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1
00:00:08,953 --> 00:00:12,355
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:12,540 --> 00:00:15,008
I think we just polished off
an entire box of wine.
3
00:00:15,042 --> 00:00:17,520
Mm, see that's the dangerous
thing about boxed wine.
4
00:00:17,554 --> 00:00:19,873
You can't really tell how much
you've dranken.
5
00:00:19,907 --> 00:00:21,567
Drinken.
6
00:00:21,601 --> 00:00:23,497
- Drunken?
- Drunk?
7
00:00:23,531 --> 00:00:25,927
Little bit.
8
00:00:25,962 --> 00:00:27,193
So Cuyahoga river wine
9
00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:30,133
wants us to make
boxed wine classy.
10
00:00:30,167 --> 00:00:31,202
You know what we need is
11
00:00:31,237 --> 00:00:32,637
some snooty celebrity
to endorse it.
12
00:00:32,671 --> 00:00:34,404
Oh, I bet Victoria
would do it.
13
00:00:34,438 --> 00:00:36,502
God knows she's never
said no to wine.
14
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:37,702
She'd be good.
15
00:00:37,736 --> 00:00:38,870
Hey, how's her Woody Allen
movie going?
16
00:00:38,904 --> 00:00:40,639
Oh, great.
Oh, guess who they just cast?
17
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,109
Emmet Lawson.
18
00:00:42,144 --> 00:00:43,211
- Seriously?
- Yup.
19
00:00:43,245 --> 00:00:44,211
I love that guy!
20
00:00:44,246 --> 00:00:45,345
He's, like, my favorite actor!
21
00:00:45,380 --> 00:00:47,013
They call him
"the actor's actor"!
22
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:50,081
Why am I yelling?
23
00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:52,885
Maybe we should call this
"the wine's wine."
24
00:00:52,919 --> 00:00:53,920
Hmm.
25
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:55,855
Or we could do an L.A. trick.
26
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,623
Slap a black label on it,
Jack up the price,
27
00:00:58,657 --> 00:01:00,824
and create
an artificial shortage.
28
00:01:00,859 --> 00:01:02,525
People go crazy for that.
29
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,029
You are so smart.
30
00:01:06,064 --> 00:01:07,698
I'm glad Chloe's out of town.
31
00:01:07,732 --> 00:01:09,399
This is fun doing this
with you.
32
00:01:09,433 --> 00:01:11,334
Just the two of us.
33
00:01:16,473 --> 00:01:18,308
Oh, no.
34
00:01:18,342 --> 00:01:19,476
I forgot to call Carmen.
35
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:20,611
Oh, Carmen.
36
00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:22,679
So you're still dating
that model.
37
00:01:22,714 --> 00:01:25,048
Actually, she's a cheerleader
for the Cavs.
38
00:01:25,082 --> 00:01:28,051
So she's limber as well.
39
00:01:28,086 --> 00:01:29,653
Let me just tell her
I'll be there soon.
40
00:01:29,687 --> 00:01:30,754
Yeah, no.
No problem.
41
00:01:30,789 --> 00:01:32,456
It'll give me a chance
to see
42
00:01:32,490 --> 00:01:34,358
if I missed any texts
from my boyfriend.
43
00:01:34,392 --> 00:01:36,794
Oh! No, five.
44
00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:39,708
I didn't know you
were seeing someone.
45
00:01:39,729 --> 00:01:43,163
Oh, yeah, it's new,
but it's super serious.
46
00:01:43,998 --> 00:01:44,998
What's his name?
47
00:01:46,033 --> 00:01:47,033
Um, it's--
48
00:01:47,067 --> 00:01:50,068
- Uhmit?
You mean, Emmet?
49
00:01:50,102 --> 00:01:51,903
Like, Emmet Lawson?
50
00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:55,740
Exactly like Emmet Lawson.
51
00:01:55,774 --> 00:01:57,908
You're dating Emmet Lawson?
52
00:01:57,943 --> 00:01:59,043
Why wouldn't you mention that
53
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,544
when we were just
talking about him?
54
00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:03,514
Because I don't like
to kiss and tell.
55
00:02:03,548 --> 00:02:05,482
And we have done
a lot of kissin',
56
00:02:05,517 --> 00:02:07,784
let me tell ya.
57
00:02:07,819 --> 00:02:08,952
Oh, my God.
58
00:02:08,986 --> 00:02:09,952
Do you think you
could ask him
59
00:02:09,987 --> 00:02:10,953
to represent the wine?
60
00:02:10,988 --> 00:02:12,255
Of course I can ask him.
61
00:02:12,289 --> 00:02:13,322
He's my boyfriend.
62
00:02:13,357 --> 00:02:15,558
I ask him questions
all the time.
63
00:02:15,592 --> 00:02:17,393
Wow.
Emmet Lawson.
64
00:02:17,927 --> 00:02:19,061
You're full of surprises.
65
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:20,062
Yeah.
66
00:02:20,096 --> 00:02:23,532
Sometimes I surprise myself.
67
00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:26,368
You told him what?
68
00:02:26,402 --> 00:02:28,537
I was drunk.
69
00:02:28,571 --> 00:02:29,971
And there's something
about Alec.
70
00:02:30,006 --> 00:02:31,773
Every time he brings up Carmen,
71
00:02:31,807 --> 00:02:33,507
I get all
jealous and panicky,
72
00:02:33,542 --> 00:02:34,909
and I just want
to one-up him.
73
00:02:34,943 --> 00:02:37,111
So do you think you
could talk to Emmet?
74
00:02:37,145 --> 00:02:38,879
You know,
about endorsing the wine?
75
00:02:38,913 --> 00:02:40,380
Are you crazy?
76
00:02:40,414 --> 00:02:42,015
I haven't even met him yet.
77
00:02:42,049 --> 00:02:44,017
And I'm really, really
nervous about it.
78
00:02:44,052 --> 00:02:48,121
He is
the actor's actor's actor.
79
00:02:48,156 --> 00:02:50,323
I think you added an actor.
80
00:02:50,357 --> 00:02:51,791
No, no.
81
00:02:51,825 --> 00:02:53,893
He's the most respected actor
among actor's actors.
82
00:02:53,927 --> 00:02:55,862
He is that good.
83
00:02:55,896 --> 00:02:58,764
Did you know that before he shot
White Fang,
84
00:02:58,798 --> 00:03:01,967
he actually lived with a pack
of wolves for two months?
85
00:03:02,001 --> 00:03:06,104
- Well, that's nuts.
- No, that's method.
86
00:03:06,138 --> 00:03:07,705
There is no way that
I'm going to ask
87
00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:11,675
an actor of his caliber to sell
some cheap boxed wine.
88
00:03:11,710 --> 00:03:12,709
It's not cheap.
89
00:03:12,744 --> 00:03:16,446
It's black label.
Limited edition.
90
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,449
Really?
Where can I get some?
91
00:03:19,483 --> 00:03:22,586
You can't.
They only made 50 cases.
92
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:26,322
I have to have it.
I'll pay double.
93
00:03:26,357 --> 00:03:27,690
I'll see what I can do
94
00:03:27,724 --> 00:03:30,159
if you talk to Emmet about
endorsing the wine.
95
00:03:30,193 --> 00:03:33,429
Why don't you just tell Alec
that you asked Emmet
96
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:34,730
and he said no?
97
00:03:34,764 --> 00:03:36,498
I mean, boyfriends say "no"
all the time.
98
00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:38,268
Mine don't.
99
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:43,705
You're not doing it right.
100
00:03:50,177 --> 00:03:51,712
What were you thinking?
101
00:03:51,746 --> 00:03:55,749
Call me on the disposable.
102
00:03:58,253 --> 00:04:00,721
Hello, I can't talk right now.
103
00:04:05,727 --> 00:04:07,494
Does this have something
to do
104
00:04:07,528 --> 00:04:09,062
with that money Joy saw?
105
00:04:09,096 --> 00:04:11,731
"Allegedly" saw...
106
00:04:11,765 --> 00:04:13,668
When she was studying.
107
00:04:16,202 --> 00:04:17,670
Morning.
108
00:04:18,404 --> 00:04:19,838
So what do you guys think?
109
00:04:20,373 --> 00:04:23,676
I went shopping
at Forever 21.
110
00:04:23,710 --> 00:04:28,110
I'm guessing
"The Menopause Barn" was closed?
111
00:04:31,951 --> 00:04:34,252
I know somehow you're fitting
into school
112
00:04:34,286 --> 00:04:35,787
even though you haven't changed
your look
113
00:04:35,821 --> 00:04:39,057
since the invention
of the Bedazzler.
114
00:04:39,091 --> 00:04:41,492
But I'm going for something
a little more collegiate.
115
00:04:41,527 --> 00:04:42,760
I just want to blend in.
116
00:04:42,795 --> 00:04:43,861
I don't want people
to look at me
117
00:04:43,895 --> 00:04:45,763
and think,
what's she doing here?
118
00:04:45,797 --> 00:04:46,997
I'm looking at you
and thinking
119
00:04:47,032 --> 00:04:49,933
why is she wearing
that hideous purse?
120
00:04:49,968 --> 00:04:51,234
It's not a purse.
121
00:04:51,268 --> 00:04:53,002
Nobody at school
carries purses anymore.
122
00:04:53,036 --> 00:04:55,371
- This is a messenger bag.
- Hmm.
123
00:04:55,405 --> 00:04:56,804
What do you carry in there?
124
00:04:56,805 --> 00:04:58,305
My purse.
125
00:05:01,805 --> 00:05:07,805
Sync, corrected by Alice
Resync for 720p by Baqinardo www.addic7ed.com
126
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,021
Victoria Chase.
127
00:05:14,256 --> 00:05:16,391
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am--
128
00:05:16,425 --> 00:05:19,059
- Sir Emmet Lawson.
- At your service.
129
00:05:24,061 --> 00:05:26,595
As soon as I saw your name
on the call sheet,
130
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,058
I rushed over
to say hello
131
00:05:28,092 --> 00:05:30,198
because I'm a huge fan
of your work.
132
00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:32,000
Oh.
I am hugely thrilled
133
00:05:32,034 --> 00:05:34,802
that one of the world's most
celebrated actors
134
00:05:34,837 --> 00:05:37,972
actually watched my little Emmy
award-winning performance
135
00:05:38,006 --> 00:05:40,107
on Edge of Tomorrow.
136
00:05:40,141 --> 00:05:41,408
Actually,
I was referring
137
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:44,144
to your many Lifetime Original movies.
138
00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:48,578
Pageant Mom Murder,
The Two Mrs. Finklesteins,
139
00:05:49,084 --> 00:05:52,919
A Kidney For Sister Sarah.
140
00:05:52,954 --> 00:05:55,655
Every one, a precious jewel.
141
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,490
Well, I am just thrilled
142
00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,959
that we get to play together
and with Woody Allen.
143
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,827
But what if
it's one of his bad ones?
144
00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:07,064
Melinda and Melinda?
No, thank you. No, thank you.
145
00:06:07,098 --> 00:06:09,666
It can't possibly be bad
if we're in it.
146
00:06:09,701 --> 00:06:11,634
Excellent point.
147
00:06:11,669 --> 00:06:15,270
You know, I believe you and I
are going
148
00:06:15,305 --> 00:06:19,174
to become great friends.
149
00:06:23,995 --> 00:06:25,948
Would you wear this?
150
00:06:27,982 --> 00:06:29,350
I might tie it around
my finger
151
00:06:29,384 --> 00:06:31,418
if I needed to remember
something.
152
00:06:34,156 --> 00:06:35,389
It's a gift for Carmen.
153
00:06:35,423 --> 00:06:36,790
We're headed to Cozumel
for a long weekend.
154
00:06:36,825 --> 00:06:38,626
Really?
155
00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:40,728
Well, uh, me and Emmet
are going away
156
00:06:40,762 --> 00:06:42,229
for the long weekend too.
157
00:06:42,264 --> 00:06:43,731
Only we're not gonna
need bathing suits
158
00:06:43,765 --> 00:06:45,767
'cause we're gonna be naked.
159
00:06:46,801 --> 00:06:48,769
So naked.
160
00:06:48,804 --> 00:06:50,138
Why are you telling me this?
161
00:06:50,672 --> 00:06:53,141
I really don't know.
162
00:06:53,175 --> 00:06:56,178
Hey, um, listen.
About the other night...
163
00:06:56,212 --> 00:06:57,279
I know we'd been drinking,
164
00:06:57,314 --> 00:06:59,148
and we were having fun--
a lot of fun.
165
00:06:59,182 --> 00:07:01,784
- Mm-hmm.
- But I want to apologize.
166
00:07:01,818 --> 00:07:04,086
I don't think I was being
entirely professional.
167
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:07,356
I mean, we're both
in committed relationships.
168
00:07:07,391 --> 00:07:08,791
Right?
169
00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:10,259
Right.
170
00:07:10,294 --> 00:07:12,195
Big time.
171
00:07:12,229 --> 00:07:13,363
So we're good?
172
00:07:13,397 --> 00:07:14,664
Yeah.
173
00:07:14,998 --> 00:07:16,466
Oh, hey.
174
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:17,734
What did Emmet say about
endorsing the wine?
175
00:07:17,768 --> 00:07:20,236
Oh, yeah.
I asked him and he said no.
176
00:07:20,270 --> 00:07:24,206
You know, sometimes boyfriends
say "no."
177
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,141
Hey, what if you brought him
by here for lunch?
178
00:07:26,175 --> 00:07:28,177
I know I could persuade him.
179
00:07:28,211 --> 00:07:29,812
I mean, not to brag,
but people have
180
00:07:29,847 --> 00:07:31,180
a hard time saying no to me.
181
00:07:31,215 --> 00:07:32,181
What do you say?
182
00:07:32,416 --> 00:07:33,651
Okay.
183
00:07:34,985 --> 00:07:36,152
Okay.
184
00:07:38,822 --> 00:07:40,523
I did it again.
185
00:07:40,558 --> 00:07:43,493
I told Alec that I would bring
Emmet by for lunch.
186
00:07:43,527 --> 00:07:45,729
Why on earth would you
do that?
187
00:07:45,763 --> 00:07:47,698
I don't know,
I just like him so much
188
00:07:47,732 --> 00:07:50,132
I can't help but lie to him.
189
00:07:52,737 --> 00:07:54,872
- You know how it is.
- Yeah, yeah, I do.
190
00:07:55,406 --> 00:07:57,307
And actually,
I might be able
191
00:07:57,342 --> 00:07:58,708
to talk to Emmet
for you.
192
00:07:58,743 --> 00:08:00,677
It turns out that
we have a lot in common.
193
00:08:00,711 --> 00:08:03,447
He's a huge fan of my work.
194
00:08:03,481 --> 00:08:06,016
Why?
195
00:08:06,051 --> 00:08:08,619
I mean, great.
Not surprising at all.
196
00:08:08,653 --> 00:08:10,257
So not shocked.
197
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:14,659
I hate school,
and I'm never going back,
198
00:08:14,693 --> 00:08:16,095
and you can't make me.
199
00:08:17,629 --> 00:08:19,297
Honey, what happened?
200
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:21,431
No one makes any attempt
to talk to me
201
00:08:21,465 --> 00:08:23,366
or acknowledge my existence.
202
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,769
They're all so cool with their
piercings and tattoos.
203
00:08:26,804 --> 00:08:28,071
Well, at least you got Elka.
204
00:08:28,105 --> 00:08:30,505
She's one of the mean girls.
205
00:08:32,977 --> 00:08:34,745
I saw her with
her study group friends,
206
00:08:34,779 --> 00:08:36,613
and they totally snubbed me.
207
00:08:36,647 --> 00:08:38,115
Now, Joy,
I'm gonna tell you
208
00:08:38,149 --> 00:08:39,316
what I used to tell my kids
209
00:08:39,350 --> 00:08:41,317
when they had a problem
like this.
210
00:08:41,352 --> 00:08:43,653
Talk to your therapist,
Mommy's in a movie.
211
00:08:46,490 --> 00:08:47,824
Victoria.
212
00:08:47,859 --> 00:08:48,992
Oh, it's Emmet.
213
00:08:49,026 --> 00:08:50,762
We just got our script,
214
00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:52,296
and I asked him to come by
to run lines.
215
00:08:52,331 --> 00:08:55,133
- You call for me?
- Oh, Sir Emmet Lawson. Hello.
216
00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:56,801
I would like to introduce you
to my friends--
217
00:08:56,836 --> 00:08:59,237
Why would I want to be
in the same trailer as you,
218
00:08:59,271 --> 00:09:01,075
let alone the same universe?
219
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:04,076
I'm sorry?
220
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,811
You're sorry?
Typical.
221
00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:07,746
You're always sorry,
aren't you?
222
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:10,783
Well, I'm sorry
I ever met you.
223
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:12,251
I don't understand.
224
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:15,520
No.
You never do.
225
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,226
What was that?
226
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,196
I don't know.
227
00:09:22,731 --> 00:09:24,767
You didn't ask him
about lunch.
228
00:09:32,086 --> 00:09:33,966
I don't understand
what just happened.
229
00:09:34,088 --> 00:09:36,156
This morning
he was my biggest fan
230
00:09:36,190 --> 00:09:37,690
and now he hates me.
231
00:09:37,725 --> 00:09:40,360
What's odd is he said
you "always" do this.
232
00:09:40,394 --> 00:09:41,995
How could you "always"
do anything
233
00:09:42,029 --> 00:09:43,029
if you've only just met him?
234
00:09:43,064 --> 00:09:44,531
I don't know,
and I have no idea
235
00:09:44,565 --> 00:09:46,900
why he's acting this way.
236
00:09:47,234 --> 00:09:49,469
Acting.
237
00:09:49,503 --> 00:09:52,472
In the script he's
my ex-husband, who hates me.
238
00:09:52,507 --> 00:09:55,208
Now, maybe he's doing that
whole method acting thing,
239
00:09:55,243 --> 00:09:57,044
and he's just treating me
like his ex-wife.
240
00:09:57,078 --> 00:09:59,146
- Oh, of course.
- That's it.
241
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:01,315
Yeah, but what if it's not?
242
00:10:01,349 --> 00:10:03,082
What if he just hates me?
243
00:10:03,117 --> 00:10:05,751
I can't go through the next
three months not knowing.
244
00:10:05,786 --> 00:10:07,053
Well, you're gonna have to
245
00:10:07,087 --> 00:10:10,022
unless Woody magically decides
to rewrite the movie
246
00:10:10,056 --> 00:10:12,558
and turns your characters
into a loving couple.
247
00:10:14,494 --> 00:10:17,964
Interesting.
248
00:10:17,998 --> 00:10:19,766
I was saying that
as an example
249
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,701
of something that's not
going to happen.
250
00:10:21,736 --> 00:10:22,702
Yeah, but--
251
00:10:22,737 --> 00:10:24,371
but what if I wrote a scene
252
00:10:24,405 --> 00:10:25,605
where our characters get along
253
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,140
and I slipped it
into Emmet's script
254
00:10:27,175 --> 00:10:29,243
and that way I'll find out
if he hates me
255
00:10:29,277 --> 00:10:31,045
or if he's just being method.
256
00:10:31,079 --> 00:10:32,914
And once I find out,
257
00:10:32,948 --> 00:10:35,216
then I just make the improved
script go away.
258
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:37,418
Really?
You're seriously considering
259
00:10:37,452 --> 00:10:40,987
rewriting Woody Allen?
260
00:10:41,021 --> 00:10:43,790
She already referred to it
as an "improved" scene.
261
00:10:43,825 --> 00:10:45,926
It's not like it's gonna be
in the movie.
262
00:10:46,361 --> 00:10:48,996
Although one never knows.
263
00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:50,964
Do you even know how to write?
264
00:10:50,999 --> 00:10:52,266
Well, of course.
265
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:56,037
You forget I was married
to Aaron Sorkin's cousin.
266
00:10:56,071 --> 00:10:59,471
And I wrote
my own Wikipedia bio.
267
00:11:00,642 --> 00:11:04,311
And I just put a pencil
behind my ear.
268
00:11:07,348 --> 00:11:09,583
Were any of those a "yes?"
269
00:11:14,221 --> 00:11:14,989
Oh.
270
00:11:15,023 --> 00:11:16,857
Hi, Joy.
271
00:11:16,892 --> 00:11:18,728
Hi.
Joy Scroggs.
272
00:11:22,097 --> 00:11:24,131
From economics.
273
00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:25,600
Hey, what's up?
274
00:11:25,635 --> 00:11:28,003
Just chillaxin'.
Keeping it real.
275
00:11:28,037 --> 00:11:31,440
Gettin' my homework on.
276
00:11:31,475 --> 00:11:34,944
Oh, geez.
277
00:11:34,978 --> 00:11:38,448
So... What were you
laughing about?
278
00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:40,718
Elka says there's some girl
who carries a purse
279
00:11:40,753 --> 00:11:42,221
inside her messenger bag.
280
00:11:46,260 --> 00:11:49,662
Oh, how sad and random.
281
00:11:49,697 --> 00:11:52,165
It's so hot in here.
282
00:11:52,199 --> 00:11:53,400
Whoo.
283
00:11:53,434 --> 00:11:55,369
What's on your neck?
284
00:11:55,403 --> 00:11:58,371
Oh, this?
I just got inked.
285
00:11:58,406 --> 00:12:00,073
You got a tattoo?
286
00:12:00,107 --> 00:12:02,141
It's oozing pus.
287
00:12:03,877 --> 00:12:06,813
Spider said there might be
some weeping.
288
00:12:06,847 --> 00:12:08,181
It's pretty gross.
289
00:12:08,216 --> 00:12:09,816
You have to keep disinfectant
on it.
290
00:12:09,851 --> 00:12:10,918
The same thing happened
291
00:12:10,952 --> 00:12:13,056
when my mom got
her mid-life tattoo.
292
00:12:13,090 --> 00:12:15,490
Did you just turn 50?
293
00:12:17,566 --> 00:12:21,068
Now we're gonna see
some weeping.
294
00:12:24,907 --> 00:12:26,875
Hey, Melanie.
It's me.
295
00:12:26,909 --> 00:12:28,943
Our experiment didn't work.
296
00:12:28,978 --> 00:12:30,913
I dropped off the fake scene,
297
00:12:30,947 --> 00:12:32,848
but I haven't seen Emmet
all day.
298
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,383
You should probably
just tell Alec
299
00:12:34,417 --> 00:12:36,718
that you and Emmet broke up.
300
00:12:39,289 --> 00:12:40,789
Victoria.
301
00:12:40,824 --> 00:12:42,891
I'm so glad you're here.
302
00:12:42,925 --> 00:12:44,759
Really? You are?
303
00:12:44,794 --> 00:12:46,461
Oh, did--did you get
the new scene?
304
00:12:46,496 --> 00:12:48,630
I did which is why
I'm quitting the movie.
305
00:12:48,665 --> 00:12:50,465
What?
306
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:53,435
It's hands down
the worst thing I've ever read.
307
00:12:53,469 --> 00:12:55,137
Rife with spelling errors,
308
00:12:55,171 --> 00:12:56,405
makes no sense at all.
309
00:12:56,439 --> 00:12:58,507
Definitely one of Woody's
bad ones.
310
00:12:58,541 --> 00:13:00,442
I thought the scene was quite
brilliant.
311
00:13:00,477 --> 00:13:01,510
Bollocks.
312
00:13:01,544 --> 00:13:03,278
It's even worse than
that play
313
00:13:03,313 --> 00:13:05,014
Aaron Sorkin's cousin wrote.
314
00:13:06,049 --> 00:13:07,016
No.
315
00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:08,351
Woody's obviously lost it.
316
00:13:08,385 --> 00:13:10,820
I suggest you call your agent
and get off this movie
317
00:13:10,854 --> 00:13:11,820
before you get fired.
318
00:13:11,855 --> 00:13:12,922
Fired?
319
00:13:12,957 --> 00:13:14,591
The scene calls
for your role
320
00:13:14,625 --> 00:13:17,260
to be played by
a stunning 30-something.
321
00:13:17,294 --> 00:13:19,362
Obviously, he's going
to recast you.
322
00:13:20,764 --> 00:13:23,099
I could pass
for 30-something.
323
00:13:23,134 --> 00:13:25,135
Oh, sweet Victoria.
324
00:13:25,169 --> 00:13:28,138
I'm so pleased you haven't lost
your sense of humor
325
00:13:28,172 --> 00:13:29,639
through all of this.
326
00:13:30,474 --> 00:13:32,076
I bid you adieu.
327
00:13:33,545 --> 00:13:37,381
I'm sure our paths
will cross again.
328
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:40,084
Wait!
329
00:13:40,118 --> 00:13:41,652
I wrote that scene.
330
00:13:41,686 --> 00:13:43,454
Come again?
331
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,858
Being on this movie is
a dream come true for me.
332
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:48,960
I have such enormous respect
for you,
333
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:51,295
and I'm just very insecure
334
00:13:51,329 --> 00:13:53,998
about working with an actor
of your caliber.
335
00:13:54,032 --> 00:13:55,166
And I-I just needed
to know that
336
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,902
it wasn't you hating me,
it was the method.
337
00:13:57,936 --> 00:14:01,707
You darling little lunatic.
338
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,008
Please tell me
you won't quit.
339
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,143
Please tell me
you won't write.
340
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,712
Deal.
341
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:08,448
And I know that you have to go
back into character,
342
00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:11,418
and I promise that I won't take
it personally.
343
00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:13,586
Well, we'll see
if I can't adjust my methods
344
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,221
so I'm not quite so gruff,
hmm?
345
00:14:15,256 --> 00:14:17,924
Thank you.
346
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:20,627
It's just fear, you know.
347
00:14:20,661 --> 00:14:22,662
The whole immersing myself
into the character thing.
348
00:14:22,697 --> 00:14:24,230
That way,
if the performance fails,
349
00:14:24,265 --> 00:14:27,267
it's the character's fault,
not my own.
350
00:14:27,302 --> 00:14:29,670
That is so honest.
351
00:14:29,704 --> 00:14:31,238
And deep.
352
00:14:31,272 --> 00:14:33,540
I know.
353
00:14:33,575 --> 00:14:34,642
But because of that,
354
00:14:34,676 --> 00:14:35,916
I'm often labeled as difficult.
355
00:14:35,944 --> 00:14:37,011
I understand.
356
00:14:37,045 --> 00:14:39,648
People say that
I'm difficult too.
357
00:14:39,682 --> 00:14:42,784
But beyond my hysterical demands
for a larger trailer,
358
00:14:42,819 --> 00:14:46,187
I'm just a little girl looking
for love.
359
00:14:46,222 --> 00:14:48,123
Thank you for sharing that.
360
00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:50,392
You know,
361
00:14:50,426 --> 00:14:52,327
I believe you and I
are two sides
362
00:14:52,361 --> 00:14:53,694
of the same coin.
363
00:14:53,729 --> 00:14:57,932
A very rare
and beautiful coin.
364
00:15:05,148 --> 00:15:07,550
Well, I suppose
all your friends are out there
365
00:15:07,584 --> 00:15:09,919
having a nice laugh about me
right now.
366
00:15:09,953 --> 00:15:12,622
Look, you're at an awkward
age for college.
367
00:15:12,656 --> 00:15:13,656
That's all.
368
00:15:13,657 --> 00:15:14,790
What about you?
369
00:15:14,825 --> 00:15:15,791
They all love you.
370
00:15:15,826 --> 00:15:17,593
Because I'm 90.
371
00:15:17,628 --> 00:15:19,795
I'm a novelty.
372
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:24,480
I'm also genuinely cool.
373
00:15:24,885 --> 00:15:27,053
And I'm their mum's age.
374
00:15:27,087 --> 00:15:29,289
No one wants their mum
hanging out with them,
375
00:15:29,323 --> 00:15:30,790
or worse, acting like them.
376
00:15:30,824 --> 00:15:34,060
- You can't take it personally.
- Of course not.
377
00:15:34,094 --> 00:15:35,628
I guess I just have
to accept
378
00:15:35,662 --> 00:15:37,796
that the social part of college
won't be for me.
379
00:15:38,832 --> 00:15:40,833
Well, you're not missing much.
380
00:15:40,867 --> 00:15:43,869
In my day,
we knew how to party.
381
00:15:43,904 --> 00:15:47,540
Well, you certainly left
a mess at Stonehenge.
382
00:15:49,109 --> 00:15:52,044
This is why I can't
be nice to you.
383
00:15:58,086 --> 00:16:00,521
Hey, guys.
Zack texted me.
384
00:16:00,555 --> 00:16:02,222
What did he say?
385
00:16:02,257 --> 00:16:04,524
He wants me to come to
his dorm room and hang out.
386
00:16:04,559 --> 00:16:08,295
Is this the guy you hooked up
with a couple of weeks ago
387
00:16:08,330 --> 00:16:09,597
who never called back?
388
00:16:10,131 --> 00:16:11,500
Yes.
389
00:16:12,434 --> 00:16:14,903
You know, maybe...
390
00:16:14,937 --> 00:16:16,905
He's looking for something
serious after all.
391
00:16:16,940 --> 00:16:19,274
Oh, dear God.
392
00:16:19,609 --> 00:16:21,009
What?
393
00:16:21,544 --> 00:16:23,145
Look, it's none
of my business,
394
00:16:23,179 --> 00:16:25,581
but that's not someone looking
for something serious.
395
00:16:25,615 --> 00:16:28,317
That's a booty call,
plain and simple.
396
00:16:28,352 --> 00:16:30,620
Just sayin'.
397
00:16:30,654 --> 00:16:32,021
You don't even know Zack.
398
00:16:32,055 --> 00:16:33,419
How do I look?
399
00:16:33,453 --> 00:16:34,785
Doesn't matter how you look.
400
00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:36,186
Zack wants you to come there
and take your clothes off.
401
00:16:36,221 --> 00:16:38,888
That's how
he wants you to look.
402
00:16:38,923 --> 00:16:41,257
In economics, when something
is in demand,
403
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,558
what is the quickest way
to diminish its value?
404
00:16:43,893 --> 00:16:46,027
- Flood the market.
- Exactly.
405
00:16:46,061 --> 00:16:47,694
And if you go over
to Zach's dorm
406
00:16:47,729 --> 00:16:49,129
based on
a let's-hang-out text,
407
00:16:49,163 --> 00:16:52,032
what do you think that's
gonna do to your value?
408
00:16:52,066 --> 00:16:53,099
Make it plummet.
409
00:16:53,134 --> 00:16:54,767
Precisely.
410
00:16:54,802 --> 00:16:57,437
It's a classic example
of Keynesian theories
411
00:16:57,471 --> 00:16:59,072
of market fungibility.
412
00:16:59,106 --> 00:17:02,609
Hey, I understand economics.
413
00:17:05,180 --> 00:17:06,480
Can I ask you something?
414
00:17:06,515 --> 00:17:08,816
What if a guy tells you
he can't see you because--
415
00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:10,418
He's lying.
416
00:17:10,452 --> 00:17:11,652
How do you know?
417
00:17:11,687 --> 00:17:13,454
Because if a guy really wants
to see you,
418
00:17:13,489 --> 00:17:15,290
he will find a way
to see you.
419
00:17:15,324 --> 00:17:16,291
What if a guy said he wants
420
00:17:16,325 --> 00:17:17,525
to take a break
for a little while?
421
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:18,660
Oh, cut him loose.
422
00:17:18,694 --> 00:17:19,861
He's already banging
your roommate.
423
00:17:19,895 --> 00:17:21,829
Next.
424
00:17:21,863 --> 00:17:22,830
No, no, no, no.
425
00:17:22,864 --> 00:17:24,098
One at a time,
one at a time.
426
00:17:27,823 --> 00:17:29,107
Is that all you're taking?
427
00:17:29,141 --> 00:17:31,142
Ah, it's a beach vacation.
You don't need much.
428
00:17:31,177 --> 00:17:32,377
Yeah?
429
00:17:32,412 --> 00:17:33,513
Well, Emmet and I aren't packing
much either
430
00:17:33,547 --> 00:17:36,648
'cause we're going
on an all-nude snowboarding--
431
00:17:36,683 --> 00:17:38,650
ugh, never mind.
432
00:17:38,685 --> 00:17:40,352
So is Emmet coming by?
433
00:17:40,387 --> 00:17:42,254
Yeah, that's what I came
to talk to you about.
434
00:17:42,288 --> 00:17:43,255
See, um,
435
00:17:43,589 --> 00:17:45,290
Emmet and I broke up.
436
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:46,960
Melanie, my love!
437
00:17:48,595 --> 00:17:51,096
E-Emmet Lawson.
Oh, my God.
438
00:17:51,131 --> 00:17:54,033
I mean, uh, hello.
My lover.
439
00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:58,467
I mean, I thought I dumped you,
buddy.
440
00:17:59,005 --> 00:18:01,240
Melanie, my sweet.
441
00:18:01,274 --> 00:18:03,642
Don't break up
with me, please.
442
00:18:03,676 --> 00:18:06,145
Give me another chance
to win your heart.
443
00:18:06,179 --> 00:18:08,414
Okay.
444
00:18:08,449 --> 00:18:10,250
I'm so glad you're here,
Mr. Lawson.
445
00:18:10,284 --> 00:18:12,151
Oh, please.
Mr. Lawson is my father.
446
00:18:12,186 --> 00:18:14,621
I am Sir Emmet.
447
00:18:14,655 --> 00:18:15,955
And you must be Alec,
448
00:18:15,989 --> 00:18:18,824
purveyor of fine wine served
in cardboard.
449
00:18:18,859 --> 00:18:20,093
It's a pleasure
to meet you.
450
00:18:20,127 --> 00:18:21,628
I would love for you
to try our wine.
451
00:18:21,662 --> 00:18:22,729
Do you have a second?
452
00:18:22,763 --> 00:18:24,364
Well, as Peter O'Toole
once said to me,
453
00:18:24,398 --> 00:18:26,332
"Emmet, never turn down free--"
454
00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:28,334
and then he passed out.
455
00:18:28,369 --> 00:18:30,570
But I'm sure he was gonna
say "wine."
456
00:18:33,441 --> 00:18:36,043
Oh, my God.
What are you doing here?
457
00:18:36,077 --> 00:18:38,312
Victoria brought me up
to speed on the whole story.
458
00:18:38,346 --> 00:18:40,681
Oh, if he brings up
nude snowboarding,
459
00:18:40,715 --> 00:18:42,416
act like it's a real thing.
460
00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:44,018
I've done it.
461
00:18:44,052 --> 00:18:45,686
Really?
462
00:18:45,721 --> 00:18:47,622
- That's acting.
- Oh.
463
00:18:49,358 --> 00:18:50,659
So glad you're here.
464
00:18:50,693 --> 00:18:52,460
I am such a huge fan
of your work.
465
00:18:52,494 --> 00:18:54,830
As am I.
466
00:18:54,864 --> 00:18:57,265
Now pull open the valve
on that carton
467
00:18:57,299 --> 00:18:59,801
and let us drink deeply
from Bacchus' treasure.
468
00:19:01,636 --> 00:19:03,538
Now the beauty of
Cuyahoga river wine--
469
00:19:03,572 --> 00:19:05,472
Let's let the wine
do the talking.
470
00:19:08,176 --> 00:19:10,110
I love it.
I will endorse this wine.
471
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:12,479
That's fantastic news.
472
00:19:12,513 --> 00:19:14,915
This is my agent.
You are aware of my fees.
473
00:19:14,949 --> 00:19:16,283
I imagine they're high.
474
00:19:16,317 --> 00:19:19,185
I wouldn't be bringing it up
if they were low.
475
00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:20,386
Thank you.
I'll call him.
476
00:19:20,421 --> 00:19:21,421
Now I hate to run,
477
00:19:21,455 --> 00:19:22,991
but I've got a plane
to catch.
478
00:19:24,525 --> 00:19:25,792
And--and listen,
479
00:19:25,826 --> 00:19:27,193
I can't you enough
for your time.
480
00:19:27,227 --> 00:19:28,728
Anything for my Melanie.
481
00:19:28,762 --> 00:19:31,163
I am a lucky man,
aren't I?
482
00:19:32,165 --> 00:19:35,134
You most certainly are.
483
00:19:38,637 --> 00:19:39,805
Thank you!
484
00:19:39,839 --> 00:19:41,507
And I'm Melanie by the way.
485
00:19:41,541 --> 00:19:43,376
Sir Emmet Lawson
at your service.
486
00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:46,012
You really like this guy, huh?
487
00:19:46,046 --> 00:19:47,113
Oh, yeah.
488
00:19:47,147 --> 00:19:48,848
And it's really so stupid
489
00:19:48,882 --> 00:19:50,750
because he's totally involved
with another woman.
490
00:19:50,784 --> 00:19:51,818
And I can't get him out
of my head.
491
00:19:51,852 --> 00:19:53,052
And then
I come here every day,
492
00:19:53,053 --> 00:19:54,854
and he's
all I think about.
493
00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:56,890
I know a little
of what you speak.
494
00:19:56,924 --> 00:19:58,191
You do?
495
00:19:58,225 --> 00:20:00,326
When I spent all those months
living with the wolves,
496
00:20:00,361 --> 00:20:02,529
there was
this one blue-eyed beauty
497
00:20:02,563 --> 00:20:04,864
that really caught my eye.
498
00:20:05,499 --> 00:20:06,733
One of the wolves?
499
00:20:06,767 --> 00:20:07,900
Of course not.
500
00:20:07,935 --> 00:20:09,168
My costar, Cameron Diaz.
501
00:20:09,202 --> 00:20:10,669
What's wrong with you?
502
00:20:12,105 --> 00:20:14,807
Hey.
I saw your boss in the hallway.
503
00:20:14,841 --> 00:20:15,908
He is cute.
504
00:20:15,942 --> 00:20:18,077
Really?
In--in the hallway?
505
00:20:18,112 --> 00:20:20,780
- When?
- Just now outside the door.
506
00:20:20,814 --> 00:20:22,815
Oh, my God.
What if he heard us?
507
00:20:22,850 --> 00:20:26,519
Victoria, do that thing where we
check if someone can hear.
508
00:20:27,754 --> 00:20:28,754
If she can hear
what I'm saying,
509
00:20:28,789 --> 00:20:30,223
I am totally screwed.
510
00:20:30,757 --> 00:20:32,725
You are totally screwed.
511
00:20:32,726 --> 00:20:38,225
Sync, corrected by Alice
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00:20:38,275 --> 00:20:42,825
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