All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s03e10 One in Every Crowd.eng

( theme song playing )

I've never had
such bad cards.

Let's try a little
five-card stud.

Everybody ante a dollar.

All right.

Pot's light.

Are you in, Newkirk?

No, I'm not in yet.

Pot's right.

Ten, eight, three,
a jack

and a big king for me.

How about that, huh?
I'm high.

I bet two dollars.

You're high all right, Williams.

You stink.

What's your problem, pal?

You're dealing from
the bottom.

That's the problem, mate.

Hey, let go.

He's got a king
on the table, right, gentlemen?

There's a king right at
the bottom of this deck

ready when he wants
to palm it.

CARTER:
Cheat.

Salle vache!

You twister!

You're just ganging up
on me 'cause I'm winning.

Yeah, well, I'm going
to sort you out.

Come on, Newkirk.

Stop it, Newkirk.

Come on, get up.

Wait a minute.
Break it up.

Break it up!
Break it up!

Isn't there enough
war for you guys?

Newkirk caught him
dealing off the bottom.

He's a liar!
Knock it off!

Knock it off.

The game's over.

Take back the money
you started with.

Are you kidding?
I won it, I keep it.

You can't order me
to give back my money.

Look, Williams, I've had it
right up to here with you.

You've been thrown out
of every barracks in camp.

Can I help it
if I'm popular?

I also know you've
been stealing our Red Cross packages

and selling them
to the Krauts.

Prove it, sir.

I will... at
your court martial.

The game's over.

Take back the money
and give him his.

( all shouting )

Come on, break it up,
will ya!

Dance, two, three...

Dance, two, three.

Get the lead out.

Make this a dancing war.

That's beautiful.

At ease.

Oh, all right, all right.
Remember your partners.

We'll get to the tango next.

Now I have
seen everything.

Dancing lessons
at midnight.

Midnight?

Where has the time gone?

It is true,
Herr Kommandant.

Whenever I go out
to a dance,

I look at my watch and,
all of a sudden,

I realize that the time...

Oh, shut up.

Commandant, I'd bet
you'd make a great dancer.

You have natural rhythm.

I can tell
the way you move.

Schultz, put
this man on report

for severe
disciplinary action.

My own personal
attention.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

The next time,
Colonel Hogan,

that you give
dancing lessons,

perhaps you'd
be kind enough to invite me, hmm?

Oh, fine.

We'll have to get
you a partner. Volunteer?

May I have the honor
of the next waltz, Monsieur Commandant?

Put this man
on report, too.

Traitor.

I can't help it.
I love to dance.

Hey, kid, can I
talk to you a minute?

Colonel, the Kraut captain
just went into Klink's office.

All right,
let's listen.

KLINK:
A new fuel pump?

Yes, sir. The old one
cannot be repaired.

I must go
to Dusseldorf

to have
the new pump made.

But that may
take a week.

And you expect to leave
that truck and that thing here?

Colonel, I did
not choose your camp.

My engine started going bad.

I needed a safe place.

This is a safe place.

I feel safe here.
Don't you?

Oh, it's safe,
all right.

The safest in the world.

KLINK:
And the reason

for our record is that I permit
no disruption of our routine.

Yes, sir.

I'm afraid I cannot
accommodate you, Captain.

Please take your truck
and its cargo some other place.

I have orders.

The only orders that
I'm interested in

are my own orders.

"All ranks are ordered to extend
complete cooperation...

assist him without question..."
Mm-hmm.

"...failure, punishable...
execution by firing squad."

Signed, General Yodel
for the Fuhrer.

Glad to have you
with us, Captain.

Thank you.

He may get a room
with a bath.

Colonel, you will undertake
security arrangements

while I'm in Dusseldorf, ja?

Certainly. By all means.

And, uh... may one ask
what one is guarding?

It is the S-5.

Prototype of a new
88 millimeter

recoilless field gun.

My mission is
to deliver it to one of our

ordnance factories
in France,

where it will go into
production at once.

But, Colonel...

top secret.

It was top secret.

LeBeau, tell Kinch
to get word to London.

Tell them everything
we heard.

Right, Colonel.

They may want to try
bombing that gun

while it's here
and stationary.

Bomb it in camp?

We're here
and stationary as well, you know.

War entails a certain risk.

Didn't your draft board
tell you guys anything?

It's the only
flashlight I've got.

I'll buy it
off you, okay?

You don't have
to buy it.

I'll give it to you.

Hey, you're
all right, kid. Thanks.

But you're making
a mistake, boy.

Oh, don't start
that again.

I'm going out of here...
tonight.

Right after bed check.

Colonel Hogan gave the orders--
no escaping without permission.

Now, I remember the day
he said that. I real...

Who cares what Hogan says?

He knows the score.

And he's a pretty good guy.

He's an officer.

Well, we all have our faults.

Look, are you going to give me
the flashlight, or...?

I'll see you later, kid.

Yeah, okay.

Negotiating to buy a pair
of crooked dice, Carter?

Colonel, he's going
to break out of here tonight.

Williams has been
threatening to break out

ever since he got here,
but he always chickens out.

Yeah, well, if he
needs any help,

I'll hold the bloody
Germans up

with me bare hands.

The Eighth Air Force
has a previous engagement.

I figured.

They want us
to destroy the gun.

Set the Krauts back
at least six months.

Sir, may I suggest a good
old-fashioned demolition pack

with a short-time fuse?

All right.
Get started.

Make it a good one.

Don't give us
too many duds.

Since when do one of my
demolition packs ever conk out?

Come on.
We are touchy today, Carter.

It's the mark of a true artist.

Picasso felt
the same way about his work.

Picasso?
What did he ever blow up?

( branch cracks )

( Schultz yells )

Johann, a tourist.

Guten Abend, tourist.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

I used to have
a suit like this.

But, of course, mine was made
out of much better material.

Not made out
of a blanket.

Forward march!

Eins, zwei, drei.

KLINK:
Food, maps,

flashlight.

He ordered it by mail
from a catalog.

Silence.

I can believe it.

The suit
looks terrible.

This is not
a style show.

You can say
that again.

The next thing I might say is
to order you to pack your things

to go to the Russian front.

Williams,
you chose

a very bad time.

We are extremely security
conscious these days

for certain reasons.

So I'm going to have
to make an example of you.

30 days in the cooler,

followed by 30 days
confinement in the barracks

and no privileges.

What?!

Pretty stiff
punishment, Commandant.

Wearing civilian clothes,
carrying maps.

I could have him shot
as a spy without a trial.

He's right, Williams.

Whose side are
you on, Hogan?

The same side as you,
unfortunately.

Ah, little trouble
in the family.

Sir, I want to talk
for myself.

I don't need
Colonel Hogan's help.

Hogan, dismissed.

I'm senior POW officer here

and, if you're going
to interrogate him...

I said dismissed.

Schultz, take Hogan back
to the barracks at once.

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.

But if he
won't go?

If he won't go, you might
say "pretty please."

Out!

I'm warning you,
Williams...

I said out.

All right, if he wants
to join your side,

you're welcome to him.

Pretty please.

All right, talk.

I got information.

I want a deal.

You are hardly
in a position...

It's military, Colonel.

And it concerns you.

But I got
to have my price.

Revoke my sentence,

transfer me out of here
to Berlin

or any other place where
I can live till the war's over,

and enough money to get away.

Is that all, huh?

How about a nice villa
at the Riviera,

with dancing girls and
champagne foot baths?

What I got is worth
it to you.

But you have no assurance

I won't take
all that information

and have you shot anyway.

I'm not worried.

You'll know why when you hear
what I got to say.

Well, he's selling us out, sir--
and at bargain prices, too.

Did he say
anything yet?

Not yet,

but he knows most
of the operation.

We used him on
one assignment.

Carter, you're
friendly with Williams.

Yes, sir,
in a way.

But I resent that.

We've got to keep
tabs on him.

See if you can get the job

delivering his meals
in the cooler.

A couple of candy bars
for Schultz will take care of that.

All right.

Do you think he'd really
blow the whistle

on us, Colonel,
or is he stalling?

If he does, we may
never get a chance

at that gun out there.

We may never get a chance
at anything again.

That's correct,
General Burkhalter.

Military information. Mm-hmm.

But he wants his freedom
in return, and money.

Yes. Yes. Find out
if the information is valuable.

Uh-huh. String him along.

Ah, that's an excellent idea.
General Burkhalter. Excellent.

What? What? Oh, yes, sir.

I can handle it.
After all, I'm a colonel.

What?

We might win the war anyway.

That's terribly amusing,
General Burkhalter.

Thank you for your advice.

Heil Hitler.

He wouldn't do
a thing like that.

Oh, yeah? Well, I say
he tipped off the Krauts,

and he let me take this rap.

Well,
you're wrong.

He did everything
he could out there.

Schultz was there.
What do you think?

The potatoes
need salt.

Next time I go out
of this dump,

it's going to be right
through the main gate,

with money in my pocket.

And the beans
need salt, too.

I got a deal cooking
with the Krauts.

They'll shoot you
the minute you step out of camp.

Yeah? Well,
I'll take my chances.

Come on. You
can' trust those guys.

No offense,
Schultz.

I would rather
shoot the cook.

Hey!

KLINK:
Schultz!

Achtung!

Nice little kaffeeklatsch, huh?

No, Herr Kommandant.
I think it is tea.

Komamndant, I was
testing the prisoner's food

to be sure it
is not dangerous.

It is fine.

Very good, Sergeant.

You, out!

Yes, sir.

KLINK:
We might do a little business

if you can convince me that

your information is reliable.

Oh. A little sample,
Colonel?

You might put it
that way. Yes.

Yes, it's
all right.

Okay. Remember,
about four weeks ago,

the railroad bridge
at Heindorf blew up?

Remember? Ha!

The explosion
threw me out of bed.

Shut up!

The Gestapo
is investigating.

They suspect
sabotage.

Oh, yeah?
Well, good luck to them.

It was done
with a delayed-fuse bomb

on the north side.

Does that
ring a bell?

Yes. What else
do you know about it?

No more free samples,
Colonel.

You know my terms.

The Heindorf
railroad bridge?

Yep. He's using
it to bait Klink.

That's one of the jobs
he worked on with us, Colonel.

Let me take his food
in tomorrow, sir.

He'll have a nice lunch,

and after which will
be a lovely funeral.

Ours or his?

Klink would nail
us just like that.

Carter, tell Kinch to get
in touch with the underground.

I want to talk
to one of their boys tonight.

His code name
is Felix. Right.

LeBeau?
Yes, sir?

I want you to meet him
and guide him in

through the emergency tunnel.
Right, Colonel.

Well, what's
your plan, sir?

Well, we've got
to stop Williams,

but use him as a
diversion so we can knock out that gun.

With all due respect, sir,
you're dreaming.

If you've got a better
dream, I want to hear it.

So far, so good.

Here you are, Felix,
slip into this. All right.

I think you'll find
it's a perfect fit.

Hmm.

Hey, marvelous.

Yeah.
Look at this.

Could've been made
by a Savile Row tailor.

FELIX:
Yeah. It feels comfortable, you know?

Yeah, fine.

All right, these are
your orders, "Major Weber."

Oh?

Oh. Signed by
General Burkhalter.

Otherwise known
as Sergeant Kinchloe.

All right, now,
you got the...

you got the plan
straight?

I think so, Colonel.

Now, let's talk
about a girl.

Yeah, any girl.
Let's talk and talk and talk.

Well, there is a girl
named, uh, Maria Schmidt.

She's worked
with us before.

Very cool, not
afraid of danger.

LeBEAU ( chuckles ):
Just your type.

Fine. She'll be
your assistant-- the secretary.

She'll handle
the paperwork. I understand.

Remember, when the job's over,
get out of camp fast.

But leave
Fraulein Schmidt.

The corporal, uh,
he has been away from home too long?

Yeah. You don't have
to worry about

the Germans stopping you--
he's your biggest danger.

( phone ringing )

Heil Hitler. Who is this?

Gestapo!

Heil Hitler, and good evening.

I've been talking to
General Burkhalter

about the prisoner
who offered you some information.

Oh, yes, sir. I have
interrogated the prisoner again,

just as the general ordered.

Excellent. Now, the Gestapo
wants you to come to Berlin

at once for a conference
with General Burkhalter.

You must coordinate your
activities in this case.

Well, sir, I'm not sure.
With my duties here, I...

What duties?

Ach! You
Luftwaffe officers!

A ten-year-old boy
could handle your job.

Well, sir, I'm afraid
there's not one available.

The Gestapo will
send a Luftwaffe officer, Major Weber,

who will take over
command while you are away.

He will be accompanied
by his secretary, Fraulein Schmidt.

Be with you in one
moment, mein Fuhrer.

Yes, mein Fuhrer, I
made it a collect call.

Klink, are you
still with us?

Sir, I certainly am.

I shall leave for Berlin the
moment Major Weber arrives here.

I can hardly wait.
That's all.

Thank you, sir.

Now I shall go back
to my efficiency reports.

Yes, you may
resume sleeping.

Heil Hitler.

Coming, mein Fuhrer.

All right.
One down, one to go.

Burkhalter now, sir?
Same story.

Tell him that the Gestapo
wants him to confer with Klink

about the case, and that
Klink will arrive shortly,

and the Gestapo will supply
Klink's replacement. All right, sir.

You know, these
long-distance calls

run into quite
a bit of money.

Well, don't worry.
It's after 6:00.

Now, this is
a highly secret weapon

on its way to France,

and temporarily
my responsibility,

which must have
maximum security guard at all times.

I understand, sir.
Make a note of that, Fraulein Schmidt.

Jawohl, Herr Major.
And there's a prisoner in the cooler.

He must be watched
very carefully-- Williams.

I will see to it,
Herr Kommandant.

Oh, this is Colonel Hogan,
Senior POW Officer.

Major Weber will be temporarily
in charge during my absence.

Now, you obey his orders,
and there will be no trouble.

I expect full
cooperation. Right.

I feel I already
know the major.

Mm-hmm. This is Schultz,
Sergeant of the Guards.

Sergeant.

I expect to rely
on him very heavily.

Mm-hmm. Well...

he's here, anyway.

Auf Wiedersehen!

( speaks German )

Have a nice trip, and don't take
any wooden swastikas.

( chuckles ):
Now we can relax.

Achtung!

Eyes front!
At attention!

Jawohl,
Herr Major! Sergeant,

you will bring
the prisoner Williams

to the Commandant's
office, at once!

Jawohl, Herr Major!

Sheesh!

Everybody wants
to be a big shot.

He's mean.

But that Fraulein
Schmidt... Ooh!

Come on, Schultz.
Don't you start.

Berlin has decided
to meet your terms, Williams.

Everything?

Free pass out of here,
place to live, money?

Everything.

You will dictate
the information you have,

every detail,
to Fraulein Schmidt.

Okay. I'm ready.

That's it.

Now, you live up
to your end of the bargain.

Don't worry.

Herr Major, you
wanted Colonel Hogan.

Yes. Take this man
back to the cooler

and return immediately.

Jawohl, Herr Major!

Come on. Da-da-da-da.

So long, Hogan.

I'll see you in church.

Wouldn't do you
any harm, wise guy.

He is a traitor.

Ooh, I hate that man.

You've got company.

Here is the information
he dictated to Maria.

Oh, brother!

Names, dates,
the works.

Yeah. And this is
the fake information.

He signed it along with the rest
of the papers without realizing.

Thanks. You've
done a great job.

( knocking )

Herr Major,

the prisoner has been
returned to the cooler,

and I am here.

Sergeant, I must return
to Berlin at once.

You will give this
to Colonel Klink

the moment he returns
to Stalag 13.

It is of the utmost
importance. Understood?

Jawohl, Herr Major!

Until the colonel returns,

you will be in charge
of this office.

Me? In charge?

Is correct.

I have informed
Colonel Hogan.

I'd ask for more
money, Schultz.

Silence!

Take over, Sergeant.

Fraulein,
we must be on our way.

Auf Wiedersehen.
Heil Hitler.

( Schultz humming cheerfully )

You're in the boss'
chair real quick.

How's it feel, big shot?

Ah! Don't.

Stand at attention when
you talk to the man in charge.

Yes, sir.
That's better.

Dismissed.

Colonel Hogan.

I didn't mean it.

( snoring )

Oh! Herr Kommandant!

What's going on here?

Oh, Herr Kommandant,

Major Weber was
recalled to Berlin,

and he left me in charge
of the office.

You?

What's the Third
Reich coming to?

I am ordered to a conference in
Berlin with General Burkhalter.

The Gestapo doesn't show up.

We sit and talk about
things we already know.

Oh, Herr Kommandant,

Major Weber left you
this. Very important.

Mm-hmm.

It's signed by Williams.

It's the information.

"Small-arms factory
in Hammelburg

will be attacked by saboteurs
on the 17th."

That's tonight, Schultz.

Look alive! I want every
available man assembled.

Combat equipment.

We move out in 15 minutes.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

But how about the trucks
and the guns and the guards

for the prisoner, Williams,
please, in the cooler?

I said every
available man!

Now, I am putting
you in charge of communications here

until this operation
is over. Out!

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

Get every man
in that truck!

Go! Let's go!
Everybody in!

Schultz!

Let's go! Now!

( Schultz shouting in German )

There they go.
The gun is not guarded, Colonel.

All right. Newkirk,
LeBeau, you handle the cooler.

Remember, do it
fast and clean,

and we need
Williams' jacket. Right, Colonel.

Carter, you set the
charges five minutes after the cooler blows.

You got it, boy... uh, sir.

Williams, wake up!

Colonel Hogan
wants to see you!

What is this?
Stand back, you bloody mug,

unless you want
to get killed.

Not that I care.

Welcome home, friend.
Hogan, give me a break.

You'll get
what you deserve--

a plane to fly out of here
as soon as the heat dies down.

They're gonna try
you in England,

and you'd better pray
that none of those judges

have ever been POWs.

Put him in the tunnel.
Right.

Here's his jacket.
His name in it?

Yes, sir.

All right, good.

All set, Colonel.

Stand by.

Five, four, three,

two, one!

I said one!

( alarm wailing )

Ooh! First, the cooler,
and now this!

Terrible.

While I am in charge!

I got to hand it to you.

What?

Things certainly happen
when you're around.

Two years' work
completely destroyed.

A catastrophe.
You can expect

a full investigation
from the Gestapo.

Colonel, look what I found.

Williams!
Mm-hmm.

It's fairly obvious
what happened:

he blew open his cell,
set the charges to the gun,

but didn't make
it away in time.

And sent me
on a wild-goose chase

to the small-arms factory?
Uh-huh.

I don't believe it.

Neither do I.
I never will.

Where were the guards
when all this happened?

That's right.
Where were they? Well, you see...

That is the first
question the Gestapo will ask you.

You know, Hogan, I think
your theory about Williams

is beginning
to make sense to me.

You know, Colonel, I had
a feeling that it would.

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