All language subtitles for Archie.S01E01.720p.WEB.H264-DiMEPiECE[EZTVx.to]

Looking back, you'd think
I should have been happier.

Everybody loved the '60s.

I had the beautiful home,

the maid to run
the beautiful home,

the beautiful car

and a beautiful job.

I made movies
and everybody loved me.

I even got to choose my name...

Cary Grant.

Now, isn't that
a beautiful thing?

So you might be asking what
I often ask myself

as I look at my dumb face
in the mirror,

"Why wasn't I deliriously
happy?"

Well, it's a long story.

Here we go.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Cary Grant!

Hello! Thank... Thank you.

You haven't even heard anything
yet, I might be terrible!

We love you, Cary!

-I love you, too.
I love you, too.

Thank you. Thank you.

Good evening.
Good evening. Shh, shh.

You're gonna ask me
some questions,

a whole bunch of questions,
anything you like.

Nothing's off limits.

Of course, if I don't like it,
I won't answer the question.

Hands up.
Madam?

Cary, I've just got to know,
if you and I were married,

what would you want me
to make you for your dinner?

Well, from the way
you asked your question,

I have a suspicion that we might
end up skipping dinner.

Sir?

How do you stay in such great
shape now you're getting older?

Well, I eat everything
that's put in front of me

and I don't do
any exercise at all

apart from the greatest
exercise in the world,

which is... making love.

Sorry.
Making bread, I meant!

How do you create a character?

How do you become someone else?

That's a very good question.

A lot of people think I don't.

They think I just played myself.

Well, I can't play Bing Crosby,
I'm Cary Grant.

But I'll confess something
to you.

He is a character.

Cary Grant... I made him up.

I made up the perfect man...

...in order to survive.

Mum! Mum! Mum!

-Hey, hey, calm down.
What's the matter?

John's hurt himself.

-Oh, my goodness!
Sit down.

Oh, it's all right, my love.

I'll make it better.
How did it happen?

I fell over and there
was some glass.

You told me you'd be careful

if I let you play
with the other boys!

What have the pair
of you been up to?

Honestly,
if you can't be trusted...

There is no meat for tomorrow.

I don't know how you can
just sit there

when you can't put
enough food on the table.

I'm having to make
the boys' clothes.

I've asked you to see
about a promotion, but, no,

you're too content
with your lot.

Well, I'm not.

I'm not content at all.

You're like a yapping dog,
you are.

A yapping bloody dog!
Yap, yap, yap!

Doesn't it bother you
that we are living in penury,

one step away from beggars?

What are you doing out of bed?

John?

It... it really hurts.

Don't worry,
I'll make it better.

Archie, bed!

Come here then.
Let's get you into bed.

I've tried that.
I've tried everything.

He's been sick all night.

-Just let him rest.
The sleep will do him good.

We should take him
to the doctor, it's infected.

The doctor can't do any more
for him

than you already have, hmm?

Look at his ratty trousers!

You hate these, don't you?

All the other boys
have shop-bought trousers.

Hmm.

A gentleman should try to look
well-dressed

whatever his circumstances.

Now, you leave it with me,
alright?

Is John going to be okay?

Your brother is asleep resting,
so don't you disturb him.

What's on the floor?

We don't waste food
in this house, do we?

Pick it up and eat it.

Eat on the floor, please.

You've got a lot to learn, boy.

If you can't eat properly
at the table,

you don't deserve
to be at the table.

Please, Elias, please,
I'm worried about him.

He's feverish.

Oh, God, I should never have
let him out of my sight.

You can't wrap him
in your skirts.

You've got to let boys be boys.

I've told you,
he needs to see a doctor!

Hey.

He's just cut
his bloody hand, alright?

You're overwrought, woman.

You!

I blame you for this!

Oh, God, how will I bear it?

I remember all I really wanted
to do was...

...was feel love.

Would you mind terribly if
we ended the first half there?

I'm feeling a little odd.

I'm not sure I've drunk enough
water today.

Thank you very much.

Aren't you having any?

You eat.

Go on, I'm not hungry.

No!!

I don't see you for 12 days!

I don't know why you bother
to come home at all!

I don't know why either when
this is the reception I get!

Were you expecting open arms?

When you abandon us in favour of
that whore you've taken up with!

-I told you...
-No!

...you're deluded, woman.

I've been in digs.

That's the last time!

-We're hungry, Elias.
Don't you understand?

Because of you, we haven't
got enough food to eat!

I should have listened to my
mother and never married you,

but I won't allow you
to shame me.

Understand that!

No, I don't want to go.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I think it would help you.

They might be able to give you
some medicine for your nerves.

It's only you that frays them.

Since John...

you've not been right.

I'm not mad, Elias.

I've lost my child!

Well, you've got to think
about Archie.

Alright?

You're not being fair
on the boy.

You're all I've got left.

I'll never let you go, Archie.

Mr. Leach, the doctor
will see you now.

Hey, come on now.

Keep your pecker up, my love.

It's for the best,
you know it is.

Stay with me.

I'll be right back
in one moment.

I promise.

I'll be back.

Hold still.

I've decided I'd like
to go home.

My son will be back
from school soon.

I can come again another day.
-You can't go home.

-What do you mean?
Why not?

You're to stay here
till you're better.

On whose authority?

Your husband is
having you committed.

Committed?

But I just came here
to get some medicine.

What's that for?
-It'll calm you down.

-No, please!
I want to go home!

-Orderly!
-No! Elias!

Orderly! Orderly!

-No! Get off me, please!
I want to go home!

No! I want to go home!
Elias!

Please!
-Orderly!

Hello.

Why did Mother not come
to meet me?

Pack up your things.

There.

I don't want to leave home!

What if Mother gets back
and I'm not there?

-Stop your whining.
You haven't even seen inside.

You might like it.

Right, Mabel.
This is Archie.

-We've no room!
-I pay the bloody rent, don't I?

-I don't want him here!
-Right, don't I?

Can't you see I've got enough
on my plate as it is?

He'll fit in,
it's just one more mouth.

I don't like the way he stares
at me with them big eyes.

Like Creeping Jesus.

He'll have to go!

You wait there.

Come on!

We're going to Grandma's and I
won't hear any more about it.

Come on, Ma.

He'll feed and wash himself,
all he needs is a bed.

But he's your responsibility,
not mine.

I don't want him here
disturbing me.

I'll give you two shillings
a week.

And that's all it cost
my father to be free of me.

Week after week,
I'd come home from school

hoping my mother would be there
and we'd be together again,

but she never was.

-Archie!
Where you been?

He don't live here no more.

You tell him, I ain't.

Here, I got you some chips.

Come on, I'll take you out back.

Couple of things to talk
to you about, boy.

First off, I need you to be
a good lad for your grandmother

cos I'm not gonna be able to
see you much more for a while.

Why not?

Because I've got to look
after Mabel now.

And the baby.

So, I'm counting on you
to be a good boy.

Dad, when am I gonna
see Mother again?

Right, well, yeah,
that's the other thing

I need to talk to you about.

You listen to me now,
I've got something to tell you.

I got word this morning...

I'm very sorry
to have to say this,

but your ma's passed away.

Passed away?

She died, Archie lad.

So you won't be
seeing her again.

Now, you be a good boy for your
grandmother like I told you.

Right, I'd best be heading back.

Don't be coming round Mabel's
looking for me now.

Bye, Archie.

Try and think of it like
your ma's in a better place.

And so I was alone, which is
exactly how I found myself

in the summer of 1961

in my beautiful
Benedict Canyon home

with the ink drying
on my third divorce

and Sophia Loren refusing
to answer my many, many calls.

I don't want to go, Jack!

Pool parties aren't my thing.

What is wrong with you?

Why are you pretending
you don't want to be my girl?

You know you're crazy about me.

I'm not playing hard to get,
I'm just not interested.

Careful!

Contrary to appearances,
I'm no pushover.

I can fight and I can bite.

And then there she was.

Stanley.
-Cary, how are you?

-I'm fine.
-Not calling Sophia, I hope?

-No, I've not been calling her.
I told you I wouldn't.

-She's married.
-I promise.

-It's bad news.
-Listen, Stanley.

I need you to set up a meeting
for me with someone.

What did she say, exactly?
The girl?

-What?
Oh, er, yeah.

No, she says, er, no,
she doesn't want to meet you.

-What do you mean?
What?

I thought Hitch could use her
in the movie.

There's a part she's perfect for
in "North by Northwest."

-So, Sophia Loren?
You don't mind me asking?

-Oh, it's... it's done.
She's gone back to Rome.

-Great.
-I do mind you asking.

You can trust me sometimes.

What did she say, exactly?
The girl?

She said she was working
abroad somewhere.

You know, Europe.
Erm, does it matter?

Yes, so she didn't say
she didn't want to meet me,

she said she couldn't meet me.
There's a big difference.

If you say so, Cary.

-Can you give me her name?
What's her name?

Her name is Dyan Cannon.

And she's, er,
she's too young for you.

You know, why can't you
just stay home?

Find some, you know,
easy-going girl.

You know, all she wants to do
is just date some mature

but still beautifully
preserved movie star.

-Alright, come on, the movie.
The spy movie.

I read it, I liked it.

What's it called?

James Bond.

-That's the character.
What's the movie called?

-Oh.
Er, "Dr. No."

The title is "Dr. No."

The money's good.

Yeah, well, they'll be a lot
of exotic travel

and big action sequences.

I'll be waiting a long time
before the studio recoups,

and I get any
of my profit share.

We can talk to them about that.

And they want a 4-picture deal.

I'm sorry, what?

They want me to play
the same character four times?

No.

You can tell them thank you,
but no way.

"Dr. No" way.
-Okay.

And you can tell Dyan Cannon
I'll wait for her to get back.

Okay.

Thank you.

Nice to meet you, Miss Cannon.

I'm Cary Grant.

Can... Er, Cannon.

I'm Dyan Cannon.

Well, we agree on that at least.

Come inside.

Were they alright
at the front gate?

-Yeah, fine.
Everything was fine.

I was in Rome and I
was finishing a picture

and I thought that
all of this had gone away

and then I was really surprised
when I got the call.

Well, it's been quite a
struggle getting to meet you,

but I have to say,
it's worth it.

You're even more attractive
in person.

So are you.

Ha!

Oh, gosh!

It's a breath of fresh air
having you here.

I saw you in an episode
of "Malibu Run"

and I thought
you seemed unobtainable.

I-I have other credits.

Er, I've done
"Have Gun... Will Travel,"

"Zane Grey Theatre,"
"Highway Patrol."

Tell me something
about yourself.

What do you want to know?

Something about you,
not your career.

Erm, erm...

my mother is Jewish
and my father is Christian.

Oh! Okay.

Daddy used to drive us
to synagogue

every Saturday singing
"Jesus Loves Me, This I Know."

And then I'd go inside
and sing it for the rabbi,

which caused quite...

♪ Hey, hey baby ♪

♪ I want to know
if you'll be my girl ♪

♪ Hey, hey baby ♪

♪ I want to know
if you'll be my girl ♪

Mmm. So, it's been
an absolute pleasure, Dyan.

Oh, my goodness!

It's been four hours?

I've been here four hours.
I have to go!

I hope I get to see you again.

-Oh!
Er, what about the movie?

My agent said you wanted
to see me

about a movie
you were producing?

Well, yes, but that was
six months ago.

It's been cast and I'm afraid
we're about to start shooting.

Oh.

So why did you still want
to see me?

Well, because you're a very
difficult woman to pin down,

and I thought I'd grab
a meeting while I could.

To what end?

I was intrigued.

Not a lot of people
keep me waiting this long.

Well, I'm sure it does you good
every now and then

to not always get your way.

She fights and she bites.

Excuse me?

Nothing.

Well, goodbye, Dyan Cannon.

Goodbye, Cary Grant.

He's just through here.

Dr. Hansen.

Ah, Jim!

Cary.

-Hi.
-How are you feeling?

-Fine!
You look flustered.

Do you want some coffee?

Er, no thanks.

I want to discuss what happened
at the show.

Ah, come on then.

Spit it out.

It's that bad, is it?

Well, we ran all the tests,

and I've been talking
with the neurological expert

this morning.
-What?

-And he's in agreement.
-About what?

You've had a mild stroke, Cary.

I just had a bit of a headache,

felt nauseous.

Which are the classic symptoms
of a stroke.

Luckily, it was a mild one.

There appears to be
no lasting damage,

but we must take this
as a warning.

-Must we?
-You're not young anymore.

You need to slow down.

All these personal appearances
you do?

Go gently into that good night?

We've known each other
for many years.

If you don't slow down
and you have another stroke,

it could be fatal.

Yes?

-Five minutes, Mr. Grant.
-Okay.

-Are you alright?
-Yeah. The show must go on.

I don't do autographs,
they're terrible things.

I shake hands if I have to,
I say hello...

Against doctor's orders,
I resumed my tour.

"Why?," I hear you ask.

I will not be answering
that question!

Well, because I still had things
I wanted to say...

...and lots more terrible
questions to answer.

Spinach.
I detest it!

And the applause?

Maybe I got used
to your applause.

Which brings me to dear old
Bob Pender.

Beware the fuzzle of the giants!

Observe the behemoths!

Witness their feet
on the ground!

Their heads in the clouds!

Oh, be careful with it, lad!

It's already got a crack in it!

Sir.

Mr. Pender?

Mr. Pender?

Yeah, what can I do
for you, son?

I really loved watching
your show, sir.

Oh, that's lovely.

I just wondered... I work here
selling programmes,

but how would I go about
having a try-out for you, sir?

I'm very supple.

I play in goal for the school
football team

and I dive about everywhere.

Oh, hello!

Yeah, I can do that better.

Yeah, well,
that needs some work,

but, er, don't worry for now.

How old are you?

14, sir.

Well, if you want to come
and audition,

you need a signed letter from
your dad giving you permission.

Alright?
And if you do okay,

well, we tour
the whole country, you see.

There's even talk of going
to New York.

You can write to me
at this address.

What's your name?

-Leach, sir.
Archie Leach.

Archie Leach!

See you later, Archie.

I can already see your name
in lights!

Archie Leach!

What are you doing?

Just finishing off my homework.

Don't you be staying up
all night using my oil.

"To Mr. Bob Pender, I'm writing
to you about my son,

Archie Leach, who is a strong
boy and is in good health."

Don't... Don't look down,
Archie!

The secret is to lift
your head up.

If you look down, you'll only
see how far you have to fall.

"And I should be very happy
indeed for my son to tour

with your troupe.

He is as good a boy as what
you could wish to have,

very dedicated
and won't eat too much.

Your faithful servant,
Elias J. Leach."

Are you surprised
to see me, lad?

I know you faked the letter.

You can't go to America
without his approval.

I could get arrested,
I could get closed down.

Come on.

He's too young, Mr. Pender.

I mean, he's still just a boy.

What do you care?

I haven't seen you in years.

I'll care enough to give you
a thick ear, lad,

if I have any more of that chat.

How old does he have to be,
Mr. Pender?

Without your permission, 15.

Right, well,
that settles it then.

I'll just wait.

If I have to wait a year,
I'll wait.

And then I'll be off
and there's nothing you can do

to stop me you old bastard!

-You watch your mouth, you...
-Mr. Leach!

Mr. Leach, let's try
and be reasonable, shall we?!

Look, before you know it,
young Archie here,

he'll have left school
and you'll be having to try

and find him some work.

So why not let him
join my troupe

and avoid that burden, eh?

Let him try, with my guidance,
a career on the stage.

And in the circumstances,
I can, of course, offer you

a small payment for
your agreement in this matter,

by way of a signature fee?

You're not
my responsibility now.

My loyalties lie elsewhere.

Our paths won't cross no more,
my lad.

Well, that's settled then.

If you'd like to come with me,
Mr. Leach.

♪ Can you tell
what's on my mind ♪

♪ She's with him
it drives me wild ♪

♪ I'd like to hit him on the
head until he's dead ♪

♪ The sight of blood
is such a high ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ He gives me head ♪

♪ We made it
on a ballroom blitz ♪

♪ I took his arm
and kissed his lips ♪

♪ He looked at me with such
a smile, my face turned red ♪

♪ We booked a room
into the Ritz ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ He gives me head ♪

Behold God's ugly giants!

Observe the behemoths!

Their feet on the ground!

Their heads in the clouds!

♪ I'm gonna make you
be a girl ♪

♪ Ooh ho ho ho ♪

♪ Jet boy jet girl ♪

♪ I know
I'm only just fifteen ♪

♪ I like to kick,
I like to scream ♪

Defying gravity!

♪ And even if I have a kick
or two in bed ♪

♪ When I'm with him
it's just a dream ♪

♪ Ooh ho ho ho ♪

♪ He gives me head ♪

♪ Jet boy,
I'm gonna make 'em penetrate ♪

♪ I'm gonna make you
be a girl ♪

♪ Ooh, ho ho ho ho ♪

♪ Jet boy jet girl ♪

Thank you!

♪ Jet boy jet girl ♪

Remember this, Archie.

It's the best feeling
in the world, lad.

That's love out there
they're giving you.

Wisconsin?

Where's that?

Wisconsin.

It's nowhere.

That's why I came here,
to make my fortune.

For now, I just work
at a department store.

Just stand there all day
watching people

who do have money, spend it
on the things they don't need.

Do you have a fella?

A what?

A boyfriend?

Cos I think you're a smasher.

You're nuts.

Wait here.

This is for you, my lady.

Thank you, sir.

Here, listen to this
and tell me what you think.

I've been practising
since I got here.

Whatever I have tried
to do in life,

I have tried with all my heart
to do it well;

whatever I have
devoted myself to,

I have devoted myself
completely;

in great aims and in small

I have always
thoroughly been in earnest.

-Shut your goddamn mouth!
Do you know what time it is?

It's from Charles Dickens.

What do you think?

Well, I guess you don't
sound so weird,

but you don't sound like
you're from any place I know.

Shh.

Pull it out!

-What?
-You heard, take it out.

You ain't finishing off in me.

You know how babies are made,
don't you?

Well, I ain't taking any risks.

So are we...

You know, are you my girl now?

I ain't anybody's.

But what if I was in love
with you?

Oh, boy, you've got
a lot to learn.

Kid, I've got to keep myself
available.

-Available?
For who?

For the rich guy who's gonna
come and marry me

and take me away.

How else is a girl like me
gonna make her fortune?

Take care, Archie Leach.

I'm gonna be rich.

You'll see.

Bloody hell, she was gorgeous!

Action!

Smoke!

Guns firing!

Look up!

And cut!

Get enough?

And cut!

Print that one please.

Hitch, I have no idea
what the bloody hell's going on!

Who the bloody hell
is trying to kill me?

That's exactly
how I want it to be, dear boy.

I don't want you to know
what it's all about

until your character does.

Well, if you want confusion,
believe me,

you've got confusion.

Speaking of which,
your soon-to-be-ex-wife rang

the house last night,
had a long chat with Alma.

I'm sorry.

It's this divorce, it's proving

to be more complicated
than I thought.

Listen, I have a new girl
I really like

and I think she might
like me, I don't know.

She's playing very hard to get.

But...
Don't tell me anymore.

I don't want to be ahead
of the plot.

Are you trying to kill me
in there?

Can I get some water, please?
And an iron lung!

-Quickly!
Quickly!

You're a difficult woman
to get ahold of.

Cary Grant, how are you?

I'm hopeful.

Hopeful? Of what?

That you might come and have
something to eat with me

at my house tomorrow afternoon.

A friendly dinner?

That sounds like fun.

Finally, I get to see you again!

Thank you so much for coming.

Just all the prying eyes
and everything.

Shall we?
-Sure.

So, what did it in the end?

Was it my charm, my persistence?

Food mostly.

-Ah.
-I'm really hungry.

We have food.

♪ Night and day
under the hide of me ♪

♪ There's an, oh,
such a hungry yearning ♪

♪ Burning inside of me ♪

♪ And this torment
won't be through ♪

♪ Until you let me spend my life
making love to you ♪

♪ Day and night ♪

Big finish.

♪ Night and day ♪

-Bravo!
Get him off!

I didn't know you could sing.

I love that song.

It's my mom's favourite.
-Ouch!

Of course, your mum's favourite.

I played Cole Porter in a movie,
you know,

about a million years ago.

You were fantastic!

Cary Grant soars
to new heights of mediocrity.

I think that was the best review
I got.

But I don't care one jot,
I love to sing.

♪ There was a young lady
called Coleshill ♪

♪ Who unfortunately
sat on a moleshill ♪

♪ The nose of the mole
went right up her hole ♪

♪ And now Miss Coleshill is
fine, but the mole's ill ♪

Mr. Grant, dinner's ready.

Ah, saved by the bell!

Come on.

Come through, come through.

Oh, my God.

Here we are.

Now, this is my side.

And by process of elimination,
that's yours.

Come on.

Cary, I told you this was
just a friendly dinner.

Is this where you normally eat?

Mostly.

Come in, I won't bite.

Shoes off.

That's better.
Comfy?

Yeah.

Here we are!

Thank you.

I hope you don't mind if I
don't stand on ceremony.

I can't bear the formality
of the dinner table.

All that starchy-cloth nonsense.

-No, that's fine.
I just...

-Tuck in.
You did say you were hungry.

I'm always hungry!

How on earth
are you still single?

Because I haven't met
my soulmate yet.

Oh, that's what you want, is it?

Who doesn't?

I want a husband and children.

I want what my parents have.

Well...

You seem so certain.

I was that way once.

What happened?

Er, two divorces,
third imminent.

I realised a long time ago
it wasn't for me.

I'm not good at being married.

That sounds to me
like a cop-out.

I beg your pardon?

Well, you're very good at being
an actor because you work at it.

Maybe you need to work a little
less on your tan

and a little more
on your marriages?

Ouch!

Touché!

Can I ask you
a personal question?

Do I have a choice?

Why did you never have
any children?

I can't have children.

I'm sorry,
I shouldn't have asked.

No, I don't mean physically.

I mean, I don't want them.

I don't want to be married,

I don't want to be
tied down ever again.

I want to be free to be
where I want,

doing what I want
and with who I want.

Here, having dinner with you.

Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you for welcoming us

to your wonderful country.

Sadly, tomorrow our stay
comes to an end

and we return to England.

So, all that's left for us
to say

is thank you,
goodbye and good night!

Hey, cheer up, kid.

It'll turn out alright.

I ain't going home tomorrow.

What do you mean?

I mean, I'm staying.

I ain't got nothing worth
going home for.

I'm gonna stay here
and I'm gonna be a star.

I'm gonna be a star!

Your rent's paid up
for the rest of the month.

If you do change your mind...

...there's money in there
for a return fare.

Good luck, laddie.

Come along!

If you take too long,
the boat will sail without us!