Original subtitles

Subs created by: David Coleman.

[Music]

Oh hey, honey, don't forget...

This Saturday night it's the D.P.C.A.A.D.D.

I thought we agreed you guys would stop spelling things around me.

It stands for the Denver Pest Control Association Annual Dinner Dance.

Also known as the Bug Prom.

And this year the Duncans will be attending.

Oh, that's right, you guys didn't go last year because Toby had just been born.

Shoot! I forgot to have a baby this year.

Come on, honey, we always have a lot of fun at these things.

Hey, this year the theme is Fire-Ant Fiesta.

Bob, honey, do we really have to go?

Yes, we have to go.

I'm kind of a big cheese at the D.P.C.A.

If I don't show up, a lot of people are going to be disappointed.

That's weird. Usually people are disappointed when you do show up.

Well, we're going to need a babysitter.

Don't look at me. I'm taking Lauren to see the biggest movie of the year...

Megasquad.

Is that the one about the world's four greatest super heroes teaming up?

Well, I'm not sure you can call them the four greatest,

especially since the death of Eco-Man is now in question.

See, the thing is, if you really want to understand

the complicated dynamics of Megasquad,

you have to go back to the formation of the Assembly of Righteousness.

Hard to believe he's got a girlfriend, huh?

I can babysit. I have to make something for cooking school, might as well do it here.

All right, great. Then we're all set.

What if someone left a baby on our doorstep?

Then I wouldn't have to go, right?

We're going.

Oh, poor Mom.

I'm so glad I don't have to go to those things.

- [Cellphone ringing] - Oh.

Hello? Oh hi, Beau.

Yeah, Saturday I'm free. What do you have in mind?

Oh.

Yeah... yeah, that sounds fun.

Oh... okay. Bye.

- Going to the Bug Prom? - Going to the Bug Prom.

[Rock music playing]

Today's all burnt toast running late and Dad jokes.

"Has anybody seen my left shoe?"

I close my eyes, take a bite grab a ride, laugh out loud.

There it is up on the roof.

I've been there, I survived.

So just take my advice.

Hang in there, baby things are crazy.

But I know your future's bright.

Hang in there, baby, there's no maybe.

Everything turns out all right.

Sure life is up and down.

But trust me, it comes back around.

You're gonna love who you turn out to be.

Hang in there, baby.

[Music]

So you excited about Saturday?

Are you kidding? Going to a bug-themed dance with my parents?

- What girl wouldn't be excited? - [Laughs]

Oh, listen. If it's all right with you...

I'd like to invite my Aunt to come too.

She's been so sweet, you know, putting me up and all.

Yeah, of course.

I mean, if you want to just take her, I can bow out.

No way!

My Aunt's really looking forward to meeting you and your parents.

- Really? - And she's reporting back to my Mom.

So this is kind of a big moment in our relationship.

Oh, so we... we have a relationship, huh?

Not if this doesn't go well.

[Laughs]

I'm just messing with you.

But really, it does have to go well.

[Doorbell rings]

Ugh!

What do you want?

Aren't you going to ask me in?

Well, I guess I should.

You are the Grandmother of my girlfriend.

But you are my mortal enemy, so I'm torn.

I'm just here to tell you Lauren can't go to the movies tomorrow night.

Her Dad came into town and took her on a camping trip for a few days.

Oh, come on, I already bought the tickets to see Megasquad.

So you can still go! I'll even take you and bring you home.

Whoa.

Why are you being nice to me?

Why wouldn't I be nice to the boy who's taking me to see Megasquad?

[Laughs]

No no, no way.

But I want to see it and it's sold out. And you need a ride.

Why do you want to see Megasquad?

I started reading the comic books when I was a little girl.

I even hold issue #1, where these words were uttered for the very first time...

"And on that day, four heroes joined forces"...

Both: And the Megasquad was born.

I'm impressed.

I'm not just the cranky lady who lives next door.

I've got layers.

Okay. All right, I'll let you take me, but there are going to be some rules.

Like what?

We enter the movie separately...

We don't sit next to each other, and we never

speak to each other until we get back home.

Far as I'm concerned, that can start right now.

I can't believe I have to go shopping for a Bug Prom.

Well, welcome to the wonderful world of dating an exterminator.

Tell me all about it. What can I expect?

I don't remember any of them.

I'd go into shut-down mode.

Shut-down mode? What's that?

Well, it's kind of a trance that I'd put myself into.

It's like I'm there, but I'm not there.

- Mmm. - Check it out.

Ahem.

[Inhales]

Mom, you okay?

Having a wonderful time.

Mom?

So nice to be here.

You're scaring me right now. Mom?

How long was I out?

When do you use that?

Only when I have to.

You know, Mother-in-law visits, jury duty, school talent shows. Not yours, though!

Woman over P.A.: Order #27 is ready. 27.

- Excuse me, is this seat... ah! - Ah!

Amy...

Duncan!

Karen...

I forgot your last name because I don't like you.

How long has it been?

Not long enough. How are things at the hospital?

Better since you left.

There's no chance you're coming back, right?

Oh, no no no. Not as long as you're there.

In fact, I'm crossing this Mall off my list too.

I'd say it was a pleasure seeing you, but clearly it wasn't.

Who was that?

My least-favorite person in the world... Karen.

Wait, that's the Queen of Darkness, Empress of Evil, Princess of Pain?

Honey, you remembered. That's so sweet.

Excuse me. Oh, excuse me.

Excuse me. Woo!

Oh!

What are you doing? We agreed not to sit together.

This is the last seat.

I told you you should have driven faster.

- No, you didn't. - I was thinking it.

I was honoring our no-talking policy.

And then they lived happily ever after.

Not a surprise ending, but at least we're done.

Okay...

Bedtime!

Good night, Toby.

Charlie, it's your bedtime too.

- No, it isn't. - Yes, it is.

Mama said I could stay up.

- No, she didn't. - Yes, she did.

Okay, we'll just... we'll see about this.

[Dialing]

Hi, Mommy, it's P.J. should Charlie go to bed?

Yeah, that's what I thought. Okay.

[Phone ringing]

What's that, Mommy? Why is my phone ringing while I'm talking to you?

That's a good question.

Uh, I'll tell you later. Bye, Mommy.

Announcer: The funniest comedy of the winter is coming this summer!

It's Whacky Train!

What? Whacky Train?

[Laughing]

Must be a sequel to Whacky Bus!

I love Whacky Bus!

From the makers of Whacky Bus!

Called it!

Oh! The conductor's pants fell down!

It's funny because you don't expect it!

See?

Hey, what's all this?

I'm gonna bake too.

In your Speedy Bake Oven?

Isn't that adorable? You wanna be just like your big brother?

Not really.

Now listen, Charlie.

I'm gonna be making a very complicated French dish.

And you're going to be making something in a plastic box with a light bulb.

So when we taste ours later, I don't want you to get sad if mine tastes better.

- Okay. - It's not a competition.

Okay, let's get you started.

Here we go.

That's good, that's good. You gotta mix it all, though.

I don't need help.

Okay.

I'll just get started on my dish then.

Okay, step one...

Separate the eggs.

Why, are they going to get into a fight with the baking powder?

[Growling]

Do you need help?

[Salsa music playing]

Say what you want about exterminators, but we know how to party.

What's on those tables? Are those...

Stuffed squirrels?

Sure are. We bring them to every party.

We just change their little hats.

Oh, hey, there's Murray!

Come on, honey, I want to go brag about my new bee fogger.

Oh, yeah, be right there!

Time for shut-down mode. See you in three hours.

Uh-oh, I'm still here.

Ha. Okay, no need to panic. I'll just try it again.

What? I don't understand. I'm st... I'm still here.

What's wrong?

I don't know. This has never happened before.

Bob: Amy, you gotta see this! Murray got bit by a spider.

Honey, come on, it's oozing!

Sweet Mama! I'm at the Bug Prom.

Your Mom's kind of, uh, different.

Just scratching the surface.

So do you see your Aunt?

No. She should be here soon, though.

- She's coming straight from work. - Where does she work?

Southwest Denver County Hospital.

No way! That's where my Mom used to work.

- She was a nurse. - So is my Aunt.

No way! You know what would be nuts?

Beau!

Aunt Karen.

That would be nuts.

[Music]

Ah, Aunt Karen, I'd like you to meet Teddy.

Oh, hello, Teddy. I have heard so much about you.

I've heard so much about you from so many different sources.

Okay?

Uh, where are your parents? I can't wait to meet them.

Uh, no, they're not here right now.

They had to attend to a little crisis.

Um, one of the squirrels lost his little hat.

I don't want to bore you with the details, but...

- You seem a little jumpy. - Oh, no no no. I'm always like this.

You just haven't met me, so you don't know.

I know! You need to hurry up and grab your raffle ticket now.

They're being sold by the guy dressed as a dung beetle.

At least, I hope it's a guy. Otherwise we're all in trouble.

- Are you sure you're okay? - Yeah. Run along now. Go go go!

Jumpy and pushy.

- What's up with you? - We have a situation here.

Your Aunt and my Mom hate each other.

- They do? - Yeah.

They used to work together and now they're arch enemies.

Hey, guys, how you doing?

How do you think I'm doing? I'm alert and aware of my surroundings.

[Laughing] We're having an awesome time. Hey, where's that Aunt of yours?

Oh, uh, not here yet.

Oh. All right, honey, let's go buy a raffle ticket.

No! You're going to have to do that later. There's a big line.

Everybody wants to take a picture with the dung beetle.

Saw that one coming.

What?

Man: If you don't come up with the code in the next 30 seconds...

The planet is doomed!

Man #2: You don't think I know that? Just let me think, man. Let me think.

Come on! The code is your daughter's birthday!

- All: Shh! - I read about that on the Internet.

Shh!

Man: There's only one thing that can save us now.

Megasquad, where are you?

[Cellphone ringing]

All: Aw!

Hey, we're trying to watch a movie here, people!

- Whose phone is that? - It's yours!

Oops! My bad.

Hello? Hi, Virginia. Oh, I can't talk now. I'm in a movie.

I'm in a movie! I can't talk!

Hey, tell your date to be quiet.

She's not my date.

Yeah, well, whoever she is, tell her to zip it.

You zip it.

Oh, Virginia, I gotta go! They're about to capture the President's daughter!

[All grumbling]

Unbelievable!

Will you please shut your big mouth, old lady?

Okay okay, that is it. She may be old, but nobody calls her a lady!

You got something to say to her, you can say it to me...

Right after I'm done talking to this usher. Yes?

Let's go. You're out of here.

Me? She's the one causing all the problems.

- Yeah, well, she's coming too. - What? What did I do?

Come on.

- Good riddance! - [All applauding]

The President is a clone.

[All grumbling]

It looks funny.

Well, looks can be deceiving.

They can also be disgusting.

Oh! Charlie, what am I going to do?

I have to bring something into class tomorrow.

- Try mine. - Okay.

Uh-huh.

Charlie, this is really good.

I can make you one.

That's very sweet, but that's not how it works.

See, I have to make it myself. A Chef is nothing without integrity.

- I won't tell. - Good enough.

I don't know how much longer I can stall my Aunt.

- She keeps asking about your parents. - Fine, okay.

Um, she wants to meet some parents?

Let's introduce her to some parents.

Hi, I'm Teddy. And you are?

Jerry and Phyllis Graber. How are ya?

Jerry, Phyllis, how would you guys like to make a little extra cash?

What would we have to do?

Who cares? We're living on an exterminator's salary.

We're in.

Karen? Hi.

I'd like you to meet my Mom and Dad, this is Bob and...

Annie.

- This is Karen. - Oh, so you're Teddy's parents?

Well, they're definitely not a couple of strangers.

[Laughing]

So nice to finally meet you.

Bob, I know what you do. Annie, how about you?

I just enjoy being Betty's Mom.

Betty? I thought your name was Teddy.

Betty is her middle name.

Yup, that's right. That's me.

I'm Teddy Betty.

Yeah, the missus and I argued long and hard about that one.

Boy, did we.

Said old Bobby Robby! Think you're picking up on our theme here.

Yeah, the rhyming names. Got it.

- I was wondering if... - Oh, you know what?

They still haven't gotten their picture with the dung beetle.

So we'll... we'll see you later.

It was very nice to meet you.

Jerry, good job. Phyllis...

Gotta say, I'm a little disappointed.

Hey, don't talk to your fake Mother like that.

Thank you for a terrible evening.

Gabe, wait. There's something I want to say.

Wouldn't you rather yell it at a screen?

Back there at the movie, you kind of stood up for me.

I guess I'd like to say I somewhat appreciate that.

Well, you're sort of welcome.

- I only ask one thing from you. - What's that?

That you never mention to anyone that I defended you.

I promise.

Not good enough. Swear by the Mega Code.

I do swear with honor...

Integrity, fidelity...

Both: Megasquad forever! Hoo-rah!

- Let's not mention that part either. - Hmm.

Okay, fun lovers, it's time for the last dance.

So come on, everybody, let's get out on the dance floor and shake your thorax!

For you non-pros, that is your booty!

[Guitar strumming]

Honey?

Uh-oh.

Come on, we've got to keep them apart.

Oh, ha ha! May I cut in?

- Um, no thanks. - Oh, you dance with your Dad.

Ha ha!

Hey!

Why is Teddy dancing with Jerry Graber?

- You! - You!

[Guitar strumming]

Ha hey!

Ha ha! Ha ha ha!

[Grunting]

Ho!

Yeah? [Grunting]

- Dad, do something. - No no no no no.

I got two rules when it comes to your Mom...

Never try and get the last word,

and never interrupt her in the middle of a dance-off.

[Both grunting]

[Applause]

Charlie, good news.

I got an A on my cake.

- Yay! - [Laughs]

Chef said it was light, tasty, and displayed a childlike simplicity.

You're welcome.

I need you to clear your schedule this weekend.

We're making Beef Wellington.

I'm going to need a bigger light bulb.

Hey, Charlie.

Well, I made it through my first Bug Prom.

And today, I finally told Mom that Karen is Beau's Aunt.

And she took it surprisingly well.

Having a wonderful time.

Because she rediscovered shut-down mode.

Honey, honey, great news!

We won the raffle. We're going on a Bug Cruise!

So nice to be here.

Another day in paradise. Good luck, Charlie.

[Music]

Man: There's one thing you didn't count on, Professor Ice.

And that's the Human Tornado!

That tornado's full of water. He's going to freeze you.

[Blasting sound]

- Told ya! - [All grumbling]

Would you keep it down? You're driving everybody crazy.

Bob: Yeah, especially me.

Do you mind? I'm trying to save the world here.

I paid my 12 bucks. I'll talk if I want to.

Oh, we'll see about that.

I warned you.

[Zapping sound]

Thank you, thank you.

Excuse me? Uh, Tornado?

Not to be a stickler, but it has not been established that you can zap people.

Does this establish it?

[Zapping sound]

Anyone else care to join the logic police?

You?

You?

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