All language subtitles for black-ish.S08E10.720p.AMZN.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV

Dre: In America, education
is the path to prosperity.

The problem is, for centuries,

it was often denied
to Black people.

We were sent to crumbling,
segregated schools,

and even now,

many of our schools are
in crisis or underfunded.

That's why when I had kids,

I was determined to give them
the best education possible.

So we put them
in private school ...

Valley Glen Prep.

The kind of school
that senators, CEOs,

and Ashton Kutcher
send their kids to.

But private school comes with
some trade-offs,

like being among only
a handful of Black families.

So we had to stay ready
to go to war for our kids.

Well, they're not letting Zoey
in honors math.

You know
what that means.

Mm?

I'm about to solve
for an ass-whupping.

[Rapping]
♪ What's up, big mouth?

So, they all did it,

but Junior is the only one
who got in trouble?

[Ding]
Pff!

Dre: He won't be the only one
in trouble now.

[Glass clinking]

Today's menu ...

knuckle sandwiches.

♪ 'Cause I'm not nothing like

♪ Anyone once on the mic

Oh, they say
Jack's being disruptive!

[Ding]

We gotta
go down there.

♪ We got mo', you ain't know

Someone's
about to cut class.

Sure, it's never easy to
always have your guard up,

but that's the sacrifice
you make.

But with our last Johnson child
starting at the school,

we were hopeful
that we would be able

to put our
shields and swords away.

This is an e-mail
from the school.

They are worried

that Devante is not keeping up
with his peers.

But I guess today
is not the day.

I just watched "Karate Kid"
last night, babe.

I'm ready.

- Progress.
- Mm-hmm.

We're not talking
about grades. No.

We're not talking
about grades.

We're talking
about progress.

Pshh.
Progress?

It is always something
with this school.

I mean ...

What, do they like it when
I put them in the hurt locker?

What is he
falling behind in?

[Scoffs]
Sitting still
in a circle?

Watering a plant?

He's in kindergarten!

Mnh-mnh-mnh.

Just what I thought.

Not a drop
of Curaçao left. Mm.

- Use this, baby.
- Mm-hmm.

Okay, what ...
what are you guys doing?

Your mother wanted to do
a little happy hour.

What the lady wants,

the lady gets. Ah.

[Errol Ince's
"West Indian Carnival" plays]

Um, okay.
Well, it is...

[Beep, music stops]

...2:00
in the afternoon.

Hey, you stay out of
grown folks' business.

We're retired, sweetie.

It ain't like we got
anywhere to be.

Okay.
Uh-huh.

Now, what's this I hear
about Devante?

We have a parent-teacher
conference tomorrow

to discuss his "progress."

Ooh.
What?

Y'all get to have
a fight?

Yes.
Oh, yeah.

See, too often, these schools
come up with reasons

to separate our children
from the other kids.

Mm-hmm.

Dakota and Hunter
get fast-tracked

to the AP classes

while our children get
fast-tracked to detention.

- Mm.
- Devante's only in third grade,

and they already trying to
put him in the system.

- What?
- What? Pops, he's in kindergarten.

You go to school
for kindergarten?

Okay,
- you know what?
- Yes.

Dre and I are gonna go
down there tomorrow,

and we're gonna put
a smackdown on 'em.

That's right, baby.
- Aren't we gonna do that?
- Mm-hmm.

That's what we're
- gonna do. Boom.
- Boom! Yes, we are.

Well, not often
proud of you, son,

but this one
- brings a tear to my eye.
- Mm-hmm.

Course, it might just be
the extra scotch bonnet pepper

in the cocktail.
[Sniffs]

Well, you can't have
a Dirty Ruby without the kick.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah? Come on, boo.

- Mm, mm.
- Here we go, baby. Come on.

While Bow and I
took on the system,

Junior was still reeling
from his break-up with Olivia.

[Slurps]

[Sad piano music plays]

[Sighs]

♪

[Glass squeaks]

Diane: Ridiculous.

They broke up
weeks ago.

Future already had
another baby

by the time
Ciara got with Russell.

Have a heart, Diane.

I mean, can't you see
that he's struggling?
Yeah.

Just look at him.

All his muscle gains
from the summer, just gone.

Mm.

You know what?
He needs us.

[Junior slurping]

Hey, friend.

How can we help?

Do you have
a time machine?

No, uh, we don't,

but if we did, we'd use it
to cheer you up,

and I'd have put on
some deodorant this morning.

[Sniffs]

Too late for that.[Groans]

Um, okay.

What if we got you
out of the house,

go to a movie, huh?

Olivia liked movies.

- Oh.
- Yeah, e-everyone likes movies.

Okay, why don't we just
go for a walk?

Get some fresh air, huh?

The last walk Olivia took
was out of my life.

[Slurping]

Mm.
You know what?

Why don't I get you dressed,
and I'll go take you out

for some of those
bottomless breadsticks

at Olive Garden?

- Huh?
- Oh, you do love those.

Bro, are you serious?

Olive Garden?

Olive-ia?

Okay, you know,
I'm gonna stay here,[Cup thuds]

and I'm gonna learn
the blues.

What?

[Bluesy harmonica music plays]

This "Junior being sad" thing
is making me sad,

and I didn't realize
I had emotions.

This is worse
than I thought. Yeah.

We've got to call in
an expert.

Jack, I was...

Charles.

Diane.

This is your expert?

Hey, who better
to help?

Before he got married,

Charlie was dumped
hella times.

Oh, I was dumped
on the way over here

by an old girlfriend
who just got out of a coma.

She thinks
it's still 2000.

Still has
finger waves.

That's why I came up with

my patented "Charlie Telphy
Heartbreak Recovery,

Live Your Best Life
and Go On King,

- Ten-
- Step System to Finding More Fish in the Sea."

Hmm.
Sounds legit.

Mm.
[Door slams]

I'm glad
you all paged me, too.

I'm gonna take
his shattered pieces

and build him to be
a better, stronger,

happier, sexier man.

We'll do
whatever it takes.

Wonderful.

Before we go any further,
there's a matter of my fee.

Oh, yes, your popcorn chicken
is in the oven.

Mmm!
Perfection.

We got a long night
ahead of us.

Put a little hot sauce
on that fee.

Okay.

[Shudders]

On the day of the conference,

we went in
with supreme confidence.

Team Johnson was 12-and-0
against Valley Glen Prep,

and today wasn't going to be
the day we caught an L.

Hi, Dr. and Mr. Johnson.

I will be right with you.

Can I get you some water?

Uh, we're only thirsty
for the truth. Yeah.

But yes, I'd actually
really like some water.

Mm-hmm.
Thank you.

Have me out here on my day off
to talk about my son?

I wish they would.

Let me tell you
something ...

when she comes back,
we're gonna light her ass up.

None of these kids
are special.

None of them.
Look at that.

These kids
are garbage.

Look at that.
What is that, a purple tree?

[Thinking] Hold up.

Is Devante spelling his name
with a backwards "D"?

...bullcrap!

Is that even a "D"?

No.

All kids have problems with
their letters, right?

One plus one equals... Damn.

Some of their handwriting
is better than mine.

Is this school right?

Is the only Black kid in class
not keeping up with his peers?

When she comes back,
I'm telling you right now...

Oh. This is not a good look.

...and that's when we bring up
the idea of a lawsuit, Dre!

No, babe.

Which means Bow is
about to go ham

on this unsuspecting
white woman for no reason.

Hello.
Hi.
We only have sparkling.

Mm-hmm.

Gotta do something.

Aah!

[Grunts]

Mama! I'm having
a heart attack!

Oh, my God!
Baby!

I got you, baby!

Mama!
Call an ambulance!

You gotta do
what you gotta do.

Aah!
Call an ambulance!

Oh, I think I'ma need
an ambulance!

Dre, I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you, okay?

And everything's
gonna be just fine.

It won't be.
It will be.

His "D's"
were backwards, Bow.

Backwards!

Of all the times that you have
decided to fake a heart attack,

this is the first time

that I have supported
your decision.

I don't know where I'd be
without that move in my arsenal.

Mm.
[Inhales sharply]

I'm gonna feel bad when I have
an actual one, though.

Here it is ...
the scarlet letter.

Oh, no, babe.

This is worse than
"The Scarlet Letter."

At least with a backwards "A,"
it's still an "A."

This is not
a good look, Dre.

There's not enough
Black families at the school

for this to happen.

They're all sitting around
judging us,

thinking that we don't read
to our son,

that we let the TV
raise him.

I feel like this school
has just been waiting around

to tear down a Black family
with five kids

who all have
no jump-shot.

Absolutely.

Devante cannot finish last
in his class.

No. Please, no.
Alright?

We've got to bring him
up to speed

for that
"All About My Family" project

that they're gonna put on
display at the Open House.

Absolutely!

And we're taking
no shortcuts.

We're gonna stay
on top of Devante

until he's like that little girl
with the crossover

who won
the spelling bee.

100%.

We will divert resources
from some of our other kids.

That's fine.

We were going to regret Diane
learning so much Russian anyway.

Oh, hell yes.

That child
is frightening.

Okay.

We have now completed
successfully Step One ...

your sexification.

I wish the razor
had slipped.

Hush with that attitude.

You'll never make it
through all 15 steps.

I thought
there were only 10.

Do you want to help
your brother or not?

No.

Look, you're thinking about
all the wonderful things

about your lady
that you miss.

I need you to make a list
of all the things

that you don't miss,
okay?

We got to take her
from hot to thot.

There's nothing wrong with her.
She's perfect.

Yeah. Even I couldn't find
any flaws.

My only knock on her
was her taste in men.

Come on, now.
Junior, no one's perfect.

What?
What, did she snore?

She drive fast?

She has a second family
in Tallahassee?

She look like it.

I mean, sometimes

she hit her teeth
with the fork

when she ate.

Clanky-mouthed heifer.

Whoa, whoa!

I know it's hard,
I know it's hard,

but you got to trust me,
alright?

We got to knock her off
that pedestal in your brain.

Hey, Junior,
remember that time

that we heard her say
"irregardless"?

No-grammar-having hussy.

Okay, this isn't working
for me.

I'm gonna go scour
her social media account

for secret messages
that she misses me.

Uh...

Ugh.

Wow.

We didn't even pay you anything
and I still feel ripped off.

Hmm. This is worse
than what I thought.

We got to skip to Step Six.

Does Olivia have a sister
he can sleep with?

Charlie.

Or a cousin.

[The Jackson 5's "ABC" plays]

Bow and I knew our son
couldn't finish last,

so we leaned into
catching him up

ahead of his
"All About My Family" project.

Hey, buddy.

Let's get this project started.

Ah.

[Sniffs]

Yeah.

♪ 1, 2, 3,
baby, you and me, girl ♪

Ah. Okay.

Let me, uh ... Let me take this
and go show Mommy.

[Quietly]
Backwards "D."

♪ Reading, writing, arithmetic

No.

Hi, sweetie.

Oh, this is nice.

Oh, look at that.

What do you think?

♪ Teacher's gonna show you

♪ Show you, show you

Does Jack have a tail?

♪ Spell me, you

♪ You add the two

♪ Listen to me, baby,
that's all you gotta do ♪

Hey, Devante,
finish this sentence ...

"My family is..."

Poop.

Poop?

I would like to say
"Black excellence,"

but, uh...
"poo" it is.

And all of our efforts
seemed to make a difference.

But would it be enough?

Looks good to me, Dre.

Of course you'd say that.
You have both legs.

Now, is that
supposed to be you, baby?

Mm-hmm.
Ooh.

Black Jesus wept.

Those white folks are
going to eat you alive.

- Come on, Ruby.
- Mm!

Okay.

Leaning in wasn't gonna be
good enough.

My son clearly needed a boost.

It's because I'm Black, right?

You'll be hearing from
my lawyer.

What?[Cellphone beeps]

Turns out
the city won't allow us

to go in the sewer
like Ninja Turtles,

so we got to skip
to Step Seven ...

manifestation.

Or as I like to call it,
"Mental Movies."

Ugh.
This should be good.

I don't think I have
the energy for this.

Bro, it is so easy.

Just set
your intention,

let it go,
and it'll come to you.

I do it all the time.

How do you think I got
all those toothpick swords, huh?

Charlie: Exactly.

So close your eyes

and manifest yourself
the girlfriend you want.

One with good credit
and a donk.

No, I-I don't want to be
with anybody else.

I want to be with Olivia.

She's the only girl I've ever
felt such a connection to.

[Sighs] Look,
I know you're trying to help,

but I don't think
the Charlie Telphy method

is for me.

Charlie: Wow.

I really thought

that "Charlie Telphy's Soup
for the Brokenhearted Soul"

would've fixed him.

I think I gotta rethink
self-publishing this book.

Heading into the open house,

I did what I needed to do
to make sure people knew

that the Johnsons belonged.

How's it going? I see
Devante's got a little buzz.

Hmm.

It's going good,
I think.

Hello.

[Ominous music plays]

♪

[Whispering]
Oh, my God.

What did you do?

- Is it too good?
- Yes!

I was worried
that all these people

were gonna judge Devante,
so I panicked.

- Okay.
- You know, and then I just ... it ...

At first,
I just added some legs,

and then I just got lost
in the art, babe.

Oh, my God.
Who knew
I was so talented?

I am mopping the floor
with these 5-year-olds.

Ha!

Uh, you think
we'll get found out?

Uh, you know,
is this cheating?

It is only cheating
if we get caught,

and we are not
going to get caught.

- Mnh-mnh.
- We are not going to be the Black family who cheats.

So, I don't care if we have to
fake Devante's paintings

all the way through college,
that's what we're gonna do.

We are not showing
our asses ...

Oh, my God.
Ms. Biggs is coming.
What?

So, if she asks...
Mm-hmm.

...just say that Devante
did this all by himself.

We just stick to our story,
and we'll be fine.

Bet.

- Dr. Johnson, Mr. Johnson.
- Hi.

It's so great
- to see you.
- Biggsy.

So good to see you. Yes.

You know, I would love to
have a quick word with you

about Devante's project.

Oh, yeah.
- Sure, sure, sure.
- Mm. Sure. Yeah.

Actually, just you,
Dr. Johnson.
Oh, just me?

Yeah.
Of course.

I-I'm right behind you.
- Okay?
- Yep. Just follow me.

Your hair looks
- so good today.
- Okay, thank you.

Alright.
[Clears throat]

Mm.

Never break.
Mnh-mnh.

Never snitch.

Go.
I'm going.

Mm-hmm.

Principal Biggs was trying to
catch us slipping,

but I knew my baby
wouldn't crack.

Dr. Johnson.
Ms. Biggs.

This is Devante's work
from last week. Mm.

Now, is there anything
you'd like to tell me?

His work
has really improved.

Listen,
I know that every parent

has an instinct to help
their child,

but you're not allowed to do
their work.

What makes you think
we would do his work for him?

5-year-olds don't draw
Gucci labels, Dr. Johnson.

Well, I guess children's talent
reveals itself

at different times,
Ms. Biggs.

Dr. Johnson...
Ms. Biggs.

...did you draw
that picture?

It's Devante's work.

Dr. Johnson,

did you draw
that picture?

That's Devante's work.

Dr. Johnson.

It's Devante's work.[Door opens]

♪

Mr. Johnson.
Hmm?

Can I speak with you?

Alright.

♪

♪

Mr. Johnson,

that's the third time
you've done that.

Let's get this over with.

You're barking up
the wrong tree, Biggsy.

Alright?

The Johnson family clan
is clean.

Now, I'm not accusing you
of anything.

I just have one question,
Mr. Johnson.

Did you draw
that picture?

Pfft,
did I draw that picture.

Mr. Johnson ...

You've got to understand.

We're under so much
pressure here.

Devante can't be the Black kid
that's left behind.

You know how these people
are at this school!

They look at us differently!
It's not fair!

We're always under
the microscope.

Well, I'm gonna put you
under the microscope.

I am gonna call out
this institution.

You can't kick us out.

We quit.

Dre: Hey.
Hey.

How'd it go?

Good.
Good.

We're gonna have to find
our kids a new school to go to.

♪

What?

[TV chatter]

Put on
your clubbing robe.

We've got a surprise
for you.

We're taking you
to Vegas!

Also,
you're out of ink.

I started
self-publishing my book.

I really don't see how that's
gonna make me feel better.

Of course it will.

Vegas is a place where
desperation meets opportunity,

and boy,
are you desperate.

He's not desperate.

He's just sad.

Look, Junior, it's time
we unbreak your heart.

Sure, Olivia was alright,
but you're a cool dude.

I mean, you're tall,
good-looking ...

when you're not smiling ...

and you have a job
that doesn't involve

you embarrassing yourself
on Instagram.

Even though
this didn't work out,

you're still a catch.

You really think that?

You know how I feel
about repeating myself.

[Chuckles]
Yeah.

This dude's an idiot,

but if he can find love,
so can you.

Thanks.

Man, I really need to
wash this thing.

Diane: Mm-hmm.
You sure do.

♪

We can't take the kids
out of school.

It's the middle of
the school year.

Well, you know,
Valley Glen Prep

isn't the only good
private school, babe.

There's Oakwood,
there's Sierra Canyon,

there's that
Catholic school

that had that thing
a few years ago

but they're good now.

Okay, even if we put them
in another school,

how do we know it's
gonna be any different?

We don't.

All I know is that
we've been playing defense

since our kids
have been in school.

Bow, I'm tired.

I'm tired, too.

I mean, it's not
just school.

It just feels like
it's happening a lot lately.

Mm.

We're on the defensive
at work

and with the neighbors.

It's just like,
I can't remember the last time

we didn't have
our guard up.

[Sighs]

We didn't when we were
with Michelle Obama,

and that was fun.

That was so much fun.

Mm-hmm.

And it was easy.

Yes.

And it didn't feel like
all the eyes were on us.

We could just be.

Can't do that here.

At this school,
there's no anonymity.

Everyone knows that
we're the Black family.

Yeah.
So, what do we do?

What?
About Devante in school?

Yeah.

We do what we did
with the other kids.

We live
with the trade-offs.

I guess.

I mean...

we didn't have to make
such a big deal out of this.

It was only a backwards "D."
[Laughs]

Yeah, we definitely could have
handled that differently.

Oh, boy.

I called Biggsy a cop and
knocked over a janitor's bucket.

[Both laugh]

She's a Black lady principal

who gets mistaken
for the lunch lady,

so I'm sure
she can understand

how hard this place is,
right?

I don't know.

Dre, I guess this is
what we have to do

to give our kids
the best.

Yep. [Sighs]

Hmm.

Should we just
keep them here?

Yeah, but let's tell
Biggsy tomorrow.

I told her
I wasn't playing.

If we go back too soon,
she'll know that I was playing.

- Yeah.
- Come on. Let's go.

There is no perfect solution

for where to send
our kids to school.

We want to give them
every advantage.

But sometimes, that comes
at a cost, even to us.

Finger painting?

Boy, they're trying to get
your prints into the system.

I'm not wasting
any more macaroni.

This is silly.

Your real education

is gonna come from
the streets, baby.

Son, when your life
is on the line,

do you really think
a member from Rollin' 60s

is gonna care about
your backward "D's"?

Mm-hmm.
Mnh-mnh.

A backwards "C"
could save your life.

The first essential
skill ...

a pair of shooting dice.

Now, don't put those
in your mouth.

Not unless
it's part of your con.

I've seen it
work before.

I'm gonna get us
some drinks, Earl.

[Scoffs]

Then we're gonna get into
the art of short-changing.

Alright, Devante.

That's Grandma baby.

Just pay attention
to Grandpa here.

Ah!

Snake eyes. Damn.