Original subtitles

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(RAIN TRICKLING)

(OMINOUS BEAT MUSIC)

(THUNDER CRACKLING)

(THUNDER CRACKLING)

(EERIE MUSIC)

Subtitles by explosiveskull

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

WOMAN: Why're we stopping?

It's the car.

You know, these old cars, they're always overheating, so.

Okay, so now what?

We just gotta wait a couple minutes.

(EERIE MUSIC)

I don't wanna be late for the party.

Just a couple minutes.

I got an idea of what we could do

while we're waiting.

Oh yeah, what's that?

Butt stuff.

What?

Kissing, I thought we could just kiss.

Classic

American

kissing.

(EERIE MUSIC)

I should call my sister and tell her I'm gonna be late.

Sure.

Yeah, do that.

Family first.

Then teamwork.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Hey.

No, we're on our way.

No.

Jay's car overheated,

so we're just waiting for it to cool down.

No, I'm fine. (EERIE MUSIC)

I am fine, trust me.

No, he's not.

Mandy.

(CHUCKLING)

Trust me.

Okay, I'll see.

Mandy, please don't tell Mom

because, you know,

the way she gets.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

How's the car?

Probably just got another couple of minutes.

Hey,

I stole some Halloween candy

from some kids in my neighborhood.

You want a piece?

Yeah, actually, I do.

Ah.

What?

What do you say?

Trick-or-treat?

There you go, go for it. (GIGGLING)

I can't feel anything.

You got it, just pull on it!

Pull on it!

- Please. - I'm trying, it's stuck.

Just keep pulling on it.

Keep grabbing.

It's like a Toostie Roll.

It's a full-size candy bar.

What?

What happened?

What?

You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

(EERIE MUSIC)

Where you going?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You don't have to go, it was just a joke.

You're fucking disgusting.

It was a joke!

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

What're you doing?

Jay, just fuck off.

You're just gonna walk home?

I'll find a ride, just go.

Sara, it was just a joke.

(CRYING)

I'll find a ride, just go, just go.

You know, it's going to be hard for you to find a ride

when you don't have this.

Give me that.

Give me that.

You want this?

Give me the phone.

- Give me the phone. - Ooooooh.

Have fun walking, bitch.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Jay!

Jay!

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(CRYING)

Asshole.

Fuck! (SCREAMING)

(CRYING)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Oh, shit!

(TRIES SCREECHING)

(EERIE MUSIC)

(KNOCKING)

Hello?

(KNOCKING)

I just need to use your phone.

(KNOCKING)

Can somebody help me, I just need,

I just need to use the phone.

(KNOCKING)

(DISTANT MACHINERY BUZZING)

(EERIE MUSIC)

(MACHINERY BUZZING)

Hello?

Hello?

Is anyone in here?

(MACHINERY BUZZING)

(FOREBODING MUSIC)

Hello?

Hello?

(EERIE MUSIC)

Hello?

(MACHINERY POWERING DOWN)

(MENACING MUSIC)

(EERIE CHIMING MUSIC)

(SINISTER MUSIC)

(GASPING)

(GASPING)

(EERIE MUSIC)

(LEAVES RUSTLING)

(UNSETTLING MUSIC)

Sara.

Jay?

Jay! (CRYING)

WOMAN: Trick 'r treat.

(SCREAMING)

(MENACING MUSIC)

(RADIO TUNING)

RADIO DJ: It's another beautiful October day

here in Yost Town.

Halloween's right around the corner, folks.

I'll be in Inebriate City for the two for ones

and don't forget, the girls with the sluttiest costumes

get in free and drink till they pass out.

I'm your man, DJ Dick, "from 105.6 The Mix,"

putting hits all up in your mouth.

(EXCITING MUSIC)

(DISTANT TRAIN HORN BLOWING)

Have you ever killed anything?

What?

Like, when you were younger.

Every kill a bird, cat or anything?

I killed a pet fish by overfeeding it once.

Have you ever just wanted to just kill someone?

(CHUCKLING)

I don't know, maybe.

Hey, what's up with you and Ricky anyway?

Did you fuck him yet?

Jesus, Mandy.

What?

Don't tell me you haven't fucked him yet.

Maybe.

Whatever, Melissa.

At least given a handy?

You're such a slut.

Oh wait, look.

There she is.

MELISSA: Who?

MANDY: Old Aunt Ethel.

Why do they call her "Old Aunt Ethel?"

Because, like 20 years ago,

she killed her entire family in that house

and all the neighbors could hear someone inside yelling,

"Stop, Aunt Ethel!

"Please, God, stop, Aunt Ethel!"

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Hey! (MENACING MUSIC)

Jesus, Mark. (LAUGHING)

You scared the shit out of me.

What're you scared of?

I haven't even pulled it out yet.

Ew.

Gross.

(MOANING)

Guys!

I love this girl.

Oh.

Just telling Melissa, here, the story of Old Aunt Ethel.

Oh yeah, it's almost Halloween, huh?

What does that mean?

(CHUCKLING)

So Old Aint Ethel,

every year on Halloween, she lures the kids inside.

Says she has very special candy,

candy that's gonna make all their wishes come true.

And when she gets them inside,

she slaughters them,

sawing off their limbs, one by one.

Yeah right.

No, it's true.

Then why isn't she in jail yet?

Because if you don't have a body,

you don't have a crime.

MELISSA: What does that mean?

They say that Old Aunt Ethel,

she turns all the kids' body parts in Halloween treats,

leaving behind no remains at all.

(EERIE CHIMING TUNE)

That's one psychotic bitch.

You definitely don't wanna

go trick-or-treating at her place.

She'll turn you into pumpkin pie.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC)

(PHONE CLICKING)

(PHONE CHIMING)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

11, 12

13, 14,

15, 16, 17,

18, 19,

20.

11 more to go.

(PHONE CHIMING)

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello.

Hey, girl, what you doin'?

You know, just "twerking the fleek," right?

What?

I don't know.

You going to Mandy's party tonight?

I don't know yet.

I still have a lot of studying and stuff to do.

Bitch, you better.

You on the rag or something?

MELISSA: What? No!

Mmmmm.

You got that heavy flow.

Girl, just double up.

Double up?

Yeah, girl, just stick two super heavy flows

right up in that bitch

and you could party for four hours straight.

No leakage.

Ha.

What, no, I'm not on my period.

I just don't know if I'm gonna go yet.

Girl, you gotta live a little.

This is not Ohio or wherever the fuck you from.

We party hard out here, okay, hoe?

Okay.

Hey, do you know about all that "Old Aunt Ethel" stuff?

Yeah, girl, everybody has heard about Old Aunt Ethel.

I mean, is it true that she takes all the kids

on Halloween night and stuff?

Bitch, you worry about the wrong things, okay?

Get your shit together, we partying hard tonight.

Okay, hoe.

(MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC)

(EERIE CHIMING MUSIC)

Ah.

Let's see.

What do I need?

Bop!

Ah!

Ah, yes,

I need you.

Yeah!

Ah, I love that.

Woo.

(LAUGHING)

(CACKLING)

(KNIFE SLICING)

(EERIE CHIMING MUSIC)

Yee-haw!

Yee-haw!

Look at that.

(CACKLING)

Oh, I'm getting excited!

I'm getting excited!

(MENACING MUSIC)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

(GRASS RUSTLING)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

(EERIE MUSIC)

(THUMPING)

(SIGHING)

(THUMPING)

Ricky!

Get the fuck out of here!

Oh!

Sorry.

And now!

(CACKLING)

Time for my famous pickled chocolates.

(MENACING MUSIC)

(SQUELCHING)

Mmmm, it already smells good.

(UNSETTLING MUSIC)

Oh, the heel.

The heel and the balls.

The balls of the feet are the best.

(CACKLING)

Mmmm-mmmm, I can almost taste 'em.

I can almost taste 'em.

I love it.

Everybody loves them.

I'll eat 'em, that's for damn sure.

(LAUGHING)

Yes, sir.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Perfect.

Perfect.

All right, now, let's get these in the oven.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Ah, yes.

Of course.

With this soul, another day will come.

(CACKLING)

(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)

ALL: 100!

Yeah, bitches!

(CHEERING)

(GAGGING)

(GROANING)

(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)

(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)

(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)

(MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC)

(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)

(MUSIC DISTORTING)

(MUSIC MUTING)

Aren't you with Melissa?

What?

No, I ditched that bitch.

No fucking way.

(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)

Hey, what's up, bitch?

Are you seeing this?

Ew, what a dick.

Just come on, fuck him.

Melissa, wait!

I just can't believe he would do this to me.

Fuck him, Melissa.

Who cares?

I care!

Well, what did you expect?

What does that mean?

You haven't even given him a handy.

Great, thanks.

Nice pep talk.

(KNOCKING)

RICKY: Melissa, can we please talk?

She doesn't want to talk to you, Ricky.

RICKY: Melissa, please, just give me a chance to explain.

Come on.

There's nothing to explain.

I can handle this.

Fine, go ahead, I was just trying to help.

I really don't care about what you have to say, Ricky.

It's all bullshit anyways.

Just leave me alone.

Yeah, fuck off, Ricky.

(MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC)

(KNOCKING)

Leave me alone, Ricky.

MARK: It's me, Mark.

Well, is Ricky there with you?

No, he left, like, a long time ago.

Are you kidding me?

Whatever, fuck him.

Let's party.

Dr. Dick in the house.

I think I wanna go home.

Come on, Mel.

I'm really not in the mood to party.

Come on, don't let him get in the way

of you living your life, Melissa.

It's not just him.

I was up late last night studying, I'm tired.

I'm just gonna go.

I'll walk with you.

Fuck, seriously?

You don't have to do that, Mandy, I'm fine.

She's fine, babe.

Mark, shut up.

This is girl code.

You don't fucking get it.

You're right, I don't fucking get it.

And don't make me pull a "Ricky" on you too.

Really, Mark?

Too soon?

Fuck you.

Eh.

I'll tell you what, Mark.

You go ahead and pull a "Ricky" on me

but you better make it worth your while

because it'll be the last time you stick that little pee-pee

in a vagina ever again, got it?

Got it.

Now you're gonna get it.

(GIGGLING)

Seriously?

Jesus.

You need to get over him, ASAP, seriously.

I wasn't gonna say anything but I fucked him last year

and he was, like, the quickest cummer ever.

It was pitiful.

Mandy, are you serious?

What? It was last year before you guys even met.

And you weren't gonna tell me?

I did just tell you.

Jesus, Mandy.

Whatevs.

My point is you need to get over him.

He's a waste of time.

Seems like everything's a waste of time nowadays.

Oh, look.

There's Aunt Ethel.

Come on, let's go look.

MELISSA: No.

MANDY: Come on.

Seriously?

Well, wait up.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(METAL SCRAPING)

She looks like a regular old lady baking a cake to me.

It may seem that way but I assure you it's not.

She's probably boiling someone's skull right now.

Oh, come on.

ETHEL: Yes, sir.

This is ridiculous.

Why are we creeping around some poor old lady?

Poor old lady?

Yeah right.

I'm going home.

This is stupid.

Mmmm-mmmm.

(EERIE MUSIC)

Yes, sir.

(SQUELCHING)

Mmmmmm.

Oh,

it's delicious.

Mmmmm.

Put that back in there.

Yes, sir.

(SOMBER MUSIC)

(CLOCK TICKING)

(SIGHING)

(SOMBER BEAT MUSIC)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

(EERIE MUSIC)

(CRUNCHING)

Shit.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Hey!

What're you doing there?

You trick-or-treating?

Trick-or-treat.

Well, Halloween ain't for a couple days.

You're early.

I'm really bad about time, I'm so sorry.

- No. - I'll just be going now.

You're in luck because I never turn away company.

And I make the best pickled Halloween treats in town.

They're chocolate and they're delicious.

Come on in.

I really should be going.

Oh, no, no, no, not yet.

Not yet, dear.

I've got some delicious treats inside.

Come on in.

- Come on, come on in. - I should be going.

Come on.

I really don't wanna ruin my appetite, like you said.

Halloween's a couple days away, right?

ETHEL: You gonna come back to see me on Halloween?

Yeah.

You better, young lady.

Cause everyone loves

Aunt Ethel's

pickled chocolates.

They're homemade.

(MENACING MUSIC)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(SHOWER SPRAYING)

Mom, is that you?

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(WATER TRICKLING)

(EERIE MUSIC)

(FOREBODING MUSIC)

Jesus, Ricky, what're you doing here?!

What?!

The front door was open.

I called for you but you didn't answer.

How long have you been here?

I just walked in.

Don't worry, I didn't see anything.

Get out!

I just wanna talk.

Leave!

Before I call the cops!

Are you serious?

Get out!

Okay.

Okay.

You know, you're making a big fucking mistake.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Jeez.

(ENGINE RUMBLING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)

(CREAKING)

(HUFFING)

(MOANING)

Okay, just wait here.

Don't move.

Don't move.

(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)

(SOMBER MUSIC)

(SIGHING)

- (PHONE RINGING) - Shit!

I'll be right back.

No cheating.

Just wait right there. (PHONE RINGING)

Hello.

MAN: Hi, this is Mortimer J. Jackson.

Who?

MORTIMER: Mortimer J. Jackson.

I'm with...

Who now?

MORTIMER: Mortimer J. Jackson.

What?

- I'm with... - What? What?

MORTIMER: I'm with Vacation Surplus, ma'am.

What do you want?

MORTIMER: Ma'am, I was just calling today

to ask you if you were curious about

ever wanting to take a vacation.

Ma'am, have you thought about...

No!

MORTIMER: Ma'am, have you thought...

No!

I don't have any, I don't want any either.

MORTIMER: Hello, ma'am?

(PHONE RINGING)

(CREAKING)

Hey, what's up, bitch?

Hey, what're you up to?

Nothing.

You'll never guess what Ricky just did.

Did you catch him jacking off outside your window?

What? No.

Why?

I never told you that?

Told me what?

He jacks off outside my window sometimes.

But he does it to like everybody.

Jesus, Mandy, why did you set me up with this creep?

I didn't want to be the only one with crabs.

What?!

What?

Nothing, you're fine, just keep going.

What are you doing?

Nothing, wanna come over?

Yeah.

Oh, remind me,

I have something to tell you when I get there.

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

You cheated.

You cheated!

I had six!

I know damn well I had six!

(SMACKING)

You cheater!

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

Well I'll be damned.

I do have six.

(KNOCKING)

MELISSA: Hey, Mrs. Cooper, is Mandy home?

Hey.

Sara, right?

Melissa, actually.

Oh, right, Melissa.

I guess you just have one of those forgettable faces.

Oh, okay.

Is Mandy home?

Yeah.

The bitch is in her room.

So, where you guys going tonight?

Oh, I'm not sure.

Well, I can hang out with you guys tonight

if you wanted me to.

You know what the new in thing is these days, don't you?

What's that?

MILFs.

These young guys, they love us MILFs.

Mom's I'd Like to...

No, I got it, I got it.

I know what a MILF is.

And I could even hook you guys up.

Like when a guy hits on me and I don't like him,

then I could let you have him.

Gee, thanks.

Okay, well just let me know.

Right.

(KNOCKING)

MANDY: Come in.

Jesus, you guys.

MANDY: It's all good, just come in.

No, I'll wait.

Babe.

I was just about to cum.

Well now you're just about to leave.

So it's like that?

It's like that.

Look, guys, I can go.

No.

He's leaving.

This is bullshit, Mandy.

No, this is girl code, bitch.

Raised on the streets, son.

Don't get clapped up.

You know what, fuck you.

What was that?

I said, fuck you.

Prove it.

(MOANING)

Just get out.

You are one crazy bitch.

So, what did you have to tell me?

Oh, right.

Okay, so last night I couldn't sleep,

so I ended up going on this walk.

It was like 2AM or something

and I ended up going past Old Aunt Ethel's house

and I went up and looked in her window and she caught me.

MANDY: See saw you?

Yeah, she asked if I was

like trick-or-treating or something.

Are you kidding me?

Uh uh, and then she asked if I wanted

any of her pickled chocolates.

You didn't eat any, did you?

No.

Why?

MANDY: Because those are chocolate-covered body parts.

Oh, yeah right.

I'm serious, everyone knows about her picked chocolates.

What are you looking for?

My fucking weed.

I bet my mom took it again.

Mom, did you take my fucking weed again?!

Fucking bitch!

MRS. COOPER: For the last time, Mandy,

I did not take your weed!

Yes you did, you stole my fucking weed!

Fucking bitch!

I hate that bitch!

Hello.

Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing?

I just got to Joe's house.

Will you come back here first?

You just told me to leave, Mandy.

I know but I need you back.

Yeah, what do you want?

What makes you think I want something?

You don't want anything?

Okay, yes.

See, I fucking told you.

Will you go to Breed's and get some weed for me, please?

Come on, Mandy, you know I don't like going over there.

He's fucking crazy.

(KNOCKING)

BREED: Were you followed?

No, man.

Did you circle the block

to make sure them boys didn't follow you?

Yeah, yeah dude.

Come on, motherfucker.

(MUFFLED MUSIC)

All right, motherfucker, you know the drill.

Hands up.

You got anything on you?

No, no, I jut want some weed, man.

What'd you say, motherfucker?

I just wondered...

I know what you said but why you saying it like that?

You got a wire?

No, I'm so sorry, dude!

Is this thing real?

Please don't kill me, please!

I haven't had sex without a condom yet!

(CRYING)

And see if he has any more of that White Tahoe.

Fine.

♪ Hey, yah, yah, yah, yah ♪

♪ Oooooooooooh ♪

♪ Hey, yah, yah, hey, yah, yah ♪

♪ Oooooooooooh ♪

(GIGGLING)

I love you. (PHONE CHIMING)

Hello?

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

(COUGHING)

Wanna hit?

You sure?

It's that White Tahoe.

♪ Hey, yah, yah, hey, yah, yah ♪

♪ Oooooooooooh ♪

(LAUGHING)

(COUGHING)

Hey, you know?

I'm sorry about earlier.

What's your name anyway?

Katie.

That's it.

Katie.

No!

Rachel.

Yeah.

You look like a Rachel, that's who you are.

Rachel.

Hey, did you guys hear about Rachel?

No, what?

MARK: She went missing.

No way.

Yeah, she's been missing for like three days.

What happened to her?

She went missing.

(COUGHING)

No, like,

like what do you think happened to her?

This stupid bitch.

MANDY: I bet Aunt Ethel got her.

Why?

It's like, throughout the whole month of October,

people disappear.

And sometimes you can smell the bodies burning.

What do you mean?

So they say Aunt Ethel,

the body parts that she doesn't turn into Halloween treats,

she burns in a big pile behind her barn.

You're totally fucking with me.

MANDY: No, it's true.

Did you tell her our plan yet?

No, okay, so listen.

Tomorrow night is Halloween, right?

So we're gonna have a stakeout at Aunt Ethel's house.

Why would you want to cook steak at Aunt Ethel's?

No, a stakeout isn't when you cook steak with someone,

you fucking idiot!

It's when you watch somebody, like some investigative shit.

Why would you wanna do that?

We are doing that.

Why would I wanna do that?

Because, don't you wanna see

what she really does with those kids?

I'm sure she doesn't do anything with them.

Yeah she does.

I heard that she scoops your eyeballs out of your skull

with a spoon and then she eats them.

Oh, whatever.

(EERIE CHIMING MUSIC)

Well,

Rach,

I think it's time we head out to the barn.

You just about warn out your welcome.

(EERIE CHIMING MUSIC)

Now hold still, it won't hurt a bit.

(SQUELCHING)

Come on, oh!

Shit!

Damn!

Son of a bitch!

Come on, you slippery socket!

Gosh!

Piss!

Damn!

Bloody whore.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, damn it.

Shit.

(GROANING) (SQUELCHING)

Ah.

(CACKLING)

Woo, baby.

What a beauty.

Oh, I can't wait to have you pickled.

Mmmmm, you're already good.

You're being ridiculous.

So come with us and let's find out.

Unless you're too scared.

I'm not scared of a little old lady.

You should be.

(EERIE MUSIC)

Jesus!

It's just my mom.

What are you doing in here?

Are you smoking weed in here, Mandy?

No, Mom, get out!

Oh, come on, let me get a little hit.

Get the fuck out of my room, Mom!

Whatever.

Oh,

hi Mark.

Hi, Miss Cooper.

Have you been working out?

A little bit.

Mmmmmm.

I can tell.

MANDY: Gross, Mom, that's so weird.

Get out of here!

Don't be jealous, Mandy, it's not attractive.

Trust me, I'm not jealous.

You're just gross.

You are jealous because I'm a MILF.

You're so not a MILF, Mom.

I am a MILF, Mandy!

(GROANING)

I wish I never had you!

God, what a bitch.

MARK: I don't know, I think she's pretty cool.

Oh, fuck you, Mark.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(EERIE MUSIC)

(CLOCK TICKING)

(FIRE CRACKLING)

(UNSETTLING MUSIC)

(THUMPING)

(RICKY HUFFING)

Hey!

What're you doing, you dirty little pervert!

(MENACING MUSIC)

Oh, shit!

Run, rabbit, run!

(MENACING MUSIC)

(WHOOSHING)

(GROANING)

(EERIE MUSIC)

Gotcha, little rabbit.

(SQUELCHING)

So,

here you are.

Where do I start?

Ah, yes.

(SQUELCHING)

(UNSETTLING MUSIC)

(CACKLING)

You won't be needing this anymore.

(CACKLING)

Seven more.

(SOMBER CHIMING MUSIC)

That girl just pushed me, can I choke her out?

What? No.

Just got tell her it wasn't very nice

and I won't play with her anymore.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello.

WOMAN: Hello, Melissa, this is Ricky's mom.

Oh, hi.

WOMAN: Have you seen Ricky lately?

No, I haven't seen him in a couple days.

WOMAN: Well, he didn't come home last night

and we're getting worried.

I'm sure he'll show up.

WOMAN: Please let me know if you see him.

I will.

Hello?

Happy Halloween, bitch.

You ready for our stakeout tonight?

Hey, so Ricky's mom just called me

and she hasn't seen him for a couple days.

Have you?

No, matter of fact,

he didn't even jack-off outside my window last night.

What?

Hold on, Gio.

I'm sure he's fine.

Well, if you see him, let him know that his mom's worried.

Hey, so what're you doing today?

You wanna go shopping?

I can't, I'm at the park right now

babysitting my little nephew.

Hold on, Gio!

Okay, well call me when you get home then.

Okay, I will, bye.

Jesus, Gio!

When I'm on the phone, don't bother me like that.

What's up?

I chocked her out.

Oh, shit, come on.

(EERIE MUSIC)

Six more.

Six more, six more.

(GROANING)

All right.

I think I got everything we need.

We got handcuffs,

rope,

zip ties.

We got the gun

and an apple.

MANDY: What's the apple for?

I don't know, it was already there.

Oh, right, that's my apple.

(CRUNCHING)

(KNOCKING)

Who is it?

Melissa.

Oh shit, put this stuff away, quick.

What, you didn't tell her?

No, now shut up and put it away.

What?

- Hey. - Hi.

What's up?

MELISSA: What's up with you guys?

Nothing.

Yeah, nothing.

You guys are weird.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

Now what?

We wait.

Wait for what?

We wait for her to take a couple of kids inside

and then we see what she really does with them.

And what if she doesn't?

Oh, she will.

She will.

Mandy, you've been really quiet.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Okay, this is boring.

Could we play some music or something?

No!

Fuck!

There aren't even any trick-or-treaters out.

That's because most people know

about Old Aunt Ethel, okay?

Kids don't come around this block very often

but there's always that one.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

And there he is.

(FOREBODING MUSIC)

(KNOCKING)

BOY: Trick 'r treat.

ETHEL: Well, hello there.

(EERIE MUSIC)

Okay, here we go.

See?

I told you!

I fucking told you!

He could come back out.

Oh no, they never come back out.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

He's been in there for like 10 minutes now.

Look.

Look, another kid.

(KNOCKING)

Trick or treat.

Well look at you.

Don't you look delicious.

I mean, scary.

Are you a little witch?

Yeah.

I just love witches.

Do you know any magic spells?

No.

Well guess what,

I know a real magic spell.

Do you wanna see it?

Yeah.

Come inside and I'll show you.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

And there's another one that's not going home

to Mommy and Daddy tonight.

(EERIE MUSIC)

Okay.

Let's do this.

Do what?

Listen, I didn't tell you everything about tonight

but now you see why we have to do this.

Do what?

Mandy, what are you talking about?

We're going to kill Old Aunt Ethel.

I'm gonna blow her fucking head off.

Calm down, Mark.

You guys are crazy, you can't kill her.

Why?

She's killing poor, innocent children, Melissa.

How can you let that happen?

We have to call the police.

Those kids will be fucking dead

before those cops ever get here with a search warrant.

I'm gonna blow her fucking head off.

I can't do this, I can't fucking kill her.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Look, there's a kid at the door.

(KNOCKING)

Trick or treat.

That's my nephew, Gio!

Gio!

You can't go running up there, screaming like that.

You'll never see him again.

Let go of me.

Listen to me.

Look at me, you dumb bitch!

There's a right way to do this, okay?

We're gonna save your nephew, I promise,

but not like this.

I need you to calm down and trust me.

So, look at "Miss Toughy Pants" now, huh?

Just a second ago you didn't want anything to do with this.

Now look at you.

It's different, Mandy, she has my nephew.

It's always someone's nephew, someone's brother.

Someone's sister.

It's funny how everything changes

when it's your own family, isn't it?

Well, I know exactly how it feels, Melissa.

Aunt Ethel took a sister from me.

She took my brother from me.

Guys, I didn't know.

I'm so sorry.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

You ready to kill this fucking bitch?

I'm ready to kill this bitch.

(OMINOUS BEAT MUSIC)

Let's kill this bitch.

Gio.

(SHUSHING)

You can't cause a seen by letting him see you.

If he starts screaming and yelling,

Aunt Ethel's gonna come out here

and we're gonna lose out chance to end this

once and for all.

We're going to save him,

okay?

Come on.

(OMINOUS BEAT MUSIC)

All right, all you have to do

is wait for me to get inside.

Okay?

Then you're gonna knock on the front door

and distract Aunt Ethel.

She's gonna think it's trick-or-treaters.

When she opens the door,

bang,

I blow her fucking head off.

You guys okay?

Hey.

I got this.

Just trust me.

I love you.

(FOREBODING MUSIC)

(GASPING)

What are you girls doing there?!

BOTH: Nothing.

Hey,

you're that girl from the other night.

And you brought a friend with you?

Yeah.

Trick-or-treat.

Well,

I'm so glad you came back.

I have some delicious treats inside.

Come with me.

(FOREBODING MUSIC)

Mmmm.

Sit.

Sit.

(EERIE MUSIC)

So,

where are your costumes?

I'm dressed as her and she's dressed as me.

Yeah.

We were trying to be funny.

Not impressed.

Mmmmm.

(EERIE MUSIC)

Mmmmm-mmmmm.

Care for some of my famous homemade pickled chocolates?

No, thank you.

We've already eaten so much candy tonight.

Well don't look disgusted.

They're delicious.

Mmmmm.

Hey!

Hey!

Oh my God.

Dude, we're fucked.

I can never get enough of 'em.

Oh man.

Mmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmm, mmmmm.

MARK: Hey!

Hey, what the fuck?!

I can never get enough of 'em.

They are so good.

I make 'em myself, you know.

Homemade.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Can I use your bathroom, please?

Yeah.

Sure, it's in the back, there.

Come with me, Melissa.

MELISSA: I'm gonna go with her, if that's okay?

Mmhmmm.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

What are we gonna do?

I don't know, I don't know.

Let's just climb out this window.

No, we can't leave without Gio.

Right, okay.

Think, think, think.

Look for anything we can use as a weapon.

Okay.

Did you find anything yet?

Not unless we can use a toothbrush or a toilet brush.

(KNOCKING)

ETHEL: You girls all right in there?

Yeah, we'll be right out.

ETHEL: Well, you have some company here.

Company?

Yes, your friend is here to see you.

(EERIE MUSIC)

Okay, okay!

Sit, sit, sit.

He wants it to be a surprise.

Yes, he wants it to be a surprise!

Stay right there and I'll be right back.

Look who's here to save you.

Isn't that sweet?

Awwwww.

"Hey,

"look at me.

"I'm the coolest kid in school

"and I'm here to save you."

(CACKLING)

He's here to save you.

(CACKLING)

Mark?

Oh, right.

So, listen,

I slit this throat.

He's only got about 15 seconds to live.

So, little girls, you got anything you wanna say?

Mark, I'm so sorry.

You know what?

Yep.

I was wrong.

He's dead.

He didn't hear a word you said.

(LAUGHING)

Fucking bitch!

You're fucking dead!

No so fast, sunshine.

Does this look familiar?

Your little friend here said I could have it.

I've never had a gun before.

I can't wait to try it out.

You having fun, buddy?

BOY: Yeah.

(GUNSHOT BOOMING)

(SCREAMING)

Hey, let's check out the next house.

(SCREAMING)

Hey, hey!

Calm the hell down, buttercup,

unless you want me to lay you down beside her.

Is that what you want?

No, no.

Well then get a hold of yourself.

(CRYING)

Get up.

Come on, get over here.

(STAMMERING)

Get up and get your ass over here.

(CRYING)

Push your little friend here out of the chair

and sit down in it.

What?

Oh, is this too hard?

Push him out of the chair and sit down in it.

(CRYING)

Oh.

Would you put some muscle into it?

(CRYING)

Oh, for Lord's sakes, let me.

(MELISSA CRYING)

Now, was that too hard?

Now sit down!

What are you going to do?

Little poor baby.

Listen, don't take it too personal.

You're taking it too hard.

Please don't do this.

"Please don't.

"Please don't."

There is good news.

I need to deliver 31 souls.

You get to end it because you're number 31.

What do you mean?

Do you believe in witches?

MELISSA: No.

How about curses and evil spells?

MELISSA: No.

Well you should.

On this very day, 40 years ago,

a witch put a curse on me.

I need to deliver 31 souls

for every day that dead walk.

And you, little bunny,

make 31.

If I make 31, then Gio's 32.

You don't have to kill Gio.

Who?

There's a little boy in your barn.

His name is Gio and he's my nephew.

If I'm 31 then he's 32 and you don't have to kill him.

Please, just take me and let him go.

Yeah, sure.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

How will I know you'll let him go if I'm dead?

You'll just have to trust me.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Jesus Christ, just wait a second!

Oh, come on!

I'm dying to use this thing again.

Please, there must be another way.

(EERIE MUSIC)

(SOBBING)

(KNOCKING)

Trick or treat.

(EERIE MUSIC)

Okay, it's done.

There's your 31st soul.

Can we go home now, please?

I forgot to mention one little thing.

What?

What, are you going to let us go?

Oh, you can go.

(LAUGHING)

Then why are you laughing?

The only way my curse

could ever be broken

is if someone else offered to take the 31st soul for me.

What?

You

took the 31st soul for the dead.

What does that mean?

Well that means that you

are the cursed one now.

(CACKLING)

No.

No.

(CACKLING)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Aaah!

In 31 hours

or less,

you will receive a message.

It will tell you everything you need to know.

(GASPING)

Oh my God, it was just a dream.

Jesus Christ.

(SIGHING)

(PHONE CLICKING)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

No.

No.

(DEMONIC WHISPERING)

No!

(OMINOUS BEAT MUSIC)

(EERIE MUSIC)

(BEAT MUSIC)

♪ Shit ♪

♪ Listen ♪

♪ This ain't no bullshit ♪

♪ The gangsta say ♪

♪ This ain't no game, bitch ♪

♪ Real gangsta shit ♪

♪ Aunt Ethel, for real ♪

♪ Aunt Ethel, gangsta, on the scene ♪

♪ Don't fuck around ♪

♪ She is a crazy bitch, yo ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ She's a gangsta from the streets ♪

♪ She will fuck around and make you into Halloween treats ♪

♪ She's a killa ♪

♪ From the hood ♪

♪ She's just an old lady but she'll kill you if she could ♪

♪ It's the A to the U to the N to the T ♪

♪ To the E to the T to the H to the E ♪

♪ To the motherfucking L, cursed by a spell ♪

♪ The witch's is life is a fucking hell ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ Keep track of your kids and tell them that what you did ♪

♪ Stay away from Aunt Ethel if you want them to live ♪

♪ She likes to pickle your feet ♪

♪ She likes to pickle your eyes ♪

♪ She likes to cook the kids up into pumpkin pie ♪

♪ She's a crazy bitch who don't give a shit ♪

♪ She chopped off Ricky's dick ♪

♪ It's a dirty game, it's a goddamn shame ♪

♪ Everybody watch out and learn the name ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ Haven't you heard, Aunt Ethel got to earn ♪

♪ She got fire fueled bodies, watch them burn ♪

♪ She's gotta put in work, she's gotta do the dirt ♪

♪ She got get it done before the 31st ♪

♪ You better watch your back, bitch ♪

♪ She got to get, bitch ♪

♪ Slow it down ♪

♪ She's gonna ratatat-tat bitch ♪

♪ You better listen because it's like that ♪

♪ She will fuck you up and turn you into Halloween snacks ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel, dog ♪

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

Melissa, wait!

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

All right, is that a cut?

Mom, did you take my fucking weed...

(MAN MUMBLING)

(GROANING)

MAN: Sorry.

(LAUGHING)

Got it.

(FAINT UPBEAT MUSIC)

Cool?

Very cool, man.

ETHEL: Hey!

What're you girls doing there?!

BOTH: Nothing.

ETHEL: Hey.

(LAUGHING)

It just went right in her mouth.

Ew.

I watch it go right.

MAN: What went in her mouth?

A bug just went.

I watched her spit it out.

She just went, phew.

(WOMEN MUMBLING)

All right, now listen up, motherfuckers.

Ya know what I mean?

Hey.

(LAUGHING)

Hey.

Hey.

What's up?

(LAUGHING)

MAN: Get it together.

Close the door.

(FAINT BEAT MUSIC)

(LAUGHING)

Holy shit, that's gonna be so fucking funny.

So where are you looking at, that light?

MARK: I'm looking at Austin's nipples.

I'm serious.

MARK: Yeah.

No, I'm serious.

That's like where I'm looking,

is right, ironically, where his nipples are.

Okay, nipples, got it.

Right, so from Joe's nipples to Austin's nipples.

That's my nephew, Gio!

Gio!

MARK: It's looked.

(LAUGHING)

MAN: And action.

(KNOCKING)

MANDY: Come in.

Oh, nevermind.

What?

(KNOCKING)

MANDY: Come on.

Jesus, you guys.

I'm sorry.

MAN: And

action.

MELISSA: Ugh.

(LAUGHING)

MAN: You're not gonna say your line?

(LAUGHING)

MANDY: I can't even.

(THUMPING)

MAN: Okay.

(LAUGHING)

(DRAMATIC BEAT MUSIC)

Subtitles by explosiveskull

(DRAMATIC BEAT MUSIC)

(DRAMATIC BEAT MUSIC)

(DRAMATIC BEAT MUSIC)

(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)

♪ Hey, yo ♪

♪ It's the Uzi you, we pickle then chew ♪

♪ She'll have your ass over than a Lifetime movie ♪

♪ Can't movie, bitch, can't be choosy, bitch ♪

♪ Ain't nothing but a witch just doing shit ♪

♪ It's the psycho crazy, psycho lady ♪

♪ Your crazy bitch that will pickle your baby ♪

♪ She'll say so ♪

♪ Ain't nothing, your bitch is gonna do nothing ♪

♪ Aunt Ethel ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel ♪

♪ In the hood ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ See no evil, hear no evil ♪

♪ Aunt Ethel's sitting around pickling people ♪

♪ She's a lunatic ♪

♪ And you knew this shit ♪

♪ Real witches don't fly around on broom sticks ♪

♪ She's a killer, a gangsta ♪

♪ She'll prisoner your shanker ♪

♪ Everybody knocking at the door is in danger ♪

♪ So, listen closely ♪

♪ You hear the words ♪

♪ Or you'll be the one with the bitch's curse ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪

♪ Better watch your back because it's time for Halloween ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ It's Aunt Ethel ♪