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1
00:00:00,556 --> 00:00:01,797
Ben: Okay, Emma...
2
00:00:01,897 --> 00:00:03,631
we were officially late 20 minutes ago,
3
00:00:03,666 --> 00:00:05,483
so if we could skip today's game
4
00:00:05,518 --> 00:00:07,535
of socks on, socks off,
that would be great.
5
00:00:09,438 --> 00:00:11,489
Oh, and remember, we
have yet another exciting
6
00:00:11,524 --> 00:00:12,841
preschool interview after daycare.
7
00:00:12,892 --> 00:00:14,859
If they ask you what you consider
8
00:00:14,894 --> 00:00:17,812
to be your greatest weakness,
smile and look confident.
9
00:00:17,847 --> 00:00:20,582
It's not an answer,
but it confuses people.
10
00:00:23,652 --> 00:00:25,553
I'm not gonna lie,
kind of looking forward
11
00:00:25,604 --> 00:00:27,655
to you being someone else's
problem for the next five hours.
12
00:00:27,706 --> 00:00:29,457
Momma.
13
00:00:29,492 --> 00:00:31,559
(chuckles) Thankfully, she's
not our problem anymore.
14
00:00:31,561 --> 00:00:32,627
Momma.
15
00:00:32,661 --> 00:00:34,462
No, sweetheart.
Not your...
16
00:00:34,513 --> 00:00:35,864
- (music plays from TV)
- Hey, that really is your Momma.
17
00:00:39,935 --> 00:00:41,736
Freeze, dirtbag!
18
00:00:41,787 --> 00:00:43,772
Your worst nightmare is here.
19
00:00:46,792 --> 00:00:49,744
She got the "nightmare" part right.
20
00:00:49,779 --> 00:00:50,779
I'm so late. Okay.
21
00:00:50,781 --> 00:00:51,830
All right, let's go.
22
00:00:51,864 --> 00:00:53,832
Hey, let's do that thing
that we did last week
23
00:00:53,866 --> 00:00:56,668
with the cops and get
an escort again. Yeah.
24
00:00:56,702 --> 00:00:58,837
(theme music playing)
25
00:00:58,871 --> 00:01:01,773
It's amazing how the unexpected
26
00:01:01,807 --> 00:01:05,516
Can take your life
and change directions
27
00:01:05,616 --> 00:01:08,902
- Sync and corrected by TheDelta -
- www.addic7ed.com -
28
00:01:09,598 --> 00:01:10,732
Okay, people!
29
00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:12,684
Get your asses in gear!
30
00:01:12,735 --> 00:01:14,819
Your new manager is here!
31
00:01:14,854 --> 00:01:18,740
Bar on B is officially my bitch!
32
00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:21,659
Hey, Mom? Remember when I said,
33
00:01:21,694 --> 00:01:22,911
"Don't get carried away.
34
00:01:22,945 --> 00:01:24,746
"I just need you to fill in
for Sam while she's out of town
35
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:25,747
for a few days"?
36
00:01:25,781 --> 00:01:26,781
What's your point?
37
00:01:26,783 --> 00:01:29,667
This is carried away.
38
00:01:29,702 --> 00:01:30,835
Ugh, well I don't even know
39
00:01:30,870 --> 00:01:32,787
why you hired her in the first place.
40
00:01:32,838 --> 00:01:35,790
If you're gonna hire just
any old, unqualified floozy,
41
00:01:35,841 --> 00:01:37,792
you should have hired me.
42
00:01:37,794 --> 00:01:39,627
Sam's doing just fine.
43
00:01:39,678 --> 00:01:40,795
Oh. Oh, really?
44
00:01:40,797 --> 00:01:43,765
Because this place
looks pretty dead to me.
45
00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:44,799
We're not open yet.
46
00:01:44,850 --> 00:01:47,802
Look, honey, I know that
you think business is fine,
47
00:01:47,804 --> 00:01:49,854
but I'm here to tell you,
it could be even better.
48
00:01:49,889 --> 00:01:52,807
Look, let me help you. Please?
49
00:01:52,809 --> 00:01:54,776
You won't recognize this
place when I'm done with it.
50
00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:56,811
Oh, my God. Mom, no.
51
00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:00,698
Nice try.
52
00:02:00,733 --> 00:02:01,816
You put that away right now.
53
00:02:01,818 --> 00:02:03,618
You put it away.
54
00:02:03,652 --> 00:02:04,702
I don't want to see that again.
55
00:02:06,655 --> 00:02:07,822
- (beep)
- And blog posted.
56
00:02:07,824 --> 00:02:09,657
Take that, Mary Hart.
57
00:02:09,659 --> 00:02:11,659
You fire the Tucker,
you're gonna get Tuckinated!
58
00:02:13,662 --> 00:02:17,582
How courageous of you to
finally confront Mary Hart
59
00:02:17,633 --> 00:02:18,716
Behind a laptop.
60
00:02:18,751 --> 00:02:20,635
Using a fake name.
61
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:22,720
I don't know, Tuck.
62
00:02:22,755 --> 00:02:24,639
I think you're playing with fire.
63
00:02:24,673 --> 00:02:25,673
I mean, really,
64
00:02:25,675 --> 00:02:27,592
Mary Hart might set you on fire.
65
00:02:28,677 --> 00:02:29,677
Or sue you.
66
00:02:29,728 --> 00:02:30,845
Man, she can't sue me.
67
00:02:30,847 --> 00:02:32,680
I didn't even use her real name.
68
00:02:34,650 --> 00:02:35,700
Hey, is that Angela?
69
00:02:35,734 --> 00:02:36,668
Hey, Ben.
70
00:02:38,571 --> 00:02:39,721
- (clattering)
- Angela! Hi.
71
00:02:39,772 --> 00:02:41,706
What are you... what are you doing here?
72
00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:44,692
Did someone forget to
lock the gates of hell?
73
00:02:44,727 --> 00:02:46,494
Ben, please.
74
00:02:46,496 --> 00:02:48,413
I know I've made some mistakes,
75
00:02:48,464 --> 00:02:50,515
but can I please just see Emma?
76
00:02:50,566 --> 00:02:52,417
- Sure.
- Really?
77
00:02:52,468 --> 00:02:53,801
Yeah.
78
00:02:53,852 --> 00:02:54,903
Here she is.
79
00:02:54,937 --> 00:02:56,421
(sighs)
80
00:02:56,455 --> 00:02:57,889
Walking, talking.
81
00:02:57,940 --> 00:02:59,824
It's amazing how much they grow
when you're busy abandoning them.
82
00:02:59,858 --> 00:03:02,694
Well, can I at least help with expenses?
83
00:03:02,728 --> 00:03:04,579
I'm making really good money now.
84
00:03:04,581 --> 00:03:05,747
I have a hit TV show.
85
00:03:05,781 --> 00:03:07,649
I've seen it. Let's
not get carried away.
86
00:03:09,702 --> 00:03:11,519
We don't need your help.
87
00:03:11,521 --> 00:03:12,520
I own a bar.
88
00:03:12,554 --> 00:03:14,389
It looks pretty dead in here to me.
89
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:15,473
We're not open yet!
90
00:03:22,848 --> 00:03:24,449
Mary Hart's out to get me.
91
00:03:24,483 --> 00:03:26,451
- Are you sure?
- Yeah. I'm sure, okay?
92
00:03:26,502 --> 00:03:27,869
Last night, my bathrobe went missing
93
00:03:27,871 --> 00:03:30,805
and now the mail's been torn in half.
94
00:03:30,807 --> 00:03:31,823
So?
95
00:03:31,857 --> 00:03:32,840
The mailman hates you
96
00:03:32,875 --> 00:03:34,676
and you never wash your bathrobe,
97
00:03:34,678 --> 00:03:35,843
so it probably killed itself.
98
00:03:35,878 --> 00:03:38,663
Um, I'm clean when I put it on,
99
00:03:38,697 --> 00:03:39,731
so it don't need to be washed.
100
00:03:41,583 --> 00:03:43,551
Dude, Mary's trying
to send me a message.
101
00:03:43,585 --> 00:03:45,603
- (knocking)
- Oh, my God! She's gonna kill me!
102
00:03:47,623 --> 00:03:49,440
Dude, calm down.
103
00:03:49,475 --> 00:03:51,409
If Mary really were here to kill you,
104
00:03:51,443 --> 00:03:52,493
she probably wouldn't knock.
105
00:03:55,914 --> 00:03:57,465
Um...
106
00:03:57,516 --> 00:03:58,466
What is it, man?
107
00:03:58,517 --> 00:03:59,901
Hey, is it a head?
108
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:01,369
Come on! It's a head, right?
109
00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:03,671
I know it's a head! It's always a head!
110
00:04:03,673 --> 00:04:04,822
Nope, not a head.
111
00:04:04,857 --> 00:04:06,724
And I don't know if
she's out to kill you,
112
00:04:06,759 --> 00:04:09,560
but she definitely had
it in for your robe.
113
00:04:13,649 --> 00:04:15,583
We had such good times together.
114
00:04:17,653 --> 00:04:19,637
God, I don't know why I'm so nervous.
115
00:04:19,672 --> 00:04:22,473
It's not like they're
deciding if they like me.
116
00:04:22,508 --> 00:04:24,859
Wait, are they deciding if they like me?
117
00:04:24,861 --> 00:04:27,378
Relax, all right? It's just preschool.
118
00:04:27,429 --> 00:04:30,398
I mean, it doesn't define
Emma's future or anything.
119
00:04:30,449 --> 00:04:31,799
- Did you go to preschool?
- Oh, my God. Yes.
120
00:04:31,834 --> 00:04:33,768
Best in the state. I mean,
why do you think I'm a lawyer?
121
00:04:34,903 --> 00:04:36,421
I am so sorry.
122
00:04:36,455 --> 00:04:38,806
Just relax, okay?
123
00:04:38,857 --> 00:04:41,843
- Well, hello there.
- Ben and Riley: Hi.
124
00:04:41,877 --> 00:04:43,728
Hi, I'm Riley,
125
00:04:43,762 --> 00:04:45,663
this little angel's Godmother.
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00:04:45,698 --> 00:04:47,548
Just another member of Team Emma.
127
00:04:47,599 --> 00:04:49,550
We have T-shirts.
128
00:04:49,585 --> 00:04:51,619
(chuckles) So where do we
sign and when do we start?
129
00:04:51,621 --> 00:04:54,439
Well, aren't you both darling?
130
00:04:54,473 --> 00:04:56,591
But I'm so, so, so sorry to tell you,
131
00:04:56,593 --> 00:04:59,844
Emma didn't pass the entrance exam.
132
00:05:02,398 --> 00:05:03,748
Entrance exam?
133
00:05:03,782 --> 00:05:06,350
She can't even say "entrance exam."
134
00:05:06,402 --> 00:05:07,785
She's two.
135
00:05:07,836 --> 00:05:10,688
Regardless, she failed.
136
00:05:11,740 --> 00:05:13,758
Emma's exceptionally headstrong
137
00:05:13,792 --> 00:05:16,494
and not a real fan of authority.
138
00:05:16,545 --> 00:05:19,480
She also doesn't like to share,
and while I can't prove it,
139
00:05:19,515 --> 00:05:21,616
I'm quite certain she threw
a ball at the back of my head
140
00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:24,368
when I turned around.
141
00:05:24,420 --> 00:05:26,454
So, it was lovely to meet you,
142
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:27,839
but I'm late for another meeting.
143
00:05:30,442 --> 00:05:32,427
- Oh, God. No!
- No! Riley just let me...
144
00:05:33,495 --> 00:05:34,445
Ben: What am I gonna do?
145
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,748
We're out of preschools
and you know why?
146
00:05:36,799 --> 00:05:38,399
She's exactly like me.
147
00:05:38,434 --> 00:05:40,368
I'm not ready to raise a me.
148
00:05:40,419 --> 00:05:41,702
It was hard enough to grow up a me.
149
00:05:41,754 --> 00:05:42,770
Okay, stop, all right?
150
00:05:42,805 --> 00:05:44,589
We will figure something out.
151
00:05:44,623 --> 00:05:45,740
You're not a total failure. Look.
152
00:05:45,791 --> 00:05:48,576
You own a lovely business.
153
00:05:48,610 --> 00:05:49,610
Oh!
154
00:05:50,746 --> 00:05:52,463
Bonnie: Hey, hey!
155
00:05:52,498 --> 00:05:55,450
Now that we know what she's
got, we can turn her down a bit.
156
00:05:55,501 --> 00:05:57,452
What the hell is going on?
157
00:05:57,486 --> 00:05:58,519
Well...
158
00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:00,488
I was gonna surprise you!
159
00:06:00,539 --> 00:06:03,474
It's part of our new
Country Western Night!
160
00:06:03,509 --> 00:06:05,493
You like chicken? We got chicken.
161
00:06:05,527 --> 00:06:07,328
You like beer? We got beer!
162
00:06:07,379 --> 00:06:09,764
You like corn bread? We got corn bread!
163
00:06:09,815 --> 00:06:12,366
Man, now I want corn bread.
164
00:06:12,401 --> 00:06:13,718
Cut the bull, okay?
165
00:06:13,769 --> 00:06:14,769
Someone's gonna get killed.
166
00:06:14,803 --> 00:06:17,755
Ooh, killing someone.
167
00:06:17,790 --> 00:06:18,790
I like that part.
168
00:06:18,824 --> 00:06:20,775
Murder Mystery Night!
169
00:06:20,809 --> 00:06:22,743
I can hang a body in the bathroom stall.
170
00:06:24,563 --> 00:06:26,531
Not a real body.
171
00:06:26,582 --> 00:06:27,548
Unless...
172
00:06:30,569 --> 00:06:31,569
Hey, Hank.
173
00:06:31,603 --> 00:06:33,471
I'm sorry about that.
174
00:06:33,505 --> 00:06:35,857
I thought the knob went the other way.
175
00:06:35,891 --> 00:06:36,824
Anyway...
176
00:06:42,464 --> 00:06:43,781
Perfect.
177
00:06:43,816 --> 00:06:44,866
No! Come on!
178
00:06:46,752 --> 00:06:47,802
Hey, Tuck.
179
00:06:47,804 --> 00:06:50,671
Probably not the best
place to leave all this.
180
00:06:50,706 --> 00:06:52,607
I'm trying to keep out the devil!
181
00:06:52,641 --> 00:06:54,709
Don't worry, Mom's pretty
busy at the bar right now.
182
00:06:54,743 --> 00:06:56,544
No. Mary.
183
00:06:56,595 --> 00:06:57,645
She's out for blood.
184
00:06:57,696 --> 00:06:59,497
Type O Tuckative.
185
00:06:59,548 --> 00:07:00,565
(phone rings)
186
00:07:00,599 --> 00:07:02,517
Oh, my God.
187
00:07:02,551 --> 00:07:04,335
- Is that the phone?
- (Ringing continues)
188
00:07:04,369 --> 00:07:05,353
The phone never rings!
189
00:07:05,387 --> 00:07:06,470
Yeah, man, well, it does now.
190
00:07:06,522 --> 00:07:07,522
That's her!
191
00:07:07,556 --> 00:07:09,790
And every time I
answer it, a voice says,
192
00:07:09,825 --> 00:07:10,808
"I'm watching you, Tucker."
193
00:07:10,843 --> 00:07:12,360
And the scariest part is
194
00:07:12,411 --> 00:07:13,744
this thing wasn't even working!
195
00:07:13,795 --> 00:07:16,681
So... so she went through
the trouble of signing us up,
196
00:07:16,732 --> 00:07:18,399
and choosing a carrier,
and getting it turned on.
197
00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:19,834
- I mean, who has got that kind of time?!
- (Ringing continues)
198
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:22,820
Hey, you know what you need?
199
00:07:22,871 --> 00:07:24,705
Someone to protect you.
200
00:07:24,756 --> 00:07:26,641
Someone who won't back down
201
00:07:26,643 --> 00:07:28,576
when trouble rears its ugly head.
202
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:29,694
This is my moment, Tucker.
203
00:07:29,728 --> 00:07:30,678
Let me help you.
204
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,631
You know you're not a real superhero.
205
00:07:33,665 --> 00:07:34,582
I know.
206
00:07:34,633 --> 00:07:36,484
You're gonna go get
your cape, aren't you?
207
00:07:36,518 --> 00:07:37,518
No, man. I'm just...
208
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:38,603
- Just go get it, man.
- Yes!
209
00:07:41,423 --> 00:07:41,856
(elevator dings)
210
00:07:43,475 --> 00:07:44,458
Angela, hey! Um...
211
00:07:44,509 --> 00:07:46,494
Ben's not home and he hates you,
212
00:07:46,528 --> 00:07:47,862
so even if he was home...
213
00:07:47,864 --> 00:07:49,714
Well, you get it.
214
00:07:50,933 --> 00:07:53,701
Riley, I know I'm not the most
popular person around here,
215
00:07:53,752 --> 00:07:56,654
but don't you think every
little girl should know her mom?
216
00:07:56,688 --> 00:07:57,705
I don't know.
217
00:07:57,707 --> 00:08:00,524
I have two, and one's
weird, and one's awful,
218
00:08:00,559 --> 00:08:03,511
and I turned out just fine... ish.
219
00:08:03,545 --> 00:08:04,512
Sort of.
220
00:08:04,514 --> 00:08:06,530
I'm not sad at all.
221
00:08:06,565 --> 00:08:07,582
Besides, the only thing
222
00:08:07,616 --> 00:08:10,318
Emma needs right now
is a decent preschool.
223
00:08:10,369 --> 00:08:12,370
Oh, my God, I can
totally help with that.
224
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:14,338
I went to the best one in the city.
225
00:08:14,373 --> 00:08:16,490
They love me at Belcrest.
226
00:08:16,525 --> 00:08:19,460
I'll put in a good word
for Ben if you convince him
227
00:08:19,494 --> 00:08:21,796
to let me spend one afternoon with Emma.
228
00:08:22,848 --> 00:08:23,814
- I don't know.
- Come on, Riley.
229
00:08:23,849 --> 00:08:25,716
He listens to you.
230
00:08:25,751 --> 00:08:28,586
You're smart, you're successful.
231
00:08:28,620 --> 00:08:30,655
Obviously, he'll always
be in love with you.
232
00:08:30,706 --> 00:08:32,740
Well, that's all true, but...
233
00:08:32,774 --> 00:08:34,609
(sighs) Oh, God.
234
00:08:34,643 --> 00:08:36,711
I guess I will help you.
235
00:08:36,745 --> 00:08:38,562
- Oh!
- For Emma, okay?
236
00:08:38,597 --> 00:08:39,647
Oh. Oh, we're friends now.
237
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:42,433
I'll talk to Ben.
238
00:08:45,570 --> 00:08:46,520
(door closes)
239
00:08:49,391 --> 00:08:50,374
Good news.
240
00:08:50,409 --> 00:08:52,426
Emma and I are all set for tomorrow.
241
00:08:57,274 --> 00:08:59,073
Ben: Ugh, for the last time, no!
242
00:08:59,173 --> 00:09:00,139
Angela's not gonna see Emma.
243
00:09:00,190 --> 00:09:02,058
I don't wanna talk
about it anymore, okay?
244
00:09:02,092 --> 00:09:03,009
Okay!
245
00:09:04,128 --> 00:09:06,896
But she is Emma's biological mother,
246
00:09:06,930 --> 00:09:08,081
and if she wanted to...
Whoa. Sorry.
247
00:09:11,068 --> 00:09:13,836
It wouldn't make you
any less of a father
248
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:14,937
if you just... Sorry.
249
00:09:18,008 --> 00:09:21,828
I just wish I got to know
my real mom before... Okay.
250
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:26,232
You really think it's good for Emma?
251
00:09:26,234 --> 00:09:27,216
I do.
252
00:09:27,251 --> 00:09:29,268
I do. People make mistakes.
253
00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:31,804
And... and plus...
254
00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:34,173
she said she could
get Emma into Belcrest.
255
00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:35,241
Really?
256
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,043
Belcrest?
257
00:09:37,045 --> 00:09:39,979
I hear they leave a chocolate
on each pillow for nap time.
258
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,033
And if it makes you feel any better,
259
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:47,003
okay, I will make sure
absolutely nothing goes wrong.
260
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:51,791
I will be the consummate
professional Emma-Momma-Watcher.
261
00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:52,842
Okay.
262
00:09:53,944 --> 00:09:56,212
Wait. Where'd you leave Emma?
263
00:09:56,246 --> 00:09:57,814
I'll be right back.
264
00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:00,199
Emma?
265
00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:06,255
- Hey, Mom.
- Hey, Ben.
266
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,241
Ben! Benji, hey.
267
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,109
Hey, sweetie.
268
00:10:10,111 --> 00:10:12,178
What are you doing here
in the middle of the day?
269
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,063
Shouldn't you be at work?
270
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,998
I am.
271
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,034
Plus, Riley convinced
me to let Angela see Emma
272
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:19,952
for an hour and I want to
be gone when it happens.
273
00:10:20,003 --> 00:10:21,137
Angela?
274
00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:24,841
You left your child with the
woman who left your child?
275
00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:26,909
Wait. Why are there
so many women in here?
276
00:10:26,944 --> 00:10:27,944
(scoffs)
277
00:10:27,978 --> 00:10:30,296
I packed this place
to the gills with women
278
00:10:30,347 --> 00:10:32,231
and you're questioning me?!
279
00:10:32,233 --> 00:10:33,232
All right, that is it.
280
00:10:33,283 --> 00:10:34,283
You are out of here!
281
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:37,270
Okay, when did we hire new bartenders?
282
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,205
(ringing)
283
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,290
Ladies, Happy Hour has just begun.
284
00:10:41,325 --> 00:10:44,043
Let's get ripped!
285
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,127
- (dance music playing)
- (Women cheer)
286
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,925
- Hi.
- Mom!
287
00:10:58,927 --> 00:10:59,892
- What?
- No!
288
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,277
Oh, Ben, come on! Please?
289
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,829
Can I keep him?
290
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,231
Look, I promise they won't eat a lot.
291
00:11:05,282 --> 00:11:06,866
I'll walk them twice a day,
292
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,301
and they can sleep in my bed!
293
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,270
Then the princess says,
294
00:11:11,321 --> 00:11:14,273
"Freeze or I'll drop you
like a knockoff handbag!"
295
00:11:16,126 --> 00:11:17,176
That's something I pitched.
296
00:11:17,178 --> 00:11:19,045
I basically write all my own lines.
297
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,180
Wow.
298
00:11:21,182 --> 00:11:23,132
What a charming, uplifting story
299
00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:24,967
for a child of two.
300
00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:28,871
You're just gonna stand there
301
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:30,022
and watch me play with
Emma the whole time?
302
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:31,908
Well, I did promise Ben, so...
303
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:34,260
And I promise you nothing will go wrong.
304
00:11:34,311 --> 00:11:35,895
(groans) Okay, fine.
305
00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:38,281
I will be across the
hall in my apartment
306
00:11:38,332 --> 00:11:40,299
where I can be reached
if you need anything.
307
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:42,134
Okay? Anything at all.
308
00:11:43,237 --> 00:11:45,254
(door opens, closes)
309
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,156
Finally.
310
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:48,241
Wanna make some new friends?
311
00:11:50,093 --> 00:11:51,143
Yeah, you do.
312
00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,079
Okay, you ladies ready for this?
313
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:56,032
We sure are. Right, baby girl?
314
00:11:56,066 --> 00:11:58,951
So, this is Jess Cagle
of People Magazine here
315
00:11:59,002 --> 00:12:01,921
with Angela Davidson, the
star of TV's Cop Girl.
316
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,890
Uh, TV's newest hit, Cop Girl.
317
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:04,974
Yeah, I've seen the show.
318
00:12:05,008 --> 00:12:05,975
Let's not go crazy.
319
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:10,930
So Angela, what People
readers really want to know is
320
00:12:10,932 --> 00:12:13,883
what is it like juggling
a successful acting career
321
00:12:13,917 --> 00:12:16,218
and raising this little
girl all on your own?
322
00:12:16,270 --> 00:12:18,120
Oh, well, starring in a show is great,
323
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:21,140
but being a mom is the
greatest role I've ever had.
324
00:12:24,261 --> 00:12:26,045
(chuckles)
325
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,064
Angela: I can't believe I'm
gonna be in People Magazine.
326
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:31,133
Thank you again for sharing
your incredible story.
327
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,986
You are an inspiration
to women everywhere
328
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,087
who are raising a baby on their own
329
00:12:35,138 --> 00:12:36,939
- and starring in a TV show.
- (Elevator dings)
330
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:39,041
Jess: It's a small demographic, I know.
331
00:12:39,076 --> 00:12:41,277
But who says you can't have it all?
332
00:12:41,311 --> 00:12:44,213
Oh, and I hope you get
even with that deadbeat dad.
333
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:47,316
"Deadbeat dad"?
334
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,336
Emma, cover your ears, sweetie,
335
00:12:50,338 --> 00:12:52,271
'cause Aunt Riley is about
to kick your mom's ass.
336
00:13:00,443 --> 00:13:01,577
I cannot believe that you lied to me!
337
00:13:01,628 --> 00:13:03,412
All you wanted Emma for
338
00:13:03,414 --> 00:13:04,513
was some stupid interview?!
339
00:13:04,547 --> 00:13:06,448
I honestly didn't know what to do.
340
00:13:06,483 --> 00:13:08,367
I told my agent about Emma
341
00:13:08,401 --> 00:13:09,501
and she told the show's publicist,
342
00:13:09,536 --> 00:13:11,470
and before I could stop it,
343
00:13:11,504 --> 00:13:13,322
- here we are.
- Oh, where?
344
00:13:13,356 --> 00:13:15,424
On the corner of You're
a Bitch and You're a Liar?
345
00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:18,360
Oh, my God. "Deadbeat
dad"? "Single mother"?
346
00:13:18,395 --> 00:13:20,362
I'll try to straighten it out, I swear.
347
00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:22,331
Okay, the only swearing
348
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:24,716
will be from Ben when he
hears what you have done.
349
00:13:24,768 --> 00:13:26,652
Do you really think you should tell him?
350
00:13:26,703 --> 00:13:29,638
I... I mean, I know how important
this whole preschool thing is.
351
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,291
Plus, this was kind of your idea.
352
00:13:32,325 --> 00:13:33,709
Oh, whoa.
353
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,527
- Okay.
- (Door opens)
354
00:13:35,562 --> 00:13:38,414
So, you're saying that Ben
is gonna blame me for this?
355
00:13:38,465 --> 00:13:40,349
- Blame you for what?
- Nothing.
356
00:13:41,534 --> 00:13:44,386
We... we were just
talking about Emma.
357
00:13:44,421 --> 00:13:45,387
Everything go okay?
358
00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:46,488
It went great.
359
00:13:46,490 --> 00:13:49,458
I'll call the school
and put in a good word.
360
00:13:49,492 --> 00:13:52,761
Hey, thank you for convincing
me to let Angela see Emma.
361
00:13:52,796 --> 00:13:55,314
At least now, I don't have to worry
about her getting into a good school.
362
00:13:55,348 --> 00:13:56,732
- Angela owes me that.
- (Laughs nervously)
363
00:13:56,766 --> 00:13:59,301
Oh... you're welcome.
364
00:13:59,335 --> 00:14:01,687
Just, you know, looking
out for the family.
365
00:14:01,721 --> 00:14:05,541
Hey, unrelated, you don't
read People Magazine, right?
366
00:14:09,562 --> 00:14:10,479
Okay, little buddy.
367
00:14:10,530 --> 00:14:11,580
I think we're safe.
368
00:14:11,614 --> 00:14:14,433
Coast is clear. No
Mary. I repeat. No Mary.
369
00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:15,451
Okay.
370
00:14:18,588 --> 00:14:20,472
(gasping)
371
00:14:20,507 --> 00:14:22,357
Man, you need to wash that thing.
372
00:14:22,408 --> 00:14:25,294
And it would have been nice if
you took your skates out first.
373
00:14:28,281 --> 00:14:29,281
(Tucker screams)
374
00:14:29,332 --> 00:14:31,300
What is it? Is it a spider?
375
00:14:31,334 --> 00:14:32,351
'Cause I don't do spiders.
376
00:14:32,385 --> 00:14:33,368
No!
377
00:14:33,403 --> 00:14:34,369
Look, man. It's me!
378
00:14:34,371 --> 00:14:36,271
This is where she's gonna kill me!
379
00:14:39,676 --> 00:14:41,610
See? It fits me perfectly!
380
00:14:43,530 --> 00:14:44,463
It's over.
381
00:14:44,514 --> 00:14:46,431
She wins. I am done writing about her.
382
00:14:46,483 --> 00:14:47,483
- Never again.
- What?
383
00:14:47,517 --> 00:14:48,450
No!
384
00:14:48,501 --> 00:14:50,498
You can't let her kill your dreams!
385
00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:52,940
Wait. What are your dreams?
386
00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:56,894
To be the world's greatest
entertainment reporter.
387
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:57,895
Yeah, that!
388
00:14:57,946 --> 00:14:59,030
You can't let her kill that.
389
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,931
Don't you understand, Tucker?
390
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:03,734
Dreams are all we have.
391
00:15:03,785 --> 00:15:06,220
Dreams are what we're made of.
392
00:15:06,254 --> 00:15:09,173
They course through
every vein in our body.
393
00:15:09,207 --> 00:15:12,159
The minute you give up, evil wins.
394
00:15:14,796 --> 00:15:16,063
You know what?
395
00:15:16,098 --> 00:15:17,198
Dude, you're right.
396
00:15:17,232 --> 00:15:19,200
I'm done letting her walk all over me.
397
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,217
This time, I'm fighting back.
398
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:23,154
This time, I'm using her real name.
399
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,908
(elevator dings)
400
00:15:27,943 --> 00:15:29,877
Oh, my God. Mrs. Wheeler, I need you.
401
00:15:29,911 --> 00:15:31,896
And I need wine. Is Ben home?
402
00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:33,030
That's what I need your help with.
403
00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:35,266
Good luck. He is zero fun.
404
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:36,801
So not my kid.
405
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:38,235
God, he's going to be so mad.
406
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:39,787
Well, he won't be mad if I can
407
00:15:39,838 --> 00:15:41,889
just show him that I
know what I'm doing.
408
00:15:41,923 --> 00:15:44,225
If I could just show
him how awful she is
409
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:45,276
without getting blamed.
410
00:15:45,327 --> 00:15:47,828
I mean, who knew that she
was such a good actress?
411
00:15:47,879 --> 00:15:49,263
An actress! Yes!
412
00:15:49,314 --> 00:15:51,282
A celebrity would get us some publicity!
413
00:15:51,316 --> 00:15:53,250
Oh, my God, yes! Someone
to publicly expose her!
414
00:15:53,301 --> 00:15:55,152
That is a great idea!
415
00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:57,221
Ugh, I wish Tucker still
worked for Mary Hart.
416
00:15:57,255 --> 00:15:59,090
Mary Hart!
417
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,041
Mm! If she came to the bar,
418
00:16:01,076 --> 00:16:02,126
that would make everything perfect!
419
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,011
- You think?
- Of course!
420
00:16:04,062 --> 00:16:06,030
- But she hates me.
- Well, I could get her there.
421
00:16:06,064 --> 00:16:07,998
Oh, my God, this is gonna be so great.
422
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,850
She is so going down!
423
00:16:09,901 --> 00:16:11,986
I'm not sure what you have
against Mary, but okay!
424
00:16:14,973 --> 00:16:16,791
We'll be ready to roll
in two minutes, Mary.
425
00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:19,794
Great work getting Mary here.
426
00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:23,114
Wait, wait. Is that Angela?
427
00:16:23,165 --> 00:16:26,100
Oh, I'd like to give
her a piece of my mind
428
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,202
and her ass a piece of my foot.
429
00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:30,421
I'm gonna go over there.
I'm just gonna give her...
430
00:16:30,447 --> 00:16:31,088
Oh, my God.
431
00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:34,024
Hey, hey, hey, hey! If you could
please wait until after the interview?
432
00:16:34,075 --> 00:16:36,010
Right. Good thinking.
433
00:16:36,044 --> 00:16:38,913
- Two celebs having lunch together.
- (Shutter clicks)
434
00:16:38,947 --> 00:16:40,047
I guess I can hate her later.
435
00:16:41,933 --> 00:16:42,983
Mary: So, Angela...
436
00:16:43,018 --> 00:16:45,886
what is it like juggling
a career with motherhood?
437
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,855
I tried it once for about a month,
438
00:16:47,889 --> 00:16:48,956
but so not me.
439
00:16:48,990 --> 00:16:51,892
Luckily, my cousin always
wanted a baby, so she...
440
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:54,879
Oh, I... I thought we were just
gonna talk about my show, Cop Girl.
441
00:16:54,913 --> 00:16:56,046
We will.
442
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:58,833
But I really want to hear
about your life with Emma,
443
00:16:58,867 --> 00:17:01,051
who you are raising all by yourself.
444
00:17:01,102 --> 00:17:02,186
Yes, exactly.
445
00:17:02,237 --> 00:17:05,039
- Uh, but on the show, I...
- Well, funny thing.
446
00:17:05,090 --> 00:17:07,024
According to these papers,
447
00:17:07,058 --> 00:17:09,193
you relinquished all
rights to your daughter
448
00:17:09,227 --> 00:17:11,078
when she was only three months old.
449
00:17:11,129 --> 00:17:13,063
Oh. Well, I can explain. Um...
450
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:15,916
I doubt it, but I'm
dying to hear you try.
451
00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:18,903
What's all that about?
452
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:19,987
Ben! Hi! Hi!
453
00:17:20,038 --> 00:17:21,805
Uh, what... what
are you doing here?
454
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:22,973
Again, I own the bar.
455
00:17:23,024 --> 00:17:24,742
What's going on?
456
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:25,876
Oh, my God. Oh, God.
457
00:17:25,927 --> 00:17:28,229
Please don't be mad at me,
but, um, Angela tricked me
458
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,947
and did an interview with a magazine
459
00:17:29,981 --> 00:17:31,799
and lied about being a single mom,
460
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,217
and it's totally all my fault.
461
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,768
But... but I fixed it
462
00:17:34,819 --> 00:17:36,253
because I convinced Mary to
come down here and expose her
463
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:38,138
so the whole world will know the truth.
464
00:17:38,173 --> 00:17:39,223
But... but she can't
trace it back to me,
465
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,041
so Emma can still get
into that preschool
466
00:17:41,076 --> 00:17:42,159
and everybody wins!
467
00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:44,094
Well, everybody except for Angela.
468
00:17:45,180 --> 00:17:47,064
Oh, my God, Riley! What have you done?
469
00:17:47,115 --> 00:17:48,999
Really?
470
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:51,936
Do you want me to say the
whole thing over again?
471
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:54,004
Please, Mary. You can't air any of this.
472
00:17:54,039 --> 00:17:55,839
This will ruin my career.
473
00:17:55,891 --> 00:17:57,057
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Everybody calm down.
474
00:17:57,108 --> 00:17:59,910
Mary, I think you've been
given some terrible information.
475
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,795
Why do you look familiar?
476
00:18:01,846 --> 00:18:02,830
Are you somebody?
477
00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:03,948
It's so hard to tell these days.
478
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:06,884
I am. I'm Emma's father.
479
00:18:06,935 --> 00:18:09,820
But all you need to know is
that Angela is her wonderful,
480
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:11,855
supportive mother who's been
there since the very beginning.
481
00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:15,109
Well, that's a non-story.
482
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,745
When I find out who crank called
483
00:18:17,779 --> 00:18:20,180
my Gotcha Tip-line,
there will be hell to pay.
484
00:18:20,215 --> 00:18:24,051
Mary, I just want you to know
485
00:18:24,085 --> 00:18:26,987
that your days of trying
to rule this city are over.
486
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:29,023
How did you know I
was running for mayor?
487
00:18:29,057 --> 00:18:30,958
Is that Tucker?
488
00:18:31,009 --> 00:18:32,009
Mary.
489
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:34,912
I read your little
blog post this morning.
490
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:36,914
Oh? Well, there's nothing
you can do about it now.
491
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:37,932
Oh, really?
492
00:18:37,966 --> 00:18:39,950
- Watch me!
- Whoa!
493
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:40,951
- (gasps)
- Oh!
494
00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:41,952
- (gasps)
- (Shutter clicks)
495
00:18:42,003 --> 00:18:42,970
(grunts)
496
00:18:45,941 --> 00:18:46,957
Angela: Thank you for doing that.
497
00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:48,876
I know I don't deserve it.
498
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:50,261
I just got so caught up in the moment,
499
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:52,796
but I would never to
anything to hurt Emma.
500
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:55,149
I promise I'll make sure
she gets into that school.
501
00:18:55,183 --> 00:18:58,085
Thanks, but I'd rather
homeschool Emma in a bar
502
00:18:58,136 --> 00:18:59,253
than send her anywhere
that produced you.
503
00:19:01,072 --> 00:19:02,206
We'll be fine on our
own. We always have been.
504
00:19:07,996 --> 00:19:09,913
Why are you letting
her get away with this?
505
00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:11,148
You need to expose her, Ben.
506
00:19:11,182 --> 00:19:13,067
Look, Angela may have been
the biggest mistake of my life,
507
00:19:13,118 --> 00:19:14,084
but she also gave me
508
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:17,855
the greatest gift of my life: Emma.
509
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,807
And if she's gonna find out
just how much her mother sucks,
510
00:19:19,841 --> 00:19:21,892
then I'd rather her
do it on her own terms.
511
00:19:21,926 --> 00:19:24,828
When she grows up and she
can ask her own questions
512
00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:26,764
and make her own judgments.
513
00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:28,232
She shouldn't have to read about it.
514
00:19:29,901 --> 00:19:31,819
You're an amazing dad.
515
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:34,838
And honestly, if she turns
out anything like you,
516
00:19:34,889 --> 00:19:37,241
she'll be the best girl in the world.
517
00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:39,159
She's lucky to be a Wheeler.
518
00:19:41,129 --> 00:19:42,179
Okay, people!
519
00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:44,181
Let's clear these tables!
520
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,250
The pudding pool is here!
521
00:19:46,284 --> 00:19:48,118
Mom!
522
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,169
All right, fellas!
523
00:19:49,204 --> 00:19:50,788
Let's load her in!
524
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:54,174
Gary, if that's butterscotch,
I'm gonna kick your ass!
525
00:19:54,209 --> 00:19:55,259
Mom!
526
00:19:55,293 --> 00:19:56,260
Mom!
527
00:19:58,546 --> 00:19:59,980
(laughter)
528
00:20:00,249 --> 00:20:03,835
These pictures are gonna bring
in so much business to the bar.
529
00:20:03,837 --> 00:20:07,171
You know, maybe you should
write about Mary for a change
530
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:09,223
in that dumb blog of yours
and stop spending all your time
531
00:20:09,258 --> 00:20:10,224
writing about me.
532
00:20:10,259 --> 00:20:11,309
What are you talking about?
533
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:15,847
Big Blonde Babbler,
wine-aholic, cheats on her taxes.
534
00:20:15,849 --> 00:20:17,849
Why would you say that stuff about me?
535
00:20:17,851 --> 00:20:20,184
Uh, Mom, Tucker's blog
is about Mary Hart.
536
00:20:20,235 --> 00:20:22,153
It's Aunt Shirley's
blog that's about you.
537
00:20:23,272 --> 00:20:24,272
I knew that.
538
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:27,191
Hold up.
539
00:20:27,242 --> 00:20:30,078
Hold up, so you did
all those things to me?
540
00:20:30,112 --> 00:20:31,279
No...
541
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:33,197
No.
542
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:37,118
But I would not wear those
pants for too much longer.
543
00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:40,171
No! What did you...
What did you do?!
544
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:41,205
- Danny, door!
- What did you do?!
545
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:43,257
Danny, door! Door,
Danny! Danny, Danny, door!
546
00:20:43,292 --> 00:20:44,258
Danny, door!
547
00:20:46,128 --> 00:20:47,211
- Are you serious?!
- She's my mom!
548
00:20:47,261 --> 00:20:51,811
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