All language subtitles for Baby Daddy s05e11 Trial by Liar.eng

And I got some tea here.

Now, Emma, I know this
isn't the first time

you and I have had breakfast
while waiting for your dad

to come home from a hook-up.

But if all goes well with him
and Zoey, will you promise me

you'll still make time
for your Uncle Tucker?

Yes.

Sure, don't tell me
about your boyfriend,

and I won't tell you anything. No,
let's never tell anybody anything.

Ben, what are you doing?

Aren't you supposed to
be upstairs with Zoey?

And if you're not at Zoey's,
why am I babysitting your kid?

Hold that thought.

Ben, hey. Can we talk?

Absolutely. Hey, quick question:

In the last 48 hours,

did you happen to get back
together with your kid's dad,

a guy I've never even heard of?

Yes, but if I could
just explain it...

You catch that? 'Cause
I can call her back

and slam the door in her face again.

I'm good.

You good?

Yes.

We good.

(theme music playing)

- Sync and corrected by TheDelta -
- www.addic7ed.com -

Danny: Riley, can we please just talk?

Talk? Or make excuses?

Because I'm pretty sure
I've heard everything.

Guys? Can you just hold
on for two more floors?

It was an awkward night,

followed by a very awkward bus ride,

followed by an even
more awkward cab ride,

so if you could just
keep it together until...

(elevator bell dings)

Oh, thank God.

Babe, come on, please just talk to me!

I mean, we're home now,

so let's go inside
and sort all this out.

Actually, I'm home.

Not sure where you live anymore.

Oh, maybe Sam will let you

sleep with her again.

(growling)

(growling)

(yelling)

I'll bet sometimes you wish

you were adopted, huh?

I can't find my toothbrush!

(yelling)

I can't find my conditioner!

Riley and I had a fight.

I don't want to talk about it.

I will be in my room.

Uh, remember how you
couldn't find your toothbrush?

You're not gonna find your room, either.

- Sam lives here.
- (Yelling)

The good news is,

your mom's in another country,

so you could just stay there.

Actually, that's great
news for all of us.

One, two, three, four,

Bonnie's back with gifts galore.

Five, six, seven, eight...

Peru sucked.

Brad wasn't there, so I came home.

Well, go back.

Okay? Keep looking. It's a big country.

Oh, I found him...

in the Dallas airport.

We rekindled our romance
in the handicapped stall.

Thank God for all those handles.

Hey, how was the Hamptons?

Here! Thought I'd save you the trip.

You're probably too weak from lying!

Riley! Please! Come on!

I feel like I've missed something.

Dude, what is wrong with me?

Can't believe I picked Zoey,

the girl I met three months ago,

over Sam, the girl
I've been obsessed with

since high school

who crawled naked into my bed.

(emphasizing) Naked girl in... my bed!

You know, you could've let Sam
down after you got down, right?

I know! Trust me, I know.

I didn't listen to you, and I'm sorry.

When did I become the dumpee?

I used to be the dump-er.

The jerk.

I wanna be the jerk again.

We all do, man. We all do.

Wait a minute.

Nobody knows what a complete
and total idiot you were.

You have the opportunity
to rewrite your story

and become the dump-er.

But Zoey lives in the building.

She'll tell everyone the truth.

Ah. But you're forgetting, my friend...

you are holding one very powerful card.

I delivered your baby!

And I'll be grateful for that forever,

but I'm not gonna pretend to be a couple

just to protect your pride.

If he had any pride, do you think
he'd be standing here right now?

I think not.

Look, Ben, I'm sorry.

Aaron and I broke up
while I was pregnant,

but then he got deployed,

and I figured that it was over forever.

But now he's back, and we're
gonna try and make it work.

Well, I'm guessing that
Aaron doesn't have a clue

that I exist and might
be a little surprised

to hear that just days ago,

you were kissing me in my shower.

Wow! It really feels like
you're blackmailing me right now.

See? She gets it.

Look, all you gotta do
is pretend we're in love

until I dump you.

A little PDA, and I'll be on my way.

Really? You don't find
this pathetic at all?

You'd be surprised what
I don't find pathetic.

And when Riley asked me if
I ever had feelings for Sam,

I said no, because I
never had feelings for her.

I mean, you're the one who taught me

that you don't need feelings
to have sex with someone.

And that's what you chose to listen to?

What should I do?

Listen, honey. You're Danny and Riley.

You're meant to be together.

I'm sure she'll come around,

it'll just take some time.

And until then I will be
right here by your side, okay?

Thanks, Mom. I really appreciate it.

Is it cool if I crash
with you for a bit?

Or we could be proactive!

You know what heals
wounds faster than time?

Apologies, and lots of 'em. Sincere,
insincere... it doesn't really matter!

I will help you figure out whatever crap

you need to say to get her back!

Hey, what's going on?

You wanna know what's going on?

I will tell you what's going on.

Now would be great.

Danny slept with Sam.

What? Last night, how could he?

No, not last night. In high school.

Oh.

Oh?

All you can say is "Oh"?

You should be furious.

Annoyed, maybe. Furious?

Furious was when I found out

that you were dumping me for my brother.

Okay, okay, okay.

You're totally missing the point here.

Hey, babe.

Hey, there's my girl.

I professed my love for her,
and she professed it back.

She even cried. Isn't that right?

I sure did.

Okay, so, just a little public
display for my co-workers,

and you'll never have to see me again.

And if we're so in love,
then why are we breaking up?

You're too clingy, or
I met someone hotter.

Actually, I haven't decided.

Hey, Tucker.

Oh, hey, hey everybody, look!

Look, it's Ben and his
new girlfriend, Zoey.

Where the hell is everybody?

I don't know. Sam's on
break, Carter called in sick.

Oh, yeah, I'm supposed to be working.

Ooh! Look, there's someone
I give a crap about, come on.

Hey... you know that guy?

Yeah. That's Ben. He owns this place,

and that's his girlfriend Zoey.

Oh, really.

Yeah. Really.

Who are you, Nosey Nancy?

The father of her child.

Uh-oh.

That ain't good.

Oh, yeah. Apparently,
she's been in love with me

since the moment she set eyes on me.

Took me a little while to
come around, but here I am.

Hey.

- Aaron?
- What the hell is going on?

I thought we talked through everything.

No, Aaron, please let me
explain, Ben was just...

Hey, why don't we discuss this outside?

Outside seems like a great option.

Oh, there's no need to go outside.

- Let's go.
- No, I swear, I didn't...

I'm just saying, man, Zoey's
jealous ex punching you out

really helps your story.

This could not be going any better.

I'm in jail.

This could be going better!

I should've just told people the truth.

Well, I'd like to know the truth.

Yeah, well, you ain't gonna get it,

so just sit your ass
back down, jailbird.

Tucker! Don't tease the Marine.

Get me outta here, man.

Thank you for your service.

Riley should be home
for lunch any minute.

Just remember... a good apology

is nature's get-out-
of-jail-free card.

Just say you're sorry, that you
don't want your stupid mistake

to ruin 20 years of friendship and love,

and that you miss her.

And you're sure that'll work?

Because I really need this to work.

Trust your mother.

I have been apologizing for stupid
stuff I've said my entire life.

You never apologize.

Well, I mean to, I just get so busy.

Honey, everything is gonna be fine.

Riley is just overreacting
and being hypersensitive.

She'll come around, I promise.

Oh, she's here. I'm goin' in.

Go get her, go get her,
go get her, go get her!

Riley, wait! I love you!

And I'm so sorry. Please.
Don't let my stupid mistake

ruin 20 years of love and friendship.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

I'm just... I'm so mixed
up and confused right now.

That's okay. I get it.

You're just... overreacting
and being hypersensitive.

So... you think I'm overreacting?

Does it look like I'm
overreacting to you?

Yeah, a little,

but it's okay. I love you anyway.

Oh, you love me anyway,

despite my terrible flaws. Oh,
wow, thank you. How lucky am I?

I'd like to start over.

Oh, no. No, no, no.
There is no starting over.

I think you've said
everything you need to say,

and by the way, I think any woman

would react exactly the
same way I'm reacting.

Uhh, I might have to
disagree with you there.

I think most people probably
wouldn't think this is a big deal.

Okay, well, you wanna know what I think?

This feels like a trick.

I cannot believe you're in jail.

I'm so sorry...

Oh, no, it's not you
I'm mad at, it's him.

Oh, cool, then carry on.

- Honey, I...
- Don't "honey" me.

Don't anything me.

You know, I don't want you around my
son if you can't control your temper

over something as stupid as this.

Zoey! Come on!

See why I broke up with her?

I'm such an idiot.

I can't believe I messed
everything up again.

I love Zoey, but I didn't think

I was ready to be a father.

I don't deserve to be Hunter's dad.

Dude... no one is ready to be a dad.

I wasn't.

As far as deserving it, well...

none of us do.

Because it is the most incredible thing

you'll ever do in your life.

And that is why you have
to do everything you can

to make it work.

Thanks, man.

- I hate you less now.
- (Door buzzes)

And I you.

(Bonnie and Tucker chattering)

Where is he?

Benjamin Bon Jovi Wheeler!

If you were Danny, I would be

so disappointed in you right now!

Why'd you call her?

Two years ago, she
gave me a hundred bucks

to call if you were ever in jail.

I had to honor our alliance.

But don't you worry. I will not rest

until I get you out of here.

You are my number one priority,

- and I will not stop until I make...
- (phone chimes)

Oh, god. Riley says your brother's
upstairs and he's in trouble.

You know what? I gotta go.

You're just gonna leave me here?

Ben? Did you not hear
me? Danny's in trouble!

Riley! I got your message.

I'm so happy that you wanna talk.

Did you get my pizza with "I'm
sorry" spelled in pepperoni?

I sure did.

Oh. I thought you were done for the day.

Kinda looks like you're
in the middle of a trial.

Oh, I am.

Yours.

Danny Wheeler, you are on
trial for breaking my heart.

And you're right... we
should ask other people

if I overreacted.

So you want to put me on a fake trial

using fake jurors

to decide whether
you're gonna forgive me?

Pretty much. Yeah.

But those jurors aren't
fake. I paid them $20

to stay late and I even found a judge.

I've agreed to remain
impartial, despite the fact

that I was recently dumped

by my lyin'
son-of-a-bitch ex.

Obviously, I will be
acting as my own attorney,

but don't worry, I
got you representation.

Don't worry, baby!

Your mama's right here and...
oh, god, son of a bitch!

I'm a dead man.

Look, man, this whole
thing was all my fault,

Aaron just got back from
protecting our country,

and now he's fighting for his true love,

who's waiting for him at home

with their newborn son right now.

Is this all true?

Yes, sir.

All right, soldier. You're free to go.

- Thank you.
- Anytime. You wanna share a cab?

Not so fast, pretty boy.

Get over here.

The only thing you'll be sharing

is a 4:00 baloney
sandwich... with that guy.

Mr. Wheeler... when I
specifically asked you

if you had feelings for
one Samantha Saffe...

what did you say?

Well, technically, I
never had feelings...

It's a yes-or-no
question, Mr. Wheeler.

I said no.

But you did in fact sleep
with Sam in high school,

did you not?

Yes, but it meant nothing.

(murmuring)

So... Mr. Wheeler, if sleeping
with Sam "meant nothing,"

then why didn't you tell me?

(bangs) Objection!

On what grounds?

She's making my son look bad.

Overruled.

The only thing that makes
him look bad is clothes.

Please answer the question, Mr. Wheeler.

I don't know.

I guess I didn't tell you,

because I knew it would upset you.

So you did lie.

No! No, I told you I
never had feelings for Sam,

and I didn't. It was just sex.

(murmuring)

Maybe it's time for you

to throw yourself on
the mercy of the court,

but, first let the court
put some lipstick on.

Your witness, Mrs. Wheeler.

It's about time. Was gettin' real tired

of hearing other people talk.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Mr. Wheeler, when you slept with Sam,

were you single?

Yeah. I was 17.

But you were in love with someone else.

I was in love with Riley.
I've been in love with her

since I was six,

but she never thought of
me as more than a friend.

Objection! Counsel is not on trial here.

Overruled! How could you not notice

this beautiful gift
that the Lord gave us?

Justice may be blind, but I'm not.

And, Danny...

for the majority of the time

that you were in love with Ms. Perrin,

would the rest of the world
have described her as... fat?

- Oh! Objection!
- Mom! Come on!

Exhibit A!

A crude rendering

of Riley in seventh grade.

And my son... loved her anyway.

The defense rests!

Mrs. Wheeler, we have a real
situation with your other son.

Who?

- Ben.
- Oh.

Your Majesty, I need a recess.

Objection! There are no recesses.

Okay, so you mean to tell me

in your little made-up
girl-power trial

there are no recesses?

I'll allow it. 10-minute recess.

Besides, they just
refilled the snack machine,

and I gotta get there before
somebody takes all the Ding Dongs!

Look, this man is a
respected business owner,

and the only damages
incurred were to his own bar,

which just makes him
stupid, not a criminal.

As you can see, officer,
I've already served my time.

Look, it's not his fault.

My first kid was so huge,

this one just slipped
out a little early.

Head first!

He should be wearing a helmet right now.

Fine. Just go. I don't
wanna spend the next hour

filling out paperwork.

Plus, they just refilled
the snack machine.

I gotta get there before
somebody takes all the Ding Dongs.

Oh my god, thank you.

All right, come on,
Ben, I need you upstairs.

We dated, haven't we?

Yes.

You're still
pissed at me...

- Yes.
- Okay, yeah.

Ladies of the jury,

I want you to imagine a
girl who, her whole life,

had a best friend that she trusted

more than anyone.

And then one day, she
fell in love with him,

and she felt safe and protected.

Until... she found out he
had sex with her mortal enemy,

and lied to her about it

for seven years.

So... ladies of the jury, I
ask you one simple question:

How would you feel if
that girl... was you?

Your honor! I have a surprise witness!

- Oh, wow, I thought you were kidding.
- I know.

What are you doing here?

Uh, we're kind of wrapping it up,

but I'll allow a little
eye candy for our jurors.

(jokingly) Oops.

Okay... so, Ben...

would you please tell the jury

your history with Miss Perrin?

Okay... well, when we were kids,

Danny was in love with Riley,
Riley was in love with me,

and I was in love with a girl named Sam.

But then I realized I did love Riley,

and we dated for a couple of months.

And Danny stood by and
watched, even though

I know it killed him inside.

And how are you related to Danny, Ben?

He's my brother.

- What?
- (Jury gasps)

Okay, okay, okay. All right.

Calm down, everyone,
It's not that weird.

Riley, I know what you're doing.

You're hurt.

You want to be validated.

I was doing the same thing
pretending to be with Zoey.

Who the hell is Zoey?

Damn, Mrs. Wheeler, you
raised a couple of players!

Riley, you gotta let this one go.

It just isn't worth it.

Riley... please!

Just... forget about
the court and the jury.

Talk to me. I love you.

I'm begging you to forgive me.

I promise I will never
disappoint you again.

Danny... I don't need to
hear the jury's decision.

(crying)

Because every time I
look at you now, I just...

I picture you and Sam together.

You lied to me,

and you broke my heart.

Riley.

Oh... honey. It's gonna be okay, okay?

Come here.

This was fun.

I'm gonna bring my
ex-husband in here next week!

So, basically, Zoey's gonna
live happily ever after with Aaron.

And I am gonna do everything I can

to convince Sam to go on a play-date...

in my bed. Without clothes.

Ahh, um... how long have you been
standing there?

Long enough to tell you
that's never happening again.

You couldn't have given me a heads up?

You think I still have a shot?

No way, Jose.

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