Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,178 --> 00:00:08,877
["America The Beautiful"
plays]
Dre: The American Dream
says work hard,
2
00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:14,013
pay your dues, and anything
you ever want can be yours.
3
00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:15,884
Unless you're Black.
4
00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:19,888
To get even a tiny drop
of that respect we deserve,
5
00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:22,108
Black people
have to be the best.
6
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:24,763
No, the greatest.
7
00:00:24,806 --> 00:00:27,157
And because
we have to be great,
8
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:31,030
that excellence oozes
through everything we do ...
9
00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:33,728
how we walk, how we talk,
10
00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:36,383
and especially how we look.
11
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,124
We don't have a choice.
12
00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:41,127
Our path to the American Dream
is so narrow
13
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:44,696
that one perceived slip
brings out the haters.
14
00:00:44,739 --> 00:00:48,178
Serena was on her way
to winning another French Open,
15
00:00:48,221 --> 00:00:51,485
but all they could talk about
was her catsuit.
16
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:54,445
Barack Obama went three racks
in his closet,
17
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:57,100
and everyone lost their minds.
18
00:00:57,143 --> 00:00:59,798
So, as always,
Black people gotta do
19
00:00:59,841 --> 00:01:02,888
even more than we already do.
20
00:01:02,931 --> 00:01:05,978
That's why the Johnsons
always bring it.
21
00:01:06,021 --> 00:01:07,936
Time for
- a freshness check.
- Okay.
22
00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,634
So, Adidas top
and sweats,
23
00:01:09,677 --> 00:01:11,375
and I even got the socks.
24
00:01:11,418 --> 00:01:13,159
Okay. No notes.
25
00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:15,901
You are my favorite.
Get outta here.
26
00:01:18,077 --> 00:01:19,731
These shoes don't drop
for another month.
27
00:01:19,774 --> 00:01:21,776
Don't listen
to what I just told him.
28
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:23,474
- You're my favorite.
- Alright.
29
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,260
[Ominous chord strikes]
30
00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:30,437
Whoa! Whoa! Do you think
you're leaving this house
31
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:33,571
looking like you've been rolling
around in flour all day?!
32
00:01:33,614 --> 00:01:35,442
Don't you move.
You stay right there.
33
00:01:35,486 --> 00:01:37,923
Unh-unh! Did you really think
you were gonna leave this house
34
00:01:37,966 --> 00:01:39,620
with them
fire-startin' legs?
35
00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:41,231
What you think
this is, huh?
36
00:01:41,274 --> 00:01:42,884
Mnh-mnh.
I ain't the one.
37
00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:44,930
Devante,
I ain't the one.
38
00:01:44,973 --> 00:01:46,410
What are you doing?
39
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:49,848
He thinks I'm the one, Bow.
I ain't the one.
40
00:01:49,891 --> 00:01:51,415
Come here, boy.
Okay. Oh ...
41
00:01:51,458 --> 00:01:53,591
[Scoffs] Like I'm gonna let
this little boy's knees
42
00:01:53,634 --> 00:02:01,773
undo all of Dr. King's work.
43
00:02:01,816 --> 00:02:04,210
You are presentable.
Beat it. Unh!
44
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,907
I get it, Dre.
He's ashy.
45
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,866
But don't you think you went
a little bit overboard there?
46
00:02:07,909 --> 00:02:09,172
I'm having flashbacks
47
00:02:09,215 --> 00:02:11,130
to when you
shaved Jack's head
48
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:12,479
because his lineup
was off.
49
00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:15,090
There's no such thing
as overreacting
50
00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:17,702
when your family's honor
is at stake.
51
00:02:17,745 --> 00:02:19,878
What my baby
talkin' about?
52
00:02:19,921 --> 00:02:21,140
Our family honor?
53
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,707
This one was
gonna let Devante
54
00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:24,361
go to school ashy.
55
00:02:24,404 --> 00:02:25,623
Oh, Lord.
Rainbow: Dre,
that's not what I said.
56
00:02:25,666 --> 00:02:27,581
She tryin'
to get that baby snatched up
57
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,235
by Black CPS!
58
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:30,323
Mm-hmm.
59
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:32,412
What's... Black CPS?
60
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:34,849
Black Child
Protective Services!
61
00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:36,590
Okay. That's ...
That's not a thing.
62
00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:37,852
Oh, it's a thing.
63
00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:40,072
They guard our kids
64
00:02:40,115 --> 00:02:42,640
against Black parents
who ain't got no damn sense.
65
00:02:42,683 --> 00:02:43,858
Okay.
You.
66
00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:46,687
Snatched up that Baxter boy
when Dre was 7
67
00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:47,819
'cause he always had
68
00:02:47,862 --> 00:02:50,125
crusty eyes
and chapped lips.
69
00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:51,388
That...didn't happen.
70
00:02:51,431 --> 00:02:53,477
You better believe
it happened.
71
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,088
[Scoffs]
Swooped in like the feds
72
00:02:56,131 --> 00:02:59,091
with that, uh,
Elián González
73
00:02:59,134 --> 00:03:01,572
and placed him
with a family of witnesses
74
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:04,096
on the good side
of the 10 Freeway!
75
00:03:04,139 --> 00:03:07,230
Uh, thank you so ...
Thank you so much, Ruby.
76
00:03:07,273 --> 00:03:09,275
- Ashy.
- Yeah, thank you.
77
00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:10,842
[Scoffs]
Thank you.
78
00:03:10,885 --> 00:03:12,496
Yeah, no.
She's right.
79
00:03:12,539 --> 00:03:13,801
Is she?
80
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,020
Yea...
81
00:03:15,063 --> 00:03:17,152
I'm talking about Devante
82
00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:18,676
knowing he should never
leave this house
83
00:03:18,719 --> 00:03:20,373
looking like
a little Dennis Rodman.
84
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:23,289
Well, I think you need to be
a little less worried
85
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,030
about Devante's legs
86
00:03:25,073 --> 00:03:26,118
and a little bit
more worried
87
00:03:26,161 --> 00:03:27,380
about the things
you say to him.
88
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,861
The things
I say to him?
Yeah.
89
00:03:29,904 --> 00:03:32,516
I'm talking no different than
how I talk to all of our kids.
90
00:03:32,559 --> 00:03:34,996
What we learned
about parenting
91
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,651
has evolved
since we had Zoey.
92
00:03:37,695 --> 00:03:40,306
It is very important for us
to stay up on what's new.
93
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:42,787
Just last week,
I heard a podcast
94
00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:44,789
where they shared
new research...
95
00:03:44,832 --> 00:03:49,750
Mm-hmm...saying that the words
we use have meaning,
96
00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:51,970
including the positive ones.
97
00:03:52,013 --> 00:03:54,538
So when we say to our kids,
"Oh, you're so smart,
98
00:03:54,581 --> 00:03:56,714
you're so pretty,
you're so strong,"
99
00:03:56,757 --> 00:03:59,456
they think that
they have no value
100
00:03:59,499 --> 00:04:00,979
if they are not
those things.
101
00:04:01,022 --> 00:04:02,546
Well, what makes a child
valuable?
102
00:04:02,589 --> 00:04:04,069
Because they don't have
no money.
103
00:04:04,112 --> 00:04:07,159
Okay, well,
I just don't want us
104
00:04:07,202 --> 00:04:09,596
to give our kids
a complex.
105
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,772
We're four for four, Bow!
106
00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:14,471
Zoey went to college,
Junior has a job,
107
00:04:14,514 --> 00:04:16,647
Diane takes
all honor classes,
108
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:17,952
and Jack ...
109
00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:20,738
Jack used the can opener
the other day.
110
00:04:20,781 --> 00:04:22,174
I'm not worried.
111
00:04:22,217 --> 00:04:24,307
You know what? Fine, Dre.
Forget I said anything.
112
00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:25,873
I already have.
Okay, great.
113
00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:28,180
I love you so much.
Bye-bye.
Love you, too.
114
00:04:28,223 --> 00:04:29,573
Olivia: Wow.
115
00:04:29,616 --> 00:04:31,139
I'm impressed with the whole
routine they have here.
116
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,271
When I was in school,
117
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,055
any old pervert
could walk on campus.
118
00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:35,927
Oh, no. It used to be
like that over here, too,
119
00:04:35,970 --> 00:04:38,321
before we found out Coach Weeks
wasn't a gym teacher.
120
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:42,325
Whoa! Wha... You guys have
Picture Day tomorrow?!
121
00:04:42,368 --> 00:04:44,675
See, this is the kind
of stuff that should
be in the calendar.
122
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:47,199
Yep, and I know exactly
what my look is gonna be.
123
00:04:47,242 --> 00:04:49,201
Bookish beauty
who turns heads
124
00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:50,594
just by taking off
her glasses.
125
00:04:50,637 --> 00:04:54,598
Mm. Diane, that's just
some dumb movie trope. You ...
126
00:04:54,641 --> 00:04:55,947
Oh, my God!
You're stunning!
127
00:04:55,990 --> 00:04:57,383
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
128
00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,080
What about you, Jack?
What do you got planned?
129
00:04:59,124 --> 00:05:00,647
Oh, I'm just gonna hit it
with my classic ...
130
00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:01,909
the "bless 'em."
131
00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:07,611
♪
132
00:05:07,654 --> 00:05:09,961
Okay. Are you sure you want
to go with that, Jack?
133
00:05:10,004 --> 00:05:11,571
Your high-school
yearbook photo
134
00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:14,618
is one of your top-four
lifetime photos of all time!
135
00:05:14,661 --> 00:05:16,402
Yeah.
It's right up there
with your driver's license,
136
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,404
your passport,
and your wedding photo.
137
00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:20,363
And my personal favorite ...
mugshot.
138
00:05:20,406 --> 00:05:23,409
Look at these baby waves.
I'm not pressed. I got this.
139
00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:25,542
Okay, no, Jack,
this is not a joke.
140
00:05:25,585 --> 00:05:27,761
This picture
will follow you forever.
141
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:30,155
In mine, there was
a weird shadow on my chest,
142
00:05:30,198 --> 00:05:32,375
and everybody thought
I was stuffing my bra.
143
00:05:32,418 --> 00:05:34,507
They called me "Crinkle Cups"
every day after that
144
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,204
for three years.
145
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:37,467
It's how they announced me
at graduation.
146
00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:39,469
Wow.
Yeah.
147
00:05:39,512 --> 00:05:42,472
Uh, thank you, Olivia.
I-I guess it is a big photo.
148
00:05:42,515 --> 00:05:44,952
It is, yeah.
I said that.
149
00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:46,693
Yeah, but you're
- unreliable.
- Yeah, seriously, though.
150
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:47,955
Shouldn't you be at work
right now?
151
00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:49,522
- Get out.
- Get a job, bro.
152
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,350
I got a job.
153
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:52,569
Jack:
- Disappointed.
- Don't play with my bag.
154
00:05:52,612 --> 00:05:56,703
♪
155
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,792
That's a hundred.
156
00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:01,447
Wow. I did not think
you were gonna do it.
157
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,449
And all
for just $44.
158
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,320
Oh, yeah.
159
00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:06,800
Uh, this might be
a bad time to ask,
160
00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:10,021
but I actually need
to borrow exactly $44.
161
00:06:10,064 --> 00:06:12,458
Hey. What's going on,
fellas?[Muffled cough]
162
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:13,981
Check this out.
163
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:17,071
Bow thinks the way
I talk to Devante
164
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:18,159
is gonna mess him up.
165
00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:20,335
Mm.
Well, you named
him Devante.
166
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:22,729
Uh, that doomed him
to ride the bus.
167
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:25,166
But lookit. So what?
You know, he's had
trauma in his life.
168
00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:26,472
Big deal.
169
00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:30,215
Trauma actually makes kids
better, okay?
170
00:06:30,258 --> 00:06:33,218
Look at Kawhi Leonard,
Prince Harry, Batman.
171
00:06:33,261 --> 00:06:35,046
Don't forget about Simba.
[Chuckles]
172
00:06:35,089 --> 00:06:36,613
I had an uncle
just like that.
173
00:06:36,656 --> 00:06:38,789
He tried to kill me
a gang of times.
174
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,487
Yeah. Dre, think about all
the great men we'd miss out on
175
00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:43,184
if they didn't go
through trauma as kids.
176
00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:45,186
I haven't
traumatized him, okay?
177
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,666
I'm just telling him
like it is,
178
00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:49,321
and if I come off blunt,
no big deal, alright?
179
00:06:49,364 --> 00:06:50,409
Kids are resilient.
180
00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:51,758
I completely agree.
181
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:54,457
It is a father's duty
to be direct,
182
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,284
to prepare them
- for the world.
- Mm!
183
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:59,113
It's all this touchy-feely crap
that the moms tell 'em.
184
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:00,680
That's what
screws 'em up.
185
00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:02,856
Yeah, like, uh, "Someone will
love you for who you are."
186
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,815
"Bullies are just
jealous of you."
187
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:07,513
"No one's gonna make fun
of your tail, Josh."
188
00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:09,036
You had a tail?
189
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,168
That tracks.
190
00:07:10,211 --> 00:07:10,951
Hey, Dre?
Dre: Mm?
191
00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,866
Freak here is right.
192
00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:15,565
The real world
needs real talk.
193
00:07:15,608 --> 00:07:17,915
Exactly. If I didn't
give it to him raw,
194
00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:19,351
I wouldn't be doing my job
195
00:07:19,394 --> 00:07:20,918
as a loving, present
Black father.
196
00:07:20,961 --> 00:07:22,354
That's right.
197
00:07:22,397 --> 00:07:24,051
My Black father
was very present.
198
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:25,575
Gave me notes
on everything ...
199
00:07:25,618 --> 00:07:29,404
how to chew my food,
my handwriting, how to snore...
200
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:32,146
how weird my nipples look
through my shirts.
201
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:34,235
By pointing out my flaws,
it made me a better person.
202
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:35,672
Wait, wait, wait.
203
00:07:35,715 --> 00:07:37,978
Is that why you wear vests
all the time?
204
00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:39,632
Because of
your weird nipples?
205
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:40,807
Fashion choice only.
206
00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:43,157
Okay, guys,
thank you for your input,
207
00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:46,987
and my children will not be
developing any weird complexes.
208
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:49,555
They know
that I love them all
209
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,383
and I'm coming
from a good place.
210
00:07:51,426 --> 00:07:54,517
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have some real work to do.
211
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,478
You can see them
through my hands?
212
00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:01,698
Here's the thing ...
I know I'm a good dad.
213
00:08:01,741 --> 00:08:04,222
I'm teaching my children
the right lessons,
214
00:08:04,265 --> 00:08:06,180
and that's why
they're just fine.
215
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:10,271
Kids! Come get this
fancy-ass pizza that's...
216
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:12,317
not as good but more expensive
than Pizza Hut!
217
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:18,149
Devante:
I'm ashy, Daddy.
218
00:08:18,192 --> 00:08:19,977
I don't want to be ashy.
219
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,589
Oh, man.
220
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:24,851
I broke my kid.
221
00:08:26,461 --> 00:08:27,724
[Clattering]
What the hell?
222
00:08:27,767 --> 00:08:29,290
Man:
Police, police, police!
223
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:30,291
Okay!
Black CPS.
224
00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:31,945
Where's the child you broke?
225
00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:39,170
♪
226
00:08:39,213 --> 00:08:40,867
We're taking you with us
to La Jolla.
227
00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:42,042
You'll be safe there.
228
00:08:43,304 --> 00:08:44,392
Devante: Bye, Daddy.
229
00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,046
But you didn't see him,
man!
230
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:49,049
Every time he took a step,
his knees ignited a fire!
231
00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:51,443
It's his mama's fault!
232
00:08:51,486 --> 00:08:54,533
♪
233
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:56,187
[Sighs]
234
00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:57,449
Okay, buddy.
235
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:03,586
I tried to fight it,
but Bow was right.
236
00:09:03,629 --> 00:09:05,457
I gave our kids a complex.
237
00:09:07,154 --> 00:09:09,287
Why do you have
that guilty face?
238
00:09:09,330 --> 00:09:10,462
What did you do?
239
00:09:10,505 --> 00:09:12,246
I think
I broke our baby, Bow.
240
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:15,989
He was putting lotion on
like a redhead on a beach!
241
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,513
The whole room smelled like
a Bath & Body Works.
242
00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:20,559
Oh, Dre...
243
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:23,170
Dre, Dre, Dre, Dre, Dre.
244
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:27,479
It seems as if your...drive
to be the best dad ever
245
00:09:27,522 --> 00:09:31,918
has skidded on the lotion
of your bad decisions.
246
00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:33,703
I told you
this would happen.
247
00:09:33,746 --> 00:09:36,096
Words have consequences!
248
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,055
Two years of saying
"pee in the toilet,"
249
00:09:38,098 --> 00:09:40,405
and this is what sticks?
250
00:09:40,448 --> 00:09:42,233
Ah, I think I messed up
one of our kids.
251
00:09:42,276 --> 00:09:44,539
Mnh.
One of your kids?
252
00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:47,412
Come on, big guy.
All of us need therapy.
253
00:09:47,455 --> 00:09:49,066
What are you talking about?
You're fine, boy.
254
00:09:49,109 --> 00:09:51,155
I can't even play games
'cause you told me
255
00:09:51,198 --> 00:09:52,635
the only point
of competition
256
00:09:52,678 --> 00:09:54,419
is to wipe the floor
with the blood of your enemies.
257
00:09:54,462 --> 00:09:55,855
And?
258
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:57,944
He breaks out into hives
before game night.
259
00:09:57,988 --> 00:09:59,642
See, Dre?
260
00:09:59,685 --> 00:10:01,295
Words are very powerful.
261
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:03,907
But now that you're ready
to evolve, I...
262
00:10:03,950 --> 00:10:07,301
I have the perfect podcast
for you.
263
00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:11,044
[Sweetly]
A child is like a boat,
264
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:16,267
and a parent
is like a gentle breeze.
265
00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:18,356
Those are just my thoughts.
266
00:10:18,399 --> 00:10:20,663
Thoughts from a doctor.
267
00:10:20,706 --> 00:10:23,883
I'm Dr. Rainbow Johnson.
268
00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:28,061
Thank you for listening
to "Bow Knows Parenting"
269
00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:32,152
with Dr. Rainbow Johnson, MD.
270
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:39,116
[Normal voice] Okay.
Well, that did not record.
271
00:10:40,813 --> 00:10:43,468
I didn't mean
to mess up my kid.
272
00:10:43,511 --> 00:10:46,079
I guess I just got to
figure out a way to fix this.
273
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:50,214
No, no! Let the expert
handle Devante.
274
00:10:50,257 --> 00:10:52,912
You just try not to cause
any more damage, alright?
275
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,218
Yeah.
276
00:10:54,261 --> 00:10:56,568
I'm gonna go save
my ... my kid.
277
00:10:58,744 --> 00:11:00,964
Okay, look.
I know this looks bad,
278
00:11:01,007 --> 00:11:03,009
but if we
learned anything
279
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:04,532
from the Michael Jordan
documentary,
280
00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:07,448
it's that there's
a price for greatness.
281
00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:08,972
Oh, no.
Here come the hives.
282
00:11:09,015 --> 00:11:10,538
Okay...
[Groans]
283
00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:15,543
♪
284
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:16,893
Look. Please don't stop
on my account.
285
00:11:16,936 --> 00:11:18,503
I am very entertained.
286
00:11:18,546 --> 00:11:20,331
I've been here for hours,
but I can't figure out
287
00:11:20,374 --> 00:11:21,941
what I'm gonna do
for this school picture.
288
00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:23,377
Nothing I'm trying
is gonna make an impression
289
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:24,683
that'll stand
the test of time.
290
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:26,076
Look, look.
Pew, pew, pew!
291
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:29,993
See? Forgettable.
292
00:11:30,036 --> 00:11:32,082
[Groans]
Bro, you are missing
293
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,475
the forest
for the trees, man.
294
00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:37,304
It's about the whole
look and the vibe you
bring into it.
295
00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:39,829
Okay, um,
what's my vibe right now?
296
00:11:41,221 --> 00:11:44,616
"Grown man who watches
children's movies...alone."
297
00:11:44,659 --> 00:11:47,010
I'm gonna blow this.
298
00:11:48,228 --> 00:11:50,840
Look.
Don't you worry, friend.
299
00:11:50,883 --> 00:11:52,885
I've got your back.
300
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,670
[Kool & the Gang's
"Hollywood Swinging" plays]
301
00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:58,499
♪
302
00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:02,939
So, Diane had gotten
her hooks into Jack,
303
00:12:02,982 --> 00:12:05,898
and it was going to be a test
of whether I could keep myself
304
00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:08,161
from doing lasting damage
to my kids.
305
00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:09,597
♪ Hey, hey, hey
306
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:11,817
Because this...
307
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,601
this was not it.
308
00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:14,951
♪
309
00:12:14,994 --> 00:12:16,213
[Bell dinging]
310
00:12:16,256 --> 00:12:19,651
♪ Say hey, hey, hey
311
00:12:19,694 --> 00:12:20,608
♪ What ya got to say?
312
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:22,785
Look...
313
00:12:22,828 --> 00:12:24,003
at you.
314
00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:25,744
See, Diane's
made me realize
315
00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:27,615
that the way to make
a lasting impression
316
00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:29,661
is to channel
those NBA greats.
317
00:12:29,704 --> 00:12:32,316
If my classmates are gonna
remember me for anything,
318
00:12:32,359 --> 00:12:35,406
it's gonna be that I pulled off
the Full Westbrook.
319
00:12:35,449 --> 00:12:37,060
Wait.
320
00:12:37,103 --> 00:12:39,366
Ah. Can't forget
my timepiece.
321
00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:41,281
It makes the fit.
322
00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:43,153
Yes, it does.
323
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,371
Thanks for your help.
324
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:46,721
The pleasure
was truly all mine.
325
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:48,201
What?
326
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:50,595
While I succeeded
at biting my tongue,
327
00:12:50,638 --> 00:12:53,293
Bow tried to clean up
my mess with Devante.
328
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:55,774
[Chuckles]
Hi, sweetheart.
329
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:57,210
Look at that nice truck!
330
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:59,560
Vroom, vroom, vroom!
331
00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:02,085
So, honey, I wanted
to talk to you
332
00:13:02,128 --> 00:13:05,305
about how crazy
Daddy was yesterday.
333
00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:07,394
He was so crazy, right?
334
00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:09,614
Talking about
all that lotion stuff?
335
00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:11,659
My God, I wish I could say
he's gonna be better,
336
00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:14,227
but we both know he's not.
337
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:16,447
So...
338
00:13:16,490 --> 00:13:17,883
honey, I just want
to make sure you know
339
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:20,581
that there's nothing wrong
with your skin.
340
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:22,453
You're so strong
341
00:13:22,496 --> 00:13:25,760
and so handsome and...
342
00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:27,458
Wait a minute.
343
00:13:27,501 --> 00:13:29,982
Okay, the podcast said
do not focus on beauty
344
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,679
or he is going to become
an egomaniac.
345
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:32,898
I got this.
346
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,595
[Inhales sharply]
347
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:37,076
Devante...
348
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,426
you are so smart.
349
00:13:41,776 --> 00:13:45,606
Goop said compliments
are the new smoking.
350
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,870
Okay. Honey...
351
00:13:47,913 --> 00:13:49,915
I just want you to understand
352
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,222
that you...
353
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:55,442
you are
my special little boy ...
354
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:58,924
but not so special
or so handsome or so smart
355
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:00,360
that you're gonna ...
356
00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:03,711
you're gonna become
a sociopath, so...
357
00:14:03,755 --> 00:14:05,061
Do you understand?
358
00:14:05,104 --> 00:14:06,627
[Devante crying]
359
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:09,674
Oh, my God. No.
Oh, God. Oh, no, no.
360
00:14:09,717 --> 00:14:11,981
Okay. Um ...
No, please don't cry!
361
00:14:12,024 --> 00:14:14,374
Please don't cry!
Okay. It's okay.
362
00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:15,593
Sweetheart, it's fine.
363
00:14:15,636 --> 00:14:16,594
Listen. Come here.
364
00:14:16,637 --> 00:14:18,117
Vroom! Vroom!
365
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:20,859
Look at this truck!
This is my favorite truck!
366
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:22,513
Vroom, vroom!
367
00:14:22,556 --> 00:14:24,341
Do you want ice cream
for dinner, honey?
368
00:14:24,384 --> 00:14:25,646
[Crying continues]
369
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:30,869
Oh, look at you!
You look beautiful, baby.
370
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:33,219
I killed Picture Day.
371
00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:36,919
See, without my glasses, people
saw a whole new Diane Johnson.
372
00:14:36,962 --> 00:14:38,703
See, Miguel Juarez
did a double take
373
00:14:38,746 --> 00:14:40,226
when I walked by
like a beer commercial,
374
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,228
and his girlfriend
was maaad.
375
00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:45,231
That feeling never
gets old, you know.
376
00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:46,754
The other day,
I started a fight
377
00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,669
between a couple
at the fruit stand.
378
00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:49,583
Oh.
[Laughs]
379
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:50,976
Ho!
380
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,586
That's what you wore
for Picture Day?
381
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:54,893
Yeah. Isn't it dope?
What you think, Grandma?
382
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:57,765
Well, what I think is,
um...
383
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:02,161
I'm gonna buy
a dozen yearbooks
384
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:04,468
and pass 'em out
to all my friends.
385
00:15:04,511 --> 00:15:06,252
Well, you got to let me
autograph 'em
386
00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:07,732
- before you pass 'em out.
- Alright, now.
387
00:15:07,775 --> 00:15:10,039
Dre: Mm-hmm.
388
00:15:10,082 --> 00:15:12,432
You cannot
be okay with that.
389
00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:15,218
Well, you know, he's just
expressing himself.
390
00:15:15,261 --> 00:15:17,872
He looks like
he's expressing himself
391
00:15:17,916 --> 00:15:19,831
right into clown college!
392
00:15:19,874 --> 00:15:21,485
You know, I think
I have a connect
393
00:15:21,528 --> 00:15:22,747
on the yearbook committee.
394
00:15:22,790 --> 00:15:24,967
Maybe I can get
the photo wiped?
395
00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:26,533
How you gonna
have your son
396
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,318
out in the streets
looking like that?
397
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:31,321
Why didn't you talk some sense
into that boy?
398
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,932
I'm trying to watch
how I talk to our kids
399
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:37,066
because I'm afraid
I'm messing them up.
400
00:15:37,109 --> 00:15:39,024
What you talking about?
Those kids are fine.
401
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:41,592
Are they?
Because I don't know that.
402
00:15:41,635 --> 00:15:45,030
Warning Devante not to be ashy
probably gave him nightmares.
403
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:47,380
And if I tell him to work hard,
is he gonna get obsessive?
404
00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:49,730
And if I tell him
work isn't everything,
is he gonna get lazy?
405
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,123
And if I tell him
to keep his chin up,
406
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,559
is he gonna get
plastic surgery
407
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:54,257
and end up looking like
Michael Jackson?!
408
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,476
Hey, hey, now.
Come on.
409
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,131
Ain't no sense in getting
all emotional, pumpkin.
410
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:00,524
I'm not emotional!
411
00:16:00,567 --> 00:16:02,613
Yes, you are.
412
00:16:02,656 --> 00:16:04,963
Now, you the man
of this house.
413
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,270
You got to keep
your emotions in check!
414
00:16:07,313 --> 00:16:09,402
Just like I've been telling you
since you were a kid!
415
00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:11,230
[Voice breaking]
You're right, Mama.
416
00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:12,753
I'll keep my emotions
in check.
417
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,233
'Course I'm right.
418
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,716
You go on over there and make
yourself a snack or somethin'.
419
00:16:18,759 --> 00:16:20,631
And if you're gonna cry,
you go somewhere
420
00:16:20,674 --> 00:16:22,198
where them kids
won't hear you!
421
00:16:22,241 --> 00:16:23,503
Yes, ma'am.
422
00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:25,505
[Scoffs]
423
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:27,072
I'll cry quietly.
424
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,770
Rainbow: Dre?
[Sobbing]
425
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:32,382
Dre!
What are you doing?
426
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,079
[Crying] My mom said
I shouldn't cry
427
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:35,820
in front of the babies.
428
00:16:35,863 --> 00:16:37,952
I guess our kids aren't the only
ones that are affected
429
00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:41,391
by something that their parents
have said to them.
430
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:42,609
Yeah.
431
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,002
Well...
432
00:16:45,873 --> 00:16:49,094
At least I fixed Devante.
433
00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:50,313
[Whimpers]
434
00:16:50,356 --> 00:16:52,097
[Strained sob]
435
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:53,881
No, I didn't.
436
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:59,278
I blew it!
I blew it big-time!
437
00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:02,368
[Sobbing]
438
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:04,109
I want cake.
439
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:06,024
[Sobbing] There's more
under the sink!
440
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,678
Really?
Yeah.
441
00:17:07,721 --> 00:17:09,723
Chocolate, strawberry.
442
00:17:13,205 --> 00:17:14,685
[Sighs]
443
00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,950
Babe.
Yeah?
444
00:17:20,386 --> 00:17:23,302
Do you think I've been
using these secret cakes
445
00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:25,304
as a way to soothe myself
as I'm trying to control
446
00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:27,263
the natural emotions
I'm pushing down?
447
00:17:27,306 --> 00:17:29,569
Well, Dre, when Junior
dropped out of college,
448
00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:32,790
you gave the bakery half
of your paycheck every month,
449
00:17:32,833 --> 00:17:34,096
so, you know...
450
00:17:34,139 --> 00:17:36,098
Yeah. I'm sorry.
451
00:17:36,141 --> 00:17:37,621
I don't know
what all that was.
452
00:17:37,664 --> 00:17:40,928
You know, I'm just now
starting to realize that...
453
00:17:40,972 --> 00:17:42,843
it was a lot of pressure
growing up in a house
454
00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,671
where I was told
to check my emotions
455
00:17:44,715 --> 00:17:46,586
because I was
the man of the house.
456
00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:50,155
Ugh. That's a lot of
responsibility on a child.
457
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:52,418
Yeah, but get this.
Hmm?
458
00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:54,333
I understand why she was
telling me that.
459
00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:56,248
Why?
460
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:58,076
She was doing her best
to prepare me
461
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,165
for the world
that I was in.
462
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:01,384
Hmm.
463
00:18:01,427 --> 00:18:05,475
But still... I always
had a voice in my head
464
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:09,609
making me feel bad
every time I got emotional.
465
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:14,440
And today I realized
that voice was my mama.
466
00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:16,442
Dre.
Hmm?
467
00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:20,142
We are gonna be the voice
in our child's head.
468
00:18:22,361 --> 00:18:23,580
So what are we gonna do
about it?
469
00:18:23,623 --> 00:18:25,582
I do not know.
470
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:27,627
You know, if ... if we're gonna
fail no matter what...
471
00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:29,194
Mm-hmm.
472
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:31,762
...do we just lean into it?
I-I don't know.
473
00:18:31,805 --> 00:18:33,416
A-Abandon them?
No, Dre.
474
00:18:33,459 --> 00:18:35,157
That's still illegal.
475
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,854
Okay, so we just
live with the fact
476
00:18:36,897 --> 00:18:39,248
knowing we're gonna be the voice
in their heads influencing them
477
00:18:39,291 --> 00:18:42,207
towards every good and bad
decision that they'll ever make.
478
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:43,600
Yes, I think so.
479
00:18:43,643 --> 00:18:45,558
Mm!
480
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:48,996
You know, I ... I have my
parents' voices in my head, too.
481
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,998
- Mm-hmm.
- But they're super positive.
482
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:53,044
They were constantly telling me
over and over and over
483
00:18:53,087 --> 00:18:54,872
and over again
how smart I was, you know?
484
00:18:54,915 --> 00:18:56,482
But it made me believe
485
00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:58,702
that the way
to make people happy...
486
00:18:58,745 --> 00:19:00,356
is to achieve.
487
00:19:00,399 --> 00:19:01,574
Mm.
488
00:19:01,618 --> 00:19:03,315
Oh.
489
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,665
That's why I'm always telling
people that I'm a doctor!
490
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,885
Ha ha! Yeah!
It's the voice in my head!
491
00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:10,235
Ah.
[Laughing]
492
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:13,195
Well, maybe now that you
realize it, you'll stop.
493
00:19:13,238 --> 00:19:15,762
No.
I'm not hurting anybody.
494
00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:17,242
No, you're just
killing them.
495
00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:18,896
I am not killing people,
Dre.
496
00:19:18,939 --> 00:19:20,245
There's, like, one a year.
497
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:21,899
And I don't kill them.
They just die.
498
00:19:21,942 --> 00:19:23,117
It's not my fault.
499
00:19:25,685 --> 00:19:28,253
[Cellphone chimes]
500
00:19:30,429 --> 00:19:33,737
Oh, wow.
Jack, I am really sorry.
501
00:19:33,780 --> 00:19:36,827
What? Did you make me eat
something that's not food again?
502
00:19:36,870 --> 00:19:39,308
No, somebody from the yearbook
committee leaked your photos.
503
00:19:39,351 --> 00:19:40,483
They're everywhere.
504
00:19:40,526 --> 00:19:41,397
Really?
505
00:19:43,790 --> 00:19:46,576
Oh, no, yo.
They made you a meme.
506
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:47,664
Gimme that.
507
00:19:50,057 --> 00:19:51,798
This is dope!
508
00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:52,886
- Wait. What?!
- Wait. What?!
509
00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:54,323
I'm being shared everywhere.
510
00:19:54,366 --> 00:19:56,150
I got to make merch
and an Instagram
511
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:58,152
where I can localize
all the posts.
512
00:19:59,458 --> 00:20:01,721
Oh, my God.
I could be an NFT.
513
00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:03,070
I'm gonna be a legend!
514
00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:07,597
We do not deserve him.
515
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,991
I've got to figure out
how to screw him out
of that NFT money.
516
00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:14,647
I'm not perfect.
I'm going to make mistakes.
517
00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:18,564
But knowing those mistakes
will become voices in his head
518
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,610
makes the stakes feel too high.
519
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:24,091
All I'm saying is...
we can be imperfect together
520
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:26,050
on the path
to getting better.
521
00:20:26,093 --> 00:20:27,443
Alright?
You get me, son?
522
00:20:28,748 --> 00:20:31,708
I love you, Daddy.
Oh.
523
00:20:31,751 --> 00:20:35,233
But as long as one of those
voices is me saying...
524
00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:37,975
I love you, too,
Devante.
525
00:20:38,018 --> 00:20:41,587
...I've done my job
as a parent.
526
00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:43,197
Okay. Go get ready.
527
00:20:45,417 --> 00:20:47,332
I love you, too, Dad.
528
00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:49,160
Don't you have
your own place?
529
00:20:51,205 --> 00:20:52,511
Jack:
When that meme first dropped,
530
00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:54,426
I thought it would die down
in a few days.
531
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:57,037
But before I knew it,
it took on a life of its own.
532
00:20:57,081 --> 00:20:59,344
I was getting offers
left and right.
533
00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:01,085
My face was on billboards,
they let me dance
534
00:21:01,128 --> 00:21:03,217
at the Puppy Bowl
halftime show,
535
00:21:03,261 --> 00:21:06,177
and I became the co-host
of a new "Soul Train"
536
00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:08,440
with a hologram Don Cornelius.
537
00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:10,224
The meme
became so popular
538
00:21:10,268 --> 00:21:11,574
that I sold my life rights
539
00:21:11,617 --> 00:21:13,271
to the highest
corporate bidder.
540
00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:14,751
That's how I became
a trillionaire.
541
00:21:14,794 --> 00:21:17,928
And that's also how
you guys got your names,
542
00:21:17,971 --> 00:21:20,060
Sierra Mist
and Mountain Dew.
543
00:21:21,540 --> 00:21:23,629
Anyway, let's take
that warp-speed jet
544
00:21:23,673 --> 00:21:25,544
to visit Aunt Diane
and Uncle Michael B. Jordan.
545
00:21:25,588 --> 00:21:27,198
Come on.
39887
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof