Original subtitles

Everything is fucked up.

Dammit.

Fuck.

Gansha,

are you kidding me?

I’m not kidding. I’m looking for a cassette of shehnai.

Where did you find this ancient thing, man?

I had it.

But shehnai at dawn?

Why, my dear arse Gansha, why?

Your wife's father-in-law’s wife is the arse

Today is their marriage conjugation night, remember?

Marriage conjugation!

Marriage conjugation

Are you sure

that marriage conjugation happens the night after the cursed one?

Hey, what?

No,

conjugation of marriage comes just after baby shower.

Arse.

And he dreams to be a film director with this knowledge.

Shut up, you Mickey Mouse.

I don’t believe in fucking marriage.

What?

Then you’re going to have a very tough sex life.

Indian girls are pretty marriage freak, you know?

Oh, really?

So how many women have you slept with?

Hey, that’s my personal matter. - Guys, tell me what’s happening here too

Is CD getting married too?

Look,

Look, you guys hide a lot from me.

This can’t go on, okay?

Ah, man.

Can we get back to the main crisis?

It would be tough to get the old guy out of here.

From where?

Oh, god. Today is their first night after marriage.

Just relax for a bit, dude.

Bullshit. Huh.

All my music is fading away, man.

I can’t see her with that old man.

All my music will fade away.

Then at least some good will come of it.

Hey, what?

Oh,

nothing will happen.

I will punch

him so hard with my bat

that marriage will go this way

and conjugation the other.

And you on another way.

No, sit here

peacefully.

Guys, I have a plan.

Wait, wait. What? Doing massage, right? Oh, listen to me.

Muscle relaxant, muscle relaxant, idiots.

What?

Works like sleeping pills.

It’s a very strong sedative and I know the trick.

What will happen then?

Ah,

uncle

will fall asleep, duffer.

Choco,

I’m proud of you.

Wow. High-five!

Yes.

Yes.

One minute.

We are supposed to be 6.

Right.

Where’s the final one?

Hey, Sholmes is missing.

Where did he go?

Bullshit.

He was missing from the beginning.

I haven’t seen him since morning either.

What the fuck.

Where did he go?

Uma,

Slept well?

Does it just happen just like that?

You have to drag and bring it.

Oh, dear.

Mosquitoes must have bitten you.

Forgot to hang the mosquito net.

I am really sorry.

Can mosquito nets stop this type of mosquito?

Then?

It needs other types of medicines.

As if you don’t know!

What happened?

Mosquito bit you?

Huh,

why do I have to make all the effort?

You’re right.

Why do you have to make the effort all the time?

Even I have to…

sorry.

Really sorry.

Ok....?

scratch my back.

Scratch your back?

Yes.

Listen Jibon da,

Ugh.

Jibon da,

These pigs arrive at the climactic moments… Hate this. -Jibon da are you listening,

Jibon da,

Where did he go?

Might have gone to the attic. -No, isn’t there.

Hey,

what have you started at this early morning hour?

Sir,

Sir,

it’s a disaster.

We can’t find detective sir.

Eh?

Yeah.

Can’t find him? - Actually we never noticed.

We haven’t seen him since last night.

What! You haven’t seen him since last night?

and realising it now?

How would we?

We were all busy with you.

After we brought you downstairs,

we fell asleep here and there.

Then the police must be informed.

Before that, search the entire house.

He might be asleep somewhere.

Huh?

Choco?

What?

Have you gone mad?

You are looking for Sholmes in the carton?

Murder!

Murder!

He has been murdered.

Where is everyone?

He has been murdered.

Murder! Come here!

I had just

gone to the bathroom…

Trust me, I didn’t remember that

the one upstairs cannot be used anymore.

The moment I stepped into the washroom…

What happened next, brother Sholmes?

Power cut.

There was one, right?

No?

Then why did it all go dark in front of my eyes suddenly?

I was searching for the tap.

Suddenly,

a sudden flash of light before my eyes.

Felt like lightning in my head.

And then?

Blackout.

I don’t remember anything else.

You people woke me up.

You need a doctor.

Have this syrup.

It works as wonder.

Have it, have it.

Have it

Bees come humming into my room… -Sister? O, sister? Look, I got you a saree.

Don’t know if you will like it.

I don’t know your favourite colour.

So brought red.

New brides look nice in red.

I like all colours, sister Bula.

But he ...

likes pink.

Which man likes pink, eh?

Never heard of it before.

Lies.

All lies.

He likes green.

It’s normally brown,

you know.

But he loves seeing me

in pink.

Actually, that was my saree’s colour when we first met.

Oh,

how did you first meet?

That’s a long story.

Tell me.

Want to know?

Yes.

Tell us.

Tell us how you found sister-in-law.

Ah, that’s a long story.

So what?

Tell us. Please.

Oh, how can you tell where one will connect

with someone?

You can tell it once it happens, right?

Yes.

Now please tell us.

Yes. Please, Please.- Tell us. Come on.

Then listen…

He was fishing in our village’s largest pond.

And I was diving in the same pond.

went deeper and deeper

almost to the bottom.

I’m riding a car through a deep forest.

Suddenly I hear

a woman’s scream.

“Help,

help!”

“Help,

help!”

And then?

I didn’t even notice.

Somehow I get tangled in his hook.

Through the dark forest,

shoving aside sea of leaves I see…

Dance, Uma,dance.

Robbers had captured

a beautiful woman.

A helpless woman.

The robbers were

throwing and breaking alcohol bottles.

I cried out,

in my head, of course,

“Basanti, don’t dance in front of these mongrels.”

His fish hook bit into my chest.

Such a tingling pain, Bula di, I can’t even explain.

in my head, of course,

Huh, such drama. Jibon Laha has never gone fishing in his life,

never.

Small pieces of glass are piercing her foot

And my chest hurt.

Pierces her foot,

And my chest hurt.

Pierces her foot,

hurts my chest.

Pierces her foot,

I said it in my mind,

"Enough is enough!", I tell myself.

I took out my revolver

I fell upon them.

Hands up!

And then?

Then?

And then?

And done.

Done?

Lies.

All lies.

You look so nice, so nice!

Marriage conjugation night means exertion.

Have the juice.

No, I get a lot of acidity

if I have juice.

Then should I ask Gansha to make your some strong tea?

Idiot,

who has tea at such a time?

Then have some cold drink.

Nah. I start burping a lot.

But I will make an offer you can’t refuse.

Natural Viagra.

Something that you need a lot tonight, Jibon da.

Try to understand, brother Jibon

Understand

Yeah,

tonight won’t go well without this.

Have it.

This will make you

strong

like a horse

and fertile

like Salman Khan.

Have it, have it.

Why are you waiting?

Sister-in-law is waiting?

Should I open it?

May I?

Sedative?

He is jumping like a horse.

Hold on.

What hold and on?

Jibon uncle is so on that we all will end up lying down.

What happened ?