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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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Uh-oh! Dad's here.
3
00:00:11,116 --> 00:00:14,596
Donuts! Run for your lives!
4
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Up top.
5
00:00:17,863 --> 00:00:20,698
It's not funny anymore.
Dad's lost a bunch of weight.
6
00:00:20,699 --> 00:00:25,536
Thanks a lot, dad. You got skinny
and killed all my best material.
7
00:00:25,537 --> 00:00:27,439
Actually, I've lost so much weight,
8
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,868
I gotta start buying my clothes
in a regular store now.
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00:00:29,869 --> 00:00:33,769
No more "Benny's Huge and Bald"?
10
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"Lenny's Big and Tall".
11
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But I love Lenny's.
12
00:00:39,549 --> 00:00:43,953
It's the only store with
steel-reinforced dressing rooms.
13
00:00:43,954 --> 00:00:48,101
The only store where the freight
entrance is also the main entrance.
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( Laughing )
15
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Okay, wait wait. Okay, I got one.
16
00:00:50,827 --> 00:00:56,665
It's the only store where the large
sizes are big and the small ones...
17
00:00:56,666 --> 00:00:58,766
Aren't.
18
00:01:00,542 --> 00:01:03,092
Yeah, I guess I don't got one.
19
00:01:03,093 --> 00:01:05,306
All right. I'm off to the Mall.
20
00:01:05,307 --> 00:01:07,623
Wow. Shopping without shame.
21
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This is gonna be different.
22
00:01:10,506 --> 00:01:12,915
Hey, dad. Just don't get a hairpiece.
23
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I mean, you gotta leave me something.
24
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,788
Where the big people are so fat...
25
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- P.J., we're done.
- Okay.
26
00:01:21,691 --> 00:01:24,415
( Rock music playing )
27
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Today's all burnt toast
running late and dad jokes.
28
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"Has anybody seen my left shoe?"
29
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I close my eyes, take a bite
grab a ride, laugh out loud.
30
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There it is up on the roof.
31
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I've been there, I survived.
32
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So just take my advice.
33
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Hang in there, baby
things are crazy.
34
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But I know your future's bright.
35
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:53,985
Hang in there, baby,
there's no maybe.
36
00:01:53,986 --> 00:01:56,514
Everything turns out all right.
37
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Sure life is up and down.
38
00:01:59,048 --> 00:02:02,587
But trust me, it comes back around.
39
00:02:02,588 --> 00:02:07,268
You're gonna love who
you turn out to be.
40
00:02:07,986 --> 00:02:10,986
Hang in there, baby.
41
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( Teddy shrieks )
42
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Great news! Remember that play I wrote?
43
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:21,872
- "The dancing Princess"?
- Yeah.
44
00:02:21,873 --> 00:02:24,942
My theater group is doing the
production and Ivy's directing.
45
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And I'm starring?
46
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- No.
- Oh.
47
00:02:29,701 --> 00:02:31,549
Then what's the great news?
48
00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:35,853
Well, you're not in this one,
mom, but guess who is.
49
00:02:35,854 --> 00:02:36,954
Charlie!
50
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I'm gonna be a Princess.
51
00:02:40,307 --> 00:02:41,804
Good for you.
52
00:02:41,805 --> 00:02:47,685
Hope show business doesn't break
your heart as it did mine.
53
00:02:47,878 --> 00:02:49,998
Hey, Charlie.
Why is that bear still on the floor?
54
00:02:49,999 --> 00:02:53,916
I asked you to pick that up an hour ago.
55
00:02:53,917 --> 00:02:56,652
Hey, Princess. I'm not gonna ask you again.
56
00:02:56,653 --> 00:02:58,438
Pick up the bear now.
57
00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,239
No.
58
00:03:01,471 --> 00:03:03,058
She's been like this all day.
59
00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:04,827
Mom. If I may...
60
00:03:04,828 --> 00:03:06,696
Charlie, sweetie.
61
00:03:06,697 --> 00:03:09,866
Could you pick up that bear
for your big sister, please?
62
00:03:09,867 --> 00:03:11,787
Okay.
63
00:03:19,743 --> 00:03:23,310
If you need her to do anything
else, just let me know.
64
00:03:23,311 --> 00:03:24,324
( Scoffs )
65
00:03:24,325 --> 00:03:26,514
She's three years old. You got lucky.
66
00:03:26,515 --> 00:03:28,020
No no. It's not luck.
67
00:03:28,021 --> 00:03:31,629
Charlie and I have a special sister bond.
68
00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:34,799
I guess you could call me
"The Charlie Whisperer".
69
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:35,854
( Weak chuckle )
70
00:03:35,855 --> 00:03:37,495
"The Charlie Whisperer".
71
00:03:37,496 --> 00:03:43,396
Okay. Well, if you're so good, why don't
you get her to come out of your room?
72
00:03:48,306 --> 00:03:51,966
I did that one with my mind.
73
00:03:59,334 --> 00:04:00,758
What you working on?
74
00:04:00,759 --> 00:04:02,231
Oh, it's for English.
75
00:04:02,232 --> 00:04:07,127
I have to write a report
about an old person.
76
00:04:07,128 --> 00:04:10,535
"My neighbor Bert... By Gabe Duncan".
77
00:04:10,536 --> 00:04:13,792
"Bert Doogan... Husband, Father...
78
00:04:13,793 --> 00:04:15,252
Astronaut"?
79
00:04:15,253 --> 00:04:16,708
Whoa!
80
00:04:16,709 --> 00:04:21,749
I didn't know grumpy old
Bert was an Astronaut.
81
00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:25,561
Neither does grumpy old Bert.
82
00:04:25,888 --> 00:04:27,372
I made the whole thing up.
83
00:04:27,373 --> 00:04:31,331
It was either that or actually
talking to the old dude.
84
00:04:31,332 --> 00:04:35,949
"Whenever I mow Bert's lawn, he tells me
stories about his adventures in space".
85
00:04:35,950 --> 00:04:39,080
"There was this one time where his
rocket sprung a leak and he fixed it,
86
00:04:39,081 --> 00:04:41,739
with toothpaste and moon rocks".
87
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:42,773
( Chuckling )
88
00:04:42,774 --> 00:04:44,636
Come on, dude! No one's gonna believe that.
89
00:04:44,637 --> 00:04:47,065
- What, the moon rocks?
- No, that you mowed somebody's lawn.
90
00:04:47,066 --> 00:04:48,866
Oh!
91
00:04:53,846 --> 00:04:55,814
Oh, there's my favorite playwright.
92
00:04:55,815 --> 00:04:58,180
There's my favorite Director!
93
00:04:58,181 --> 00:04:59,271
- Ah!
- Hey!
94
00:04:59,272 --> 00:05:02,581
This is so exciting.
I didn't even know you wanted to direct.
95
00:05:02,582 --> 00:05:06,624
Are you kidding? I talk loud, I
like to boss people around...
96
00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:09,032
I'm a natural.
97
00:05:09,033 --> 00:05:10,812
Now let's talk casting.
98
00:05:10,813 --> 00:05:12,354
Yes!
99
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,593
Okay.
100
00:05:13,594 --> 00:05:17,293
Well, uh, at least we know who's
gonna play the young Princess...
101
00:05:17,294 --> 00:05:19,114
- Charlie.
- Whoa.
102
00:05:19,115 --> 00:05:20,417
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
103
00:05:20,418 --> 00:05:23,639
Charlie's got to audition
like everybody else.
104
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,037
Okay, I get it.
105
00:05:26,038 --> 00:05:28,694
You want me to bring Charlie in for an...
106
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:30,815
"Audition".
107
00:05:30,816 --> 00:05:32,234
Yes, I...
108
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"Do".
109
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Ivy, look. It's just one line
and I wrote it for Charlie.
110
00:05:37,445 --> 00:05:39,357
And if she can say it, she gets the part.
111
00:05:39,358 --> 00:05:42,298
( Cellphone ringing )
112
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Hello.
113
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Mrs. Duncan, please stop calling me.
You cannot be in the play.
114
00:06:00,746 --> 00:06:03,026
Hey, guys.
115
00:06:07,324 --> 00:06:08,952
What was that?
116
00:06:08,953 --> 00:06:11,382
Uh... Bob, honey?
117
00:06:11,383 --> 00:06:15,163
Could you come out here please?
118
00:06:20,733 --> 00:06:23,373
Whatcha wearing?
119
00:06:24,703 --> 00:06:26,404
What, this?
120
00:06:26,405 --> 00:06:27,739
Got it at the Mall.
121
00:06:27,740 --> 00:06:30,775
Yeah, some regular store. Whatever.
122
00:06:30,776 --> 00:06:35,378
Oh, the place was called
"Cloz", with a "Z".
123
00:06:35,379 --> 00:06:36,581
Cloz?
124
00:06:36,582 --> 00:06:39,102
I shop there.
125
00:06:40,139 --> 00:06:42,487
At least I used to.
126
00:06:42,488 --> 00:06:45,790
Ooh, question about this
"Cloz" with a "Z"...
127
00:06:45,791 --> 00:06:49,871
Um, do they have mirrors or lights?
128
00:06:50,829 --> 00:06:53,454
All right, all right. All right, fine.
I know what you're thinking.
129
00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:56,868
Hey, at first, I wasn't sure about this
new look either. But you know what?
130
00:06:56,869 --> 00:07:00,405
Everybody kept complimenting me.
131
00:07:00,406 --> 00:07:01,330
Really?
132
00:07:01,331 --> 00:07:05,245
Yeah, they said I was "making it work".
133
00:07:05,246 --> 00:07:07,512
"Rockin' that outfit".
134
00:07:07,513 --> 00:07:11,413
Oh, yeah... "Killin' those jeans".
135
00:07:11,956 --> 00:07:16,396
Not sure that last one was a compliment.
136
00:07:20,747 --> 00:07:22,827
And those are the kind of uplifting stories
137
00:07:22,828 --> 00:07:26,092
my neighbor Bert tells me
whenever my brother P.J.
138
00:07:26,093 --> 00:07:28,673
Mows his lawn.
139
00:07:32,771 --> 00:07:35,271
Gabe, that was wonderful. Thank you.
140
00:07:35,272 --> 00:07:39,678
No, thank you for giving me the assignment.
141
00:07:39,679 --> 00:07:42,044
You know, Bert sounds
like an incredible man.
142
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:45,850
Do you think he could come
in and speak to the class?
143
00:07:45,851 --> 00:07:47,991
Um... you know...
144
00:07:47,992 --> 00:07:52,339
I don't think that's a good idea.
He's not moving around very well anymore.
145
00:07:52,340 --> 00:07:56,660
Astronauting is very hard on the knees.
146
00:07:57,374 --> 00:07:59,560
Well, if you bring him in,
I'll give you extra credit.
147
00:07:59,561 --> 00:08:01,263
And it could bring your grade up to an "A".
148
00:08:01,264 --> 00:08:04,196
Huh. An "A" in English.
149
00:08:04,197 --> 00:08:08,757
Woo! Can't ask for more better than that.
150
00:08:13,679 --> 00:08:15,272
Next!
151
00:08:15,273 --> 00:08:19,054
Okay. For the role of the young Princess,
152
00:08:19,055 --> 00:08:21,168
presenting Charlie Duncan.
153
00:08:21,169 --> 00:08:22,969
Hi, Charlie.
154
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:26,510
Okay, Charlie, say the line.
155
00:08:28,099 --> 00:08:30,036
Charlie, hey.
156
00:08:30,037 --> 00:08:32,331
Charlie, remember, your line is...
157
00:08:32,332 --> 00:08:35,600
"Your majesty, I was born to dance".
158
00:08:35,601 --> 00:08:37,819
Okay? Now you say it.
159
00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:40,940
I turned my ears off.
160
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,911
Here, just... can you give us a minute?
161
00:08:43,912 --> 00:08:45,832
Okay.
162
00:08:46,646 --> 00:08:49,046
Who's next?
163
00:08:49,848 --> 00:08:51,616
Hi, I'm Tammy.
164
00:08:51,617 --> 00:08:53,444
Hi, Tammy. Whenever you're ready.
165
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,792
( Inhales and exhales )
166
00:08:55,793 --> 00:08:59,813
Your majesty, I was born to dance.
167
00:09:12,666 --> 00:09:16,086
Tammy, that was very good.
168
00:09:17,468 --> 00:09:19,577
Wow. What did you think?
169
00:09:19,578 --> 00:09:22,647
A little show-offy for my taste.
170
00:09:22,648 --> 00:09:25,239
Oh, come on! She's fantastic.
171
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:29,688
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, yeah sure,
she can act and dance and say the line,
172
00:09:29,689 --> 00:09:34,726
but once you take that away,
then what do you have?
173
00:09:34,727 --> 00:09:36,827
Charlie.
174
00:09:42,753 --> 00:09:43,920
Okay.
175
00:09:43,921 --> 00:09:47,724
We have got two great candidates for
the role of the young Princess.
176
00:09:47,725 --> 00:09:50,660
Let's just compare them objectively.
177
00:09:50,661 --> 00:09:53,361
Charlie versus...
178
00:09:53,564 --> 00:09:55,544
Hammy.
179
00:09:56,133 --> 00:09:57,501
Tammy.
180
00:09:57,502 --> 00:10:02,011
Oh, it's too late. I already wrote "Hammy".
181
00:10:02,012 --> 00:10:04,446
Okay! First category...
182
00:10:04,447 --> 00:10:07,462
Cuteness. Well, Charlie gets a 10.
183
00:10:07,463 --> 00:10:09,713
No... no question there.
184
00:10:09,714 --> 00:10:12,474
And, uh, Tammy...
185
00:10:12,501 --> 00:10:15,368
Let's be generous and give her a five.
186
00:10:15,369 --> 00:10:16,590
A five?
187
00:10:16,591 --> 00:10:19,849
Is that too high? I'll make it a four.
188
00:10:19,850 --> 00:10:22,151
Okay, next category... personality.
189
00:10:22,152 --> 00:10:27,252
- Tammy has a nice smile.
- With dead shark eyes.
190
00:10:28,096 --> 00:10:29,699
I'll make it another four.
191
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:32,502
Charlie gets a 10.
192
00:10:32,503 --> 00:10:34,771
How about the ability to say lines?
193
00:10:34,772 --> 00:10:37,431
Oh. Yeah. There is some, uh...
194
00:10:37,432 --> 00:10:39,263
There is some debate there.
195
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:44,424
You know what?
Let's just give them each a five.
196
00:10:44,649 --> 00:10:48,885
And there you have it!
Charlie is the clear-cut winner!
197
00:10:48,886 --> 00:10:50,594
Oh, Teddy! Come on!
198
00:10:50,595 --> 00:10:53,630
But the numbers don't lie.
I didn't just make them up.
199
00:10:53,631 --> 00:10:56,151
Yes, you did!
200
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:59,453
Ivy, I will get her to say the line.
201
00:10:59,454 --> 00:11:02,874
I'm The Charlie Whisperer.
202
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:05,936
All right. She's got the part.
203
00:11:05,937 --> 00:11:08,165
I don't know how I'm gonna
explain this to Tammy.
204
00:11:08,166 --> 00:11:10,175
Don't worry about Tammy.
She's gonna get tons of parts.
205
00:11:10,176 --> 00:11:12,756
She's amazing.
206
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:21,235
- Ooh, cookies.
- Hey, they're not for you.
207
00:11:21,236 --> 00:11:23,436
- They're for Bert.
- Bert's coming over?
208
00:11:23,437 --> 00:11:28,435
Yeah, and can you stick around?
You have a way with old people.
209
00:11:28,436 --> 00:11:31,460
Usually, it creeps me out,
but now I need you.
210
00:11:31,461 --> 00:11:34,221
( Doorbell rings )
211
00:11:35,983 --> 00:11:39,163
Hey! Bert! Come on in.
212
00:11:40,089 --> 00:11:43,657
I've been living across the street
from you people for 20 years
213
00:11:43,658 --> 00:11:47,618
and I've never been invited over.
214
00:11:47,982 --> 00:11:50,128
We're shy.
215
00:11:50,129 --> 00:11:55,852
Shy? I hear that mother of yours
singing and dancing all the time!
216
00:11:55,853 --> 00:11:59,990
- Women, huh, Bert?
- Hey, tell me about it.
217
00:11:59,991 --> 00:12:00,991
Cookie?
218
00:12:00,992 --> 00:12:03,151
Yeah, sure.
219
00:12:03,152 --> 00:12:05,399
That is a nice cardigan.
220
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,077
They don't make them like that anymore.
221
00:12:08,078 --> 00:12:10,369
You got that right. ( Chuckles )
222
00:12:10,370 --> 00:12:13,130
Now you, I like.
223
00:12:13,246 --> 00:12:14,569
Anyhoo, Bert.
224
00:12:14,570 --> 00:12:16,444
I was wondering if you
could come to my class
225
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:18,906
and talk about your amazing career.
226
00:12:18,907 --> 00:12:22,267
Amazing? I was a Mailman.
227
00:12:23,681 --> 00:12:25,782
Good stuff. Good stuff.
228
00:12:25,783 --> 00:12:28,542
But let me just suggest one small...
229
00:12:28,543 --> 00:12:30,588
A little tiny tweak.
230
00:12:30,589 --> 00:12:34,524
Instead of Mailman, let's
use a different word.
231
00:12:34,525 --> 00:12:36,779
Letter carrier?
232
00:12:36,780 --> 00:12:39,272
I was thinking Astronaut.
233
00:12:39,273 --> 00:12:41,096
You want me to lie?
234
00:12:41,097 --> 00:12:44,060
What's wrong with being a Mailman?
235
00:12:44,061 --> 00:12:48,662
Nothing. It's just that the kids these
days, they're not as easily entertained.
236
00:12:48,663 --> 00:12:53,614
What with the video games,
the gizmos and the gadgets.
237
00:12:53,615 --> 00:12:56,846
We're losing our country, Bert.
238
00:12:56,847 --> 00:13:02,137
That's what I always say when
I'm talking to my radio.
239
00:13:02,138 --> 00:13:03,467
So... so you'll do it?
240
00:13:03,468 --> 00:13:05,889
No! I'm not gonna lie about my job.
241
00:13:05,890 --> 00:13:08,651
What will you lie about?
242
00:13:08,652 --> 00:13:14,114
Your vacations? And could one of
them possibly have been to Jupiter?
243
00:13:14,115 --> 00:13:16,230
Are you off your nut?
244
00:13:16,231 --> 00:13:20,671
- Who raised you anyway?
- ( Door opens )
245
00:13:22,281 --> 00:13:24,561
Hey, Bert.
246
00:13:30,881 --> 00:13:34,361
Okay, it's not your fault.
247
00:13:38,536 --> 00:13:40,543
Charlie, it's just one line.
248
00:13:40,544 --> 00:13:41,858
Say it with me.
249
00:13:41,859 --> 00:13:45,999
"Your majesty, I was born to dance".
250
00:13:49,724 --> 00:13:51,868
Charlie, come on, please.
251
00:13:51,869 --> 00:13:53,870
Hey, girls. What's going on?
252
00:13:53,871 --> 00:13:56,380
I can't get Charlie to say her line.
253
00:13:56,381 --> 00:14:00,941
Why don't you just do it with your mind?
254
00:14:01,003 --> 00:14:03,651
If you're done mocking me, I
could really use your help here.
255
00:14:03,652 --> 00:14:05,882
Oh, sweetheart.
256
00:14:05,883 --> 00:14:09,723
I'll never be done mocking you.
257
00:14:11,094 --> 00:14:13,823
Okay, relax. I have an idea.
258
00:14:13,824 --> 00:14:17,560
Okay, Charlie.
We're gonna read a fun new book.
259
00:14:17,561 --> 00:14:22,661
It's called "your majesty,
I was born to dance".
260
00:14:24,526 --> 00:14:28,738
Ohh! That sounds like a great title.
You wanna say that?
261
00:14:28,739 --> 00:14:32,245
Yeah, do you wanna say it like
the Princess in the book?
262
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:34,826
That's a dog.
263
00:14:34,945 --> 00:14:40,285
Well, it's a doggy Princess
with an invisible tiara.
264
00:14:40,751 --> 00:14:43,751
I want another book.
265
00:14:44,716 --> 00:14:48,448
Come on, Charlie. You can say the line.
266
00:14:48,449 --> 00:14:51,661
"Your majesty, I was born to dance".
267
00:14:51,662 --> 00:14:54,831
"Your majesty, I was born to dance".
268
00:14:54,832 --> 00:14:59,872
Oh! ( Chuckles ) Who's The
Charlie Whisperer now?
269
00:15:03,408 --> 00:15:08,868
All right, here he is...
Bert Doogan, famous Astronaut.
270
00:15:19,187 --> 00:15:21,461
Well, Bert.
271
00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,367
Thank you so much for joining us.
272
00:15:23,368 --> 00:15:25,628
Why don't you tell us a
little bit about yourself?
273
00:15:25,629 --> 00:15:27,969
( Mumbling )
274
00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:31,835
Could Bert take off his helmet?
275
00:15:31,836 --> 00:15:34,259
Uh, no. Next question.
276
00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:39,240
So we have a speaker who
can't actually speak?
277
00:15:39,976 --> 00:15:43,713
Okay, kids. Let's all line up and
we can all touch Bert's helmet,
278
00:15:43,714 --> 00:15:45,199
and then he'll be on his way.
279
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,230
I'll go first.
280
00:15:47,231 --> 00:15:49,853
( Makes hissing noise )
281
00:15:49,854 --> 00:15:51,821
Gabe, who is this?
282
00:15:51,822 --> 00:15:53,502
It's Bert, my neighbor.
283
00:15:53,503 --> 00:15:55,274
Bert looks surprisingly young.
284
00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:58,895
Oh, thank you, dear.
That's sweet of you to say.
285
00:15:58,896 --> 00:16:00,464
Gabe, I want the truth.
286
00:16:00,465 --> 00:16:01,383
( Sighs )
287
00:16:01,384 --> 00:16:04,804
Okay. The truth is that...
288
00:16:05,502 --> 00:16:11,402
On his last mission, Bert went through
a wormhole sending him back in time.
289
00:16:12,379 --> 00:16:15,296
Gabe Duncan, I should have known better.
290
00:16:15,297 --> 00:16:19,515
- You know, you really should have.
- Well, I should get going.
291
00:16:19,516 --> 00:16:22,696
To infinity and beyond!
292
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:35,731
Oh hey, hon'.
293
00:16:35,732 --> 00:16:39,152
Hey! There's my baby boy.
294
00:16:39,869 --> 00:16:42,538
Um, Bob, hon', you...
295
00:16:42,539 --> 00:16:45,841
- You missing something?
- Wha... oh! This?
296
00:16:45,842 --> 00:16:48,291
Aw, I just decided to
update the work threads.
297
00:16:48,292 --> 00:16:49,812
Well, sweetie.
298
00:16:49,813 --> 00:16:53,320
You're an exterminator.
Isn't the point of your uniform
299
00:16:53,321 --> 00:16:56,852
to protect you from things
that sting and bite?
300
00:16:56,853 --> 00:17:00,993
Hey, these cannons are my protection.
301
00:17:04,614 --> 00:17:06,414
Oh.
302
00:17:07,898 --> 00:17:10,733
Daddy's gone crazy.
303
00:17:10,734 --> 00:17:13,794
Mama's gonna fix it.
304
00:17:18,548 --> 00:17:20,151
- Hey.
- Where have you been?
305
00:17:20,152 --> 00:17:21,157
( Sighs )
306
00:17:21,158 --> 00:17:23,517
- And where's Charlie?
- She's at home.
307
00:17:23,518 --> 00:17:26,172
- What?!
- She refused to come.
308
00:17:26,173 --> 00:17:27,870
And then when I asked her nicely,
309
00:17:27,871 --> 00:17:32,226
she turned off her ears
and she ran away from me.
310
00:17:32,227 --> 00:17:34,590
How could you do this to me?
311
00:17:34,591 --> 00:17:37,310
Look, it's not completely my fault.
312
00:17:37,311 --> 00:17:41,697
Okay? A good Director
would have chosen Tammy!
313
00:17:41,698 --> 00:17:43,428
Teddy, the...
314
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:46,869
The young Princess goes on in two minutes.
What are we gonna do?
315
00:17:46,870 --> 00:17:48,260
( Sighs )
316
00:17:48,261 --> 00:17:51,441
I'll take care of it.
317
00:17:52,102 --> 00:17:57,322
( High-pitched ) Your majesty,
I was born to dance!
318
00:18:09,637 --> 00:18:12,757
( Cheers and applause )
319
00:18:21,391 --> 00:18:24,012
Hey. What's going on?
320
00:18:24,013 --> 00:18:26,609
Vern, what are you doing here?
321
00:18:26,610 --> 00:18:29,897
I'm here because I love you, man.
322
00:18:29,898 --> 00:18:31,938
Uh-oh.
323
00:18:32,234 --> 00:18:37,214
Bob, honey. Come here.
Have a seat next to me.
324
00:18:39,939 --> 00:18:44,927
Now, sweetie, we have some things we'd
like to say, so please just hear us out.
325
00:18:44,928 --> 00:18:46,795
Teddy? You start.
326
00:18:46,796 --> 00:18:47,556
( Sighs )
327
00:18:47,557 --> 00:18:50,917
Dad, I miss the old you.
328
00:18:51,304 --> 00:18:57,204
You know, the normal guy whose
clothes aren't tighter than mine.
329
00:18:57,465 --> 00:18:59,805
Okay. P.J.
330
00:19:00,652 --> 00:19:02,632
Dad...
331
00:19:02,802 --> 00:19:05,714
I want us to shop at different stores.
332
00:19:05,715 --> 00:19:10,215
I don't want us to have the same pants.
333
00:19:11,230 --> 00:19:14,086
For the record, I love your new look!
334
00:19:14,087 --> 00:19:17,507
It's a comedic gold mine.
335
00:19:17,694 --> 00:19:21,630
- For instance...
- Uh, uh, thank you, Gabe.
336
00:19:21,631 --> 00:19:23,227
Vern?
337
00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:25,834
Would you like to share?
338
00:19:25,835 --> 00:19:28,043
Look at me, boss.
339
00:19:28,044 --> 00:19:33,944
I had to expose my flesh to the enemy
just so you could show off your guns.
340
00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:38,079
What's going on, Bob?
341
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,544
Are you having some sort
of a mid-life crisis?
342
00:19:40,545 --> 00:19:42,345
No!
343
00:19:43,153 --> 00:19:44,934
( Groans )
344
00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:47,515
I... ( Groans )
345
00:19:47,593 --> 00:19:49,120
All right.
346
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:53,896
A couple of months ago I'm in
the park with Toby and, uh...
347
00:19:53,897 --> 00:19:55,183
( Sighs )
348
00:19:55,184 --> 00:19:58,501
Somebody thought I was his grandfather.
349
00:19:58,502 --> 00:20:00,240
So you went through all of this
350
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,771
because of some off-handed
comment from a stranger?
351
00:20:02,772 --> 00:20:04,552
Yeah!
352
00:20:04,553 --> 00:20:08,411
But it... guys, it inspired me
to lose weight, get in shape.
353
00:20:08,412 --> 00:20:10,846
And your new body is great.
354
00:20:10,847 --> 00:20:14,850
What you've chosen to
put on your new body...
355
00:20:14,851 --> 00:20:17,371
Not so great.
356
00:20:17,854 --> 00:20:19,714
Dad.
357
00:20:20,194 --> 00:20:23,837
Will you accept our help and
return those clothes today?
358
00:20:23,838 --> 00:20:29,738
There's a car waiting outside to take
you to an age-appropriate store.
359
00:20:30,127 --> 00:20:32,758
All right, fine. I'll go.
360
00:20:32,759 --> 00:20:38,659
But, um... you're gonna have to give me
20 minutes to get out of these pants.
361
00:20:46,617 --> 00:20:47,950
Well, Charlie.
362
00:20:47,951 --> 00:20:51,954
Dad returned all the clothes, so there's
one less teenager in the house.
363
00:20:51,955 --> 00:20:53,956
And in other news...
364
00:20:53,957 --> 00:20:56,573
Bert: Hey! Keep it down in there!
365
00:20:56,574 --> 00:20:57,749
Gabe got in trouble at school,
366
00:20:57,750 --> 00:21:00,353
so now he has to interview
our neighbor Bert for real.
367
00:21:00,354 --> 00:21:02,482
Now where was I?
368
00:21:02,483 --> 00:21:04,403
1983.
369
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,136
1983.
370
00:21:07,137 --> 00:21:10,398
The first-class stamp cost 20 cents.
371
00:21:10,399 --> 00:21:13,452
And the zip plus-four code was established.
372
00:21:13,453 --> 00:21:16,161
- ( Mouthing )
- Now the Z.P.4. Code,
373
00:21:16,162 --> 00:21:19,208
was originally supposed to be just a Z.P.3.
374
00:21:19,209 --> 00:21:23,611
Now this is where it gets
complicated, so just stay with me.
375
00:21:23,612 --> 00:21:26,409
It looks like Gabe's
gonna be there a while.
376
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:29,950
Wish him good luck, Charlie.
377
00:21:31,761 --> 00:21:37,399
All right, Vern. You wanna look good in
that uniform, we gotta get you into shape.
378
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,887
All right.
379
00:21:38,888 --> 00:21:43,688
Now before we begin, we
need to stretch out.
380
00:21:44,556 --> 00:21:46,115
You are limber!
381
00:21:46,116 --> 00:21:48,659
All right, let's try some sit-ups.
382
00:21:48,660 --> 00:21:51,840
Now watch my technique.
383
00:21:54,848 --> 00:21:57,908
All right, your turn.
384
00:22:00,955 --> 00:22:01,767
( Groans )
385
00:22:01,768 --> 00:22:03,351
Vern? You okay?
386
00:22:03,352 --> 00:22:08,752
I think I did a little bit
too much too fast, boss.
387
00:22:15,047 --> 00:22:20,947
Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend.
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388
00:22:20,997 --> 00:22:25,547
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