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Hot in Cleveland
is recorded in front
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00:00:01,644 --> 00:00:04,266
of a live studio audience.
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00:00:04,300 --> 00:00:05,799
Hi!
4
00:00:05,833 --> 00:00:07,630
Melanie Moretti,
columnist for woman's day.
5
00:00:07,665 --> 00:00:09,833
Good game, everybody.
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00:00:09,867 --> 00:00:14,000
Good game?
They lost by 20 points.
7
00:00:14,035 --> 00:00:15,433
Yes, but they were very good
about sharing the ball
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00:00:15,467 --> 00:00:17,434
with the other team.
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00:00:17,468 --> 00:00:21,135
Those are fumbles.
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00:00:22,169 --> 00:00:24,440
[Gasp] Oh, wow.
Who's that?
11
00:00:24,474 --> 00:00:26,578
Jimmy Armstrong.
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00:00:26,612 --> 00:00:27,847
He doesn't have much
upstairs,
13
00:00:27,882 --> 00:00:30,487
but he's got plenty
down below.
14
00:00:30,521 --> 00:00:32,724
Elka.
15
00:00:32,758 --> 00:00:34,527
He's Cleveland's kicker.
16
00:00:34,562 --> 00:00:37,199
What did you think I meant?
17
00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:38,868
Yo, Jimmy.
18
00:00:38,902 --> 00:00:40,403
She wants to interview you.
19
00:00:40,437 --> 00:00:41,570
Oh, hey.
Sure thing.
20
00:00:41,604 --> 00:00:43,539
Hi, Melanie Moretti.
Woman's day.
21
00:00:43,574 --> 00:00:45,207
I'm writing an article
about doing things
22
00:00:45,242 --> 00:00:47,042
outside your comfort zone.
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00:00:47,076 --> 00:00:48,510
And I'm...
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00:00:48,544 --> 00:00:50,178
Uncomfortable
in a football locker room
25
00:00:50,212 --> 00:00:52,779
with a lot of naked men.
26
00:00:52,814 --> 00:00:56,416
I'm comfortable with it.
27
00:00:56,451 --> 00:00:57,584
Are you a writer too?
28
00:00:57,618 --> 00:00:59,319
No, no,
next week is her birthday,
29
00:00:59,353 --> 00:01:00,720
and this is my gift to her.
30
00:01:00,754 --> 00:01:02,621
Oh, happy birthday, ma'am.
31
00:01:02,655 --> 00:01:03,789
Oh, thank you.
32
00:01:03,823 --> 00:01:05,994
I'm gonna be 90.
33
00:01:06,028 --> 00:01:08,864
Can I...Squeeze your chest?
34
00:01:08,898 --> 00:01:12,402
Okay, yeah.
35
00:01:12,436 --> 00:01:14,706
Ooh.
36
00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:16,143
So you're Cleveland's
kicker.
37
00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:19,046
Yeah, which is funny because
my name is Jimmy Armstrong.
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00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,615
Being the kicker,
you think it would be...
39
00:01:20,650 --> 00:01:21,883
Legstrong.
40
00:01:21,918 --> 00:01:26,089
- I was gonna say kickguy.
- Yours works too.
41
00:01:26,123 --> 00:01:28,625
I'm gonna go browsing.
42
00:01:35,566 --> 00:01:37,500
that you just broke the team
record for points scored.
43
00:01:37,534 --> 00:01:39,268
Yeah, would you like to see
the ball that I kicked
44
00:01:39,302 --> 00:01:41,870
to break the record?
Sure, love to.
45
00:01:41,905 --> 00:01:43,872
Rusty, throw me that ball.
Whoa, duck!
46
00:01:43,907 --> 00:01:46,275
Whoa! Ahh!
47
00:01:54,921 --> 00:01:58,089
Your name is Melanie.
48
00:01:58,124 --> 00:02:00,258
The year is 2011.
49
00:02:00,292 --> 00:02:05,698
- 2012.
- 2012.
50
00:02:05,732 --> 00:02:07,967
Why are you talking to me
like that?
51
00:02:08,001 --> 00:02:10,103
She thinks the blow to your
head has given you amnesia.
52
00:02:10,138 --> 00:02:12,873
Despite everything I've said
to the contrary.
53
00:02:12,907 --> 00:02:15,075
Well, it happened to me
three times on edge of tomorrow.
54
00:02:15,110 --> 00:02:18,947
So I think I know
what I'm talking about.
55
00:02:18,982 --> 00:02:20,316
I went to Harvard
medical school.
56
00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:23,719
Hmm. I won a daytime Emmy.
57
00:02:23,753 --> 00:02:26,422
Well, since she's already here,
isn't there something else
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00:02:26,457 --> 00:02:28,725
that she can have done
that's covered by insurance?
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00:02:28,759 --> 00:02:30,627
Maybe some botox or...
60
00:02:30,662 --> 00:02:32,129
I don't know,
a chemical peel?
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00:02:32,163 --> 00:02:35,899
Hey, maybe chemical peels
all around.
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00:02:35,933 --> 00:02:38,535
Well, we did just get a new
CT medical scanner.
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00:02:38,569 --> 00:02:41,371
It gives a complete physical
in just five minutes.
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00:02:41,405 --> 00:02:43,273
I've been dying to give
that baby a spin.
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00:02:43,307 --> 00:02:46,443
Not me.
I've never had a physical.
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00:02:46,478 --> 00:02:49,413
Never had a physical?
That's crazy.
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00:02:49,448 --> 00:02:51,749
You might have something wrong
they can give you pills for
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00:02:51,784 --> 00:02:55,553
that I can sneak into your
bathroom and steal.
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00:02:55,588 --> 00:02:58,257
I'm afraid of what
they might find.
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00:02:58,291 --> 00:03:01,160
And unlike you, I don't like
being poked and prodded
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00:03:01,194 --> 00:03:04,430
by strangers.
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00:03:04,464 --> 00:03:07,199
- Don't be a 90-year-old baby.
I'll do it with you.
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00:03:07,233 --> 00:03:10,202
[Knocking]
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00:03:10,236 --> 00:03:13,438
Knock, knock!
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00:03:13,473 --> 00:03:14,773
I know I knocked outside,
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00:03:14,807 --> 00:03:16,208
but I like saying "knock, knock"
in case some of you
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00:03:16,242 --> 00:03:17,642
didn't hear me.
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00:03:17,677 --> 00:03:19,244
It's kind of my thing.
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00:03:19,278 --> 00:03:21,413
Oh, my God.
Jimmy Armstrong?
80
00:03:21,447 --> 00:03:22,581
What are you doing here?
81
00:03:22,615 --> 00:03:24,082
This woman
is a friend of mine.
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00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:26,218
I wanna make sure she's getting
the best medical care possible.
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00:03:26,252 --> 00:03:31,023
She will be now.
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00:03:31,057 --> 00:03:33,860
Well, Jimmy, you know Elka,
and these are my roommates
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00:03:33,894 --> 00:03:35,628
joy and Victoria.
Hello.
86
00:03:35,662 --> 00:03:37,998
So...You okay?
87
00:03:38,032 --> 00:03:39,333
Yeah, but why did you
tell me to duck
88
00:03:39,367 --> 00:03:41,101
if the ball was
coming at me low?
89
00:03:41,135 --> 00:03:43,938
Oh, because when a duck
is in danger,
90
00:03:43,972 --> 00:03:46,573
it flies up and away.
91
00:03:46,608 --> 00:03:47,708
I was kinda hoping
you'd do that.
92
00:03:47,742 --> 00:03:51,078
So...Duck means jump up?
93
00:03:51,112 --> 00:03:54,648
Or fly, yeah.
94
00:03:54,682 --> 00:03:56,483
Hey, so you wanna go grab
some dinner tonight?
95
00:03:56,518 --> 00:03:57,718
- Me?
- Yeah.
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00:03:57,752 --> 00:03:59,720
- I'd love to.
- Awesome.
97
00:03:59,754 --> 00:04:01,255
Okay.
All right, hey.
98
00:04:01,289 --> 00:04:02,522
Can somebody call the valet,
99
00:04:02,557 --> 00:04:03,824
have them bring
my Porsche around?
100
00:04:03,858 --> 00:04:05,559
Uh, this hospital
doesn't have a valet.
101
00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:10,331
Oh, no.
102
00:04:10,365 --> 00:04:14,737
That poor guy thinks
he's a valet.
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00:04:16,106 --> 00:04:17,640
Oh, my God.
104
00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:20,343
A professional football player
just asked me out at my age.
105
00:04:20,378 --> 00:04:22,812
It's the magic of Cleveland,
ladies.
106
00:04:22,847 --> 00:04:25,315
In L.A., the cut-off age for
dating a professional athlete
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00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,217
is 25.
108
00:04:27,251 --> 00:04:31,288
Well, 29 if you're willing
to date a bowler.
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00:04:31,322 --> 00:04:34,358
- Was that Jimmy Armstrong?
- Yes.
110
00:04:34,392 --> 00:04:35,759
And I'm going on a date
with him.
111
00:04:35,793 --> 00:04:38,462
[Both scream]
112
00:04:38,496 --> 00:04:39,864
Oh, my God!
113
00:04:39,898 --> 00:04:42,834
You are gonna be the envy
of every woman in Cleveland.
114
00:04:42,868 --> 00:04:44,035
You're lucky you're not
on life support.
115
00:04:44,069 --> 00:04:47,572
I'd kick that plug
right out.
116
00:04:49,643 --> 00:04:52,645
Oh, I came in here
for a reason.
117
00:04:52,679 --> 00:04:54,581
Oh, there's been
a terrible accident.
118
00:04:54,615 --> 00:04:56,416
A carny had too much to drink
at the circus
119
00:04:56,450 --> 00:05:01,455
and fired the human cannonball
right into a car full of clowns.
120
00:05:01,489 --> 00:05:02,690
There've been many serious
injuries
121
00:05:02,724 --> 00:05:04,725
and we're looking for
type AB negative blood.
122
00:05:04,759 --> 00:05:06,660
Oh, Victoria,
you have AB negative blood.
123
00:05:06,694 --> 00:05:10,463
No, I don't believe I do
anymore.
124
00:05:10,497 --> 00:05:13,166
Oh, do something selfless
for once.
125
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,900
I don't like the word
selfless.
126
00:05:14,934 --> 00:05:17,536
It implies that afterwards,
there will be less self.
127
00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:19,437
But it feels good
to do something nice
128
00:05:19,472 --> 00:05:21,773
without thinking of any Kudos.
129
00:05:21,807 --> 00:05:25,276
Kudos, you say.
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00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:27,245
This room for hero
blood donors,
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00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:32,184
is it big enough
for a camera crew?
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00:05:32,219 --> 00:05:35,388
Ladies, I have your CT scan
results.
133
00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:37,223
You could use
a little more calcium,
134
00:05:37,257 --> 00:05:39,559
but for a woman your age,
you're in fine shape.
135
00:05:39,593 --> 00:05:41,361
What about me?
136
00:05:41,395 --> 00:05:43,730
You? You're the healthiest
person I've ever seen.
137
00:05:43,765 --> 00:05:46,433
Whatever you're doing,
you keep doing it, Elka.
138
00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:49,602
What? No, no, wait!
139
00:05:49,636 --> 00:05:51,938
No, I'm not Elka.
I'm joy.
140
00:05:51,972 --> 00:05:54,440
Oh, I must've
mixed things up.
141
00:05:54,474 --> 00:05:56,676
- You're Elka?
- Yes.
142
00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:58,778
You're a medical miracle.
143
00:05:58,812 --> 00:06:00,646
You could live forever.
144
00:06:00,681 --> 00:06:02,148
Forever?
145
00:06:02,182 --> 00:06:03,583
That's fantastic.
146
00:06:03,617 --> 00:06:06,719
What a wonderful 90th
birthday present.
147
00:06:06,753 --> 00:06:08,087
Hey, what about me?
148
00:06:08,121 --> 00:06:10,623
Well, I looked a chart
and thought you were 90.
149
00:06:10,657 --> 00:06:14,027
Do I need to spell it out?
150
00:06:14,061 --> 00:06:16,963
So what should I do?
151
00:06:18,398 --> 00:06:19,732
Go red for women.
152
00:06:19,766 --> 00:06:21,867
It's from the American
Heart Association.
153
00:06:21,901 --> 00:06:24,537
Just a few small changes
could make a big difference.
154
00:06:24,571 --> 00:06:29,909
Quit smoking, limit
fatty foods, salt, and alcohol.
155
00:06:29,943 --> 00:06:31,811
Well, at least I can still
have sex.
156
00:06:31,846 --> 00:06:35,749
Well, with your brittle bones,
I'd be careful.
157
00:06:35,783 --> 00:06:39,887
The average Cleveland man
could snap you like a twig.
158
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,655
They're ready for you
in the O.R.
159
00:06:41,690 --> 00:06:46,993
Oh, good.
Send in the clowns.
160
00:06:48,596 --> 00:06:54,133
Don't bother.
They're here.
161
00:06:54,168 --> 00:06:55,835
Okay, you might still be
a little woozy,
162
00:06:55,869 --> 00:06:57,136
so try not to get up
too quickly.
163
00:06:57,170 --> 00:06:58,470
What?
You're done?
164
00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,672
But the news crew
isn't here yet.
165
00:07:00,707 --> 00:07:03,509
Do it again.
166
00:07:03,543 --> 00:07:05,277
No, you need to get your
blood sugar back up.
167
00:07:05,311 --> 00:07:06,512
Have a cookie.
168
00:07:06,546 --> 00:07:07,680
- Is it fat free?
- No.
169
00:07:07,714 --> 00:07:09,081
No, thank you.
170
00:07:09,116 --> 00:07:11,717
- Glass of orange juice?
- Is it vodka free?
171
00:07:11,752 --> 00:07:15,822
- Yes.
- No, thank you.
172
00:07:15,857 --> 00:07:18,692
[Distant chatter]
What is that?
173
00:07:18,726 --> 00:07:20,794
It's a television crew.
174
00:07:20,828 --> 00:07:23,197
I'm in here!
175
00:07:28,971 --> 00:07:31,906
Where am I?
Did I die?
176
00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:34,675
What is... is this heaven?
177
00:07:34,710 --> 00:07:36,343
[Gasps]
178
00:07:36,378 --> 00:07:37,611
A spotlight.
179
00:07:37,645 --> 00:07:42,749
All on me.
Oh, this is heaven.
180
00:07:46,888 --> 00:07:50,991
But if I'm in heaven then...
Where is God?
181
00:07:51,026 --> 00:07:54,329
[Angelic choir]
182
00:07:54,364 --> 00:07:59,935
Welcome, my child.
183
00:08:02,875 --> 00:08:05,176
- Elka, you're God?
- Yes.
184
00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:08,579
Wait.
185
00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:12,650
That's not the nose
I gave you.
186
00:08:12,684 --> 00:08:13,984
The nose you gave me
187
00:08:14,019 --> 00:08:17,322
would only have let me play
character parts.
188
00:08:17,356 --> 00:08:20,492
I can't believe that I got
into heaven.
189
00:08:20,526 --> 00:08:23,329
I've broken, like,
a million commandments.
190
00:08:23,363 --> 00:08:25,198
Coveted everything.
191
00:08:25,232 --> 00:08:29,335
I have pledged thousands
to PBS and never paid.
192
00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:31,972
I just wanted to hear them
say my name on TV.
193
00:08:32,006 --> 00:08:35,909
Quiet,
there's been a mistake.
194
00:08:35,944 --> 00:08:39,246
I meant to summon
Victoria principal...
195
00:08:39,281 --> 00:08:42,316
Not Victoria chase.
196
00:08:42,350 --> 00:08:45,819
Oh, stupid auto correct.
197
00:08:45,854 --> 00:08:48,388
So I'm not supposed
to be in heaven?
198
00:08:48,423 --> 00:08:52,025
No.
Walk away from the light.
199
00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:53,994
Well, am I ever supposed
to be in heaven?
200
00:08:54,028 --> 00:08:57,631
Walk away from the light.
201
00:08:57,665 --> 00:08:59,265
Can I just ask you
one thing?
202
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:03,136
Who do I have to sleep with
to win an Oscar?
203
00:09:03,170 --> 00:09:05,472
It certainly wasn't
Quentin Tarantino.
204
00:09:05,506 --> 00:09:10,843
I wish I could take that back.
205
00:09:10,878 --> 00:09:14,581
Cut the light.
Wrong Victoria.
206
00:09:18,687 --> 00:09:22,355
Quentin Tarantino.
Original nose.
207
00:09:25,793 --> 00:09:28,429
Mel? Joy?
208
00:09:28,463 --> 00:09:29,931
I'm not dead?
209
00:09:29,965 --> 00:09:31,933
No, darling,
you just had a bad fall.
210
00:09:31,967 --> 00:09:34,902
The only one dying
around here is me.
211
00:09:34,937 --> 00:09:38,005
And in more good news...
212
00:09:38,039 --> 00:09:40,207
I'm immortal.
213
00:09:40,242 --> 00:09:41,775
You are?
214
00:09:41,810 --> 00:09:45,045
But where is your cloud
and your heavenly iPad?
215
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,213
Oh, you know what?
216
00:09:46,247 --> 00:09:47,514
The doctor said
you might be disoriented.
217
00:09:47,549 --> 00:09:48,816
So I'm gonna go tell him
you're awake, okay?
218
00:09:48,850 --> 00:09:50,818
And I'm gonna smoke
my last cigarette.
219
00:09:50,852 --> 00:09:52,419
Hey, you told us you quit
years ago.
220
00:09:52,454 --> 00:09:54,288
I tell you a lot of things.
221
00:09:57,325 --> 00:10:00,127
Why are you staring at me?
222
00:10:00,162 --> 00:10:03,230
I just had the craziest
dream.
223
00:10:03,264 --> 00:10:05,332
I mean, I must've just
knocked myself silly
224
00:10:05,367 --> 00:10:09,903
because I dreamt
that you were God.
225
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,910
I am God.
226
00:10:17,944 --> 00:10:20,178
Oh, cut it out.
Come on.
227
00:10:20,213 --> 00:10:23,381
If you're God,
then what am I think right now?
228
00:10:23,416 --> 00:10:25,150
You're wishing
you were more famous.
229
00:10:25,184 --> 00:10:29,253
[Gasp]
230
00:10:29,288 --> 00:10:30,821
Anybody could've guess that.
231
00:10:30,856 --> 00:10:36,260
Could anybody have known
about your original nose?
232
00:10:36,295 --> 00:10:38,897
You mean the chase family
beak?
233
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:40,398
That is my deepest,
darkest secret.
234
00:10:40,433 --> 00:10:44,769
Really? Not sleeping
with Quentin Tarantino?
235
00:10:44,804 --> 00:10:46,105
You know that too?
236
00:10:46,139 --> 00:10:50,276
You couldn't know that
unless you were...
237
00:10:50,310 --> 00:10:52,846
All right, does anyone else know
that you're...
238
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,014
[Whispering] God?
239
00:10:55,049 --> 00:10:56,749
Only you.
240
00:10:56,784 --> 00:10:58,851
And you can't tell anybody
241
00:10:58,885 --> 00:11:03,856
or...Lo, your thighs
will grow immense.
242
00:11:03,890 --> 00:11:08,127
And your Emmy
will turn to dust.
243
00:11:08,161 --> 00:11:10,496
But why are you revealing
yourself to me now?
244
00:11:10,530 --> 00:11:14,032
Because you're so brilliant
and talented.
245
00:11:14,066 --> 00:11:16,668
That makes sense.
246
00:11:16,702 --> 00:11:20,606
And because I want you
to change your ways.
247
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,776
You need to be kind
and generous.
248
00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:27,612
And do charitable works.
That's not so bad.
249
00:11:27,647 --> 00:11:30,948
Without alerting the media.
250
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:34,451
You're a vengeful God.
251
00:11:39,023 --> 00:11:40,323
[Gasp] Joy!
252
00:11:40,358 --> 00:11:41,858
I'm so proud of you.
Look at that heart-healthy meal.
253
00:11:41,892 --> 00:11:44,527
Heart disease is
the number one killer of women.
254
00:11:44,562 --> 00:11:46,729
Heart disease is the number one
killer of me.
255
00:11:46,764 --> 00:11:50,634
Many women don't personalize
the risk.
256
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:55,939
Look at you
with new fun things to say.
257
00:11:55,974 --> 00:11:58,208
Don't patronize me!
I'm in a hideous mood.
258
00:11:58,242 --> 00:12:03,279
This morning, I drank tea
made from a nicotine patch.
259
00:12:03,314 --> 00:12:04,614
Where's Victoria?
260
00:12:04,648 --> 00:12:06,816
She said she and Elka
were going to a soup kitchen.
261
00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:08,551
What?
That doesn't make sense.
262
00:12:08,586 --> 00:12:12,188
Stop yelling at me!
I'm doing the best I can!
263
00:12:12,223 --> 00:12:14,657
All right, all right.
They're at a soup kitchen.
264
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:15,825
Boy, Victoria must've
hit her head
265
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,160
a lot harder
than we thought, huh?
266
00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:18,995
[Phone chiming]
Ooh! Google alert.
267
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,764
[Gasp] Oh, wait till
you see this.
268
00:12:20,798 --> 00:12:22,999
Please let it be a study
that says alcohol and tobacco
269
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,667
are the new broccoli.
270
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:28,238
No, it's a picture of me
and Jimmy on Cleveland.Com.
271
00:12:28,273 --> 00:12:31,074
"Jimmy Armstrong in the VIP
section of the velvet tango room
272
00:12:31,109 --> 00:12:33,477
with unidentified brunette
arm candy."
273
00:12:33,511 --> 00:12:35,779
I've never been called
arm candy!
274
00:12:35,813 --> 00:12:39,650
In L.A., at best,
I was a sensible arm snack.
275
00:12:39,684 --> 00:12:42,386
And it really doesn't bother
you that he's not that bright.
276
00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:45,656
Bup, bup, bup.
He's very interesting.
277
00:12:45,691 --> 00:12:47,926
He's not interesting.
He's famous.
278
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,828
You're looking at him
through fame goggles,
279
00:12:49,862 --> 00:12:55,166
when in reality, he is about
as dumb and stupid as this milk.
280
00:12:55,201 --> 00:12:58,436
Oh, why can't 2% be
the alcohol content?
281
00:12:58,471 --> 00:13:00,072
[Knocking]
Knock, knock!
282
00:13:00,106 --> 00:13:06,078
It's his thing.
283
00:13:06,113 --> 00:13:07,480
Hey, why didn't
you come out?
284
00:13:07,514 --> 00:13:13,185
I yelled "honk, honk"
from the car.
285
00:13:17,223 --> 00:13:19,623
Wow, that was so much fun.
286
00:13:19,658 --> 00:13:21,292
I mean, people just go crazy
around you.
287
00:13:21,326 --> 00:13:22,626
When was the last time
you paid for a meal?
288
00:13:22,660 --> 00:13:24,528
When was the last time
you paid for anything?
289
00:13:24,562 --> 00:13:26,563
Well, I haven't carried
a wallet since '98.
290
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:27,897
Oh, is that the year
you got drafted?
291
00:13:27,931 --> 00:13:30,899
No, it's the year
I lost my wallet.
292
00:13:30,934 --> 00:13:33,469
You know what?
Uh, Melanie, I been thinking.
293
00:13:33,503 --> 00:13:38,107
- Really?
- Yeah.
294
00:13:38,142 --> 00:13:39,709
To make the playoffs
this year,
295
00:13:39,743 --> 00:13:42,111
we have to win
our final four games.
296
00:13:42,145 --> 00:13:48,118
Problem is we only have
one game left to play.
297
00:13:48,152 --> 00:13:50,053
Yes, I can see how
that would be a problem.
298
00:13:50,088 --> 00:13:52,523
But um, there's always
next year.
299
00:13:52,557 --> 00:13:54,791
Actually, I don't even
wanna play the next game.
300
00:13:54,826 --> 00:13:56,693
This is it for me.
I'm done.
301
00:13:56,728 --> 00:14:00,930
159 games is a nice
round number.
302
00:14:00,964 --> 00:14:02,465
No, no.
No, no, no.
303
00:14:02,499 --> 00:14:04,566
No, you have to at least
finish out the season.
304
00:14:04,601 --> 00:14:06,134
You know what?
You're right.
305
00:14:06,169 --> 00:14:08,136
I could at least finish out
the last game.
306
00:14:08,170 --> 00:14:12,674
What's the worst thing
that could happen?
307
00:14:12,708 --> 00:14:15,077
Jimmy, I feel awful
for talking you into playing.
308
00:14:15,111 --> 00:14:16,478
Don't.
309
00:14:16,513 --> 00:14:19,181
The good news is now we get
to spend more time together
310
00:14:19,216 --> 00:14:20,416
as regular people.
311
00:14:20,450 --> 00:14:23,853
Oh, yeah,
that is good news.
312
00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:27,825
What are you doing here,
Victoria?
313
00:14:27,859 --> 00:14:32,296
Oh, you know, God's work.
314
00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:34,832
So you wanna go back
to the SpongeBob marathon?
315
00:14:34,867 --> 00:14:36,167
Sure! Why not?
316
00:14:36,201 --> 00:14:39,203
Ooh, or we could talk about,
after we die,
317
00:14:39,237 --> 00:14:43,541
whether we'd rather come back
as a shrimp or a clam.
318
00:14:43,576 --> 00:14:46,778
I think my answer
may surprise you.
319
00:14:46,812 --> 00:14:48,546
How come nobody told me
Jimmy is dumb?
320
00:14:48,581 --> 00:14:51,883
And the fame goggles
are off.
321
00:14:51,917 --> 00:14:56,588
Fame is a false idol.
322
00:14:56,622 --> 00:14:58,990
What is going on here?
You're volunteering.
323
00:14:59,025 --> 00:15:01,693
You're helping the needy.
And... [gasps].
324
00:15:01,727 --> 00:15:05,063
Is that your natural
hair color?
325
00:15:07,501 --> 00:15:13,473
It's the color God gave me.
326
00:15:13,507 --> 00:15:15,141
Oh, you've gotta be
kidding me.
327
00:15:15,176 --> 00:15:17,176
In your living will,
it says "do not resuscitate"
328
00:15:17,211 --> 00:15:20,447
if your roots start to show.
329
00:15:20,481 --> 00:15:22,048
So she really is dowdy?
330
00:15:22,082 --> 00:15:23,616
I just thought ever since
I stopped drinking,
331
00:15:23,651 --> 00:15:25,485
everyone looks terrible.
332
00:15:25,519 --> 00:15:30,957
- I don't look bad.
- O-kay.
333
00:15:30,991 --> 00:15:33,392
Okay, what am I gonna do
about Jimmy?
334
00:15:33,426 --> 00:15:36,060
I have to break up with him
but it's my fault he got hurt.
335
00:15:36,095 --> 00:15:38,229
What you need is some
little tramp to seduce him
336
00:15:38,263 --> 00:15:40,264
so you can dump him
guilt free.
337
00:15:40,298 --> 00:15:41,598
Joy, that's a great idea.
338
00:15:41,633 --> 00:15:44,234
I can walk in,
catch you in bed with him,
339
00:15:44,268 --> 00:15:48,036
break up, and everybody's hands
are clean.
340
00:15:48,071 --> 00:15:50,071
Did you just call me
a tramp?
341
00:15:50,106 --> 00:15:53,107
No, I think you said it.
342
00:15:53,142 --> 00:15:55,243
Please?
Oh, fine.
343
00:15:55,277 --> 00:15:57,111
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, no, no, no.
344
00:15:57,146 --> 00:16:00,481
Mel, isn't what you're asking
joy to do a sin?
345
00:16:00,515 --> 00:16:03,250
Well, isn't it?
346
00:16:03,284 --> 00:16:04,451
I don't think so.
347
00:16:04,486 --> 00:16:09,090
Well, then neither do I.
348
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,611
Hello, Jimmy.
349
00:16:18,646 --> 00:16:24,418
You're look very...
350
00:16:24,452 --> 00:16:26,587
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
351
00:16:26,622 --> 00:16:28,156
I just gave up smoking,
352
00:16:28,190 --> 00:16:31,660
and I'm still bringing up
a lot of phlegm.
353
00:16:31,694 --> 00:16:35,097
I mean...
354
00:16:35,131 --> 00:16:36,765
I want to get to know you
better, Jimmy.
355
00:16:36,799 --> 00:16:38,967
Oh, okay, that sounds good.
356
00:16:39,001 --> 00:16:40,501
Uh, why don't you
come over here,
357
00:16:40,536 --> 00:16:41,769
help me find what's out of place
in this picture?
358
00:16:41,803 --> 00:16:43,370
I've already found one.
359
00:16:43,405 --> 00:16:47,207
I mean, what is a snowman
doing in a pumpkin patch?
360
00:16:47,242 --> 00:16:49,509
Oh, Jimmy.
361
00:16:49,543 --> 00:16:52,312
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.
362
00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:54,380
The only thing wrong
with this picture
363
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:58,385
is that I'm not with you.
364
00:16:58,419 --> 00:17:01,488
Well, why would we be
in a pumpkin patch?
365
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:03,657
I'm talking about
the bigger picture.
366
00:17:03,691 --> 00:17:08,696
All I see is you and me
and a bed.
367
00:17:10,064 --> 00:17:11,832
And there's
some medical equipment.
368
00:17:11,866 --> 00:17:13,067
And a TV.
369
00:17:13,101 --> 00:17:14,901
I'm not listing things
in the room, you idiot!
370
00:17:14,936 --> 00:17:18,973
I'm trying to seduce you!
371
00:17:19,007 --> 00:17:21,509
Joy, what are you doing
in bed with my boyfriend?
372
00:17:21,543 --> 00:17:24,379
Joy, why aren't you in bed
with my boyfriend?
373
00:17:27,283 --> 00:17:30,251
And I... I just don't think
it's gonna work out with us.
374
00:17:30,286 --> 00:17:31,653
But I should've just
told you that
375
00:17:31,687 --> 00:17:33,422
instead of doing that
silly stunt with joy.
376
00:17:33,456 --> 00:17:35,657
Melanie, I just want you
to be happy.
377
00:17:35,691 --> 00:17:38,126
And if that means we should
break up, then so be it.
378
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,462
Aw, don't look so sad.
You'll find somebody new.
379
00:17:41,496 --> 00:17:42,864
Once you get
out of this hospital
380
00:17:42,898 --> 00:17:45,366
and your leg gets
rehabilitated...
381
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,435
Oh, hey, you wanna be
my new girlfriend?
382
00:17:47,469 --> 00:17:49,003
Of course!
Who wouldn't?
383
00:17:49,037 --> 00:17:51,439
She wouldn't.
384
00:17:51,473 --> 00:17:54,942
What are you, stupid?
385
00:18:10,776 --> 00:18:14,211
Very funny, joy.
386
00:18:14,246 --> 00:18:17,515
Thank you all
for a wonderful birthday week.
387
00:18:17,549 --> 00:18:22,019
Oh, Melanie, thank you
for the brown's locker room.
388
00:18:22,054 --> 00:18:24,922
And joy, thank you
for the champagne.
389
00:18:24,957 --> 00:18:28,693
It's my favorite.
Enjoy it in good health.
390
00:18:28,727 --> 00:18:30,227
[Whimpers]
391
00:18:30,262 --> 00:18:33,230
That's it!
We're having an intervention.
392
00:18:33,264 --> 00:18:37,567
Joy, you have
to start drinking again.
393
00:18:39,337 --> 00:18:43,440
Like life, you're very hard
to take without alcohol.
394
00:18:45,843 --> 00:18:50,480
Hello, old friend.
395
00:18:50,514 --> 00:18:52,848
Give up something else.
396
00:18:52,883 --> 00:18:55,284
I mean, just cut back
on everything else.
397
00:18:55,319 --> 00:18:58,287
Oh, she's right.
From God's lips to your ears.
398
00:19:02,493 --> 00:19:04,494
Elka, told us this morning
that she had you convinced
399
00:19:04,528 --> 00:19:06,129
she was God.
400
00:19:06,164 --> 00:19:07,898
Oh, no.
401
00:19:07,932 --> 00:19:11,001
You know the joke's on
all of you
402
00:19:11,035 --> 00:19:14,371
because I knew all along.
403
00:19:14,405 --> 00:19:16,773
Wait, wait.
How did you know all my secrets?
404
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:19,042
You were mumbling
in your sleep at the hospital.
405
00:19:19,076 --> 00:19:22,812
So you put me through
all of that just for a joke?
406
00:19:22,847 --> 00:19:25,715
Yes!
407
00:19:25,749 --> 00:19:28,217
No.
408
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:32,455
You couldn't even give blood
without a camera crew.
409
00:19:32,489 --> 00:19:34,924
I just thought it was time
somebody gave you a push
410
00:19:34,958 --> 00:19:37,993
in the right direction.
411
00:19:38,027 --> 00:19:41,597
Well, you may not be
totally wrong.
412
00:19:41,632 --> 00:19:44,501
I mean, helping others
really wasn't so bad.
413
00:19:44,535 --> 00:19:47,204
It made me...Feel good
about myself
414
00:19:47,238 --> 00:19:49,239
in a new and different way.
415
00:19:49,274 --> 00:19:51,141
You know, I might still
keep on doing it.
416
00:19:51,176 --> 00:19:54,612
But like joy...
Only in moderation.
417
00:19:54,647 --> 00:19:56,348
I am going to light
the candles.
418
00:19:56,382 --> 00:19:58,049
Yes.
To Elka.
419
00:19:58,083 --> 00:20:02,688
You may not be God,
but you are certainly divine.
420
00:20:03,957 --> 00:20:08,461
If I were God, my birthday
wish would come true.
421
00:20:14,434 --> 00:20:17,236
What are you still doing here?
422
00:20:17,237 --> 00:20:23,237
Sync and corrected by Rafael UPD
www.Addic7ed.Com/
423
00:20:23,287 --> 00:20:27,837
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