All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s02e11 A Tiger Hunt in Paris 2.eng

ANNOUNCER:
CBS presents this program in color.

( theme song playing )

They are trying again with
the call, Herr Kommandant.

Now, Schultz, you got
this straight?

Captain Gruber
is to send

another staff car
here to Paris at once.

But there is no other
staff car in Stalag 13.

A vehicle of some kind.

And you're to report
that my staff car

has been destroyed
by enemy strafing.

Enemy strafing?

How can I explain
that we were in Paris

for two minutes
and you had it stolen from you?

With all my uniforms!

And tell them to send
a change of uniform.

I think your uniform
is beautiful, Herr Kommandant.

Schultz!

Klink's still
trying to get through from Paris.

Let him wait.

Ours is a business call.

It's just 9:00.

Colonel. Right.

Coming through fine.

Good. Now, I got
a job for you.

Gay, romantic Paris?

LeBeau and I are living
like monks. Monks!

It's a little complicated.

We need
some information here.

I made a deal
with a nutty Russian

who's got
a little something going

with the head
of the Paris Gestapo.

She is beautiful
and pure.

She may be able
to help us

get Tiger away
from the Gestapo boys,

but her price
is the location

of those secret fighter bases
in Germany--

the ones near you
that Tiger was looking for

when they grabbed her.
Okay?

Good. Now, I want
Newkirk and Carter

to go out of the compound
tonight, Kinch.

What?

That's right, Colonel,
we can't do it.

It's a different
Stalag 13

since Klink
went to Paris.

Gruber has three
bed checks a night,

and the guard that
replaced Schultz is murder.

Almost like being
in prison, tell him.

KINCH:
We'll talk to you tomorrow night, Colonel.

You know, LeBeau...

...I never
really appreciated Klink.

If we run into him again here,
I'm going to tell him.

Couldn't we send him
back to Stalag 13?

How can we?
We stole his staff car.

( whistling )

( whistling )

You like my new car?

Yeah. This is the one
we stole from Klink

and gave to Backscheider.

She bought it.
You bought it?

It was not
cheap-- get in.

Mais oui, Madame...

Please. With you,

I could not trust
myself. Him.

LeBeau, get
in the driver's seat,

keep a lookout, huh?

Right.

Well, did you find time

to do anything
about Tiger last night,

or were you too busy?

On second thought,
change places with the short one.

Look, I don't care what games
you play with Backscheider.

I'm on my way to his office.
What have you got for me?

Mm-hmm. I drew aside
the curtain of time

and peeked into
his future.

I told him there
would be a visit

from a most
important person.

Well?

That is all.

That's all?

He could do better than that
from a fortune cookie.

How does that
help spring Tiger?

( scoffs ):
Details.

Oh, swell, swell.

Had I worked it all out,
you would have hated me.

Men are like that.

Now, when can I
have the location

of the German
fighter bases?

Ask me something easy.

When are they opening
second front?

Look in your crystal ball.

No. I would see
you on your knees,

begging for my smile.

It would be too
embarrassing for you.

When we go there,
we have to do it...

Schultz, my staff car!

What staff car?

Over there.

We must stop them.

You, driver, this
is my staff car.

Oh, moi! Le Boche!
Que vous racontez?

Un staff car. Vous cassez
les couilles, eh?

SCHULTZ:
What did he say?

How should I know?

Oh, excuse me.
There seems to be some...

Shut the door!

Oh, yes, madame.

But I thought that this might
possibly be my staff car.

This car is the property
of the Paris Gestapo.

I'm questioning a suspect.

Now, go away.

Oh, yes, madame,
right away.

You were right,
Schultz.

The Gestapo
did requisition my staff car.

But why did Colonel
Backscheider

tell me that
it was stolen?

Such a small difference,
Herr Kommandant.

The important thing is
we found it.

I will give you
five minutes alone

with the suspect,
Herr Derkin.

If she is unwilling
to talk freely,

we shall be forced
to resume our own interrogation.

We have been
far too lenient already.

Colonel Backscheider,

you're just
too nice a guy.

There have been
certain inquiries from Berlin.

It is vital to us to know

if this woman was able
to find certain information

and whether she has
passed it on.

Vital.

Of course, you had the
information yourself.

Why?

To check on
her story.

I will get it.
Do not concern yourself.

Good. Good.

Look, um, I was able
to get a good deal

on some cognac.

Two carloads.

Be glad to cut you in

if you can help
transport it to Paris.

( sighs ):
Every inch of car loading

is needed for the German
war effort.

You were in for 50%.

I will see
what I can do.

Good.

( snaps fingers )

There was
something else, something else.

Yes?

Someone was coming
from out of town.

Who was it?

Someone of importance?

Who was it?

Just can't think.

Well, maybe later.

I'll go talk to Tiger.

This time it works perfectly,
Herr Colonel.

It better work perfectly.

They moved it since yesterday.

They had me out of
the cell this morning.

Look, he's going to come
steaming in here in a minute.

Tiger, we may be able
to get you out of here.

When?
If it happens, tomorrow.

How?
I don't know how.

I'm playing it by ear
because I'm working

with a nut who's
also playing it by ear.

( sighs )
In spite of that, you've got to trust me.

Now, no matter
what I say--

and I don't know
what I'm going to say--

play along, no matter how
it may sound.

I trust you.

( keys jangling )

( cell door opening )

So, she is now

willing to talk?

Absolutely.

Anything you
want to know...

tomorrow.

I will not wait
until tomorrow.

You've got to get
the location

of the fighter bases
to check on her story.

I never told you anything
about fighter bases.

She did.

Hmm.

Nevertheless,
I will not wait.

I must have evidence now
of good faith.

( sighs ):
That's only fair.

I'll see what I can do.

Tiger... can I
tell the Colonel

the name you told me?

What name?

A very important
member of the gang.

She was just
about to make contact with him

when your boys
picked her up.

Tell him.

No, he wouldn't
believe you.

Commandant of Stalag
13, Wilhelm Klink.

Impossible.

He's right here
in Paris, on leave.

Exactly.

No. I do not believe it.

Pick him up.

But if this does not
check out...

You'd better hurry up.

He sounds like
a dangerous man.

Well, Mueller, go.

Just thought
of a dangerous man: Himmler.

Himmler?

What about him?

He's the one who's
coming to Paris, of course.

Well, that's
absolutely impossible.

If Reichsfuhrer Himmler
were coming to Paris,

I would be
the first to know.

You mean he
didn't tell you?

Oh, I am sorry.

BACKSCHEIDER:
You told me that the stars

were very favorable for me
this time of month.

And the stars
are never wrong.

Sometimes my
interpretation is not so good.

Why is Himmler coming?

What have I done?

What have I had
the chance to do?

I forget.

Did I read for you
a long life line or a short one?

You told me
it was very long.

But, of course, you're
no longer young.

What should I do?

( sighs )

This man
you have told me of...

the black market man.

Derkin.

How did he know
Himmler was coming?

Ja. How did he know?

I would watch him
very closely, Colonel.

You have of course tapped
the phone at his hotel?

Of course.

I should have.

Did I?

Perhaps Himmler
is not coming at all.

I never trusted Derkin.

Never.

Thank you.

Thank you, my dear.

I shall get on
it right away.

Uh, Colonel Backscheider,
uh, the stars work free,

but, uh, Marya needs
a little bread on the table.

Oh, of course, of course.

My dear...

Now...

( door opens )

( door shuts )

Very nice, very nice.

That's absolutely
all I need. Thanks.

Why did you let him
kiss your hand?

Oh, you are
both jealous.

How sweet.

He's jealous.

I'm ready to kill.

I had Backscheider
going my way.

He didn't even have
my phone tapped.

What are you doing?

Kissing him
this morning--

that was in the
line of duty.

But kissing
Backscheider?

Will you dry up
about the kissing?

I do these things
by intuition.

I forgive you.

Well, I don't.

If you can point out
any possible advantage

to my phone being tapped
by Backscheider, I'll...

Yeah, maybe.

You have thought of something.

No thanks to you.

Hold out as long as you can,
my darling.

It will be that much sweeter
when you surrender to me.

Over my dead body.

Don't tempt me.

We can all three
be friends.

I forgot I
was French.

( whistling )

( phone rings )

Derkin here.

( heavy German accent ):
My dear Derkin.

This is Heinrich Himmler.

How are you?

Fine. Just fine.

You enjoyed the caviar?

Oh, I'm glad, I'm glad.

Look, I may be able
to get some more for you.

Got a special deal,
about three tons.

Eh, we can talk about that
when you get here.

Yes, I will be arriving tomorrow
morning, uh, about 10:00,

by fighter plane,
with only my pilot.

Ja, there has been too many
accidents on our transports.

Inhuman. I'll meet you
at the airport at 10:00.

But, um, what about
Colonel Backscheider?

What about him?

Well, I put my foot in it.

I mentioned
you were coming to Paris,

but I didn't tell him when.

Tell him nothing.

If he has one single ounce
of brains, which I doubt,

he will find out
that I'm coming in

und be at the airport

with his entire staff
lined up in review.

And if not, eh,
one more bungler down the well.

I'm really sure
he'll be there.

I'll meet you
at the airport,

and, eh, thanks
for the call, Heinrich.

He called him Heinrich.

He is on a first-name
basis with Himmler.

Do you still intend
to arrest him, Colonel?

Have you lost your
mind, Mueller?

No. Back to
headquarters.

Yes.

I want all personnel
up all night,

polishing, scrubbing,

making ready to pass
in review

before Herr Himmler
at 10:00 tomorrow morning.

He called him Heinrich. Oh!

You saw him here?

Last night

with the small one.

But this morning,
I saw them both with you...

in the staff car.

I think it was the staff car.

And his name is Hogan,
Colonel Hogan,

an escaped prisoner?

Not escaped.

He comes and he goes
on business.

A-ha.

It's not my concern,
because business is business,

but I must find him.

Colonel Klink is being held
by the Gestapo.

But why go to this Hogan?

Who should I go to, the Gestapo?

Very nice, Schultz,
telling all the family secrets.

Oh, Colonel Hogan,
please!

Colonel Hogan,
Commandant Klink

has been arrested
by the Gestapo.

What shall I do?

Why don't you go back to the bar
and have a drink?

Oh, Colonel Hogan,
how can I go

back to Stalag 13
without the commandant?!

It-it is bad enough
to lose a staff car,

but a commandant?

All right, Schultz,
then you stay

and help us plan
how we're going to shoot our way

into Gestapo headquarters
tomorrow.

I think I better have
a drink.

Hogan and a colonel.

And the small one is a general?

Disguised as a corporal.

All right,
so you're one up on us.

But we've got a problem
about tomorrow.

What we need is a reasonable
facsimile of Himmler.

Can you rent us one
for a couple of hours?

It is well that I know how your
evil mind works, Derkin Hogan.

( snaps fingers twice )

Heil Hitler.

Sit down.

Danke.

What's the matter?

You do not believe me
in my part?

You can't be seen
until tomorrow.

And I don't believe you
in the part.

Himmler with a Russian accent.

But I speak faultless German.

Almost faultless.

Bryn Antonovich is one
of the great undiscovered actors

of our time.

Thank you, darling.

You're welcome,
darling.

He's the doorman
from outside!

Not one of my best parts.

Oh, brother.

Is anything wrong?

Everything.

Backscheider isn't going to
believe this doorman is Himmler.

With your management,
Derkin Hogan,

they should never
have to meet.

All right,
just show me

one other person
that believes.

Just one person,
and I'll buy it.

Colonel Hogan,
please, excuse me.

I don't want to disturb,

but Colonel Hogan, please,
I'm really worried, because...

Are you aware, Dummkopf,

that you have intruded

upon SS Reichsfuhrer
Heinrich Himmler? Hmm?

( whimpering )

Himmler?!

Himmler, I-I-I'm terribly sorry.

I wa... I-I-I was already going.

I wasn't here.

I-I wasn't here.
Please forgive me.

Well?

I could convince him
I was Himmler.

All right, all right.

Sit down, Himmler.

( aircraft engine starts )

10:00 and no
sight of him.

Might it not be,
Colonel...?

No.

What?

That, uh,
for security reasons,

Herr Reichsfuhrer Himmler
might not come exactly on time?

It is possible.

I hope it is possible.

All right, LeBeau,
you wait here for us,

and if Backscheider comes
before we're through...

The signal?

It's just
a very loud prayer.

I forgot to ask,
what's my horoscope for today?

Stay home and work
in your garden.

Glad I brought it up.

Yes. Yes, I am quite sure,
Colonel Backscheider.

It cannot be anyone else.

Hold them there, Mueller,
until I can get back.

Hold Reichsfuhrer Himmler?

Beg him to stay.
Anything.

I am on my way.

Sontag!

At the airport

with his entire personnel
while I am here?

I assured
the Reichsfuhrer...

Silence!

Jawohl, jawohl.

I want you
to take me to see...

Who is it
that I want to see?

French underground
woman, Tiger.

Da, da, ja, ja.

The French underground woman,
Tiger, and at once.

At once!

Ah, but first,
Herr Himmler

is concerned
about the map

showing the location of
the new fighter bases.

Hmm? Oh, ja, ja.

It should never
have left Berlin.

Get it at once.

But-but it is locked
in Colonel Backscheider's desk,

Your Excellency.

Well, then break it open...
with an ax!

At once!

Ja!
Heil Hitler!

If Herr Reichsfuhrer
would only wait

until Colonel
Backscheider gets back...

He is on the way?

Oh, yes, sir.

Well, hurry.
At once!

Uh, Captain Mueller,
excuse me...

Colonel Hogan?

( chuckling ):
I thought I saw Colonel Hogan.

Do I look
like a Colonel Hogan?

Oh, no, sir,
not at all.

It's just that
ever since I've been to Paris,

I seem to hear
and see only...

( chuckles ):
This wouldn't be

Reichsfuhrer
Himmler, would it?

Who is this man?

Ex-Commandant Klink,
Your Excellency, from Stalag 13.

Suspected of complicity
in the Tiger matter.

Your Excellency,
I am completely innocent.

All I've done--

with the exception
of some harmless delusions--

all I have done is come
to Paris on my seven-day leave,

and never have I had
such misery, sir, never.

When is your leave up?

Tomorrow, sir.

Let him out.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Your reputation for generosity
and fairness is...

Let him out?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Your generosity and fairness
is insurmountable.

This is
a very dangerous woman.

What have you gotten
from her?

Well, nothing as yet,
Your Excellency.

Uh, but today,
I believe

she will tell us
everything.

So, you are coddling criminals
again, eh?

Well, I shall personally
take her to Berlin

and conduct
my own interrogation.

At once, sir?

Jawohl.

At once!
At once.

Follow me.

Reichsfuhrer Himmler!

Preventing nosebleed.

Long live our glorious leader,
the Czar!

Heil Hit... The Czar?

Better get a doctor.
He's worse than I thought.

But-but-but his face...

You tickle, Natasha.

Go get a doctor, and quick.

And if you breathe a word

of the Reichsfuhrer's
subconscious...

Oh, no, no.
No, never, never. Not a word!

Help me get him up.

We've got to get him
out of here.

( muttering incoherently )

I'm quite all right,
quite all right.

I'm acting beautifully,
am I not?

No. Yes.

Even if we do not make it,
thank you.

( moans )

Don't worry,
he'll make it.

He's the best actor/
doorman in show business.

Let's go.

Mueller!

That was him.

Reichsfuhrer Himmler.

He's gone.

Jawohl, Colonel.

It was all
quite strange.

He had me chop
up your desk.

He released
prisoners.

He had a fall.

I went for
the doctor... Save the small talk.

Did he relieve me
of my command?

No, no, no, he-he
said nothing of that, sir.

Ah.
I believe we could

still catch up
with him, Colonel.

Son... that is why
you will never be

anything more
than a corporal. Never!

Perfect leave,
wasn't it?

Perfect.
Excitement, romance...

Do you think she was in love
with you or with me?

Why don't we come
back next month and find out?

Shh.

Colonel Klink will be here
any minute.

Good. Is he going
to come and thank us

for bringing back
his staff car?

KLINK:
Schultz.

Shh.

KLINK:
Schultz.

I am ready to go.

Let's get out
of this miserable city.

Jawohl, Herr
Kommandant.

You did not
enjoy your stay?

Enjoy? The worst experience
of my life.

My staff car stolen, arrested,
badgered by the Gestapo.

Oh. You will say nothing
about that, Schultz.

Nothing, Herr
Kommandant. Nothing!

And worst of all,
wherever I go,

I seem to hear and see
this insufferable Colonel Hogan.

HOGAN:
When Klink stops for lunch,

we'll have Schultz
bring us a nice pâté... Ah, wait!

some black bread.
Do you hear something, Schultz?

N-N-No, Commandant,
I hear nothing. Nothing!

Battle fatigue.

Let's get back
to Stalag 13.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Back to Stalag 13.

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