Original subtitles

[air sirens]

go away

what what WHAT

no there's not an emergency

i'm trying to sleep

don't mess with me

i'm serious

what is it

is the house on fire?

yeah fam shit's lit

mkay then i'm going to bed

get out of my room

you're just messing with me

what?

zombies really?

you're kidding right?

okay what's going on

i know what air raid sirens sound rike sound like

what's-

tell me what's going on

please

don't make something up

okay zombies don't exist

what's going on

are we getting bombed

tell-

stop pulling my leg

i'm in charge here you have to tell me what's going on otherwise mom and dad are gonna freak when they come back and i didn't handle this right

could you please talk any faster they still have a chance to read what's on the screen and i find that unacceptable ah the woes of subtitling shit

oh my god okay zombies don't exist

jesus

okay i have to find some clothes

what do you mean we don't have time

no i have to get some clothes on i'm in my pajamas

wait wait

where are you going?

hold on a second i'm- i'm

hold X3 let me think X3

okay i'm the older sister

i'm- i'm in charge i need to figure out what i'm gonna do

no you don't know what to do i mean

th-the air raid sirens are going off

what does that mean x 2 that means we're getting bombed right? th-the air raid sirens are going off

what does that mean x 2 that means we're getting bombed right?

oh my god stop with the zombies

zombies don't exist

okay there's not zombies coming after us

okay hold on hold on

mom and dad have a basement right?

that's where you were going?

well hold on a second we gotta figure out i mean ma-maybe there's people outside that we can help we can bring inside right?

no

there's no zombies

okay? stop with that

i know you're-

oh my god there's someone out there

there's someone out there that needs our help

what do you mean?

what do you mean we're not gonna help them!?

that guy

[zombie noises]

he needs our help [zombie noises]

look at him he's hurt [zombie noises]

look at him he's hurt

oh my god he's so-

please please can we go out and get him

he's- he's really hurt

oh my god thank god

one of the neighbors is going to get him

[zombie noise] one of the neighbors is going to get him

[zombie noise]

[biting noise]

[screaming] [biting noise]

[screaming]

[more screaming]

[gunshot]

oh my god [gunshot]

oh my god

[more zombie noises]

he just ate his- [more zombie noises]

[more zombie noises]

oh my g- [more zombie noises]

[more zombie noises]

[machine gun]

they're everywhere [machine gun]

[machine gun]

oh my-

are these a-ar-are these...

[zombie screaming]

[gunshot]

zombies?

[woman screaming] zombies?

[woman screaming]

oh my god

[biting and screaming]

[car driving away]

[chainsaws?] [car driving away]

[chainsaws?]

shh

shh

zombies

a-are they...

everywhere?

oh god they're surrounding the house

where were you gonna go?

the basement

the basement

okay

okay let's go x 3

[upbeat xev bellringer theme]

does this door lock?

are we safe down here?

can they get in here?

shh

[glass breaking]

our neighbor

did you see what happened to her?

zombies at her face, ask dewey he know more about it did you see what happened to her?

did you see what happened to her?

shut up

if they didn't eat her brains (????)

they're not zombies

they're not zombies

what?

you were watching the tv you knew this was happening? why didn't you wake me up

you tried?

well you should've tried harder

now we're here s-

stuck in the closet down in the basement

didn't r kelly write a song about that? featured a gun and a midget and a hell of a lot of weird shit?

okay stop stop stop stop

okay stop for a second let me think let me think

okay i'm the big sister i'm in charge

mom and dad left me in charge

funny, i don't recall them saying "in case of a zombie outbreak Xev's in charge" do you?

mom and dad

where are they?

they're still out there somewhere

don't say that

it's not just you and me okay?

mom and dad are still out there safe we just-

we have to wait for 'em

okay?

we have to wait for them here

you said it's safe down here right?

okay

okay

what are we gonna do for food and water?

we're in a closet

there's no-

no there's not

i have to go back upstairs i have to-

why not?

they can't get in

there's just like

like dead guys or something right?

[loud sound]

[footsteps?]

[door getting kicked down]

[loud noises]

they got inside [loud noises]

they got inside

oh my god

i could have been up there they cou-

[loud noise] i could have been up there they cou-

[loud noise]

okay

are you sure it's safe down here?

reinforced doors?

but we don't have any food it doesn't matter how-

we're probably gonna survive for maybe three days until we run out of-

stockpiled?

what?

you've stockpiled-

water and food?

what're you talking about?

what is that?

this

the zombie survival guide?

why do you have this?

a complete-

protection from the living dead

this is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo

you mean you got a bunch of supplies and stuff

just because of what you read in here?

zombies didn't exist before now

i mean how-

how good could this book really be?

top ten lessons for surviving a zombie attack

organize before they rise

they feel no fear why should you

use your head cut of theirs

blades don't need reloading

(????)

protection tight close short hair

short hair!?

you mean i'm gonna have to cut off my hair!?

get up the staircase then destroy it

get out of the car get onto the bike

keep moving keep low keep quiet

keep alert

no place is safe only safer

the zombies may be gone but the threat lives on

this can't be a real book

i mean how could the information in here be real at all i mean...

this-

general rules

collective response keep discipline be alert

use guides

defence

the private residence defending your home

preparation part one

the home preparation part 2 supplies surviving and attack

immediate defence

maybe we should...

maybe we should be reading this

you read this whole thing already?

well so what? i need to read it too

well what if something happens to you? what if you turn into a zombie or something?

i need to know

god i can't believe you

you read this whole thing and zombies didn't even exist then

i bet you wanted this to happen didn't you?

look at you you s-stockpiled all that water and the food over there and...

you even-

you even built a reinforced door

how would you-

i shouldn't be complaining

no it's good that you did all that stuff

i mean i don't get it i don't get w-

why

i don't get why but...

well i-

i'm still your big sister so i-

i don't care if you did all the work okay

i need to at least...

be as knowledgeable as you

okay?

i'm in charge

mom and dad said so

just-

i need to start reading this book and-and then

and then we'll go from there

and then i make all the decisions from here on out

see

it's chapterized at page 65

private residence

private residence

defending your home

for class 1 conflicts most people's home's-

is this a class 1?

i-it is?

most people's homes will provide adequate shelter there's...

no need to flee the city or town

as soon as you hear that the dead are walking

in fact this is highly discouraged

i hope the writer of this book got some royalties 'cause fuck man he's like a quarter of the script

in the first hours of a zombie attack most of the population will try desperately to escape

roads will become a mass of stationary vehicles and panicked people

a situation that's rife with the-

potential for violence

i can't believe this is a real book

until the living destroy the dead or the dead overrun the living trying to flee will only add more bodies to the anarchy

oh my god

so load your weapons prepare for a fight but stay put

stay safe and stay alert

and what better place to do so than in the comfort of your own home

is this why you stockpiled all that stuff here?

did you think it was gonna-

well yeah th-there was that virus going around but-

hmm maybe i shouldn't've picked this one to subtitle, considering the times and all

you didn't actually think it was gonna be like a z-

zombie virus did you?

i'm i-i know i shouldn't be laughing at-

you anymore

i mean you were right

listen

we both need to get some sleep i-

i'm gonna keep reading until i- i can't stay up anymore and...

then we gotta figure out a plan together okay?

just-

just- just try to sleep okay

[moaning]

[storm noises] [moaning]

[storm noises]

[book page turning] [storm noises]

[storm noises]

[moaning] [storm noises]

[moaning]

why is it so dark in here?

[thunder]

what happened to the light [thunder]

what happened to the light

what happened to the light?

damn she could be a guard in a splinter cell game

hey!

where are you?

there you are

oh i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm just trying to-

where's the light?

did you turn it off?

you didn't?

oh god the power's out

is that why it's so cold in here?

no that's just 'cause you sleep in like your underwear, and we're in a basement

can i just-

let me just-

crawl over you just-

i'm sorry

i'm sorry let me- i wanna check

and see if it's actual light (????)

[clicking of light fixture]

oh my god [clicking of light fixture]

oh my god

[click]

it's actually out

[whimpering]

[more whimpering]

what're we gonna do?

do you- i mean do you have a back-up light or something?

you do

no no no don't go don't go

can i just-

can i just hold on to you?

well don't leave me in the dark

just don't leave me alone okay?

i- uh- let me just- okay you can look for the lantern let me just hold on to you

just- here give me your hand

[hand rubbing]

i'm sorry i'm sorry [hand rubbing]

i'm sorry i'm sorry

okay

i can...

[thunder] i can...

[thunder]

let me just (????)

you said it's in a drawer?

is this it?

thank god

never thought i'd be so happy to see a light

god

[thunder]

i can't believe you did all this stuff

i mean p-plan this all out

stockpiling all that stuff i mean...

how much water did you get?

how did you get that? i know your allowances you don't even-

one bottle at a time?

wow

THEY ALL CALLED ME NUTS WELL WHO'S A SQUIRREL NOW!? HUH!?

and how much food did you get?

are you sure?

that's gonna last us like...

a few years

we won't need to stay in here for a few years

'course i mean i-i didn't read very much in the book but

well it- it-

can stay at conflict-

wh-what was it class 1 conflict 1 someth-

this might just blow over

i mean...

you did say you heard on the tv it was...

national right?

i mean was the military doing anything?

at all?

is there, an antidote or anything? a cure?

[thunder]

so we could s-

we could be stuck here for a very long time

it just- it's just you and me

god it's gonna be boring

i hope mom and dad are okay

[thunder]

i can't believe this is happening

and there's no way other people...

that we know are getting the same thing

none of my friends had any idea this was gonna happen

i mean they're probably all-

zombies or something

god

brad is probably gone

never gonna get laid again

did you have any girlfriends or anything like that?

i spent all my allowance on buying water bottles and non-perishable foods, what do you think? did you have any girlfriends or anything like that?

did you have any girlfriends or anything like that?

probably not

just me and my brother

who knew it would ever come down to just that

oh god it's cold

i should've worn better pajamas

if only i knew there was gonna be a zombie apocalypse

oh thank you

that feels good

oh keep rubbing

i don't know why it got so cold all of a sudden

thank you

i'm scared too

it feels good

you're cold too

how's that

how's that feel

is it okay?

hold me tighter

i'm just-

i'm just scared

i didn't think i was gonna wake up today to-

have to deal with this

clearly you did

thank you

here let me hold you closer

i just- i never thought you were gonna get so grown up

under these circumstances

i never thought i was gonna have to rely on you for anything

it's really just us

am i gonna be-

it's gonna be years and years before we see someone else again

all those people we know they're all-

we're never gonna see them again

thank you

you don't have a heater or something in here

we might have to get closer to stay warm

here

there

(????)

a little closer

don't worry about me

you always worried about me

you did

you still do

you know i'm the older sister i should be worrying about you

you're cold

it's hard for me to think of you as...

i mean the way you did (????)

i mean you put all this stuff together

it's crazy to imagine if it weren't for you i'd-

i'd be dead

it's true

never though my little brother was gonna safe my life

don't know what i'd

what i'd do without you

does that feel alright?

it's the least i could do

you're so mature

you've really grown up

i don't know i thought you were crazy for reading that book but...

not so crazy now

here

get a little closer

here let me wrap my legs around you

that's okay you can get on

on top of me a little bit

mind if i like wrap my arms around you?

feels good

it's gonna be this way

forever?

just me and my little brother trapped in this closet forever

what're we gonna do to pass the time?

did you get any board games (????)

no?

no

didn't think of entertainment did you?

guess that's the least of our worries

it's crazy to think about though isn't it?

everyone we know is gone

i mean i mean-

what if everybody else is gone too?

i mean what if it's...

what if it's really just us

listen

i don't think anybody else planned this like you did

OH COME ON, ARE WE GONNA PRETEND PREPPERS DON'T EXIST. and even without preppers i couldn't have been the only one to buy that book, nor be the only one to take it seriously people are nuts

and if they did they're not coming out any time soon

right?

it's crazy to think about

the dead are gonna be roaming

the earth

what're we gonna do?

i mean

how are we gonna repopulate the planet

it's gonna be years before we find anyone else

it's just us

i'm cold

and i'm scared

hold me

hold me

hold me close

i'm so scared

make me feel better

we have to rely on each other

i mean...

think about it

we have to make babies

if- if we don't...

somewhere there was a giant logic leap i saw it happen i didn't stop it, but there definitely was a GIANT logic leap

we have to

for humanity

don't you think?

we don't know who else is out there

it's just us

ah yes the sexiest thing i can imagine: crying during sex

come close

i'm so scared

can't keep me warm

you're so grown up now

never saw you this way

little brother

i need you to be closer

god

i mean we're gonna have to do this...

until we find other people

it's gonna have to be this way

don't you think?

we'll take care of each other

we'll take care of each oth-

what?

no

no no no

listen

listen

i know i know what you're thinking

but you have to listen to me okay?

i know

just-

the circumstances are different now okay?

i know you're my brother

i'm your big sister

just-

it's just you and me don't you understand

we have to trust each other

yeah not thrust into each other we have to trust each other

we have to trust each other

we have to be able to rely on each other

i mean we don't even know if there's people out there anymore

right?

we could be the only ones

[thunder]

we have to do it for humanity we have to- [thunder]

[thunder]

listen you have to put a baby in me

okay?

do you hear me?

[there's just a shit ton of thunder going on from here on in]

[the wonderful sound of titty slapping]

you have to do it

you have to

i'm in charge do you understand?

you're just gonna have to listen to-

to me

you're gonna have to do as i say from here on out

we're gonna have to do this every day

until we find out that there's other people out there

and won't we look silly then until we find out that there's other people out there

until we find out that there's other people out there

because as far as we know there's not

it's just-

you and me

so we have to do it

we have to make babie-

you have to cum inside of me

you have to do it

you have to-

it doesn't feel right you have to do it

you have to do it

because i said so

cum inside of me

you have to trust me

trust me

i'm doing it for us

we have to watch over each other

don't we

i'm watching out for you

just do as your big sister says

cum inside of me

do it

do it

cum

do it

you see that wasn't so bad

that wasn't so bad

listen we have to do that every night

we have to do this every night

i'm gonna keep this inside of me

do you hear me?

we have to have sex every night

until i have a baby

because we don't know who's out there we don't know if anyone's gonna safe us we don't know-

what's going on

we have to watch out for each other now

okay?

you know?

you're all i've got

i love you

i'm in charge now do you understand?

i mean it when i say you have to do everything i say

okay?

i'm still your big sister

to be honest with the plan you've thought up, you're more a breeding sow

and every decision i make is gonna be for us

so when i say you have to cum inside of me every night you have to do it

no matter what

let's go to bed okay

we need to get as much sleep as we can

we don't know what we've got going on tomorrow

will you hold me?

until i fall asleep