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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,000 中国性戏观 2 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,620 古代中国是一个封闭守旧的社会 3 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,230 性文化更加保守 4 00:00:34,230 --> 00:00:35,700 有人说,春宫图 5 00:00:35,830 --> 00:00:38,160 只是少数堕落王八人搞出来的 6 00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:40,460 其实考据起来啊 7 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,500 性观念性意识古已有之 8 00:00:45,910 --> 00:00:46,880 你不相信啊 9 00:00:47,010 --> 00:00:49,170 我们来看看这个象形文字 10 00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:50,800 你就知道了 11 00:00:51,850 --> 00:00:54,750 这个字啊,三岁的小孩都知道了 12 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,480 这是个女字 13 00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:59,640 这里面又圆又尖的部分像什么 14 00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:02,760 有人说是女人交叉着双手 15 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:07,760 爷呀,错了,这是女性的一对乳房 16 00:01:09,430 --> 00:01:11,870 你不信啊,再看看这个字 17 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,670 这个是什么字啊,爷呀你不用猜了 18 00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:19,330 一定猜不到的 19 00:01:19,610 --> 00:01:22,370 这是个「母亲」的「母」字啊 20 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:26,010 它区别啊,在于多了两个乳头 21 00:01:26,350 --> 00:01:27,440 乳头是用来干什么的 22 00:01:27,580 --> 00:01:29,110 是用来喂奶的 23 00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:32,550 女人能喂奶才称之为母亲嘛 24 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:37,590 古人造字也包含着食色性也的观念 25 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:40,390 所以啊,有些心理医生说 26 00:01:40,530 --> 00:01:43,360 如果人的欲火长期被压抑住 27 00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:45,930 一找到机会就会喷发出来 28 00:01:46,070 --> 00:01:48,430 一发不可收拾 29 00:01:55,180 --> 00:01:57,270 如果没有机会喷发的时候 30 00:01:57,410 --> 00:02:01,680 冷却一下也是个好办法,啊…… 31 00:02:11,230 --> 00:02:14,680 哇,你看见摇摇荡荡的画面 32 00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:17,530 使人想起象形文字的精妙 33 00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:19,860 多么的优美啊 34 00:02:23,070 --> 00:02:24,300 爷呀,光靠淋浴…… 35 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,100 是绝对不能够解决性压抑的问题的 36 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,970 要解决啊,我们就要请教 37 00:02:29,110 --> 00:02:31,100 中国最早热衷性解放 38 00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:34,980 推动性研究的临床性技术专家 39 00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:39,410 她就是老鸨子,或者叫做龟婆 40 00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:44,920 这段文字的意思是需要苦练两点 41 00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:46,250 四个部位 42 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,530 第一是,下身写字 43 00:02:49,060 --> 00:02:52,470 要练到不管写大字还是写小字 44 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,540 都要像用手写的那么秀丽 45 00:02:55,840 --> 00:03:00,140 而这个运作呢,是训练你的功力 46 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,770 和你腰部的腰力 47 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,410 第二要练的是舌功 48 00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:14,220 练习的时候要卧薪尝胆 49 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:20,260 如果舌头可以克服蛇胆的苦臭味 50 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:25,370 你就可以战胜人体任何一个部位 51 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:27,470 所发出来的气味 52 00:03:28,670 --> 00:03:30,730 就在你苦忍的过程当中 53 00:03:30,870 --> 00:03:33,670 你的肚皮会自然抽缩 54 00:03:35,610 --> 00:03:41,950 阴、腰、舌、腹这四个部位练成之后 55 00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:44,910 就能够帮那些玩废了的病人 56 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,320 重振雄风啊! 57 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:50,020 做完之后 58 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:51,750 病人不但不会疲倦 59 00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:53,520 反而会精神百倍 60 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,500 能够练成这种采阴补阳的绝技 61 00:03:57,830 --> 00:04:00,320 你自然而然就能够成为 62 00:04:00,470 --> 00:04:03,060 全京城最富名妓了 63 00:04:07,010 --> 00:04:08,640 爷呀,一个对一个的教导 64 00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:10,510 可以培养出精英份子 65 00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:12,110 但是效率太低了 66 00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:15,580 于是就有大规模集体性教育的妓女 67 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,080 培训班诞生 68 00:04:17,420 --> 00:04:19,010 这个也是「龟婆」主理的 69 00:04:19,150 --> 00:04:21,780 妓女管理科学,训练很严格 70 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:15,040 丫头,好好学着吧 71 00:05:17,010 --> 00:05:19,070 你仔细看着,下面的女人 72 00:05:19,210 --> 00:05:22,150 有些苦练了几年,有些练了几个月 73 00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:26,110 我会把我的本事全教给你们的 74 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,180 行不行,就得看你们自己了 75 00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:35,260 跟我来吧,我们到下边看看 76 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,410 你,帮她脱衣服是 77 00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:45,260 来,跟我来 78 00:06:53,940 --> 00:06:55,670 好了,上桌示范 79 00:07:16,530 --> 00:07:19,060 可以,转过去 80 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:26,340 不错,下一个,你来吧 81 00:07:29,410 --> 00:07:30,400 爷呦,这招是 82 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:33,380 大家熟悉的「老汉推车」 83 00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:44,180 爷呦,这招是「凤阳挂鼓」啊 84 00:07:54,270 --> 00:07:55,790 爷,这么短啊 85 00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:03,540 呀,大概可以叫做「神仙过铁里」吧 86 00:08:17,690 --> 00:08:18,750 爷呀,我的妈呀 87 00:08:18,890 --> 00:08:22,020 悬挂式高难度设计啊 88 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:26,530 不知道是否能命名「金门大里式」啊 89 00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:35,210 经过十天的寒窗苦练 90 00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:36,900 姑娘去妓院接客前 91 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:40,010 要给龟奴测试,检验品质 92 00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:42,580 这个检验员面目可憎 93 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,780 但是很专业,又很敬业 94 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:48,220 绝不是乘机揩油,而是努力工作 95 00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:55,520 呀,啊,这么一大条啊 96 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,710 不用害怕,怕什么呢 97 00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:00,750 把绝招使出来吧 98 00:11:51,810 --> 00:11:53,030 爷呀,不是每个人 99 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:55,300 都要经过品质检验的 100 00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:59,210 特别是处女下海,原装正版不好找 101 00:11:59,350 --> 00:12:01,610 可以卖大价钱呢 102 00:12:01,750 --> 00:12:03,940 决不能让龟奴糟蹋啊 103 00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:06,280 是不是处女,很容易看出来 104 00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:08,020 只看她的害怕样子 105 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,150 就像小鸡遇到了黄鼠狼啊 106 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,920 这个样子正适合老淫虫的心意 107 00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:15,690 有虐待狂倾向的人 108 00:12:15,830 --> 00:12:17,490 就喜欢你这个样子啊 109 00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:20,030 小姐啊,你这回可惨了 110 00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:16,670 爷呀,算了算了,别叫了 111 00:15:16,810 --> 00:15:19,340 你叫得再大声也没有用啊 112 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,610 谁叫这些人相信,开苞可以补身呢 113 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,380 但是,在荒郊野外 114 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,780 还有更离奇的传说 115 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,420 他们相信,处女当药,有神奇的功用 116 00:15:32,060 --> 00:15:34,580 更比那些人参,鹿茸,当归 117 00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:36,560 灵芝更有效益 118 00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:39,130 保证啊,药到病除 119 00:15:40,770 --> 00:15:41,960 来,快点做 120 00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:44,530 我不会,你教我怎么做 121 00:15:44,670 --> 00:15:47,270 啊,你叫我教你啊 122 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,470 我……我…好,好 123 00:15:49,610 --> 00:15:51,080 你等一等,让我想一想 124 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,180 你想到了没有啊 125 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,280 爷,有了,有了 126 00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:02,050 我从小在这儿护灯,叫做六根清净 127 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,720 那么,凡夫俗子,六根未净啊 128 00:16:04,860 --> 00:16:07,660 你摸一摸,朱公子身上的根在不在 129 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:13,760 根,好像这个一样嘛,喔,太大了 130 00:16:14,670 --> 00:16:16,360 跟这个差不多,明白吗 131 00:16:23,010 --> 00:16:25,810 我找到了,接着我该怎么办呢 132 00:16:26,910 --> 00:16:30,780 你怎么办,这个…… 133 00:16:31,150 --> 00:16:32,520 先讲个故事吧 134 00:16:33,090 --> 00:16:35,350 从前,有一个傻子,他一直没老婆 135 00:16:35,490 --> 00:16:36,680 后来就买了一个 136 00:16:36,820 --> 00:16:39,920 就欢天喜地,高高兴兴地进了洞房了 137 00:16:40,060 --> 00:16:41,360 这第二天早上啊 138 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,760 爷,坏了,糟了,坏了 139 00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:46,530 傻子一看,床上有血,就跑到街口 140 00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:48,860 找了个补鞋的叫他来看 141 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,130 叫他来看什么? 142 00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:52,830 看看他的老婆哪儿破了 143 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,030 补鞋的来了一看 144 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,440 就让那傻子在门口等着 145 00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:56,840 谁都不准进来 146 00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:57,970 后来怎么样 147 00:16:58,110 --> 00:16:59,410 怎么样,在里边干上了 148 00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:00,540 傻子在外边等着 149 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,710 只听见里边乒乒乓乓的 150 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,320 过了一个时辰,补鞋的笑着就走了 151 00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:09,120 那傻子进去一看啊,呦,坏了 152 00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:10,720 转身就跑,跑到街口 153 00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:12,330 抓住那补鞋的,他就问他 154 00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:14,160 问什么? 问什么? 155 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:15,990 我让你看看我老婆哪儿破了给缝上 156 00:17:16,130 --> 00:17:18,120 你怎么用浆糊给粘上了? 157 00:17:18,330 --> 00:17:19,490 你好坏呀 158 00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:21,590 不要说了,我明白了 159 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:23,670 是你让我说的吧,又说我坏 160 00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:25,830 你的根怎么样 161 00:17:27,540 --> 00:17:28,800 啊,我不说,我害臊 162 00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:30,100 我要你说 163 00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:32,710 你真的要听啊是啊 164 00:17:32,850 --> 00:17:35,980 好了,那你听清楚啊 165 00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:40,110 我的那个大得跟驴一样 166 00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:41,950 你真的假的 167 00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:45,260 当然是真的了,不要再说了 168 00:17:45,390 --> 00:17:46,920 救人要紧,脱衣服 169 00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:37,270 爷呀,出火了,出火了 170 00:18:37,410 --> 00:18:40,400 处女是否有药用功能,不一定可信 171 00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:43,850 但是中国第一间泄火服务场所 172 00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:46,580 很可能就是这样诞生的 173 00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:38,240 许许多多的良家妇女 174 00:19:38,370 --> 00:19:40,570 对性知识非常的缺乏 175 00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:42,300 对性行为的误解 176 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,640 她们非常担心自己的初夜 177 00:19:45,010 --> 00:19:47,110 怕的要死,怕的要死啊 178 00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:50,980 其实,房事又不是刑事,你不用怕 179 00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:54,050 但是新婚之夜,能否顺利过度 180 00:19:54,190 --> 00:19:57,350 还要看新郎官的手段如何了 181 00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,670 行房是件最开心的事了 182 00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:17,170 当然,第一次会有一点点痛 183 00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:19,040 我会非常小心的 184 00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:22,010 很快你就会觉得很舒服了 185 00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:32,150 相公 186 00:20:32,590 --> 00:20:36,320 我觉得行房是既肮脏又羞耻的事 187 00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:38,930 既然是圣人礼法规定 188 00:20:39,370 --> 00:20:40,890 我也不会逃避 189 00:20:42,570 --> 00:20:44,600 我也知道会很痛 190 00:20:45,470 --> 00:20:47,500 所以我求你尽量快一点 191 00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:53,310 不过,这瓶是麻醉药 192 00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:56,080 等一下,你帮我擦,让我别那么痛 193 00:20:56,780 --> 00:20:58,650 这瓶是止痛药,完事之后 194 00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:01,280 你喂我吃,拜托了 195 00:21:18,270 --> 00:21:19,360 来吧 196 00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:46,790 相公,快点啊,你在干什么 197 00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,770 别催呀,还不行 198 00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:51,770 为什么不行,你放进去不就行了 199 00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:54,000 啊,好….. 200 00:22:11,860 --> 00:22:13,620 太痛了,爷呀 201 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,860 啊,你踢我干什么 202 00:22:18,330 --> 00:22:20,660 我好痛啊,快点给我止痛药 203 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,270 爷呀,我还没做完呢 204 00:22:23,540 --> 00:22:25,440 我说过了,已经尽到责任了 205 00:22:25,570 --> 00:22:27,100 管你有没有做完 206 00:22:27,710 --> 00:22:31,940 傻瓜,你还没流血呢,啊 207 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,480 谁说没流血,满地都是血 208 00:22:37,220 --> 00:22:39,020 哎,怎么这么多血啊 209 00:22:39,950 --> 00:22:41,150 我的戒指上有这么多血 210 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,080 你的戒指挖破你那里,不就流血了 211 00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:50,260 我,啊,血啊,我的妈 212 00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:55,100 啊我不行了 213 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,700 止痛药,快点喂我吃止痛药 214 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,030 我好痛啊 215 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,440 我跟你说了,不能做 216 00:23:21,230 --> 00:23:23,130 性观念的封闭,禁止 217 00:23:23,260 --> 00:23:25,730 结果令很多中国古代的女性 218 00:23:25,870 --> 00:23:27,890 成为了麻将高手 219 00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:31,600 连赌神都不敢和她们打牌交锋啊 220 00:23:31,940 --> 00:23:32,630 为什么呢 221 00:23:32,770 --> 00:23:37,010 因为她们会门前清,不求人,自摸 222 00:23:37,410 --> 00:23:40,350 你看,我说自摸,她就自摸了 223 00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:42,830 爷呀,好姐妹不可以各自为战 224 00:25:42,970 --> 00:25:47,240 要互相帮助,鱼手合欢啊 225 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:45,110 由于古代性文盲影响了很多很多的人 226 00:33:45,250 --> 00:33:48,050 所以产生了不少的同性恋 227 00:33:49,660 --> 00:33:52,420 有些进取的女性为了研习姿势 228 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:53,650 苦练技巧 229 00:33:53,790 --> 00:33:57,520 经常互相切磋,你搓搓我,我搓搓你 230 00:33:57,660 --> 00:33:59,830 切磋,切磋,又切又搓 231 00:33:59,970 --> 00:34:02,490 这些花样叫做水磨豆腐 232 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:04,930 哇,香艳啊 233 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,680 哇,真是好戏一场接一场啊 234 00:36:01,820 --> 00:36:03,880 这些性欲这么强的豆腐西施 235 00:36:04,020 --> 00:36:06,960 堪称历史上的最前卫的妇女解放先锋 236 00:36:07,090 --> 00:36:09,460 她们为了不再受男人那只萧的摆布 237 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:10,650 不惜动用真萧 238 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,390 去承办以后的抽插打桩工程 239 00:36:13,670 --> 00:36:16,140 你看看她,埋头苦干 240 00:36:16,270 --> 00:36:18,000 用尽三寸不烂之舌 241 00:36:18,140 --> 00:36:20,130 都是为了把男人打倒 242 00:36:21,410 --> 00:36:25,400 爷,放在嘴里的萧,编号FU001 243 00:36:25,550 --> 00:36:26,530 永不磨损型 244 00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,580 比男人的那只更耐用啊 245 00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:45,410 其实,女人走向同性恋 246 00:38:45,550 --> 00:38:46,880 当然是不对的 247 00:38:47,020 --> 00:38:48,920 可是男人也有责任啊 248 00:38:49,860 --> 00:38:54,880 你看看,啊,喂,别急啊 249 00:38:55,030 --> 00:38:56,660 先做个前奏嘛 250 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,530 啊,我不行了,我不行了 251 00:39:01,670 --> 00:39:03,190 爷呀呀,又早泄了 252 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:06,960 为了解决传宗接代 253 00:39:07,110 --> 00:39:08,870 男子有责的根本问题 254 00:39:09,010 --> 00:39:10,500 固本培元 255 00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:14,880 人体根部移植手术老早在中国展开了 256 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:19,110 哇,今夜一轮明月,不下雨才好啊 257 00:39:22,690 --> 00:39:23,820 四更了,动手 258 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,450 为什么要在四更动手 259 00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:27,320 不论是人和畜牲的阳具 260 00:39:27,460 --> 00:39:29,950 在鸡鸣的前后是最兴奋,最高潮的 261 00:39:30,230 --> 00:39:31,820 如果在这个时辰做手术的话 262 00:39:31,970 --> 00:39:33,900 将来的效果也特别的好 263 00:39:34,870 --> 00:39:37,430 马跟牛一样,见到红色就会兴奋 264 00:39:37,700 --> 00:39:38,730 抬头喽 265 00:39:43,980 --> 00:39:45,500 这是麻醉汤,你喝了之后 266 00:39:45,650 --> 00:39:47,910 下半身就会麻醉,不觉得痛了 267 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,580 喂,小兄弟,拿点儿酒给马喝 268 00:39:53,190 --> 00:39:55,680 爷,叫你拿点儿酒给马喝,快点儿 269 00:39:56,090 --> 00:39:58,490 为什么马不喝麻醉汤,而喝酒呢? 270 00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,560 有些动物对麻醉汤敏感 271 00:40:00,690 --> 00:40:01,920 马就是其中的一种 272 00:40:02,060 --> 00:40:03,690 所以就用酒来麻醉它 273 00:40:03,830 --> 00:40:05,800 爷,别全喝下去 274 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,060 喂,大夫,那是什么东西啊? 275 00:40:16,340 --> 00:40:17,600 我从西洋画里学来的 276 00:40:17,740 --> 00:40:19,300 是西洋人用来砍头的刑具 277 00:40:19,450 --> 00:40:20,430 叫做断头台 278 00:40:20,580 --> 00:40:22,510 我照着做了个小的,用来做手术 279 00:40:22,650 --> 00:40:23,880 花了不少的本钱哪 280 00:40:24,750 --> 00:40:30,920 切给你看看啊,哼,哼,利害吧? 281 00:40:31,930 --> 00:40:36,950 缩进去了,用不着怕 282 00:40:38,130 --> 00:40:40,690 我不是怕,我刚刚看见一只大老鼠 283 00:40:40,830 --> 00:40:42,230 我这人最怕老鼠了 284 00:40:42,570 --> 00:40:44,130 你怕老鼠,我怕下雨 285 00:40:44,270 --> 00:40:45,400 为什么? 286 00:40:45,540 --> 00:40:47,600 是这样的,我小时候 287 00:40:47,740 --> 00:40:48,760 一个下雨的晚上 288 00:40:48,910 --> 00:40:49,970 我亲眼看见我妈 289 00:40:50,110 --> 00:40:51,740 被一个像你这样的人给强奸了 290 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,140 所以,以后每逢雨夜 291 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:55,680 尤其是打雷闪电 292 00:40:55,820 --> 00:40:59,770 我的情绪就会很激动,很激动…… 293 00:41:01,420 --> 00:41:03,150 大夫,大夫…… 294 00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:05,750 天快亮了 295 00:41:07,460 --> 00:41:08,150 小兄弟 296 00:41:08,290 --> 00:41:10,020 帮忙抓住这个玩意儿,放这儿 297 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,730 第一柱香灭之前,就要做接驳手术 298 00:41:13,870 --> 00:41:15,800 时辰过了,接不接都无所谓 299 00:41:16,070 --> 00:41:17,260 那第二柱香呢? 300 00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,630 第二柱香灭之前,就要完成整个手术 301 00:41:19,910 --> 00:41:22,840 别愁眉苦脸的,开心一点,轻松…… 302 00:41:22,980 --> 00:41:23,940 我很轻松了 303 00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,240 那一定会成功的! 304 00:41:25,710 --> 00:41:32,680 预备了,笑,切,啊…… 305 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:52,800 血止住了,好了没有,好了 306 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:59,000 不痛吧? 不痛,哈…… 307 00:41:59,650 --> 00:42:02,110 臭小子,真没用,起来啊,起来 308 00:42:12,390 --> 00:42:14,190 干什么? 没什么 309 00:42:14,330 --> 00:42:17,990 没什么,我们继续 310 00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,730 哇,一坛子酒全喝光了,还没醉啊 311 00:42:21,870 --> 00:42:23,930 这浑蛋,酒量比我还好 312 00:42:25,100 --> 00:42:27,130 麻烦了,香快烧完了,马还没醉 313 00:42:28,110 --> 00:42:28,800 这样不行啊 314 00:42:28,940 --> 00:42:30,770 我看还是先把你自己的接回来吧 315 00:42:31,110 --> 00:42:32,270 过一阵子再接啊 316 00:42:32,410 --> 00:42:33,940 不能接了,切了一次之后 317 00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:34,980 就再也接不上了 318 00:42:35,110 --> 00:42:36,480 那怎么行啊? 319 00:42:37,420 --> 00:42:39,250 我先声明,没时间了,再不接 320 00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:41,220 伤口发炎,会出人命的 321 00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:44,650 爷,放开,放开…… 322 00:42:44,790 --> 00:42:46,020 被叼走了 323 00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,820 喂,死狗,把吊还给我 324 00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:50,790 不要吃我的吊啊…… 325 00:42:50,930 --> 00:42:55,630 让开,让开,还给我,还给我 326 00:42:55,770 --> 00:42:59,200 给我,还给我…… 327 00:42:59,340 --> 00:43:01,470 怎么样,怎么样,找到没有 328 00:43:01,970 --> 00:43:04,840 找是找到了,啊…… 329 00:43:04,980 --> 00:43:08,070 不过就剩下这么一点儿了,啊…… 330 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:10,780 现在没办法了 331 00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:12,680 只有把他的根切下来帮你顶一顶 332 00:43:12,820 --> 00:43:14,220 那我呢? 我怎么办 333 00:43:14,350 --> 00:43:15,550 你做太监的,还用问哪! 334 00:43:15,690 --> 00:43:18,380 我不是人啊,怎么,我也有人权啊 335 00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:19,890 谁叫你命苦,卖给人家当书童呢? 336 00:43:20,030 --> 00:43:20,920 还讲什么人权? 337 00:43:21,060 --> 00:43:22,530 中国人的人权,就是有得吃,有得穿 338 00:43:22,660 --> 00:43:23,690 那个破烂儿先掏出来 339 00:43:23,830 --> 00:43:24,690 不掏掏出来 340 00:43:24,830 --> 00:43:26,920 不掏……臭小子,敢跑…… 341 00:43:36,310 --> 00:43:37,940 接着,好 342 00:43:43,620 --> 00:43:47,710 来了,预备,切 343 00:43:56,530 --> 00:44:00,090 喂,大夫大夫……… 344 00:44:02,740 --> 00:44:03,930 怎么办……… 345 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:26,820 臭小子,起来,臭小子开工了 346 00:44:28,430 --> 00:44:29,450 我来帮你 347 00:44:30,300 --> 00:44:32,290 爷,完了,怎么回事 348 00:44:32,430 --> 00:44:33,630 我的手怎么不能动了 349 00:44:33,900 --> 00:44:35,030 我刚把麻醉汤打洒了 350 00:44:35,170 --> 00:44:36,260 全洒你手上了,啊 351 00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:38,670 快把解药拿过来,盆子也端过来 352 00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:47,510 全倒在我手上,怎么样 353 00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:50,650 还是不能动啊 354 00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:55,450 不行,不动不行啊 355 00:44:55,590 --> 00:44:58,220 大夫,那什么时候才能动呢,是啊 356 00:44:58,360 --> 00:44:59,950 最快要泡半柱香的时间 357 00:45:01,530 --> 00:45:05,860 香也快烧完了,完了,玩完了 358 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,300 天意,天意啊 359 00:45:18,180 --> 00:45:19,640 大夫,你的手能动了 360 00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,250 大夫,大夫你的手能动了 361 00:45:23,780 --> 00:45:25,680 啊,干什么大夫 362 00:45:27,150 --> 00:45:30,150 放手,放手啊,大夫 363 00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:44,670 这是什么酒啊,好喝 364 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,100 你听着,开工 365 00:45:54,610 --> 00:45:56,510 嗨,花了几百两银子 366 00:45:56,650 --> 00:45:58,640 终于大功告成了 367 00:45:58,990 --> 00:46:02,180 赶快找一位美女来一显雄风吧 368 00:47:57,240 --> 00:48:00,300 喂小子,有招不是长久管用啊 369 00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:04,230 欲火焚身的时候,救火要用梯子 370 00:48:06,050 --> 00:48:09,540 在高空要准确地击中目标很难的 371 00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:13,140 爷呀,就算你有充沛的体力 372 00:48:13,290 --> 00:48:17,120 这样做下去也难免腰酸背痛 373 00:49:37,270 --> 00:49:39,640 所谓……上得山多终遇虎 374 00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:44,300 对付淫贼,要以其之道还之其人之身 375 00:49:45,240 --> 00:49:47,580 以虎狼阵型,大破淫动武功 376 00:49:47,710 --> 00:49:49,610 不断摧残你的宝贝命根 377 00:49:49,750 --> 00:49:53,840 据说这是中国独有之王道宫刑 378 00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:39,150 这个用来对付男人挺好的 379 00:51:39,290 --> 00:51:41,620 但是,对付女人的那些刑法 380 00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:43,560 就残酷的多了 381 00:51:44,230 --> 00:51:46,250 这个刑具叫做木马屠城 382 00:51:47,430 --> 00:51:49,990 专门用来对付那些不贞的女人 383 00:51:52,710 --> 00:52:01,580 不要,不要…… 384 00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:03,310 除了残忍刑具之外 385 00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:05,670 还有一种叫做「挑逗性衣」 386 00:53:06,910 --> 00:53:10,370 线条流畅,兼有后现代金属设计 387 00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:13,380 穿上去,淑女也会变成淫娃 388 00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,210 谁受的了啊 389 00:54:26,490 --> 00:54:27,320 爷,不过呢 390 00:54:27,460 --> 00:54:28,690 并不是所有的女人 391 00:54:28,830 --> 00:54:31,820 都需要靠这么多道具来自慰的 392 00:54:33,030 --> 00:54:35,160 你们看看,这个骚娘门儿 393 00:54:35,300 --> 00:54:38,100 自己洗澡,洗得骚起来 394 00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:39,600 有些男人 395 00:54:39,740 --> 00:54:43,000 已经自动自觉的来到侍奉了 396 00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,430 这个人呢,平时地似端庄 397 00:54:45,580 --> 00:54:48,100 其实骨子里非常淫乱 398 00:54:48,580 --> 00:54:50,780 爷呀,对付这种骚娘们 399 00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:53,250 千万不能手软啊 400 00:54:53,650 --> 00:54:55,680 最要紧的是,直截了当 401 00:54:55,820 --> 00:54:59,850 不用什么花样,扑上去干她一炮 402 00:57:54,270 --> 00:57:56,930 爷呀,刚才是「男奸女」 403 00:57:57,070 --> 00:57:59,940 转眼之间,就是「女奸男」 404 00:58:00,210 --> 00:58:02,670 难道这才是男女平等啊 405 00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:05,340 这个世道,要做马上做 406 00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:10,410 不过,这位可比不上前面那一位啊 407 00:59:03,470 --> 00:59:05,460 爷,怎么了,怎么了 408 00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:09,170 从嘴巴射出来了,爷呀,过头了吧! 409 00:59:25,490 --> 00:59:27,750 暴力本来就是人性的另一面 410 00:59:27,890 --> 00:59:28,720 特别是男人 411 00:59:28,860 --> 00:59:30,620 看见女人贱声贱气 412 00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:32,660 呻吟的样子就特别的兴奋 413 00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:35,790 要不然怎么会引发出多少虐妻案呢? 414 00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:43,970 我没力气做,呆会儿吃完饭再做嘛 415 00:59:48,810 --> 00:59:50,010 哼,吃完没有 416 00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:53,550 刚刚吃完,谢谢 417 00:59:53,990 --> 01:00:06,260 过来,爬过来,快点…… 418 01:02:37,450 --> 01:02:40,480 要扼止男人这种潜伏的兽性 419 01:02:40,790 --> 01:02:43,650 根据我国性书「玉蒲团」记载 420 01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:47,690 首先要改变男上女下的传统姿势 421 01:02:47,830 --> 01:02:50,230 让男人化主动为被动 422 01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:51,730 最要紧的姿势 423 01:02:51,860 --> 01:02:55,260 就是「泰山压顶地盖天」了 424 01:04:02,130 --> 01:04:03,500 中国乃堂堂大国 425 01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:06,400 传统文化固然是历史悠久 426 01:04:06,540 --> 01:04:09,600 造爱花式还真是千变万化 427 01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:12,310 如果悍娇娃配合得不够美妙 428 01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:14,040 不如改换一下姿势 429 01:04:14,180 --> 01:04:17,670 尝试一下推波助澜打秋千了 430 01:04:18,020 --> 01:04:20,140 男女老少,古今皆宜 431 01:04:21,450 --> 01:04:23,480 不过你要量力而为啊! 432 01:09:10,210 --> 01:09:13,740 其实,古今中外的女人,种类很多 433 01:09:14,510 --> 01:09:16,500 看得清楚,就容易上手 434 01:09:18,780 --> 01:09:20,940 来啊,学着点儿 435 01:09:24,260 --> 01:09:25,850 第一种是「虎狼型」 436 01:09:26,620 --> 01:09:28,620 你看看她天生一个骚娘们 437 01:09:28,760 --> 01:09:31,520 你对她越粗暴,她越不在乎 438 01:09:31,830 --> 01:09:33,960 她比你还要着急呢 439 01:09:37,670 --> 01:09:42,160 爷呀,你看看她,有多享受啊…… 440 01:11:05,290 --> 01:11:08,850 再看第二种就是「绵羊型」 441 01:11:10,030 --> 01:11:13,930 你看看,白白嫩嫩,绝无性病啊 442 01:11:15,030 --> 01:11:17,830 对付这种「杨家有女初长成」 443 01:11:17,970 --> 01:11:19,940 绝不可以粗鲁啊 444 01:11:20,670 --> 01:11:23,370 最主要的是温柔,体贴 445 01:11:23,980 --> 01:11:26,770 当然了,要像抽水烟壶一样 446 01:11:26,910 --> 01:11:29,780 慢慢来,慢慢的享受 447 01:11:30,150 --> 01:11:33,950 又吸又添,细细品尝 448 01:11:34,220 --> 01:11:36,450 爷呀,如果这个妞儿迷上了你 449 01:11:36,590 --> 01:11:41,020 贴一副套房钱她也心甘情愿啊! 450 01:16:38,160 --> 01:16:40,320 好了,到了第三种了 451 01:16:41,630 --> 01:16:43,460 这个叫做「骑师型」 452 01:16:44,830 --> 01:16:46,460 遇上这种女强人 453 01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:49,770 你千万不要跟她争强好胜 454 01:16:50,200 --> 01:16:53,140 首先要放下男人的尊严 455 01:16:53,500 --> 01:16:55,030 让她任意摆布 456 01:16:55,170 --> 01:16:58,070 她要做骑师,你就做千里马 457 01:16:58,280 --> 01:16:59,000 舒舒服服 458 01:16:59,140 --> 01:17:03,310 弄一次「春风得意马蹄足」…… 459 01:19:23,590 --> 01:19:26,650 历史学家说过,性欲是文化的原动力 460 01:19:26,790 --> 01:19:28,020 中国人的性观念 461 01:19:28,160 --> 01:19:30,490 随着时代的巨轮不断进步 462 01:20:00,990 --> 01:20:03,050 中国人也逐渐打破封闭 463 01:20:03,190 --> 01:20:04,490 愚昧的性观念 464 01:20:04,630 --> 01:20:06,960 自由自在地去放纵情欲 465 01:20:07,630 --> 01:20:10,190 但是,往往为了自己一刻的欢愉 466 01:20:10,330 --> 01:20:13,900 种下了祸根,造成了生态不平衡 467 01:20:14,040 --> 01:20:17,500 危害地球,后果不堪设想 468 01:20:20,440 --> 01:20:22,540 爷呀,未免孽债滚滚来 469 01:20:22,680 --> 01:20:24,650 记着要用避孕套 32835

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