All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s02e17 The Swap.eng

ANNOUNCER:
CBS presents this program in color.

( theme song playing )

You got the plan all
straight, Houlihan?

Yeah. You think
it'll really work?

It always has.

Yeah, a week from now,

you'll be back
in England.

Wait a minute,
LeBeau.

That's too small.
Get another one, huh?

Right, sir.

Colonel, but
what happens when they find

there's a prisoner
missing?

Oh, but there won't be.

You see, we've got
a shot-down airman waiting

to be smuggled in
to take your place.

Thanks, LeBeau.

Ah, wunderbar.

This way, chum.

Good luck, Houlihan.

KINCH:
Take it easy.

And remember,
getting there is half the fun.

That's the 107th guy
so far this year, Colonel.

Don't you ever wish
it was you

making that little
trip back home?

No, siree.
When I leave,

I'm walking out
right out that front gate.

And besides, I look terrible
in a Tyrolian hat.

Here you are, chap.

Welcome to Stalag 13.

Hi. Colonel Hogan.

Schultz is coming.

Achtung!

Everybody, achtung,
if you please.

Ho-ho! Ho-ho-ho!
Wait a minute.

Who, what, what, what,
who is this?

What's the matter,
Schultz?

Don't you recognize
good old Houlihan?

Good old Houlihan?

That is good old Houlihan?

( all agreeing )

( laughs )
Good old Houlihan

was like this,
not like that.

He shrunk
a little bit.

It's that
prison camp diet.

Uh-huh, yeah.

( sirens blaring )
Hey, what's that?

SCHULTZ:
Wait, wait, hold it, hold it!

Everybody back,
back, back, back, back!

No one is
going outside.

Nobody looking outside.

Order of the
commandant.

Why? Who's out there,
Schultz?

I will not tell you.

Once in a while,
I have to be on our side.

Oh, let's look
out the window.

No! No, no, no, no!
Wait! Hold it!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Nobody at the window!

Nobody looking out.

I have my orders.

All right, Schultz.

Keep them away
from the window.

Must be a new prisoner.

KINCH:
Yeah, a big one to get treatment like that.

Yeah, but who?

I think I'll
find out from Klink.

SCHULTZ:
No, no, no, no!

All right, come on, fellas.
Break it up.

Schultz has his orders.

That's right!
No looking!

That's right, Schultz.
And don't worry.

Nobody saw the truck
or the prisoner.

Good.

Truck?

Prisoner?

I know nothing!

( knocking )

Come in, come in.

Yes, Hogan, what
is it this time?

Another complaint?

Yes, sir.

You see,
the men feel...

Denied.

Hogan, I am much
too busy today

to be concerned
with your petty little problems.

I understand, sir,

it's just that the men
are worried about you.

Worried about me?

As you said, you've
more important things to think about.

Hogan, wait, wait.

As commandant,
it is my duty

to be interested
in the welfare of my men.

Now, what is it
about me?

Colonel, you have
a wonderful record here.

Two years and
not one escape.

That's something
to be proud of.

You're proud of it
and we're proud of it.

Naturally, naturally.
Thank you.

So?

So it's just not fair.

Why doesn't
the high command recognize your ability?

Instead, all their
attention goes

to that Colonel Steuben
at Kleinfeld Prison,

and he's not half
the officer you are.

Mm! Steuben at Kleinfeld--
he is nothing!

Yeah, then why do all
the important prisoners

go there instead
of here?

It's a slur
against you, sir.

And all of us

are pretty unhappy
about it.

Why, we want to know,

why is our commandant
being overlooked. Why?

It's just not right.

Mm-hmm.

So, uh,
my prisoners feel

that their good colonel
is being overlooked, huh?

Not so,
my dear Hogan, not so.

The prisoners can relax.

My abilities
are recognized.

Uh, by the way,
did you notice

the truck
that just arrived?

Truck?
A truck came in?

We were all so busy
with our ceramics, sir.

Yes, there was a truck.

On it was a prisoner,
an American officer.

All right, so they send
you a second lieutenant.

Still, sir, a man
with your record...

No, no, no, no, no!

Not a second lieutenant,
not a first lieutenant.

All right,
a captain then. Still, sir...

No, no, no, no.

Not a captain.

You're pulling
my leg.

What could he be?

Let me just say,
Colonel,

that you are no longer
the highest-ranking prisoner

in this camp.

No.

Not a general.

I won't say yes,
I won't say no.

Just important enough
for Field Marshal von Heinke

to arrive here tomorrow
at my invitation.

Now, we will be photographed
together with the prisoner,

in front of his plane,
which was shot down.

( truck approaching )

Ah, and there it is now.

Who'd you say
this American general was?

That, my dear
Colonel Hogan,

you will find out
tomorrow,

along with the rest
of the world.

I can hardly wait, sir.

I can't tell you

what this will mean
to our men, sir.

At last, they'll be able
to sleep at night.

Congratulations.

Mm-hmm!

They've captured
a general.

Not just a general,
that's General Barton.

Barton?!

I've been on the radio
to London.

General Barton,
chief of all daylight bombing?

No wonder they're taking
pictures tomorrow.

What a propaganda
plum for them.

London also wants us
to spring him.

Spring a general?

Oh, blimey,
they know how to ask.

That's a flipping
tough assignment.

If he was just an ordinary
prisoner, maybe, but...

Wait a minute,
LeBeau. That's it.

If we could convince Klink
that guy isn't Barton...

Hello.

NEWKIRK:
That must be one of the crew from the general's plane.

LeBeau, see what
you've got

in your bag
of tricks.

I need an insignia
for an American general.

Right, Colonel.

Here, Colonel.
Thanks.

( Schultz speaking German )

Get out, get out,
get out.

Hey, Schultz,
who's your friend?

No chitchat.
I have to take him to the commandant.

Oh, come on.
You can't take him to the commandant

looking like this.

What are you
talking about?

Remember: name, rank
and serial number.

That's all
you tell him. Shh.

SCHULTZ:
No talking!

Who's talking?
I'm whispering.

And what
have we here?

Herr Kommandant,
a new prisoner!

Sound off.

General Aloisius Barton,
United States Air Corps.

Did you say General
Barton? Schultz!

Impossible.

I knew you'd
catch on, Colonel.

It's an old American trick.

All the fliers carry
these insignia,

in case
they're shot down.

They pretend
to be General Barton.

That way they get
special treatment.

Nice try, pal,

but I knew
he'd catch on.

Too smart.

Hogan.

Did you say they all
pretended to be...

Oh, don't tell me
that other prisoner said he was Barton.

Oh, that's bad.
Probably just a sergeant.

I told the men
you had a real general.

But he seemed
so sincere.

And with the field marshal
coming tomorrow

to have his picture taken
at your invitation...

with an enlisted man.

Look, you better
get him out of here, whoever he is,

before the Field
Marshal comes.

But I must be sure.

Hogan, wait.

You would know
a brigadier general in your own air corps.

You could
identify him.

Well, I mean...

Come, let's see if
he's real or not,

and then you tell me.

If I can be of help,
lead on.

( outer door clangs )

All right, Hogan--
is this General Barton?

Not a chance.

What is all this?

Nice try, pal,

but the colonel here
knows your not Barton.

He's going
to take you out

of this
maximum-security cell

and put you in
with the rest of us.

Rubbish.

I am General Barton

and I'm entitled to all
the privileges of my rank.

And just who are you?

This is Colonel Hogan,

ranking officer among
the prisoners here.

Hogan? Yes, I remember you.

You were the commanding officer
of the 504th.

But, uh, that
was quite a while back.

Hogan has been
a prisoner here for two years.

Two years.

Had many escapes?

No one has ever
escaped from Stalag 13.

Colonel Hogan
has been most understanding

and cooperative.

Oh, so that's it.

Cooperative-- a sellout.

It's the duty
of every officer to try to escape.

Hogan, you're a disgrace
to the uniform.

Get this crummy traitor
out of my sight.

Yes, Herr General.

Hogan!

Now, Hogan,

you can tell
the good news to your men.

( sighs )

We really do have
the real General Barton, don't we?

Yep, that's General Barton,
all right.

Generals.

He really gave it
to the Colonel, huh?

How would you feel?

Two years
in this stinking camp,

breaking your back
every minute

to help other guys escape
while you stay behind?

And then your own general,

who you're trying to help,
calls you a traitor.

Hey, Colonel,

another message
from London.

Boy, have they
been sweating.

"Arrange escape of
Barton at any cost."

Oh, they must be joking.

What, him in that special cell
with all them ruddy guards?

No, thanks.

Need I remind you
we're still under orders?

And this is an order.

But the field marshal's
coming tomorrow.

That leaves
just tonight.

There's no time
for tunnels,

no time for anything.

LeBEAU:
It would seem, Colonel,

that this time,

there are just no more tricks
left in the bag.

Well, it had
to come to this, sooner or later.

Well, sure, we got
by all this time

without anybody
getting hurt,

but there's not one
of us here

that hasn't known inside
that the day would come

we'd have to lay it
on the line.

Well, is that it then?

A direct attack?

Yeah, I wish there
was some other way.

This time...

A lousy pistol.

I'd rather swap it for a tank.

Wait a minute.

That's it.

That's it, what?

A swap.

We'll give them
a German general

for an American general--
an even swap.

But, Colonel, we don't seem
to have a German general in stock.

But we will have--

Field Marshal
von Heinke.

When he arrives tomorrow,
we capture him.

Us prisoners,
of the Germans,

are going to capture
a German general?

Exactly.

I knew you'd
understand.

( soldier grunting )

( grunts )

( British accent ):
A little present from the British commandos.

I'll handle the English
accent, if you don't mind.

HOGAN:
All right, give us a hand, come on.

Let's get him
into the trunk.

LeBEAU:
Why in the trunk?

We want him inside
the camp, don't we?

Right.

Let them make
the deliveries.

( tires squealing )

( yelling in German )

General von Heinke
has been captured

by the British commandos!

Sound the alarm!

Get into formation!

Schultz!

Schultz!

Release the dogs!

I don't want to leave
a stone unturned!

( dogs barking )

Schultz!

KLINK:
We'll show them a thing or two!

I want every one of those
commandos caught

and brought
into my office!

Sergeant Schultz!

Where is Sergeant Schultz?

Get Sergeant Schultz!

Sergeant Schultz!

Get Sergeant... Schultz!

Where have you been?!

On the Hammelburg Road--
he'll show you. Let's go.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

( shouting in German )

I said all prisoners
in the barracks!

Boy, they're sure
in a stew over at Klink's.

I'll-I'll bet you half
of the generals

in Germany are
there by now.

Kinch?

Yeah, Colonel?

How's our friend feeling?

Oh, he's still out cold.

He'll never go
for the swap.

He'll know
he's still in Germany.

That's why we're going
to fly him back to England.

Fly him back to England?!

In what?

In that.

Hi, Schultz!

Halt! Who goes...?

Axis Sally.

Axis Sally?!

How you doing, Schultz?

Did they, uh, find
the field marshal yet?

Nein! But you
shouldn't be outside.

Well, I'm sorry.

I just couldn't sleep
worrying about him, that's all.

You know, Schultz,
it's really too bad

they didn't have somebody
like you guarding him.

This never
would've happened.

( chuckles )

If Schultz would
have guarded him,

nothing would
have happened.

Eyes like an eagle, Schultz.

Just like an eagle.

Nothing gets past
Schultz. Nothing!

SCHULTZ:
I would like to see anybody try it.

Not me, Schultz.

Old eagle eye--
( chuckles )

Not a chance.
Hey, you like chocolate?

Hmm?

Now and then.

How about a little bit
for now then, huh?

Yeah.

Shh! Shh!

( engines thrumming )

Hey, I think he's
coming around.

Good, good.

What happened?

Where am I?

Who are you?

Colonel Foster,
Intelligence.

Yeah, we should be just about
over the coast of Dover now.

Right.

Dover?

England?!

Uh-huh.

Yeah, there are
the lights now.

Yes, indeedy,
a beautiful sight.

( record scratching )

( engine thrumming
resumes )

All right, here we go.

Now raise your leg.
Up, up, up, that's it.

You'll pardon the blindfold,
sir, but you understand--

this underground hangar

is one of the most
secret bases in England.

You don't have to explain.

All right.

Set up radio contact
with Germany.

Inform them the field marshal's
our prisoner.

Right, sir.

( sighs )

I think you'll be
comfortable here awhile.

It's about what I would
expect in an English camp.

We would never
keep our prisoners

in a pigpen like this.

Well, there is
a war on, you know.

Gentlemen, this is most
embarrassing.

In broad daylight...

I still think we should send
a squad to look...

Shut up, Klink.

Right in the
middle of Germany.

And not a trace of him.

Well, this never would've
happened had I...

Klink, he could be
anywhere by now.

Yes, Herr General.

Uh, General, may I suggest that
we possibly...

Be careful you don't
suggest yourself

all the way
to the Russian front.

Yes, sir.

Now make your rounds.

My rounds.

Rounds?

Oh, yes, Herr General,
I was just about

to go to make my rounds.

Now, we have cut
them off here,

we have cut
them off there,

now we must
block them here.

Very good, Herr General.

( British accent ):
Contact ready with Germany, sir.

The Allied chief suggests

we offer an exchange of this
prisoner for General Barton.

Are they out
of their minds?

The Germans would never
give up a big man like Barton

for just
a von Clanky here.

Von Heinke, Heinke,
not Clanky.

All right, whatever.

It wouldn't work.

Who'd want to swap steak
for a hamburger?

Hamburger?

Colonel, I am a field marshal.

I have the Iron Cross,
First Class,

the Goering citation
and the Knight's Cross

with Oak Leaves
and Swords.

That Barton, hmph!
Just another pilot.

I am von Heinke.

Yeah, well, whatever.

You will see.

They will insist
on the exchange.

I will speak to them on
your radio, personally.

Well, if you insist,
be my guest.

Schultz!

What is going
on here?

Herr Kommandant,

I am watching
the American airplane

with the eyes of an eagle.

Dummkopf! What plane?

That one. That...

Schultz, do you have
an explanation?

Herr Kommandant,
I will have to report,

Herr Kommandant,
that if it pleases Herr Kommandant...

Mm! This is another trick
of Hogan's to embarrass me

in front of
General Burkhalter.

This is von Heinke.

I order you to make immediate
arrangements for my exchange.

( whistling outside )

Where's Colonel Hogan?

I don't know, sir.

Herr Colonel?

Yes, what is it?

You are wanted in your
office immediately.

Communications has
notified us that London is calling on the radio.

London?

Huh!

Field Marshal, would you
mind repeating that again,

just to be sure?

I order you to make immediate
arrangements for my exchange.

Those are my orders.

Carry them out.

Such a loud signal.

The English must have an
excellent transmitter.

We have
an excellent receiver.

HOGAN ( as Colonel Foster ):
That was Field Marshal von Heinke.

May we have your reply
immediately?

I guess we have
no choice.

That voice, I have heard it
somewhere before.

Certainly, Dummkopf.

That's von Heinke.

KLINK:
Herr General, the other voice, it...

Hogan.

that's Hogan!
( buzzer sounds )

Ooh, Hogan.

Sir.

One of my prisoners
right here!

Be right back.

Now, gentlemen, I'm convinced
that something is wrong.

General Burkhalter,
with all due respect to you,

I think this could be
a false message.

A false message.

Yes, sir.

Now, it would take me

just one minute
to find...

Hogan?!

Yes?

You thought he was
on the radio?

What are you doing here?

Sergeant Schultz told me

one of our planes was missing.

Klink, what is this?

General, I still think
it is possible

that that message on the radio
was not the genuine article.

NEWKIRK ( imitating Churchill ):
Generals of the Third Reich,

this is the prime minister
speaking.

We offer you this exchange

with the full expectation

that you will comply
in an honorable manner.

We in turn assure you

that we will fulfill our
part of the bargain.

We await your
immediate reply

in order that we may speedily

affect this arrangement

to our mutual
satisfaction.

Notify communications,
we accept--

unless, Colonel, you think
that was Hogan, too?

Any trouble with von Heinke?

No, we took him out
through the tunnel.

We left him with
the underground.

They'll notify the Krauts
where to pick him up,

soon as Barton
takes off.

He's so full
of sleeping pills,

he'll never know
he never left home.

What time's London going
to send the plane for Barton?

Well, it's due
to land any minute.

So that's the setup,
General.

Maybe I shouldn't
speak up like this, but...

well, I just wanted
you to know

how we all feel
about Colonel Hogan.

And you can't put me
in jail for it 'cause,

legally speaking,
I'm in jail already.

That's all, Newkirk.

Hogan.

Colonel Hogan.

( knocking )

Come in.

You wanted
to see me, Colonel?

Yes, Hogan, I do.

Now before I call
General Burkhalter

and start a thorough
investigation,

I want to ask
some questions.

Aw, come on.
It's pretty late.

Can't this wait
till tomorrow?

Silence!

I want some answers
and I want them now.

What seems to be
the problem?

Hogan, does it not
seem strange to you

that a field marshal

is kidnapped
in the middle of Germany?

That has
bothered me, sir.

Mm-hmm.

And does it not
seem strange to you

that a captured airplane
disappears and then reappears?

Well, it has been
rather windy, sir.

And does it not seem
extremely strange to you

that Prime Minister Churchill
would drop everything

to send a personal message?

You're absolutely
right.

Now, I'm going to give you
exactly five...

You agree with me?

Mm-hmm.

Now that you point it out,
sir, I see what you mean.

This whole thing
was rigged.

It was obviously
an act.

Well, yes.

But you were smart enough
to see through it.

Von Heinke was
never captured.

No, he was never captured.

Von Heinke was
getting too big.

He was obviously out
for Goering's job.

Goering got wise,
so he and his pal Himmler

rigged this whole thing.

Himmler? Goering?

I'm surprised at
your courage, sir,

in going through with
this investigation.

I didn't think
you'd do it.

I just wish I could be
there when you come

face-to-face with Goering
and Himmler with your charges.

Yes, sir, a day
to be remembered.

Get General Burkhalter
for Colonel Klink.

He has an urgent
report to make.

Cancel that call.

When General Burkhalter
said the case was closed,

he meant it was closed.

My hat's off
to you, sir.

You put the country
before yourself.

A scandal like this could
destroy the Third Reich.

I just hope they
appreciate you.

I know we do.

Oh, thank you, Hogan.

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