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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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Good morning, mom.
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Oh. Gabe, honey. We need to talk.
4
00:00:15,328 --> 00:00:19,824
Mom, I didn't do it!
That Principal's out to get me.
5
00:00:19,825 --> 00:00:21,299
It's not about the Principal.
6
00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:24,436
Mom, I didn't do it!
That teacher is out to get me.
7
00:00:24,437 --> 00:00:27,636
Gabe! You're not in trouble.
8
00:00:27,637 --> 00:00:31,276
Then why do we need to talk?
9
00:00:31,277 --> 00:00:33,023
Well, it's about your dad.
10
00:00:33,024 --> 00:00:38,198
Now you're aware that he
occasionally snores, right?
11
00:00:38,199 --> 00:00:42,791
Mom, the people across
the street are aware.
12
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:45,852
Car alarms are aware.
13
00:00:45,898 --> 00:00:48,598
Kansas is aware.
14
00:00:49,395 --> 00:00:55,295
Well, obviously, I'm used to his snoring
because I grew up next to train tracks.
15
00:00:55,368 --> 00:00:57,415
But your father's been
waking Toby up and I'm
16
00:00:57,416 --> 00:01:00,505
trying to get the baby to
sleep through the night.
17
00:01:00,506 --> 00:01:02,340
How does this involve me?
18
00:01:02,341 --> 00:01:06,278
We're going to have to temporarily
change our sleeping arrangements.
19
00:01:06,279 --> 00:01:08,506
Man, you're putting Toby in with me?
20
00:01:08,507 --> 00:01:10,800
Not exactly.
21
00:01:10,801 --> 00:01:13,201
Hey, roomie!
22
00:01:14,353 --> 00:01:17,184
( Rock music playing )
23
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Today's all burnt toast
running late and dad jokes.
24
00:01:20,322 --> 00:01:23,470
"Has anybody seen my left shoe?"
25
00:01:23,471 --> 00:01:26,995
I close my eyes, take a bite
grab a ride, laugh out loud.
26
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There it is up on the roof.
27
00:01:30,332 --> 00:01:33,514
I've been there, I survived.
28
00:01:33,515 --> 00:01:36,437
So just take my advice.
29
00:01:36,438 --> 00:01:40,207
Hang in there, baby
things are crazy.
30
00:01:40,208 --> 00:01:43,129
But I know your future's bright.
31
00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:46,754
Hang in there, baby,
there's no maybe.
32
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Everything turns out all right.
33
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Sure life is up and down.
34
00:01:51,817 --> 00:01:55,356
But trust me, it comes back around.
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You're gonna love who
you turn out to be.
36
00:02:00,755 --> 00:02:03,755
Hang in there, baby.
37
00:02:07,890 --> 00:02:10,467
( Doorbell rings )
38
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( Slight gasp )
39
00:02:11,533 --> 00:02:15,348
There he is. Mister Victor
Deleseur, ladies and gentlemen.
40
00:02:15,349 --> 00:02:17,499
The smartest guy at South High.
41
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:20,651
What do you want, Teddy?
42
00:02:20,652 --> 00:02:23,129
What? Do I always have to want something?
43
00:02:23,130 --> 00:02:26,575
Can't I just invite you over
as a friend to enjoy some...
44
00:02:26,576 --> 00:02:29,119
Okay, so here it is.
45
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:33,464
Um, I'm taking the SAT this weekend
and I really want to ace it.
46
00:02:33,465 --> 00:02:37,301
And I you my help, since you
know I scored a perfect 2400.
47
00:02:37,302 --> 00:02:42,506
They actually did a feature story
on me in "overachievers monthly".
48
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Yeah yeah, I know.
I cut it out and put it in my scrapbook.
49
00:02:46,711 --> 00:02:49,411
- Really?!
- No.
50
00:02:50,615 --> 00:02:52,549
So, what do you say? Will you help me?
51
00:02:52,550 --> 00:02:54,086
Under one condition...
52
00:02:54,087 --> 00:02:59,356
If I tutor you, you have to agree to
do whatever I say no matter what.
53
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Fine.
54
00:03:00,425 --> 00:03:02,909
Now just tell me what you want in return.
55
00:03:02,910 --> 00:03:05,462
Do I always have to want something?
56
00:03:05,463 --> 00:03:07,464
Can't I just do it out of the goodness...
57
00:03:07,465 --> 00:03:10,262
Okay, here it is.
58
00:03:10,263 --> 00:03:12,818
I want you to come to the
park with me this Saturday.
59
00:03:12,819 --> 00:03:14,899
Wait. You mean like a date?
60
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:16,759
I would never ask you out.
61
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,892
See, you have a boyfriend, I have a
girlfriend and most importantly...
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00:03:19,893 --> 00:03:23,514
I have certain intellectual standards.
63
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Insulted, yet relieved.
64
00:03:26,089 --> 00:03:28,131
So what are we gonna do at the park?
65
00:03:28,132 --> 00:03:30,991
I have a very important chess
match and I'd like you to watch.
66
00:03:30,992 --> 00:03:32,456
- That's it?
- That's it.
67
00:03:32,457 --> 00:03:34,458
There's gotta be some sort of catch.
68
00:03:34,459 --> 00:03:36,614
No catch. Just chess.
69
00:03:36,615 --> 00:03:38,662
Is chess a euphemism for something?
70
00:03:38,663 --> 00:03:44,123
Like some sort of weird comic
book role-playing thing?
71
00:03:45,168 --> 00:03:46,337
No.
72
00:03:46,338 --> 00:03:47,988
Okay. Fine.
73
00:03:47,989 --> 00:03:53,836
If you tutor me, I'll come to the
park and I'll watch you play "chess".
74
00:03:53,837 --> 00:03:55,612
No, not "chess".
75
00:03:55,613 --> 00:03:57,303
Just chess.
76
00:03:57,304 --> 00:04:00,124
You mean, "chess".
77
00:04:00,418 --> 00:04:02,419
No! Not "chess".
78
00:04:02,420 --> 00:04:03,654
Just chess!
79
00:04:03,655 --> 00:04:08,815
This may be the toughest
tutoring I've ever done.
80
00:04:11,296 --> 00:04:15,266
( Baby-talk ) Oh, that is so yummy.
Isn't it good?
81
00:04:15,267 --> 00:04:18,669
Charlie, have you ever seen
a cuter baby in your life?
82
00:04:18,670 --> 00:04:20,304
- Yes.
- Who?
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Me.
84
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:27,918
You are your mother's daughter.
85
00:04:27,931 --> 00:04:29,613
Hi, mom. Hi, Charlie.
86
00:04:29,614 --> 00:04:31,121
PJ, I need your help.
87
00:04:31,122 --> 00:04:34,187
Sure, mom. What can I do you for?
88
00:04:34,188 --> 00:04:38,422
It's a fun little way of saying,
"what can I do for you?"
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Proceed.
90
00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:42,493
Okay well, I really need to
put Toby down for a nap.
91
00:04:42,494 --> 00:04:44,963
But Charlie wants me to read to her.
Can you do it?
92
00:04:44,964 --> 00:04:49,925
Oh, yeah. Sure. I got time for
a quick little... whoa! Hello.
93
00:04:49,926 --> 00:04:53,010
- Charlie wants this book?
- Would you rather change Toby's diaper?
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00:04:53,011 --> 00:04:55,406
Come on, buddy.
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"The Littlest Unicorn".
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00:04:58,610 --> 00:05:00,544
"By Emily Prettyblossom".
97
00:05:00,545 --> 00:05:03,381
- Yay.
- Okay. Chapter one.
98
00:05:03,382 --> 00:05:07,347
"Some people say that unicorns
aren't real, but they are.
99
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:11,422
They hail from a magical place
called Butterflylandia".
100
00:05:11,423 --> 00:05:13,583
Oh, boy.
101
00:05:14,259 --> 00:05:16,527
Keep going.
102
00:05:16,528 --> 00:05:20,531
"This is the story of one of those
unicorns, the littlest one of all".
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"Her name was Junie.
Her real name, that is".
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00:05:23,535 --> 00:05:26,369
"Her mean brothers called
her "Junie the Puny Uni".
105
00:05:26,370 --> 00:05:28,539
- That's not very nice.
- No, it isn't.
106
00:05:28,540 --> 00:05:30,231
Shh.
107
00:05:30,232 --> 00:05:33,444
"One day, Junie and her family
went to the meadow for a picnic".
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00:05:33,445 --> 00:05:39,283
"The meadow was right next to the dark
forest, a place Junie was forbidden to go".
109
00:05:39,284 --> 00:05:40,717
"But her curiosity got the better of her".
110
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- Uh-oh.
- I'm thirsty.
111
00:05:43,113 --> 00:05:46,953
Suck it up. Junie's in trouble.
112
00:05:52,697 --> 00:05:55,269
So, what's the answer?
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( Sighing ) Uh...
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- "C"?
- No no no, it's "B"!
115
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:02,639
Well, I was close.
116
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:07,140
Teddy, this is the SAT's, not horseshoes!
117
00:06:07,736 --> 00:06:10,334
You know what?
We've been going at this for a while.
118
00:06:10,335 --> 00:06:11,829
Maybe we should stop.
119
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:15,552
Stop? But the test is Saturday.
You can't stop now.
120
00:06:15,553 --> 00:06:17,590
Let's move on to math.
121
00:06:17,591 --> 00:06:19,027
- In a parallelogram...
- Yeah, Victor.
122
00:06:19,028 --> 00:06:22,643
I don't think I can study anymore.
I feel like my brain is full.
123
00:06:22,644 --> 00:06:25,367
That's the great thing about
brains, they never get full.
124
00:06:25,368 --> 00:06:26,936
Even smaller ones like yours.
125
00:06:26,937 --> 00:06:28,857
Okay.
126
00:06:29,758 --> 00:06:33,010
I'll have you know, my friends
consider me very smart.
127
00:06:33,011 --> 00:06:35,891
You mean like Ivy?
128
00:06:36,989 --> 00:06:39,728
Well, and other friends.
129
00:06:39,729 --> 00:06:42,849
You mean like Spencer?
130
00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:48,040
Let's get back to work.
131
00:06:52,494 --> 00:06:56,408
"And as the sun set on the dark
forest, Junie realized she would
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00:06:56,409 --> 00:06:59,654
have to survive the night alone".
133
00:06:59,655 --> 00:07:01,198
Are you scared?
134
00:07:01,199 --> 00:07:02,913
No.
135
00:07:02,914 --> 00:07:06,514
( Voice trembling ) Me either.
136
00:07:06,571 --> 00:07:08,539
Okay, bedtime.
137
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:11,585
Five more minutes.
We wanna finish this chapter.
138
00:07:11,586 --> 00:07:14,233
I'm sorry, honey.
But Charlie needs to go to bed.
139
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,117
That's the kind of parenting
that drove Junie away
140
00:07:16,118 --> 00:07:20,618
from the green pastures of Butterflylandia.
141
00:07:20,919 --> 00:07:26,819
Okay. Well, it's bedtime and I'm
from the land of "I-don't-care-ia".
142
00:07:27,292 --> 00:07:28,492
Come on, Charlie.
143
00:07:28,493 --> 00:07:30,327
And don't worry.
I won't read ahead without you.
144
00:07:30,328 --> 00:07:31,429
Promise?
145
00:07:31,430 --> 00:07:33,397
Promise. Good night.
146
00:07:33,398 --> 00:07:35,738
Good night.
147
00:07:45,277 --> 00:07:48,157
I said good night.
148
00:07:49,414 --> 00:07:52,054
( Groaning ) Oh.
149
00:07:56,621 --> 00:07:58,541
Gabe.
150
00:07:58,656 --> 00:08:00,936
Yeah, dad?
151
00:08:01,072 --> 00:08:04,312
- You awake?
- No, dad.
152
00:08:06,135 --> 00:08:07,826
You wanna talk?
153
00:08:07,827 --> 00:08:09,987
No, dad.
154
00:08:12,471 --> 00:08:15,539
Your mom usually lets me
talk about my day a little.
155
00:08:15,540 --> 00:08:18,840
It helps me fall asleep.
156
00:08:19,677 --> 00:08:22,346
( Sighing ) Okay, dad.
157
00:08:22,347 --> 00:08:24,606
How was your day?
158
00:08:24,607 --> 00:08:27,852
Well, I was over at Mrs. Fisher's today...
159
00:08:27,853 --> 00:08:29,953
Workin'.
160
00:08:30,722 --> 00:08:32,055
( Sighs )
161
00:08:32,056 --> 00:08:34,874
Had to knock down so many spiderwebs.
162
00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:37,348
She finally came up to me and she
said, "Bob, did you miss a week?"
163
00:08:37,349 --> 00:08:42,269
I said, "no, you just
have a lot of spiders".
164
00:08:45,028 --> 00:08:47,368
Good night.
165
00:08:50,575 --> 00:08:51,777
Gabe?
166
00:08:51,778 --> 00:08:54,058
( Exhales )
167
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:57,381
Dad, if you can't sleep,
just watch some TV.
168
00:08:57,382 --> 00:09:00,202
But it's bedtime.
169
00:09:00,652 --> 00:09:02,286
Is it?
170
00:09:02,287 --> 00:09:03,355
( TV turns on )
171
00:09:03,356 --> 00:09:06,056
Whoa! Whoa whoa!
172
00:09:06,258 --> 00:09:09,018
TV after bedtime?
173
00:09:09,099 --> 00:09:10,537
How often you do this?
174
00:09:10,538 --> 00:09:11,834
Um...
175
00:09:11,835 --> 00:09:16,395
This is, uh... this is my first time, dad.
176
00:09:18,953 --> 00:09:23,066
Now, if the semicircle arc "AB"
has the length six times PI.
177
00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:28,454
And the circumference of the circle with
the diameter "BC" is eight times PI...
178
00:09:28,455 --> 00:09:31,931
What is the area of the shaded region?!
179
00:09:31,932 --> 00:09:33,792
Um...
180
00:09:33,881 --> 00:09:35,095
"B".
181
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:37,676
- Wrong!
- Oh!
182
00:09:37,974 --> 00:09:39,255
What are you doing?!
183
00:09:39,256 --> 00:09:41,782
I'm giving you a punishment
to train your brain.
184
00:09:41,783 --> 00:09:44,078
Victor, I'm not...
185
00:09:44,079 --> 00:09:46,119
A cat.
186
00:09:47,532 --> 00:09:49,077
Well, of course not.
187
00:09:49,078 --> 00:09:53,103
A cat could have solved that equation.
188
00:09:53,104 --> 00:09:55,272
It's midnight. We're done working.
189
00:09:55,273 --> 00:09:57,441
We're done? Just because...
190
00:09:57,442 --> 00:09:58,542
( Mocking ) "It's midnight".
191
00:09:58,543 --> 00:10:01,113
( Fake sobbing )
192
00:10:01,114 --> 00:10:03,036
Yes, that is what I said.
193
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:06,417
Just without the hurtful attitude.
194
00:10:06,418 --> 00:10:08,485
Am I wasting my time here?
195
00:10:08,486 --> 00:10:10,421
Do you want this?!
I don't think you want this!
196
00:10:10,422 --> 00:10:12,723
I don't want this.
197
00:10:12,724 --> 00:10:14,558
Sit down and open that workbook.
198
00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:16,739
That's it. We're done. You're fired.
199
00:10:16,740 --> 00:10:17,938
- Fired?
- Yup.
200
00:10:17,939 --> 00:10:20,888
Terminated, dismissed, shown the door.
201
00:10:20,889 --> 00:10:23,667
Ooh, we're working with synonyms.
202
00:10:23,668 --> 00:10:26,258
Yes, we are. Now get out!
203
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,471
Exit!
204
00:10:27,472 --> 00:10:29,452
Scram!
205
00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:38,649
Man, watching infomercials.
206
00:10:38,650 --> 00:10:41,719
I've got a kernel stuck in my tooth.
207
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,864
Doesn't get any better than this.
208
00:10:44,865 --> 00:10:47,424
Shh shh shh shh.
209
00:10:47,425 --> 00:10:50,665
Footsteps! Shut it down!
210
00:10:59,337 --> 00:11:01,705
Oh, sure. In here you don't snore.
211
00:11:01,706 --> 00:11:03,986
( Snoring )
212
00:11:05,610 --> 00:11:07,344
There it is.
213
00:11:07,345 --> 00:11:09,925
3:10 to Yuma.
214
00:11:15,287 --> 00:11:18,107
( Air horn blows )
215
00:11:19,269 --> 00:11:21,909
Rise and shine.
216
00:11:22,661 --> 00:11:24,965
Victor, I fired you.
217
00:11:24,966 --> 00:11:27,398
Wrong. The correct answer is "C"...
218
00:11:27,399 --> 00:11:29,333
I can't be fired.
219
00:11:29,334 --> 00:11:32,154
( Air horn blows )
220
00:11:43,965 --> 00:11:45,199
Victor.
221
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,331
It's 6:00 in the morning.
222
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,642
What in the world are you doing here?
223
00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:52,352
Where else would I be?
224
00:11:52,353 --> 00:11:55,441
Gee, I don't know. Maybe at home, asleep.
225
00:11:55,442 --> 00:11:59,968
Clutching some kind of a
Sci-Fi action figure.
226
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,544
Teddy, you agreed to do whatever I said.
227
00:12:02,545 --> 00:12:03,872
No matter what.
228
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:06,942
Welcome to "no matter what"!
229
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,446
Are you crazy?
230
00:12:08,447 --> 00:12:10,218
( Chuckles ) Crazy about learnin'.
231
00:12:10,219 --> 00:12:13,915
And that's the only time you'll
ever hear me drop a "g".
232
00:12:13,916 --> 00:12:16,918
Listen closely because
I'm about to drop a "g".
233
00:12:16,919 --> 00:12:19,139
"O" away!
234
00:12:20,432 --> 00:12:21,728
This is good. This is good.
235
00:12:21,729 --> 00:12:26,104
You're frustrated, you're angry,
you're right on schedule.
236
00:12:26,105 --> 00:12:27,320
Excuse me?
237
00:12:27,321 --> 00:12:29,459
This happens whenever I'm
working with someone.
238
00:12:29,460 --> 00:12:32,026
There always comes a moment
when they want to quit.
239
00:12:32,027 --> 00:12:34,903
Actually, your breaking point
came later than usual.
240
00:12:34,904 --> 00:12:39,336
Which means that you're one of
my most promising students.
241
00:12:39,337 --> 00:12:41,377
Really?
242
00:12:42,612 --> 00:12:43,945
Oh, yes.
243
00:12:43,946 --> 00:12:45,947
I am very impressed.
244
00:12:45,948 --> 00:12:47,383
You're a star, Teddy.
245
00:12:47,384 --> 00:12:48,917
Oh. ( Laughs )
246
00:12:48,918 --> 00:12:52,278
I don't know about star.
247
00:12:53,531 --> 00:12:55,422
Is my star ready to get to work now?
248
00:12:55,423 --> 00:12:59,323
( Bashfully ) Would you stop that?
249
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:04,138
I'm gonna get dressed. I'll be right back.
250
00:13:04,139 --> 00:13:06,899
Star. ( Chuckles )
251
00:13:14,777 --> 00:13:17,597
- Hey, mom.
- Hi.
252
00:13:21,918 --> 00:13:24,738
Help me out here.
253
00:13:24,954 --> 00:13:27,354
I'm Mezrab.
254
00:13:29,759 --> 00:13:33,210
Help me out a little more.
255
00:13:33,211 --> 00:13:37,592
I'm Mezrab Magicpenny, the legendary
half-wizard, half-unicorn,
256
00:13:37,593 --> 00:13:40,487
who Junie meets in the dark forest.
257
00:13:40,488 --> 00:13:43,004
I thought this would help
make the story come alive.
258
00:13:43,005 --> 00:13:44,961
For Charlie?
259
00:13:44,962 --> 00:13:47,722
Yeah, okay. Yeah.
260
00:13:48,547 --> 00:13:51,387
Honey, I'm sorry. Charlie's still sleeping.
261
00:13:51,388 --> 00:13:52,714
Well, should I wake her up?
262
00:13:52,715 --> 00:13:54,159
Yeah, you know what?
263
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,066
Let's wake up Toby too. Make it a party.
264
00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:59,285
- Okay!
- No! Get back in here!
265
00:13:59,286 --> 00:14:00,889
I'm kidding.
266
00:14:00,890 --> 00:14:03,390
You can't read to Charlie this morning.
She's got preschool.
267
00:14:03,391 --> 00:14:05,551
Aw, man.
268
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,274
Well, can I at least have some breakfast?
269
00:14:08,275 --> 00:14:09,697
Sure.
270
00:14:09,698 --> 00:14:12,218
Have a bagel.
271
00:14:15,571 --> 00:14:18,691
What, no cream cheese?
272
00:14:22,812 --> 00:14:24,813
( Chanting ) If you don't
know then leave it blank.
273
00:14:24,814 --> 00:14:28,031
When you score high there's me to thank!
274
00:14:28,032 --> 00:14:30,124
( Chanting ) Geometry is really a breeze.
275
00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:32,854
Right triangles are 90 degrees.
276
00:14:32,855 --> 00:14:34,890
Sound off! One, two!
277
00:14:34,891 --> 00:14:37,351
PI is 3.14.
278
00:14:37,894 --> 00:14:39,861
Come on now, let's hear that voice.
279
00:14:39,862 --> 00:14:41,897
Never guess on multiple choice.
280
00:14:41,898 --> 00:14:43,799
Go ahead and do one more!
281
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,800
Eight squared is 64!
282
00:14:47,757 --> 00:14:49,726
Next time we should take a car.
283
00:14:49,727 --> 00:14:54,587
( Panting ) I'm not used
to running this far.
284
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:58,037
( Rock music playing )
285
00:15:29,645 --> 00:15:32,225
( Music stops )
286
00:15:39,099 --> 00:15:40,329
What time is it?
287
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,283
It's 1:00 in the morning.
288
00:15:42,284 --> 00:15:44,826
Also known as story time.
289
00:15:44,827 --> 00:15:46,594
Okay, where were we?
290
00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:49,411
Oh, yeah. Junie was at the Cave of Shadows.
291
00:15:49,412 --> 00:15:53,869
"As Junie entered the cave, she was
scared, but also very curious".
292
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,871
"She crept ahead cautiously".
293
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,434
I'm tired.
294
00:15:57,435 --> 00:16:01,609
Yeah, well, so was Junie.
But she keeps going.
295
00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:04,202
All-night bowling... dad, you're an animal!
296
00:16:04,203 --> 00:16:05,813
- PJ?!
- Dad?
297
00:16:05,814 --> 00:16:08,347
- Where are you going?
- Uh, nowhere.
298
00:16:08,348 --> 00:16:10,852
- Why is Charlie up?
- No reason.
299
00:16:10,853 --> 00:16:13,922
- Why is Gabe up?
- No reason.
300
00:16:13,923 --> 00:16:15,523
What's with the book?
301
00:16:15,524 --> 00:16:18,927
What's with the bowling ball?
302
00:16:18,928 --> 00:16:20,714
None of this ever happened.
303
00:16:20,715 --> 00:16:23,068
None of what ever happened?
304
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:24,900
Let's go, dad.
He can keep this up all night.
305
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:28,141
Keep what up all night?
306
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:35,892
"Suddenly two bright green eyes opened
wide and lit up the rocky den".
307
00:16:35,893 --> 00:16:40,430
"And Junie stood face-to-face with
a giant fire-breathing dragon!
308
00:16:40,431 --> 00:16:42,615
"He opened his mouth and roared"...
309
00:16:42,616 --> 00:16:44,476
PJ?!
310
00:16:45,044 --> 00:16:46,705
Mom!
311
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,138
What are you doing?
312
00:16:48,139 --> 00:16:51,079
What are you doing?
313
00:16:51,756 --> 00:16:53,929
That only works with your dad.
314
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:55,683
What's going on here?
315
00:16:55,684 --> 00:16:58,833
It was Charlie's idea.
She wanted to finish the book.
316
00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:02,221
Oh, okay. So Charlie got up
in the middle of the night,
317
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:07,101
called you at your apartment and told
you to come over for a book sesh?
318
00:17:07,102 --> 00:17:09,742
She's a scamp.
319
00:17:10,528 --> 00:17:14,308
- Come on, Charlie.
- Ah, okay.
320
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,684
Good night, PJ.
321
00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:18,619
Well, what's she doing tomorrow?
322
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,855
- Preschool.
- Again?
323
00:17:20,856 --> 00:17:23,976
That's every day now?
324
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,164
- Morning, Gabe.
- I want him out.
325
00:17:33,165 --> 00:17:34,936
- Who?
- Dad.
326
00:17:34,937 --> 00:17:38,229
I haven't slept a wink in 48 hours.
327
00:17:38,230 --> 00:17:41,776
Except a quick little
nap during math class.
328
00:17:41,777 --> 00:17:44,199
Is this about his snoring?
329
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,949
No! I gave him a taste of
freedom and he went crazy.
330
00:17:47,950 --> 00:17:49,323
Yeah.
331
00:17:49,324 --> 00:17:51,265
Dad does better with rules.
332
00:17:51,266 --> 00:17:54,506
Lots and lots of rules.
333
00:17:54,790 --> 00:17:57,546
I can't do it anymore.
You gotta take him back. Tonight.
334
00:17:57,547 --> 00:17:59,622
Calm down, okay?
335
00:17:59,623 --> 00:18:01,963
This is your dad we're talking about.
336
00:18:01,964 --> 00:18:04,174
Let's show a little respect.
337
00:18:04,175 --> 00:18:07,115
We'll flip a coin.
338
00:18:07,665 --> 00:18:10,928
- Heads, you're stuck with him.
- Tails, he's my problem.
339
00:18:10,929 --> 00:18:12,074
Deal.
340
00:18:12,075 --> 00:18:14,031
Please be tails. Please be tails.
Please be tails.
341
00:18:14,032 --> 00:18:16,188
Hey. Whatcha doing?
342
00:18:16,189 --> 00:18:19,009
Fighting over you.
343
00:18:19,291 --> 00:18:21,053
So who won?
344
00:18:21,054 --> 00:18:22,486
Aw! Gabe!
345
00:18:22,487 --> 00:18:24,347
Yes!
346
00:18:26,513 --> 00:18:28,973
Welcome back.
347
00:18:33,629 --> 00:18:36,389
( Doorbell rings )
348
00:18:37,518 --> 00:18:38,900
- Hi.
- So?
349
00:18:38,901 --> 00:18:40,193
How'd the test go?
350
00:18:40,194 --> 00:18:46,094
Well... of course I won't know for a
while, but I think I did really well.
351
00:18:46,214 --> 00:18:47,842
Now, in accordance with our agreement,
352
00:18:47,843 --> 00:18:49,487
you need to accompany me to my chess match.
353
00:18:49,488 --> 00:18:53,208
Right right, the "chess match".
354
00:18:53,952 --> 00:18:56,843
- Teddy, it's just a chess match.
- Sure.
355
00:18:56,844 --> 00:19:02,737
Okay. Well, what do I have to wear?
A bird suit or a robot outfit?
356
00:19:02,738 --> 00:19:07,298
Actually, what you have on now is perfect.
357
00:19:11,934 --> 00:19:13,734
Come on, Andrew. It's your move.
358
00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:15,511
It is?
359
00:19:15,512 --> 00:19:17,792
Oh, right.
360
00:19:25,282 --> 00:19:27,267
Checkmate.
361
00:19:27,268 --> 00:19:29,167
What?
362
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,252
No! It can't be!
363
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:34,193
Curse you, Deleseur!
364
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:42,656
We're done here. Thank you, Teddy.
365
00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:46,112
Nerd bait.
366
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:49,542
Not my finest hour.
367
00:19:55,095 --> 00:19:57,844
Well, Charlie. I got my SAT results back,
368
00:19:57,845 --> 00:20:00,848
and let's just say I did pretty well.
369
00:20:00,849 --> 00:20:04,869
I'm trying not to be supercilious.
370
00:20:04,987 --> 00:20:06,988
Did I use that right?
371
00:20:06,989 --> 00:20:09,588
Who cares? Test's over.
372
00:20:09,589 --> 00:20:13,507
Hey, check it out. The sequel to "The
Littlest Unicorn" just came out.
373
00:20:13,508 --> 00:20:16,161
"Revenge of The Littlest Unicorn".
374
00:20:16,162 --> 00:20:17,370
Have you seen Charlie?
375
00:20:17,371 --> 00:20:22,527
Uh, yeah. And she told me to
tell you that she's not home.
376
00:20:22,528 --> 00:20:26,974
Man! Well, who am I
supposed to read this to?
377
00:20:26,975 --> 00:20:29,375
Hello, Toby!
378
00:20:29,711 --> 00:20:31,879
Okay, chapter one.
379
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,137
"Junie had an axe to grind"...
380
00:20:34,138 --> 00:20:35,224
Well.
381
00:20:35,225 --> 00:20:38,886
Sounds like there's gonna be a
beat down in Butterflylandia.
382
00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:43,387
Better wish Junie some good luck, Charlie.
383
00:20:46,255 --> 00:20:48,756
Charlie, are you ready
to go to the park now?
384
00:20:48,757 --> 00:20:49,784
No!
385
00:20:49,785 --> 00:20:51,478
( Groans )
386
00:20:51,479 --> 00:20:55,490
PJ, thanks to that stupid book you read
her Charlie's afraid to go outside.
387
00:20:55,491 --> 00:20:57,629
She thinks there's a dragon out there.
388
00:20:57,630 --> 00:20:59,850
There is.
389
00:21:01,156 --> 00:21:02,957
Will you please explain to your sister the
390
00:21:02,958 --> 00:21:04,567
difference between what's
real and what's not?
391
00:21:04,568 --> 00:21:07,061
Okay, Charlie. It's very simple.
392
00:21:07,062 --> 00:21:11,082
Unicorns are real, dragons are not.
393
00:21:11,610 --> 00:21:13,441
Okay. Are you ready to go now?
394
00:21:13,442 --> 00:21:14,869
No.
395
00:21:14,870 --> 00:21:17,859
Okay, mom. I got this.
Charlie, there is no dragon out there.
396
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:20,920
Look, I'll show you.
397
00:21:21,464 --> 00:21:23,744
( Roaring )
398
00:21:30,092 --> 00:21:32,312
( Coughs )
399
00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:34,577
Told you.
400
00:21:34,578 --> 00:21:40,478
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