All language subtitles for 中国性戏观1996
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1
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中国性戏观
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古代中国是一个封闭守旧的社会
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性文化更加保守
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00:00:34,230 --> 00:00:35,700
有人说,春宫图
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只是少数堕落王八人搞出来的
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其实考据起来啊
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性观念性意识古已有之
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你不相信啊
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我们来看看这个象形文字
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你就知道了
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这个字啊,三岁的小孩都知道了
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这是个女字
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这里面又圆又尖的部分像什么
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00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:02,760
有人说是女人交叉着双手
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爷呀,错了,这是女性的一对乳房
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你不信啊,再看看这个字
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这个是什么字啊,爷呀你不用猜了
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一定猜不到的
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这是个「母亲」的「母」字啊
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它区别啊,在于多了两个乳头
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乳头是用来干什么的
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是用来喂奶的
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女人能喂奶才称之为母亲嘛
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古人造字也包含着食色性也的观念
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所以啊,有些心理医生说
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如果人的欲火长期被压抑住
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一找到机会就会喷发出来
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一发不可收拾
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如果没有机会喷发的时候
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冷却一下也是个好办法,啊……
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哇,你看见摇摇荡荡的画面
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使人想起象形文字的精妙
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多么的优美啊
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爷呀,光靠淋浴……
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是绝对不能够解决性压抑的问题的
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要解决啊,我们就要请教
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中国最早热衷性解放
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推动性研究的临床性技术专家
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她就是老鸨子,或者叫做龟婆
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这段文字的意思是需要苦练两点
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四个部位
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第一是,下身写字
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要练到不管写大字还是写小字
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都要像用手写的那么秀丽
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而这个运作呢,是训练你的功力
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和你腰部的腰力
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第二要练的是舌功
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练习的时候要卧薪尝胆
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如果舌头可以克服蛇胆的苦臭味
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你就可以战胜人体任何一个部位
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所发出来的气味
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就在你苦忍的过程当中
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你的肚皮会自然抽缩
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阴、腰、舌、腹这四个部位练成之后
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就能够帮那些玩废了的病人
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重振雄风啊!
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做完之后
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病人不但不会疲倦
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反而会精神百倍
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能够练成这种采阴补阳的绝技
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你自然而然就能够成为
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全京城最富名妓了
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爷呀,一个对一个的教导
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可以培养出精英份子
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但是效率太低了
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于是就有大规模集体性教育的妓女
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培训班诞生
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这个也是「龟婆」主理的
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妓女管理科学,训练很严格
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丫头,好好学着吧
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你仔细看着,下面的女人
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有些苦练了几年,有些练了几个月
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我会把我的本事全教给你们的
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行不行,就得看你们自己了
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跟我来吧,我们到下边看看
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你,帮她脱衣服是
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来,跟我来
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好了,上桌示范
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可以,转过去
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不错,下一个,你来吧
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爷呦,这招是
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大家熟悉的「老汉推车」
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爷呦,这招是「凤阳挂鼓」啊
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爷,这么短啊
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呀,大概可以叫做「神仙过铁里」吧
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爷呀,我的妈呀
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悬挂式高难度设计啊
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不知道是否能命名「金门大里式」啊
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经过十天的寒窗苦练
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姑娘去妓院接客前
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要给龟奴测试,检验品质
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这个检验员面目可憎
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但是很专业,又很敬业
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绝不是乘机揩油,而是努力工作
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呀,啊,这么一大条啊
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不用害怕,怕什么呢
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把绝招使出来吧
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爷呀,不是每个人
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都要经过品质检验的
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特别是处女下海,原装正版不好找
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可以卖大价钱呢
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决不能让龟奴糟蹋啊
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是不是处女,很容易看出来
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只看她的害怕样子
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就像小鸡遇到了黄鼠狼啊
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这个样子正适合老淫虫的心意
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有虐待狂倾向的人
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就喜欢你这个样子啊
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小姐啊,你这回可惨了
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爷呀,算了算了,别叫了
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你叫得再大声也没有用啊
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谁叫这些人相信,开苞可以补身呢
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但是,在荒郊野外
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还有更离奇的传说
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他们相信,处女当药,有神奇的功用
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更比那些人参,鹿茸,当归
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灵芝更有效益
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保证啊,药到病除
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来,快点做
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我不会,你教我怎么做
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啊,你叫我教你啊
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我……我…好,好
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你等一等,让我想一想
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你想到了没有啊
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爷,有了,有了
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我从小在这儿护灯,叫做六根清净
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那么,凡夫俗子,六根未净啊
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你摸一摸,朱公子身上的根在不在
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根,好像这个一样嘛,喔,太大了
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跟这个差不多,明白吗
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我找到了,接着我该怎么办呢
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你怎么办,这个……
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先讲个故事吧
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从前,有一个傻子,他一直没老婆
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后来就买了一个
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就欢天喜地,高高兴兴地进了洞房了
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这第二天早上啊
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爷,坏了,糟了,坏了
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傻子一看,床上有血,就跑到街口
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找了个补鞋的叫他来看
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叫他来看什么?
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看看他的老婆哪儿破了
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补鞋的来了一看
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就让那傻子在门口等着
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谁都不准进来
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后来怎么样
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怎么样,在里边干上了
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傻子在外边等着
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只听见里边乒乒乓乓的
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过了一个时辰,补鞋的笑着就走了
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那傻子进去一看啊,呦,坏了
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转身就跑,跑到街口
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抓住那补鞋的,他就问他
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问什么? 问什么?
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我让你看看我老婆哪儿破了给缝上
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你怎么用浆糊给粘上了?
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你好坏呀
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不要说了,我明白了
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是你让我说的吧,又说我坏
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你的根怎么样
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啊,我不说,我害臊
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我要你说
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你真的要听啊是啊
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好了,那你听清楚啊
165
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我的那个大得跟驴一样
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你真的假的
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当然是真的了,不要再说了
168
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救人要紧,脱衣服
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00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:37,270
爷呀,出火了,出火了
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处女是否有药用功能,不一定可信
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但是中国第一间泄火服务场所
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很可能就是这样诞生的
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许许多多的良家妇女
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对性知识非常的缺乏
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对性行为的误解
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她们非常担心自己的初夜
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怕的要死,怕的要死啊
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其实,房事又不是刑事,你不用怕
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但是新婚之夜,能否顺利过度
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还要看新郎官的手段如何了
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行房是件最开心的事了
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当然,第一次会有一点点痛
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我会非常小心的
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很快你就会觉得很舒服了
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00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:32,150
相公
186
00:20:32,590 --> 00:20:36,320
我觉得行房是既肮脏又羞耻的事
187
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既然是圣人礼法规定
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我也不会逃避
189
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我也知道会很痛
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所以我求你尽量快一点
191
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不过,这瓶是麻醉药
192
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等一下,你帮我擦,让我别那么痛
193
00:20:56,780 --> 00:20:58,650
这瓶是止痛药,完事之后
194
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:01,280
你喂我吃,拜托了
195
00:21:18,270 --> 00:21:19,360
来吧
196
00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:46,790
相公,快点啊,你在干什么
197
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,770
别催呀,还不行
198
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:51,770
为什么不行,你放进去不就行了
199
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啊,好…..
200
00:22:11,860 --> 00:22:13,620
太痛了,爷呀
201
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,860
啊,你踢我干什么
202
00:22:18,330 --> 00:22:20,660
我好痛啊,快点给我止痛药
203
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,270
爷呀,我还没做完呢
204
00:22:23,540 --> 00:22:25,440
我说过了,已经尽到责任了
205
00:22:25,570 --> 00:22:27,100
管你有没有做完
206
00:22:27,710 --> 00:22:31,940
傻瓜,你还没流血呢,啊
207
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,480
谁说没流血,满地都是血
208
00:22:37,220 --> 00:22:39,020
哎,怎么这么多血啊
209
00:22:39,950 --> 00:22:41,150
我的戒指上有这么多血
210
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,080
你的戒指挖破你那里,不就流血了
211
00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:50,260
我,啊,血啊,我的妈
212
00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:55,100
啊我不行了
213
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,700
止痛药,快点喂我吃止痛药
214
00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,030
我好痛啊
215
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,440
我跟你说了,不能做
216
00:23:21,230 --> 00:23:23,130
性观念的封闭,禁止
217
00:23:23,260 --> 00:23:25,730
结果令很多中国古代的女性
218
00:23:25,870 --> 00:23:27,890
成为了麻将高手
219
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:31,600
连赌神都不敢和她们打牌交锋啊
220
00:23:31,940 --> 00:23:32,630
为什么呢
221
00:23:32,770 --> 00:23:37,010
因为她们会门前清,不求人,自摸
222
00:23:37,410 --> 00:23:40,350
你看,我说自摸,她就自摸了
223
00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:42,830
爷呀,好姐妹不可以各自为战
224
00:25:42,970 --> 00:25:47,240
要互相帮助,鱼手合欢啊
225
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:45,110
由于古代性文盲影响了很多很多的人
226
00:33:45,250 --> 00:33:48,050
所以产生了不少的同性恋
227
00:33:49,660 --> 00:33:52,420
有些进取的女性为了研习姿势
228
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:53,650
苦练技巧
229
00:33:53,790 --> 00:33:57,520
经常互相切磋,你搓搓我,我搓搓你
230
00:33:57,660 --> 00:33:59,830
切磋,切磋,又切又搓
231
00:33:59,970 --> 00:34:02,490
这些花样叫做水磨豆腐
232
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:04,930
哇,香艳啊
233
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,680
哇,真是好戏一场接一场啊
234
00:36:01,820 --> 00:36:03,880
这些性欲这么强的豆腐西施
235
00:36:04,020 --> 00:36:06,960
堪称历史上的最前卫的妇女解放先锋
236
00:36:07,090 --> 00:36:09,460
她们为了不再受男人那只萧的摆布
237
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:10,650
不惜动用真萧
238
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,390
去承办以后的抽插打桩工程
239
00:36:13,670 --> 00:36:16,140
你看看她,埋头苦干
240
00:36:16,270 --> 00:36:18,000
用尽三寸不烂之舌
241
00:36:18,140 --> 00:36:20,130
都是为了把男人打倒
242
00:36:21,410 --> 00:36:25,400
爷,放在嘴里的萧,编号FU001
243
00:36:25,550 --> 00:36:26,530
永不磨损型
244
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,580
比男人的那只更耐用啊
245
00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:45,410
其实,女人走向同性恋
246
00:38:45,550 --> 00:38:46,880
当然是不对的
247
00:38:47,020 --> 00:38:48,920
可是男人也有责任啊
248
00:38:49,860 --> 00:38:54,880
你看看,啊,喂,别急啊
249
00:38:55,030 --> 00:38:56,660
先做个前奏嘛
250
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,530
啊,我不行了,我不行了
251
00:39:01,670 --> 00:39:03,190
爷呀呀,又早泄了
252
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:06,960
为了解决传宗接代
253
00:39:07,110 --> 00:39:08,870
男子有责的根本问题
254
00:39:09,010 --> 00:39:10,500
固本培元
255
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:14,880
人体根部移植手术老早在中国展开了
256
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:19,110
哇,今夜一轮明月,不下雨才好啊
257
00:39:22,690 --> 00:39:23,820
四更了,动手
258
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,450
为什么要在四更动手
259
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:27,320
不论是人和畜牲的阳具
260
00:39:27,460 --> 00:39:29,950
在鸡鸣的前后是最兴奋,最高潮的
261
00:39:30,230 --> 00:39:31,820
如果在这个时辰做手术的话
262
00:39:31,970 --> 00:39:33,900
将来的效果也特别的好
263
00:39:34,870 --> 00:39:37,430
马跟牛一样,见到红色就会兴奋
264
00:39:37,700 --> 00:39:38,730
抬头喽
265
00:39:43,980 --> 00:39:45,500
这是麻醉汤,你喝了之后
266
00:39:45,650 --> 00:39:47,910
下半身就会麻醉,不觉得痛了
267
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,580
喂,小兄弟,拿点儿酒给马喝
268
00:39:53,190 --> 00:39:55,680
爷,叫你拿点儿酒给马喝,快点儿
269
00:39:56,090 --> 00:39:58,490
为什么马不喝麻醉汤,而喝酒呢?
270
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,560
有些动物对麻醉汤敏感
271
00:40:00,690 --> 00:40:01,920
马就是其中的一种
272
00:40:02,060 --> 00:40:03,690
所以就用酒来麻醉它
273
00:40:03,830 --> 00:40:05,800
爷,别全喝下去
274
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,060
喂,大夫,那是什么东西啊?
275
00:40:16,340 --> 00:40:17,600
我从西洋画里学来的
276
00:40:17,740 --> 00:40:19,300
是西洋人用来砍头的刑具
277
00:40:19,450 --> 00:40:20,430
叫做断头台
278
00:40:20,580 --> 00:40:22,510
我照着做了个小的,用来做手术
279
00:40:22,650 --> 00:40:23,880
花了不少的本钱哪
280
00:40:24,750 --> 00:40:30,920
切给你看看啊,哼,哼,利害吧?
281
00:40:31,930 --> 00:40:36,950
缩进去了,用不着怕
282
00:40:38,130 --> 00:40:40,690
我不是怕,我刚刚看见一只大老鼠
283
00:40:40,830 --> 00:40:42,230
我这人最怕老鼠了
284
00:40:42,570 --> 00:40:44,130
你怕老鼠,我怕下雨
285
00:40:44,270 --> 00:40:45,400
为什么?
286
00:40:45,540 --> 00:40:47,600
是这样的,我小时候
287
00:40:47,740 --> 00:40:48,760
一个下雨的晚上
288
00:40:48,910 --> 00:40:49,970
我亲眼看见我妈
289
00:40:50,110 --> 00:40:51,740
被一个像你这样的人给强奸了
290
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,140
所以,以后每逢雨夜
291
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:55,680
尤其是打雷闪电
292
00:40:55,820 --> 00:40:59,770
我的情绪就会很激动,很激动……
293
00:41:01,420 --> 00:41:03,150
大夫,大夫……
294
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:05,750
天快亮了
295
00:41:07,460 --> 00:41:08,150
小兄弟
296
00:41:08,290 --> 00:41:10,020
帮忙抓住这个玩意儿,放这儿
297
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,730
第一柱香灭之前,就要做接驳手术
298
00:41:13,870 --> 00:41:15,800
时辰过了,接不接都无所谓
299
00:41:16,070 --> 00:41:17,260
那第二柱香呢?
300
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,630
第二柱香灭之前,就要完成整个手术
301
00:41:19,910 --> 00:41:22,840
别愁眉苦脸的,开心一点,轻松……
302
00:41:22,980 --> 00:41:23,940
我很轻松了
303
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,240
那一定会成功的!
304
00:41:25,710 --> 00:41:32,680
预备了,笑,切,啊……
305
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:52,800
血止住了,好了没有,好了
306
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:59,000
不痛吧? 不痛,哈……
307
00:41:59,650 --> 00:42:02,110
臭小子,真没用,起来啊,起来
308
00:42:12,390 --> 00:42:14,190
干什么? 没什么
309
00:42:14,330 --> 00:42:17,990
没什么,我们继续
310
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,730
哇,一坛子酒全喝光了,还没醉啊
311
00:42:21,870 --> 00:42:23,930
这浑蛋,酒量比我还好
312
00:42:25,100 --> 00:42:27,130
麻烦了,香快烧完了,马还没醉
313
00:42:28,110 --> 00:42:28,800
这样不行啊
314
00:42:28,940 --> 00:42:30,770
我看还是先把你自己的接回来吧
315
00:42:31,110 --> 00:42:32,270
过一阵子再接啊
316
00:42:32,410 --> 00:42:33,940
不能接了,切了一次之后
317
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:34,980
就再也接不上了
318
00:42:35,110 --> 00:42:36,480
那怎么行啊?
319
00:42:37,420 --> 00:42:39,250
我先声明,没时间了,再不接
320
00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:41,220
伤口发炎,会出人命的
321
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:44,650
爷,放开,放开……
322
00:42:44,790 --> 00:42:46,020
被叼走了
323
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,820
喂,死狗,把吊还给我
324
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:50,790
不要吃我的吊啊……
325
00:42:50,930 --> 00:42:55,630
让开,让开,还给我,还给我
326
00:42:55,770 --> 00:42:59,200
给我,还给我……
327
00:42:59,340 --> 00:43:01,470
怎么样,怎么样,找到没有
328
00:43:01,970 --> 00:43:04,840
找是找到了,啊……
329
00:43:04,980 --> 00:43:08,070
不过就剩下这么一点儿了,啊……
330
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:10,780
现在没办法了
331
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:12,680
只有把他的根切下来帮你顶一顶
332
00:43:12,820 --> 00:43:14,220
那我呢? 我怎么办
333
00:43:14,350 --> 00:43:15,550
你做太监的,还用问哪!
334
00:43:15,690 --> 00:43:18,380
我不是人啊,怎么,我也有人权啊
335
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:19,890
谁叫你命苦,卖给人家当书童呢?
336
00:43:20,030 --> 00:43:20,920
还讲什么人权?
337
00:43:21,060 --> 00:43:22,530
中国人的人权,就是有得吃,有得穿
338
00:43:22,660 --> 00:43:23,690
那个破烂儿先掏出来
339
00:43:23,830 --> 00:43:24,690
不掏掏出来
340
00:43:24,830 --> 00:43:26,920
不掏……臭小子,敢跑……
341
00:43:36,310 --> 00:43:37,940
接着,好
342
00:43:43,620 --> 00:43:47,710
来了,预备,切
343
00:43:56,530 --> 00:44:00,090
喂,大夫大夫………
344
00:44:02,740 --> 00:44:03,930
怎么办………
345
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:26,820
臭小子,起来,臭小子开工了
346
00:44:28,430 --> 00:44:29,450
我来帮你
347
00:44:30,300 --> 00:44:32,290
爷,完了,怎么回事
348
00:44:32,430 --> 00:44:33,630
我的手怎么不能动了
349
00:44:33,900 --> 00:44:35,030
我刚把麻醉汤打洒了
350
00:44:35,170 --> 00:44:36,260
全洒你手上了,啊
351
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:38,670
快把解药拿过来,盆子也端过来
352
00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:47,510
全倒在我手上,怎么样
353
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:50,650
还是不能动啊
354
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:55,450
不行,不动不行啊
355
00:44:55,590 --> 00:44:58,220
大夫,那什么时候才能动呢,是啊
356
00:44:58,360 --> 00:44:59,950
最快要泡半柱香的时间
357
00:45:01,530 --> 00:45:05,860
香也快烧完了,完了,玩完了
358
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,300
天意,天意啊
359
00:45:18,180 --> 00:45:19,640
大夫,你的手能动了
360
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,250
大夫,大夫你的手能动了
361
00:45:23,780 --> 00:45:25,680
啊,干什么大夫
362
00:45:27,150 --> 00:45:30,150
放手,放手啊,大夫
363
00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:44,670
这是什么酒啊,好喝
364
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,100
你听着,开工
365
00:45:54,610 --> 00:45:56,510
嗨,花了几百两银子
366
00:45:56,650 --> 00:45:58,640
终于大功告成了
367
00:45:58,990 --> 00:46:02,180
赶快找一位美女来一显雄风吧
368
00:47:57,240 --> 00:48:00,300
喂小子,有招不是长久管用啊
369
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:04,230
欲火焚身的时候,救火要用梯子
370
00:48:06,050 --> 00:48:09,540
在高空要准确地击中目标很难的
371
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:13,140
爷呀,就算你有充沛的体力
372
00:48:13,290 --> 00:48:17,120
这样做下去也难免腰酸背痛
373
00:49:37,270 --> 00:49:39,640
所谓……上得山多终遇虎
374
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:44,300
对付淫贼,要以其之道还之其人之身
375
00:49:45,240 --> 00:49:47,580
以虎狼阵型,大破淫动武功
376
00:49:47,710 --> 00:49:49,610
不断摧残你的宝贝命根
377
00:49:49,750 --> 00:49:53,840
据说这是中国独有之王道宫刑
378
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:39,150
这个用来对付男人挺好的
379
00:51:39,290 --> 00:51:41,620
但是,对付女人的那些刑法
380
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:43,560
就残酷的多了
381
00:51:44,230 --> 00:51:46,250
这个刑具叫做木马屠城
382
00:51:47,430 --> 00:51:49,990
专门用来对付那些不贞的女人
383
00:51:52,710 --> 00:52:01,580
不要,不要……
384
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:03,310
除了残忍刑具之外
385
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:05,670
还有一种叫做「挑逗性衣」
386
00:53:06,910 --> 00:53:10,370
线条流畅,兼有后现代金属设计
387
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:13,380
穿上去,淑女也会变成淫娃
388
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,210
谁受的了啊
389
00:54:26,490 --> 00:54:27,320
爷,不过呢
390
00:54:27,460 --> 00:54:28,690
并不是所有的女人
391
00:54:28,830 --> 00:54:31,820
都需要靠这么多道具来自慰的
392
00:54:33,030 --> 00:54:35,160
你们看看,这个骚娘门儿
393
00:54:35,300 --> 00:54:38,100
自己洗澡,洗得骚起来
394
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:39,600
有些男人
395
00:54:39,740 --> 00:54:43,000
已经自动自觉的来到侍奉了
396
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,430
这个人呢,平时地似端庄
397
00:54:45,580 --> 00:54:48,100
其实骨子里非常淫乱
398
00:54:48,580 --> 00:54:50,780
爷呀,对付这种骚娘们
399
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:53,250
千万不能手软啊
400
00:54:53,650 --> 00:54:55,680
最要紧的是,直截了当
401
00:54:55,820 --> 00:54:59,850
不用什么花样,扑上去干她一炮
402
00:57:54,270 --> 00:57:56,930
爷呀,刚才是「男奸女」
403
00:57:57,070 --> 00:57:59,940
转眼之间,就是「女奸男」
404
00:58:00,210 --> 00:58:02,670
难道这才是男女平等啊
405
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:05,340
这个世道,要做马上做
406
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:10,410
不过,这位可比不上前面那一位啊
407
00:59:03,470 --> 00:59:05,460
爷,怎么了,怎么了
408
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:09,170
从嘴巴射出来了,爷呀,过头了吧!
409
00:59:25,490 --> 00:59:27,750
暴力本来就是人性的另一面
410
00:59:27,890 --> 00:59:28,720
特别是男人
411
00:59:28,860 --> 00:59:30,620
看见女人贱声贱气
412
00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:32,660
呻吟的样子就特别的兴奋
413
00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:35,790
要不然怎么会引发出多少虐妻案呢?
414
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:43,970
我没力气做,呆会儿吃完饭再做嘛
415
00:59:48,810 --> 00:59:50,010
哼,吃完没有
416
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:53,550
刚刚吃完,谢谢
417
00:59:53,990 --> 01:00:06,260
过来,爬过来,快点……
418
01:02:37,450 --> 01:02:40,480
要扼止男人这种潜伏的兽性
419
01:02:40,790 --> 01:02:43,650
根据我国性书「玉蒲团」记载
420
01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:47,690
首先要改变男上女下的传统姿势
421
01:02:47,830 --> 01:02:50,230
让男人化主动为被动
422
01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:51,730
最要紧的姿势
423
01:02:51,860 --> 01:02:55,260
就是「泰山压顶地盖天」了
424
01:04:02,130 --> 01:04:03,500
中国乃堂堂大国
425
01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:06,400
传统文化固然是历史悠久
426
01:04:06,540 --> 01:04:09,600
造爱花式还真是千变万化
427
01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:12,310
如果悍娇娃配合得不够美妙
428
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:14,040
不如改换一下姿势
429
01:04:14,180 --> 01:04:17,670
尝试一下推波助澜打秋千了
430
01:04:18,020 --> 01:04:20,140
男女老少,古今皆宜
431
01:04:21,450 --> 01:04:23,480
不过你要量力而为啊!
432
01:09:10,210 --> 01:09:13,740
其实,古今中外的女人,种类很多
433
01:09:14,510 --> 01:09:16,500
看得清楚,就容易上手
434
01:09:18,780 --> 01:09:20,940
来啊,学着点儿
435
01:09:24,260 --> 01:09:25,850
第一种是「虎狼型」
436
01:09:26,620 --> 01:09:28,620
你看看她天生一个骚娘们
437
01:09:28,760 --> 01:09:31,520
你对她越粗暴,她越不在乎
438
01:09:31,830 --> 01:09:33,960
她比你还要着急呢
439
01:09:37,670 --> 01:09:42,160
爷呀,你看看她,有多享受啊……
440
01:11:05,290 --> 01:11:08,850
再看第二种就是「绵羊型」
441
01:11:10,030 --> 01:11:13,930
你看看,白白嫩嫩,绝无性病啊
442
01:11:15,030 --> 01:11:17,830
对付这种「杨家有女初长成」
443
01:11:17,970 --> 01:11:19,940
绝不可以粗鲁啊
444
01:11:20,670 --> 01:11:23,370
最主要的是温柔,体贴
445
01:11:23,980 --> 01:11:26,770
当然了,要像抽水烟壶一样
446
01:11:26,910 --> 01:11:29,780
慢慢来,慢慢的享受
447
01:11:30,150 --> 01:11:33,950
又吸又添,细细品尝
448
01:11:34,220 --> 01:11:36,450
爷呀,如果这个妞儿迷上了你
449
01:11:36,590 --> 01:11:41,020
贴一副套房钱她也心甘情愿啊!
450
01:16:38,160 --> 01:16:40,320
好了,到了第三种了
451
01:16:41,630 --> 01:16:43,460
这个叫做「骑师型」
452
01:16:44,830 --> 01:16:46,460
遇上这种女强人
453
01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:49,770
你千万不要跟她争强好胜
454
01:16:50,200 --> 01:16:53,140
首先要放下男人的尊严
455
01:16:53,500 --> 01:16:55,030
让她任意摆布
456
01:16:55,170 --> 01:16:58,070
她要做骑师,你就做千里马
457
01:16:58,280 --> 01:16:59,000
舒舒服服
458
01:16:59,140 --> 01:17:03,310
弄一次「春风得意马蹄足」……
459
01:19:23,590 --> 01:19:26,650
历史学家说过,性欲是文化的原动力
460
01:19:26,790 --> 01:19:28,020
中国人的性观念
461
01:19:28,160 --> 01:19:30,490
随着时代的巨轮不断进步
462
01:20:00,990 --> 01:20:03,050
中国人也逐渐打破封闭
463
01:20:03,190 --> 01:20:04,490
愚昧的性观念
464
01:20:04,630 --> 01:20:06,960
自由自在地去放纵情欲
465
01:20:07,630 --> 01:20:10,190
但是,往往为了自己一刻的欢愉
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01:20:10,330 --> 01:20:13,900
种下了祸根,造成了生态不平衡
467
01:20:14,040 --> 01:20:17,500
危害地球,后果不堪设想
468
01:20:20,440 --> 01:20:22,540
爷呀,未免孽债滚滚来
469
01:20:22,680 --> 01:20:24,650
记着要用避孕套
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