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In America,
anyone can serve their country
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at the highest levels,
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no matter where you started from.
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Blanche Bruce was born a slave,
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but became a U.S. Senator
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just 10 years after the Civil War.
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Honest Abe's first house
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was smaller than my sneaker closet,
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but his last house
was a little bit bigger.
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Jimmy Carter was a peanut farmer.
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I'm gonna say it again... peanut farmer!
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And he became President.
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And more recently,
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someone went from making
margaritas in Manhattan
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to making history in Congress.
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Anyone can go from the outhouse
to the White House,
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no matter their background.
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You just have to have what it takes.
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Great news, guys!
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I'm running for Congress!
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You mean you're running from Congress.
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At first, I wasn't sure
I had what it takes,
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but it turns out
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a painting I won in a poker game
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was by Jean-Michel Basqui-something.
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So I sold that,
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and now I definitely
have what it takes...
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millions and millions of dollars.
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Ahh, I love the smell of
democracy in the morning.
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Yep, anyone can run...
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damn it.
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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What's your angle with this? Tax scam?
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Trying to launch your
own TV network? What?
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There's no angle.
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I just feel like this country's
given me so much.
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It seems like I can take a little more.
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Boss, I'd trust anyone whose ancestors
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pushed someone off the Mayflower.
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You already have great name recognition.
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Your name's on the wall, my checks,
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all my business cards.
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You support this, Charlie?
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There's always room for one Black guy
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in a campaign like this.
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Bush had Powell, Trump had Carson,
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Obama had... Obama.
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How did you even get on the ballot?
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I'm a rich White man. I asked.
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Gentlemen, I believe it's time
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for me to go get photographed
with an eagle.
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Careful with that bird.
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He was a Christmas present
from Ted Nugent.
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Aah!
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Run, Ginger!
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Well, you're never going to believe
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what Stevens says he's gonna do.
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Hunt Josh for sport?
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Fund a South American coup?
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De-integrate baseball?
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Stop calling Inglewood
a "basketball neighborhood"?
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No, he's gonna run for Congress!
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Oh. Well, that makes sense.
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How does that make sense?
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It's normal behavior
for guys like him...
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when the wiener pills stop working,
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they try to screw the country.
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Problem is White men
don't know how to be bored.
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That's why they're always
opening up vineyards.
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Well, he's wasting his time.
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As soon as Ronan Farrow
gets ahold of that folder
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labeled "Do not show Ronan Farrow,"
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it's over.
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Well, I'm for it.
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I'm in favor of anything
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that brings us closer
to society breaking down.
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Don't get too excited.
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Stevens doesn't stand a chance.
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I wouldn't be so sure.
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A tall White man with
all his original hair?
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He's already got my vote.
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Mm-hmm. Mine too.
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I like that he's a bad person.
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A politician should be willing
to get his hands dirty.
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Marion Barry bought crack.
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You tellin' me he can't handle
the parks department?
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Guys, you really think Stevens
can get elected?
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Dad, I am totally with you.
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What are his chances?
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He's sexist, out of touch,
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completely amoral...
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Oh, God.
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He's gonna win.
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You're probably right, Jack.
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I'm Junior.
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Uh, sorry.
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Kind of been on my own show.
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Anyway, money talks,
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and there's never been
more of it in politics.
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Thank you, Citizens United.
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- That's a soccer team.
- No, it's not.
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Oh, sorry, "football" team.
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Aww, buddy.
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Citizens United was a court case
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that removed limits
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on how much corporations
can spend on elections.
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Mm-hmm.
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Makes it harder for
regular folks to win.
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Sure, it's harder,
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but grassroots candidates
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are running all across the country.
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People are energized.
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When you have ideas
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and the support of the people,
no opponent...
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no matter how much money
they have... can stop you.
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An inspirational candidate
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can ignite the will of the voters,
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fulfilling the true promise
of democracy.
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You almost had me there.
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"True promise of democracy."
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That's good, Bow.
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All right. Who else wants pizza?
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You know Stevens has settled
eight paternity suits?
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I didn't even have to dig.
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He's on Twitter bragging about it.
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Guys, we're dropping McDonald's,
Coca-Cola, and Disney.
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We've got a new, bigger client...
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moi.
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We are gonna make
so much money off of me.
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First things first.
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Josh, purchase me some blue jeans
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so I look approachable
to the lower classes.
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I will order something
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from the Brett Favre collection, sir.
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Okay, this is too much.
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What do you mean?
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I don't know what he stands for,
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and I don't think it should be my job
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to support his ego trip.
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I'm starting to get
uncomfortable with all of this.
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All right, everybody.
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I'm gonna need you all to come with me,
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especially Dre and Charlie.
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Why?
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Okay.
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I'm definitely uncomfortable with this.
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Come on, Dre.
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We got the best seats in the house.
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The camera can see us and everything.
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I'm a tough business leader.
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My opponents are asking,
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"What does a wealthy man
know about the common man?"
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See for yourselves!
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Those are the new Favres!
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I'm very accustomed
to dungaree trousers.
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Why are these people clapping?
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He doesn't believe in anything.
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This is just a joke to him!
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The right person can fulfill
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the true promise of democracy.
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Do you think I'm the right person?
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No, Taylor Swift is.
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Of course it's you, Negro!
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- Do something!
- ...first order of business
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will be to eliminate taxes
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on privately owned submarines.
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Yo, Stevens!
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You know, I'm really happy for you.
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I'mma let you finish, but I'm running.
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Andre Johnson is running for Congress!
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Lock him up!
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Lock him up!
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Lock him up!
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You're running for Congress?
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You said it yourself...
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the right person can win.
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Yeah, but I was talking
about a teacher or a nurse
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or a stunning anesthesiologist.
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What made you think
you were the man for the job?
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Because I'm looking at you right now,
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and you are not.
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Yeah.
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You always say the news
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should be replaced with another ESPN.
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And I stand by that.
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But I still understand
how real people live
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better than somebody who's never known
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what it's like to pay rent.
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Isn't that what we want
from politicians?
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Politicians should also
read up on what the job is.
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Like, um, what district
are you running for, Dad?
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This one?
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Look, I've been thinking.
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All Americans want
the same things, right?
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A life of dignity,
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where they can provide
a future for their children.
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There may be different ways
to achieve that,
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but if we hold on to an idea
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that unites us more than divides us,
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then we can really start
to solve problems.
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Now, I've had a little bit to drink,
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but if I had my eyes closed,
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I'd have thought
that was Obama speaking.
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Yeah, a better-looking, smarter Obama.
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Ain't that right, baby?
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I don't know about this, Dre.
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Bow, I'm serious.
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This is important.
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Without honest people in D.C.,
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how can we expect things to get better?
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And I can't do this on my own.
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Be my Michelle.
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Tell us who you're wearing!
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Who am I wearing?
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My own label, of course.
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Hey, Jay and Bey!
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Aw, you guys left Blue Ivy at my house,
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and now she doesn't want to leave.
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Can we get a comment
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on the tragic death of your husband
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by barbecue-induced heart explosion?
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It's a sad day for our family,
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but a bright day for America
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because I am now president.
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And I'll also be my own Surgeon General.
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Let's do this!
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Yes, we can, Dre.
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Oh, yes, we can.
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Great! Can I be your campaign manager?
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I know all about the election process.
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I even read "No Stoppin' the Populace"
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by George Stephanopoulos.
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Just hire him.
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Fine.
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My family had my back,
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and I was ready to get to work.
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Junior surprised everybody
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by setting up a call with Stacey Abrams.
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Hello, Dre.
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I'm so happy to be talking to you today
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about mail-in voting.
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What? I thought we were
talking about my campaign.
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I may have lied to both of you,
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but since we're here
and the data's free,
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I don't see why we both can't get
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what we want out of this call.
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Okay, look, Stacey Abrams,
I'm running for Congress.
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I want to change the system,
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but I'm not sure where to start.
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Running for office is a lot of work,
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mostly fundraising.
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To beat the big money you're up against,
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you'll need community support.
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Knock on doors, talk at churches
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and union meetings.
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And that'll be enough?
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Oh, definitely not.
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So I can't imagine you pulling it off.
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I was looking for more of a pep talk.
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Um... you've lost weight?
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Well, thank you, Stacey Abrams.
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Wait a second.
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How would you know? We just met.
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I don't need to know you
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to tell you that we need
everyone to vote early.
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The important thing is making sure
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your voice is heard this November.
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Oh, that is not a problem for him.
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He is a very loud man.
270
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,067
Don't you embarrass me
271
00:09:28,092 --> 00:09:29,714
in front of Stacey Abrams, boy!
272
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:33,627
Hey, Stacey Abrams,
can I get an endorsement?
273
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,365
Sorry, Georgia earthquake.
274
00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:36,826
Rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble.
275
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,244
B-Best of luck.
276
00:09:39,802 --> 00:09:43,513
After getting Stacey Abrams'
implicit endorsement,
277
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,252
I decided to follow her advice
and hit the streets.
278
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:50,798
Look at the cute little,
wittle baby with the...
279
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:51,882
Ow!
280
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,518
Hi, neighbor.
281
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,103
I'm Janine Greenstein.
282
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,229
I just wanted to talk to you about...
283
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,522
Ohh!
284
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,065
Dre Johnson for Congress.
285
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,192
Huh.
286
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,819
That kind of worked.
287
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,279
Get up, Janine.
288
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,489
We've got 30 more houses to hit.
289
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,245
I landed on a cactus.
290
00:10:17,270 --> 00:10:19,535
Look, I'm not afraid
291
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,245
to answer that question, Desus and Mero.
292
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,080
When I'm in office,
293
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:26,125
my term is going to be about
making the tough calls.
294
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,960
So here we go...
295
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,462
garlic Parmesan, Cajun,
296
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:30,504
and number one is lemon pepper.
297
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,173
Hold up, my guy!
298
00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:33,340
Buffalo doesn't even crack the top three
299
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:34,592
in your wing ranking?
300
00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:35,801
Are you serious?
301
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,219
Nope. Not for me.
302
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,471
I'm losing my mind right now.
303
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:39,722
I respect that. That's bold.
304
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:40,681
But are you a ranch
305
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:41,849
or are you a bleu cheese kind of dude?
306
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,934
Um...
307
00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:46,520
Say bleu cheese,
you'll look like an elitist.
308
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:47,688
If you say ranch,
309
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,565
the voters will know you're pandering.
310
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,609
How are you gonna
get out of this one, Dad?
311
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,486
You know, I get both.
312
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,780
I like to dip the drumettes in the ranch
313
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,698
and the flats in the bleu.
314
00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,200
Much like America,
315
00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:01,827
I believe in a blending of flavors.
316
00:11:01,852 --> 00:11:02,872
Yes!
317
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,748
Spoken like a true
man of the people, Dre.
318
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,041
You got my vote, man.
319
00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,250
I got to vote for him, as well.
320
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,712
Then the hologram of Biggie
321
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,631
hugs the hologram of Tupac.
322
00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:15,925
Then they both introduce Kendrick Lamar,
323
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:17,551
who introduces me.
324
00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:19,095
Do we have the budget for that?
325
00:11:19,096 --> 00:11:21,889
We have the budget for...
326
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,724
a poster!
327
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,810
Well, well, well...
328
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:28,395
if it isn't my enemy.
329
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,730
I notice you've been making
some headway,
330
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,941
but I've got just the thing for that.
331
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:35,517
Andre Johnson has
over a hundred pairs of shoes.
332
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,321
What's he running from?
333
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,739
Can we trust a man
334
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:41,047
who still lives with his parents?
335
00:11:41,072 --> 00:11:44,161
Face it... Andre Johnson
is out of his depth.
336
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:46,330
And he can't even swim.
337
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,666
Paid for by the powerful friends
of Leslie Stevens.
338
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,044
Outstanding!
339
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,129
Notes, anybody?
340
00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:55,297
Can we make it race-baitier?
341
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:56,173
We'll save the race-baiting stuff
342
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,675
for social-media pudding.
343
00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,510
- You can't air that.
- Thank you.
344
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,262
Not until you switch the last photo
345
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:02,680
to black and white
346
00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:05,266
and slow-zoom on his mouth
to make him look scarier.
347
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:06,684
Whose side are you on?
348
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:10,271
I'm on the side of becoming
Secretary of Transportation.
349
00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:12,606
Gonna finally get my Celica
out the pound.
350
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:13,816
You know what?
351
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,401
I refuse to respond to this.
352
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,694
I've got integrity.
353
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:18,779
When you go low, I go high.
354
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,072
Great.
355
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,490
While you go high,
356
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,450
we'll be going to my $20,000-a-plate
357
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,660
fundraising dinner.
358
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:27,580
My campaign will have made
enough money to crush you
359
00:12:27,581 --> 00:12:29,540
by the time they serve the koala steaks.
360
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,294
Okay.
361
00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:35,296
So, the next time I get you
a radio interview,
362
00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:36,505
try not to say,
363
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:38,048
"Does anyone still listen to this?"
364
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:40,759
Psst! Yo, bro.
365
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,137
Charlie? Is that you?
366
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:44,138
Look, man, they told you,
367
00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:45,139
if you're gonna sleep in the car,
368
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,891
it has to be your own.
369
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,809
Hey, man. You're Dre Johnson, right?
370
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,895
I'm a huge fan.
371
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,229
Look, I heard through the grapevine...
372
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,439
and I have not been
bugging your phone...
373
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,357
that your campaign
could use some funding,
374
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,234
and it just so happens I've got a check
375
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,694
with your name written
all over it, dogg.
376
00:12:58,695 --> 00:12:59,945
- Who are you?
- Come on, man.
377
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,197
Why does that matter?
I'm just a friend...
378
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,406
a friend with some money.
379
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,241
Where's this money coming from?
380
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:05,367
Where's this money coming from?
381
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:06,744
C'mon, Dre, you got so many questions.
382
00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:07,745
It's all good, baby.
383
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:09,205
This is just one stranger
384
00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:10,998
speaking to another stranger in a garage
385
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,917
about funding his campaign
with a bunch of money.
386
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:15,502
Why you gotta be so weird about this?
387
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:17,046
Unh-unh.
388
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:19,340
No one ever gives you
something for nothing.
389
00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:20,424
Learned that the hard way
390
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:21,967
when I took a couch off the curb
391
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,636
and it was full of earwigs.
392
00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:24,678
So, what's the catch?
393
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,764
There's no catch. I just want to help.
394
00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:28,390
You take some money, do some evil,
395
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,017
next thing you know, you're in Congress.
396
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,061
Did you just say "do some evil"?
397
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,562
Why would I say "do some evil"
398
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,189
if I really wanted you
to do some evil, dogg?
399
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,440
I do want you to do evil, though.
400
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,399
But why would I say that?
401
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,943
That's weird. C'mon, man.
402
00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:40,444
- I'm good.
- All right, all right, all right.
403
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,780
Here, take my card.
404
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:44,032
Give me a call if you change your mind.
We can do some evil.
405
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,327
Guy didn't even get into a car.
406
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,829
Just went right back into the shadows.
407
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,206
Hello. I'm calling from
408
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:54,667
the Andre Johnson for Congress campa...
409
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:57,920
Uh, well, that's not a very nice
thing to say to a child.
410
00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:59,213
I have your phone number.
411
00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:00,965
You think I don't have your address?
412
00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,424
My dad's running for Congress.
413
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:03,926
Can we have some money?
414
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,844
Oh, so if I send you 50 bucks,
415
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,388
you'll send back 100?
416
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:08,639
That's a great deal.
417
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,933
And how is the fish prepared?
418
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:14,186
Yum. Let me get two orders.
419
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,355
Yeah, you can charge it to the campaign.
420
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,607
There he is!
421
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,192
Good news, Dre.
422
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,360
Well, I need it.
423
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,320
Some shady dude just tried to bribe me.
424
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,531
Well, you're not gonna need his money
425
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,658
'cause... drum roll, please...
426
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:31,704
today, we raised almost $600.
427
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:32,757
$600?
428
00:14:32,782 --> 00:14:35,165
That's not even enough
for our campaign mailers.
429
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:36,583
And, actually, that was the good news.
430
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,293
Because there's bad news, too.
431
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,380
Stevens just dropped this.
432
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,757
Andre Johnson's running for Congress?
433
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,138
Andre Johnson, not I,
434
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,764
crashed my Toyota Celica
435
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,391
through the window of a doughnut shop.
436
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:55,019
He does not follow the five-second rule.
437
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:57,146
You sold me out, son?
438
00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:59,898
So if I dropped a hot dog right now,
439
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,316
you're not gonna eat it?
440
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,360
I probably would.
441
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:04,987
Look, maybe a lot of people
442
00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:06,864
won't see that Stevens ad.
443
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,491
Well, they'll probably see this.
444
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:13,662
Smart.
445
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,122
It's not technically slander
446
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,582
if it's written as a question.
447
00:15:17,661 --> 00:15:19,585
I was starting to realize
448
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,211
it was going to take
more than my beliefs
449
00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:22,629
to get into Washington.
450
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:25,382
Without money, I was in trouble.
451
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:27,342
...preserve, protect,
452
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:30,220
and defend the Constitution
of the United States,
453
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,014
so help me God.
454
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:34,183
Time's up, Canada.
455
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:42,691
Nooooooo!
456
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:50,074
Hey, I've thought about your offer,
457
00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,575
and I'm in.
458
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,535
Ooh, this is Dre Johnson.
459
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,072
Please give me dirty money.
460
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,857
If I'd learned anything,
461
00:15:58,882 --> 00:16:02,332
it's that I needed to go all-in
to beat Stevens.
462
00:16:02,357 --> 00:16:03,378
Here it is.
463
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,089
Leslie Stevens thinks
464
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:07,615
you're too old to vote.
465
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:11,184
Why else hasn't he come out
against a maximum voting age?
466
00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:13,503
Maybe it's because he supports them.
467
00:16:13,589 --> 00:16:15,632
Leslie Stevens...
468
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:19,590
wrong for Grandpa, Grandma, and America.
469
00:16:19,658 --> 00:16:22,452
I'm Andre Johnson,
and I approve this message.
470
00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:25,875
Riling up the elderly
for personal gain?!
471
00:16:25,907 --> 00:16:27,719
I've never been more proud, son.
472
00:16:27,744 --> 00:16:30,536
It's running during
every local news broadcast.
473
00:16:30,537 --> 00:16:33,497
What happened to
"When they go low, we go high"?
474
00:16:33,498 --> 00:16:35,624
That attitude is for losers.
475
00:16:35,625 --> 00:16:37,251
Michelle Obama said it.
476
00:16:37,252 --> 00:16:39,336
And how many elections has she won?
477
00:16:39,337 --> 00:16:41,463
What about the issues
you said you cared about?
478
00:16:41,464 --> 00:16:43,716
I haven't forgotten dignity
and all that crap.
479
00:16:43,717 --> 00:16:45,175
It's just first things first.
480
00:16:45,176 --> 00:16:46,427
Ugh.
481
00:16:46,428 --> 00:16:48,053
I can call him a sellout, right?
482
00:16:48,054 --> 00:16:50,222
Guys, I know it's not a good look,
483
00:16:50,223 --> 00:16:51,348
but you've got to trust me.
484
00:16:51,349 --> 00:16:53,600
This money is just a means to an end,
485
00:16:53,601 --> 00:16:55,185
and it'll all be worth it
486
00:16:55,186 --> 00:16:57,563
when I beat Stevens
and save a grateful nation.
487
00:16:57,564 --> 00:16:59,481
Next up, is your home toxic?
488
00:16:59,482 --> 00:17:02,776
Unh-unh! Put that local news back on.
489
00:17:02,777 --> 00:17:05,029
I want to know what the silent killer is
490
00:17:05,030 --> 00:17:06,530
lurking under my sink.
491
00:17:07,866 --> 00:17:09,324
Drizzy Dre.
492
00:17:09,325 --> 00:17:13,328
Looking like $9,457.78
in that suit we bought you.
493
00:17:13,329 --> 00:17:15,122
That's very specific.
494
00:17:15,123 --> 00:17:16,331
I got a speech for you to read, my man.
495
00:17:16,332 --> 00:17:17,916
I've already got a speech.
496
00:17:17,917 --> 00:17:20,044
- Does it begin "My fellow Americans"?
- Yeah.
497
00:17:20,045 --> 00:17:21,211
Well, then it's basically
the same speech.
498
00:17:21,212 --> 00:17:23,255
Trust me, it's the least
you could do for us, Dre,
499
00:17:23,256 --> 00:17:25,049
after we paid for your ads, this rally.
500
00:17:25,050 --> 00:17:26,383
Come on, baby,
we're looking out for you.
501
00:17:26,384 --> 00:17:28,844
Now, look, the new speech
will be up on the teleprompter.
502
00:17:28,845 --> 00:17:31,096
- You can read, right?
- Of course I can.
503
00:17:31,097 --> 00:17:33,057
Look at you,
just breaking down stereotypes.
504
00:17:33,058 --> 00:17:34,183
I told you he could read.
505
00:17:34,184 --> 00:17:35,642
C'mon, Dre, let's get
out there and kill 'em.
506
00:17:35,667 --> 00:17:37,519
Your next congressperson,
507
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,022
Andre Johnson!
508
00:17:45,195 --> 00:17:46,881
My fellow Americans,
509
00:17:46,906 --> 00:17:49,716
I stand before you today to promise
510
00:17:49,741 --> 00:17:51,408
that when I'm elected,
511
00:17:51,409 --> 00:17:53,452
I will sponsor legislation
512
00:17:53,453 --> 00:17:56,288
to help the working people
of this country,
513
00:17:56,289 --> 00:17:59,333
everyday people like you.
514
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:04,254
Thus I promise to vote
to slash taxes on business,
515
00:18:04,255 --> 00:18:07,132
provide subsidies to clean tobacco...
516
00:18:08,385 --> 00:18:11,345
Teleprompter man, can you
scroll down a little?
517
00:18:11,346 --> 00:18:13,722
I, Andre Johnson,
518
00:18:13,723 --> 00:18:17,184
will end the tyranny of national parks,
519
00:18:17,185 --> 00:18:19,520
militarize the fire department?
520
00:18:19,521 --> 00:18:21,105
What is this?
521
00:18:25,485 --> 00:18:27,653
I can't do this.
522
00:18:27,654 --> 00:18:31,448
Look, when you have to take
millions from private interests
523
00:18:31,449 --> 00:18:33,158
just to run,
524
00:18:33,159 --> 00:18:35,911
there's no way principles
can come first.
525
00:18:35,912 --> 00:18:37,830
- Even an honest man doesn't stand a chance.
- Damn. His integrity's back.
526
00:18:37,831 --> 00:18:39,206
Let's shut it down, guys.
527
00:18:39,207 --> 00:18:41,708
- The system is set up so that...
- Could have had it all, Dre.
528
00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:42,751
Do you know how hard it was
529
00:18:42,752 --> 00:18:44,545
for me to find a jacket in a 48 Short?
530
00:18:44,546 --> 00:18:46,213
That was made by children,
531
00:18:46,214 --> 00:18:48,549
working all night... maskless.
532
00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:49,758
And it's not about
533
00:18:49,759 --> 00:18:52,094
whether you're a Democrat
or a Republican.
534
00:18:52,095 --> 00:18:54,513
Money corrupts the best of us.
535
00:18:54,514 --> 00:18:55,931
I know.
536
00:18:55,932 --> 00:18:58,308
I'm the best, and it corrupted me.
537
00:18:58,309 --> 00:18:59,560
It did!
538
00:18:59,561 --> 00:19:00,769
Huh?
539
00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:02,938
People, we need to reduce
540
00:19:02,939 --> 00:19:05,023
corporate influence on politics,
541
00:19:05,024 --> 00:19:07,776
stop unlimited money in campaigns,
542
00:19:07,777 --> 00:19:11,113
and keep track of where
funds are coming from.
543
00:19:11,114 --> 00:19:13,449
You can take my stage.
544
00:19:13,450 --> 00:19:15,033
Mm.
545
00:19:15,034 --> 00:19:18,412
You can take the clothes off my back.
546
00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:20,747
But you will never take my voice.
547
00:19:22,709 --> 00:19:23,834
Hmm.
548
00:19:25,628 --> 00:19:27,337
- Mm.
- Aah!
549
00:19:31,092 --> 00:19:34,094
I'm sorry you all
had to see me in my shame.
550
00:19:34,095 --> 00:19:37,097
And people wonder why
I never come home anymore.
551
00:19:37,098 --> 00:19:39,266
Guess I blew my chances at Congress,
552
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:41,685
but at least I stood up
for what I believe in.
553
00:19:41,686 --> 00:19:43,353
Oh, babe.
554
00:19:43,354 --> 00:19:44,897
You didn't do that at all.
555
00:19:44,898 --> 00:19:46,857
It's Stacey Abrams.
556
00:19:46,858 --> 00:19:48,317
Just checking in to see how it went.
557
00:19:48,318 --> 00:19:49,943
Great, great.
558
00:19:49,944 --> 00:19:52,237
I mean, I stood up
for what I believed in,
559
00:19:52,238 --> 00:19:54,531
and then everyone saw my nuggets,
560
00:19:54,532 --> 00:19:56,116
but otherwise great.
561
00:19:56,117 --> 00:19:58,035
What?
562
00:19:58,036 --> 00:19:59,661
An average guy like me
563
00:19:59,662 --> 00:20:01,916
doesn't stand a shot against big money.
564
00:20:01,941 --> 00:20:04,166
It's true. The campaign
with the most money
565
00:20:04,167 --> 00:20:05,501
wins most of the time.
566
00:20:05,502 --> 00:20:07,294
But there are passionate people
567
00:20:07,295 --> 00:20:09,546
who have dedicated their lives
to making change.
568
00:20:09,547 --> 00:20:11,048
They're the ones
who are gonna break through
569
00:20:11,049 --> 00:20:12,174
and beat the system.
570
00:20:12,175 --> 00:20:14,176
It's David versus Goliath.
571
00:20:14,177 --> 00:20:17,054
But never forget,
in that story, David wins.
572
00:20:17,055 --> 00:20:19,681
Stacey Abrams was right.
573
00:20:19,682 --> 00:20:21,350
The odds may seem long,
574
00:20:21,351 --> 00:20:24,228
but with regular folks
like teachers and activists
575
00:20:24,229 --> 00:20:27,064
and mechanics and librarians
getting into politics
576
00:20:27,065 --> 00:20:29,233
and fighting for the common person,
577
00:20:29,234 --> 00:20:31,568
we can look forward to a future
578
00:20:31,569 --> 00:20:34,363
where our government
actually looks like America.
579
00:20:34,364 --> 00:20:37,032
Should I keep up the fight
like Stacey Abrams?
580
00:20:37,033 --> 00:20:38,909
Uh, it hasn't been great.
581
00:20:38,910 --> 00:20:40,452
You're wearing a trash bag.
582
00:20:40,453 --> 00:20:41,745
Half a trash bag.
583
00:20:41,746 --> 00:20:44,623
I... can't turn around.
584
00:20:44,648 --> 00:20:46,504
My God, please don't turn around.
585
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,772
And it appears
business owner Leslie Stevens
586
00:20:50,797 --> 00:20:52,172
loses by one point
587
00:20:52,173 --> 00:20:54,741
to unhinged billionaire
Thad Hearst-Kennedy,
588
00:20:54,766 --> 00:20:56,885
who outspent Stevens 10 to 1.
589
00:20:56,886 --> 00:20:58,262
We did it.
590
00:20:58,263 --> 00:21:01,974
Together, we will rise up
and reinforce the system.
591
00:21:01,975 --> 00:21:04,851
It's disgraceful
that someone with more money
592
00:21:04,852 --> 00:21:08,522
can just waltz in on a lark
and buy his way into power.
593
00:21:08,523 --> 00:21:11,608
What kind of country is this anymore?
594
00:21:11,609 --> 00:21:13,485
If we hadn't just renounced
our citizenship
595
00:21:13,486 --> 00:21:16,697
for tax purposes, I would be horrified.
596
00:21:16,698 --> 00:21:17,907
Hmm!
597
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:23,110
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
42161
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