, really hard

to clean strawberry jam from a kitchen floor?

We got important news from Saganash.

He wants us to hand over the diamond tomorrow night in...

(loud snoring)

Max?

(snoring)

??

And these are going to be your morning rations

every day from now on.

Every day?

Mm-hmm.

Could... couldn't we get a little variety?

Of course, of course.

Every Sunday we will add a little raw garlic.

Great. Ugh.

What is it? Don't you like it?

It's delicious, sir.

I'm just not very hungry.

The regiment has a rule.

Take what you want, but eat what you take.

But I...

Wonder what they're eating at Blackfriars right now.

What was that?

(Hedwig) What did you say?

Nothing.

Mmm-mmm.

Oh...

Mmm, it's really good.

It certainly is.

And there's plenty more for you to enjoy, Hedy.

Oh.

Eat up. All of it.

Can't wait for garlic day.

Yum.

??

(school bell ringing)

(Tess) Okay.

All right.

That was Daniel.

The Magpie delivered the fake diamond to the house.

Yes. Yeah.

I am so hungry. Me too.

Ooh.

I'd give anything for one of Erik's sandwiches.

Or Kate's special pizzas.

What about her pancakes?

Oh, just think, you guys.

If everything goes according to plan, we'll have them back.

Maybe even tonight.

We just have to think of a way to get past our prison guards.

I think I might have an idea to help us out there.

Does innocent, young Salvatore have a scheme?

(piano music playing)

Well, what's all this?

Here you go, Uncle Eugene and Auntie Hedwig.

Welcome. Good evening.

Have a seat, please.

Do you like the music?

Hmm. Sit down, please.

And don't worry about your rooms.

Max and Tess are making up the bed with fresh sheets.

Can I go to bed now, Auntie Hedwig?

I already brushed my teeth for a full three minutes.

Then I brushed them again.

(ding)

I told you we'd break these rats in no time.

It's all a matter of showing who's the boss in the house.

It's all clear, let's go.

Shh.

There is so much that I don't like about this plan.

For instance?

Well, to start with, it's not an actual plan.

(phone chiming)

Hello?

(disguised voice) Do you have the diamond?

Yes.

Put it on the ground between number 99 and 100.

Wait, not so fast.

We need to know that our parents are okay.

They're fine, I promise.

Dude, you're a kidnapper.

Doesn't exactly make you the most reliable source here.

We need proof.

This is taking too long.

I'm going to count to three.

One... two...

All right, all right.

Good choice.

Now do it.

There. Okay.

All right, you go there, and I'm gonna go here.

Okay.

Now!

You don't get nothin' until we see Erik and Kate.

(Simone) What are you guys doing here?!

You, stop where you are!

What's that?

(sighs) Well, where have you been till this hour?

Tess was sick. We went to take out the trash.

I found them at a parking lot.

We can assure you we had no idea

these two were absent without leave.

(Hedwig) You have to understand.

I mean, we're trying our best, but... Yes.

These children are like untamed animals.

They come from broken homes.

They're barely even house trained. (chuckles)

They've always seemed like good kids to me.

But that's not my concern right now.

What I'd like to know

is why they would leave this lying around a parking lot.

Uh, may I see that?

Care to explain?

This is a diamond you had on exhibition the other day.

(chuckles) Oh, you...

you think that's Josephine's one true love?

And we'd just leave it at, at a parking lot?

That is the funniest thing I have ever heard in my life.

That's right! That's hilarious!

Then what is it?

Yeah, Max, what is it?

It's a fake... obviously.

I got it at this novelty shop on Dam Square.

It was, like, two euros?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Diamond.

Well, what were you doing with it

in the middle of the night at a parking lot?

We're part of this online game

where you accept challenges to do outrageous things.

And that guy who ran away? He was part of the game.

Exactly, yeah, he was the gemstonium.

Dominus, it's Latin for, uh, gemstone master.

I guess that explains his outfit.

(Tess) I know, right?

Who else in Amsterdam wears a hood and cape?

I'm gonna take this fake

to the police station for safekeeping.

Well, there's no need, I mean... No...

We can... we can take care of that.

Yes. I assure you.

You're here to watch the kids, not their belongings.

Any questions?

I guess it's good night, then.

(door closes) How dare you steal from us.

You will pay for this.

Keep the change.

(phone sounds)

(sighs)

Texting, when you should be working.

Where do you think you are?

Hanging out with your friends?

Definitely not.

Well, maybe this will teach you

not to steal valuables from our house.

This isn't your house.

It's Erik and Kate's house. It's our house!

Oh, what are you gonna do?

Attack me with a toothbrush?

One more stunt like that, brat,

and you will end up in... the orphanage.

Now get back to work.

(birds chirping)

(whispering) So now what?

We give 'em the real diamond.

Ugh, no, Kate and Erik specifically use a fake.

We're gonna do what they say.

(snoring)

Okay, so we have to get the fake diamond back from Simone.

Sounds like a job for the man of her dreams.

Tim? How's he gonna help?

Anika! Simone's crazy about Tim.

I can't be the only one who's noticed.

It's true.

There's no point in lying to myself.

(whistle blows)

Silence!

All present and accounted for.

We'll start this morning with calisthenics.

Shake out the cobwebs before your morning gruel, huh?

What don't you shake your own cobwebs, Gene?

Maximilian?

The latrine.

With your toothbrush.

On the double!

(snickers)

Joke's on you... Gene.

My toothbrush is officially retired.

Oh, I see.

We do have a problem.

So I guess I'm... off the hook.

Tess?

Am I correct that you wear eye makeup sometimes?

Um, yes, why?

??

Hi, Daniel, what's going on? Is everything okay?

Tim wants to see me?

Simone wants a what?

How do you... She told you.

Wait, why are you telling me this?

(distant voice over phone)

He is kind of shy, isn't he?

Police station, tonight, right.

Got it. I'll be there.

Well, thanks for calling, Daniel.

Thanks. Yes, yeah...

Bye. (beeping)

Okay, bye, Simone.

That was awful.

You were so good.

Yeah.

Look who I found sound asleep with his head on the toi...

toilet seat. (clears throat)

We wanted to give you your brush back.

(Max) Thanks, Tess.

Oh, thanks.

The plan is working, you guys.

Daniel set up a date for Simone

so we can steal the fake diamond back.

Great, Anika.

But, uh, I think you should do it without me.

Gene and Hedy are gonna be watching me like a movie.

Until Erik and Kate come back,

I'm gonna do everything they want.

Shh.

Seriously?

Very seriously.

No one's taking any valuables...

Our valuables.

...from this house.

(door opens)

(Eugene) What was that?

(door squeaks open)

(Hedwig) Be careful, Eugene.

Oh, whoever's in there better be careful.

These hands are deadly weapons.

(Tess laughs)

Good evening, Gene.

You insolent brat!

Whoa! Oh! Oh!

Oh, Eugene!

Oh!

(all laughing)

(Eugene and Hedwig groaning)

(all laughing)

You wanted a clean floor. How's that for clean?

You little monster!

Enjoy your evening.

You're finished!

You're going to Blackfriars.

Do you hear me?!

I thought you'd given up.

Hunters never give up.

Yeah, they don't. Whoo!

Eugene, my back!

My back!

(Simone) Thanks for the invitation.

No, thank you.

Wait, you invited me, right?

I did?

I know, Daniel actually made the call, but you...

I thought it was a great idea.

Whose idea?

Your idea.

You mean your idea.

(chuckles)

So... wanna grab a bite to eat?

Definitely.

When do you get off duty?

Right... now.

(both chuckling)

There they go. Ahh... yes.

(Sal) Yup, yup, yup, wait.

(Anika) I have an idea how to get in.

(Daniel) Wait, wait, go no, go now.

Right there, it's right there, right there.

(Max) Where is it?

(Sal) Hurry, somebody might be coming.

(crosstalk) There it is. Oh, there it is.

She's got it. Yes.

(Sal) Come on, please be the diamond, please be the diamond.

(all) Yes!

Go, go, go, quick, quick.

First you tell us where our parents are.

It's today's paper.

It's definitely them.

Wait, when do we get our parents back?!

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