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1
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Hot in Cleveland is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,758 --> 00:00:06,759
Rock and roll history
will be made
3
00:00:06,793 --> 00:00:08,326
in Cleveland this week
4
00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:10,362
when sexy rocker Johnny Revere
5
00:00:10,396 --> 00:00:12,764
reunites with his
band mate, Drago,
6
00:00:12,798 --> 00:00:17,869
shown here during their
1988 simpatico tour.
7
00:00:17,904 --> 00:00:21,372
Unfortunately,
one week into simpatico,
8
00:00:21,406 --> 00:00:25,476
Johnny and Drago broke up
due to creative differences.
9
00:00:25,511 --> 00:00:28,447
They hate each other.
10
00:00:28,481 --> 00:00:30,684
But now the two rockers
have agreed
11
00:00:30,718 --> 00:00:32,685
to put aside their differences
to perform
12
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:35,755
a We Are The World type song
promoting the idea
13
00:00:35,789 --> 00:00:37,757
that everyone should just stop
yelling at each other
14
00:00:37,791 --> 00:00:39,591
and get along.
15
00:00:39,626 --> 00:00:42,628
It's called Cool Aid:A time to chill.
16
00:00:44,697 --> 00:00:46,464
And I'll have
exclusive access
17
00:00:46,499 --> 00:00:48,099
to the story
behind the story
18
00:00:48,133 --> 00:00:50,267
because I happen to know
19
00:00:50,302 --> 00:00:54,206
the lucky lady
dating Johnny Revere.
20
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,710
That's right,
the Ohio part of America.
21
00:00:56,744 --> 00:00:59,346
It's me.
22
00:01:03,018 --> 00:01:04,418
Hey, what are you doing?
23
00:01:04,453 --> 00:01:05,886
Oh, just chilling glasses.
24
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:07,821
Johnny likes
his martini cold
25
00:01:07,856 --> 00:01:09,624
and his Victoria hot.
26
00:01:09,658 --> 00:01:10,625
[Chuckles]
27
00:01:10,660 --> 00:01:11,961
This Cool Aid thing
28
00:01:11,995 --> 00:01:13,829
has an amazing lineup
of musicians.
29
00:01:13,863 --> 00:01:15,465
[Gasps]
Oh, my God.
30
00:01:15,499 --> 00:01:17,167
David Gates
is gonna be there?
31
00:01:17,201 --> 00:01:18,969
- Who?
- David Gates from Bread.
32
00:01:19,003 --> 00:01:20,437
Oh, I must have listened
to The Best of Bread
33
00:01:20,472 --> 00:01:22,507
a million times
in high school.
34
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:25,444
You went to high school
in an elevator?
35
00:01:31,051 --> 00:01:33,152
Bread is not elevator music.
36
00:01:33,187 --> 00:01:35,855
It's soft rock.
37
00:01:35,889 --> 00:01:36,889
There's a difference.
38
00:01:36,924 --> 00:01:37,957
Oh, sure.
39
00:01:37,991 --> 00:01:40,159
Soft rock isn't
all up in your face
40
00:01:40,193 --> 00:01:44,096
like elevator music.
41
00:01:44,130 --> 00:01:45,798
I'm coming with you
to the recording session.
42
00:01:50,871 --> 00:01:53,840
I still dream of becoming
a professional singer.
43
00:01:53,874 --> 00:01:56,109
And I dream
about CC Sabathia
44
00:01:56,144 --> 00:01:58,545
coming back to the Indians.
45
00:01:58,580 --> 00:02:00,948
Neither one of 'em's
gonna happen.
46
00:02:00,983 --> 00:02:02,283
Seriously.
47
00:02:02,318 --> 00:02:03,685
I'm better than Verena.
48
00:02:03,719 --> 00:02:05,454
Stupid Mariah Carey wannabe.
49
00:02:05,488 --> 00:02:08,157
- Well, doesn't Verena have,
like, a six-octave range?
50
00:02:08,191 --> 00:02:10,659
If computers can digitally
take out a rib
51
00:02:10,694 --> 00:02:12,362
for a photo shoot,
they can do anything.
52
00:02:12,396 --> 00:02:15,632
I told you that
in confidence.
53
00:02:15,666 --> 00:02:16,633
[Doorbell rings]
54
00:02:16,667 --> 00:02:17,934
Oh, that must be Johnny.
55
00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:19,635
Do you want us to stall him
while you get ready?
56
00:02:19,670 --> 00:02:21,938
No, that's what's so great
about our relationship now.
57
00:02:21,972 --> 00:02:23,773
We can just be ourselves.
58
00:02:33,317 --> 00:02:34,417
Guess who's hot for teacher.
59
00:02:34,451 --> 00:02:36,519
I...
60
00:02:42,093 --> 00:02:44,327
Oh, I was expecting
someone else.
61
00:02:44,362 --> 00:02:48,165
Would you like to buy
some chocolate?
62
00:02:48,199 --> 00:02:49,833
Do you really think
that I could eat candy
63
00:02:49,868 --> 00:02:52,402
and fit into an outfit
like this?
64
00:02:52,437 --> 00:02:55,272
Why are you
dressed like that?
65
00:02:55,307 --> 00:02:57,575
Well, I just got home
from school,
66
00:02:57,609 --> 00:03:00,211
and, uh, haven't had a chance
to put on
67
00:03:00,245 --> 00:03:03,013
my play clothes yet.
68
00:03:03,048 --> 00:03:05,716
Oh, and there's
my playmate now.
69
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,518
- Hi, Victoria.
- Hi, Johnny.
70
00:03:07,552 --> 00:03:09,119
I had a "hot for teacher" line,
71
00:03:09,153 --> 00:03:12,690
but now that seems
wildly inappropriate.
72
00:03:12,724 --> 00:03:16,461
Uh, we need to talk.
73
00:03:16,495 --> 00:03:17,729
Uh-oh.
74
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:20,833
Sounds like you're gonna need
some chocolate.
75
00:03:23,764 --> 00:03:28,833
Sync, corrected by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
76
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,880
Well, Natalya and I
have been seeing each other
77
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,381
for six months.
78
00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:36,582
How old is she?
79
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:37,917
That's not important.
80
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:41,053
Oh, my God.
How young is she?
81
00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:42,954
- 22.
- [Gasps]
82
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:46,758
That's more than half
my... height.
83
00:03:46,792 --> 00:03:49,160
So, uh, how did you meet?
84
00:03:49,194 --> 00:03:50,828
She's a backup singer
in my band.
85
00:03:50,862 --> 00:03:52,597
[Laughing]
Oh.
86
00:03:52,631 --> 00:03:54,132
Okay, so it's nothing.
87
00:03:54,166 --> 00:03:57,236
No, it would be like me
sleeping with an extra,
88
00:03:57,270 --> 00:04:00,139
like "cop #1"
or "hunky trucker."
89
00:04:01,003 --> 00:04:02,107
You don't understand.
90
00:04:02,141 --> 00:04:03,642
Of course I understand.
91
00:04:03,676 --> 00:04:05,977
You and I have
an open relationship.
92
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:07,279
What you do on the road
93
00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:09,648
or what I do on the set
of the Lifetime Original Movie
94
00:04:09,682 --> 00:04:13,018
Truck Stop Waitress:The Alison McClaney Story
95
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:16,255
has nothing to do
with us.
96
00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:18,458
I'm gonna ask her
to marry me.
97
00:04:20,795 --> 00:04:22,128
A backup singer?
98
00:04:22,163 --> 00:04:23,997
Well, she repeats
everything I say.
99
00:04:24,032 --> 00:04:27,701
It's very affirming.
100
00:04:27,736 --> 00:04:29,536
All right, please, just no--
no jokes right now.
101
00:04:29,571 --> 00:04:31,605
I'm kind of reeling here.
102
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,007
Okay, I'm sorry.
103
00:04:33,041 --> 00:04:34,875
What you and I have
is incredible.
104
00:04:34,910 --> 00:04:36,010
But all you want
is a weekend here
105
00:04:36,044 --> 00:04:37,278
and a night there.
106
00:04:37,312 --> 00:04:39,714
I know, that's what makes it
so exciting.
107
00:04:39,748 --> 00:04:42,684
Yeah, and--
and this outfit you're wearing
108
00:04:42,718 --> 00:04:45,120
isn't making this
any easier.
109
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:46,956
But I need more than that.
110
00:04:46,990 --> 00:04:49,158
Natalya wants to be there
every day.
111
00:04:49,192 --> 00:04:50,393
I mean, I asked you
to marry me,
112
00:04:50,427 --> 00:04:51,427
and you turned me down.
113
00:04:51,461 --> 00:04:52,761
Well, of course.
114
00:04:52,796 --> 00:04:54,029
I can't go on the road
115
00:04:54,063 --> 00:04:55,864
and--and travel around
with you in a bus
116
00:04:55,898 --> 00:04:58,600
and--and stay in motels
and--and all that loud music.
117
00:04:58,634 --> 00:05:00,635
I mean, that is
a young woman's game.
118
00:05:02,071 --> 00:05:05,840
Oh.
119
00:05:05,875 --> 00:05:08,042
[Crying]
I'm devastated.
120
00:05:08,077 --> 00:05:10,844
Look at me.
I'm actually eating chocolate.
121
00:05:10,879 --> 00:05:13,380
And it's the lowest form
of chocolate.
122
00:05:13,415 --> 00:05:15,048
Fundraiser chocolate.
123
00:05:18,353 --> 00:05:21,355
Honey.
124
00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,691
I'm so sorry.
I know it hurts.
125
00:05:23,725 --> 00:05:25,059
You know, even though Johnny
wasn't always there,
126
00:05:25,093 --> 00:05:26,526
I thought he'd always
be there.
127
00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:28,729
He was like
my safety net.
128
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:30,530
Maybe knowing
you had a safety net
129
00:05:30,565 --> 00:05:33,166
was holding you back
from finding someone wonderful.
130
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,301
That's just something
131
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:36,870
people who don't have
safety nets say.
132
00:05:36,905 --> 00:05:39,240
That's true.
133
00:05:41,610 --> 00:05:42,944
You know what?
134
00:05:42,979 --> 00:05:45,146
This is crazy.
No more wallowing.
135
00:05:45,181 --> 00:05:46,281
I have got to move on.
136
00:05:46,315 --> 00:05:47,582
Bravo, Victoria.
137
00:05:47,617 --> 00:05:50,351
And the best way to do that
is to get revenge.
138
00:05:50,386 --> 00:05:52,886
I always "bravo" too soon.
139
00:05:52,921 --> 00:05:54,154
I know.
140
00:05:54,189 --> 00:05:55,789
I need to go
to Johnny's recording tomorrow
141
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,257
with a new boyfriend,
142
00:05:57,291 --> 00:05:59,092
someone who trumps rock star.
143
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,727
How about George Clooney?
144
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:01,994
- Ooh, that's good.
- Mm-hmm.
145
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:06,231
But does movie star
beat rock star?
146
00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:09,067
Yes, that's the only problem
with choosing George Clooney.
147
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:12,938
Look, it has to be someone
148
00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:14,907
who will really
make Johnny mad--
149
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,609
as mad at you
as he is with Drago.
150
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:19,011
[Gasps]
That's it! Drago!
151
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:22,416
Oh, that is gonna kill Johnny
to see me with him.
152
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:24,351
Guess who's hot for teacher.
153
00:06:24,386 --> 00:06:25,619
[Mumbling]
It's chaos out here.
154
00:06:25,654 --> 00:06:28,022
I was totally like...
And good news!
155
00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:29,090
Got so excited,
out of the blue...
156
00:06:29,124 --> 00:06:31,625
Knee socks.
157
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,127
Oh, my gosh.
158
00:06:33,161 --> 00:06:36,196
Of course I'll be
your girlfriend.
159
00:06:43,578 --> 00:06:45,179
Look, I'm sorry.
160
00:06:45,213 --> 00:06:46,947
I don't know where the hell
Drago is.
161
00:06:46,981 --> 00:06:48,582
Oh, I'm sure
he had a good excuse.
162
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:49,883
Perhaps he was out late
last night
163
00:06:49,918 --> 00:06:51,785
with some beautiful woman.
164
00:06:51,819 --> 00:06:54,288
A woman whose identity
could be surprising
165
00:06:54,322 --> 00:06:57,592
and potentially disturbing
to you.
166
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:58,826
I'm here!
167
00:06:58,861 --> 00:06:59,928
I'm here!
168
00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:02,397
History to be made.
169
00:07:02,432 --> 00:07:03,832
Where's Johnny Revere?
170
00:07:03,866 --> 00:07:06,268
I'm Johnny, you idiot.
171
00:07:06,303 --> 00:07:08,437
Whoa! Gee!
172
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:12,441
Whoa, time is cruel.
Just craggy.
173
00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:14,944
I got these bags
carrying your drunken ass,
174
00:07:14,978 --> 00:07:16,478
like I'm about to do
right now.
175
00:07:16,513 --> 00:07:18,580
Okay, guys, guys.
176
00:07:18,615 --> 00:07:20,549
Let's do this thing.
177
00:07:20,583 --> 00:07:21,683
Welcome, everybody.
178
00:07:21,717 --> 00:07:23,485
A time to chill is a song
179
00:07:23,519 --> 00:07:27,689
to promote peace and brotherhood
in these contentious times.
180
00:07:27,724 --> 00:07:29,691
The world needs...
181
00:07:29,725 --> 00:07:31,493
If we could all just get...
182
00:07:31,527 --> 00:07:33,628
I mean, take...
183
00:07:33,663 --> 00:07:35,664
I mean,
that's what it's all about.
184
00:07:35,698 --> 00:07:38,033
Right?
185
00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:40,202
Well said, Drago.
186
00:07:40,237 --> 00:07:42,038
Anyway, I can't think
of a better project
187
00:07:42,072 --> 00:07:43,206
to bring us back together.
188
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,108
And speaking of together,
189
00:07:45,142 --> 00:07:47,044
I know that America
would be very interested to know
190
00:07:47,078 --> 00:07:48,279
that you have
a new girlfriend
191
00:07:48,313 --> 00:07:50,381
who's young enough to be
your granddaughter.
192
00:07:50,416 --> 00:07:52,851
So it's not creepy
at all.
193
00:07:52,885 --> 00:07:54,219
And--and Drago,
194
00:07:54,254 --> 00:07:57,189
uh, I hear that you have
a new special someone
195
00:07:57,224 --> 00:07:58,190
in your life.
196
00:07:58,225 --> 00:07:59,425
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
197
00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:01,927
Shout it from the rooftops.
198
00:08:01,962 --> 00:08:03,563
Viselnub.
199
00:08:05,566 --> 00:08:08,535
I'll just give everyone
out there in TV land a hint.
200
00:08:08,569 --> 00:08:09,669
It's me.
201
00:08:09,704 --> 00:08:10,670
What?
202
00:08:10,705 --> 00:08:12,972
That's what I said.
203
00:08:13,007 --> 00:08:14,541
Viselnub.
204
00:08:14,575 --> 00:08:16,943
- Uh, Vic-to-ria.
205
00:08:16,977 --> 00:08:18,811
Viselnub.
206
00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:20,680
- Vic--
- Visel--
207
00:08:20,714 --> 00:08:22,615
- toria.
- Nub.
208
00:08:22,650 --> 00:08:24,150
- Victoria.
- Viselnub.
209
00:08:24,185 --> 00:08:26,820
Oh, isn't he adorable?
210
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:29,623
Okay, Frank, that's enough.
I think we got it.
211
00:08:29,657 --> 00:08:31,057
Look, Victoria.
212
00:08:31,092 --> 00:08:33,360
You don't have to pretend
to like this jerk
213
00:08:33,394 --> 00:08:34,594
just to get back at me.
214
00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:36,229
I'm not pretending.
215
00:08:36,264 --> 00:08:38,865
No, he and I have had a thing
for each other for years.
216
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:41,668
Number one
in me spank bank.
217
00:08:41,703 --> 00:08:44,705
And you in mine,
my love.
218
00:08:49,511 --> 00:08:50,912
Who in this room
do you think
219
00:08:50,946 --> 00:08:53,114
has the most valuable hair?
220
00:08:53,148 --> 00:08:55,516
Put those away.
Are you insane?
221
00:08:55,550 --> 00:08:57,885
But I need a lock
of celebrity hair
222
00:08:57,919 --> 00:09:00,020
to auction off
for my animal shelter.
223
00:09:00,054 --> 00:09:01,554
I--
224
00:09:01,589 --> 00:09:05,691
Ohh, Bieber!
225
00:09:05,726 --> 00:09:08,794
The mother lode.
226
00:09:11,331 --> 00:09:13,131
Any sign of David Gates
from Bread?
227
00:09:13,165 --> 00:09:14,466
I don't know
what he looks like.
228
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:16,101
Well, probably the same
as he did,
229
00:09:16,135 --> 00:09:17,302
only 30 years older.
230
00:09:17,336 --> 00:09:19,304
I don't know
what he looked like then.
231
00:09:19,338 --> 00:09:20,371
Seriously?
232
00:09:20,406 --> 00:09:21,672
Baby, I'm-a want you?
233
00:09:21,707 --> 00:09:23,308
"I wanna make itwith you?"
234
00:09:23,342 --> 00:09:24,943
David Gates from Bread
is famous.
235
00:09:24,977 --> 00:09:26,911
If you have to add
the band he played with
236
00:09:26,945 --> 00:09:29,747
when you say his name,
he's not famous.
237
00:09:29,781 --> 00:09:33,284
Nobody ever says
"Sting from The Police."
238
00:09:33,319 --> 00:09:35,120
I'm sorry, ma'am.
Mr. Bieber's busy.
239
00:09:35,154 --> 00:09:36,188
Oh, it's okay.
240
00:09:36,222 --> 00:09:39,458
I'm Justin's grandmother.
241
00:09:39,492 --> 00:09:42,427
His grandmother's 45.
242
00:09:42,461 --> 00:09:44,696
Okay, I'll level with you.
243
00:09:44,731 --> 00:09:48,099
I need a lock of his hair
for my animal shelter.
244
00:09:48,134 --> 00:09:49,367
Do you know
how many charities
245
00:09:49,402 --> 00:09:51,269
want a piece
of Mr. Bieber?
246
00:09:51,304 --> 00:09:53,405
Ugh. I didn't think
I'd have to do this,
247
00:09:53,439 --> 00:09:56,441
but check out these puppies.
248
00:09:58,845 --> 00:10:00,078
Please don't, ma'am.
249
00:10:00,112 --> 00:10:01,379
Well, I mean--
250
00:10:01,413 --> 00:10:05,950
I mean, these are the puppies
you'd be saving.
251
00:10:05,985 --> 00:10:09,254
Cupcake and--
and Frosting.
252
00:10:09,288 --> 00:10:11,656
Ooh, doo-doo
woo-doo-woo-dee.
253
00:10:12,925 --> 00:10:14,492
Ooh, headset man.
254
00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:16,127
Do you know
if David Gates is here?
255
00:10:16,161 --> 00:10:18,129
Uh, yeah,
he's in the control room.
256
00:10:18,163 --> 00:10:20,197
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
257
00:10:20,231 --> 00:10:21,432
Thank you.
258
00:10:21,466 --> 00:10:23,033
Who's David Gates?
259
00:10:23,068 --> 00:10:24,601
He's the president
of the Minivan council.
260
00:10:24,636 --> 00:10:27,471
They're sponsoring
this whole thing.
261
00:10:29,073 --> 00:10:30,307
- 'Scuse me. Hi.
- Hello.
262
00:10:30,841 --> 00:10:32,943
You're David Gates from--
263
00:10:32,978 --> 00:10:35,012
I--you're David Gates.
264
00:10:35,047 --> 00:10:36,480
Call me Dave.
265
00:10:36,514 --> 00:10:37,814
- I'm Melanie.
- Mm-hmm.
266
00:10:37,849 --> 00:10:40,850
I think it's so great
that you're doing this.
267
00:10:40,885 --> 00:10:42,285
Do you think maybe you'd sign
my guitar?
268
00:10:42,319 --> 00:10:44,687
Well, I'm not really much
of a musician.
269
00:10:44,721 --> 00:10:47,723
Oh, stop!
270
00:10:47,758 --> 00:10:51,427
Don't listen to the haters.
271
00:10:51,461 --> 00:10:55,330
That's, uh, one of those
non-electric ones.
272
00:10:55,365 --> 00:10:56,398
Yeah.
273
00:10:56,432 --> 00:10:57,732
Oh, could you write,
274
00:10:57,767 --> 00:11:00,736
"To Melanie:
I wanna make it with you"?
275
00:11:00,770 --> 00:11:03,038
Sure.
276
00:11:03,072 --> 00:11:05,207
You're a beautiful woman,
Melanie.
277
00:11:05,242 --> 00:11:06,475
Thank you.
278
00:11:06,510 --> 00:11:08,210
I'd like to see you
in one of my minivans.
279
00:11:08,245 --> 00:11:09,946
Oh!
280
00:11:09,980 --> 00:11:11,381
Well, in my fantasy,
it's a Porsche.
281
00:11:11,415 --> 00:11:13,750
But okay.
282
00:11:14,284 --> 00:11:15,118
Thank you.
283
00:11:15,153 --> 00:11:16,853
- You're welcome.
- Thank you so much.
284
00:11:16,888 --> 00:11:19,690
Um, could I ask
for one more thing?
285
00:11:19,724 --> 00:11:21,558
I mean, you probably get asked
this all the time,
286
00:11:21,592 --> 00:11:23,527
but can I give you a kiss?
287
00:11:23,561 --> 00:11:27,897
Does the Toyota Sienna
have 12 cup holders?
288
00:11:31,302 --> 00:11:33,736
Does it?
289
00:11:33,770 --> 00:11:36,738
Hell, yeah.
290
00:11:36,773 --> 00:11:38,840
♪ Hello ♪
291
00:11:38,875 --> 00:11:40,242
♪ what's up ♪
292
00:11:40,276 --> 00:11:43,044
♪ I love those boots ♪
293
00:11:43,079 --> 00:11:44,479
How's it going?
294
00:11:44,513 --> 00:11:46,948
Well, I couldn't get
any Bieber hair.
295
00:11:46,982 --> 00:11:49,784
That chick runs fast.
296
00:11:53,555 --> 00:11:55,590
Well, my plan's
not working either.
297
00:11:55,624 --> 00:11:56,624
Neither is mine.
298
00:11:56,658 --> 00:11:58,126
I've yet to be discovered,
299
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,195
even though I'm singing
in everyone's face
300
00:12:00,229 --> 00:12:01,563
and being all cute
and "adorkable."
301
00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:04,465
How come that works
for Zooey Deschanel?
302
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:07,102
- "Adorkable"
is like short shorts--
303
00:12:07,136 --> 00:12:09,637
ridiculous after 30.
304
00:12:11,373 --> 00:12:13,174
But back to me.
305
00:12:13,208 --> 00:12:15,777
Johnny's not buying
that Drago and I are together.
306
00:12:15,811 --> 00:12:17,979
He just needs to see it
with his own eyes.
307
00:12:18,014 --> 00:12:20,682
If the billion-dollar porn
industry has taught us anything,
308
00:12:20,717 --> 00:12:22,184
it's that men are visual.
309
00:12:22,218 --> 00:12:23,919
And when a pizza
is delivered,
310
00:12:23,954 --> 00:12:26,956
the topping is always sausage.
311
00:12:37,302 --> 00:12:39,603
Ooh, look at these oranges.
312
00:12:39,638 --> 00:12:41,438
So high in vitamin--
313
00:12:41,473 --> 00:12:44,941
[singing high]
♪ "C" ♪
314
00:12:44,976 --> 00:12:46,142
Verena, right?
315
00:12:46,176 --> 00:12:47,543
Sorry, dude.
316
00:12:47,577 --> 00:12:51,013
I really don't have time
to sign autographs right now.
317
00:12:51,047 --> 00:12:53,782
Actually, I was hoping
for an interview.
318
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:57,185
I'm... Opal
with the BBC World Service.
319
00:12:57,219 --> 00:12:59,220
Oh!
320
00:12:59,254 --> 00:13:01,990
I love the BBC.
321
00:13:02,024 --> 00:13:04,493
Um, I'm sorry, what did you say
your name was?
322
00:13:04,527 --> 00:13:06,495
Opal. Opal...
323
00:13:06,529 --> 00:13:08,864
Winfrey.
324
00:13:08,898 --> 00:13:10,632
No relation.
325
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:13,836
Would you care to demonstrate
your six-octave range?
326
00:13:13,870 --> 00:13:15,170
A lot of people think
327
00:13:15,205 --> 00:13:16,906
it's a trick done
in the studio.
328
00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:19,742
Not me, but credible sources.
329
00:13:19,777 --> 00:13:22,312
I would,
but I'm resting my voice.
330
00:13:22,347 --> 00:13:24,281
Well, you heard it here first.
331
00:13:24,315 --> 00:13:25,482
She can't do it.
332
00:13:25,516 --> 00:13:26,883
This is Opal Winfrey
with the--
333
00:13:26,918 --> 00:13:28,085
Now, hang on a minute.
334
00:13:28,119 --> 00:13:29,552
[Clears throat]
335
00:13:29,587 --> 00:13:31,154
[Tenor range]
♪ United ♪
336
00:13:31,189 --> 00:13:32,822
[Alto range]
♪ United ♪
337
00:13:32,857 --> 00:13:34,324
[Soprano range]
♪ United ♪
338
00:13:34,358 --> 00:13:38,228
[Super-soprano range]
♪ United ♪
339
00:13:39,397 --> 00:13:41,866
Yeah. I counted four.
340
00:13:43,402 --> 00:13:44,702
[Giggling]
Oh, Drago.
341
00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:46,037
You naughty boy.
342
00:13:46,071 --> 00:13:49,341
There's a room full
of people next door.
343
00:13:49,375 --> 00:13:50,742
[Whispering]
Victoria!
344
00:13:50,777 --> 00:13:51,844
People can hear you.
345
00:13:51,878 --> 00:13:53,045
The mic is on.
346
00:13:53,079 --> 00:13:55,915
I know. I turned it on
so Johnny could hear.
347
00:13:55,949 --> 00:13:58,352
Unfortunately,
Drago passed out,
348
00:13:58,386 --> 00:13:59,486
like, five minutes ago.
349
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,957
I've had to play both parts.
350
00:14:03,991 --> 00:14:05,591
What are you smiling about?
351
00:14:05,626 --> 00:14:07,560
I made out
with David Gates
352
00:14:07,594 --> 00:14:10,396
in this very room.
353
00:14:10,430 --> 00:14:11,730
[Gasps]
Johnny's coming!
354
00:14:11,764 --> 00:14:14,199
Quick, put Drago
back on top of me.
355
00:14:14,233 --> 00:14:15,800
Now what?
356
00:14:15,835 --> 00:14:17,635
Hide, hide!
357
00:14:18,904 --> 00:14:20,371
Oh, yes.
358
00:14:20,406 --> 00:14:21,806
Yes, Drago.
359
00:14:21,841 --> 00:14:24,643
[Imitating Drago]
Oh, Viselnub.
360
00:14:24,677 --> 00:14:28,180
Viselnub, oh,
you're so hot, Viselnub.
361
00:14:28,214 --> 00:14:29,448
Oh! Oh!
362
00:14:29,482 --> 00:14:32,584
Yes, yes.
363
00:14:32,619 --> 00:14:34,853
[Door slams]
364
00:14:34,888 --> 00:14:37,222
Well, did it work?
Was he jealous?
365
00:14:37,256 --> 00:14:38,491
I don't know.
I couldn't see anything.
366
00:14:38,525 --> 00:14:39,725
I was under
the mixing board.
367
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:43,496
I'm up! Did we shag?
Was I good?
368
00:14:43,530 --> 00:14:45,332
Two girls.
369
00:14:45,366 --> 00:14:47,668
Was I in a sandwich?
370
00:14:49,804 --> 00:14:51,939
Not in a sandwich?
371
00:14:53,942 --> 00:14:58,213
[Squealing]
♪ United ♪
372
00:14:58,247 --> 00:15:00,148
Didn't quite get there,
did you?
373
00:15:02,217 --> 00:15:03,184
[Squawks]
374
00:15:03,218 --> 00:15:05,419
[Hoarsely]
Oh, no.
375
00:15:05,453 --> 00:15:07,822
Vo--gone.
Vo--duh--
376
00:15:07,856 --> 00:15:09,890
What?
What are you saying?
377
00:15:09,924 --> 00:15:12,159
She says she can't sing.
378
00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:18,609
Are you guys ready
to rock? Huh?
379
00:15:19,143 --> 00:15:20,510
But first,
let's thank our sponsor,
380
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:21,812
the Minivan Ad council,
381
00:15:21,846 --> 00:15:24,280
and their president
of marketing and strat planning,
382
00:15:24,815 --> 00:15:27,783
David Gates.
383
00:15:32,622 --> 00:15:34,524
Oh, my God.
384
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:37,960
I take it you made out
with the wrong guy?
385
00:15:37,995 --> 00:15:41,597
See, this is why you say,
"David Gates from Bread."
386
00:15:42,331 --> 00:15:43,699
Quick announcement.
387
00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:45,935
Verena had to cancel
due to throat problems.
388
00:15:45,969 --> 00:15:47,102
No!
389
00:15:47,137 --> 00:15:49,504
I'm here.
Verena's here.
390
00:15:49,539 --> 00:15:50,973
I'm Verena.
391
00:15:51,007 --> 00:15:52,441
Great.
392
00:15:52,475 --> 00:15:56,144
We all know
that's Joy, right?
393
00:15:56,179 --> 00:15:58,847
And cue playback.
394
00:15:58,881 --> 00:16:01,717
Try to stay in tune,
you brain-dead freak.
395
00:16:01,751 --> 00:16:03,519
Didn't need brains
to shag your girlfriend.
396
00:16:03,553 --> 00:16:06,054
♪ Too many people ♪
397
00:16:06,088 --> 00:16:07,589
♪ raising their voice ♪
398
00:16:07,624 --> 00:16:10,925
♪ the world
is so divided ♪
399
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,827
♪ and isn't it time ♪
400
00:16:12,861 --> 00:16:14,495
♪ we all made a choice ♪
401
00:16:14,529 --> 00:16:18,265
[Together]
♪ to sing as friends united ♪
402
00:16:18,299 --> 00:16:19,766
- [Squawking]
♪ uni-- ♪
403
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,603
Cut! Stop the playback.
404
00:16:22,637 --> 00:16:24,004
You keep your hands
off Victoria,
405
00:16:24,038 --> 00:16:25,105
you limey bastard.
406
00:16:25,139 --> 00:16:27,174
Oh, it's working.
407
00:16:27,209 --> 00:16:28,810
Oh, bloody hell, wanker.
408
00:16:28,844 --> 00:16:30,011
She's not your Viselnub.
409
00:16:30,045 --> 00:16:31,879
She is my veezelnub.
Uh, Victoria.
410
00:16:31,914 --> 00:16:33,114
And I'm taking her back.
411
00:16:33,149 --> 00:16:35,550
There's no take-backs,
you selfish pissant!
412
00:16:35,585 --> 00:16:36,719
You kicked me
out of the band!
413
00:16:36,753 --> 00:16:38,387
You left the band.
414
00:16:38,421 --> 00:16:39,922
Wandered off
in Amsterdam.
415
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,425
You and Keith Richard,
living in that windmill.
416
00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:43,425
Oh.
417
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:44,660
You can turn it off.
418
00:16:44,694 --> 00:16:46,429
They're not talking
about me any more.
419
00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:49,833
I'm gonna take a five.
Don't touch anything.
420
00:16:49,867 --> 00:16:53,437
Oh, well,
now I gotta touch something.
421
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:55,172
Well, your revenge plan
worked.
422
00:16:55,207 --> 00:16:56,941
Bravo.
423
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:59,277
Oh, I got much more
than revenge.
424
00:16:59,311 --> 00:17:01,145
I got my safety net back.
425
00:17:01,180 --> 00:17:03,415
And now Johnny and I can go back
to the way things were,
426
00:17:03,449 --> 00:17:04,582
you know.
427
00:17:04,617 --> 00:17:05,817
I mean, I know that he wanted
someone
428
00:17:05,851 --> 00:17:06,951
who'd be there
all the time,
429
00:17:06,986 --> 00:17:08,453
but, you know,
when you love someone,
430
00:17:08,487 --> 00:17:10,288
you have to make sacrifices.
431
00:17:10,323 --> 00:17:12,023
I'd certainly do that
for him.
432
00:17:14,127 --> 00:17:15,093
Although, uh...
433
00:17:15,128 --> 00:17:16,895
[Sniffs]
434
00:17:16,929 --> 00:17:18,496
Clearly, I didn't
on this occasion.
435
00:17:18,530 --> 00:17:20,831
I...
436
00:17:20,866 --> 00:17:23,066
I didn't even think
of him at all.
437
00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:26,502
God, this was
a terrible plan.
438
00:17:27,037 --> 00:17:30,138
Again, I "bravo" too soon.
439
00:17:31,274 --> 00:17:32,940
So, Melanie, m'lady.
440
00:17:36,478 --> 00:17:40,148
When this is all over,
are we still going to Chili's?
441
00:17:40,682 --> 00:17:42,850
Listen, David Gates from...
442
00:17:42,885 --> 00:17:44,986
Marketing.
443
00:17:45,021 --> 00:17:47,288
I thought you were
David Gates from Bread.
444
00:17:47,323 --> 00:17:48,656
I wish!
445
00:17:48,691 --> 00:17:50,125
Huge Bread fan.
446
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:53,029
I'm a loafer for life.
447
00:17:53,063 --> 00:17:54,363
Really?
448
00:17:54,398 --> 00:17:55,531
Are you a Bread Head?
449
00:17:55,565 --> 00:17:58,535
Does the Toyota Sienna
have 12 cup holders?
450
00:18:03,779 --> 00:18:04,912
I'm confused.
451
00:18:04,947 --> 00:18:06,313
I just want you to have
what you need,
452
00:18:06,848 --> 00:18:08,715
which is someone
who'll be there for you
453
00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:11,951
every day,
and that's just not me.
454
00:18:11,986 --> 00:18:16,222
So you need to go back
to Natalya.
455
00:18:16,256 --> 00:18:17,924
You did all that
to get me back,
456
00:18:17,958 --> 00:18:19,458
and now you don't want me?
457
00:18:19,493 --> 00:18:22,327
We both know
it's for the best.
458
00:18:22,362 --> 00:18:24,329
Wow.
459
00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:27,632
So this is really it
for us?
460
00:18:27,667 --> 00:18:29,735
I guess so.
461
00:18:29,769 --> 00:18:34,473
But you'll always be
in my spank bank.
462
00:18:34,508 --> 00:18:35,641
Do you even know
what that is?
463
00:18:35,676 --> 00:18:37,877
No.
464
00:18:38,711 --> 00:18:41,114
Good.
465
00:18:41,148 --> 00:18:42,915
You know, I'm gonna write
a song about you.
466
00:18:42,950 --> 00:18:45,151
Course, I won't be able
to play it in concert
467
00:18:45,185 --> 00:18:47,587
'cause the fans just want
to hear all the old stuff.
468
00:18:47,621 --> 00:18:49,456
[Chuckles]
469
00:18:49,490 --> 00:18:51,858
Good-bye, Johnny.
470
00:19:06,140 --> 00:19:07,107
What was I thinking?
471
00:19:07,141 --> 00:19:08,542
Natalya's not better
for me.
472
00:19:08,576 --> 00:19:10,244
She's 22.
473
00:19:10,278 --> 00:19:13,047
She never even dialed
a phone.
474
00:19:13,081 --> 00:19:16,284
What was I thinking,
doing something unselfish?
475
00:19:16,319 --> 00:19:18,921
[Chuckles]
Yeah.
476
00:19:18,955 --> 00:19:21,257
That's not the woman
I love.
477
00:19:21,291 --> 00:19:22,892
Having you 20% of the time
478
00:19:22,927 --> 00:19:24,561
is better than having
any other woman
479
00:19:24,595 --> 00:19:25,595
all of the time.
480
00:19:25,629 --> 00:19:27,831
Aww.
481
00:19:27,865 --> 00:19:29,566
Actually,
when you add up the days,
482
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,568
it's--it's really not
even 20%, just...
483
00:19:32,602 --> 00:19:35,871
Oh, shut up.
484
00:19:35,905 --> 00:19:37,472
This is...
I can't believe it.
485
00:19:37,506 --> 00:19:39,807
Viselnub's back with Johnny.
486
00:19:40,842 --> 00:19:43,244
There are plenty of fish
in the sea.
487
00:19:43,278 --> 00:19:45,646
Especially for somebody
famous like you.
488
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,914
You are famous, aren't you?
489
00:19:48,649 --> 00:19:49,950
Yes, very.
490
00:19:49,984 --> 00:19:52,085
But it still hurts.
491
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:54,020
Oh, of course it does.
492
00:19:54,055 --> 00:19:56,056
Come here.
493
00:19:56,090 --> 00:19:57,824
Oh.
494
00:19:57,859 --> 00:19:59,192
[Sighs deeply]
495
00:20:04,732 --> 00:20:05,733
[Snip]
496
00:20:05,734 --> 00:20:10,051
Sync, corrected by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
497
00:20:10,101 --> 00:20:14,651
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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