Original subtitles

Hey, Leave it. Leave it.-Let me get hurt.

What’s the use of me making a body like this?

Even MTV has a woman in his life.

And me even after hitting so many sixers…

Sixers.

Of course.

Oh, what use would be having a woman like Bula sister in your life?

You would get flattened if she hugged you. -Shut up!

Has MTV been crushed, huh?

crushed?

Who knows if he has been crushed?

Crushed, cuddled.

Pain is pleasure.

MTV is a brilliant channel, man.

Thought he was K L Segal.

Turned out to be Baba Segal.

Explain something to me, guys.

Is MTV really…?

I mean, is sister Bula really…?

Real.

100% real.

But how?

There’s at least 12-14 years difference.

Does this happen?

Ah

Everything happens in Kolkata.

Accept it.

Of course.

Rascal, rotten pumpkin.

Played around on my body till now and suddenly he is scared.

Idiotic arse.

It’s not that, babu.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I was fucking busy Sholmes is a gossipmonger. Very sneaky peaky.

And what are you? You leave this!

You put so much pepper in my eyes that I got caught.

Now what will happen to me?

You rat!

This is your love, Bula di?

I was practicing for an audition.

Do you think I like this?

Is this our relationship?

Pfft,

you stay for 15 minutes in my bedroom,

and then you flee over the walls

and you talk about a relationship?

Don’t show me this nonsense!

Now the entire colony will come to know.

Elder Brother will throw me out of the house.

Now what will happen to me?

Nothing will happen to you.

I am here.

I know how much you are here!

Those friends of yours will spread this over the entire colony.

What will I do? This is North Calcutta!

Oh god, so cheap and middle-class. I hate North Calcutta.

Listen,

I will Whatsapp at night.

I don’t understand practice.

You have to come.

Size does matter, oh dear. Size does matter.

You are in a joyride, I am in the gutter.

Size does matter, oh dear. does ma...

Hey,

what’s this I am hearing?

Please don’t start again. Give me a break.

Oh,

what did I start?

I just came here to congratulate you.

Why?

What a wonderful work you have done!

Poor sister Bula was so sad lately.

Why? What no?

Of course, you too…

How?

You were so distant.

Like how others…

I mean…

You mean…

Means you were avoiding me.

For sister Bula.

How sweet.

Is it so?

They said you were gay.

I thought the same.

But…

But…

But you are not gay.

You are sister Bula’s.

Such fortune she has…

how she gets such innocent love,

and songs with it.

Makes me jealous.

No baby,

it is not that.

I sometimes think that ,

I should eat sweets and buttered rice and get a figure like sister Bula.

Size does matter,

doesn’t it?

Size does matter?

You are an artist.

artist.

You don’t think like them.

You are different.

Do this…

get married.

I am going downstairs and telling everyone…

MTV weds sister Bula.

Huh?

Okay?

Hey, Listen,

no, this one,

I will gift a dhoti.

Designer Kalamkari dhoti

and gamcha punjabi on top.

You gift anything,

gamcha, punjabi,

just remember to get elastic ones,

otherwise

who will dress him?

Listen,

Bengali marriage rituals,

what are there?

First, welcoming the groom,

then Padmabasta,

then the seven sacred turns,

then exchange of garlands,

then the first glance.

Hey listen,

talking about first glance,

who will pick sister Bula’s dais up?

You!

Who else?

Dais?

What is that?

Guys,

you really think they are going to have such an elaborate marriage? Like

seriously?

Why, bro?

Are there short marriages in Bengal?

Yes!

Everything happens here!

But then in Devdas,

the bride sees the groom from between the leaves.

Hey, come here..

come here, come here!

Hey, bro!

You also do that kind of marriage,

like the Devdas-kind.

Where there are leaves,

sacred turns,

and what were you guys saying?

Yeah, getting up on the dais.Dais.

Not just registry.

Hey, fucker!

What are you saying?

What the hell is going on guys?

I seriously have no clue.

We are talking about the darling and sweetheart’s marriage.

What sweetheart?

I brought you home with a shout,

I have got a seat in the scent of perfume incense.

I brought you home with a shout,

In your wedding?

Benarasi? Kanjivaram?

Nothing.

What?

You can’t say that.

You have to wear a saree at the wedding.

Afterwards maybe take the saree off and wear

a

lacy nightie

or

don’t wear anything…

Pfft.

Mtv's choice.

what are you even saying?

Shameless.

If elder brother doesn’t accept this marriage

then won’t get either kanjivaram or benarasi.

But nothing will happen.

Remember this.

He will definitely accept.

I'm asking your Jibon brother.

Then we will go to your elder brother and fix the marriage.

You’re serious?

Then I’ll wear the Kanjivaram?

Bula sister,

the plate of food.

Will you take it?

Ugh.

Listen,

after marriage,

will you stay at this house

or that one?

Death of me.

Elder sister-in-law,

it would have been better if the shadow figure was you.

Hello

Dad

Who’s speaking?

I’m Moral,dad.

You’re only younger son.

Who’s that?

I don’t have any sons by that name.

Daddy please,

this is MTV.

Oh,

now I understood.

Actually we don’t get that channel here.

So why suddenly?

How much money do you need?

No no..

I don’t need money.

I want to return home.

I’m getting suffocated at home.

Why?

Kolkata is such a big city.

Pfft.

I want to return to Siliguri.

Kolkata…especially North Kolkata…it stinks.

But Siliguri doesn’t have any big recording studio.

Also your brother and his wife have come from Denmark. There’s no space at home.

Try again during Christmas.

Hmm.

Also try singing a few original songs in between.

If your throat allows it, okay?

Hey, man. New bridegroom.

What the fuck are you guys doing?

Nothing. Just.

Hey, trust me, I don’t want this marriage.I was just experimenting with sister Bula. That it will get this far…

Now what will happen?

I already ordered bras and panties in sister Bula’s size. -Fuck you, man.

Try to understand my crisis.

Listen,

you will fuck sister Bula and there will be no crisis?

Better listen,

marry sister Bula

and all of the crisis will flow away with river.

If you guys don’t stop this wedding, then I will commit suicide,

and I will note down all of your names.

MTV bro,

we need your kurta size.

Before that I have to take another measurement. -Listen,

someone call Jibon brother. When will he return?

Sister Bula’s elder brother needs to be talked to.

MTV’s wedding needs to happen this weekend.

Choco don't have any holidays.

Wedding, my foot! Over my dead body! Listen to me…

See that…

new twist to the story makes me dizzy.

Bro MTV,

our soldiers are fighting at the border.

To hell with your mother and your border!

How strange, I don’t want to get married, and where did this even come from?

I was just hanging around with sister Bula, she has got great boobs.

Don’t you like boobs? I like them too. She has great boobs!

I just wanted to be in bed with her.

So it’s okay! There will be a bed at the wedding.

And this time we won’t mess around at the wedding night.

Okay.

Fuck you, Phantom. Fuck you, guys. Dicksuckers. Motherfuckers.

Bula,

learn to play ludo afresh.

Otherwise this generation won’t even remember you.

Don’t worry, once the wedding’s over, everything will be solved.

You just…

I can understand your frustration, dear

But can’t help it.

Even I would have been scared and wanted to run away.

Would have attempted suicide.

But can’t help you, you know.

It would have been better if we had gone to the border.

But can’t help it.

No dear, don’t cry. Don’t cry.

Can’t help it, no?

Can’t help it, dude.

Sister-in-law said there will be a wedding, then there will be a wedding.

Otherwise would have let go.

Selfie, selfie! -No!

Come, come. -No!

Yes yes…1…2…3!

Go see..

Gonsha brother, see who it is.

You will sit and play cards, but won’t see who it is.

Lazy fuckers!

There are no empty rooms, you can’t rent the place.

Excuse me?

We don’t need any paying guests!

I don’t need it, brother Gonsha.

What?

Told correctly, right?

Yeah…right.

I know everything about you

Now let me enter?

Yes yes…come.

Hey, CD!

Saw your music video.

You were just awesome.

When is your new music video coming out?

I am telling you,

you are going to be a very good director.

Phantom…

when will you play at the IPL?

I am waiting for your grand innings.

What’s the case here?

First get me your energy tonic.

Then I will tell you what the case is.

After seeing your FB post,

I came to know about this and, I came running from Golf Green,

and you guys tell me, what the case is?

Even yesterday I had a word with him.

He didn’t tell me anything.

Suddenly I came to know about this.

Now you guys tell me this,

is this a relationship we build after such a long time?

My head is spinning…

How could you do this to me?

Do I know him?

Again you started whispering into Kinky’s ear.

How many time I told you not to whisper?

Say what you want to say clearly.

Why don’t you listen to me?

What’s going on, man?

I need a shot, please.

Keep your mouth shut. Let me understand what’s happening.

Ask him, CD, what’s going on.

After playing all the love game with me,

now you’re with Bula sister?

You promised me, bastard,

you promised me

that you wouldn’t marry any girl.

You son of a bitch. You dog!

But you were saying you aren’t gay!

Then where did he come from?

He is not gay.

He is bi.

MTV?

Oh my god,

now even my head is spinning.

Head spinning?

Poor guy, of course your head will spin.

What’s its fault?

So much trouble in one day.

You’re an artist.

Can you put up with all this trouble?

Chill now.

How do I chill?

Bula sister in the morning and a guy in the evening… can’t even remember his name.

You’re putting me in so much trouble.

Me?

Oh my!

I thought you love Bula sister.

Now with what the guy is saying, I don’t think Bula sister will marry you.

Really?

Yes, really.

Stupid guy.

You don’t understand women’s minds?

Who wants to share such a lover?

Yeah?

Yes.

This delicacy cannot be shared.

Can’t find someone else to fuck with?

I won’t let you fuck MTV’s ass up.

He was never gay.

He’s not a gay.

He’s bi.

As you know, AC and DC. And I have done nothing to his ass, you murky mouth.

Whatever there was to do, was done by him.

Never.

He still licks his mouth when he sees young women.

He is not gay.

Hi, Bula sister.

Hi, Darshil.

Oh,

thank god.

At least you recognised me.

How can I forget you,

Babe!

Babe?

Sorry, Bula sister,

I’ve never lied to you.

It was wonderful with you.

You’re very charming in bed.

Don’t ever set foot in my room again.

Can’t help it, guys,

it’s biology.

What?

Yes, I’m ...

I’m bisexual.

Curse nature, not me.

God, now the wedding is off.

Stupid idiot.

I ordered expensive bras and panties.

Who will I sell those sizes to?

Couldn’t you understand this plan before, you stupid?

Thanks, sister-in-law.

I have a unique gift for you.

An original song by me.

I want to sink in your eyelashes.

In song’s melody, in far off lands, I lose all.

I search for you in dreams secretly.

In a sealed envelope, in your name, I have written my heart.

Days slip away….

in the mystery of your eyes.

Nights slip away,

in the shade of your hair.