Original subtitles

Come on Fernando I'll give you a ride. Thank you Dave.

So you liked her? Oh, I like her.

How did she compare with the women in your country?

The girls in my country don't fuck until they get married.

Wait a minute. Are you a virgin? No, no, no.

I fuck chicks.

Oh, chicks.

No, no, no. Chicks.

Oh, no.

Is that all? Is that all you fucking?

No. Um... I fuck chicks, too.

Cheaps.

Cheaps.

Oh, no.

And you haven't fucked anybody since you've been here? Only Manuela.

Ah, Manuela.

She's pretty, huh? No, him.

Him.

Ah, Fernando, you're too much.

I feel sorry for Fernando.

I'd like to get him laid.

Do you remember my friend Fernando I was telling you about?

Well, he's very shy.

He hasn't been laid in a long time, so he's very horny.

And I wondered if you girls could kind of take care of him, you know?

Show him a good time.

Well, of course, David. We'd love to.

Sure, David.

Is he as nice in bed as you are, David?

Well, to tell you the truth, I've never tried him in bed.

Oh, oh, oh.

I'll go get him.

Girls, this is my friend Fernando.

Oh, very beautiful.

Very beautiful.

Gracias. Gracias.

Very beautiful.

So beautiful.

Very beautiful.

Very beautiful.

Nice señorita.

Very nice.

Beautiful teats.

Beautiful teats.

Well, actually, Fernando.

Yes, señorita. Yes.

We were planning on a threesome.

It was a threesome, yes.

It was a threesome.

Hey, Dave, what have you been waiting for? Got a date.

Will you be here?

Of course, we're the girl.

What is it again for tonight?

Hey.

I thought I'd take her out for a pizza.

Into one of those foreign films.

Then straight home to bed.

Are you planning to fuck her?

Of course I'm planning to fuck her.

Oh, you are very lucky.

How do you get them?

Hey, I got a secret.

Hey, Dave.

I also have a date.

Oh, yeah? Where are you taking her? No place.

I'm staying here.

Oh, then she's coming over.

She's already here.

There's nobody in the room.

Are you trying to tell me you've got a girl here? She's here.

What is this? It's a pussy.

You put it here, and you check off.

Fernando, you've got to do better than that.

It's going to take you. It's better than pussy.

Fernando, you're too much.

I'd like to pick up something for Fernando.

Just something to cheer him up.

Hey, look. Cheap books. Only a quarter.

Sex through hypnotism.

That'll cheer him up.

Hello. Hello.

How are you? Fine. Here's your pizza.

What kind of pizza are you doing?

Um, it is tomato and cheese, and... Please, let's do that.

Hi, Fernando.

Oh, hi, Dave.

How are you? I'm fine. Hey, I got you a terrific present.

Really?

Remember when you asked me what my secret was with women,

how I could get them every time? Yeah.

Well, this is it.

Sex through hypnotism.

Hypnotism.

Can I get a girl with this? You sure can.

You can get them to do anything you want.

And this is for me?

That's for you, buddy.

Oh, Dave, thank you so very much.

You're welcome.

You're a real friend.

You're welcome.

Look, I gotta go. I've got a date.

Oh, thank you. Take care.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Hi, Dave.

Hi, Fernando.

How are you? Exhausted.

Fucking all weekend.

And I have been studying this book.

Oh, yeah?

Would you mind if I try in you? All right.

Okay, Dave.

Relax.

Relax.

Relax.

And look at the shiny objects.

Hurry, come on, three.

You will be under.

One, two, three.

Stand up.

Out your nose.

And pull out your pants.

I'm gonna fuck you.

Stop, stop.

Wake up.

It works. It works.

Hey, Fernando, let me see that book.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Excuse me, miss.

Look at the shiny object.

It is going to relax you.

Hurry, come on, three.

You will be under.

One, two, three.

Follow me.

I'm going to fuck you.

I am going to try again.

What are you gonna do?

I call the pizza girl.

Anyway, I owe her money for the pizza.

Are you in the mood for pizza?

No, I am in the mood for a piece of ass.

There she is.

Want another pizza?

No, no, no, wait.

My friend just wanted to pay for the first pizza.

Well, that's much better.

I pay for your pizza.

I put it away.

Thank you.

What are you studying?

Oh, it's physics.

It's schoolwork.

Would you?

I'm studying hypnotism.

Are you interested in hypnotism?

Not especially, why?

Would you let me hypnotize you? I'm working.

I'll give you $20 if you let me try.

Will it take long? A few minutes.

Okay.

Sit down, please.

Look up here.

Relax, relax.

At the count of three, you will go to sleep.

One, two, three.

Do you see?

She's hypnotized.

Now you are going to Andres, and we are going to fuck you.

Okay? Oh, okay.

I'm coming again.

Okay.

Okay.

I got to pay here.

May I borrow from you $20?

Yeah, I haven't got 20 bucks.

Oh, no.

No problem.

You girl, you are going to forget everything.

You are going to forget the money.

The fuck?

Just get dressed.

Okay.

Come in.

At the count of three, I want you to wake up.

One, two, three.

Is everything all right?

Oh, the money seems to be here.

But for some reason, I feel like I've gotten screwed.

You work.

Sure did, pal.

Fernando, tell me a little about yourself.

What did you want to know?

Oh, anything you want to tell me.

About your family, your hometown, your girlfriend.

Well, I have a fiancé.

I love her very much.

We are going to get married.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, she's virgin.

She's saving herself for me.

Does she also love you? Oh, yes.

Our families arranged our union ever since we were children.

That's beautiful.

That's the command of our tradition.

Excuse me, niece.

May I carry you back? Oh, how nice.

Thank you.

Well, look at this shiny object.

It's going to relax you.

At the count of three, you will go to sleep.

One, two, three.

Now, you carry your package.

Come on. Follow me. I'm going to show you.

Fernando, the girls are here, and they want to see your ring.

Sit down, girls.

This ring is going to relax you.

Just look at the diamond.

Out of count of three, you will be under.

One, two, three.

They are ready.

What do we do now? Sounds nice.

Girls, I want you to make love to each other.

All day, you came on me.

Oh, sorry.

Jole puta.

Pincicabro.

Now, girls, wake up.

That's what happened to you for coming on me and your friend.

Pincicabro, jole puta.

What happened to you?

Fernando, I have a business proposition for you.

Really?

My cousin is getting married and they need a photographer.

So?

You will be the photographer.

I don't know how to take a picture.

It's very simple.

I'm going to borrow John's camera.

It's got an automatic flash.

All you have to do is aim and shoot.

Sounds good.

And it pays $100.

$100?

Now, wait a minute.

That's $50 for you and $50 for me.

Means you are going to do that to your relatives?

It's the snobbish side of the family, and I don't care.

Okay.

Be prepared. Tomorrow is the wedding.

Tomorrow is the wedding.

Dave, please call everybody for the picture.

Hey, everybody, come on.

Please come here and take a picture.

Yeah.

Come on.

My love, please.

I would have read it.

Please relax and watch the camera.

Please relax.

Arigato 3, you will see the flash.

Then you will be under my power.

One, two, three.

Now you wait for my orders.

You go sit down and watch my camera.

Follow me.

We are going to fuck.

I'll start with you.

Come in, come in.

Come in.

You just watch, and you girl give me a hand.

You two, get Andre.

You two, help her.

Move me some more.

Roll some milk.

Come here, come here and help.

Sucking and fucking me.

Okay, okay, enough sucking.

Let's start fucking now.

Okay, all of you, listen well.

What you always wanted to do, do it now.

Fuck and suck without restraint.

I'm exhausted.

You are so rude.

I gotta go.

You will wake up when the telephone rings.

Fernando, you're too much.

You know, when you called and woke everybody up, they didn't know what to do.

But you know, I think they learned a very good

lesson because they're never going to be snobs again.

So any problems?

Well, the groom found a piece of ass he liked better

than the bride, so they're going to get a divorce.

I'm sorry.

Hey, better now than later.

So there is any problems?

My uncle, my uncle was holding the camera,

and we couldn't wake him up till the next day.

So here's your camera.

Thank you.

I'm going to relax you.

Aracamos 3, you will go under.

1, 2, 3.

Miss, you too.

Aichi.

Look at the shiny object.

It's going to relax you.

Aracamos 3, you will go under.

Fernando, you've been fucking too much. You've got to take it easy.

Oh, Fernando.

Why David?

How do you feel? Terrible.

You're fucking like it's going out of style.

You gave me that book.

Well, I didn't expect you to go wild.

Dave, now I have a problem.

What's the problem?

Rosita is arriving today.

Oh, you mean Rosita, the virgin, your bride?

Yes, the woman I love.

That's no problem. I'll go and pick her up.

Mexican, flight 769.

You take care of yourself.

And you take care of her.

I will.

Fernando? I will.

I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you.

What bad news?

Your bride, Rosita. She's not a virgin at all.

That's bad news.

That's not all, Fernando.

I also am in love with her.

And I mean to keep her.

She's in love with me.

Well, David, who isn't?

It's a terrible day.

To losing one day, both my bride and my friend.

Dave, take your flowers and leave.

I'm sorry, Fernando.

Nurse.

Nurse, look at my thermometer.

It is going to relax you.

Relax.

Relax.

Relax.

At a count of three, you will go under.

One.

Two.

Three.

Nurse, now I want you to fuck me.

Suck me until I die.

What's this?

I don't know what happened, doctor.

Do you have to do this with a patient that's here for physical exhaustion?