All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s02e18 The Great Brinksmeyer Robbery.eng

ANNOUNCER:
CBS presents this program in color.

( theme song playing )

( explosion )

Hey, Kinch is in the tunnel!

( Kinch coughing )

HOGAN:
You all right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm okay.

What happened?

What happened?

Newkirk, what did you
and Carter put in that bottle--

the one marked
"furniture polish"?

Oh, no, that was
nitroglycerin.

Oh, Carter should've
told you.

Yeah, yeah, well,
I found that out for myself.

You know, I really
didn't mind that you didn't scratch

the "furniture polish"
off the label,

but why did you
have to leave that other thing on?

What?
Shake well before using.

Any damage
in the tunnel?

No, just the radio.

The radio?

It's going to take quite
some time to fix that thing.

We got to listen to that
BBC broadcast today.

There's an important
message for us.

Yeah, well, that radio
ain't broadcasting nothing

to nobody today.

What did...
what did I hear?!

What did I hear?

I know when I hear something.

All right, Schultz,
let's try to help you.

What was it
you heard?

It was like, uh...
boom, boom!

Boom-boom.

Was it like this?

No, it was like
boom, boom!

Was it this?

HEROES:
Boom! Boom!

Stop it! Stop it.

Now, you listen to me.

On account of you, I lost
already a three-day pass.

I'm up for another one.

I want nothing to happen,
you understand?

All right, Schultz,
don't worry.

So please,
no more boom-boom.

We got 20 minutes till
that BBC broadcast,

and we've got
to hear it.

Any chance of fixing

the radio?
Not a chance.

It'll take at least a couple
of days to put it together.

The only other radio
in camp is in the commandant's office.

Klink isn't going to let you
listen to the BBC on his radio.

Nah, he'd turn you down in
a second if you asked him.

Who said I was
going to ask him?

When Emily Post
doesn't work,

you use Sigmund Freud.

What is going on here?

Just planting some shrubbery
around your office, Commandant.

Thought it might brighten up
the place.

Carry on.

( loudly ):
Why is Commandant Klink so suspicious?

Ah, it isn't his fault.

It's part of the German officer
staff training.

Klink can't do
what he wants to.

He's got to conform.
It's part of the system.

You mean he's afraid?

Oh, I don't know.
Maybe that's it.

Don't put those flowers
too close together, huh?

KINCH:
What's he afraid of, Colonel Hogan?

Lots of things.

Little things,
like making personal decisions on his own.

Back home, we listened
to the German broadcast

all the time, but you
never see Klink listen to the BBC broadcast.

I guess he's afraid.

LeBEAU:
That's it. He's afraid, all right.

NEWKIRK:
That must be the answer.

MAN:
The news continues good on all fronts.

A bit of fighting took place
today south of El Alamein.

Rommel's tank forces
retreating slowly

under the heavy barrages from
General Montgomery's artillery.

( volume increases )

( broadcast continues
in background )

"Top priority project
for you to handle.

"Details in parachute drop

"at Grid Point A-12
tonight, 9:23.

Matter of vital importance."

That's it.

Hey, look at
all that money!

Blimey, we're rich,
we're rich.

Hold it!

This money is supposed
to be delivered

to a Ludwig Strasser
for a map with the location

of all the new
rocket launching sites.

How much money
is he getting?

All of it.
100,000 marks.

We've got to get the map
to the allies

so they can send
their bombers over

and knock out
those launching sites.

When would that be, sir?

In two days.
Wow...

KINCH:
Hey, watch it! Klink is coming.

Hide the money.

Not up there.
Under the table! Under the table!

Please!
Not there, not there.

Well, where, where?
Anyplace!

Uh-huh. Hogan,
I see you don't agree

with our rules
and regulations.

Well, which ones
you have in mind, Commandant?

Lights out was
30 minutes ago.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
I got carried away.

We were having a
little celebration.

Celebration?

I don't have
to remind you.

Today's the birthday
of Attila the Hun.

Disgraceful.

Well, look, I'm not so
crazy about him myself,

but he is one of
your national heroes.

We just got carried away

with the spirit of the
holiday, that's all.

Never mind, Hogan--
I just want you to know

that this will not go
unpunished, right, Schu...?

Right, Schultz?

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Someone will be punished.

The one who's
responsible, right, Schultz?

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant,
the one who is responsible.

The one who's to see
to it that lights out

are at the proper
time, right, Schultz?

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

The one who has to see to it
that lights are out...

I'll take your
three-day pass now.

Please, Herr Kommandant...

By the way...
for your information,

I listen to the BBC
whenever I feel like it.

Whenever I feel like it.

Be careful, don't,
don't, don't! Ow, ow!

It's red-hot.

The coffee,
the coffee.

Oh, no!

Well, it's ruined.

I didn't know Klink
was going to light the pass.

It's not your
fault, Newkirk.

The problem is,
where do we get

another 100,000 marks

so that we can
get the map

from Ludwig
Strasser?

How 'bout the same place
we got this money?

Mm-mm. No way to contact
the allies. No radio.

No time to fix
it, either.

And in two days, the
Germans start using

those rocket
launching sites

unless we
knock 'em out.

( sighs ):
Ludwig Strasser.

It's the story
of my life.

I never could
hang on to money.

( doorbell buzzing )

You sent for a plumber?

No, you've
made a mistake.

No, Herr Strasser.

No mistake.

Who are you?

There are no penguins
at Gibraltar.

There are no canaries
in the Canary Islands.

Blue is the most
attractive color.

White is more
suitable for brides.

That's why there are
so many June weddings.

Good. Give me the money.

Not so fast. What about the map?

Oh, I've got it.

You'll get it
when you give me the money.

There's a little problem.

Problem? You don't have
100,000 marks?

Not exactly.

Exactly how much do you have?

Nothing... but we'll
get you the money

in a few days
if you give me the map now.

In the spy business,
there are no credit accounts.

Doesn't it mean anything to you

that you may be saving
a lot of lives?

Oh, that's another thing
about the spy business.

The only thing we're interested
in saving is money.

You know,
that big heart of yours

is going to swell right up
and choke you to death.

In case you have
any foolish ideas,

the map isn't here,

but I can lay
my hands on it

in five minutes
when I need it.

Thanks. You saved both of us
a little trouble.

I'll see what I can do
about getting the money.

Oh, and, um, while
you're here...

Yes?

Could you do something
about a dripping faucet?

That's another thing
about the spy business.

We don't do anything for drips.

So, it's strictly no dice unless
we come up with 100,000 marks.

Where does everybody
usually go

when they're
looking for money?

Where?

The bank.

Unfortunately,
we don't have an account.

So we make
a withdrawal

without an
account.

Rob a bank?!

Banks don't like to be robbed.
What if we get caught?

What's the penalty
for that?

They throw you
in prison, right?

And where are we now?
In prison.

So what do we
got to lose?

It'll take all of
us to do the job.

Sir, how are we going
to get into town

in broad daylight?

There'll be at least
two roll calls.

One of us wouldn't be missed,
but if we all go...

I've got that
figured out, too.

What is going on?!

I said what's going on?!

Schultz, bring these men
to my office right away.

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant!

What are you doing?!
What are you...?

Why do you want us
to go there?

We haven't done anything.

Is something wrong,
Commandant?

"Is something wrong?"

Yes, there's
something wrong!

That imbecile was throwing dirt
into my office!

I'll have to ask you
not to call my men names.

I'll call him
anything I like!

And don't raise
your voice to him.

I'll say anything
I like to him.

I say you won't.

We'll see about that.
Schultz.

Throw that man
into solitary.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

Now, hold it,
Schultz.

Why just one of them?

Why not both of them?

Throw both of them
into solitary!

Now, hold it,
Schultz.

Hogan, I warn you.

Your rank
will not protect you

from the same punishment
as your men.

( chuckles, then laughs )

You wouldn't dare.

Him, too!

Hogan?

Schultz, you heard me.

Now we'll see
if 24 hours in the cooler

won't teach them
a little discipline.

If you please,
Colonel Hogan.

I'll toss you for the bed.

Okay, the loser gets it.

This looks like it,
all right.

Any reason it's this
particular bank, sir?

Yeah.
It's the only one in town.

In the middle of the holdup,
don't get trigger happy.

No, no, I don't think so, Fritz.

Whatever you say,
Herr Beyler.

Yeah, I'm afraid not.

Come.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Can I help you?

Who are you?

I am Herr Brinksmeyer,
the owner of the bank.

Herr Beyler, president
of Beyler Brothers Company.

I am very happy
to meet you.

You've heard of Beyler Brothers
Company, of course?

Of course.

Of, uh, Hamburg, I think?

Hamburg, Frankfurt
and Berlin.

Ja, of course.

Is there anything
I can do for you gentlemen?

Well, we had planned on opening
a branch factory in this town,

but I don't think
you have the proper

banking facilities.

If I may say so...

Herr Beyler said no.

Ah, Fritz.

I didn't say
positively no.

Now, you were saying?

Our bank may be small,

but we have every facility,
und a foreign department,

und our assets
are over 12 million marks.

Sounds very good.

What about cash on hand?

Say I wanted to cash a check
for... 100,000 marks.

No trouble at all.

Very good.

What about security
against holdups?

All our tellers are armed.

There is a police station
right across the street,

und in the balcony,

we have a guard
with a machine gun.

You have
a nice little bank here.

Do you give calendars
at Christmas?

Every year, a different picture
of the Fuhrer.

I'll discuss it with my board
of directors and let you know.

BRINKSMEYER:
Thank you, Herr Beyler.

Auf Wiedersehn.
Wiedersehn.

Thank you.

Looking forward
to your calendars.

Lovely calendar.

( accordion music playing )

Excuse me.

Yes?

I must have made a mistake.

I thought you were a prisoner.

You thought I was a prisoner?

I have to apologize.

You have no idea
what a remarkable resemblance.

I mean, you don't
look like him.

He looks like you.

Yes.

Excuse me.

Morning.

Good morning.

Apologize.

It is him!

It is them!

Now I know why
you look like him.

You are him.

And you...

Don't tell me.

I like to guess.

Schultz, relax.

You're attracting attention.

That's ex...

( quietly ):
...exactly what I want to do.

If someone is
in a solitary cooler,

one is supposed to stay there.

This is regulation.

Hello, Schultzy.

Hello.

Now, don't pull
any tricks on...

And you, too?

The sauerbraten's
very good.

Hey, that's good
enough for me.

Forget it.

I'm going to call
the police right away.

I mean it.

Well, if that's the way
you want it, Schultz,

I guess you're gonna get
a promotion for this.

( chuckles )

I might even get a medal.

Yes, I can just see
the ceremonies now.

While they're pinning
the medal on you

and generals are
shaking your hand,

there's a telegram
from the Fuhrer.

And everyone
is saying,

"Isn't it a lucky thing
that Sergeant Schultz

was in town on pass in time
to catch the prisoners."

Pass?

Didn't we see old Klink
burn the pass?

I'm quite sure Schultz
got another pass.

You did get a pass,
didn't you, Schultz?

No?

Oh, Schultz.

No medal.

Oh, being a prisoner
isn't so bad.

Look at us, Schultzy.

Yeah, thanks
for dropping in, Schultz.

We've got some business
to transact.

What did you find out?

Here are copies

of the building
plan of the bank.

What's this building next door?

It's an apartment
building.

According to this, the bank
was built after the apartment.

What are you getting
at, Colonel?

You'll notice
this wall here

of the apartment building
is built right onto the bank.

And the bank vault is
right up against that wall.

But those walls
are made of steel

two or three
inches thick.

We don't have any tool
that could cut through that.

When we were in the bank,

did you look into the vault
and notice the back?

Yeah, it was just
an ordinary brick wall.

The wall
of the apartment building.

Who lives in this apartment?

A girl.

Her name is, uh...
Mady Pfeiffer,

and she lives alone.

She's not going
to be alone tonight.

( door buzzer sounds )

Oh, at last we meet, at last.

I don't know you.

Of course not;
I'm a secret admirer.

Someone who has
worshipped you

for months
from a distance.

Months? I've only been here
two weeks from Dusseldorf.

I said from a distance.

I'm Herr Beyler.

Here, I want the flowers
to see true beauty.

This is a lovely
apartment, my dear.

Lovely.

What's in there?

That is the bedroom.

Herr Beyler, you will
have to behave yourself,

or I must ask you to leave.

My dear,
all I want to do

is just look at you,
just look.

That is all?

No, there is one thing.

Something I want more than
anything in the whole world.

What?

A cup of coffee
to calm me down.

My nerves are tingling.

All right.

I, I will make you
some coffee.

Good.

I am warming some coffee.

Wonderful, wonderful.

Why don't I get something
on the radio?

( crowd cheering )

( Hitler orating )

It is too loud!

You say
the Fuhrer is too loud?

Is that what you said?

Oh, no, no, no.

Of course not.

I would never say that.

What is that?

What is what?

I don't hear
anything, my dear!

A toast to the Fuhrer!

To the Fuhrer!

( Hitler continues orating )

Don't you hear anything?!

Sit down, my dear.

I hear nothing.

Here, a toast to
Hermann Goering.

To Goering.

A toast, my dear!

To... Julius Steiner.

Julius Steiner.

Who is he?

Himmler's barber.

The speech is over.

I like his longer ones.

Maybe he did not have
anything to say.

Never stopped him before.

I'll get some music.

( sprightly accordion music
playing )

To Max Muller!

Who's Max Muller?

I've never heard of him!

( striking in time
with the music )

( music stops )

There is a noise,

and it is coming
from my bedroom.

It's just your
imagination, Mady.

( slurring ):
I am a responsible girl,

and if there is someone
in my bedroom,

I want to know who it is.

How's it going?

Slow.

We got to
make it fast.

We've got to
get in there

before that bank
opens in the morning

and get that money,
then get it to Strasser

to get that map and
get back to camp

before our 24 hours
in solitary are up.

What about the fraulein?

Don't worry about
her; she's out.

Now, come on, get
going, and fast.

Wait, why don't we take
some extra money for expenses?

No, just 100,000 marks,
and make it fast.

Okay.

Wait a minute.

Take an extra 1,000 marks.

Okay.

All right, be careful.

All right, let's
get this wall up.

Okay, hold it, hold it.

( sotto voce ):
Thank you.

All right, look,

I'm going to go get the map
from Strasser.

I'll meet you back in solitary
at camp.

Okay?

SCHULTZ:
They are all here!

Where did you
expect them to be?

No one ever escapes

from Commandant Klink.

We wouldn't think

of trying to match wits
with you, Commandant.

The contest
would be too unequal.

You see?

You have learned
something already.

But I must tell you this.

I certainly wouldn't

recommend this place
to my friends.

The service is terrible.

Don't worry.

We can get all the
customers we want.

You missed great excitement
in town.

What happened?

Big bank robbery.

( whistles )
No.

How low will
some people sink?

It's against the
law, isn't it?

Do they know who did it?

They caught the man,

but imagine the nerve
of the bank robber.

This morning,
he goes back to the bank

and he wanted to deposit
the stolen 100,000 mark

to his own account.

I never heard
of such gall.

Did they get all the
money back, Schultzy?

All but 1,000 mark.

Well, whoever's got it,
I hope she uses it to good use.

"She"?

Isn't it always
a woman?

Ja...

Ja.

Hey! Colonel Hogan!

Colonel Hogan, open up!

Colonel Hogan!

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