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1
00:00:08,796 --> 00:00:11,998
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:12,532 --> 00:00:15,301
Say, "Nana."
3
00:00:15,336 --> 00:00:18,025
Say, "Nana," Wilbur.
Na-na.
4
00:00:18,409 --> 00:00:21,742
It's official.
Men of all ages ignore you.
5
00:00:23,035 --> 00:00:25,328
Look, some of the other babies
in Wilbur's play group
6
00:00:25,363 --> 00:00:27,196
have already started talking.
7
00:00:27,230 --> 00:00:28,599
Actually, I was getting
a little embarrassed,
8
00:00:28,634 --> 00:00:30,371
so I knocked a few months
off his age.
9
00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:33,039
You lied about a baby's age?
10
00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:35,702
Oh, I wish my mother
had done that for me.
11
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:39,069
But no, I'm a self-made
thirtysomething.
12
00:00:40,397 --> 00:00:43,730
Okay, everybody!
How do I look?
13
00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:46,933
You're giving off a Joy vibe.
14
00:00:46,967 --> 00:00:48,531
Oh, no, I don't want
to look that slutty.
15
00:00:48,565 --> 00:00:49,965
Hey!
16
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,333
She said it.
17
00:00:53,368 --> 00:00:55,302
Anyway, I want to look
a little slutty.
18
00:00:55,336 --> 00:00:57,069
Tonight's the big night
with Alec.
19
00:00:57,103 --> 00:00:58,170
And it has to be perfect.
20
00:00:58,204 --> 00:01:00,237
I have to be perfect.
21
00:01:00,271 --> 00:01:03,604
So I spent all day getting
prepped and tweezed and waxed.
22
00:01:03,641 --> 00:01:06,677
My whole body's as smooth
as a porpoise.
23
00:01:06,711 --> 00:01:10,044
Oh, hi, Emmet.
I didn't know you were here.
24
00:01:10,246 --> 00:01:11,580
No need for embarrassment.
25
00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:14,947
Go on, you were saying
you're as smooth as a porpoise.
26
00:01:15,851 --> 00:01:17,151
Men like that, right?
27
00:01:17,185 --> 00:01:19,052
Well, it all depends.
28
00:01:19,086 --> 00:01:21,587
Sometimes you like
the tightly-mowed lawn
29
00:01:21,622 --> 00:01:24,822
of an English country garden.
And sometimes,
30
00:01:24,857 --> 00:01:28,190
you like the steamy jungle
of the Amazon rainforest.
31
00:01:28,592 --> 00:01:31,394
Oh, no.
What if Alec's an Amazon guy,
32
00:01:31,428 --> 00:01:34,096
and I destroyed the rainforest?
33
00:01:34,130 --> 00:01:36,564
Oh, men are not nearly
as judgmental as you think.
34
00:01:36,598 --> 00:01:39,534
We care more about response
and enthusiasm.
35
00:01:39,568 --> 00:01:42,901
If you like the show,
let us know.
36
00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:46,040
Especially if you want
an encore.
37
00:01:46,074 --> 00:01:47,641
Oh!
38
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,643
I am so nervous.
I can't stand it.
39
00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:52,244
That's just stage fright.
You'll be brilliant.
40
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,546
[Sighs]
Bye.
41
00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:55,914
She's a mess.
42
00:01:55,948 --> 00:01:57,581
Well, we should head out
as well.
43
00:01:57,615 --> 00:01:59,716
We have to be
on the set by 8:00 p.m.
44
00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:01,084
I'm so excited.
45
00:02:01,118 --> 00:02:03,086
I'm gonna be in
a Woody Allen movie.
46
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,287
Well, I know I'm just an extra,
47
00:02:04,321 --> 00:02:06,656
but I've never been
in a movie before.
48
00:02:06,690 --> 00:02:07,957
Darling, just stand where
you're supposed to stand
49
00:02:07,991 --> 00:02:10,560
- and don't say anything.
- Especially to the stars.
50
00:02:10,594 --> 00:02:12,862
- Well, I can talk to you.
- Oh, no.
51
00:02:12,896 --> 00:02:14,397
No, if you even make
eye contact with me,
52
00:02:14,431 --> 00:02:17,399
I'll have to have you physically
tossed off the set.
53
00:02:17,434 --> 00:02:20,735
I think it's some sort
of union thing.
54
00:02:20,769 --> 00:02:22,236
- Ah! Limo's here.
- Ooh.
55
00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:24,739
A limo.
56
00:02:24,773 --> 00:02:28,106
Fine, I'll drive myself.
57
00:02:28,243 --> 00:02:29,777
Okay, you two are
in charge of Wilbur.
58
00:02:29,961 --> 00:02:31,061
You know the rules.
59
00:02:31,095 --> 00:02:33,730
Absolutely no TV,
and no baby talk.
60
00:02:33,765 --> 00:02:35,565
We promise.
61
00:02:35,599 --> 00:02:38,932
Actually, everything you say
it sounds like baby talk.
62
00:02:39,203 --> 00:02:41,203
Any way you can butch
it up a bit?
63
00:02:41,238 --> 00:02:44,240
[Deep voice] Will do.
64
00:02:44,274 --> 00:02:47,076
Bye, Wilbur.
Say, "Nana."
65
00:02:47,110 --> 00:02:48,744
- Nana.
- [Coos]
66
00:02:48,778 --> 00:02:51,446
I'm just hoping
his first words will be "Nana."
67
00:02:51,481 --> 00:02:54,814
I'll see you later.
68
00:02:55,251 --> 00:02:58,584
A little TV is not gonna hurt
you, right, Wilbur?
69
00:02:59,354 --> 00:03:02,687
TV!
70
00:03:06,127 --> 00:03:09,460
Uhoh.
[Deep voice] I mean, uh-oh.
71
00:03:12,083 --> 00:03:15,052
[Upbeat theme music]
72
00:03:15,086 --> 00:03:18,419
Ba ba bah ba ba ba bah ba
Sync, corrected by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
73
00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:20,090
Sync, corrected by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
74
00:03:20,091 --> 00:03:21,258
Hey!
Sync, corrected by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
75
00:03:21,542 --> 00:03:24,875
Action!
76
00:03:25,812 --> 00:03:27,046
Cut.
77
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,881
- Liam.
- Joy.
78
00:03:29,916 --> 00:03:31,817
You're very good.
Completely in the moment.
79
00:03:31,851 --> 00:03:33,919
Thanks.
I'm a bit nervous.
80
00:03:33,953 --> 00:03:35,787
- Never been an extra before.
- Hmm.
81
00:03:35,822 --> 00:03:37,656
Though I did play
Oscar Madison
82
00:03:37,690 --> 00:03:39,924
in my high school production
of The Odd Couple.
83
00:03:39,959 --> 00:03:43,292
- Oh, all-girl school?
- No.
84
00:03:44,097 --> 00:03:46,531
Roll cameras again.
85
00:03:46,565 --> 00:03:49,898
Action.
86
00:03:50,301 --> 00:03:51,733
Cut.
87
00:03:51,767 --> 00:03:53,928
I know you from somewhere.
88
00:03:53,963 --> 00:03:56,620
Well, when I was a teenager,
I was the star of a little show
89
00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:59,586
called the Boomerang Gang.
I was the chubby one.
90
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:02,953
My catchphrase was,
[Panting] "Wait up, you guys."
91
00:04:04,487 --> 00:04:06,686
I remember that show.
It was on in England.
92
00:04:06,721 --> 00:04:10,054
Oh, I had the biggest crush
on... you.
93
00:04:11,287 --> 00:04:13,207
You were gonna say
Roddy McNichol, weren't you?
94
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:14,787
- No.
- And now he's fat
95
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:17,187
and I'm skinny,
how about that?
96
00:04:17,220 --> 00:04:18,586
So anyway, when the show ended
97
00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:20,586
I quit the business
to find myself.
98
00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:23,320
And I found myself sorry that
I quit the business.
99
00:04:23,354 --> 00:04:24,720
I was totally broke.
100
00:04:24,754 --> 00:04:27,353
And now I'm just clawing
my way back in.
101
00:04:27,388 --> 00:04:29,121
So who gave you this gig?
102
00:04:29,155 --> 00:04:32,387
Oh, a friend of mine.
But I'm not allowed to say who.
103
00:04:32,421 --> 00:04:34,387
This movie has really
dialed up her diva.
104
00:04:34,422 --> 00:04:35,621
- Oh.
- How about you?
105
00:04:35,656 --> 00:04:37,221
Well, I'm not allowed
to say either,
106
00:04:37,256 --> 00:04:38,822
even though I'm the one
who got his career started
107
00:04:38,856 --> 00:04:40,555
in the first place.
Ungrateful sod.
108
00:04:40,590 --> 00:04:43,188
Well, then.
I don't like him.
109
00:04:43,222 --> 00:04:46,123
Well, then I like you.
Do you want to go out tonight?
110
00:04:46,157 --> 00:04:48,890
Oh, I don't know.
We just met.
111
00:04:48,924 --> 00:04:50,257
Action.
112
00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:52,257
Cut.
113
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:54,157
Okay.
114
00:04:59,126 --> 00:05:01,558
Wow!
115
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:02,925
That was--
116
00:05:04,092 --> 00:05:05,225
You are--
117
00:05:06,159 --> 00:05:09,492
I mean, you hope.
118
00:05:09,826 --> 00:05:11,358
And you picture.
119
00:05:11,892 --> 00:05:14,191
But you.
120
00:05:15,726 --> 00:05:17,559
Wow!
121
00:05:19,094 --> 00:05:22,427
- You fake-porned him?
- I fake-porned him.
122
00:05:22,927 --> 00:05:25,660
- Why?
- I panicked!
123
00:05:25,694 --> 00:05:27,560
Emmet said,
"men like enthusiasm,"
124
00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:28,561
so I went a little overboard.
125
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:29,727
I mean, I was like
126
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:33,095
someone reviewing their
own business on Yelp.
127
00:05:34,496 --> 00:05:36,462
You set the sex bar
way too high.
128
00:05:36,496 --> 00:05:37,928
I know!
129
00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:40,124
And now he's gonna expect
fake-porn Melanie every time.
130
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,795
I'm gonna be so busy
putting on a show
131
00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:44,629
that I won't be able
to relax and enjoy it!
132
00:05:45,463 --> 00:05:47,762
And you can't go back.
It's like tipping.
133
00:05:47,797 --> 00:05:50,796
Once you go 30%,
you can't go back to 20%.
134
00:05:50,830 --> 00:05:51,896
You have to fake
your own death
135
00:05:51,931 --> 00:05:53,630
and find a new manicurist.
136
00:05:53,665 --> 00:05:56,331
[Phone beeps]
137
00:05:56,366 --> 00:05:58,732
Ooh, it's my co-star
from the restaurant scene.
138
00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:00,299
We made a date.
139
00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:03,666
Joy, you don't date extras.
That's like dating scenery.
140
00:06:05,334 --> 00:06:08,667
Well, passing over lightly
that I'm an extra,
141
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:10,668
I like Liam
and I'm going out with him.
142
00:06:10,702 --> 00:06:13,668
Liam? Oh, no, no, no.
You definitely cannot date him.
143
00:06:13,702 --> 00:06:15,169
Liam is Emmet's brother.
144
00:06:15,203 --> 00:06:16,736
His brother?
145
00:06:16,770 --> 00:06:20,004
So Emmet's the ungrateful
bastard who stole Liam's career?
146
00:06:20,038 --> 00:06:23,371
No, Liam is the bitter
has-been who resents
147
00:06:23,806 --> 00:06:26,772
Emmet's talent and success.
148
00:06:26,806 --> 00:06:29,339
Now you may not know this,
but after "The Boomerang Gang,"
149
00:06:29,373 --> 00:06:32,706
Liam dedicated himself
to having a good time.
150
00:06:32,741 --> 00:06:34,640
He was finding himself.
151
00:06:34,675 --> 00:06:36,374
Well, he should have known
from "The Boomerang Gang"
152
00:06:36,408 --> 00:06:39,741
that what goes around,
comes around.
153
00:06:40,541 --> 00:06:42,474
Liam was too drunk
to go to an audition,
154
00:06:42,508 --> 00:06:45,841
so Emmet read his part
and they liked him so much
155
00:06:46,009 --> 00:06:48,509
they rewrote the role,
and a star was born.
156
00:06:48,543 --> 00:06:51,110
So, Emmet did steal
Liam's career.
157
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,543
If that's what you're taking
from this story, Joy,
158
00:06:53,578 --> 00:06:56,911
then you really have no business
being in show business.
159
00:06:57,379 --> 00:06:58,645
Well, maybe not.
160
00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:01,012
But you still can't dictate
who I go out with.
161
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:03,646
But surely you see
how awkward it would be.
162
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,446
Both of us dating
feuding brothers?
163
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,113
Am I right, Melanie?
164
00:07:07,147 --> 00:07:10,347
Oh, it never works out
when I take sides.
165
00:07:10,381 --> 00:07:13,581
Oh, come on, don't be a wimp.
Just tell us what you think.
166
00:07:13,615 --> 00:07:16,948
- I think Joy has a point.
- Who asked you?
167
00:07:17,682 --> 00:07:19,381
I'm going to get ready
for my date.
168
00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:22,382
Me too.
I'm seeing Alec again tonight.
169
00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:25,151
But this time I'm just gonna
try to relax and not fake it,
170
00:07:25,184 --> 00:07:27,918
because at the end of the day,
men want something real,
171
00:07:27,953 --> 00:07:30,552
not some over-exaggerated
sex doll, right?
172
00:07:30,686 --> 00:07:34,019
[Panting] Wow.
173
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,620
I mean, seriously.
174
00:07:37,154 --> 00:07:39,154
Are you from circus folk?
175
00:07:39,189 --> 00:07:42,521
Because that was insane.
176
00:07:42,556 --> 00:07:45,889
I had no idea
you were double-jointed.
177
00:07:46,057 --> 00:07:48,823
Neither did I.
178
00:07:48,858 --> 00:07:51,159
You said you weren't gonna
fake-porn him anymore.
179
00:07:51,193 --> 00:07:53,064
I know,
but I got a leg cramp,
180
00:07:53,099 --> 00:07:56,432
and I screamed really loud
and he got into it.
181
00:07:57,045 --> 00:07:59,079
So I went even more overboard
than last time.
182
00:07:59,114 --> 00:08:02,447
So now the sex bar
has been raised really high!
183
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:05,052
To which I say, brava!
184
00:08:05,086 --> 00:08:06,587
A performer can never
be satisfied.
185
00:08:06,621 --> 00:08:08,555
But I'm not a performer.
186
00:08:08,590 --> 00:08:10,290
I'm just a nice,
ordinary girl
187
00:08:10,325 --> 00:08:13,658
who wants
a nice, ordinary orgasm.
188
00:08:13,862 --> 00:08:15,363
Excellent exit line.
189
00:08:15,397 --> 00:08:16,998
Only, next time toss off
the word "orgasm"
190
00:08:17,032 --> 00:08:18,833
don't make such a meal of it.
191
00:08:18,868 --> 00:08:21,569
You know, I'm just gonna tell
Alec the truth at work today.
192
00:08:22,004 --> 00:08:24,937
That's a terrible exit line.
193
00:08:25,341 --> 00:08:27,709
In her defense,
it does make the audience wonder
194
00:08:27,743 --> 00:08:29,043
what's gonna happen next.
195
00:08:29,078 --> 00:08:31,546
- Yeah.
- It's an interesting choice.
196
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,824
You know,
we may be extras on the set,
197
00:08:37,858 --> 00:08:39,659
but we are not
extras in their lives.
198
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:42,061
I know. How dare Emmet say
that I can't see you?
199
00:08:42,096 --> 00:08:44,230
Or Victoria say
I can't see you.
200
00:08:44,264 --> 00:08:46,199
We should see each other
because we like each other
201
00:08:46,233 --> 00:08:47,466
and we have a lot in common.
202
00:08:47,501 --> 00:08:50,834
Like our resentment
for Victoria and Emmet.
203
00:08:51,138 --> 00:08:53,772
Not that resentment is
a good basis for a relationship.
204
00:08:53,807 --> 00:08:54,907
Oh, right.
205
00:08:54,941 --> 00:08:56,108
Resentment will
keep you together for what,
206
00:08:56,142 --> 00:08:57,242
14, 15 years tops?
207
00:09:01,181 --> 00:09:02,248
[Sighs]
Hello, Emmet.
208
00:09:02,282 --> 00:09:03,949
[Door closes]
Victoria.
209
00:09:03,984 --> 00:09:07,287
- Liam, Joy.
- Victoria, Emmet.
210
00:09:07,321 --> 00:09:09,789
Joy, Liam.
211
00:09:09,824 --> 00:09:10,923
[Dog barks]
212
00:09:10,924 --> 00:09:12,857
Chance.
213
00:09:14,829 --> 00:09:17,897
What a surprise seeing you out
here after what we discussed.
214
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,933
What a surprise that
you would be surprised
215
00:09:19,967 --> 00:09:21,668
that you're not
the boss of me.
216
00:09:21,702 --> 00:09:24,137
And what a surprise
that you're dating
217
00:09:24,171 --> 00:09:25,438
my girlfriend's girlfriend
218
00:09:25,472 --> 00:09:27,740
just so that you can
constantly be in my orbit.
219
00:09:27,774 --> 00:09:29,808
Yet it's no surprise
that you think
220
00:09:29,843 --> 00:09:31,477
you're the center
of the universe.
221
00:09:31,511 --> 00:09:34,246
Well, the Melbourne
planetarium certainly thought so
222
00:09:34,281 --> 00:09:37,614
when they chose me to be
the voice of the Big Bang.
223
00:09:38,152 --> 00:09:40,153
- It's a good exit line.
- It was, wasn't it?
224
00:09:40,187 --> 00:09:43,520
- Mm.
- Let's go.
225
00:09:43,925 --> 00:09:45,091
Insufferable.
226
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,726
You know, if we wanted
to get back at them--
227
00:09:46,761 --> 00:09:48,195
Oh, I don't want
to get back at her.
228
00:09:48,229 --> 00:09:49,796
She's my best friend.
229
00:09:49,831 --> 00:09:51,865
But do go on.
230
00:09:52,399 --> 00:09:53,967
There's a little trick
we extras have
231
00:09:54,002 --> 00:09:55,335
called "stealing focus."
232
00:09:55,370 --> 00:09:56,770
I'll explain it to you
on the way to the set.
233
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,874
Is it doing something
distracting so you steal focus?
234
00:09:59,908 --> 00:10:01,348
Okay, we'll talk about
something else
235
00:10:01,376 --> 00:10:04,709
on the way to the set.
236
00:10:05,247 --> 00:10:09,580
"The barn is blue.
The farmer wears a shoe.
237
00:10:10,052 --> 00:10:11,720
The cow says..."
238
00:10:11,754 --> 00:10:15,087
TV.
239
00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:18,657
This isn't working.
The kid's a broken record.
240
00:10:19,962 --> 00:10:21,128
What are you doing?
241
00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:23,830
I want to see how it ends.
242
00:10:23,865 --> 00:10:26,300
Will you put that down?
243
00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:28,470
- We have to fix this.
- You're right.
244
00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:31,837
If Joy finds out, she'll never
let us babysit again.
245
00:10:32,434 --> 00:10:34,832
And I love hanging out
with Wilbur.
246
00:10:35,366 --> 00:10:38,199
He gets me.
247
00:10:38,268 --> 00:10:41,601
Let's get him to say something
that sounds like "TV."
248
00:10:42,201 --> 00:10:45,534
How about TB.?
249
00:10:45,759 --> 00:10:49,092
Tuberculosis?
Really?
250
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,973
- How about TD.?
- Like touchdown?
251
00:10:53,641 --> 00:10:54,940
- Mm.
- Perfect!
252
00:10:54,975 --> 00:10:58,308
We can say we took him
to a Browns game.
253
00:10:59,043 --> 00:11:02,376
That would require the Browns
scoring a touchdown, but...
254
00:11:03,008 --> 00:11:06,271
Well-- oh--
TD.
255
00:11:06,305 --> 00:11:09,257
TV!
256
00:11:09,292 --> 00:11:12,440
Oh, crap,
this isn't working.
257
00:11:12,475 --> 00:11:13,808
Crap.
258
00:11:17,118 --> 00:11:18,841
Elka, watch your language.
259
00:11:18,875 --> 00:11:20,308
Bitch.
260
00:11:24,096 --> 00:11:28,229
I may have whispered that when
you ate the last Mint Milano.
261
00:11:31,037 --> 00:11:33,928
Another amazing presentation.
Unbelievable!
262
00:11:33,962 --> 00:11:36,911
I-I mean, you're the best.
You're the absolute best.
263
00:11:36,945 --> 00:11:40,199
So, why don't we go
to your place and celebrate?
264
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,560
Melanie, have a seat.
265
00:11:42,294 --> 00:11:44,927
This seems like a good time
to say that like any guy,
266
00:11:45,140 --> 00:11:48,473
I love praise, but I'm releasing
you from having to go overboard.
267
00:11:49,284 --> 00:11:50,973
Whatwhat do you mean?
268
00:11:51,007 --> 00:11:53,066
You know, there's praise,
and then there's praise.
269
00:11:53,101 --> 00:11:56,290
Come on.
Nobody is that good.
270
00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:58,447
- Oh, God. You could tell?
- Well...
271
00:11:58,482 --> 00:12:00,106
I was just so nervous
the first time.
272
00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:01,336
I wanted to be
really great,
273
00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:03,960
so I kind of went
all fake porno on you.
274
00:12:07,121 --> 00:12:07,917
I'm sorry?
275
00:12:08,752 --> 00:12:11,285
Oh, God. You were talking
about work, weren't you?
276
00:12:12,772 --> 00:12:15,605
You faked it with me?
Both times?
277
00:12:17,297 --> 00:12:18,091
Lock the door.
278
00:12:18,126 --> 00:12:19,389
Wait, here? Now?
279
00:12:19,424 --> 00:12:20,780
Well, we can't
go to my place.
280
00:12:20,815 --> 00:12:24,148
The workmen are still repairing
the hole you kicked in the wall.
281
00:12:27,302 --> 00:12:30,458
And action.
282
00:12:30,493 --> 00:12:32,024
Oh, darling.
283
00:12:32,058 --> 00:12:35,391
Have there ever been
two people more in love?
284
00:12:40,688 --> 00:12:41,952
Cut!
285
00:12:41,986 --> 00:12:44,677
'Scuse me, uh,
Mr. Sir Lawson?
286
00:12:44,711 --> 00:12:45,941
You can't say, "cut."
287
00:12:45,976 --> 00:12:47,804
You're not Woody Allen.
Who are you?
288
00:12:47,838 --> 00:12:50,797
It's me Gary,
the assistant director.
289
00:12:50,832 --> 00:12:52,429
I call you every night,
we talk about your scenes.
290
00:12:52,464 --> 00:12:55,797
No, I talk
to Woody every--
291
00:12:56,686 --> 00:12:59,482
Oh, dear God.
292
00:12:59,666 --> 00:13:02,823
Well, Gary, these extras
293
00:13:02,858 --> 00:13:05,950
are pulling focus
with their gratuitous business.
294
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:08,213
It's not gratuitous,
it's part of our backstory.
295
00:13:08,248 --> 00:13:09,211
We're getting married.
296
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:12,579
Maybe you two
should congratulate us.
297
00:13:12,904 --> 00:13:15,433
Extras don't need
a backstory
298
00:13:15,467 --> 00:13:17,596
any more
than the salt shaker.
299
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:18,791
How was your childhood?
300
00:13:18,825 --> 00:13:20,887
Did you labor
in the salt mines?
301
00:13:20,919 --> 00:13:22,483
[Laughing]
302
00:13:22,519 --> 00:13:23,583
That's funny.
303
00:13:24,118 --> 00:13:25,346
No, it's not, Victoria.
304
00:13:25,381 --> 00:13:27,175
Gary, would you
please remind Joy
305
00:13:27,210 --> 00:13:29,936
that extras are not
to address the stars?
306
00:13:29,970 --> 00:13:33,303
Anything for you, Victoria.
Best 2 1/2 minutes of my life.
307
00:13:33,862 --> 00:13:37,195
- Again, I apologize.
- It was fine.
308
00:13:38,087 --> 00:13:39,748
Gary, I have an idea.
309
00:13:39,783 --> 00:13:41,381
Why don't you move them
to this table over here?
310
00:13:41,415 --> 00:13:42,646
We won't even
be on camera.
311
00:13:42,677 --> 00:13:44,308
You should be
used to that by now.
312
00:13:44,342 --> 00:13:45,737
You bloody bastard.
313
00:13:45,772 --> 00:13:48,899
I refuse to be banished
to cinematic Siberia.
314
00:13:48,933 --> 00:13:50,464
Victoria, do something.
315
00:13:50,498 --> 00:13:52,127
Oh, I'm sorry, Joy,
do I know you?
316
00:13:52,161 --> 00:13:55,494
For God sakes, Victoria,
you just called me Joy.
317
00:13:56,717 --> 00:13:59,911
Are you really going to
side with Emmet over me?
318
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,903
Oh, darling.
319
00:14:03,938 --> 00:14:06,267
Have there ever been
two people more in love?
320
00:14:06,301 --> 00:14:09,634
[Groans, hacking]
321
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:13,617
[Coughs]
322
00:14:19,537 --> 00:14:21,077
Well, there you have it.
323
00:14:21,105 --> 00:14:24,438
Un-faked, straight-up,
real deal sex.
324
00:14:25,391 --> 00:14:27,526
So nice.
325
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,181
You miss the fake porn,
don't you?
326
00:14:32,266 --> 00:14:33,499
No.
327
00:14:33,534 --> 00:14:36,167
No, of course not.
Nice is good.
328
00:14:38,305 --> 00:14:41,007
Okay, maybe I toned it down
a little bit too much.
329
00:14:41,041 --> 00:14:42,609
I'm sorry, I just--
you know,
330
00:14:42,643 --> 00:14:45,178
I can't get my brain
to turn off and stop thinking.
331
00:14:45,212 --> 00:14:46,912
It's okay, it's okay.
Don't worry about it.
332
00:14:46,947 --> 00:14:48,180
Let's--
let's get back to work.
333
00:14:48,215 --> 00:14:50,682
Right, right, we have to
pick the before photo
334
00:14:50,716 --> 00:14:52,316
for that toenail
fungus cream campaign.
335
00:14:52,351 --> 00:14:53,650
Now, see,
I like this one.
336
00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,786
It's both green,
and it's oozing something green.
337
00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:56,887
Really?
338
00:14:56,921 --> 00:14:59,356
'Cause I like
this yellow, crusty one.
339
00:14:59,390 --> 00:15:00,657
You know, it looks like
it's about to burst.
340
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:01,658
Hmm.
341
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:03,394
- Ooh, there's a good one.
- Mm.
342
00:15:03,428 --> 00:15:06,130
There's hardly
any nail bed left.
343
00:15:11,270 --> 00:15:13,971
- Wow.
- Wow.
344
00:15:14,006 --> 00:15:15,740
- Real?
- Completely.
345
00:15:16,174 --> 00:15:18,009
- You?
- Yeah.
346
00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:20,711
Guys can't really fake it.
347
00:15:20,746 --> 00:15:22,280
Except emotionally.
348
00:15:22,314 --> 00:15:24,682
Not with you.
349
00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:27,352
So, why do you
think this time?
350
00:15:27,386 --> 00:15:29,120
Oh--oh, no.
351
00:15:29,154 --> 00:15:31,623
Do you think it was
the toe fungus?
352
00:15:31,657 --> 00:15:34,990
Do we have some very weird,
specific, shared fetish?
353
00:15:35,627 --> 00:15:38,463
I hope not.
354
00:15:38,497 --> 00:15:40,398
But I could live with that.
That's how good it was.
355
00:15:40,432 --> 00:15:41,699
[Laughs]
356
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,767
You know what?
I think it was the toe fungus.
357
00:15:43,802 --> 00:15:46,370
- Really?
- Yeah, but not in a creepy way.
358
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:49,507
I think it just kind of
humanized the whole thing.
359
00:15:49,541 --> 00:15:51,943
Took perfection
off the table.
360
00:15:51,977 --> 00:15:53,311
You may be right.
361
00:15:53,345 --> 00:15:54,312
Yeah,
we're not porn stars.
362
00:15:54,346 --> 00:15:55,713
Hmm.
363
00:15:55,748 --> 00:15:59,081
We don't have to do anything
filmable or perfect.
364
00:15:59,118 --> 00:16:02,451
We're just two people
who really like each other.
365
00:16:02,656 --> 00:16:05,989
Find each other fascinating
and interesting,
366
00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:09,328
and extremely attractive
in all the right places.
367
00:16:09,362 --> 00:16:12,695
Right, Alec?
368
00:16:15,335 --> 00:16:17,937
Well, that's real.
369
00:16:23,843 --> 00:16:27,176
I take it from the pivot
that you're still upset.
370
00:16:27,747 --> 00:16:28,813
Joy.
371
00:16:28,848 --> 00:16:30,515
Oh, so you do
remember my name.
372
00:16:30,549 --> 00:16:31,950
Oh, come on.
373
00:16:31,984 --> 00:16:35,317
I was just following movie star
protocol vis-a-vis extras.
374
00:16:35,522 --> 00:16:37,823
Movie star protocol?
375
00:16:37,858 --> 00:16:41,127
Do you even hear yourself?
376
00:16:41,161 --> 00:16:43,162
How could you banish me
from the set?
377
00:16:43,197 --> 00:16:44,430
Well, how could I not,
378
00:16:44,465 --> 00:16:46,967
after you and Liam made that
scene during our scene?
379
00:16:47,001 --> 00:16:49,770
You and Emmet deserved it.
You think no one else matters.
380
00:16:49,804 --> 00:16:51,505
Joy...
381
00:16:51,539 --> 00:16:54,808
Come on, you know how much
I value our friendship.
382
00:16:54,842 --> 00:16:57,343
You are the wind
beneath my wings.
383
00:16:57,378 --> 00:16:58,344
Really?
384
00:16:58,379 --> 00:16:59,946
That's how you see me?
385
00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:03,313
Down below, puffing away to keep
your big, old wings aloft?
386
00:17:04,985 --> 00:17:06,453
No, no, no,
I mean like the song.
387
00:17:06,487 --> 00:17:08,588
That is the stupid song!
388
00:17:08,622 --> 00:17:11,291
The singer gets to shine,
'cause the singee
389
00:17:11,325 --> 00:17:13,627
has to walk a step behind,
out of the sunlight,
390
00:17:13,661 --> 00:17:15,629
her beautiful smile
hiding the pain.
391
00:17:15,664 --> 00:17:18,566
Oh, but that's what makes you
my hero--it's a good thing.
392
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,634
[Scoffs] For you!
393
00:17:20,669 --> 00:17:23,170
And you know what?
It's not only this movie.
394
00:17:23,204 --> 00:17:24,772
It's a pattern with us.
395
00:17:24,806 --> 00:17:26,874
I mean, just since
we moved to Cleveland,
396
00:17:26,908 --> 00:17:29,143
you've had me
pretend to be your gay wife,
397
00:17:29,177 --> 00:17:32,279
lie about your fake goiter,
seduce your co-anchor,
398
00:17:32,314 --> 00:17:35,647
poison Susan Lucci!
399
00:17:35,984 --> 00:17:37,785
Need I go on?
400
00:17:37,819 --> 00:17:40,922
Excuse me, but I do not recall
putting a gun to your head.
401
00:17:40,956 --> 00:17:42,890
Well, except for
that one time back in L.A.
402
00:17:42,925 --> 00:17:44,359
When we were
rehearsing that scene
403
00:17:44,393 --> 00:17:46,695
where Honor St. Raven put a gun
to her best friend's head.
404
00:17:46,729 --> 00:17:49,964
And your housekeeper overheard
us and called the police.
405
00:17:49,998 --> 00:17:51,231
I got handcuffed!
406
00:17:51,265 --> 00:17:52,945
Yes, but then we laughed
about it all night
407
00:17:52,967 --> 00:17:55,468
with those handsome officers
who took us to dinner.
408
00:17:56,003 --> 00:17:58,472
Okay, maybe that part was fun.
409
00:17:58,506 --> 00:18:01,839
And poisoning
Susan Lucci was fun.
410
00:18:02,377 --> 00:18:05,710
It was, a little.
411
00:18:06,548 --> 00:18:08,682
Look, Joy, I admit that
412
00:18:08,717 --> 00:18:12,050
dating sir Emmet Lawson
and being in a Woody Allen film
413
00:18:13,255 --> 00:18:15,623
maybe went to my head
a little, and...
414
00:18:15,657 --> 00:18:18,990
And I lost my mind, and I--
and I wasn't a very good friend.
415
00:18:20,429 --> 00:18:23,762
But this is just...
Such a dream come true for me.
416
00:18:24,533 --> 00:18:26,435
I know it is.
417
00:18:26,469 --> 00:18:29,237
But that doesn't
excuse your behavior.
418
00:18:29,272 --> 00:18:31,172
You're right.
419
00:18:31,207 --> 00:18:32,974
And I'm really sorry.
420
00:18:33,008 --> 00:18:34,075
Thank you.
421
00:18:34,110 --> 00:18:37,443
And I admit being
part of your shenanigans
422
00:18:37,547 --> 00:18:40,880
does add a bit of excitement
to my life.
423
00:18:41,150 --> 00:18:44,253
So, tell me,
how can I make this up to you?
424
00:18:45,288 --> 00:18:47,621
I don't know if there's
anything you can do.
425
00:18:48,259 --> 00:18:50,728
I'm still pretty upset.
426
00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:52,397
What if I got you
a line in the movie?
427
00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:54,299
Done.
428
00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:01,446
Wilbur, Nana's home.
429
00:19:01,481 --> 00:19:04,616
Were you a good boy
for Elka and Mamie Sue?
430
00:19:04,650 --> 00:19:05,617
Oh, yes.
431
00:19:05,651 --> 00:19:07,552
We read Baby Shakespeare,
432
00:19:07,587 --> 00:19:10,920
listened
to Baby Beethoven...
433
00:19:10,990 --> 00:19:14,323
I think both of them
did better work as adults.
434
00:19:17,464 --> 00:19:20,098
Wilbur, darling,
say, "Nana."
435
00:19:20,133 --> 00:19:21,333
Na-na.
436
00:19:21,367 --> 00:19:23,268
Nana.
437
00:19:24,571 --> 00:19:26,138
Did you hear that?
438
00:19:26,172 --> 00:19:28,807
Wilbur just said his first word,
and it was "Nana"!
439
00:19:28,841 --> 00:19:30,709
Well, actually,
his first words--
440
00:19:30,743 --> 00:19:33,212
Zip it.
441
00:19:34,246 --> 00:19:36,579
I'm gonna film it.
Now have him do a second take.
442
00:19:37,151 --> 00:19:38,418
Wilbur, say it again.
443
00:19:38,452 --> 00:19:40,287
Say, "Nana."
444
00:19:40,321 --> 00:19:42,489
TV.
445
00:19:45,542 --> 00:19:47,394
Did he just say, "TV"?
446
00:19:47,429 --> 00:19:50,762
I heard, "Nana."
447
00:19:51,832 --> 00:19:53,667
TV.
448
00:19:54,202 --> 00:19:57,035
That's from
Baby Shakespeare.
449
00:19:57,556 --> 00:20:01,139
"TV or not TV."
450
00:20:02,811 --> 00:20:05,412
Owen and I
made it very clear.
451
00:20:05,447 --> 00:20:08,780
No TV, no processed sugar,
watch your language.
452
00:20:09,049 --> 00:20:11,150
Crap.
453
00:20:12,453 --> 00:20:15,786
That is us
watching our language.
454
00:20:15,956 --> 00:20:18,458
That's it, you two are off
the babysitting list.
455
00:20:18,492 --> 00:20:19,826
You are never
watching Wilbur again.
456
00:20:20,110 --> 00:20:22,193
Bitch.
457
00:20:30,239 --> 00:20:31,674
I got nothing.
458
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:38,474
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
459
00:20:38,524 --> 00:20:43,074
Repair and Synchronization by
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