All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s02e26 The Most.eng

ANNOUNCER:
CBS presents this program in color.

( theme song playing )

At 8:40, the train leaves
the supply depot.

At 9:10, it passes
Kessler Station,

and at 9:55,
it starts over the bridge.

And at 9:55
and ten seconds, boom--

no bridge, no train
and no supplies.

What a magnificent disaster
we are about to create.

Yeah, but just don't hang around
to admire your handiwork.

That area is
pretty heavily patrolled.

( speaking French )

That means, "Tonight,
we strike another blow

for liberty in France."

Viva la France.

La plume est
sur la table.

That means, "The pen
is on the table."

Viva la table.

KINCH:
Colonel Hogan.

I just got an urgent message
from London.

We got to pick up
an underground agent

tomorrow night and
smuggle him into camp.

Smuggle him
into camp? Why?

He's got some information
on those new sub pens.

Control wants
it fast,

and we're his nearest
radio contact.

The information must be
pretty important.

Sounds like it.

They don't
want anything

to go wrong
on this end,

so we're on condition
red till further notice.

Condition red?

What about our
job tonight?

We'll just have
to scrap it

and wait for the next
supply train.

( speaking French )

La plume est
sur la table.

Herr Commandant!

Schultz, what did
I tell you this morning

about having
any interruptions today?

You told me,
Herr Commandant,

that you have lots
of work to do

and you do not want
any interruptions

and no one is
to bother you.

Schultz!

No one is going
to disturb you today.

Someone is
already disturbing me.

Who?

No one is here
but the two of us.

I know, Schultz, but one of us

should be out there
where he was told to be.

Oh, you mean
I am the disturbance.

Oh, excuse me.
Schultz...

what is it?

What's so important?

There's someone
to see you outside.

I told you I don't want
to see anybody today!

And when I say "anybody,"

that includes everybody!

Nobody sees me!

Nobody calls me!

Nobody talks to me!

Nobody! I don't
care who it is!

It's General Burkhalter.

Have him come
right in, Schultz.

He is here with Colonel
Stieffer from the SS.

Are you in trouble?

Trouble?

Why should I
be in trouble?

I've always been a good soldier
and a loyal German,

and I can truthfully say
that whatever I've done wrong

is all a pack of lies.

I can truthfully say that, too.

Someone has started
a vicious rumor about me.

Who would do
a thing like that to you?

I don't know, but somewhere

in this prisoner-of-war camp,
I may have enemies.

Klink!

Ah, General Burkhalter,

it is good to
see you again.

You know,
this is really a marvelous surprise.

We haven't had
a friendly chat for some time.

We haven't had
a friendly chat at any time.

I'm here
on a serious matter,

so I will be quick.

A serious matter?

According to our records,
you have done

a remarkable job
here at Stalag 13.

You're an exceptional
commandant,

and you're an officer
of superior ability.

Lies! All lies.

Quiet, Schultz!

General Burkhalter,
this is very flattering,

but honestly, I don't
think I deserve

all this high praise.

I don't think so
either.

However,

you're getting a chance
to live up to your reputation.

This is Colonel Stieffer
of the SS.

He has a special
assignment for you.

A pleasure, Colonel,
a real pleasure.

Whatever I can
do for the SS

will be a real privilege.

And I am deeply moved

by being chosen
for this task.

I hope that
this handshake

will mark
the beginning

of a long and
lasting friendship.

The SS has no friends.

Yes, sir, I think you've
got a good idea on that.

After all, when you add up
what you spend

on dinner parties,
luncheons, gifts--

I mean, who needs the expense
of friendship

when a little hatred
doesn't cost you a cent?

Shall we let Colonel Stieffer
talk for a change?

Yes, sir.

Schultz, not another
word out of you

until the colonel
is finished.

Proceed, Colonel.

We have a very special prisoner
we're turning over to you,

and we expect you
to make sure he doesn't escape.

Sir, I can assure you

no one has ever escaped
from Stalag 13.

So far, he's escaped from nine
of your camps since his capture.

( chuckling ):
Well...

he won't be leaving here
so easily.

If he does,
you will be leaving yourself...

carrying snowshoes
and a Russian road map.

All right.

We can't have any
slip-ups on this job.

The sub pens are loaded
with wolf packs

in for supplies and refueling.

How long do you think
they will stay?

I'd say 12 hours at the most.

Can't go out and pick up
our agent till after dark.

Doesn't leave London much time
to make an air strike.

When do we rendezvous
with the underground agent?

There's an old mill
four miles north of here.

Are there any
questions so far?

I have one, sir.

Yeah, Carter, what is it?

Can we do an easier
exercise for a while?

These knee bends
are killing me.

You're getting soft,
Carter.

Yeah, so am I.

Everybody up.

Next exercise.

Colonel, look behind you.

Hey, watch it, now!
Hey, watch it, now!

Get your bloomin' hands off.

You think it
could be our agent, Colonel?

No, that's
a British soldier.

Let's have
a closer look.

Carter.

We'll walk over.

SCHULTZ:
Get up, you!

Get up! You know
you can't get away from here.

Get up! Get up!
Come on!

Watch your bloomin' hands,
will you?

Sergeant Schmidt.
SOLDIER: Get up!

Come on, get up!

You were to deliver
the prisoner

directly
to the commandant's office.

I'm sorry, sir.
The prisoner fell down.

We can't get him up.

No? I will see
about that.

On your feet, you!

And when I say "walk,"

you walk.

Jawohl, Herr Colonel.

Schultz.

What happened?

Fools! Idiots!

He's escaped!

I hope the colonel realizes
that this prisoner

has not been placed
officially into my custody,

so, uh, I can
hardly be blamed

for this
unfortunate incident

which, uh, fortunately,
I'm not to be blamed for.

Colonel Klink,

this is hardly the
time to be discussing

who is to be
blamed for what.

Oh, that devil Flood.

He escaped right
from under our noses!

Ah-ah! My nose was,
uh, still in my office

when this happened.

( engine turning )

I think I found the trouble
with your car, Colonel.

Starter seems to be broken.

You try another trick
like that,

and I'll have you shot!

Please be sure
it is him

when you shoot,
Colonel.

Hey, that's
Malcolm Flood,

the guy that's made
all those prison breaks.

The newspapers are full
of stories about him.

I wonder if he'll be
able to get out of here.

You're joking.

Just a moment ago,
he nearly got out

before he even got in.

Looks like Stalag 13 is
in for its first escape.

Yeah, and if he does
break out,

that colonel
will have SS troops

combing every inch of ground
from here to Berlin.

It's going to be rough
getting at that agent

with those boys
hanging around.

I'd better see Flood
before he does anything.

KINCH:
Klink's probably keeping him under wraps.

You think he'll let
you talk to him?

As senior officer
of this camp,

I must be allowed to see
any prisoner I wish.

No, Colonel Hogan,
you cannot see the prisoner,

you cannot speak
to the prisoner,

you cannot write
to the prisoner.

Colonel Klink, as senior
officer of this camp,

the prisoners are
my responsibility,

and I demand to
see Sergeant Flood.

Hogan, this is
the last time

I'm going to tell you no
for the last time. That's funny.

I never noticed
what thin, cruel lips you have.

I have thin, cruel lips?
Mm-hmm.

And your eyes.

I have thin,
cruel eyes, too?

No, cold and hard.

The twinkle and
laughter is gone.

They're not the same
smiling, prescient eyes you once had.

My lips don't feel
the least bit thin.

Colonel, give us back

the warm, understanding
commandant we respected

and... yes, some
of us even loved.

Hogan, talk all you want.

but I'm not going
to let you see the prisoner.

I only wanted to
see him for a moment

to pass on a few
encouraging words,

perhaps send a letter
to his mother.

The Colonel Klink I once knew

wouldn't deny
that to any man.

I'm not going
to let you see the prisoner.

Yeah, the Colonel
Klink I knew

was quite a guy.

Let me tell you
some of the things

my boys used to say about
this grand human being.

I'm not going
to let you see the prisoner.

To Sergeant Carter, you
were a father image.

Three minutes.

Fine, Schultz, fine.
Thanks.

Sergeant Flood,
I'm Colonel Hogan,

senior officer
here at Stalag 13.

I just stopped by to see
if there's anything you need.

Stay right where you are,
Flood, and hear me good.

Uh, getting
enough to eat?

Anything special
you need?

Here, let me jot these down
so I don't miss anything.

( sotto voce ):
Now, look, we've got an important mission

for Allied Intelligence tonight,

and you're really going
to mess it up

if you try another escape.

( louder ):
No, you're not going too fast for me, Flood,

but you'd better take a look
at this list,

make sure I've got everything
marked down.

( sotto voce ):
Now, look, this is an important job,

and I want your word you'll stay
right here in this cell.

Sergeant, I'm asking this
as an ally.

I'm waiting, Sergeant.

Now, look, Flood...

Oh, boy.

You sure there's nothing else,
Sergeant?

Ah, don't worry, I don't mind.

That's what I'm here for.

I'll just walk myself
to the door

and let myself out.

Sergeant Schultz?
Yes, Colonel Hogan?

You were listening
all the time.

Who, me? Why should I?

You didn't even say
anything worth hearing.

I tell you,
the man's a proper wizard.

How does he get out
of a locked cell

with an armed guard
on the door?

Schultz was the guard.

All he had to worry about
was the locked cell.

What happens
now, Colonel?

Do we still go
out after the underground agent?

It depends on how long
it takes them

to find out
Flood is missing.

Well, maybe we should try
and find him.

By now,
he's miles from here.

( man gargling )

Well, all we can
do is hope for the best, and...

( gargling continues )

What's that noise?

Somebody's strangling.

Sounds more
like gargling.

That's exactly
what it is,

and it's coming
from my quarters.

Let's go.

It's him!

All right, fellas.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I was just going
to tidy up a bit

before I leave.

Begging your pardon, sir.

I didn't realize I was using
an officer's quarters.

You don't mind if
I sit down, do you?

Oh, not at all, sir.
Thanks, thanks.

I-I know I should
have asked permission

to use your gear,
but you chaps

were in the middle
of a confab.

Seemed to be
something important,

and I didn't like
to butt in.

Matter of fact,
we were discussing you, Flood.

Sit down, sit down.

Oh, thank you, sir,
but I can only stay a minute.

Going to let yourself
get captured again?

Well, you can't escape
from a prison camp

till you're put in one.

You do this as a hobby?

Oh, I should say not, sir.

It's serious business.

You see, in civilian life,
I was a performer--

the world's greatest
escape artist.

You might have heard of me--
Malcolm the Marvelous!

I'm afraid I haven't.

Not many people have.

They're certainly hearing
about me now, though.

Why, every time
I make a prison break,

it's another headline.

You're doing this
as a publicity stunt?

Oh, I'd hardly call it that.

Why, I've become famous--
a legendary figure.

Why, when I return to the stage,
I'll return as a star.

It won't be Malcolm
the Marvelous anymore.

It'll be Flood...
the Fabulous!

Yeah. Look, Sergeant,

I want to ask
you a favor.

I want you to go
back to your cell

before the Germans find
out you've escaped.

Oh, I couldn't do that, sir.

My men and I are
on an important mission,

and we don't want
a pack of SS guards

combing the bushes for you.

Oh, I'd like to cooperate
with you, Colonel,

really, I would, but...

well, you're asking
a bit much.

All right, then,
I'll stop asking...

and make that an order.

An order, sir?
An order.

You're confined to barracks
till further notice.

Is that clear?

Quite clear.

Carter, get in there

and keep an eye
on Sergeant Flood.

What's he doing, sir?

Nothing. I just want
to make sure he stays there.

Yes, sir.

Hi, I'm Carter.

I just thought

I'd come in to
get acquainted

and have a little
friendly visit.

That's very decent
of you, Carter.

Uh, excuse me, Sarge.

You know, I've been
meaning to ask you...

how did you get out of
those other nine camps?

Basic elementary techniques.

Child's play.

Child's play compared
to the spectacular stunts

I did on the stage.

You were in
show business?

Was I in show business?

Introducing
Malcolm the Marvelous.

Chains cannot bind him
nor prisons hold him.

Why, I've escaped
from bank vaults,

locked trunks,
sealed coffins

and numerous hotel rooms
where my luggage was being held.

Well, I heard
that guys do that,

but they use
a phony trunk.

Phony trunk, is it?

Well, not Malcolm
the Marvelous.

See that footlocker?

Real enough, ain't it?

Well, you can lock me
inside of it,

tie ropes around it,
even sit on top of it,

and I'll be out of it
in less than a minute.

That's impossible.

All right,
it'll be dark in a minute.

We'll sneak Flood
back in his cell.

He's not an easy man
to hold, Colonel.

Yeah, he's broke out
twice.

There's nothing he can do
with all of us guarding him.

Well, it seems a
shame to ruin his plans like this.

Look, I don't
like it, either,

but our plans
have to come first.

Let's get him.

Sergeant?

He's gone!

So is Carter.

Hey, Flood
must have made a break,

and Carter took out
after him.

Of course. Let's
go help him.

All right, hold it.
Hold it a minute.

He took off, all right,
but Carter didn't follow him.

Carter's in my footlocker.

In your footlocker?

Don't ask me how I know,
but that's where he is.

You're in my footlocker,
aren't you, Carter?

CARTER ( muffled ):
Yes, I am, sir.

Get him out quick,

before I decide to leave
him there, will you?

What is it, Schultz?
What has happened?

Herr Kommandant,

do you remember
the English sergeant

who was our prisoner
for a couple of minutes today?

Are you trying to tell me
that Sergeant Flood has escaped?

That's what I'm trying
very hard not to tell you.

I told you to watch him
every minute!

I did, Herr Kommandant.
I swear!

I didn't let him
out of my sight

from the moment
I locked his cell

until he escaped.

Now, Colonel Klink,

if you will excuse me,

I'll phone
the general at once

and give him a report
of your miserable failure.

This looks bad,
Schultz, very bad.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

But, Herr Kommandant,
I was taught

no matter how bad
something may be,

one should always look
at the good side.

Well, the good side
looks pretty bad, too.

Please, Schultz,
don't try to be

Little Gretchen
Sunshine today.

We've let a
very important prisoner escape.

Now, can you
find anything good about that?

Sure, Herr Kommandant.

Now that I have
no one to guard,

you could give me
the 12-hour pass.

I am too busy
to see you today.

I know you are, sir,
but this won't take long.

Oh, go ahead and
finish packing.

Packing? I'm not packing.

Oh, that's a smart
idea to travel light.

That way you don't
get your luggage shot up, too.

What is this about traveling?
I'm not going anyplace.

According to my information,
you are.

Flood's escape
was your swan song,

and the name of that song

is, "Good-bye, Dad,
I'm Off to Stalingrad."

Nonsense, Hogan.

I've been in the army
for 20 years,

and this is
my first mistake.

My first mistake
in 20 years.

That's rather remarkable,
wouldn't you say so?

Yeah, I'd say so.

But would the man
with the say-so say so?

Hogan, we all make mistakes.

No one is perfect.

Except him, of course.
Yeah.

Well, I had a plan
to get you out of this mess,

but as long as you're
not worried...

Wait a minute.
Who said I'm not worried?

What's your plan? What?

I mean, how can
you help me?

All you've got to do
is recapture Flood.

Look, Hogan,
Colonel Stieffer

is searching for Flood
with an entire SS company.

Now, if they can't
find him, who can?

I can.

I know where
he's hiding.

You do? How?

He told me when I talked to him
in the cell.

He told me a lot of things.

For instance,
do you know why

he keeps going
from one prison camp to another?

No. Why?

He's looking for a home,
the one place he'll feel wanted.

He is wanted all over Germany!

Colonel Klink, Stalag 13
could be that one place

that he's looking for.

And you as commandant
would automatically become

the father figure that he needs.

If you're a good father,
he stays.

If not, he leaves.

It's entirely up to you

as to what kind of father
you're going to be.

Hogan...

I am not going
to be any kind of father!

I'm not even married,

and you're asking me
to treat Flood like a child.

Psychologically, he is.

Now, if you establish

a solid father-son
relationship with him...

I won't do it.

Commandant Klink,
you've got two choices:

fatherhood or
an exciting trip

to the Russian
winter wonderland.

Colonel Hogan, let's bring
my boy back home.

Oh, yeah, all right.

There's just one thing

I meant to mention
before: I go alone.

Alone, Hogan?
Nothing against you personally, sir,

but, uh, Flood trusts me.

Well, nothing against
you personally, Colonel,

but I don't.

Do you think I'm going
to let you walk

out of this camp alone?

Who said anything about walking?

I was going to borrow
one of your trucks.

Schultz can drive me.

I guess I'll have to trust you.

I appreciate that, Commandant,

and I won't do anything
to destroy your faith in me.

I'm sure you won't.

Tell your men not to follow
too close behind me, huh?

They'll stay
just within machine gun range.

Sub pens will be

practically empty
by midnight.

We are not giving
Air Command much time.

It's enough.

They're ready to go
the second they get

the target locations.

We'll go straight
to the radio room

and get the information off.

Now, where did they go

after they drove
through the gate?

Well, why didn't you ask
Colonel Hogan?

Oh, he was in a hurry, huh?

Corporal, Colonel Hogan
is not your superior officer.

He's a prisoner of war!

I know he doesn't act like one,
but he is a prisoner.

And the next time
he drives through that gate,

I want you to...

Never mind.

There isn't going
to be a next time!

We're back, Colonel.

Hogan, you were back
20 minutes ago.

Now, where have you been?

I just took Malcolm
over to the barracks.

You were to report
to my office immediately.

I did not give you...
Softly, Colonel, softly.

Malcolm is just
outside the door.

You've got to stop
throwing these temper tantrums

if you're going to be
any kind of a father.

( softly ):
I wasn't throwing

any temper tantrums.
Yes, you were.

You were shouting
hysterically and stomping your feet.

I was not stomping
my feet!

I was only shouting
hysterically!

Now, why did you have to go
back to the barracks first?

I wanted to show him
where he's going to live,

to show him how cozy
and snug it was.

Did he seem happy?
Yes, he did.

You won't have any
more trouble with him.

Good, good, Hogan.

Why don't you let
Malcolm come in now?

Oh, do I look all right?

Perfect.

Any man in this camp would be
proud to call you "Daddy."

Thank you, Hogan.

Come on in, Malcolm.

Hello, son. Welcome...

That is not
Malcolm Flood. Yes, it is.

He just looks different
in civilian clothes.

It isn't just
the civilian clothes.

This man is older,
he's shorter, he's heavier.

His hair is not
the same color.

And besides that,
Flood didn't wear any glasses.

Well, you ought to know
your own son.

Who's this man, then?

My name is Max Hubler.

Uh, 117 Gossett Street.

I'm an accountant for
the host industries.

Well, why'd you say
you were Malcolm Flood?

I didn't say anything.

I thought I'd
been captured

by an American commando.

I-I was so frightened,
I could hardly speak.

You thought I was
an American commando? Jawohl.

( laughing ):
That's a riot.

The laugh's on us,
Colonel.

Hogan! This is the last time
I'll ever listen...

Softly, Colonel, softly.

( whispering ):
This is the last time... Hogan!

Out of here and never
bother me again.

Just one minute, Colonel!

I want to find out
what this man was doing

at that old mill.

I have some other questions
for him, too.

Hogan, I said out!

Oh, would you like to
see my papers, Colonel?

Please, Mr. Hubler,
that will not be necessary.

Just a minute.
Just a minute.

I'd like to see them.

I said out!

All right, I'll go,
but this is the last time

I'm going to do
anything for you.

I wish I could believe that.

All right, take off.

Well, Sergeant Flood.

Evening, Colonel.

I captured him myself
right outside the gate.

He was trying
to get away.

I wasn't trying
to get away.

I was trying
to get back in.

SCHULTZ:
Sure, sure.

People always are trying
to break in here.

That's why we have
to lock the gates.

That's the
truth, Colonel.

Uh, I guess you'd say
I had a change of heart

about a few things.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I know what you mean.

All right, let's go,
and no tricks, or I'll shoot!

Schultz, you
don't have a gun.

I can always go and get one.

So, you did catch him,
Schultz.

Good work.

You can turn him
over to me now.

To you, Colonel?

You see, Headquarters
is fed up with Flood

and these prison breaks,

so they decided to let
the Gestapo take charge of him.

Gestapo?

STIEFFER:
That's right, Sergeant.

And we have a method
of preventing escapes that's...

Well, I guess you'd call it
a sure-fire guarantee, hmm?

Colonel Hogan,
I just got word from London:

mission accomplished.

That's great, Kinch.

Something wrong?

We've been talking
about Sergeant Flood.

I shouldn't have
said anything to him.

Oh, don't blame
yourself, Colonel.

He came back
because he felt

it was his duty.

You think there's a chance
he may escape from the Gestapo?

He will if there's a
footlocker in the room.

No, I'm afraid old Flood's
had it this time.

Nobody escapes
those Gestapo boys.

Yeah, I'd
like to think

that Flood just might
be the exception.

Oh, I'd like
to think so, too...

but I'd lay
100 to one against it.

I believe I'll take
that bet, Newkirk.

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