Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,098 --> 00:00:12,133
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:12,698 --> 00:00:14,833
- To you.
- And you.
3
00:00:14,867 --> 00:00:16,200
I'd give you
a standing "o,"
4
00:00:16,235 --> 00:00:18,602
but we already did that
in the shower.
5
00:00:19,704 --> 00:00:21,796
Emmett,
I know you're in there.
6
00:00:21,831 --> 00:00:23,671
- Oh, no.
- Who is it?
7
00:00:23,705 --> 00:00:24,892
Shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh.
8
00:00:24,926 --> 00:00:26,707
She has bat-like hearing.
9
00:00:26,742 --> 00:00:28,669
I heard that.
10
00:00:28,703 --> 00:00:31,480
Emmett,
we need to talk.
11
00:00:31,514 --> 00:00:33,101
Excuse me,
but who are you
12
00:00:33,136 --> 00:00:34,538
to barge into my trailer?
13
00:00:34,573 --> 00:00:37,592
I'm his wife.
Who the hell are you?
14
00:00:41,779 --> 00:00:46,188
Sync by exsinner & Sub by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
15
00:00:47,529 --> 00:00:49,188
But you can't be
his wife.
16
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:50,257
Five years ago,
17
00:00:50,262 --> 00:00:51,902
you two were on the cover
of People magazine
18
00:00:51,936 --> 00:00:53,863
with a big tear
down the middle.
19
00:00:53,897 --> 00:00:56,691
It doesn't get more divorce
than that.
20
00:00:56,725 --> 00:00:59,297
We are divorced,
in every sense of the word.
21
00:00:59,332 --> 00:01:01,499
Except... legally.
22
00:01:01,533 --> 00:01:02,683
What?
23
00:01:02,717 --> 00:01:04,368
We never got around
to signing the papers.
24
00:01:04,402 --> 00:01:07,125
Nikki, if you're here,
you must want something.
25
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,212
I do.
26
00:01:08,247 --> 00:01:09,454
You know
how I've been trying
27
00:01:09,488 --> 00:01:10,532
to get on a reality show?
28
00:01:10,566 --> 00:01:12,555
Well, I got a call
from the producers
29
00:01:12,590 --> 00:01:15,398
of True Housewivesof Tampa/St. Pete.
30
00:01:15,432 --> 00:01:16,481
Ooh.
31
00:01:16,816 --> 00:01:20,580
Oh, I love
T.H.O.T.S.P.
32
00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:24,744
I mean, what does
that mindless trash
33
00:01:24,778 --> 00:01:26,821
have to do with us?
34
00:01:26,855 --> 00:01:30,181
They want me on the show
as Emmett's ex-wife.
35
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,769
But technically,
you're not his ex-wife.
36
00:01:32,803 --> 00:01:34,498
Is she always
this literal?
37
00:01:35,033 --> 00:01:37,393
That must get old.
38
00:01:37,427 --> 00:01:39,256
Anyway,
they'll only cast me
39
00:01:39,290 --> 00:01:40,654
if you agree to do
two appearances
40
00:01:40,689 --> 00:01:42,217
and an angry phone call
that interrupts me
41
00:01:42,252 --> 00:01:44,548
helping Stacy through
her breast implant explosion.
42
00:01:45,282 --> 00:01:46,077
Absolutely not.
43
00:01:47,112 --> 00:01:48,475
You know
I'll wear you down.
44
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,272
That may have worked
when we were married,
45
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:51,904
but not any longer.
46
00:01:51,938 --> 00:01:53,934
Technically,
you are still married.
47
00:01:53,969 --> 00:01:58,094
Oh, jeez.
This one, like a broken record.
48
00:02:00,459 --> 00:02:01,958
It's just
such a shock.
49
00:02:02,239 --> 00:02:05,196
I told Emmett it didn't bother
me, but I'm dying inside.
50
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:08,352
- You should have said that.
- Then I'd have to say why.
51
00:02:08,386 --> 00:02:11,215
I'm upset because I thought
there was a future for us,
52
00:02:11,249 --> 00:02:13,413
and I thought
that he felt the same.
53
00:02:13,447 --> 00:02:15,079
Then how could he feel
the same
54
00:02:15,114 --> 00:02:17,476
if he's known all along
that he was married?
55
00:02:17,510 --> 00:02:18,608
Then talk to him.
56
00:02:18,642 --> 00:02:20,908
People say that communication
is the key
57
00:02:20,942 --> 00:02:22,074
to any relationship.
58
00:02:22,108 --> 00:02:26,469
People don't say that.
Women say that.
59
00:02:26,504 --> 00:02:28,535
Lonely women whose boyfriends
have left them
60
00:02:28,569 --> 00:02:29,535
because they always want
to talk
61
00:02:29,569 --> 00:02:32,266
about the relationship.
62
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:34,865
Oh, and besides, it's too soon
to have that conversation.
63
00:02:34,899 --> 00:02:37,091
We've only known each other
a few months.
64
00:02:37,126 --> 00:02:39,756
Did he say why he hasn't
signed the divorce papers?
65
00:02:39,790 --> 00:02:42,621
He said it slipped his mind.
Please.
66
00:02:42,655 --> 00:02:45,552
Who forgets to sign
their divorce papers?
67
00:02:45,586 --> 00:02:48,283
You and Joy.
68
00:02:48,317 --> 00:02:53,815
Aren't you two still
fake-gay-Canadian married?
69
00:02:55,082 --> 00:02:56,780
Oh, God,
she's right.
70
00:02:56,814 --> 00:03:00,111
Wait.
Maybe this is good.
71
00:03:00,145 --> 00:03:02,143
This way I can bring up
the subject
72
00:03:02,178 --> 00:03:03,977
as something
we have in common:
73
00:03:04,011 --> 00:03:05,142
The need to rid ourselves
74
00:03:05,176 --> 00:03:08,876
of the hideous women
we married.
75
00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:11,508
No offense, Joy.
76
00:03:11,542 --> 00:03:13,373
I don't have time
to take offense.
77
00:03:13,408 --> 00:03:15,306
I have a biology final
to get to,
78
00:03:15,340 --> 00:03:16,472
and I've got
just enough time
79
00:03:16,507 --> 00:03:17,739
for one last tutoring session
80
00:03:17,773 --> 00:03:19,705
- with Dr. Lloyd.
- Who's that?
81
00:03:19,739 --> 00:03:21,638
Oh, he's this young resident
I've been paying
82
00:03:21,672 --> 00:03:22,804
to help me study.
83
00:03:22,839 --> 00:03:24,437
I didn't tell you
because I wanted you
84
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:26,136
to think I was smart
all on my own.
85
00:03:26,171 --> 00:03:29,903
Oh, Joy.
We would never think that.
86
00:03:36,569 --> 00:03:38,368
Oh,
it's the Zappos delivery guy.
87
00:03:38,402 --> 00:03:40,434
You mean the mailman?
88
00:03:40,468 --> 00:03:43,267
I don't know
what the technical term is.
89
00:03:43,301 --> 00:03:45,367
Just leave it
on the porch.
90
00:03:45,401 --> 00:03:46,767
Victoria,
one of the reasons
91
00:03:46,801 --> 00:03:48,800
we moved to Cleveland
was to get to know people.
92
00:03:48,835 --> 00:03:50,433
It's okay to interact.
93
00:03:50,467 --> 00:03:54,666
I'm an actor, Melanie,
not an "interactor."
94
00:03:55,733 --> 00:03:57,799
Hi.
Oh, thank you so much.
95
00:03:57,834 --> 00:03:59,432
How are you doing today?
96
00:03:59,466 --> 00:04:00,999
If you must know,
97
00:04:01,034 --> 00:04:04,298
I've never been sadder
in my life.
98
00:04:04,332 --> 00:04:06,265
Oh, dear.
Why?
99
00:04:06,299 --> 00:04:08,598
My wife of 30 years
left me today.
100
00:04:08,632 --> 00:04:11,264
My heart is breaking.
101
00:04:11,298 --> 00:04:12,898
Oh, I'm so sorry.
102
00:04:13,332 --> 00:04:14,731
Well, is there anything
we can do?
103
00:04:15,265 --> 00:04:17,297
"We"?
104
00:04:18,565 --> 00:04:21,397
- Maybe a glass of water.
- Of course, come on in.
105
00:04:22,041 --> 00:04:24,462
Just have a seat.
I'll get your water.
106
00:04:24,496 --> 00:04:27,926
- A little ice maybe.
- Of course.
107
00:04:27,961 --> 00:04:30,823
And if you have
some lemon peel,
108
00:04:30,858 --> 00:04:33,586
curlicue like the tail
of the pig?
109
00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:35,484
Oh, I-I don't know
how to do that.
110
00:04:35,519 --> 00:04:36,517
How about a wedge?
111
00:04:37,051 --> 00:04:39,413
The curlicue
is better.
112
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,710
Starting to understand
why his wife left him.
113
00:04:45,926 --> 00:04:48,025
You've got to get him
out of here.
114
00:04:48,060 --> 00:04:50,563
Elka,
his wife just left him.
115
00:04:50,597 --> 00:04:53,065
Helping him out
is the nice thing to do,
116
00:04:53,099 --> 00:04:54,433
the Cleveland thing
to do.
117
00:04:54,467 --> 00:04:57,845
Well, even in Cleveland,
there's a line.
118
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:01,495
It's not like Dayton
where anything goes.
119
00:05:01,529 --> 00:05:03,301
I'll give him
his glass of water,
120
00:05:03,335 --> 00:05:04,337
and then he'll leave.
121
00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,174
You're too much
of a mush.
122
00:05:06,209 --> 00:05:07,686
I'll handle it.
123
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,410
What's going on?
124
00:05:14,445 --> 00:05:18,123
He's staying
for the weekend.
125
00:05:18,157 --> 00:05:19,893
What happened to the line?
126
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,407
Welcome to Dayton.
127
00:05:27,518 --> 00:05:30,224
Lloyd,
I think I aced my test.
128
00:05:30,259 --> 00:05:31,496
One question:
129
00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:34,232
The nucleotide in RNA
but not DNA--
130
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:37,135
it's uracil, right?
- It is so uracil.
131
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,738
You are
the best tutor ever!
132
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:44,676
Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
133
00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:52,685
Bathroom's free.
134
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,353
Whose robe is that?
135
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,756
You know,
sometimes you order a robe
136
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,425
from Eddie Bauer,
and it doesn't come?
137
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:00,626
Yeah.
138
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:03,129
It always comes.
139
00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:07,171
- Listen, Ye'arj.
- It's Ye'arj.
140
00:06:07,205 --> 00:06:08,639
- Ye'arj.
- Ye'arj.
141
00:06:08,674 --> 00:06:09,941
- Ye'arj.
- Ye'arj.
142
00:06:09,975 --> 00:06:11,309
Ye'arj.
143
00:06:11,344 --> 00:06:12,878
You're not listening,
Melney.
144
00:06:12,912 --> 00:06:16,615
- Melanie.
- That's what I said.
145
00:06:18,851 --> 00:06:22,487
So just like you,
I too am still legally married,
146
00:06:22,521 --> 00:06:24,622
albeit in Canada.
147
00:06:24,656 --> 00:06:27,324
And as soon as the divorce
papers get here from--
148
00:06:27,758 --> 00:06:30,194
I want to say up north,
149
00:06:30,728 --> 00:06:33,497
I am gonna be signing them
right away.
150
00:06:33,531 --> 00:06:36,035
Good for you,
Victoria.
151
00:06:36,070 --> 00:06:38,205
Oh, it's sure gonna feel good
to sign those papers.
152
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,841
Bet it will.
153
00:06:40,876 --> 00:06:43,043
Victoria, I'm not in love
with this scene
154
00:06:43,078 --> 00:06:44,044
we're shooting today.
155
00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:45,379
I mean,
do people in real life
156
00:06:45,413 --> 00:06:48,215
just burst into a room
and announce their plans?
157
00:06:48,650 --> 00:06:51,685
Emmett,
I'm gonna blackmail you.
158
00:06:53,187 --> 00:06:54,755
What are you talking about,
Nikki?
159
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,890
You know
that famous lovemaking scene
160
00:06:56,925 --> 00:06:58,525
with Emmett
and Susan Sarandon?
161
00:06:58,559 --> 00:07:01,028
Oh, of course.
So raw, so brave.
162
00:07:01,062 --> 00:07:03,430
So fake.
He used a body double.
163
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,498
And if you don't agree
to be on my show,
164
00:07:05,533 --> 00:07:07,167
I will tell everyone
165
00:07:07,201 --> 00:07:10,336
that the famously truthful
sir Emmett Lawson is a fraud.
166
00:07:10,370 --> 00:07:12,572
You know
I had no choice.
167
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:15,141
I had to gain 50 pounds
for a previous role,
168
00:07:15,176 --> 00:07:18,712
and my backside
was still a little doughy.
169
00:07:20,915 --> 00:07:22,916
And now
I have my proof.
170
00:07:22,950 --> 00:07:24,851
I recorded
this conversation.
171
00:07:25,485 --> 00:07:28,020
Damn it.
My phone is dead.
172
00:07:28,055 --> 00:07:29,889
Stupid boyfriend.
173
00:07:30,424 --> 00:07:32,659
Brad!
174
00:07:32,693 --> 00:07:34,194
Hey, what's up?
175
00:07:34,728 --> 00:07:36,729
Were you playing
Angry Birds again?
176
00:07:36,764 --> 00:07:39,399
No,Fruit Ninja.
177
00:07:39,433 --> 00:07:42,836
Brad used to be
our live-in tennis instructor.
178
00:07:42,870 --> 00:07:45,338
I also cleaned the pools
and walked the dog.
179
00:07:45,372 --> 00:07:49,342
I'm kind
of a Renaissance man.
180
00:07:53,581 --> 00:07:55,849
How about
the Catena Malbec?
181
00:07:55,883 --> 00:07:58,084
- Mmm, sounds lovely.
- Great.
182
00:07:58,119 --> 00:07:59,286
You'll have to order it.
183
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:00,520
Sorry?
184
00:08:00,554 --> 00:08:04,157
I can't legally
since I'm under 21.
185
00:08:08,597 --> 00:08:12,299
How... under 21 are you?
186
00:08:12,333 --> 00:08:15,135
- 17.
- 17?
187
00:08:15,169 --> 00:08:17,337
Oh, wrong, wrong.
188
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,939
Sorry, not 17.
18.
189
00:08:18,974 --> 00:08:22,544
I turned 18, like, a week ago.
I keep forgetting.
190
00:08:26,196 --> 00:08:28,530
18?
You're only 18?
191
00:08:28,564 --> 00:08:31,400
I graduated high school at 11,
med school at 16.
192
00:08:31,434 --> 00:08:34,202
So you're some sort
of Doogie Howser?
193
00:08:34,237 --> 00:08:35,972
Who?
194
00:08:37,006 --> 00:08:40,409
You know, the TV show
from the early '90s.
195
00:08:40,443 --> 00:08:43,045
Before you were born.
196
00:08:43,079 --> 00:08:45,380
Joy, age doesn't matter
to me.
197
00:08:45,414 --> 00:08:47,816
What matters is that we have
a real connection.
198
00:08:47,850 --> 00:08:50,085
So smooth and unlined.
199
00:08:50,119 --> 00:08:52,088
How did I miss that?
200
00:08:52,122 --> 00:08:54,690
I finally went through
my growth spurt last summer.
201
00:08:54,724 --> 00:08:57,559
Before that, I was all baby fat,
no body hair.
202
00:08:57,593 --> 00:09:00,595
Oh, God.
203
00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:02,731
Joy, I think we have
something really special.
204
00:09:02,765 --> 00:09:05,133
And I'm not just saying that
because you were my first.
205
00:09:05,168 --> 00:09:07,836
First?
First what?
206
00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:10,171
Please say "English woman."
207
00:09:10,906 --> 00:09:11,840
Nope.
208
00:09:11,841 --> 00:09:14,910
Lloyd,
this was a huge mistake.
209
00:09:14,944 --> 00:09:16,912
My huge mistake.
210
00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:19,685
I had no idea
you were so young.
211
00:09:19,719 --> 00:09:22,288
But now that I do,
this can never happen again.
212
00:09:22,322 --> 00:09:27,025
After all, I'm almost...
twice your age.
213
00:09:27,060 --> 00:09:28,527
It's just wrong.
214
00:09:28,561 --> 00:09:31,329
You're a genius.
I'm sure you understand.
215
00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:33,599
I love you.
216
00:09:35,234 --> 00:09:37,704
I love you so much.
217
00:09:43,019 --> 00:09:45,320
Even though
he's clearly annoyed by her
218
00:09:45,355 --> 00:09:47,189
and kicked her
and her deadbeat boyfriend
219
00:09:47,223 --> 00:09:49,458
out of my trailer,
he still wouldn't take the hint
220
00:09:49,492 --> 00:09:51,459
and sign
his divorce papers.
221
00:09:51,494 --> 00:09:54,963
And obviously,
it's too soon in relationship
222
00:09:54,997 --> 00:09:56,264
to have
to the conversation.
223
00:09:56,698 --> 00:09:58,432
Thank you.
224
00:09:58,967 --> 00:10:03,104
Maybe deadbeat boyfriend
feels the same as you.
225
00:10:03,138 --> 00:10:06,341
- Try getting him on your side.
- Of course.
226
00:10:06,375 --> 00:10:10,011
If he wants a future with her,
maybe we can form an alliance.
227
00:10:10,046 --> 00:10:12,481
- That is a really good idea.
- Thank you.
228
00:10:12,515 --> 00:10:14,917
Who are you?
229
00:10:16,152 --> 00:10:19,155
So, Brad, obviously
it would benefit us both
230
00:10:19,189 --> 00:10:21,291
if we could get them
to sign their divorce papers.
231
00:10:21,325 --> 00:10:23,026
Whoa.
Hold up.
232
00:10:23,060 --> 00:10:25,094
I don't want them
to get divorced.
233
00:10:25,128 --> 00:10:26,864
Thanks to Emmett's money,
I'm living in a castle
234
00:10:26,898 --> 00:10:29,364
and driving
a sweet-ass Jag.
235
00:10:29,399 --> 00:10:32,469
She signs the papers,
I gotta say adios to all that.
236
00:10:32,503 --> 00:10:34,438
But don't you want to be
with Nikki?
237
00:10:34,472 --> 00:10:36,973
Dude,
I am with Nikki.
238
00:10:37,508 --> 00:10:40,010
Plus, if I convince her
to get divorced,
239
00:10:40,044 --> 00:10:42,079
then the marriage conversation
is in the air.
240
00:10:42,113 --> 00:10:44,181
And who wants
that conversation?
241
00:10:44,615 --> 00:10:46,450
Not Brad.
242
00:10:48,186 --> 00:10:51,221
So anyway, now Lloyd
is obsessed with me.
243
00:10:51,255 --> 00:10:57,017
Oh, why do I have to be
such a great lover?
244
00:10:57,051 --> 00:10:59,885
- He's 18.
- So?
245
00:10:59,919 --> 00:11:02,353
You saw American Pie.
246
00:11:02,387 --> 00:11:06,557
You're just pie.
247
00:11:08,159 --> 00:11:10,794
Well, I'm down to two options
with Emmett.
248
00:11:10,829 --> 00:11:13,096
Either I have the conversation
I don't want to have,
249
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:15,598
or I figure out some way
to bribe Nikki
250
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,500
to get her
out of the picture for good.
251
00:11:17,534 --> 00:11:18,868
So Brad was no help?
252
00:11:18,902 --> 00:11:21,203
No, he's afraid
if they're officially divorced,
253
00:11:21,237 --> 00:11:22,971
then he'll have
to marry Nikki.
254
00:11:23,006 --> 00:11:24,506
That's it.
255
00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:27,141
I've been playing this thing
with Lloyd all wrong.
256
00:11:27,175 --> 00:11:29,442
Nothing sends a man
running faster
257
00:11:29,477 --> 00:11:31,210
than demanding
a commitment.
258
00:11:31,244 --> 00:11:35,914
Lloyd is the teenager
whose virginity Joy took.
259
00:11:35,949 --> 00:11:38,350
He's also
a brilliant doctor.
260
00:11:38,384 --> 00:11:41,319
If you think that's going
to take the creep off it, Joy,
261
00:11:41,354 --> 00:11:43,657
you're sadly mistaken.
262
00:11:45,691 --> 00:11:49,294
Lloyd, you're 18.
You've got wild oats to sow.
263
00:11:49,328 --> 00:11:53,464
Whereas my oats are sown,
my fields are fallow.
264
00:11:53,498 --> 00:11:56,166
Look,
I'm at a stage in life
265
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,534
where I want to settle down.
266
00:11:57,569 --> 00:11:59,770
And let's be honest,
you're not.
267
00:11:59,804 --> 00:12:02,072
Marry me, Joy.
268
00:12:02,106 --> 00:12:04,407
What?
269
00:12:04,441 --> 00:12:06,108
Who cares if your fields
are fallow?
270
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,276
We can always adopt.
271
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:10,045
I can't marry you,
Lloyd, because...
272
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,680
I'm already married.
273
00:12:11,714 --> 00:12:13,448
To Victoria Chase,
the actress.
274
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,183
The one who played
Amanda Bynes's mom
275
00:12:15,217 --> 00:12:16,918
in Switcheroo Summer?
276
00:12:16,952 --> 00:12:18,419
Maybe.
277
00:12:18,454 --> 00:12:20,922
Sure.
I don't know.
278
00:12:20,956 --> 00:12:23,558
We can fix this.
You can get a quick divorce.
279
00:12:23,592 --> 00:12:26,394
My little brother's
an attorney.
280
00:12:26,428 --> 00:12:28,195
Then we can get married--
281
00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:30,564
Shouldn't you get that?
It could be an emergency.
282
00:12:30,598 --> 00:12:32,533
You know how sometimes
you page your doctor,
283
00:12:32,567 --> 00:12:33,767
- and he's not available?
- Yeah.
284
00:12:33,801 --> 00:12:37,871
He's always available.
285
00:12:38,940 --> 00:12:40,574
So if I sign
the divorce papers,
286
00:12:40,608 --> 00:12:42,776
you'll help me convince Emmett
to appear on my reality show?
287
00:12:42,811 --> 00:12:44,911
- Exactly.
- Done.
288
00:12:44,946 --> 00:12:46,814
Oh, fantastic.
289
00:12:46,848 --> 00:12:48,015
So how soon can your lawyers
send them?
290
00:12:48,049 --> 00:12:49,450
No, no.
I'm mean, done-done.
291
00:12:49,484 --> 00:12:50,651
I signed them years ago.
292
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:51,886
It's Emmett
that hasn't signed them.
293
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,254
What?
294
00:12:53,288 --> 00:12:55,256
So it's Emmett
who doesn't want the divorce?
295
00:12:55,290 --> 00:12:57,758
Look,
Sir God's gift to women
296
00:12:57,793 --> 00:12:58,826
has a pattern.
297
00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:01,562
He becomes infatuated
with a woman,
298
00:13:01,597 --> 00:13:05,666
makes passionate,
actor-y love to her.
299
00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:06,967
And the moment
she starts
300
00:13:07,002 --> 00:13:08,469
hinting around
for a commitment,
301
00:13:08,503 --> 00:13:10,437
he drops the bomb
that he's still married.
302
00:13:10,472 --> 00:13:12,039
I'm his get-out-of-love
free card.
303
00:13:12,073 --> 00:13:14,375
Hmm.
I don't believe you.
304
00:13:14,409 --> 00:13:15,943
If I weren't
his safety net,
305
00:13:15,977 --> 00:13:19,947
why on earth
would he keep me around?
306
00:13:19,981 --> 00:13:22,116
Oh, God.
307
00:13:22,150 --> 00:13:23,584
You're right.
308
00:13:23,619 --> 00:13:26,421
On the upside,
when he dumps someone,
309
00:13:26,455 --> 00:13:27,955
there's always
a Cartier box
310
00:13:27,990 --> 00:13:30,892
with a gorgeous diamond watch
or an anklet inside.
311
00:13:30,926 --> 00:13:32,527
What,
so I give him my heart,
312
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:33,962
and he gives me an anklet?
313
00:13:33,996 --> 00:13:35,831
Look,
maybe I'm wrong this time.
314
00:13:35,865 --> 00:13:38,099
I mean, he does seem
to genuinely care for you
315
00:13:38,134 --> 00:13:39,468
more than any
of the others.
316
00:13:39,502 --> 00:13:41,102
- Really?
- Yeah.
317
00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:44,606
You'll probably rate
at least a necklace.
318
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:49,745
Anyway, you'll still talk Emmett
into coming on my show, right?
319
00:13:49,779 --> 00:13:51,480
'Cause if you don't,
320
00:13:51,515 --> 00:13:54,917
I will cut you
like bad bangs, bitch.
321
00:13:57,054 --> 00:14:01,225
Aren't I perfect
for True Housewives?
322
00:14:15,831 --> 00:14:17,465
His grandmother's
favorite movie
323
00:14:17,499 --> 00:14:19,634
was Say Anything...
324
00:14:20,668 --> 00:14:21,402
I'm depressed enough.
325
00:14:21,436 --> 00:14:24,236
Do we have to listen
to that song over and over?
326
00:14:24,271 --> 00:14:29,108
Joy, go talk
to your 12-year-old boyfriend.
327
00:14:29,142 --> 00:14:30,676
He's not 12.
328
00:14:30,710 --> 00:14:33,445
He was six years ago.
329
00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:35,983
Fine,
I'll go talk to him.
330
00:14:38,552 --> 00:14:40,787
Oh, I wish I could talk
to Emmett.
331
00:14:40,821 --> 00:14:41,854
Victoria,
you have to.
332
00:14:41,889 --> 00:14:43,423
You have to have
the conversation.
333
00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:44,724
She's right.
334
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:47,327
It's the not knowing
that's killing you.
335
00:14:47,361 --> 00:14:49,095
Well said,
little mother.
336
00:14:49,630 --> 00:14:53,467
I would give anything
to talk to my wife again.
337
00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:57,103
Oh, I forgot.
Anyone taping The Voice?
338
00:15:01,008 --> 00:15:02,943
I know you think
that what you're feeling now
339
00:15:02,977 --> 00:15:05,511
you'll feel forever,
but believe me, you won't.
340
00:15:06,046 --> 00:15:09,080
You think it's destiny,
but it's just biology.
341
00:15:09,115 --> 00:15:11,250
And once the sex endorphins
wear off,
342
00:15:11,284 --> 00:15:12,852
you'll come
to your senses.
343
00:15:12,886 --> 00:15:15,154
Do you understand me,
Lloyd?
344
00:15:15,188 --> 00:15:18,524
I love you.
345
00:15:18,558 --> 00:15:22,361
I love you so much.
346
00:15:23,796 --> 00:15:25,430
Look, Emmett,
the last thing
347
00:15:25,465 --> 00:15:28,066
I wanted was to have
this conversation,
348
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:31,136
but the truth is,
I don't want you to be married
349
00:15:31,170 --> 00:15:33,772
because I don't want
that position to be filled.
350
00:15:33,806 --> 00:15:36,842
Now that I'm looking
for anything right now.
351
00:15:36,877 --> 00:15:41,915
It's just I want that
to at least be a possibility.
352
00:15:41,949 --> 00:15:44,418
Well,
I'd be a bit of an idiot
353
00:15:44,452 --> 00:15:46,720
if I hadn't seen
this conversation coming.
354
00:15:46,755 --> 00:15:50,892
Victoria,
I have something for you.
355
00:15:52,028 --> 00:15:53,962
Jewelry.
356
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,764
Darling,
you look so sad.
357
00:15:56,798 --> 00:15:59,833
Yeah,
because I am sad.
358
00:15:59,867 --> 00:16:02,469
I'm devastated.
359
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:04,638
You said
you loved me.
360
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:05,840
When did I say that?
361
00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:09,943
In Venice when I hiding in--
never mind.
362
00:16:09,978 --> 00:16:12,579
When you were hiding
in the room service cart
363
00:16:12,614 --> 00:16:13,947
in my hotel room.
364
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:17,652
- You knew?
- I smelled your perfume.
365
00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:18,853
I didn't say anything
366
00:16:18,888 --> 00:16:20,756
because I didn't want
to embarrass you.
367
00:16:21,590 --> 00:16:23,125
I know you,
Victoria.
368
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,062
Yeah, well, then you should
know that I don't want this.
369
00:16:26,096 --> 00:16:27,599
Just open it.
370
00:16:31,970 --> 00:16:35,339
The last page
of my divorce papers, signed.
371
00:16:35,374 --> 00:16:37,041
Oh, Emmett.
372
00:16:40,812 --> 00:16:44,948
Oh, what made you
change your mind?
373
00:16:44,982 --> 00:16:48,485
Having Nikki around
reminded me
374
00:16:48,519 --> 00:16:50,287
how different things
are with you.
375
00:16:50,322 --> 00:16:51,922
And I realized that
on some level,
376
00:16:51,957 --> 00:16:54,091
I'm using this technicality
to get out of things
377
00:16:54,126 --> 00:16:56,627
with women
I didn't really care about.
378
00:16:56,661 --> 00:16:59,930
But you, Victoria,
you have changed everything.
379
00:16:59,965 --> 00:17:01,265
And Nikki?
380
00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:03,667
Oh,
I have agreed to call
381
00:17:03,701 --> 00:17:06,737
at the precise moment
that Stacy's implant explodes.
382
00:17:06,771 --> 00:17:09,173
Whoa.
Oh, that's gonna be a good one.
383
00:17:09,207 --> 00:17:12,911
I mean, you know, for the people
who watch those shows.
384
00:17:13,946 --> 00:17:16,014
Oh, Emmett,
thank you.
385
00:17:16,048 --> 00:17:19,417
Nothing in the world
is more valuable than this gift.
386
00:17:19,451 --> 00:17:21,221
There's something else
in there.
387
00:17:28,393 --> 00:17:30,328
So many diamonds.
388
00:17:30,362 --> 00:17:32,196
Oh, Emmett.
389
00:17:32,230 --> 00:17:34,031
Like I said, Victoria,
390
00:17:34,466 --> 00:17:36,367
I know you.
391
00:17:40,187 --> 00:17:41,487
Yat. Yee. Yan.
392
00:17:41,522 --> 00:17:43,488
I win again!
393
00:17:43,523 --> 00:17:45,523
You are terrible at poker.
394
00:17:45,988 --> 00:17:48,422
We're playing poker?
395
00:17:48,457 --> 00:17:51,192
I thought he was doing
a magic trick.
396
00:17:53,428 --> 00:17:56,063
Oh, it's my wife.
She's come to pick me up.
397
00:17:56,247 --> 00:17:57,647
Your wife?
She came back?
398
00:17:57,681 --> 00:17:59,048
Yes, she's back.
399
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:01,684
Hey, Fado.
400
00:18:01,718 --> 00:18:05,020
Everybody,
this is my wife Fado.
401
00:18:05,055 --> 00:18:06,388
Oh, please come in,
Fado.
402
00:18:06,422 --> 00:18:07,389
- Fado.
- Fado.
403
00:18:07,423 --> 00:18:08,823
- Fado.
- Fado.
404
00:18:08,857 --> 00:18:09,824
It's okay.
405
00:18:09,858 --> 00:18:12,259
A lot of Americans
have trouble.
406
00:18:12,293 --> 00:18:14,895
We're so happy
you came back to him.
407
00:18:14,929 --> 00:18:16,396
Of course
I came back.
408
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:18,197
I was just away for a girls'
weekend with my daughter.
409
00:18:18,232 --> 00:18:20,999
You told us
your wife left you.
410
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:25,804
She did.
I was so lonely.
411
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,505
I know what it's like
to be lonely.
412
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:28,673
Take me back, Joy.
413
00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:31,042
Oh, Lloyd.
414
00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:33,777
Joy, allow me.
415
00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:35,912
There is a famous story
in my country
416
00:18:35,947 --> 00:18:38,782
about a young,
handsome prince
417
00:18:38,816 --> 00:18:42,718
that falls in love
with an old crone.
418
00:18:42,753 --> 00:18:44,720
I beg your pardon.
419
00:18:44,755 --> 00:18:47,423
Yeesha, be quiet.
420
00:18:47,457 --> 00:18:51,326
Sorry, Yeesha is the name
of the old crone.
421
00:18:51,361 --> 00:18:54,063
So the old crone
cast a spell
422
00:18:54,097 --> 00:18:56,966
that is only broken
when the prince meets
423
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,735
an age-appropriate princess.
424
00:18:58,769 --> 00:19:01,805
Make the longer story short,
425
00:19:01,839 --> 00:19:05,575
this is the picture
of my daughter, Madison.
426
00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:07,143
She's very beautiful.
427
00:19:07,178 --> 00:19:09,579
- Ye'arj, he's a stranger.
- He's a doctor.
428
00:19:09,613 --> 00:19:13,784
Come to dinner at our house.
We'll introduce you.
429
00:19:13,818 --> 00:19:14,985
Good call.
430
00:19:15,419 --> 00:19:18,221
He's practically a virgin.
431
00:19:19,957 --> 00:19:23,160
He's only been
with Yeesha.
432
00:19:24,995 --> 00:19:25,995
Joy.
433
00:19:26,529 --> 00:19:29,065
Goodbye, Lloyd,
and good luck.
434
00:19:29,099 --> 00:19:32,168
Well, thank you
for your hospitality.
435
00:19:32,202 --> 00:19:35,171
Oh, here.
Take this wine.
436
00:19:35,206 --> 00:19:38,508
Oh, but it's addressed
to the Thompsons.
437
00:19:38,543 --> 00:19:41,845
Oh, you know how sometimes
you forget to tip the mailman,
438
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,383
and you think
it doesn't matter?
439
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:47,451
Yeah.
440
00:19:47,485 --> 00:19:49,821
It always matters.
441
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:55,821
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
442
00:19:55,871 --> 00:20:00,421
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
31657
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.