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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,980 --> 00:00:02,515 Okay, people. I need you to focus. 2 00:00:02,516 --> 00:00:03,920 This is a critical birthday decision. 3 00:00:04,706 --> 00:00:05,878 Traditional. 4 00:00:07,963 --> 00:00:10,395 - Tiara. - Oh... 5 00:00:12,234 --> 00:00:14,054 Or my personal favorite... 6 00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:15,686 Viking warrior princess? 7 00:00:16,028 --> 00:00:18,417 - Oh! - All: Warrior princess! 8 00:00:19,437 --> 00:00:20,891 Oh, and also, can we please vote 9 00:00:20,892 --> 00:00:22,413 on whether or not we're getting a pony? 10 00:00:22,414 --> 00:00:23,940 I still think we can fit one in the elevator. 11 00:00:24,447 --> 00:00:25,521 (Door opens) 12 00:00:25,522 --> 00:00:27,357 Well, I measured. 13 00:00:27,678 --> 00:00:30,585 And we can totally fit a pony in that elevator. 14 00:00:30,586 --> 00:00:33,468 - Yes! Yup, knew it. - Bonnie: Yeah. 15 00:00:33,469 --> 00:00:38,663 Oh, my God, I can't believe it is already Emma's first birthday. 16 00:00:39,328 --> 00:00:42,452 I remember I pulled out all the stops for you boys. 17 00:00:42,453 --> 00:00:45,869 Really? Because I pulled out all our old birthday DVDs. 18 00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:49,207 - You care to explain this? - (Laughter) 19 00:00:49,854 --> 00:00:52,002 Okay, Ray, let's try to make this fast, okay? 20 00:00:52,003 --> 00:00:54,159 I've got a hangover bigger than my hair. 21 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:57,037 And I cannot get that Vanilla Ice out of my brain. 22 00:00:57,038 --> 00:00:59,712 Man, that guy is gonna be big, huh? 23 00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,774 Hey, Ray. Ray! Hey! 24 00:01:02,775 --> 00:01:04,430 Honey, we're over here. 25 00:01:04,826 --> 00:01:09,219 Danny. Danny, I told you not to eat this, okay? 26 00:01:09,220 --> 00:01:11,295 Oh, you know what? Benji... he'll never notice. 27 00:01:11,296 --> 00:01:12,730 - Okay, here we go. - (Fusses) 28 00:01:12,731 --> 00:01:14,767 All right, all right, let's get this over with, people. 29 00:01:14,768 --> 00:01:16,218 "The Cosby Show" is gonna be on. 30 00:01:16,219 --> 00:01:19,036 Man, and look, that Rudy... that girl is gonna be big! 31 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:21,135 Okay, blah-da blah blah blah blah. 32 00:01:21,136 --> 00:01:23,848 Here we go and happy... 33 00:01:23,849 --> 00:01:26,738 - (whistle tweets) - Bonnie: Come on, Danny! Crush him! 34 00:01:26,739 --> 00:01:28,910 I can't believe you taped over my first birthday. 35 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:32,842 Yeah, well, since you're onto me, I also taped over your next three. 36 00:01:33,264 --> 00:01:35,989 Well, unlike me, Emma's gonna have the best birthday party ever. 37 00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:38,060 - We are gonna make some memories. - Yeah. 38 00:01:38,061 --> 00:01:41,208 (Bonnie, seductively) Come on, Ray. Everyone's doing it. 39 00:01:41,209 --> 00:01:43,882 - Mom! - Hey, we were making some memories! 40 00:01:43,883 --> 00:01:45,583 - (Mutters) - (Theme music playing) 41 00:01:46,414 --> 00:01:49,431 It's amazing how the unexpected 42 00:01:49,432 --> 00:01:52,368 can take your life and change direction. 43 00:01:52,369 --> 00:01:56,381 Synced and corrected by Nantinha ~ www.addic7ed.com ~ 44 00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:58,068 - (Laughs) - Don't worry, Emma. 45 00:01:58,069 --> 00:01:59,618 You're gonna have the best birthday ever, 46 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:03,272 because we're having it at Frankie & Bobbie's ice cream parlor. 47 00:02:03,273 --> 00:02:05,603 - Oh! - Wait, so you're not even 48 00:02:05,604 --> 00:02:07,835 gonna acknowledge my petting zoo idea? 49 00:02:08,631 --> 00:02:11,027 That's where we had all our special events growing up. 50 00:02:11,028 --> 00:02:12,870 Yeah, Ben and I worked there in high school... 51 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,019 Till Ben got banned... 52 00:02:16,107 --> 00:02:17,339 For life. 53 00:02:18,092 --> 00:02:21,695 (Chuckles) Okay, Ben, you've been banned from the mall, 54 00:02:21,696 --> 00:02:25,109 six bars and the Statue of Liberty crown. 55 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,565 How do you get banned from an ice cream parlor? 56 00:02:35,035 --> 00:02:36,318 Hey, Ben. (Chuckles) 57 00:02:36,319 --> 00:02:38,731 God, this hat makes me look like such a dork. 58 00:02:39,032 --> 00:02:42,265 - I hate it. - You always say that. 59 00:02:42,266 --> 00:02:44,920 Can't you just enjoy the positive side to this job? 60 00:02:44,921 --> 00:02:47,428 (Inhales deeply) One free sundae per shift. 61 00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:50,410 I'm calling this one "the kitchen sink." 62 00:02:51,098 --> 00:02:53,164 And I'm calling this one "boobs." 63 00:02:53,165 --> 00:02:55,272 Get it? Boobs. 64 00:02:57,362 --> 00:02:58,889 Hey, you have a little something right... 65 00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:00,760 oh, no no, that's my new 'stache. 66 00:03:00,761 --> 00:03:03,328 You like it? I've been working on it all summer. 67 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,889 - You look so mature. - (Door opens) 68 00:03:06,317 --> 00:03:08,170 - (Bell jingles) - Hey, Riles. 69 00:03:08,171 --> 00:03:10,236 Looking pretty styling in that uniform. 70 00:03:10,237 --> 00:03:12,801 - Thanks. - Ben, you look like a dork. 71 00:03:13,345 --> 00:03:15,135 It's the hat. 72 00:03:15,136 --> 00:03:18,097 No, I'm pretty sure it's the face. (Chuckles) 73 00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:23,139 Hey, Ben-Ben, isn't it time for our break? 74 00:03:23,140 --> 00:03:24,410 He just got here. 75 00:03:24,753 --> 00:03:26,823 You've been on a break since your last break. 76 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,563 Well, when your dad owns an ice cream parlor, 77 00:03:29,564 --> 00:03:31,424 you can tell me what to do. 78 00:03:31,425 --> 00:03:33,582 It's okay. We're just taking inventory... 79 00:03:34,621 --> 00:03:37,550 In my pants. Cover for me. 80 00:03:39,991 --> 00:03:41,991 (Exasperated sigh) I hate having a shift with Jenny. 81 00:03:41,992 --> 00:03:44,236 You know, she thinks she can just get away with anything. 82 00:03:44,237 --> 00:03:46,700 All I do is just work work work. 83 00:03:47,931 --> 00:03:51,458 Perrin! Stop eating the profits. 84 00:03:52,245 --> 00:03:53,969 Where is everybody? Where's Jenny? 85 00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:57,179 Oh, I'm not sure. 86 00:03:57,180 --> 00:03:58,877 I think they might be in the back. 87 00:03:58,878 --> 00:04:00,649 They said something about inventory...? 88 00:04:05,502 --> 00:04:07,552 So, we're going to the movies tonight. 89 00:04:07,553 --> 00:04:09,902 - I was thinking maybe you and I could... - No thanks, I can't. 90 00:04:09,903 --> 00:04:12,776 I have to work a double. Ooh, second sundae. 91 00:04:13,845 --> 00:04:16,396 - (Clattering) - Frankie: What the... I warned you, Wheeler! 92 00:04:16,397 --> 00:04:17,841 Now get out! 93 00:04:21,078 --> 00:04:22,116 (Bell jingles) 94 00:04:22,419 --> 00:04:23,915 Jenny DeLuca. 95 00:04:23,916 --> 00:04:26,121 That girl was two scoops of awesome. 96 00:04:27,605 --> 00:04:28,950 I hated that girl. 97 00:04:28,951 --> 00:04:31,601 She's the one who instituted the one sundae per shift rule. 98 00:04:32,448 --> 00:04:33,422 (Chuckles) Well, we gotta kick 99 00:04:33,423 --> 00:04:34,901 this Emma party plan into high gear. 100 00:04:34,902 --> 00:04:36,653 Riley, you're in charge of decorations; 101 00:04:36,654 --> 00:04:38,069 Tucker, food and beverages; 102 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,308 - and Danny... - Just name it. I'll do anything. 103 00:04:40,309 --> 00:04:42,593 - Will you be the clown? - Anything but that! 104 00:04:43,590 --> 00:04:45,317 You know clowns freak me out! 105 00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:46,883 I can never tell if they're gonna squirt me 106 00:04:46,884 --> 00:04:49,429 with a flower or stab me in my sleep. 107 00:04:49,986 --> 00:04:52,345 The only thing a clown will stab you with 108 00:04:52,346 --> 00:04:54,067 is joy and merriment. 109 00:04:54,725 --> 00:04:57,174 Don't worry, big guy. You're in good hands. 110 00:04:57,175 --> 00:04:59,824 I may have dabbled in mimery in college. 111 00:05:01,443 --> 00:05:03,274 (Sputters) Mimes freak me out. 112 00:05:04,413 --> 00:05:06,032 Mom, come with me to Frankie & Bobbie's. 113 00:05:06,033 --> 00:05:07,682 Wait, you still wanna have it there? 114 00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:09,777 I mean, don't you remember what Frankie said to you? 115 00:05:09,778 --> 00:05:11,142 - Uh-uh. - Ben: It doesn't matter. 116 00:05:11,143 --> 00:05:12,673 It's all water under the bridge. 117 00:05:12,674 --> 00:05:13,988 No, what he said was, 118 00:05:13,989 --> 00:05:15,599 "I'll bury you under the bridge." 119 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,150 (Thuds) 120 00:05:18,008 --> 00:05:19,300 (Bell jingles) 121 00:05:19,799 --> 00:05:22,167 Oh, my God. I can't believe it. 122 00:05:22,168 --> 00:05:23,684 This place looks exactly the same. 123 00:05:24,273 --> 00:05:26,919 Well, you're wearing pants, so that's different. 124 00:05:30,062 --> 00:05:33,155 - Ben Wheeler? - Jenny DeLuca? 125 00:05:33,156 --> 00:05:35,082 Oh, my God, you look amazing. 126 00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:36,859 What the hell are you doing here? 127 00:05:36,860 --> 00:05:40,364 Well, well, well, look who's here! 128 00:05:40,365 --> 00:05:42,135 I didn't know it was garbage day. 129 00:05:44,182 --> 00:05:46,686 That pony's looking pretty good right now, isn't it? 130 00:05:48,799 --> 00:05:52,173 (Laughs) Honestly, I can watch you smash that cake all day. 131 00:05:52,174 --> 00:05:53,806 All right, get that backup cake ready! 132 00:05:53,807 --> 00:05:55,832 He's tearing through this one pretty fast! 133 00:05:56,301 --> 00:05:58,069 Yeah! 134 00:05:58,070 --> 00:05:59,703 I love cake. 135 00:05:59,704 --> 00:06:01,279 Happy Birthday, Danny. 136 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,119 Can you wave? Wave to daddy. 137 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,913 - Can you wave to daddy? - Wait a minute. 138 00:06:04,914 --> 00:06:06,794 Wait a minute. That's my aunt Margot, right? 139 00:06:06,795 --> 00:06:09,779 Uh, yeah. Why does she look like she's pregnant? 140 00:06:09,780 --> 00:06:11,916 Riley: Because she is. 141 00:06:11,917 --> 00:06:16,137 Oh my God. She couldn't have been much more than like 16. 142 00:06:16,531 --> 00:06:18,895 So? Isn't being a teen mom 143 00:06:18,896 --> 00:06:21,217 kind of a rite of passage for you people? 144 00:06:22,268 --> 00:06:24,962 But Margot doesn't have any kids, all right? 145 00:06:24,963 --> 00:06:26,432 She said she didn't want to be tied down. 146 00:06:26,433 --> 00:06:28,049 Oh, my God. How did I not know this? 147 00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:30,228 Should I just tell her that I know, 148 00:06:30,229 --> 00:06:31,770 or I could kinda hint at it, 149 00:06:31,771 --> 00:06:34,270 or say I saw your old video? Oh, my God. 150 00:06:34,271 --> 00:06:37,291 I can't believe my family finally has a juicy dark secret. 151 00:06:37,292 --> 00:06:38,884 I'll... I'll talk to you guys later. 152 00:06:39,963 --> 00:06:41,922 - (Door closes) - Wait, hold up. 153 00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:44,431 Why do scandalous secrets have to be dark? 154 00:06:44,432 --> 00:06:46,376 I mean, that's just racist. (Chuckles) 155 00:06:46,377 --> 00:06:49,043 What's wrong with a juicy white secret? 156 00:06:49,928 --> 00:06:52,485 Yeah, I don't think that's their only secret. 157 00:06:52,486 --> 00:06:54,552 That might be Riley's aunt Margot, 158 00:06:54,553 --> 00:06:56,863 but that very unpregnant woman 159 00:06:56,864 --> 00:06:59,229 - is Riley's mom. - So? 160 00:06:59,632 --> 00:07:02,973 So? Riley was born just two weeks after my first birthday. 161 00:07:02,974 --> 00:07:04,787 Her mom should be ready to explode. 162 00:07:05,145 --> 00:07:08,637 - So you're saying... - I think Riley's mom is her aunt 163 00:07:08,638 --> 00:07:10,291 and her aunt is her mom. 164 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,553 Oh, that is one juicy white secret. 165 00:07:14,582 --> 00:07:16,541 See? It totally works. 166 00:07:18,144 --> 00:07:20,396 Jenny, come on. You don't give somebody freezer burn 167 00:07:20,397 --> 00:07:21,972 over half their body and then pretend 168 00:07:21,973 --> 00:07:23,576 like it's not nice to see them again. 169 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:26,336 Yeah, fine, it's nice to see you again. 170 00:07:26,337 --> 00:07:28,174 And you know what would be even nicer? 171 00:07:28,496 --> 00:07:29,818 Seeing you go. 172 00:07:30,267 --> 00:07:32,399 Please, your dad still can't be mad. 173 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,808 - It's been almost seven years. - Ben, you don't know my dad. 174 00:07:34,809 --> 00:07:36,647 He never met a grudge he didn't like. 175 00:07:37,225 --> 00:07:38,634 Okay okay, fine. 176 00:07:38,635 --> 00:07:40,860 How about you just let us have Emma's birthday here then? 177 00:07:41,367 --> 00:07:42,969 It's not really up to me. 178 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,013 You have got a lot of nerve coming in here like this. 179 00:07:47,014 --> 00:07:50,913 Come on. It is my granddaughter's first birthday. 180 00:07:50,914 --> 00:07:54,531 If you had any grandkids, you would understand how important this is. 181 00:07:54,532 --> 00:07:56,620 Are you... you're kidding me, right? You... 182 00:07:56,621 --> 00:07:58,714 Hey, grandpa, come on! Help me make a sundae! 183 00:07:58,715 --> 00:08:00,140 Okay, all right. Hey, hold up. 184 00:08:00,141 --> 00:08:01,559 I want to introduce you to somebody. 185 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,108 This is my grandson... Ben. 186 00:08:07,968 --> 00:08:09,408 - Ben? - Yeah. 187 00:08:09,409 --> 00:08:11,894 She wanted to name him after the father. 188 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:15,485 Ben? 189 00:08:17,851 --> 00:08:20,144 Seriously, I can't believe he threw me out of there again. 190 00:08:20,145 --> 00:08:23,174 I'm pretty sure I wasn't the first person to defrost Jenny DeLuca. 191 00:08:24,364 --> 00:08:27,242 So, Ben, take me back. 192 00:08:27,243 --> 00:08:29,449 Exactly how long ago were you banned 193 00:08:29,450 --> 00:08:30,799 from Frankie & Bobbie's? 194 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,569 I don't know, like seven years ago. 195 00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:34,706 How does six years and nine months sound? 196 00:08:34,707 --> 00:08:36,030 About right. 197 00:08:36,579 --> 00:08:38,422 I don't suppose when you and Jenny were 198 00:08:38,423 --> 00:08:41,419 rolling around in that freezer you covered up? 199 00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:44,020 Well, it was pretty cold in there, so I definitely had a coat on. 200 00:08:44,847 --> 00:08:47,716 - On the part that counts? - I was 16... 201 00:08:48,048 --> 00:08:49,522 And an idiot... 202 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,020 And in a rush, so no, probably not. 203 00:08:53,804 --> 00:08:55,363 Why are you asking me all these questions? 204 00:08:55,364 --> 00:08:58,841 Because Jenny has a six-year-old son... 205 00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,811 Oh! Glad I dodged that bullet. 206 00:09:02,015 --> 00:09:03,561 Named Ben. 207 00:09:03,562 --> 00:09:06,315 Wow. I can't believe she named her kid after me. That's really... 208 00:09:08,951 --> 00:09:11,130 - Oh, my God! - Exactly! 209 00:09:11,131 --> 00:09:12,547 No, there's no way. 210 00:09:12,548 --> 00:09:14,378 Well, I guess there was a way. 211 00:09:14,379 --> 00:09:16,333 - There were several ways. - Oh, God, don't tell me! 212 00:09:16,334 --> 00:09:18,477 - Are you sure? - Well, Frankie DeLuca is. 213 00:09:18,478 --> 00:09:21,125 - Well, what am I gonna do? - Well, either build a time machine 214 00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:23,442 so you can fix your mistakes or take 30 seconds 215 00:09:23,443 --> 00:09:25,725 and read the instructions on the back of a condom! 216 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:33,025 - Put it on. - No. I'm not gonna put it on. 217 00:09:33,336 --> 00:09:34,837 I said put it on. 218 00:09:36,353 --> 00:09:37,632 Fine. 219 00:09:40,503 --> 00:09:41,937 How do you feel? 220 00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:44,633 My palms are sweating a little bit, 221 00:09:44,634 --> 00:09:46,028 but my nose is warm. 222 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,973 (Chuckles) Now let's do something about your cold feet. 223 00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,994 (Scoffs) I don't see what's so funny about that. 224 00:09:53,995 --> 00:09:55,891 It's basically just a pair of my shoes. 225 00:09:56,403 --> 00:09:57,940 Slightly smaller. 226 00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:01,883 No more Mr. nice clown, Danny. 227 00:10:01,884 --> 00:10:03,827 It's time to pull on your big Bozo pants 228 00:10:03,828 --> 00:10:05,162 and clown up. 229 00:10:25,927 --> 00:10:06,902 Do it for Emma. 230 00:10:06,903 --> 00:10:08,779 (Cellphone buzzes) 231 00:10:11,318 --> 00:10:13,945 It's Riley. She's with Margot. 232 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,784 What if Riley asks her about the baby? 233 00:10:15,785 --> 00:10:17,774 What if Margot tells her that she's her mom? 234 00:10:18,899 --> 00:10:21,378 I mean, I guess I would wanna know. 235 00:10:21,379 --> 00:10:23,127 Well, if I grew up with your mom 236 00:10:23,128 --> 00:10:25,187 and there was a chance that I could get a new one, 237 00:10:25,188 --> 00:10:28,632 - I'd wanna know too. - But what if Riley's devastated? 238 00:10:28,633 --> 00:10:30,600 I should be there for her. I gotta go. 239 00:10:31,468 --> 00:10:33,045 (Yelps) 240 00:10:33,046 --> 00:10:35,277 Yeah, still super creepy. 241 00:10:35,827 --> 00:10:37,934 (Sighs) I love Emma, 242 00:10:37,935 --> 00:10:39,647 and I shall prove it by purchasing 243 00:10:39,648 --> 00:10:41,574 a very extravagant gift. 244 00:10:42,221 --> 00:10:43,463 I'm thinking puppy. 245 00:10:44,650 --> 00:10:47,420 Well, here, take this to cheer Riley up. 246 00:10:49,051 --> 00:10:50,557 I believe it's a donkey. 247 00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:56,294 I didn't think a teenager with a 10:00 curfew 248 00:10:56,295 --> 00:10:59,822 and a hamster named Luke Perry should be raising a child. 249 00:11:00,657 --> 00:11:03,142 Hey, ladies, what are we talking about? 250 00:11:03,143 --> 00:11:04,630 Anyone need a shoulder to cry on? 251 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:05,878 I brought two. 252 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,236 You are not gonna believe what aunt Margot just told me. 253 00:11:08,237 --> 00:11:11,364 She gave up a baby for adoption when she was a teenager. 254 00:11:11,934 --> 00:11:13,648 It's okay if I tell people, right? 255 00:11:14,783 --> 00:11:17,372 Wow, really? Is that all she told you? 256 00:11:17,749 --> 00:11:21,763 Well, I also mentioned I had a out of body experience in a sweat lodge, 257 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:24,336 but the baby was kinda the big news. 258 00:11:25,636 --> 00:11:28,895 It was a girl and she never saw her again. 259 00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:30,413 - (Inhales deeply) - God, it's so crazy to think 260 00:11:30,414 --> 00:11:31,623 that I have a cousin out there somewhere 261 00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,872 who's almost exactly the same age as me. 262 00:11:34,184 --> 00:11:35,511 - (Margot chuckles) - I mean, how weird would it be 263 00:11:35,512 --> 00:11:37,873 - if I actually knew her? - Danny and margot: Very. 264 00:11:38,836 --> 00:11:41,869 Oh, Riley, you've got a little stain on your blouse. 265 00:11:41,870 --> 00:11:43,762 - Oh, where? - Right there. 266 00:11:44,764 --> 00:11:46,429 Oh. Eww. Sorry, I'll be right back. 267 00:11:47,853 --> 00:11:51,169 (Loudly) So, Margot, how you been? 268 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,460 Haven't seen you in a couple... 269 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,136 (softly) I know the truth about you and Riley. 270 00:11:54,891 --> 00:11:56,886 Oh, I don't suppose you're talking about 271 00:11:56,887 --> 00:11:59,929 that time we got arrested at a Van Halen concert? 272 00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:02,501 My bad. I totally made her hold my backpack. 273 00:12:03,351 --> 00:12:05,142 No, that she's your daughter. 274 00:12:05,143 --> 00:12:07,796 (Sighs) And that's what I was afraid of. 275 00:12:08,582 --> 00:12:10,225 How did you figure it out? 276 00:12:10,226 --> 00:12:11,456 It wasn't that hard. 277 00:12:11,457 --> 00:12:12,844 I just put two and two together. 278 00:12:12,845 --> 00:12:14,419 I thought you were the slow one. 279 00:12:15,394 --> 00:12:17,201 You have to tell her. She deserves to know. 280 00:12:17,202 --> 00:12:20,139 Actually, I don't. It's not my place to tell her. 281 00:12:20,597 --> 00:12:21,886 It's her mom's, 282 00:12:21,887 --> 00:12:24,399 my sister, the woman who raised her. 283 00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:26,700 I promised I would never tell, 284 00:12:26,701 --> 00:12:28,441 and now you have to promise, too. 285 00:12:28,845 --> 00:12:30,219 Can you do that? 286 00:12:30,587 --> 00:12:32,752 You know, between this and the clown thing, 287 00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:34,307 you people are really asking a lot. 288 00:12:35,734 --> 00:12:37,480 Wait... I'm the slow one? 289 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:40,989 (Bell jingles) 290 00:12:40,990 --> 00:12:42,003 We're closed. 291 00:12:42,004 --> 00:12:44,437 And I already got the 9 and the 1 pushed on my phone. 292 00:12:45,484 --> 00:12:47,005 Hey, it's me again. 293 00:12:47,006 --> 00:12:48,079 I think we need to talk. 294 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:49,466 Seriously? 295 00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,595 How many times I gotta throw you out of here? 296 00:12:51,957 --> 00:12:53,252 Like a cockroach. 297 00:12:54,558 --> 00:12:56,638 Daddy, please. I can handle him. 298 00:12:56,639 --> 00:12:59,430 (Scoffs) Handling him is why you are here in the first place. 299 00:13:01,639 --> 00:13:03,995 Fine. I'm going to give you two minutes. 300 00:13:03,996 --> 00:13:05,419 Then I'm going to call the cops. 301 00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:07,798 Also known as my cousin Tony. 302 00:13:10,142 --> 00:13:11,551 Ben, what are you doing here? 303 00:13:11,552 --> 00:13:12,645 You're going to get me in trouble. 304 00:13:13,014 --> 00:13:14,590 I think we've pretty much established 305 00:13:14,591 --> 00:13:15,991 that I've already done that. 306 00:13:16,767 --> 00:13:19,194 Now is really not a good time to talk. 307 00:13:19,195 --> 00:13:21,521 What about the last seven years? Busy? 308 00:13:22,375 --> 00:13:24,332 You want to have your kid's birthday party here? Fine. 309 00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:25,746 My dad won't even be here tomorrow. 310 00:13:25,747 --> 00:13:27,477 Honestly, that's not really why I'm here. 311 00:13:27,787 --> 00:13:29,948 Although I will take the 2:00 to 4:00 slot. 312 00:13:31,069 --> 00:13:32,394 One minute! 313 00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:35,461 And I already got the 9 and the 1 pushed on my phone. 314 00:13:36,187 --> 00:13:37,808 Ben, we were fine without you. 315 00:13:37,809 --> 00:13:39,225 We'll be fine when you leave. 316 00:13:39,226 --> 00:13:41,416 Seriously, you gotta get out. 317 00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:43,834 If only you'd told me that seven years ago. 318 00:13:48,936 --> 00:13:50,316 Oh, hey! 319 00:13:50,317 --> 00:13:51,669 That's a good idea. 320 00:13:51,670 --> 00:13:53,031 Numbering your kids. 321 00:13:54,082 --> 00:13:55,551 Mom, what am I gonna do? 322 00:13:55,552 --> 00:13:56,990 Jenny won't even talk to me about it. 323 00:13:56,991 --> 00:13:59,385 Well, let's just make sure that we give Emma 324 00:13:59,386 --> 00:14:02,728 a memorable first birthday, all right? 325 00:14:02,729 --> 00:14:04,884 And then, we will welcome little Ben 326 00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:07,928 into this freak show we insist on calling a family. 327 00:14:09,311 --> 00:14:10,559 Why do women keep having babies 328 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,208 and not telling me about them? 329 00:14:12,209 --> 00:14:13,824 It's starting to hurt my feelings. 330 00:14:14,738 --> 00:14:15,863 (Bell jingles) 331 00:14:16,195 --> 00:14:17,360 All right. 332 00:14:18,298 --> 00:14:20,225 Where do you want Tuck-Tuck the clown? 333 00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:21,905 - Tuck-tuck? - I know. 334 00:14:21,906 --> 00:14:23,972 Can you believe "Tuckles" was already taken? 335 00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:28,162 Can I interest you in either a snake 336 00:14:28,522 --> 00:14:29,866 or a hot dog? 337 00:14:31,093 --> 00:14:33,067 Oh, in a minute. I got a little unfinished business. 338 00:14:36,889 --> 00:14:38,286 (Both exclaim) 339 00:14:39,132 --> 00:14:40,094 Really? 340 00:14:40,095 --> 00:14:41,401 You couldn't have told me you changed your mind 341 00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:43,299 before I got on the subway like this? 342 00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:45,884 I realized I had to do it for Emma. 343 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,099 Do you know how long it takes 344 00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,694 to explain to a transit cop 345 00:14:48,695 --> 00:14:50,847 why you've got a rubber chicken in your pants? 346 00:14:51,653 --> 00:14:53,773 Actually... I do. 347 00:14:57,501 --> 00:14:58,655 Oh, hey, Riley. 348 00:14:58,656 --> 00:15:00,417 - Hey! - Oh, nice timing. 349 00:15:00,418 --> 00:15:01,765 Does somebody send you an alert 350 00:15:01,766 --> 00:15:03,052 when fresh cake arrives? 351 00:15:04,016 --> 00:15:05,484 Oh, my God. How great would that be? 352 00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,517 So I can't believe you never told me 353 00:15:08,518 --> 00:15:10,074 about the whole baby thing. 354 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,743 Honey, if I had to tell you every time 355 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,635 Ben does something stupid, we would never leave the house. 356 00:15:15,990 --> 00:15:18,725 No, I had dinner with my aunt Margot last night 357 00:15:18,726 --> 00:15:20,239 and she told me everything. 358 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,775 (Sighs, laughs) 359 00:15:21,776 --> 00:15:23,080 Thank God. 360 00:15:23,081 --> 00:15:25,478 I've been keeping that one locked up for years. 361 00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:28,129 I just... I don't understand 362 00:15:28,130 --> 00:15:29,450 why it was such a secret. 363 00:15:29,984 --> 00:15:31,817 I feel bad for aunt Margot. 364 00:15:32,378 --> 00:15:34,210 Well, I feel bad for you. 365 00:15:34,211 --> 00:15:36,830 You're the one who lost out on having a cool mom 366 00:15:36,831 --> 00:15:38,822 and got stuck with the, well... 367 00:15:38,823 --> 00:15:40,401 You know her better than anyone. 368 00:15:42,644 --> 00:15:44,408 I'm sorry, what are you saying? 369 00:15:44,409 --> 00:15:45,678 Well, I was just trying to avoid 370 00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:47,136 calling your mom a bitch. 371 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,015 Are you saying aunt Margot's my mom? 372 00:15:53,436 --> 00:15:54,831 No... 373 00:15:58,421 --> 00:16:01,583 So Margot had a baby and that baby was me? 374 00:16:01,983 --> 00:16:03,358 What?! 375 00:16:05,942 --> 00:16:07,389 Excuse me. 376 00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:11,250 Well, I kept my mouth shut for 25 years. 377 00:16:11,251 --> 00:16:12,769 Any points for that? 378 00:16:14,491 --> 00:16:16,778 Jenny, we can't pretend like nothing happened. 379 00:16:16,779 --> 00:16:18,690 Sure we can. Watch me. 380 00:16:19,580 --> 00:16:21,592 See? Doing it right now. 381 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,526 Well, I can't. 382 00:16:23,527 --> 00:16:26,421 Mostly because I know something happened... he's 6, 383 00:16:26,422 --> 00:16:28,601 his name is Ben, and quite frankly, 384 00:16:28,602 --> 00:16:30,890 I think you're letting him have a little bit too much ice cream. 385 00:16:32,212 --> 00:16:33,960 Ben, I am begging you. 386 00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:35,622 Have your party and go home. 387 00:16:36,389 --> 00:16:37,539 Bonnie: Okay. 388 00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:40,868 I think our little princess is almost ready. 389 00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,781 So, what do you say we throw my little girl a party, huh? 390 00:16:43,782 --> 00:16:44,982 - All right. - (Chuckling) 391 00:16:45,315 --> 00:16:46,911 Oh, my God. 392 00:16:46,912 --> 00:16:49,707 It's so hard to believe that you're already a year old. 393 00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:51,611 No one thought we'd make it. 394 00:16:51,612 --> 00:16:52,864 Mostly me. 395 00:16:54,371 --> 00:16:56,070 But there were moments where I could see you too 396 00:16:56,071 --> 00:16:57,386 had your doubts. 397 00:16:58,377 --> 00:17:00,027 Emma, before you came along, 398 00:17:00,028 --> 00:17:02,776 a lot of people would have described me as selfish... 399 00:17:02,777 --> 00:17:04,000 Narcissistic. 400 00:17:04,001 --> 00:17:06,140 - Ooh, unreliable. - Oh! Inconsiderate. 401 00:17:07,789 --> 00:17:09,700 I was just going to say "immature," 402 00:17:09,701 --> 00:17:11,033 but fine. 403 00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:14,802 Emma, dare I say, 404 00:17:14,803 --> 00:17:16,988 being your father has made me a better man. 405 00:17:17,707 --> 00:17:18,762 (Murmurs) 406 00:17:24,862 --> 00:17:27,373 And when I think that I could have lived my life without you... 407 00:17:28,434 --> 00:17:29,804 It breaks my heart. 408 00:17:31,435 --> 00:17:34,477 Hey! What the hell is going on here? 409 00:17:35,198 --> 00:17:36,488 Um... 410 00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,213 Balloons, clowns, cakes... 411 00:17:39,214 --> 00:17:40,985 it's a birthday party, dude. 412 00:17:43,781 --> 00:17:45,333 Balloon baguette? 413 00:17:46,423 --> 00:17:47,783 (Mouthing) 414 00:17:50,990 --> 00:17:52,853 Jenny, you can't keep my son from me. 415 00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:54,462 I want to be a father to little Ben. 416 00:17:54,463 --> 00:17:56,300 - Son? - Wait, little Ben? 417 00:17:56,301 --> 00:17:57,827 Keep his son from him? 418 00:17:57,828 --> 00:18:00,301 You told me he didn't want to have anything to do with you. 419 00:18:00,635 --> 00:18:02,930 Because it was easier than telling you the truth. 420 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,300 Ben's not the father. 421 00:18:05,624 --> 00:18:07,141 I'm not? Are you sure? 422 00:18:07,142 --> 00:18:08,650 'Cause that kid looks just like me. 423 00:18:10,201 --> 00:18:11,849 Well, then, who is the father? 424 00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:13,377 Bobby Junior. 425 00:18:14,056 --> 00:18:16,702 (Stammers) My old partner's kid, the convict? 426 00:18:16,703 --> 00:18:18,291 Oh, ho! That's great! 427 00:18:18,292 --> 00:18:20,293 He's even a worse choice than this idiot. 428 00:18:20,294 --> 00:18:23,078 Hey! Frankie DeLuca, you would be lucky 429 00:18:23,079 --> 00:18:25,214 if my son impregnated your daughter. 430 00:18:25,215 --> 00:18:26,101 Eh! 431 00:18:27,095 --> 00:18:28,694 But I didn't, right? 432 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,216 No. 433 00:18:31,217 --> 00:18:32,466 When I told you I was pregnant, 434 00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:33,783 you just assumed it was Ben's, 435 00:18:33,784 --> 00:18:35,599 - so I let you think that. - Well, yeah! 436 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,206 I never thought he'd be dumb enough to come back here. 437 00:18:38,207 --> 00:18:40,783 You'd be shocked at the things he's dumb enough to do. 438 00:18:41,874 --> 00:18:42,890 I'm sorry. 439 00:18:43,231 --> 00:18:44,646 But I gotta say... 440 00:18:44,647 --> 00:18:46,148 Emma's a lucky girl. 441 00:18:47,354 --> 00:18:49,565 She's also a very sleepy girl. 442 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,271 I think we might have missed our birthday window, people. 443 00:18:53,917 --> 00:18:56,188 Hey, where's Riley? 444 00:18:56,189 --> 00:18:58,231 Saw her headed for the freezer 445 00:18:58,232 --> 00:19:00,055 with a very big spoon. 446 00:19:06,996 --> 00:19:08,041 (Sighs) 447 00:19:12,546 --> 00:19:13,915 Riley, it's gonna be okay. 448 00:19:13,916 --> 00:19:15,939 No! It's not. 449 00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:18,586 I mean, I don't even know who I am. 450 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,609 You're Riley Perrin. 451 00:19:22,610 --> 00:19:24,104 The sweetest girl I know. 452 00:19:24,495 --> 00:19:26,032 No offense, but... 453 00:19:26,604 --> 00:19:28,921 It's kind of hard to take you seriously right now. 454 00:19:32,427 --> 00:19:33,924 I mean, I just don't get it. 455 00:19:34,711 --> 00:19:37,106 You know, why didn't she want me? 456 00:19:37,107 --> 00:19:39,736 Why did she give me up? Didn't she love me? 457 00:19:39,737 --> 00:19:41,583 She loved you so much 458 00:19:41,584 --> 00:19:43,691 she had to let you go. 459 00:19:44,312 --> 00:19:45,988 What are you doing here? 460 00:19:45,989 --> 00:19:47,315 I called her. 461 00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:48,692 I thought you two should talk. 462 00:19:48,693 --> 00:19:50,666 And I'll never say no to ice cream. 463 00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,038 I mean, I am your mom. 464 00:19:55,022 --> 00:19:57,922 Yeah. So I've heard. 465 00:20:07,421 --> 00:20:09,028 I'm sorry I couldn't tell you. 466 00:20:09,771 --> 00:20:11,738 It's just that I saw how happy you were 467 00:20:12,215 --> 00:20:15,088 and how beautiful and how smart and... 468 00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:18,133 And I knew I'd made the right decision. 469 00:20:19,917 --> 00:20:21,510 But we could have been together. 470 00:20:23,067 --> 00:20:24,548 You could have been with me. 471 00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,025 I'm with you now. 472 00:20:30,017 --> 00:20:31,886 Please let that be enough. 473 00:20:33,477 --> 00:20:34,964 See? 474 00:20:36,464 --> 00:20:38,275 Isn't this nice? 475 00:20:39,831 --> 00:20:41,093 (Shouts) 476 00:20:42,539 --> 00:20:44,893 Yep, still creepy. 477 00:20:48,930 --> 00:20:50,508 Okay, people, let's do this. 478 00:20:51,056 --> 00:20:52,820 - Hi, sweetie. - Where's the cake? 479 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,471 Oh. Was this for Emma? 480 00:20:58,472 --> 00:21:00,155 Yes, it's for Emma. 481 00:21:00,156 --> 00:21:02,824 You know how you know? It says "Emma" on it. 482 00:21:02,825 --> 00:21:05,606 See? Now you know how these things happen. 483 00:21:06,693 --> 00:21:07,774 Well, baby, 484 00:21:07,775 --> 00:21:09,386 maybe this isn't what you signed up for. 485 00:21:09,387 --> 00:21:11,663 But you're stuck with us. 486 00:21:12,266 --> 00:21:13,288 (Soft chuckling) 487 00:21:13,289 --> 00:21:15,288 All: Happy Birthday, Emma. 488 00:21:15,289 --> 00:21:17,526 Synced and corrected by Nantinha ~ www.addic7ed.com ~ 489 00:21:17,576 --> 00:21:22,126 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36284

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