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1
00:00:03,143 --> 00:00:04,343
Morning, Tuck.
2
00:00:04,378 --> 00:00:05,928
Hey, did you hear that weird
high-pitched shriek last night?
3
00:00:05,963 --> 00:00:07,947
Kind of like a... a cat dying?
4
00:00:07,981 --> 00:00:09,915
Where's my cuddle bear?
5
00:00:09,950 --> 00:00:11,217
Oh, there you are!
6
00:00:11,251 --> 00:00:12,918
That's the one.
7
00:00:12,953 --> 00:00:14,286
Oh. Ben, hi.
8
00:00:14,321 --> 00:00:15,321
I don't suppose you'd believe
9
00:00:15,355 --> 00:00:17,189
I was just down here
borrowing a cup of sugar?
10
00:00:17,224 --> 00:00:18,207
Even though I kind of was.
11
00:00:19,326 --> 00:00:20,259
Just so you know,
12
00:00:20,310 --> 00:00:22,094
I'm not normally the kind of girl
13
00:00:22,096 --> 00:00:23,279
that does this sort of thing,
but ever since my divorce,
14
00:00:23,313 --> 00:00:25,114
I've just been trying
to get out there more.
15
00:00:25,165 --> 00:00:27,099
But ironically, out there is
really just the fourth floor.
16
00:00:27,134 --> 00:00:28,184
I'm so lucky to have my Tuckle-bear.
17
00:00:28,235 --> 00:00:30,036
I would be totally lost without him.
18
00:00:31,171 --> 00:00:33,072
Dude, how do you put up with her voice?
19
00:00:34,975 --> 00:00:35,941
Oh.
20
00:00:37,911 --> 00:00:38,861
I'm sorry, did you say something?
21
00:00:38,895 --> 00:00:39,845
(chortles)
22
00:00:39,896 --> 00:00:41,313
Asked and answered.
23
00:00:41,315 --> 00:00:43,883
So, are you and Sondra dating again?
24
00:00:43,917 --> 00:00:45,251
Dating? Please.
25
00:00:45,285 --> 00:00:47,903
She knocks on the pipes
whenever her ex has the kid
26
00:00:47,938 --> 00:00:51,190
and comes down to be Tucked into bed.
27
00:00:51,224 --> 00:00:53,125
Okay. Good to know.
28
00:00:53,127 --> 00:00:55,094
Is it? No. No, not at all.
29
00:00:55,128 --> 00:00:56,045
(phone rings)
30
00:00:58,165 --> 00:00:59,098
Hello?
31
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,116
Yeah, this is Ben.
32
00:01:01,168 --> 00:01:02,101
What?
33
00:01:02,135 --> 00:01:03,869
Uh, yeah.
34
00:01:03,904 --> 00:01:05,004
Let me see if I can find her. Thanks.
35
00:01:05,055 --> 00:01:06,856
Dude, something's wrong with Riley.
36
00:01:06,890 --> 00:01:07,990
She didn't show up to work today. Here.
37
00:01:08,025 --> 00:01:09,875
Apparently, I'm still
her emergency contact.
38
00:01:12,345 --> 00:01:15,214
Hey, well, if she's
not dead, we need milk.
39
00:01:15,216 --> 00:01:17,133
- (door closes)
- But actually, we need it either way!
40
00:01:19,119 --> 00:01:20,086
Riley? Are you here?
41
00:01:20,137 --> 00:01:21,103
- Whoa! Oh!
- (Yelps)
42
00:01:24,307 --> 00:01:26,192
Oh, good, you're okay.
43
00:01:26,226 --> 00:01:27,226
(theme music playing)
44
00:01:29,146 --> 00:01:31,313
It's amazing how the unexpected
45
00:01:31,364 --> 00:01:35,267
Can take your life
and change directions
46
00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:38,838
- Sync and corrected by TheDelta -
- www.addic7ed.com -
47
00:01:38,938 --> 00:01:41,562
I just don't understand why
you're her emergency contact.
48
00:01:41,662 --> 00:01:43,579
And I just don't understand
why you don't understand
49
00:01:43,614 --> 00:01:44,614
how an alarm clock works!
50
00:01:44,698 --> 00:01:45,698
Oh, my God, I am so late.
51
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:48,618
Dude, it's just an emergency contact.
52
00:01:48,669 --> 00:01:51,587
Calm down. It's not like my
name is tattooed on her ass.
53
00:01:51,622 --> 00:01:52,705
Although it could have been.
54
00:01:52,756 --> 00:01:53,789
We were in a relationship.
55
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,341
Relationship?
56
00:01:55,375 --> 00:01:56,626
That's kind of a stretch, isn't it?
57
00:01:56,677 --> 00:01:57,760
Uh, no. We dated.
58
00:01:57,794 --> 00:01:58,794
So?
59
00:01:58,845 --> 00:02:00,630
She dated a lot of people.
60
00:02:00,681 --> 00:02:02,715
This, this is a relationship.
61
00:02:02,766 --> 00:02:06,552
Oh, so what you're saying is that
what I had with Riley doesn't count?
62
00:02:06,554 --> 00:02:07,603
Yeah, kinda.
63
00:02:07,638 --> 00:02:09,555
Oh, I see what this is.
64
00:02:09,557 --> 00:02:11,274
Yeah, you're just
jealous of what we had.
65
00:02:11,308 --> 00:02:13,643
Oh, so I'm jealous of nothing? Got it.
66
00:02:13,694 --> 00:02:14,727
Now, if you'll excuse me,
67
00:02:14,729 --> 00:02:16,562
I'd like to say goodbye
to my girlfriend.
68
00:02:16,613 --> 00:02:17,647
(door slams shut)
69
00:02:20,317 --> 00:02:22,618
She's probably just in a rush
to change her emergency contact.
70
00:02:24,788 --> 00:02:25,788
Bonnie: "All I can say
71
00:02:25,822 --> 00:02:30,576
is Realtor Bonnie Wheeler
found me my dream home."
72
00:02:30,578 --> 00:02:31,711
There you go, Emma.
73
00:02:31,745 --> 00:02:33,746
Your very first online review.
74
00:02:35,716 --> 00:02:37,583
If this doesn't drum up more listings,
75
00:02:37,634 --> 00:02:39,669
Grandma's gonna need you
to tap dance in a bear suit
76
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,721
while I hand out fliers in Times Square.
77
00:02:43,590 --> 00:02:44,640
Hey, Danny, oh, my gosh.
78
00:02:44,675 --> 00:02:47,593
I have some amazing news.
79
00:02:47,595 --> 00:02:48,644
Okay, get this.
80
00:02:48,679 --> 00:02:50,763
Out of all of the associates,
I was asked to give
81
00:02:50,814 --> 00:02:53,599
the retirement speech
for Bernard Bender,
82
00:02:53,601 --> 00:02:54,767
one of the firm's founding partners!
83
00:02:54,818 --> 00:02:56,686
- That's cool!
- Bigger.
84
00:02:56,737 --> 00:02:58,604
- That's amazing!
- Bigger.
85
00:02:58,655 --> 00:02:59,689
I am so proud of you!
86
00:03:01,575 --> 00:03:02,625
Are you talking about
87
00:03:02,676 --> 00:03:06,429
the legendary real estate
attorney, Bernard Bender?
88
00:03:06,463 --> 00:03:07,430
The King of Condos?
89
00:03:07,464 --> 00:03:08,431
The Crown of Downtown?
90
00:03:08,482 --> 00:03:09,448
The Lord of Slumlords?
91
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:11,467
Where are you going with this?
92
00:03:11,501 --> 00:03:13,502
Oh, my God, if I could
get him as a client...
93
00:03:13,537 --> 00:03:15,288
And we're there. No.
94
00:03:15,322 --> 00:03:16,255
No, no, no, no.
95
00:03:16,306 --> 00:03:17,273
Mrs. Wheeler, please.
96
00:03:17,307 --> 00:03:18,291
He is a sweet,
97
00:03:18,325 --> 00:03:21,260
darling, old man who
occasionally mistakes me
98
00:03:21,311 --> 00:03:22,395
for his daughter...
Put those away!
99
00:03:22,429 --> 00:03:23,362
- Okay, fine!
- All right?
100
00:03:24,364 --> 00:03:25,615
No.
101
00:03:25,649 --> 00:03:27,617
You have to promise me that
you will stay away from him.
102
00:03:27,651 --> 00:03:29,302
(scoffs) What?
103
00:03:29,336 --> 00:03:30,653
I just want to meet him...
104
00:03:30,687 --> 00:03:32,571
shake his wallet... hand!
105
00:03:32,606 --> 00:03:33,706
I mean hand! Totally his hand.
106
00:03:33,708 --> 00:03:35,558
(groans)
107
00:03:35,592 --> 00:03:37,576
Okay, fine.
108
00:03:37,628 --> 00:03:41,480
I promise to stay away from him.
109
00:03:42,499 --> 00:03:43,549
- Good. Thank you.
- Yeah.
110
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,402
All right, I am gonna
go work on my speech.
111
00:03:46,436 --> 00:03:47,486
I will... I'll see
you later, Danny?
112
00:03:47,521 --> 00:03:48,421
Bye!
113
00:03:50,357 --> 00:03:51,324
(door closes)
114
00:03:51,358 --> 00:03:52,341
What?
115
00:03:52,376 --> 00:03:54,393
I'm just trying to
figure out the loophole.
116
00:03:54,395 --> 00:03:57,630
See, you promised to stay away from him,
117
00:03:57,681 --> 00:03:59,782
but you didn't promise that
he'd stay away from you!
118
00:04:01,668 --> 00:04:03,436
Oh, my God, you are my son.
119
00:04:03,487 --> 00:04:04,487
Come here. I'm sorry.
120
00:04:08,675 --> 00:04:10,609
Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben!
121
00:04:10,611 --> 00:04:12,561
We've got a problem.
122
00:04:12,596 --> 00:04:14,363
Is it that my best friend likes
123
00:04:14,398 --> 00:04:16,349
to walk around town
carrying a stuffed bear?
124
00:04:17,401 --> 00:04:19,452
Because I accept you anyway.
125
00:04:19,454 --> 00:04:21,387
- Though I'd rather you get rid of the bear.
- (Scoffs)
126
00:04:21,421 --> 00:04:24,323
No. And this was a gift...
127
00:04:24,325 --> 00:04:25,708
- from Sondra.
- (Click)
128
00:04:25,742 --> 00:04:28,294
Sondra's voice: Happy one
month anniversary, Tuckle-bear!
129
00:04:30,297 --> 00:04:32,565
Dude, she thinks we're dating!
130
00:04:32,599 --> 00:04:34,617
Why would she want to ruin a good thing
131
00:04:34,668 --> 00:04:36,469
with actual feelings?
132
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,537
What am I supposed to do now?
133
00:04:38,572 --> 00:04:39,572
Here's a thought.
134
00:04:39,623 --> 00:04:41,557
Next time she bangs on
the pipes, don't bang back.
135
00:04:42,609 --> 00:04:44,493
Well, what about my pipes?
136
00:04:45,562 --> 00:04:47,413
Hey, Tuck...
137
00:04:47,447 --> 00:04:49,348
you think Riley and I
had something, right?
138
00:04:49,383 --> 00:04:50,349
Really?
139
00:04:50,384 --> 00:04:52,318
We can't have one conversation about me?
140
00:04:53,453 --> 00:04:55,354
It's like Danny wants to
pretend that what I had
141
00:04:55,389 --> 00:04:56,389
with Riley didn't even exist.
142
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,741
Well, I guess I understand that.
143
00:04:58,792 --> 00:05:01,260
It's kind of like when
I gave my cousin my bike,
144
00:05:01,311 --> 00:05:02,695
and he wouldn't even let
me ride it once in a while.
145
00:05:04,681 --> 00:05:06,599
I just know that if
the roles were reversed,
146
00:05:06,650 --> 00:05:08,584
I would have the decency
to be jealous of him.
147
00:05:10,670 --> 00:05:13,406
They are, and you are.
148
00:05:14,474 --> 00:05:16,409
No, I am not! But he will be!
149
00:05:17,544 --> 00:05:19,495
Hey, guys! How's it goin'?
150
00:05:19,529 --> 00:05:21,480
Riles, I just got a text
from Abbey and Steve.
151
00:05:21,482 --> 00:05:21,869
Oh!
152
00:05:21,895 --> 00:05:23,441
Yeah, they were just
saying how much they miss us
153
00:05:23,467 --> 00:05:25,267
at Couples-Only Game Night,
154
00:05:25,318 --> 00:05:26,736
which you only get to
go to if you're a couple.
155
00:05:28,338 --> 00:05:29,688
Well, we should have them over!
156
00:05:29,723 --> 00:05:30,689
I love games!
157
00:05:30,691 --> 00:05:32,341
Oh, my God, how much fun would that be?
158
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:33,759
Ben you have their number, right?
159
00:05:35,695 --> 00:05:36,712
It's in my phone.
160
00:05:36,747 --> 00:05:38,731
(laughter)
161
00:05:38,765 --> 00:05:40,566
- (laughing)
- Oh, my God.
162
00:05:40,617 --> 00:05:42,501
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
163
00:05:42,503 --> 00:05:45,571
And that's why I have
dual citizenship in Guam!
164
00:05:45,622 --> 00:05:46,555
So...
165
00:05:48,558 --> 00:05:50,409
Mrs. Wheeler.
166
00:05:50,460 --> 00:05:52,344
Mr. Bender, hi.
167
00:05:52,379 --> 00:05:54,363
What an odd,
why-am-I-not-surprised surprise.
168
00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:55,414
What are you doing here?
169
00:05:55,416 --> 00:05:56,749
Oh, it's a funny story.
170
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:57,733
Do you wanna tell it?
171
00:05:57,768 --> 00:05:59,318
- Eh.
- Okay, yeah, I'll tell it.
172
00:06:01,388 --> 00:06:03,656
So I came by to meet you for lunch...
173
00:06:03,658 --> 00:06:04,623
We weren't having lunch.
174
00:06:04,674 --> 00:06:06,258
I know. I forgot to invite you.
175
00:06:06,309 --> 00:06:08,544
And on my way out,
176
00:06:08,578 --> 00:06:10,629
Bendy here practically ran me over,
177
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,648
and somehow, I ended up in his lap.
178
00:06:12,699 --> 00:06:14,550
Well, you know, one
thing led to another,
179
00:06:14,584 --> 00:06:16,602
and he insisted on
taking me out to lunch,
180
00:06:16,653 --> 00:06:18,354
so, well, here we are.
181
00:06:19,473 --> 00:06:20,422
So you kidnapped him.
182
00:06:21,525 --> 00:06:23,459
Isn't she hilarious?
183
00:06:23,493 --> 00:06:25,294
(louder) She's hilarious!
184
00:06:25,328 --> 00:06:26,445
Ha!
185
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,297
(wheezes, coughs)
186
00:06:31,318 --> 00:06:32,668
Oh, my God, I love your laugh.
187
00:06:37,757 --> 00:06:38,757
It's done.
188
00:06:38,792 --> 00:06:40,693
Sondra will not be bothering us anymore.
189
00:06:40,744 --> 00:06:42,661
If you need help burying
the body, count me out.
190
00:06:42,712 --> 00:06:43,696
I hurt my back yesterday.
191
00:06:44,764 --> 00:06:46,649
No, man. I told her the truth.
192
00:06:46,683 --> 00:06:47,666
That I wasn't interested
193
00:06:47,717 --> 00:06:50,536
in anything more than
a physical relationship.
194
00:06:52,339 --> 00:06:54,356
Tucker, women don't
want to hear the truth.
195
00:06:54,407 --> 00:06:55,758
Well, I mean, I guess they probably do,
196
00:06:55,792 --> 00:06:57,309
but it's just safer not to.
197
00:06:58,445 --> 00:07:00,696
Dude, but she just kept
going on and on about how
198
00:07:00,747 --> 00:07:04,233
we're so right for each other
and how she feels so betrayed.
199
00:07:04,267 --> 00:07:05,317
I mean, at least that's
what I think she said.
200
00:07:05,402 --> 00:07:06,635
I had my earplugs in.
201
00:07:07,721 --> 00:07:09,672
God, some people just
don't know how to move on.
202
00:07:11,558 --> 00:07:12,558
Oh!
203
00:07:12,609 --> 00:07:13,526
That's what I should do!
204
00:07:13,577 --> 00:07:14,627
And we're back to you.
205
00:07:15,712 --> 00:07:17,463
I'm gonna show Danny
206
00:07:17,497 --> 00:07:18,581
that Riley hasn't completely moved on!
207
00:07:18,615 --> 00:07:19,632
But she has.
208
00:07:19,666 --> 00:07:21,517
- Well, you don't know that.
- But I do.
209
00:07:21,568 --> 00:07:22,535
You know what?
210
00:07:22,569 --> 00:07:24,420
I'm gonna find some old
photos of us together,
211
00:07:24,471 --> 00:07:26,372
leave them in her apartment
where Danny will see them,
212
00:07:26,406 --> 00:07:27,489
and then he'll think
she's still pining over me.
213
00:07:27,524 --> 00:07:29,258
But she's not!
214
00:07:29,292 --> 00:07:30,476
You don't know that!
215
00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:31,744
(knocking)
216
00:07:36,683 --> 00:07:37,716
Sondra, hi.
217
00:07:37,751 --> 00:07:39,335
- Look, I know this must be hard on y...
- Shh.
218
00:07:40,754 --> 00:07:42,288
It's my turn, Tuckle-bear.
219
00:07:42,322 --> 00:07:43,622
I was doing a lot of thinking
220
00:07:43,673 --> 00:07:45,524
while I was cutting up pictures of you.
221
00:07:45,526 --> 00:07:46,542
Um, I'm sorry,
222
00:07:46,576 --> 00:07:47,626
what's up with your voice?
223
00:07:48,678 --> 00:07:51,413
If you must know,
I've also been drinking
224
00:07:51,448 --> 00:07:54,400
and alcohol makes my voice
kind of low and annoying.
225
00:07:55,569 --> 00:07:57,369
You know what?
226
00:07:58,488 --> 00:08:00,406
I think you might have misunderstood
227
00:08:00,408 --> 00:08:02,341
what I was saying earlier.
228
00:08:02,375 --> 00:08:05,277
Let's talk about this over some wine.
229
00:08:05,312 --> 00:08:06,378
Yeah. In my room.
230
00:08:07,747 --> 00:08:09,665
Go ahead, girl! I'mma get you! Go!
231
00:08:09,699 --> 00:08:10,683
(chuckles)
232
00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:18,557
No, that's too obvious.
233
00:08:18,592 --> 00:08:19,508
Oh! Nightstand.
234
00:08:20,527 --> 00:08:21,510
What the hell are you doing?
235
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:23,462
Riley! Hi! Uh...
236
00:08:23,496 --> 00:08:25,481
I was just looking for
something I dropped earlier.
237
00:08:25,515 --> 00:08:26,582
- Hey, what is that? Is that a picture of us?
- No.
238
00:08:26,633 --> 00:08:28,350
- Yes, it is.
- No, it's not.
239
00:08:28,385 --> 00:08:29,401
- Yes, it is. Let me see it.
- No, it's not, Riley.
240
00:08:29,436 --> 00:08:30,486
- Just let go. No.
- Ben, let me see the picture!
241
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:31,503
(both grunt)
242
00:08:31,538 --> 00:08:32,504
What the hell is going on?
243
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:34,273
Dude, calm down.
244
00:08:34,324 --> 00:08:36,292
This is not what it looks like...
245
00:08:36,343 --> 00:08:37,726
but I completely understand
if you're jealous.
246
00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:45,453
I mean, are you actively
247
00:08:45,487 --> 00:08:47,304
trying to make Danny jealous?
248
00:08:47,355 --> 00:08:49,373
(sputters) No, that's ridiculous.
249
00:08:49,408 --> 00:08:50,374
You think it worked?
250
00:08:51,493 --> 00:08:54,261
No, because he's not, all right?
251
00:08:54,296 --> 00:08:55,262
But if you keep this up,
252
00:08:55,297 --> 00:08:57,281
I mean, you can kiss
our friendship goodbye.
253
00:08:57,315 --> 00:08:58,282
You want to kiss me goodbye?
254
00:08:58,284 --> 00:09:00,101
That would definitely
make Danny jealous.
255
00:09:01,136 --> 00:09:03,204
Ben, oh, my God. I am begging you.
256
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:05,172
- Please! You cannot...
- Okay! Fine, fine, fine, fine!
257
00:09:05,207 --> 00:09:06,223
I'm sorry, okay? Calm down.
258
00:09:06,274 --> 00:09:07,191
I'm sorry.
259
00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:08,442
Forgive me?
260
00:09:08,493 --> 00:09:09,427
I'm sorry.
261
00:09:12,164 --> 00:09:13,114
Thank you.
262
00:09:13,165 --> 00:09:14,582
- It's just that...
- Oh, my... oh, my God.
263
00:09:14,633 --> 00:09:16,100
Oh, no, no, no! -My... my... my...
my hand! It... it's okay. It's fine.
264
00:09:16,151 --> 00:09:17,785
- No, don't pull it! It's gonna snag!
- It's caught on your shirt!
265
00:09:17,819 --> 00:09:19,420
- This is an expensive shirt!
- Hey, Riley, I was just wondering if you wanted to...
266
00:09:29,347 --> 00:09:31,198
Hey, what's up, Danny?,
267
00:09:33,185 --> 00:09:34,151
Bonnie: What?
268
00:09:34,153 --> 00:09:36,137
You're a real estate attorney?
269
00:09:36,171 --> 00:09:38,088
I'm a real estate agent.
270
00:09:38,090 --> 00:09:41,041
With your money and
my sales associates...
271
00:09:43,094 --> 00:09:45,062
we would be unstoppable!
272
00:09:46,565 --> 00:09:49,133
You have kind eyes, Margaret.
273
00:09:49,135 --> 00:09:50,434
(chuckles)
274
00:09:50,436 --> 00:09:52,536
Again, it's Bonnie.
275
00:09:52,538 --> 00:09:54,054
But thank you.
276
00:09:55,474 --> 00:09:57,291
So do you...
277
00:09:57,325 --> 00:09:59,426
in a bloodshot, cataracty sort of way.
278
00:10:01,363 --> 00:10:04,215
I'm being honored at a banquet.
279
00:10:04,217 --> 00:10:05,382
Will you come as my date?
280
00:10:06,401 --> 00:10:08,202
What do you say, Beatrice?
281
00:10:10,172 --> 00:10:14,124
Well, I say let's party like it's 1899!
282
00:10:14,159 --> 00:10:15,142
Yeah!
283
00:10:15,177 --> 00:10:17,194
Or whatever year you're from. So...
284
00:10:17,245 --> 00:10:19,547
All right, you know, I'm gonna
go get us some more drinks, okay?
285
00:10:19,598 --> 00:10:21,131
Here you go.
286
00:10:21,133 --> 00:10:22,066
Yeah.
287
00:10:23,151 --> 00:10:25,135
Tucker, I just got the craziest idea.
288
00:10:25,170 --> 00:10:26,086
(whispering)
289
00:10:27,172 --> 00:10:28,105
Damn, girl!
290
00:10:28,156 --> 00:10:30,090
I'm gonna need different shoes for that!
291
00:10:31,426 --> 00:10:34,461
Uh-oh, I can see the
bottom of my wine glass.
292
00:10:34,496 --> 00:10:36,380
(chuckles)
293
00:10:36,382 --> 00:10:37,414
I'm on it.
294
00:10:40,519 --> 00:10:42,403
Mrs. Wheeler.
295
00:10:42,437 --> 00:10:44,288
How's it going with Father Time?
296
00:10:46,174 --> 00:10:48,192
Oh, can you ask him what
happened to the dinosaurs?
297
00:10:48,194 --> 00:10:49,210
Oh. (scoffs)
298
00:10:49,244 --> 00:10:51,128
Yeah, like you're any better.
299
00:10:51,179 --> 00:10:54,498
Trying to muzzle that
pterodactyl with chardonnay.
300
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:57,151
Hey, hey, she is getting
herself drunk, all right?
301
00:10:57,185 --> 00:10:58,536
What am I supposed to do?
302
00:10:58,538 --> 00:11:00,120
Not sleep with someone
303
00:11:00,171 --> 00:11:02,489
whose sober voice makes me want
to go cordless bungee jumping?
304
00:11:04,342 --> 00:11:05,392
And what am I supposed to do?
305
00:11:05,427 --> 00:11:08,279
Not seduce one of the most
powerful men in real estate
306
00:11:08,281 --> 00:11:09,263
to further my career?
307
00:11:12,334 --> 00:11:14,351
- We're horrible people.
- Yes.
308
00:11:14,386 --> 00:11:16,153
Yes, we are.
309
00:11:16,155 --> 00:11:17,288
- Well, you in particular.
- What?
310
00:11:18,340 --> 00:11:20,190
Well, what do you think we should do?
311
00:11:20,225 --> 00:11:22,092
Say a few "Hail Marys,"
do a couple of shots,
312
00:11:22,127 --> 00:11:23,093
and pretend we're cool with it?
313
00:11:24,579 --> 00:11:26,080
In the meantime,
314
00:11:26,114 --> 00:11:27,464
Bendy just invited me to a hot party.
315
00:11:27,466 --> 00:11:28,482
- Do you want to come?
- Open bar?
316
00:11:28,516 --> 00:11:29,466
- You know it.
- We'll be there.
317
00:11:34,122 --> 00:11:35,372
Oh, hey, Tuck.
318
00:11:35,423 --> 00:11:36,373
About to head out.
319
00:11:36,424 --> 00:11:37,458
Oh. Away game?
320
00:11:37,492 --> 00:11:38,475
Yeah, just for us.
321
00:11:38,477 --> 00:11:40,311
The other team's playing at home.
322
00:11:42,414 --> 00:11:44,265
But you're gonna miss Riley's speech.
323
00:11:44,299 --> 00:11:45,249
That's okay.
324
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:46,417
She practiced on me this morning.
325
00:11:46,419 --> 00:11:49,203
You're probably gonna wish
you had an away game too.
326
00:11:49,254 --> 00:11:51,171
I'm gonna go grab a quick
shower before I take off.
327
00:11:51,206 --> 00:11:52,156
All right.
328
00:11:58,163 --> 00:11:59,129
(pipes banging)
329
00:11:59,164 --> 00:12:02,066
Aah. The pipes.
330
00:12:02,117 --> 00:12:03,484
I'll take this one...
331
00:12:05,403 --> 00:12:07,371
Should probably take these too.
332
00:12:07,373 --> 00:12:08,389
(door opens)
333
00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:10,257
Knock, knock. Oh, hey, Tuck.
334
00:12:10,308 --> 00:12:11,358
- Is Danny here?
- Yeah. He's in the shower.
335
00:12:23,171 --> 00:12:24,121
(shower running)
336
00:12:27,192 --> 00:12:28,192
Ben:
What the...
337
00:12:28,243 --> 00:12:29,176
- (Riley screams)
- (Ratting, thump)
338
00:12:31,513 --> 00:12:32,496
Seriously?
339
00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:35,099
Danny! Hey...
340
00:12:35,101 --> 00:12:36,400
Riley: Oh,
Dan... Wait!
341
00:12:38,436 --> 00:12:40,304
- Ugh.
- (Door slams shut)
342
00:12:40,355 --> 00:12:41,472
- Been working out?
- Get off of me.
343
00:12:48,678 --> 00:12:50,115
Uh, what the hell are you doing here?
344
00:12:50,215 --> 00:12:51,539
Oh, I just came to show my support
345
00:12:51,639 --> 00:12:53,524
and thought I'd send Danny a
few snaps from your big event.
346
00:12:53,575 --> 00:12:54,742
- You want to get in one?
- Oh, my God. Stop.
347
00:12:54,793 --> 00:12:56,560
Ben, this has to stop.
348
00:12:56,594 --> 00:12:57,978
Riley, this isn't even about you.
349
00:12:58,029 --> 00:12:59,563
Oh, my God! I know.
350
00:12:59,597 --> 00:13:01,465
You know what? It's never about me.
351
00:13:01,516 --> 00:13:02,933
It is always about you.
352
00:13:02,935 --> 00:13:04,868
You know what? For
once, it would be great...
353
00:13:04,919 --> 00:13:07,571
no, grand, no, spectacular...
354
00:13:07,605 --> 00:13:09,790
if it could be about me!
355
00:13:09,841 --> 00:13:12,443
Do you have any idea how
hard this has been for me?
356
00:13:12,494 --> 00:13:13,877
- Riley, it's not...
- Hard, Ben!
357
00:13:13,879 --> 00:13:14,878
The answer is hard.
358
00:13:16,815 --> 00:13:19,800
Do you know how many
age-appropriate single men
359
00:13:19,851 --> 00:13:21,652
there are in Manhattan?
360
00:13:21,703 --> 00:13:23,821
130,000!
361
00:13:23,855 --> 00:13:25,639
Yep, I looked it up!
362
00:13:26,858 --> 00:13:28,659
Could I have fallen for,
like, one or two of those guys?
363
00:13:28,710 --> 00:13:32,579
Oh, no. I got to fall
in love with brothers!
364
00:13:32,614 --> 00:13:33,580
And instead of being mature
365
00:13:33,631 --> 00:13:36,483
and realizing how
crazy this situation is,
366
00:13:36,518 --> 00:13:37,868
you are trying to destroy me!
367
00:13:37,919 --> 00:13:38,869
Why, Ben? Why?
368
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,521
Why can't you just let me be happy?
369
00:13:40,555 --> 00:13:42,956
Oh, my God, that felt so good
to get that all out at once.
370
00:13:45,994 --> 00:13:47,911
Now that you spell it all
out, I can kinda see how
371
00:13:47,946 --> 00:13:49,847
this could be a little stressful for ya.
372
00:13:49,849 --> 00:13:51,665
Oh, could you?
373
00:13:53,818 --> 00:13:55,686
Ben, please.
374
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,671
I am begging you...
375
00:13:57,722 --> 00:13:59,523
to be the amazing guy
376
00:13:59,574 --> 00:14:01,458
that I know you can be and just...
377
00:14:02,644 --> 00:14:04,461
let me move on.
378
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:06,597
You're right.
379
00:14:06,631 --> 00:14:08,565
And I promise I won't
be a problem anymore.
380
00:14:10,502 --> 00:14:11,802
(exhales) Thank you.
381
00:14:11,853 --> 00:14:12,970
Well, that's good.
382
00:14:12,972 --> 00:14:15,856
So, um, can you help me
find your mom and Mr. Bender?
383
00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:16,924
He's the one with her claws in him.
384
00:14:20,745 --> 00:14:21,795
I'll have another beer.
385
00:14:21,846 --> 00:14:23,647
And for you, m'lady?
386
00:14:23,698 --> 00:14:24,781
Oh, nothing for me, Tuckle-bear.
387
00:14:24,783 --> 00:14:26,600
My drinking days are over!
388
00:14:26,634 --> 00:14:27,634
What?
389
00:14:27,685 --> 00:14:28,685
No. No, no, no.
390
00:14:28,687 --> 00:14:30,704
Come on, girl. Nobody likes a quitter.
391
00:14:30,755 --> 00:14:33,507
Well, I've just been
drinking way too much lately.
392
00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:34,691
Hello, wagon. Meet this girl.
393
00:14:34,742 --> 00:14:35,676
This girl is off the hooch.
394
00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:37,544
"Hooch" is a funny word, right?
395
00:14:37,595 --> 00:14:38,705
I had a cousin named Hooch.
He was a riot.
396
00:14:38,731 --> 00:14:39,505
Think I'll have a double.
397
00:14:39,531 --> 00:14:41,548
He was this giant man with a tiny
chihuahua with the worst gas ever.
398
00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:42,683
Oh, my God, I really want to get a dog,
399
00:14:42,717 --> 00:14:43,934
but I don't know if I want
a big dog or a small dog.
400
00:14:43,968 --> 00:14:44,902
You know, we can name it Stinky.
401
00:14:44,953 --> 00:14:46,036
You know, he named
his dog Stinky because
402
00:14:46,070 --> 00:14:47,888
his gas was really stinky
made this funny sound,
403
00:14:47,922 --> 00:14:50,774
so it'd be, like, he'd be funny and be
laughing but he'd also be smelling it
404
00:14:50,776 --> 00:14:52,042
and be like, "Ooh, that's Stinky,"
405
00:14:52,044 --> 00:14:53,177
so he'd be laughing and gagging
and laughing and gagging.
406
00:14:53,211 --> 00:14:54,695
There's, like, this whole
new word called "gagging."
407
00:14:54,729 --> 00:14:55,779
I don't think...
No, it's "gaughing."
408
00:14:55,813 --> 00:14:56,997
Is "gaughing" a word?
I don't think gaugh...
409
00:14:57,048 --> 00:14:58,665
Did you know that you can make
a new word in the dictionary
410
00:14:58,716 --> 00:14:59,766
if you just tell them a word and then
tell them the meaning of the word?
411
00:14:59,817 --> 00:15:00,767
If they think it's a good enough word,
412
00:15:00,818 --> 00:15:01,735
they'll just add it to the dictionary.
413
00:15:02,787 --> 00:15:05,772
Don't they make motorized wheelchairs?
414
00:15:05,823 --> 00:15:08,592
Last time I pushed this
long, I went home with a kid.
415
00:15:09,677 --> 00:15:10,677
Bonnie, wait.
416
00:15:10,728 --> 00:15:12,496
I... I need your help.
417
00:15:12,530 --> 00:15:13,664
Oh, you want me to help you
418
00:15:13,666 --> 00:15:15,432
with your new Wall Street project
419
00:15:15,483 --> 00:15:16,517
by giving me the exclusive listing?
420
00:15:16,568 --> 00:15:17,868
- Oh, Bendy!
- I can't...
421
00:15:17,919 --> 00:15:19,536
I can't believe it either!
422
00:15:19,587 --> 00:15:20,604
My... my heart.
423
00:15:20,638 --> 00:15:22,472
Well, my heart is as full as yours!
424
00:15:22,474 --> 00:15:23,490
I know!
425
00:15:23,541 --> 00:15:24,541
I'm... I'm dying.
426
00:15:24,576 --> 00:15:26,476
I'm dying to start working with you too!
427
00:15:26,511 --> 00:15:27,477
Oh, Bendy!
428
00:15:27,479 --> 00:15:29,780
My girls and I are forever grateful!
429
00:15:29,814 --> 00:15:31,815
Oh, my God!
430
00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:32,816
Oh, gosh!
431
00:15:34,819 --> 00:15:36,670
Bendy?
432
00:15:36,721 --> 00:15:37,688
Mr. Bender?
433
00:15:38,773 --> 00:15:40,624
Are you...
434
00:15:40,626 --> 00:15:41,625
are you okay?
435
00:15:41,627 --> 00:15:42,643
Are you? Huh?
436
00:15:42,694 --> 00:15:44,711
Oh, God! No! God!
437
00:15:44,746 --> 00:15:46,580
Oh, my God. Okay, listen, all right?
438
00:15:46,631 --> 00:15:49,533
Um, you just stay here and
I'm gonna go get some help.
439
00:15:49,567 --> 00:15:50,918
God, why didn't you say anything?
440
00:15:52,003 --> 00:15:53,503
Don't go into the light!
441
00:15:57,592 --> 00:15:59,493
Mr. Bender! There you are.
442
00:15:59,527 --> 00:16:01,428
Everyone has been looking for you,
443
00:16:01,462 --> 00:16:03,430
so let's get you in there.
444
00:16:10,888 --> 00:16:13,774
- What are you doing?
- I brought these!
445
00:16:13,825 --> 00:16:15,659
What are you doing here?
What happened to your game?
446
00:16:15,710 --> 00:16:16,760
I left right after the final buzzer
447
00:16:16,794 --> 00:16:18,679
so I could be here for my girlfriend.
448
00:16:18,713 --> 00:16:19,696
What are you doing here?
449
00:16:19,747 --> 00:16:21,632
It's called friendship, Danny.
450
00:16:21,634 --> 00:16:23,650
You know what? Look, I'm sorry.
451
00:16:23,685 --> 00:16:26,453
I'll take my salt and pepper shakers
452
00:16:26,504 --> 00:16:28,472
and my sugar caddy
and I'll be on my way.
453
00:16:28,474 --> 00:16:29,523
Good idea.
454
00:16:29,574 --> 00:16:31,541
No, no, no. Bad idea. Ben, sit down.
455
00:16:31,543 --> 00:16:32,809
Danny, take my seat, okay?
456
00:16:32,844 --> 00:16:34,778
No one is leaving until after my moment.
457
00:16:34,780 --> 00:16:35,912
I... I mean...
458
00:16:35,964 --> 00:16:37,881
(louder) after Mr. Bender's moment!
459
00:16:37,883 --> 00:16:38,865
Okay.
460
00:16:40,952 --> 00:16:43,720
Oh, my God, there you are.
461
00:16:43,771 --> 00:16:45,689
You had me freaking out.
462
00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:47,791
For a second there, I
actually thought you were...
463
00:16:49,727 --> 00:16:50,694
Yeah, that.
464
00:16:51,746 --> 00:16:53,714
I am gonna knock you dead, sir.
465
00:16:53,748 --> 00:16:56,617
(laughs) Not gonna be that hard.
466
00:16:56,651 --> 00:16:59,603
Um, don't you think you've
had enough to drink, Tucky?
467
00:16:59,637 --> 00:17:02,439
No, because I can still hear you.
468
00:17:02,473 --> 00:17:03,407
What's that supposed to mean?
469
00:17:04,459 --> 00:17:06,526
It means the more I drink,
470
00:17:06,561 --> 00:17:07,561
the better you sound.
471
00:17:11,516 --> 00:17:13,450
Ahem. Hello. Hi. Hi, everyone.
472
00:17:13,484 --> 00:17:15,752
If I could please have your attention.
473
00:17:15,754 --> 00:17:16,887
We are here to celebrate
474
00:17:16,938 --> 00:17:19,706
a man so full of life.
475
00:17:19,741 --> 00:17:21,758
His very presence lights up a room.
476
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,611
Bernard Nathaniel Bender.
477
00:17:24,696 --> 00:17:25,579
(applause)
478
00:17:28,616 --> 00:17:30,600
Well, you don't have
to hear this voice again
479
00:17:30,635 --> 00:17:31,668
because you know who I'm done with?
480
00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:33,603
You!
481
00:17:33,638 --> 00:17:34,621
Oh!
482
00:17:34,656 --> 00:17:36,640
I'm sorry, sir. Did she get you too?
483
00:17:36,674 --> 00:17:38,592
Oh, excuse me.
484
00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:40,494
Sir?
485
00:17:40,528 --> 00:17:42,496
Holy crap! This guy's dead!
486
00:17:42,547 --> 00:17:43,597
- (all gasp)
- Oh, my Lord!
487
00:17:43,648 --> 00:17:45,882
He's just died at this very moment
488
00:17:45,917 --> 00:17:47,834
right now in front of everyone!
489
00:17:47,869 --> 00:17:48,919
Stand back! I know CPR!
490
00:17:48,970 --> 00:17:50,854
- Yeah, so do I!
- What's your problem?
491
00:17:50,856 --> 00:17:51,855
This isn't a competition!
492
00:17:51,906 --> 00:17:53,040
Oh, really?
493
00:17:53,074 --> 00:17:54,808
'Cause I'm pretty sure you
make everything a competition!
494
00:17:54,842 --> 00:17:56,693
You guys really think
it's a good time for this?
495
00:17:56,744 --> 00:17:57,794
Excuse me, excuse me.
496
00:17:57,829 --> 00:18:00,647
We have a dead guy at table three!
497
00:18:00,698 --> 00:18:01,732
I already said I was sorry!
498
00:18:01,783 --> 00:18:02,749
Sorry for what?
499
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:03,800
Grabbing my girlfriend's boob
500
00:18:03,835 --> 00:18:05,602
or me catching you in the shower?
501
00:18:05,604 --> 00:18:06,653
Wasn't the first time for either!
502
00:18:06,688 --> 00:18:08,538
Oh, you're a dead man.
503
00:18:08,573 --> 00:18:10,557
No, no, no, no. This,
this is a dead man!
504
00:18:10,591 --> 00:18:12,492
Oh, he's going down!
He's going down, people!
505
00:18:12,527 --> 00:18:14,154
Can't you just for one second
admit that you're jealous?
506
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:14,561
Jealous?
507
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:16,913
I'm only jealous of people who
don't have you as a brother!
508
00:18:16,948 --> 00:18:18,498
- Oh, it's on!
- It's not...
509
00:18:18,549 --> 00:18:19,499
(screams)
510
00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:20,517
Riley!
511
00:18:20,551 --> 00:18:22,486
Riley: Oh, yep, he's definitely dead.
512
00:18:25,473 --> 00:18:26,473
Oh, my God.
513
00:18:27,825 --> 00:18:29,710
Riley killed Mr. Bender.
514
00:18:30,962 --> 00:18:32,729
- Who wants to split a cab?
- I do.
515
00:18:32,731 --> 00:18:33,697
Okay.
516
00:18:39,687 --> 00:18:40,754
Hey.
517
00:18:40,805 --> 00:18:41,722
Hey.
518
00:18:43,608 --> 00:18:44,574
(sighs)
519
00:18:44,609 --> 00:18:45,542
We need to talk.
520
00:18:47,528 --> 00:18:49,546
I really am sorry about this whole mess.
521
00:18:49,580 --> 00:18:52,599
I was being childish
and immature, and...
522
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:55,952
I just wanted you to admit that
I had meant something to Riley.
523
00:18:57,555 --> 00:19:00,741
I wanted just for once for
you to be jealous of me.
524
00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:03,760
Oh, my God.
525
00:19:03,762 --> 00:19:05,445
Don't you get it?
526
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,414
I was lying.
527
00:19:07,448 --> 00:19:09,416
Ben, I've watched the girl of my dreams
528
00:19:09,467 --> 00:19:11,468
be in love with you for two years.
529
00:19:11,502 --> 00:19:12,853
Every time she held your hand,
530
00:19:12,887 --> 00:19:15,856
every time she kissed you
and not me, it killed me.
531
00:19:16,941 --> 00:19:18,892
I'm tired of feeling jealous.
532
00:19:18,943 --> 00:19:20,777
I just want to get past this.
533
00:19:20,812 --> 00:19:21,895
But I won't let you.
534
00:19:28,486 --> 00:19:30,737
Maybe it's because I never thanked you.
535
00:19:30,788 --> 00:19:31,822
For what?
536
00:19:31,824 --> 00:19:34,458
For what you did at mom's wedding.
537
00:19:34,492 --> 00:19:36,827
If it wasn't for you, there
would be no Riley and me.
538
00:19:36,878 --> 00:19:39,880
And I know that that was probably the
hardest thing that you've ever done.
539
00:19:41,799 --> 00:19:42,799
So, thanks, bro.
540
00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:44,918
Oh.
541
00:19:44,969 --> 00:19:46,837
So, I'm kind of the hero in this story?
542
00:19:46,839 --> 00:19:47,838
- I'm good with that.
- Yeah.
543
00:19:47,889 --> 00:19:48,889
(chuckles)
544
00:19:50,508 --> 00:19:51,842
Look, Danny...
545
00:19:51,893 --> 00:19:53,760
please trust me when I say
546
00:19:53,811 --> 00:19:55,729
I am truly happy that
you're with Riley now.
547
00:19:58,516 --> 00:19:59,816
How's she doing?
548
00:20:00,852 --> 00:20:01,902
Eh, she'll be fine.
549
00:20:02,987 --> 00:20:04,738
Has she been working out?
550
00:20:04,772 --> 00:20:05,856
Yeah, man. She has.
551
00:20:08,860 --> 00:20:09,860
Don't tell her we did that.
552
00:20:15,265 --> 00:20:18,067
Got a fresh stack of fliers
553
00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:20,168
and the world's cutest assistant.
554
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,087
Okay, Emma. Can you show
me that dance we practiced?
555
00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:24,255
Come on, show it.
556
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:26,257
Yes! All right!
557
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,059
All right.
558
00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:30,144
Let's go drum up some
business for grandma!
559
00:20:30,179 --> 00:20:32,013
Come on, sweetie.
560
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:35,149
Hey. What's going on?
561
00:20:35,184 --> 00:20:36,184
Nothing.
562
00:20:36,186 --> 00:20:38,186
Just getting Emma ready for Halloween.
563
00:20:38,188 --> 00:20:40,104
- Oh, cute.
- Mm-hmm.
564
00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:41,189
Let's hit Times Square, sweetie.
565
00:20:43,108 --> 00:20:44,075
Wait a minute.
566
00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:45,109
(door closes)
567
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,160
Halloween's not for six months.
568
00:20:46,195 --> 00:20:48,279
Mom? Mom!
569
00:20:48,329 --> 00:20:52,879
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