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Cred has more electrolytes
2
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,676
than Gatorade or Prime.
3
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:46,780
And now Cred has a new
flavor: Cherry Bubblegum.
4
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,493
Eric, do you really need
to bring three bottles
5
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,162
of that drink to school?
6
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:04,332
Mom, a kid today is defined
by their hydration drink.
7
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:07,735
I have to have more
Cred than anyone else.
8
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,239
♪ I got Cred, bitches ♪
9
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♪ I got Cred ♪
10
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♪ I got Cred, bitches ♪
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00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:16,610
♪ I got Cred ♪
12
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,412
♪ I got Kiwi Lime ♪
13
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:19,813
♪ I got Gooble Grape ♪
14
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,782
♪ You got no Cred, bitches ♪
15
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:23,617
♪ But I got mine ♪
16
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:30,591
♪ We got Cred,
bitches, we got Cred ♪
17
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,493
♪ Our teeth are blue, bitches ♪
18
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,628
♪ Our tongues are red... ♪
19
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:35,949
Yeah, but it's, like, seriously,
20
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:37,585
look at how it's
suddenly everybody now.
21
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,167
Like that Spencer Hollis kid.
22
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:40,601
He never even cared about Cred,
23
00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,056
he just drinks it 'cause
some stupid influencer
24
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:43,371
said it's cool now.
25
00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:45,473
Hey, hey, Clyde,
where's your Cred?
26
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:50,010
Um, it's in my...
I-I already drank it.
27
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,946
See? That's what
I'm talking about.
28
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,336
Clyde likes Cred so much
that he drank all his before noon.
29
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:56,584
That's a real Cred drinker.
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00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:59,086
Unlike all the
poser Cred drinkers
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00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:00,688
like Spencer Hollis!
32
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,022
Fuck you.
33
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,758
Fuck you, Spencer,
you're a fucking poser!
34
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,161
It's literally everywhere now.
35
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,797
These crazy hydration
drinks that say they're healthy,
36
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:12,900
but are loaded with fake
sugars and not safe for children.
37
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,204
Why now? Why are kids
suddenly so into these things?
38
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,738
Online influencers.
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00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,840
They promote this stuff
to kids to make money.
40
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:22,163
I don't know what kind of
scumbags would push adult things
41
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:25,145
on something they know kids will watch.
42
00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:28,382
You guys, we have a big problem.
43
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,318
- What is it?
- It's about the South Park
44
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,186
elementary art teacher.
45
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,687
Mrs. Streibel? What about her?
46
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:36,890
We just found out
that she's been...
47
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,361
doing pornographic
videos on OnlyFans.
48
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:42,430
- No.
- Yes.
49
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:45,165
There's gonna be a
big meeting tonight,
50
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:48,101
and everybody's gonna see it.
51
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,912
Everyone, let's
try to be civil here.
52
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,282
Be civil? How are we
supposed to go home
53
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:37,084
and explain to our children
that their art teacher is a slut?
54
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,321
She is not a slut.
55
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:43,724
Mrs. Streibel is a woman
engaging in a legal activity
56
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:47,027
on a website that
is for adults only.
57
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:50,097
Of course kids are gonna see it.
58
00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:52,453
They see everything on the Internet.
59
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,969
Well, the problem is you guys
buy your kids phones, okay?
60
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,407
Just like you buy them all
these unhealthy hydration drinks.
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00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,141
Don't turn this around on us.
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00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,110
We can't control
what our kids drink
63
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:04,278
or what they watch.
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00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,946
They're your kids.
65
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,081
Many teachers are
struggling to get by
66
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,418
and need ways to
supplement their income.
67
00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:13,321
Mrs. Streibel makes close to
minimum wage as a teacher,
68
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:17,525
but on OnlyFans, she makes
an extra $10,000 a week.
69
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,796
It doesn't matter
how much she made,
70
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:25,333
we're talking about someone
who influences our children.
71
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:27,535
Did she say $10,000 a week?
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00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,537
Listen, we have suspended
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00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,939
Mrs. Streibel
indefinitely, okay?
74
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,807
But over the next few days,
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00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,776
you should probably
talk to your kids
76
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:40,548
about what they might
have seen, m'kay.
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00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:56,229
Hey, Clyde, w-why don't you
come over here and have a seat?
78
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,765
What?
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00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:00,601
Have a seat, pal.
We need to talk to you.
80
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,236
Clyde...
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00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,406
we're understanding
that some tough things
82
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,341
have been going on at school.
83
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,910
Yes. Yes, they have.
84
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,245
All right, well, we know
that some of the stuff
85
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:15,583
you're dealing with
might be kind of disturbing.
86
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,818
Yes, it's totally
disturbing, yes.
87
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:21,455
All right, Clyde, well, we
want to try and help you.
88
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:22,656
Really? You do?
89
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,492
Thank God. Finally.
90
00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:26,827
Yeah, pal, let-let
me explain to you
91
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,363
what "double penetration" is.
92
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:31,699
Double penetration?
93
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,867
See, in your art
teacher's OnlyFans page,
94
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:37,505
her and two men, who
love each other very much,
95
00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:39,973
wanted to express that love...
96
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,875
Dad, nobody cares
about double penetration.
97
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,164
My life at school is awful
because you don't let me drink
98
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,480
hydrating sports drinks
like all the other kids.
99
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,382
Clyde, we've told you,
those things are filled
100
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:49,817
with additives and fake sugar,
101
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:51,585
and they're not
good for children.
102
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,873
You're not even my
real mom, Janice,
103
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,588
so why don't you
shut the fuck up?
104
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,189
Clyde, that's enough.
105
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,111
Every other kid at school
is allowed to have it.
106
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,860
They all have Cred,
but I have zero Cred
107
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,415
because my dad and
his stupid girlfriend
108
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,796
think it's bad for me.
109
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,065
Why do you want to
be like all the other kids?
110
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,100
Shut up, Janice,
you're not my mom!
111
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,989
All right, Clyde, we're trying
to have a nice talk with you
112
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,237
about double penetration,
113
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,105
and you can just
go to your room now.
114
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,407
Fine!
115
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:15,909
Thanks a lot for
making sure your son
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00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:19,246
is the only kid in
school without any Cred!
117
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:28,989
It's like
nobody understands me, you know?
118
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,124
Like, all these stupid
boomers and people over 40
119
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,661
don't know how hard
it is for young people.
120
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,496
- Yeah.
- Like, yo, if you guys
121
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,565
feel the same way, just
leave a comment down below
122
00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:39,366
and smash that like button.
123
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:43,837
You know, the most important
thing is just to be yourself.
124
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,839
And when I feel
like I can't be myself,
125
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,709
that's when I need a hydration
drink that'll pick me up.
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00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:51,545
That's when I need Cred.
127
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:54,247
It's the
coolest sports drink in the world.
128
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,316
Cred is 100% sugar-free.
129
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,086
Cred has electrolytes
so you can ride your bike.
130
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,721
And also, Cred
has more vitamin A
131
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:03,023
than your body could
possibly ever use.
132
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,958
I can't feel my face.
133
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,227
Drink Cred or
you're a piece of shit.
134
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,798
Drink Cred at your school today.
135
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,903
Hey, guys, I know there's
a lot of influencers out there
136
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,571
trying to get your attention.
137
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,040
And I just hope that you'll
maybe take a moment
138
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:24,411
to check out what I have to
say here on My OnlyFans page.
139
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:27,815
I hope you're all doing great,
and if you're watching this PPV,
140
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,750
I hope you'll
consider subscribing.
141
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,251
If you want me
to give a shout-out
142
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,120
for your social
media, I can do that.
143
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,860
And if you want a
custom, just let me know
144
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,376
if there's anything
special you want to see.
145
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,759
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Hey, Sharon,
146
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,460
just supplementing my income.
147
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,129
Are you serious right now?
148
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,998
All right, all right,
Sharon, yes,
149
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,100
I am an OnlyFans model.
150
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,802
And I'm not ashamed of it.
151
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,504
Goddamn it, Randy.
152
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:53,907
What is with all the stigma
Americans have anyway?
153
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,476
It's just my penis,
Sharon. It's not a big deal.
154
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,479
No, it's definitely
not a big deal.
155
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,048
Okay, good. Thank you.
156
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,883
All I'm doing is
taking back control
157
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,985
of my sexuality on a platform
158
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,920
that I can benefit
from financially.
159
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,642
So you're just gonna
sit here and jack off
160
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,625
for four hours a week just
to make a few extra dollars?
161
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,827
I jack off two hours
a week anyways.
162
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,529
Now I just do it
a little bit more
163
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:18,265
and make enough money to
pay for the increase in gas prices.
164
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,568
If your children
find out about this,
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00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,936
they are going to leave home.
166
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,640
Children aren't allowed
on OnlyFans, Sharon.
167
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,508
It's totally safe.
168
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:31,011
Kids aren't gonna see this.
169
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,956
Hey, Butters, Tweek,
you guys got a second?
170
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,825
- For what?
- Okay, you know how, like,
171
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,179
some kids in this
school really like Cred
172
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,561
and others just pretend to,
173
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,349
but really they're posers
like Spencer Hollis?
174
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,965
Well, I think we should
start a Cred affinity group.
175
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,400
What's an affinity group?
176
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,288
It's where you, like,
divide people into groups
177
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,457
and single them out in order
to make other people feel bad.
178
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,439
See, it's like we're
the legit Cred drinkers,
179
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,828
and we should just
let the very coolest kids
180
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:01,975
into our affinity group.
181
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,376
Hey, Clyde.
182
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,178
- Where's your Cred?
- It's just...
183
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:08,115
- it's, in my backpack again.
- That's cool.
184
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,970
You guys think we should let
Clyde into our affinity group?
185
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,551
Yeah, I like Clyde.
186
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,807
Hey, Stan. Do you want
to be in our affinity group?
187
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,243
- What's an affinity group?
- It's like where people separate
188
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,911
into little clubs by, like,
skin color or religious beliefs
189
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,680
and talk about how much better
they are than everyone else.
190
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,348
Usually, white people
can't be in an affinity group,
191
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:22,883
but it's for a drink,
so they have to let us.
192
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,632
That's not what
an affinity group is.
193
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:27,000
Yeah, well, no
one's inviting you, Kyle.
194
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,922
'Cause it looks like you
don't even have any Cred.
195
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,771
Yeah, I do, it's in my backpack.
196
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:33,006
Sure, it's in
his backpack, guys.
197
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,642
Yeah, let's see it, then.
198
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:37,678
It's right here. We drink way
more Cred than you guys do.
199
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,180
Yeah, right. Tweek
drinks four bottles of Cred
200
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,683
for breakfast.
201
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,106
I don't want to be a
part of any affinity group.
202
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,554
It just sounds like trouble.
203
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:48,989
Yeah, well, we don't want you.
204
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,523
'Cause you just
pretend to like Cred
205
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:51,959
'cause it's a fad right now
206
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,581
like all the other
lame-o's in this school.
207
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,228
Hey, guys.
208
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:57,831
Hey, Clyde, you got a sec?
209
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,320
- For what?
- I was just gonna talk to you about your backpack.
210
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,335
- W-What about my backpack?
- Well, it's just...
211
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,124
You know, it's really
best to have a backpack
212
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,959
that's got a water bottle
pouch to put your Cred in.
213
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,360
See, like, see how
y-you can see, like,
214
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,160
you can see my Cred
bottle from the outside?
215
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:10,397
You just go like this,
and everyone-everyone
216
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:11,865
can see your Cred?
You're just like,
217
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,080
"Hey, what's going on?
218
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,014
"Yeah, sweet, check out my Cred.
219
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,849
It's, like, right here."
220
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,785
Um, well, I-I don't think
221
00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:19,439
I can get a new
backpack till my birthday.
222
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,308
Well, maybe just, like,
use some tape or something
223
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:22,756
to make your own bottle pouch?
224
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,044
You know, we definitely
don't want you to look
225
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,492
like you don't have any Cred.
226
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:27,352
All right,
see you in class, brah.
227
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:42,976
Hey, Sharon. Can we talk?
228
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,346
I feel like there's a
lot bad things going on
229
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:49,549
in the world, and it gets so
confusing sometimes, you know?
230
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:53,520
I think, as Americans, we watch
news about things happening
231
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,523
in the Middle East and we
just don't want to get involved.
232
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:58,658
And I know it can feel
like "What can I do?
233
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:01,528
I'm not special, how could
I ever make a difference?"
234
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:04,932
But we can't let
ourselves think like that.
235
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,100
Sometimes what it takes
236
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,703
is just one person
to start a movement.
237
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:13,573
One person, and then
everyone else might follow.
238
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:22,349
I am not subscribing to
your OnlyFans page, Randy.
239
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:25,418
Okay, well, you're a cunt.
240
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,161
Yeah, that looks good.
241
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:36,596
Maybe a little higher
on your side, Butters.
242
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,819
Yeah, that's great. I think
everyone can see that now.
243
00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:41,401
That should definitely
make people feel unwelcome.
244
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:13,967
Hey.
245
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,836
Hey...
246
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,604
What's goin' on?
247
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:21,441
So... are you,
like, selling Cred?
248
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,011
What? Selling hydration
drinks on school grounds
249
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,678
is against the rules.
250
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,247
Come here, come here.
251
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:30,550
What the... Hey, what are you...
What the hell are you doing?
252
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:33,854
If you're wearing
a wire, I will kick your ass.
253
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,456
Bro, I'm not wearing a wire!
Do you have Cred or not?
254
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,392
Sure, I got Cred.
What are ya looking for?
255
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:42,162
A little... Watermelon
Strawberry?
256
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,350
No, no, do you have any ones
257
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,932
that don't taste like total ass?
258
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,299
You want the good shit.
259
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,568
I got your Bubblegum
Grape right here.
260
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:49,903
Okay, how much?
261
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,138
Eighty bucks.
262
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,473
$80? For a shitty
fake-sugar drink?
263
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:54,862
What do you think
I'm runnin' here,
264
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,609
a fucking charity
for the homeless?
265
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,946
How about some
Oatmeal Nummy Nums?
266
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:00,814
I can get you into that for $65.
267
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:04,784
I don't have $65. What
can I get for three bucks?
268
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,553
Three bucks? Sure.
269
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,688
For that, you can get
an empty Cred bottle.
270
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,258
- What good is that gonna do me?
- It's easy.
271
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,393
You just fill your
empty bottle with water,
272
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,095
add a little food coloring.
273
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:19,299
Everyone thinks you got Cred
when you actually have no Cred.
274
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,469
I'm not giving you three
dollars for just plastic garbage!
275
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:23,904
Cool thing, man.
276
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:26,739
You just go back into the
school without any Cred at all.
277
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,641
See how long you last.
278
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,411
Here!
279
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,982
Hey, guys, it's your boy Randy,
280
00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:37,885
and in this video we're
doing authentic pad Thai
281
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,652
for under $6.
282
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,821
Now we're gonna start
with some medium shrimp
283
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:43,390
and some rice noodles.
284
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,478
For the wet ingredients,
we're looking at a couple eggs,
285
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,094
some fish and also soy sauce.
286
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,216
And then for garnish, we're
gonna do a little cilantro,
287
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:50,730
green onion, and then of course,
288
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,800
we're gonna top that all
off with some fresh nuts.
289
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:56,203
Those nuts are gonna
give it that extra bite.
290
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,490
Now, if you like
what you're seeing
291
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,439
be sure to smash
that subscribe button.
292
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,876
- And...
- Get your balls off the table!
293
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,812
Great Sharon
you just ruined the shot!
294
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,049
The guys at the deli
wanted me to say hi, Randy.
295
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,251
They all saw you on OnlyFans.
296
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,053
Really? Are they
gonna subscribe?
297
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,787
No, they're not
going to subscribe.
298
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,957
Nobody's going to
subscribe, Randy.
299
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,892
Will you fucking stop?
300
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,560
This stuff takes time!
301
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,749
You don't just put up a page
and immediately get followers.
302
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,998
You have to support it
with other social media,
303
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,433
have a craft to teach...
304
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,735
Being an influencer
takes time, Sharon!
305
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,971
So now you're an influencer?
306
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,906
Yes! I'm an influencer.
307
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,742
Maybe you should
see how it feels, Randy.
308
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:39,479
Maybe I should go and
do my own OnlyFans.
309
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,648
What? What?
310
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,017
Yeah, like people are gonna
pay to see your OnlyFans.
311
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,086
I'll make more than you do!
312
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,388
Sharon, being an
influencer is work.
313
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,357
You got to pay for the
lighting, for the sound,
314
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:51,824
you got to be good at editing!
315
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,160
Okay. Cool, Randy.
316
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:54,794
I'm gonna go start
an OnlyFans channel.
317
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:58,365
Ok-okay. Okay, you
go do that, Sharon!
318
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:01,201
I'm gonna fuckin' do it!
319
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:04,204
Okay, yeah, go supplement
our income, Shar...
320
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:07,774
Sharon?
321
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,733
You got this day, bro!
322
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:37,370
You're strong and I'm gonna
keep on making videos for you.
323
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,080
♪ I've got Cred, bitches ♪
324
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,381
♪ I've got Cred ♪
325
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,483
♪ I've got Cred, bitches ♪
326
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,485
♪ I've got Cred. ♪
327
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,410
Hey, guys, we're having a
Cred affinity group meeting
328
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:58,946
today at 4:00. Nobody's
allowed but us, okay?
329
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:00,393
Hey, Jordan.
330
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:01,714
We're having a meeting
today. You can't come.
331
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:02,983
Affinity group
meeting today, Sally.
332
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,297
You're not invited.
333
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:05,585
Well, I think that's
just about everyone.
334
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,853
Tweek, did you
tell Spencer Hollis
335
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,388
he's not allowed
in the affinity group?
336
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,923
Yeah. You told me
to call him last night.
337
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,204
He didn't seem to care.
338
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,506
- Yeah, he cares.
- There's Clyde!
339
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:17,344
Hey, Clyde. Look at you
with your nice new backpack.
340
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,112
Yeah. You guys like it?
341
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,280
Yeah, it's really cool.
342
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,714
You can see your Cred now.
343
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,436
Yeah, it's really nice
the way your Cred is...
344
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,586
My God! Clyde!
You got Moonrise Mellow?
345
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,708
How the hell did you get a
bottle of Moonrise Mellow?
346
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:31,524
It was just, what
my parents gave me today.
347
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,026
You guys, Moonrise
Mellow is, like,
348
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,527
the hardest flavor to get ever.
349
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:37,464
- Whoa, lucky.
- Yeah, hey, I'm not sharing.
350
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:40,233
- Hey, Stan. Hey, Stan.
- No, no, dude, wait.
351
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,802
Check out what Clyde
has. Moonrise Mellow.
352
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:43,836
That's impossible.
353
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,572
Look at their faces.
354
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,207
They're so jealous.
355
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:48,575
No, it's really impossible.
356
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,330
Moonrise Mellow was
discontinued months ago.
357
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,080
Guess you wish now that you
were in the Cred affinity group.
358
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:55,882
We told you guys we have
better Cred than anyone at school.
359
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,250
It's probably fake.
360
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,152
You think it's fake?
361
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,088
You want to fucking taste it?
362
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,889
What the fuck?
363
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,924
This is fucking
apple juice. Gross!
364
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,927
- Let's see.
- Hey, give it back.
365
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,130
Yeah, it's apple juice.
You guys are posers.
366
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,598
We're not posers!
367
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,401
Hey, guys. Cred affinity
group uses fake Cred.
368
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,638
What the fuck?
369
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,093
What the fuck have
you done, Clyde?
370
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,241
I'm sorry, okay?
371
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:22,575
He's sorry.
372
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,277
He faked having
Cred, but he's sorry!
373
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,447
All right, look, my parents
won't let me drink Cred, okay?
374
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,416
They think it's bad for me.
375
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:31,751
So you never had Cred?
376
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:32,852
No.
377
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,154
My God!
378
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,423
We all said you had Cred
in your backpack, Clyde.
379
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:37,757
We fucking backed you!
380
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,892
What the hell are we gonna do?
381
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,161
Why do you guys care?
382
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,515
I'm the one who
doesn't have any Cred!
383
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:43,930
That's not how it works, man!
384
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,652
If you don't have Cred,
then everyone around you
385
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,267
loses all their Cred.
386
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,869
We're dead. We're fuckin' dead.
387
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,489
Word is gonna spread
through the school
388
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:52,859
that our affinity
group has no Cred
389
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:54,641
and then we're gonna...
390
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,381
How could you do
this to us, Clyde?
391
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,350
I'm sorry. It was
all the pressure.
392
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,487
I never even wanted
to be in an affinity group.
393
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,021
Now I'm doomed!
394
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:14,527
Ooh... Yeah.
395
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,863
- You like that, guys?
- My God.
396
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:19,732
- God.
- My God. She did it.
397
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,402
- Yeah.
- She actually did it.
398
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:25,071
- She actually got more subscribers than me.
- Ooh, yeah, guys.
399
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:26,839
Yeah.
400
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,675
Just let me know if
there's anything special
401
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,343
you'd like to see, guys.
402
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,712
- 3,100 subscribers.
- Ooh...
403
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,481
- Yeah...
- How is that possible?
404
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,283
I mean, look at that,
the lighting sucks.
405
00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:37,684
The sound keeps clipping
406
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,786
like she got a microphone
at Walmart or something.
407
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,655
And who's that guy?
He's blocking half the shot.
408
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:45,258
- Ooh...
- This is total amateur hour!
409
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,527
Thanks for calling
OnlyFans customer support.
410
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,795
How can I help you?
411
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,997
Yeah, I just found
out that my wife has
412
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:52,365
an OnlyFans page,
413
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,734
and in one day she has
more subscribers than me.
414
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:57,270
I'm starting to think this
whole thing is rigged.
415
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,838
Well, it is slightly easier
416
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:01,708
for our female content
creators to find an audience.
417
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:04,544
Look, my wife can't become
a bigger influencer than me.
418
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:05,765
I'll never hear the end of it.
419
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,480
Well, sir, have you been trying
420
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,660
the pointers we discussed
to reach a larger audience?
421
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,318
Yes! I added a skill.
422
00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:14,721
I'm advertising my OnlyFans
page with TikTok and Instagram.
423
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,257
What about optimizing
your algorithm?
424
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,592
Um, how do I do that?
425
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,060
No, no, no. Not with your penis.
426
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,029
See, what a lot of
influencers will do is
427
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:25,565
they talk about things and
show things in their videos
428
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,733
that are trending.
429
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,435
Then you can hashtag that,
430
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,790
and the search engines will
think your content is trending.
431
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:34,941
So I... add stuff to my
videos that's popular,
432
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,009
and people will
accidentally go to my page
433
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,845
trying to search for
that popular thing.
434
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:39,979
Exactly.
435
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,381
That's perfect!
436
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:45,084
But what's trending most
on the Internet right now?
437
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,759
Hey there, Clyde.
How was school?
438
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,628
You want to know how school was?
439
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,196
It fucking sucked!
440
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,766
All I wanted was to have
a little bit of Cred at school,
441
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,302
but now I've destroyed it
and everyone hates me!
442
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:05,772
Clyde, we're always
trying to do what's best for you.
443
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,807
And you shut the
fuck up, Janice!
444
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,810
- You are not my mom.
- Clyde!
445
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:15,019
I seriously can't
stand how stupid people are sometimes.
446
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,717
That's why I do all
my pranks and stuff.
447
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,753
Sometimes it's
impossible to stay positive
448
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,188
when everyone sucks so hard.
449
00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:23,910
If you like what I'm
saying in this video,
450
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,058
smash that like
button down below.
451
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,395
You know, the thing is,
452
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:29,929
when you really
feel the most down,
453
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:32,332
that's when you got to
fight the hardest, you know?
454
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,935
I'm gonna give you 10
tips to being tougher.
455
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,438
But first I want to give a
shout-out to our sponsor
456
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:40,172
Cred hydration drinks!
457
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,261
Cred gives you all
the energy you need!
458
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,978
And now Cred has an
all-new exclusive flavor.
459
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,515
Introducing new Mega Cred.
460
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:49,882
It's a super limited edition
461
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,251
only available to a select few.
462
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,454
And Cred's doing a big giveaway
463
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:57,890
and maybe these super limited
edition bottles can be yours.
464
00:21:02,529 --> 00:21:03,830
So I looked it up,
465
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,250
and there's this
drink called Cred
466
00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:07,600
that's the most searched
thing on the internet.
467
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,101
I figured if I can get my hands
468
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,970
on some of the more
hard to get bottles
469
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:13,873
and put them in my videos,
maybe I'll get more traffic.
470
00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:16,643
Everyone says maybe
you can help me.
471
00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:21,147
Cred? What's Cred?
Never heard of it.
472
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:24,050
Okay, look, I'm
not wearing a wire.
473
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,618
You want to see?
474
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:28,321
No, no, I don't want to see!
What the hell is wrong with you?
475
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:30,390
I'm looking for a lot of Cred.
476
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:31,824
Maybe I can even get them
477
00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:33,726
to eventually sponsor
my adult web channel.
478
00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:35,027
Okay. Then you'll want
479
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,696
some of the harder
stuff that's marketed
480
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:37,997
for adults only.
481
00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:40,266
Like maybe... Peppa
Pig Peppermint.
482
00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:42,535
That doesn't sound like
it's marketed for adults.
483
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:46,373
Well, maybe you want to
try the I'm a Big Boy Blueberry.
484
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,495
All right, look, just... How
much for the whole bag?
485
00:21:48,575 --> 00:21:50,643
You want my whole bag of Cred?
486
00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:51,944
I want you to supply me
487
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,046
with every bottle of
Cred you can find.
488
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:57,183
I have to have more
subscribers than my wife.
489
00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:10,363
Eric, sweetie, are
you feeling any better?
490
00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:13,800
No, Mom, I'm dying.
491
00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:16,403
I've been completely
discredited.
492
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:21,140
Eric, everything is going to
be okay at school tomorrow.
493
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,742
It's too late.
494
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:24,464
I've already stepped down
as founder and chairman
495
00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:25,978
of my own affinity group.
496
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:28,715
You'll find my letter of
resignation on the nightstand.
497
00:22:30,983 --> 00:22:32,619
I'm choosing to step down
498
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:35,722
before all those sick bastards
at school try and force me out.
499
00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:37,924
Well, you need to sit
up for just a minute.
500
00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:39,892
Your little friend Clyde
wants to talk to you.
501
00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:42,629
Clyde? No, no, no, no,
no. Do not let... Mom!
502
00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:44,731
Do not let Clyde in
my... Aw, goddamn it.
503
00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:46,365
What do you guys want?
504
00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:49,068
Eric, Clyde has an idea
that might save our Cred.
505
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:52,405
Nothing is going to save
our Cred, you boners.
506
00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:54,040
Will you just listen?
507
00:22:54,140 --> 00:22:56,329
My influencer said there's
gonna be a big Cred promotion
508
00:22:56,409 --> 00:22:57,544
at a CVS in Pueblo.
509
00:22:57,644 --> 00:22:58,945
A promotion, great.
510
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,467
They're gonna sell a
very limited quantity
511
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:02,849
of an all-new Cred that
nobody's even tried yet.
512
00:23:02,949 --> 00:23:04,851
So we could ditch school,
513
00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:06,285
find a way to get to Pueblo
514
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,207
and come back with a Cred
nobody else can even get.
515
00:23:08,287 --> 00:23:09,789
We'd have our Cred back.
516
00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:12,659
We followed Clyde
before, you guys,
517
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,461
and it cost us everything.
518
00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:16,028
Look, 50 cases of Cred,
519
00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:17,964
only available
tomorrow 200 miles away
520
00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:19,866
and then not available
for another six months.
521
00:23:19,966 --> 00:23:21,367
It's called Mega Cred.
522
00:23:24,771 --> 00:23:26,272
All right, you son of a bitch.
523
00:23:26,372 --> 00:23:29,375
Maybe our affinity
group isn't dead just yet.
524
00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:36,048
Hey, what up, guys?
It's your boy Randy.
525
00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:37,628
In this video, I'm
gonna be trying out
526
00:23:37,717 --> 00:23:40,286
six different flavors of
the newest sports drink.
527
00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:43,155
As you can see, I've got
lots of Cred. Do you like Cred?
528
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:44,624
If so, leave a
comment down below,
529
00:23:44,724 --> 00:23:46,325
and maybe smash
that like button.
530
00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:48,260
Okay, we're gonna start
with Summer Popsicle.
531
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,996
I guess it's pretty popular.
532
00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:52,699
Smells okay. Let's
see how good it is.
533
00:23:54,701 --> 00:23:56,335
Ooh. Okay, yeah.
534
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:57,670
That one's kind of fizzy.
535
00:23:57,770 --> 00:23:59,672
K-Kind of fizzy, but
more on the penis
536
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:01,040
than it is on them balls.
537
00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:02,542
Yeah, this is really nice.
538
00:24:02,642 --> 00:24:04,310
Yeah, it looks good.
539
00:24:04,410 --> 00:24:06,278
Yeah, looks delicious. Oishii.
540
00:24:06,378 --> 00:24:08,815
Hey If you're liking the
content, be sure to subscribe.
541
00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:10,116
Really helps the channel out.
542
00:24:10,216 --> 00:24:11,918
Let's move on to
another flavor now.
543
00:24:12,018 --> 00:24:13,853
This one's called
Purple Snow Globe.
544
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,254
Let's see how it tastes.
545
00:24:15,354 --> 00:24:18,090
Ooh. Yeah. Yeah,
that's a good one.
546
00:24:23,730 --> 00:24:24,731
My God!
547
00:24:24,831 --> 00:24:26,165
Hey, Sharon!
548
00:24:26,265 --> 00:24:28,200
Sharon, you got to see this!
549
00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:32,572
There you are, Sharon.
550
00:24:32,672 --> 00:24:35,642
Been out shopping with all the
money you made on OnlyFans?
551
00:24:35,742 --> 00:24:37,977
I'm ready to stop
whenever you are.
552
00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:40,146
Ho! Yeah, I
don't think so, Sharon.
553
00:24:40,246 --> 00:24:43,215
I just had a video on
TikTok with 1,000 views
554
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:45,752
and a video on Meta with 2,000!
555
00:24:45,852 --> 00:24:49,088
That's gonna drive all the
subscribers to my OnlyFans page.
556
00:24:49,188 --> 00:24:52,224
You said my penis wasn't
a big deal, and now look!
557
00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,094
What are you doing
to that Cred bottle?
558
00:24:55,194 --> 00:24:57,029
That's just a
little trend jumping.
559
00:24:57,129 --> 00:25:00,199
Randy, you know who
drinks Cred, right? Children!
560
00:25:00,299 --> 00:25:02,201
No, it's not even
suitable for children.
561
00:25:02,301 --> 00:25:04,170
Okay, this has to stop, Randy.
562
00:25:04,270 --> 00:25:07,439
The only views you're getting
on TikTok and Meta are from kids!
563
00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:09,909
That's not what the
data shows, Sharon.
564
00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:11,277
According to Meta and TikTok,
565
00:25:11,377 --> 00:25:12,912
their audience is
predominately people
566
00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:14,280
over the age of 22.
567
00:25:14,380 --> 00:25:16,382
That means it's not kids
who care about Cred,
568
00:25:16,482 --> 00:25:19,418
it's adults who
want to see my dick.
569
00:25:20,186 --> 00:25:22,989
Randy, please. Let's
just call it a tie, okay?
570
00:25:23,089 --> 00:25:25,191
I bet you'd love that now.
571
00:25:25,291 --> 00:25:29,028
Now that my OnlyFans is
about to be bigger than yours.
572
00:25:29,128 --> 00:25:31,898
I'm gonna beat your ass, honey!
573
00:25:39,505 --> 00:25:40,927
Jesus, now it
looks like they're doing
574
00:25:41,007 --> 00:25:42,842
a two-bottle max per person.
575
00:25:42,942 --> 00:25:45,712
O-Okay, so two bottles each.
That means we'll have eight.
576
00:25:45,812 --> 00:25:47,747
- Is that enough Cred?
- My God.
577
00:25:47,847 --> 00:25:49,048
No!
578
00:25:49,148 --> 00:25:51,117
We want
Cred! We want Cred!
579
00:25:51,217 --> 00:25:54,687
We want Cred! We want Cred!
580
00:25:54,787 --> 00:25:56,455
Dude, there's like
2,000 kids here.
581
00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:58,077
Don't these losers have
anything better to do
582
00:25:58,157 --> 00:25:59,558
than fight over a shitty drink?
583
00:25:59,659 --> 00:26:01,379
Come on, we gotta
make our way to the front.
584
00:26:01,460 --> 00:26:04,764
Tom, I'm standing
outside the CVS in Pueblo
585
00:26:04,864 --> 00:26:08,167
where thousands of children
have shown up to get some Cred.
586
00:26:08,267 --> 00:26:10,002
The fake sugar hydration drink
587
00:26:10,102 --> 00:26:12,271
is considered not
suitable for children
588
00:26:12,371 --> 00:26:14,173
and yet kids are
literally fighting
589
00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:16,776
to get their hands
on this limited edition.
590
00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:20,579
I'll be covering the whole thing
live here on my OnlyFans page.
591
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,916
Just DM me if there's anything
custom you'd like to see.
592
00:26:24,016 --> 00:26:25,551
Dude, this is fucking crazy!
593
00:26:25,652 --> 00:26:27,854
There's never gonna be
enough Cred for everybody!
594
00:26:27,954 --> 00:26:30,757
My God. No. No!
595
00:26:30,857 --> 00:26:32,558
It's fucking Spencer Hollis.
596
00:26:32,659 --> 00:26:34,627
Hey, stop pushing, kid.
597
00:26:34,727 --> 00:26:36,863
What's he doing here,
that dirty son a bitch?
598
00:26:36,963 --> 00:26:38,417
He fucking ditched
school to come get Cred
599
00:26:38,497 --> 00:26:40,900
and he doesn't even like
it! He's a fucking poser!
600
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:45,638
We want Cred! We
want Cred! We want Cred!
601
00:26:45,738 --> 00:26:48,040
The delivery truck!
602
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,047
- Get away!
- Give me Cred!
603
00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:57,850
You're all a bunch of animals!
604
00:26:57,950 --> 00:26:59,652
Cred! Give me the Cred!
605
00:26:59,752 --> 00:27:01,053
I got to have Cred!
606
00:27:01,153 --> 00:27:04,657
We want Cred! We want Cred!
607
00:27:04,757 --> 00:27:07,159
Okay, go, go, go!
608
00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:09,315
Okay, okay, it's
here, you bastards.
609
00:27:09,395 --> 00:27:10,830
- Come in and...
- I was here...
610
00:27:10,930 --> 00:27:13,332
Tweek's not gonna
make it, you guys.
611
00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:18,004
- Where is it?
- Where's the Cred?
612
00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:21,540
It's over there!
613
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:22,909
Give me Cred!
614
00:27:23,009 --> 00:27:25,577
Me first! Me first!
615
00:27:27,613 --> 00:27:29,215
Give me the Cred!
616
00:27:33,185 --> 00:27:35,855
There's some, right there!
617
00:27:35,955 --> 00:27:38,124
It's gone! It's all gone!
618
00:27:43,029 --> 00:27:44,697
Mom!
619
00:27:45,732 --> 00:27:46,799
Spencer?
620
00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:49,368
Start the car! Start the car!
621
00:27:49,468 --> 00:27:51,170
Jesus Christ!
622
00:27:51,270 --> 00:27:53,305
Start the fucking car, Mom!
623
00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:55,541
Spencer's getting
away with the Cred!
624
00:27:59,578 --> 00:28:01,613
No!
625
00:28:02,414 --> 00:28:05,451
Well, these are extremely
impressive numbers.
626
00:28:05,551 --> 00:28:08,454
It looks like your content's
getting a lot of views online.
627
00:28:08,554 --> 00:28:09,756
Yeah, thanks.
628
00:28:09,856 --> 00:28:11,377
But you see, what
I'm trying to learn now
629
00:28:11,457 --> 00:28:13,292
is how to take all
the views I'm getting
630
00:28:13,392 --> 00:28:15,661
on like Instagram
and stuff and use them
631
00:28:15,762 --> 00:28:17,196
to make myself bigger.
632
00:28:17,296 --> 00:28:19,031
Well, we can help you with that.
633
00:28:19,131 --> 00:28:20,152
You know, to really succeed,
634
00:28:20,232 --> 00:28:21,633
you gotta ask yourself:
635
00:28:21,734 --> 00:28:24,771
What is it that you want to
achieve as an influencer?
636
00:28:24,871 --> 00:28:27,606
Well, what I really want to do
637
00:28:27,706 --> 00:28:29,441
is beat my wife.
638
00:28:32,411 --> 00:28:33,946
You want to beat your wife?
639
00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:35,815
I mean, don't we all?
640
00:28:35,915 --> 00:28:37,216
I-I don't understand,
641
00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:39,752
you want to beat your
wife on Instagram?
642
00:28:39,852 --> 00:28:41,153
I want to beat her on Instagram,
643
00:28:41,253 --> 00:28:42,755
I want to beat her on TikTok,
644
00:28:42,855 --> 00:28:45,624
but mostly I want to beat
the shit out of her on OnlyFans
645
00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:47,359
and make a lot
of money doing it.
646
00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:50,429
Okay, well, if you
can get the kids to watch
647
00:28:50,529 --> 00:28:52,198
then we can find you a sponsor.
648
00:28:52,298 --> 00:28:54,633
Organizations will do anything
to reach kids these days.
649
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:56,568
Yeah, yeah, but, see, my content
650
00:28:56,668 --> 00:28:58,838
actually isn't
suitable for children.
651
00:28:58,938 --> 00:29:00,840
Right. I mean, the data shows
652
00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:03,609
kids aren't the main audience
for any of this stuff, right?
653
00:29:03,709 --> 00:29:06,478
- Right.
- Right.
654
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:09,648
Mr. Marsh, the thing is, a
sponsor not only gets you cash
655
00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:12,284
but they also help
you push that algorithm
656
00:29:12,384 --> 00:29:14,620
so that their message
is heard through you.
657
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,088
Really?
658
00:29:16,188 --> 00:29:17,710
Yeah, there's gonna
be a lot of companies
659
00:29:17,790 --> 00:29:20,526
that want to pay you to
show your videos to "not kids."
660
00:29:20,626 --> 00:29:22,528
But what we want to
do is get these sponsors
661
00:29:22,628 --> 00:29:24,663
to bid against each
other for your audience.
662
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:26,966
That's when you
become a big influencer.
663
00:29:27,066 --> 00:29:29,969
And then you can beat your
wife as much as you want.
664
00:29:30,069 --> 00:29:32,404
Wow.
665
00:30:21,687 --> 00:30:22,788
There's nothing.
666
00:30:22,889 --> 00:30:24,423
Just two more
broken Cred bottles.
667
00:30:24,523 --> 00:30:27,093
And a couple of
cans of SpaghettiOs.
668
00:30:31,998 --> 00:30:33,799
I don't think I can go back.
669
00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:35,667
Go back to what?
670
00:30:35,767 --> 00:30:37,836
Spencer Hollis has
all the Cred now.
671
00:30:37,937 --> 00:30:40,272
Tomorrow, he'll start
his own affinity group
672
00:30:40,372 --> 00:30:42,274
and not let any of us in.
673
00:30:42,374 --> 00:30:45,244
Don't you guys think
this is all fucked up?
674
00:30:45,344 --> 00:30:47,646
Yeah, fucked up 'cause of you.
675
00:30:47,746 --> 00:30:49,781
No, I mean what
they're doing to us.
676
00:30:49,882 --> 00:30:52,784
Look at this. My influencer
told me to come down here.
677
00:30:52,885 --> 00:30:54,540
He knew there wasn't gonna
be enough Cred for everyone.
678
00:30:54,620 --> 00:30:56,208
It's like... It's like
they wanted to create
679
00:30:56,288 --> 00:30:59,325
this false scarcity.
Give all us kids FOMO.
680
00:30:59,425 --> 00:31:02,061
If anyone's a FOMO,
Clyde, it's you.
681
00:31:02,161 --> 00:31:05,264
You guys aren't listening.
We've been manipulated.
682
00:31:05,364 --> 00:31:07,186
If kids are willing to
fight and die over this,
683
00:31:07,266 --> 00:31:09,488
then what else would they
be willing to fight and die over?
684
00:31:09,568 --> 00:31:11,670
Nobody in school cared
about hydration drinks
685
00:31:11,770 --> 00:31:13,039
three weeks ago.
686
00:31:13,139 --> 00:31:15,541
My influencer convinced
me to come down here.
687
00:31:15,641 --> 00:31:18,077
What else is he
convincing me to do?
688
00:31:18,177 --> 00:31:20,779
So, maybe if we
find your influencer,
689
00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:22,014
then he can give us Cred?
690
00:31:22,114 --> 00:31:23,282
No!
691
00:31:23,382 --> 00:31:25,251
No, no, no. I like
your angle, Clyde.
692
00:31:25,351 --> 00:31:26,919
Maybe this whole
thing is a sham.
693
00:31:27,019 --> 00:31:28,854
If we can make the
whole thing look stupid,
694
00:31:28,955 --> 00:31:30,676
then we make a Cred
affinity group look stupid.
695
00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:32,845
Then Spencer Hollis will
have nothing to keep us out of.
696
00:31:32,925 --> 00:31:35,494
I just know there's more
to all this than we think.
697
00:31:35,594 --> 00:31:37,596
I know what town
my influencer lives in.
698
00:31:37,696 --> 00:31:39,698
I want some goddamn answers.
699
00:31:39,798 --> 00:31:41,133
Tweek, Butters,
700
00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:42,754
gather up all the Pop-Tarts
and SpaghettiOs you can.
701
00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:45,904
We move out at
ninetytwo-hundred.
702
00:31:54,046 --> 00:31:55,481
Can I help you?
703
00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:57,383
Yeah, hi, I'm a big influencer?
704
00:31:57,483 --> 00:32:00,386
My agent sent me
here to find a sponsor?
705
00:32:00,486 --> 00:32:03,289
- Name.
- Randy Marsh?
706
00:32:03,389 --> 00:32:05,044
It's with five Rs because
there was already
707
00:32:05,124 --> 00:32:07,293
a Randy Marsh on TikTok.
708
00:32:07,393 --> 00:32:08,915
Put this around your
neck. Through that door
709
00:32:08,995 --> 00:32:10,796
and wait with the
other influencers.
710
00:32:10,896 --> 00:32:12,364
Okay, thanks.
711
00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,669
Okay, influencers, follow me,
712
00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:19,538
stand in a straight
line and step forward
713
00:32:19,638 --> 00:32:21,640
when your number is called.
714
00:32:26,712 --> 00:32:28,180
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
715
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,302
We have some incredible
influencers available today.
716
00:32:30,382 --> 00:32:32,351
They are all
complete freelancers
717
00:32:32,451 --> 00:32:34,353
and looking for sponsors.
718
00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:37,856
First off, we have
influencer number 394
719
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:39,325
This is BlinkyBlankyGirl.
720
00:32:39,425 --> 00:32:41,360
She has over 10,000
views on Instagram,
721
00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:43,229
6,800 on TikTok
722
00:32:43,329 --> 00:32:45,164
and is up-and-coming
on Meta and X.
723
00:32:45,264 --> 00:32:46,685
Who would like to
own this influencer?
724
00:32:46,765 --> 00:32:48,934
We'll start the bidding
at 20.20, do I hear 20?
725
00:32:49,035 --> 00:32:50,536
There's 20. Do I hear 25, 25?
726
00:32:50,636 --> 00:32:54,006
Let's hear 25, 25, 30.
727
00:32:54,106 --> 00:32:55,474
25 from Mattel Toys.
728
00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:57,443
Mattel Toys now the
highest bidder at 25.
729
00:32:57,543 --> 00:33:01,713
25, who's gonna go for
30? 30, 30.
730
00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:03,815
30! 30 from
Lunchables! Let's go 50.
731
00:33:03,915 --> 00:33:05,317
50 now, who wants
the influencer?
732
00:33:05,417 --> 00:33:07,819
- 50, 50.
- 100!
733
00:33:07,919 --> 00:33:11,323
100! 100 from the Chinese
government! Can we go 150?
734
00:33:11,423 --> 00:33:13,692
150?
735
00:33:13,792 --> 00:33:15,561
150, 150, yes!
736
00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:17,329
Stoli Vodka at 150.
737
00:33:17,429 --> 00:33:18,997
150, the current
bid from Stoli Vodka.
738
00:33:19,098 --> 00:33:20,399
What about you, Build-A-Bear?
739
00:33:20,499 --> 00:33:23,902
Do we hear from Build-A-Bear?
740
00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:27,373
160! 160 from the NRA,
outbidding Stoli Vodka.
741
00:33:27,473 --> 00:33:29,708
Who wants to influence
the youngins more?
742
00:33:31,543 --> 00:33:33,445
170 from Voices for Ukraine.
743
00:33:33,545 --> 00:33:35,247
Don't let them
outbid you, Russia.
744
00:33:35,347 --> 00:33:37,416
No? Chinese government? No?
745
00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:40,619
Sold to Voices for
Ukraine. Thank you.
746
00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:43,389
I don't understand
what happened.
747
00:33:43,489 --> 00:33:44,710
Just keep making
your stupid videos,
748
00:33:44,790 --> 00:33:46,125
they'll tell you what to say.
749
00:33:46,225 --> 00:33:49,061
Okay, next up we have
influencer number 226.
750
00:33:49,161 --> 00:33:51,897
This is Kevinlovesoranges.
751
00:33:51,997 --> 00:33:55,334
Over six million views on
TikTok, 4,600 on Instagram
752
00:33:55,434 --> 00:33:57,203
and a small following
on X and Meta.
753
00:33:57,303 --> 00:34:00,005
Who wants Kevinlovesoranges
to push their agenda?
754
00:34:00,106 --> 00:34:02,908
We'll start at 40, 40.
China in at 40, China at 40.
755
00:34:03,008 --> 00:34:06,278
- Who's gonna go 50?
- Russia with 50.
756
00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:08,647
55, 60, Big Pharma at 60.
757
00:34:08,747 --> 00:34:10,416
60.
Kellogg's Cereal.
758
00:34:10,516 --> 00:34:11,817
Ravenclaw Casinos.
759
00:34:11,917 --> 00:34:13,319
Influence the children.
760
00:34:13,419 --> 00:34:15,721
Can I hear 70? Last call for 70.
761
00:34:17,123 --> 00:34:20,025
Sold to the Canadian
government, congratulations.
762
00:34:20,126 --> 00:34:22,861
Our next influencer, number 427.
763
00:34:22,961 --> 00:34:25,231
This is Randy Marrrrrsh.
764
00:34:25,331 --> 00:34:28,200
We'll start the bidding at
50.50, do I hear 50? 50?
765
00:34:33,705 --> 00:34:35,907
50? No? Come on, Mattel
Toys. Let's hear from you.
766
00:34:36,007 --> 00:34:37,709
How about 40? 40?
767
00:34:37,809 --> 00:34:39,044
How about 40, let's do 40?
768
00:34:44,516 --> 00:34:46,618
Freeze! Nobody move!
769
00:34:53,392 --> 00:34:54,293
Up here! He's up here!
770
00:34:54,393 --> 00:34:56,462
Are you Randy Marrrrrsh?
771
00:34:56,562 --> 00:34:58,464
- Yeah?
- All right, we got him.
772
00:34:58,564 --> 00:34:59,665
Hands behind your back.
773
00:34:59,765 --> 00:35:01,333
Me? I didn't do anything.
774
00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:03,669
I'm just trying to beat my wife.
775
00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:06,938
On your knees! Hands
behind your back now!
776
00:35:10,576 --> 00:35:12,878
Hello? Logan LaDouche?
777
00:35:12,978 --> 00:35:16,148
Hello? We know you're in there.
778
00:35:18,817 --> 00:35:21,420
Go away. I'm in
enough trouble as it is.
779
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,355
Look, dude, we just
want to talk to you, okay?
780
00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:25,324
No, not okay. I'm in hiding.
781
00:35:25,424 --> 00:35:26,925
How did you guys find me?
782
00:35:27,025 --> 00:35:28,747
Dude, if you're in hiding,
you shouldn't probably post
783
00:35:28,827 --> 00:35:30,929
videos of yourself at
the motel you're hiding in.
784
00:35:31,029 --> 00:35:34,700
Shit. Shit, I just
can't help myself.
785
00:35:37,903 --> 00:35:40,606
Brah, we need to know
the truth about Cred.
786
00:35:40,706 --> 00:35:44,042
I'm sorry, okay? I didn't
mean to cause a riot.
787
00:35:44,142 --> 00:35:46,278
Did Cred want us
all to kill each other?
788
00:35:47,179 --> 00:35:50,449
If you found me, then
so can they. Just go.
789
00:35:50,549 --> 00:35:52,484
Okay, okay, fine,
Mr. Influencer,
790
00:35:52,584 --> 00:35:54,720
we'll leave.
791
00:35:54,820 --> 00:35:57,356
- Yeah.
- What the fuck are you doing?
792
00:35:57,456 --> 00:35:59,157
Where's the Cred?
You got some Cred?
793
00:35:59,258 --> 00:36:00,592
Butters, Butters, calm down.
794
00:36:00,692 --> 00:36:02,228
They're gonna take me out, man.
795
00:36:02,328 --> 00:36:05,063
I should just turn myself
in. I'll be safer in jail.
796
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,233
Listen, dude, I went
to Pueblo 'cause of you.
797
00:36:07,333 --> 00:36:08,954
Why did you tell us
we could get Mega Cred
798
00:36:09,034 --> 00:36:10,502
when you knew
there wasn't enough?
799
00:36:10,602 --> 00:36:12,638
Brah, I don't even
drink that crap.
800
00:36:12,738 --> 00:36:14,172
Don't you get it, man?
801
00:36:14,273 --> 00:36:16,908
I'm just this tiny little
piece of a very big lie.
802
00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:19,010
You guys are all
being manipulated.
803
00:36:19,110 --> 00:36:21,213
I trusted you. I've
watched all your videos,
804
00:36:21,313 --> 00:36:23,482
and you told me to be
strong and never give up.
805
00:36:23,582 --> 00:36:25,451
That's all just Cred
messing with me?
806
00:36:25,551 --> 00:36:27,953
Don't you get it? I
don't work for Cred.
807
00:36:28,053 --> 00:36:30,556
The Cred is just there
to get views, man.
808
00:36:30,656 --> 00:36:32,224
'Cause kids love it so much.
809
00:36:32,324 --> 00:36:35,160
But if Cred isn't your
sponsor, then-then who is?
810
00:36:35,261 --> 00:36:38,797
If you knew, it
would make you sick.
811
00:36:39,765 --> 00:36:42,368
They just use you
and Cred to get to us,
812
00:36:42,468 --> 00:36:44,035
and those higher-up people
813
00:36:44,135 --> 00:36:45,904
can get us some
limited-edition Cred?
814
00:36:46,004 --> 00:36:48,940
- Who has the Cred?
- Butters, Jesus.
815
00:36:53,579 --> 00:36:55,347
There-there she is.
816
00:36:55,447 --> 00:36:57,082
Hey, Sharon.
817
00:36:57,182 --> 00:36:58,650
This is my wife, Sharon.
818
00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:00,886
She's an OnlyFans
model just like me.
819
00:37:00,986 --> 00:37:03,822
We are both legally
supplementing our income.
820
00:37:03,922 --> 00:37:06,191
So you work with
your husband, ma'am?
821
00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:08,860
No, we have very different
OnlyFans accounts.
822
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,862
I could never do what he does.
823
00:37:10,962 --> 00:37:12,984
Thanks, honey, it's nice
for you to finally admit it.
824
00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:15,634
Now I'd like to know what
I'm being detained for.
825
00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:17,503
Exposing children
to pornography,
826
00:37:17,603 --> 00:37:19,204
soliciting nude
images to a minor,
827
00:37:19,305 --> 00:37:20,539
child endangerment...
828
00:37:20,639 --> 00:37:22,308
Come on, like it's just me?
829
00:37:22,408 --> 00:37:23,875
Everybody's doing it.
830
00:37:23,975 --> 00:37:26,144
There's an entire network
where everyone just pretends
831
00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,013
Internet platforms
aren't made for children
832
00:37:28,113 --> 00:37:31,182
but they all auction our
kids to the highest bidder.
833
00:37:32,217 --> 00:37:35,787
You seem like some
kind of influencer expert.
834
00:37:35,887 --> 00:37:37,956
Would you say these
things on record?
835
00:37:38,056 --> 00:37:39,858
No, 'cause I'm a
sovereign citizen,
836
00:37:39,958 --> 00:37:42,494
and I don't need to tell you
anything.
837
00:37:42,594 --> 00:37:45,631
- Randy, you need to cooperate.
- Why?
838
00:37:45,731 --> 00:37:47,999
I'll tell you why, scumbag.
839
00:37:48,099 --> 00:37:50,469
Your posts drew
in a lot of children,
840
00:37:50,569 --> 00:37:52,438
and they like to
copy what they see.
841
00:37:52,538 --> 00:37:56,308
So then kids started creating
their own erotic content
842
00:37:56,408 --> 00:37:58,243
based on yours.
843
00:38:00,412 --> 00:38:02,113
- What?
- That's right.
844
00:38:02,213 --> 00:38:04,983
We've just found
sexuality explicit,
845
00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:08,219
pornographic images of minors.
846
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,922
I warn you, what
you are about to see
847
00:38:11,022 --> 00:38:14,393
is extremely
disturbing and graphic.
848
00:38:26,338 --> 00:38:29,475
God.
849
00:38:29,575 --> 00:38:31,042
Don't close your eyes now.
850
00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:34,212
You think these miners
deserved to be treated like this?
851
00:38:44,790 --> 00:38:47,893
What have I done? I had no idea.
852
00:38:47,993 --> 00:38:51,062
Randy, you knew kids
were watching your content.
853
00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:53,699
Yeah, but I never
knew it would lead to...
854
00:38:53,799 --> 00:38:55,901
pornographic images of miners.
855
00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,903
God, it's disgusting.
856
00:38:58,003 --> 00:39:00,939
Being an influencer
is disgusting.
857
00:39:01,039 --> 00:39:03,475
All right, I'm gonna tell
you everything I know
858
00:39:03,575 --> 00:39:05,511
about how the system works.
859
00:39:05,611 --> 00:39:07,212
This has to stop.
860
00:39:08,146 --> 00:39:09,415
Hey, what's up, guys?
861
00:39:09,515 --> 00:39:11,036
Just wanted to let
you all know that I think
862
00:39:11,116 --> 00:39:12,504
maybe I'm gonna
get killed or arrested,
863
00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:14,420
so I'm hiding out
in this motel room.
864
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,055
Be sure to like and subscribe.
It really helps the channel out.
865
00:39:17,155 --> 00:39:18,924
Dude, will you
stop making videos?
866
00:39:19,024 --> 00:39:20,959
I don't know what
else to do, okay?
867
00:39:21,059 --> 00:39:23,695
All I've ever done is
make fucking videos.
868
00:39:23,795 --> 00:39:25,564
But for who? You
said it wasn't for Cred,
869
00:39:25,664 --> 00:39:27,098
so then who sponsors you?
870
00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:29,200
I just wanted
to be a big influencer.
871
00:39:29,300 --> 00:39:31,537
So I got put on this stage
and I was auctioned off
872
00:39:31,637 --> 00:39:33,138
to the highest bidder.
873
00:39:33,238 --> 00:39:36,107
People will pay anything to
push their agenda on you guys.
874
00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:38,397
What, you mean, like, the
Chinese government or something?
875
00:39:38,477 --> 00:39:41,279
I'm sponsored by people worse
than the Chinese government.
876
00:39:41,379 --> 00:39:43,882
I can't tell you who they are,
because then the companies
877
00:39:43,982 --> 00:39:46,284
that run the whole
system will have me killed.
878
00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:48,319
We deserve to know
who's been manipulating us.
879
00:39:48,420 --> 00:39:51,757
Tell us the truth and we'll
make sure you're safe, okay?
880
00:39:52,558 --> 00:39:54,059
You promise?
881
00:39:54,159 --> 00:39:56,462
Yes, we promise.
882
00:39:56,562 --> 00:39:58,163
Fine.
883
00:39:58,263 --> 00:40:00,932
The truth is, I'm
being paid by...
884
00:40:03,368 --> 00:40:05,103
Whoops!
885
00:40:07,806 --> 00:40:09,374
Okay, okay.
886
00:40:09,475 --> 00:40:12,077
We don't care who's
trying to influence us!
887
00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:19,350
The game is up, scumbag.
888
00:40:19,451 --> 00:40:21,987
We know about
the whole operation.
889
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:26,124
We know everything.
890
00:40:26,224 --> 00:40:28,827
The influencers are
being paid by organizations
891
00:40:28,927 --> 00:40:32,030
to knowingly influence children.
892
00:40:33,732 --> 00:40:35,487
The data shows that consumers
893
00:40:35,567 --> 00:40:39,805
of social media platforms are
predominately adults over 21.
894
00:40:39,905 --> 00:40:41,272
Come on.
895
00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:43,374
Within tech companies,
it's an open secret
896
00:40:43,475 --> 00:40:47,613
that millions of users are
actually under the age of 13.
897
00:40:47,713 --> 00:40:49,915
Tech companies
are working diligently
898
00:40:50,015 --> 00:40:52,217
to find ways to make the
Internet safer for children,
899
00:40:52,317 --> 00:40:53,852
but these methods
are often criticized
900
00:40:53,952 --> 00:40:56,054
for violating free speech.
901
00:40:56,154 --> 00:40:59,725
Okay, and tech companies
use those assertions
902
00:40:59,825 --> 00:41:03,895
and their endless cash to
keep regulations tied up in court
903
00:41:03,995 --> 00:41:07,899
so they can continue
to profit off of our kids.
904
00:41:10,001 --> 00:41:13,905
Okay, well, you'll never
take me alive, copper.
905
00:41:20,579 --> 00:41:24,182
He's still alive. Let's get
City General out here.
906
00:41:27,418 --> 00:41:31,056
Who do you work for?
Who's trying to influence me?
907
00:41:38,797 --> 00:41:40,331
He's just the middleman, kids.
908
00:41:40,431 --> 00:41:44,269
Whoever was trying to
influence you is still a mystery.
909
00:41:58,249 --> 00:42:00,518
Hey, fellas, I got an idea.
910
00:42:00,619 --> 00:42:02,988
How about we just
keep our affinity group,
911
00:42:03,088 --> 00:42:04,556
but instead of it
being about Cred,
912
00:42:04,656 --> 00:42:07,659
it's just about how proud
we are of who we are.
913
00:42:07,759 --> 00:42:10,015
No, they won't let us do that,
Butters, 'cause we're white.
914
00:42:10,095 --> 00:42:11,382
White people can't be
in groups talking about
915
00:42:11,462 --> 00:42:13,431
how proud they
are, it doesn't fly.
916
00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:14,833
Dang it.
917
00:42:14,933 --> 00:42:16,702
Well, then, I guess
we just got to accept
918
00:42:16,802 --> 00:42:18,436
that we're gonna go
to school tomorrow
919
00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:20,305
and get totally boned.
920
00:42:20,405 --> 00:42:21,640
Yep.
921
00:42:23,174 --> 00:42:26,344
Hey, look, you guys. It's Cred.
922
00:42:32,217 --> 00:42:35,453
Mr. Marsh? What are you
doing with all that Cred?
923
00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:39,257
I'm putting it where it
belongs, in the garbage.
924
00:42:41,159 --> 00:42:43,114
But that's, like, Jelly Roll
Midnight Waffle House.
925
00:42:43,194 --> 00:42:44,963
Do you know what that's worth?
926
00:42:45,063 --> 00:42:46,431
Yeah, I know what it's worth.
927
00:42:46,531 --> 00:42:48,533
It's worth gold to all
the people in the world
928
00:42:48,634 --> 00:42:51,469
who want to use social
media to influence children.
929
00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:54,139
But there's more to
life than making money.
930
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,676
And there's more to marriage
than just beating your wife.
931
00:42:57,776 --> 00:42:59,410
The bottom line is that
932
00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:02,113
all this social media
influencer garbage
933
00:43:02,213 --> 00:43:04,783
is not suitable for children.
934
00:43:04,883 --> 00:43:06,885
And if you're a kid
on social media,
935
00:43:06,985 --> 00:43:10,789
you have to know that someone
is always trying to get to you.
936
00:43:10,889 --> 00:43:13,224
All you have to
do is ask yourself,
937
00:43:13,324 --> 00:43:17,262
"Who is it that wants to
influence me the most?"
938
00:43:20,799 --> 00:43:23,268
Holy shit.
939
00:43:26,471 --> 00:43:28,907
Janice!
940
00:43:30,475 --> 00:43:33,578
Clyde, where have you
been? We've been worried sick.
941
00:43:33,679 --> 00:43:35,714
It was you, this whole time.
942
00:43:35,814 --> 00:43:38,216
You've been trying to
influence me for months.
943
00:43:38,316 --> 00:43:39,785
Clyde, you really should have
944
00:43:39,885 --> 00:43:41,306
let your father know
where you were...
945
00:43:41,386 --> 00:43:43,521
You've been paying an
influencer to try and reach me,
946
00:43:43,621 --> 00:43:45,590
and you caused this
whole fucking mess!
947
00:43:45,691 --> 00:43:48,059
What is this about, Janice?
948
00:43:48,159 --> 00:43:52,463
I don't think people understand
how hard it is to be a stepmom.
949
00:43:53,699 --> 00:43:55,500
You want to try
and teach your kids,
950
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:59,070
but they don't listen because
you're not their "real parent."
951
00:44:00,238 --> 00:44:03,308
I just wanted to be a good
influence on you, Clyde.
952
00:44:03,408 --> 00:44:05,143
But influencing kids these days
953
00:44:05,243 --> 00:44:09,047
requires good lighting
and a quality microphone.
954
00:44:09,915 --> 00:44:11,950
But why Cred? If
you're so against it,
955
00:44:12,050 --> 00:44:13,584
then why have it
in all those videos?
956
00:44:13,685 --> 00:44:16,187
That was just to get
your views, Clyde.
957
00:44:16,287 --> 00:44:19,657
Your views are
so important to me,
958
00:44:19,758 --> 00:44:21,492
because we never talk.
959
00:44:21,592 --> 00:44:24,095
Maybe what I did
was all a bit much,
960
00:44:24,195 --> 00:44:25,964
but look at us.
961
00:44:26,064 --> 00:44:28,700
Here we are, talking.
962
00:44:31,469 --> 00:44:33,972
Janice, can I call you "Mom"?
963
00:44:34,072 --> 00:44:36,141
Yes, of course.
964
00:44:36,241 --> 00:44:38,343
Fuck you, Mom!
965
00:44:47,285 --> 00:44:49,721
Whoa, Spencer,
is that Mega Cred?
966
00:44:49,821 --> 00:44:51,222
Yeah, pretty cool, right?
967
00:44:51,322 --> 00:44:53,258
"Pretty cool"?
How'd you get that?
968
00:44:53,358 --> 00:44:55,761
I just went to this
thing in Pueblo. No big deal.
969
00:44:55,861 --> 00:44:59,097
Everyone! Everyone, can I
have your attention, please?
970
00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:01,332
We have something really
important to tell you guys.
971
00:45:01,432 --> 00:45:02,868
Tweek and Butters
and I have learned
972
00:45:02,968 --> 00:45:04,435
a lot of things recently.
973
00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:07,038
We have news that
you will all find shocking.
974
00:45:07,138 --> 00:45:09,040
You see, we talked to Mr. Marsh,
975
00:45:09,140 --> 00:45:11,276
and he gave us four bottles
976
00:45:11,376 --> 00:45:13,845
of Jelly Roll Midnight
Waffle House.
977
00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:17,102
No, no, no. Back up.
978
00:45:17,182 --> 00:45:19,517
This is for the Cred
affinity group only.
979
00:45:19,617 --> 00:45:22,187
- You can look at our Cred, but don't touch.
- All right!
980
00:45:22,287 --> 00:45:24,722
Hey, Clyde.
981
00:45:24,823 --> 00:45:26,457
Say, Clyde, you,
982
00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:28,459
forgot your super
special Jelly Roll Cred
983
00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:30,495
at the group meeting, remember?
984
00:45:38,169 --> 00:45:40,005
It tastes amazing.
985
00:45:40,105 --> 00:45:41,239
All right!
986
00:45:41,339 --> 00:45:43,641
Yeah! Clyde's got Cred again!
987
00:45:50,715 --> 00:45:52,750
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