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- [Announcer] Tonight, on Wise Guy.
- Frank, you can't die on me, Frank!
- There's every reason to believe there's brain damage.
- We'll pray for Frank.
- Where's Kousakis?
- [Mickey] I don't know where he is.
(razor buzzing)
- Breathe, Frank, breathe!
- Don't be a schmuck!
- I've come to hear your confession.
- I feel guilty.
I'm embracing life, and my best friend
is an inch from death's door.
- C'mon, Frank, I need you alive.
- I gotta stop him from doin' this to me.
(imitates gunshot booming)
("Wiseguy" by Mike Post)
- [Announcer] Previously, on Wiseguy.
- I went to this place, uh, Health Elimination Systems,
and they paid 100 bucks cash to remove waste from hospitals.
And we'd take it to this lot,
and the bags would leak down into this drain,
and the drain ran right by a public school
where there was an outbreak of hepatitis.
So I told this Kousakis guy
that his bags are probably poisoning the school.
He tells me to shut up, so I beat the hell out of him,
and the next day, Kousakis sends two guys after me.
(gunshot booms) (man shouts)
(gunshot booms) (man shouts)
God, forgive me, I killed two men yesterday.
I was gonna throw myself off the bridge.
(dramatic music)
I heard your church bells ringing.
- [Pat] Son, the bells in this church
haven't rung in a decade.
- We're not the only people looking for Vince.
- He's here, Frank, I know it.
- He'd run.
- He's emotionally wounded prey.
He won't move 'til he's healed.
- Get this Vinnie didn't-give-me-a-last-name
and bust him up!
(gunshots booming)
- Frank!
He shot Father Pat and McPike!
I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch!
- Who?
- Kousakis, I'm gonna kill him!
(tires squealing)
(dramatic music)
- The case.
I'll be in touch.
- [Charlie] Father Pat was about to hold a press conference
about HES dumping toxic waste.
- [Harriet] Yeah, but I'm removed from that.
There's no link.
- [Charlie] John's the link.
- [Harriet] You know I practically
raised John from the cradle.
- I know, but he's a man now, Harriet,
a man who can hurt us.
- Then I guess somebody will just have to bust him up.
(electricity popping)
(monitor drones steadily)
- [Doctor] I can't do anything more for him.
(ominous music)
- [Pat] If your soul is still with your body,
through this holy anointment, may the Lord help you
with the grace of the Holy Spirit.
May the Lord who frees your sins--
- Frank? - Save you
and raise you up.
- Frank, you can't die on me, Frank!
Frank (gasping).
Breathe, Frank, breathe!
Breathe!
(ethereal music)
Frank!
(ethereal music)
(moves into ominous music)
Start breathing, Frank!
(breath gurgles)
Frank, Frank?
- Bells.
- It's unbelievable!
Get him into surgery, code blue!
- [Doctor] Hit him with oxygen.
(dramatic music) (staff talking urgently)
- [Man] Got it right here.
(staff talking urgently) (dramatic music)
(dramatic fanfare)
(Mickey gasps)
- Thank you, Mr. Kenneth.
(dramatic music)
- I want nothing here with my name on it.
You check these out while I look around.
- [Charlie] These ledgers show cash transactions
from Kousakis to you, 10,000 last month,
12,500 the month before.
(dramatic music)
- [Harriet] Johnny was smarter than I thought,
keeping records like this.
(dramatic music)
- Where's Kousakis?
- Ow (spits), I don't know where he is.
- Give yourself a break, Mickey.
- I don't know.
- Charlie!
- Mr. Kenneth.
(dramatic music)
- Wait, come on.
- Italian? - Huh?
Yeah.
(ominous music)
Wait, what are you doing?
I'm telling ya I don't know where he is.
He didn't tell me nothing.
Please, come on here.
I've always been square with you.
(ominous music)
- [Charlie] Tell Harriet what she needs to know.
(bowling pin thuds) (Mickey groans)
- Hide and watch, Harriet (laughs drily).
You think you could take HES from me?
You threw it to me like it was a bone,
and I, I made a success out of it.
I had vision, I could see what it would become.
AIDS was a blessing.
Nobody wants to cart that stuff out of hospitals anymore.
Who ya gonna call?
Me (laughs).
Yeah, you try, Harriet,
try and take, try and take HES away from me.
(ominous music)
(sighs)
Mm.
You get dead, you and Charlie.
(ominous music)
(sighs)
(ominous music)
Two days in this rat hole,
and then I'm gonna be running the old bag's organization.
All mine! (laughs)
Boojah! (bird squawks)
(ominous music)
I gotta go to the bathroom.
- [Announcer] Security, extension 304.
Security, extension 304.
- Did you shoot those two guys?
- Yeah, they were gonna kill me.
Kousakis sent them.
You find Kousakis, you'll find Emmet, too.
- Emmet Soul's head of the Board of Environmental Safety.
- Yeah, I sent him a note
about the HES and the toxic dumping.
Next thing I know he sends these two guys after me.
They knew right where to find me, too.
- I can't believe that Kousakis would wanna kill me.
Do you know I baptized that little bastard?
- He said, "Bells."
(ominous music)
(Mickey groaning)
(bowling pin thuds) (Mickey shouts)
(bowling pin thuds) (Mickey shouts)
(Mickey moaning) (ominous music)
(Mickey gasping)
- Kousakis killed 'em.
He shot the priest.
He got out of the car, that's all I know.
- He got out of the car and?
- We drove away from the church.
He made me stop the car and he took off.
He was crazy.
- And where did he go?
- He ran to the corner and he disappeared.
He told me to meet him at Temple Beth Jacob
after Friday night services.
- Friday night at the temple?
- Yeah.
- And then what?
- That's it, I swear, that's all I know.
I swear to God.
- Take those boxes out to the car.
(ominous music)
Oh, Charlie, Johnny was such an adorable kid.
(ominous music)
Okay, Mr. Kenneth, let's go.
(ominous music)
(Mickey moaning)
(Mickey mumbling frantically)
(ominous music)
(door bangs)
- All done.
- [Harriet] Let's go, Mr. Kenneth.
- I love a rainy morning.
Makes me want to curl up in front of a fire
with a mug of hot chocolate (laughs quickly).
- (laughs) What was that place
we always used to go with Saul for breakfast?
- Em Leo's.
- Ah, matzah brei
and the only schmaltz herring north of San Francisco.
- Lox, egg with onions,
the challah so fresh you didn't even have to chew.
You know why I always liked Leo?
In the back, he always had
some fresh scrapple for the goyim (laughs).
- Tref.
I wonder if Leo's is still there.
- Well, if it is, the schmaltz is on me.
- Mr. Kenneth, Leo's (laughs).
- Anybody here who is immediate family?
- Yes, we are.
- He's breathing on his own but he's in a coma.
There's every reason to believe there's brain damage.
To what extent, we don't know,
until or if he comes out of it.
- He said something about bells.
I heard him.
- Possibly some kind of a voiced aspiration.
Speech or thought in his state would be impossible.
- Well, aren't there some specialists we oughta call in?
- I'd say Father Pat can do more for him than anyone else.
- (sighs) Thank you, doctor.
- [Announcer] Radiologist to CCU.
Radiologist to CCU.
- We better get you to a safe house.
- I wanna go back to the church.
- You can't run away, Vinnie.
- I'm not running.
I need what I can get there.
I won't run away.
- (sighs) You'll have to be watched.
- (sighs) I understand that.
(tires squealing)
(dramatic music)
- Well, well, well, look who's come home to roost.
(ominous music)
They think they're gonna starve me out.
But I got food.
They don't know how ready I am.
(ominous music)
(hinges squeaking)
(ominous music)
- I can't believe John would do this.
- Well, you don't have to worry about him.
He tried to kill you to stop the press conference.
It's too late, cat's outta the bag about HES.
OCB knows about the toxic dumping.
They probably picked up Emmet Soul by now.
If he tries to come back here,
those agents will grab him before he steps one foot inside.
They got pictures, Father.
They know what he looks like, you're safe.
- [Pat] And what about you, Vince?
- [Vinnie] What do you mean?
- You came here for a reason.
You mustn't let the horrible thing that happened
make you lose sight of that.
Sanctuary is about healing.
We'll pray for Frank, and through our prayers,
perhaps you'll find your own healing.
- They know what I look like, huh?
(ominous music)
Thank you, Lord.
(ominous music)
(razor buzzing)
- Mr. Soul is the subject of a federal investigation.
It supersedes Seattle authority, sir.
- Yeah, well, we got him first.
- (sighs) Look, you can let me talk to him.
That is not gonna jeopardize your arrest.
- You're with the DEA?
- I'm OCB.
- Eh, it's gotta be DEA.
Where else do they let ya look like that?
- I'm OCB, sir. - What's that?
FBI or CIA?
- Are you done with the alphabet soup?
Look, you gonna let me see this man or not?
- N-O-T.
- Captain Dunk.
Excuse me.
Where are we holding Soul?
- Interrogation room A.
- Thanks.
- Wait a second.
Who was that, where's his ID?
- He doesn't need one.
- Why not?
- That's Charlie Boden.
- I don't wanna go to prison, Charlie.
- You won't.
- End up some lifer's wife.
- Shut up, Stretch, I haven't got a lot of time.
- Being bent over by big, ugly men.
I'm 62 years old, Charlie, I can't make it.
I'll have a heart attack.
I'm not healthy!
- We've taken care of you.
Now Harriet and I need your help.
You're not going to jail.
Everything's being laid on Kousakis.
Your only task, Emmet, is to shut up
and talk through your attorney.
Harriet's sending Ricky Finkelstein down
to handle this for you.
- Ricky?
- Yeah, everything's gonna be fine.
Just let Ricky handle it.
- Okay, Charlie, I'm sorry.
- Forget it.
Everything's fixed.
You know what Harriet and I did last night?
- What?
- We tortured a guy.
(ominous music)
- Hello, boys.
God bless you for being here.
I can't tell you what it means to Father Pat.
- Thank you, Father.
- [Charlie] Emmet's got the program, Harriet, don't worry.
- Oh, just as long as you didn't end it
at a friendly schmooze.
You gotta push that guy's rear
right up to the hot pipe, you know that.
- Stretch is a born follower,
can't wait for hoops to jump through.
Only worry we got now is, mm, is finding Johnny.
- Are you alright?
- [Charlie] Harriet, I've been fighting
that schmaltz herring most of the day.
- Ha, goyim.
- Jews.
- [Charlie] Harriet, is somebody there?
- I've come to hear your confession.
- [Charlie] Harriet, Harriet!
- Johnny, you look terrible.
Why the hell would you do that to yourself?
- Johnny?
Harriet, is Kousakis there?
- Shut up, Charlie.
I got people looking for me, remember?
- Is that Kousakis?
Harriet, who's there?
Are you alright?
You want me to come over, should I send someone?
I can send some units, Harriet.
- I said shut up, powderhead.
Yes, it's John Kousakis.
- [Harriet] We've been worrying about you, Johnny.
- Oh, yeah.
You're the udder for the milk of human kindness.
- [Charlie] Don't make this personal.
- (snickers) Don't make this personal.
(laughs) Look what she did to me!
10 years of rolling around in garbage.
I'm a wanted man because of her.
- If it's an apology you want, you got it.
If it's a confession, fine, alright.
It's my fault.
It is my fault
that I let you work with toxics all those years.
I just wasn't thinking, Johnny.
- You thought garbage was my life, my dream (laughs),
that I came home from Little League
and I ran down into the basement
and stacked wastepaper baskets
and hoped that someday I would get to do it for real.
(basket clatters)
(John chuckles)
- You know, I think maybe it might have started with Saul,
but he was just trying to give you a leg up.
Maybe he pushed you too fast,
running HES right after college.
- No, no, I liked it.
I liked running the business and I was good at it.
Saul promised me I'd move up.
He said, you do good, Johnny,
and there's more for you at the table.
Then he died and I get stuck at the table
feeding off the scraps that you left me.
He warned me about you, Harriet.
The bitch is cheap, he said.
She wants it all.
You know, I was getting real close with Jeanine,
and he told me, don't do it, Johnny.
Look at me, bleeding ulcers, Milk of Magnesia.
Do I look like I wanna join the country club
and hang out with Presbyterians?
Little fish on their pants,
those fa-kak-ta tassels on their shoes?
(laughs) Listen to me, Johnny.
If you need it that bad, rent it.
- [Charlie] John, listen to me.
You're not well, you need help.
We can help you.
- I'm fine.
For the first time in my life, I feel in control.
- Johnny, look at yourself there.
You're deteriorating.
- We can fix what happened with the shooting.
If the fed pulls through, there won't be a murder charge.
- Either way, we plead insanity.
- The most you'll do is a couple of years,
and it won't even be in prison.
It'll be at the Dalmayer facility.
They can help you there.
(ominous music)
- That's for the criminally insane.
I'm not insane.
- [Charlie] Oh, John, you are nuts.
(ominous music)
- I didn't say that, Johnny.
- Nuts.
Nuts.
(glass clatters)
(sighs)
(scoffs)
While you enjoyed your lousy golf,
I covered myself with medical waste.
While you took vacations to The Greenbrier,
I sat in an office and dispensed cash to truck drivers
who glowed in the dark.
And for the last two days, Harriet,
I've had to eat sweet and sour cabbage with mayonnaise.
- Johnny, don't be a schmuck.
(Johnny shouts) (Harriet screams)
- John, John, what are you doing?
Harriet, Harriet?
(golf club thudding)
Kousakis, you crazy bastard, what are you doing?
Harriet, say something, Harriet!
- Harriet can't come to the phone right now.
She's in the rough.
(phone hums)
(sirens wailing)
(radios squawking)
(investigators murmuring)
- Mr. Boden, you don't have to see this.
- Oh, Lord, oh, Lord.
Harriet, John Kousakis did this.
I have it on good authority
he's meeting some of his goons this Friday
at Temple Beth Jacob.
- [Vinnie] How's Frank?
- [Daniel] You know, the doctor said he's got brain damage.
They're just trying to determine the extent of it.
- Can you stay for dinner?
- Uh, thanks, Father, but I have plans.
- With your lady friend.
- Ha, yeah, kinda makes me want to stay in Seattle, Father.
- You're in love, that's good.
- Huh, you know what?
I just might be.
(sighs) But I feel guilty.
(sighs) I came here to help with Vinnie's problem.
Now I'm embracing life and my best friend
is an inch from death's door.
It's all too weird to understand.
- I always wonder what God thinks.
Our friend was standing on a bridge
looking down into the icy waters,
wondering if what his life had come to was worthless.
And I was sitting in my confessional
wondering the exact same thing,
hearing a petty, insincere confession
from a just-in-case penitent.
And I was just as insincere
with the God bless you, go in peace.
When Vinnie walked in,
and he shook my faith to its foundation,
he said, I heard the bells.
They were calling to me, to my last chance.
The bells haven't rung in years.
God brought us here for a purpose,
in this place, at this time, to restore our faith.
- Yeah, isn't that what you guys always say?
- Yes, we do, but this time, I believe it.
But if you want facts in which to base your belief,
fact, through all the traumas that brought us here,
a facility that has been poisoning the water of this city
has been shut down.
Children who were getting sick are now safe.
It's as though we've all been given another chance.
(ominous music)
(John sighs)
(oxygen hisses)
- Hi, Frank.
You know something, Frank?
You, you were my
link to reality,
the shaded reality, the gray areas.
I know you know
that I always wanted to see things in black and white.
Well, you keep me from making that mistake.
Course, I don't think it was intentional or anything.
Most of the time, you just irritated the hell outta me,
with you sticking to the system like you do.
But you are a good teacher.
I learned a lot of things from you.
The system, the system is neutral.
It's us.
Whether things turn out good or bad,
it all depends on us
and how we use the system, or don't use it,
or twist it (sighs).
When I came in the room, I saw you laying there,
and I thought you were dead.
I was never more afraid.
You know, I've lost a lot of people,
a lot of family,
and I suffered it,
but it didn't scare me
like the thought of you being gone.
When the doctors came in, they told me,
"Mr. McPike will probably have brain damage."
I thought to myself, yeah, so what?
What else is new?
Come on, Frank, I know you heard that.
Come on, Frank, gimme a smile or a laugh or something.
Gimme one of those sarcastic looks you always do.
Come on, Frank,
gimme something, please.
I know this is selfish, Frank, I know it is.
But I do need you.
I need you whole and well.
I need you alive in whatever form it takes.
It's just that
I can't imagine life without you.
(somber music)
- Hello, Mr. Boden.
(imitates gunshots booming)
Goodbye, Charlie.
(imitates gunshots booming)
Boden lies bleeding on the steps of Temple Beth Jacob,
and for Kousakis, everything's Jake.
Soon the truck will arrive from Health Elimination Services
to cart away the human garbage,
and that's the way it is.
Goodnight and good luck.
Goodnight, Chet, goodnight, David.
Thanking you for your time this time.
Until next time, oh (chuckles).
Who's there?
Whew.
Kenneth, what's the frequency?
(laughs hoarsely)
(hisses)
Oh (hisses), oh, oh.
Oh (hisses).
(ominous music)
(dramatic fanfare)
(shouts)
(gasps) Get outta here!
Get outta here.
Just leave me alone.
(sighs)
(dramatic music)
Oh.
Father Pat.
I gotta stop him from doing this to me.
(ominous music)
- [Vinnie] Father Pat?
(ominous music)
Father Pat?
Father Pat?
Father Pat?
- Oh, oh, God bless. - Sorry, I'm sorry.
- I had the strangest dream.
I dreamt I was trapped inside the mouth of a cow.
- Isn't that the belly of a whale?
- (laughs) I'm forgetting my own theology.
Sure smelled like the mouth of a cow, whew.
- Yeah, Father, how do I get up to the belfry?
- Why?
- I wanna see the bells.
I wanna see if I can't fix 'em.
I wanna ring 'em for Frank.
- How is he?
- He's the same.
I know ringing the bells won't make any difference,
but I'd like to do it anyway.
- It's a lot of hard work.
- I'd like to do it.
- Then it's a good project for you and for this old church.
Follow me.
- That damn dog has been at my cabbage!
(smacking mouth)
Now there's a friendly face, pow, zoom.
I belong at the Dalmayer state facility, huh?
Well, who's this gun pointing at?
Not me.
(ominous music)
(hinges clanking)
- [Vinnie] Ah, it stinks up here.
- It's that damn dog!
(dramatic fanfare)
(ominous music)
Ooh!
(Vinnie grunts)
โช All around the mulberry bush
โช The monkey chased the weasel
โช The monkey thought it was all in fun โช
โช Pop goes the weasel
(laughing maniacally)
- Father Pat!
Better get the OCB guys up here.
Kousakis is here.
- No, no!
That's alright, that's alright.
I'll be right down.
- No!
(dramatic fanfare)
(body thudding)
(John shouting)
(dramatic music)
Uncle Mike, Nona, I'm glad you're here.
How's Frank?
- Ah, well, no change.
We got that autopsy on Kousakis, though.
He was full of mercury.
I guess all those years at HES,
he must've come into a lot of contact with it.
- [Pat] He was mad as a hatter.
- What do you mean?
- That's where the expression comes from.
They used to use mercury to form the brims of the hat.
They put the hat down, roll the mercury around.
Poor fellas who held that job,
well, they got poisoned by the mercury,
and they went as mad as a hatter.
(Daniel chuckles)
- He might've been a nice guy at one time.
- It's not right,
and the real beast in all of this is Charlie Boden,
and Charlie Boden is still sitting in his office.
- Cross your fingers.
(bells clanging)
("Wiseguy" by Mike Post)
(dramatic music)
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