All language subtitles for andromeda.s01e17.proper.1080p.bluray.x264-greenblade

Trance, I'm telling you.
That waitress really dug me.

We shared this thing,
this, uh, pure,

special, cosmic connection.

Wasn't that what you
said about that stripper

you met on
Mendocino Drift?

The one who
had the elbow

spikes and threatened
to perforate you,

stick a light in your ribcage
and turn you into a planetarium?

She was not a stripper.

Her name was Dusky and
she was a professional dancer.

Besides, Dusky
was just an appetizer.

Hello, my name is Kathleen

is an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Harper, you're supposed
to be using Tundra Flowers

to spread good will
for the Commonwealth,

not meet pretty girls.

Hey! I'm all for
spreading good will.

And if I'm very lucky,

the good WILL commence
any minute now.

- You've invited her on board?
- No.

I chased her away
with my gauss gun

to avoid violating
professional ethics.

That would be Kathleen.

You ready to see
some stars?

Why, thank you,
Mr. Harper

for such a kind offer.

Gerentex.

Now why do I
get the feeling

that you were expecting
someone else?

The long night has come

The system Commonwealth,
the greatest civilization was fall

and now one ship, one crew are
about drive back the night,

they'll gush up the light of civilization

on the starship Andromeda hope lives again

Hey, rat-face!

You owe me
84,000 thrones!

And sorry, but
we're all full of failed,

evil masterminds
right now.

And you're full of something else,
so try back tomorrow.

Don't push me, human.

I can't say that I'd mind

indulging in a little
senseless violence

right about now.

Funny. I was thinkin'
the same thing.

Harper, be careful.

He has two loaded guns and
you only have a bad temper.

Aren't you...dead?

I got better.

Huh. Lucky you.

Now, as much as I'm
enjoying all this blustering,

I have an appointment
with a lovely lady

who demands my
punctual arrival.

And you are going
to take me to her.

What? We're not taking you anywhere!

Let me put it this way,
monkey-brain.

Either you take me
where I want to go,

or I'll send you back
to Captain Valentine

in a box.

Do you practice those
lines in a mirror?

Because they really
need work.

No. He's here.

Who?

I'm looking for a Nightsider.

Well, we have one right here.

Don't stand there staring like
he's the Vedran Empress!

Get us out of here!

He'll kill us all!

Give it up, Gerentex,

you're coming with me!

Dead, alive, or otherwise.

What part of
"Get us out of here"

did you not understand?

Okay. Okay.

Move!

Uh, please secure
any loose articles,

and keep your hands and feet
inside the vehicle at all times.

Oh, shut up.

Hey! Rommie. I was
wondering if you...

...Ooooo, yuck.

Harper.

The amount of garbage he creates
and consumes boggles the mind.

Take this disgusting
substance, for example.

Sparky Cola.

It has no nutritional value,

rots the teeth,

and slowly dissolves
the digestive tract.

And yet he imbibes at least

three thousand milliliters
of it every single day.

Yeah. Harper's twin muses:
"chaos and caffeine."

Somehow, I don't think you came
here to discuss Harper's hygiene.

No. Actually, it's Dylan.

He's been walking around
brooding for the last week.

To be honest, it's a
little, uh, disturbing.

I was hoping you'd know
what was bothering him.

It's personal.

Rommie, as long as I'm
acting as Dylan's First Officer,

it's my job to
look out for him.

I need to know
what's going on.

Back in the days of
the Commonwealth,

High Guard captains
were typically assigned

four-year tours of duty.

In a few days time,

Dylan will have been
aboard this ship...

...for four years.

His final act as captain

would have been to
inspect the Andromeda...

...and turn command over
to his executive officer,

Gaheris Rhade.

His best friend.
The guy who tried to kill him.

I guess now would
be a bad time

to give him
some bad news.

Bad news?

See for yourself.

That is bad.

So, care to tell us the name
of your girlfriend back there?

If you must know,

he goes by the
name of "Reaper".

Bounty hunters, so unimaginative.

So there's a price
on your head.

Oh, good. Maybe I'll get
my money back after all.

If I were you,

I'd spend less time trying
to plot MY downfall...

and more time
trying to guess

what I'm going to do
with the two of you.

Oh, I love playing
guessing games!

Call me a traditionalist,

but when I kill someone,

I really do prefer it
when they stay dead.

Now, be quiet,
the two of you.

- I'm trying to think.
- Don't strain yourself.

Fine. If you
don't want me

to come up with a
way to integrate you

into my brilliant plans...

and use you to
my advantage,

then I'll just kill you
now and be done with it!

No. No! We want you to think.
We encourage you to think.

Hell yeah! We'll even help you.

Why don't you, uh,
tell us what you're up to,

and we'll see if we can
make ourselves useful.

Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you?

Let's have old Gerentex

take us into
his confidence,

reveal his latest scheme
for wealth and success,

and then we'll
betray him

and keep it all
for ourselves!

We would never do that.

- I would.
- True.

Why do I bother?

ah-ah.
Not so fast, rat-face.

If you shoot me, it's
Dosva-Bye-Bye for you.

Well, I'm sure you've got some
explanation to back up your

pathetic little threats.

How's this for
a little known,

yet highly entertaining fact?

You see, whenever
the teacher lets us take

the Maru out on these
little class field trips,

I key the power
generators to my life signs.

You do?

See? Little known.

The point is, if my life
signs should suddenly,

I dunno... expire

the generators overload
and explode like that.

In a heartbeat.
Iin MY heartbeat.

You'd blow up
this whole ship

with your little purple
friend on board?

Trance has come back
from the dead before.

She's, uh, tricky that way.

What makes you think
she can't do it again?

Well let's find out,
shall we?

No!

Yeah. What he said. No.

You hurt her, and I
will kill you myself.

You and which Vedran
cavalry, my boy?

You don't get it, do you?

You harm one
hair on her head,

and I will
come after you.

And then you'll
have to kill me,

because I absolutely
will not stop

until one of us
is Magog food.

- You're bluffing.
- Try me.

See if you can wrap your
little rat brain around this.

You kill her, I kill you.
You lose.

You kill her and you
kill me, the ship blows up.

You still lose.
Either way, you lose.

Excuse me. Can we please
discuss the "killing her" part?

Fine.

I was hoping
to save this for

a more dire
emergency,

but I can see you two
leave me no choice.

I'll have to
resort to Plan B.

Plan B?

Yes. Plan B.

Son of a...

I've just injected you

with a microscopic
generator

which produces quite
a nasty little shock.

All with the
press of a button.

This button.

But why take
my word for it?

I believe the
expression is

"Show. Don't Tell".

Well.

Now.

Who's next?

So, as I was saying,...

the Andromeda debacle

put me into some
serious debt to some

rather unsavory characters.

Tell me, do you
have any idea what

the monthly interest on
eleven million thrones might be?

I know what it is on the
84 grand you still owe me.

Owwwww!! Ow! Ow!

I didn't even say anything!

Oh, I am sorry, my dear, but

I'm afraid I only have one
button, and two hostages.

Where was I?
Oh, yes.

My most brilliant plan ever.

Retrieve the Andromeda,
deliver her to the buyer,...

auction off her Nova
bombs, one by one,

to the highest bidder.

Beautiful.

I should've been

swimming in luxury by now.

Instead, I'm drowning in debt.

How tragic.

Oh, dear, my finger must have slipped.

Well, you know, in this business,
you're only as good as your latest scam.

My strip-mining
venture on Infinity Atoll,...

my Roboto-Courtesan
manufacturing plant,

the religion I founded.

All gone. Forgotten.

This is the part where
you're supposed to say

"Oh, Gerentex, that's so sad."

- Oh, that's so sad!
- Oh, you're breaking my freakin' heart!

So, I find myself on that
rust-bucket drift with no way off.

And to make matters worse,

I was on the verge of
the Big Score, Harper.

Something even bigger
than the Andromeda deal.

A bonanza of
unparalleled plenitude.

Plenitude.
As in cash?

Of course cash, idiot.

And then,

who should I see
but the two of you,

handing out flowers

and getting the brush-off
from that snaggletooth waitress.

Hey! Kathleen was
not snaggletooth.

And you should talk, smiley.

And is that where you
came up with the evil plan?

My dear, those
are the best kind.

So the Perseids
on Sintii Four

think humans will screw
up the new Commonwealth

just like we did
the old one.

Not all of them. Just a
faction on their High Council.

Hohne and your other
supporters have, uh,

the motion locked up in committee,
but it might not stay there.

I've spent almost
an entire year

trying to get worlds to sign
up for the new Commonwealth.

I've managed to get three,
and now one of them

is threatening to back out.

That pretty much
sums it up. Yeah.

And now I'm supposed
to convince them to stay?

I mean who am I kidding?
I'm a soldier, not a statesman.

Oh, don't be so
hard on yourself.

You're at least as good a
politician as I am a first officer.

Yeah.

- That is a compliment, right?
- That's right. Yeah.

Good.

I don't recall giving
you permission to stop.

We are on a
tight schedule.

Look. I'm tired, ok?

My butt's asleep
and I got a mother

of a caffeine
withdrawal headache.

Could you at least
grab me a Sparky?

Oh, you want a Sparky?

Here.

OK, listen to me, and
listen very carefully.

Every time you press that
button, it hurts a little less.

Keep it up, pretty soon
it's not gonna hurt at all.

And then I'm
gonna break free,

crack your skull open, and drink
a beer over your fuzzy corpse.

- Harper, don't say that!
- What? You want me to be nice to him?

You're supposed
to be the good guy.

Correction. Standing next to you,
Beka, Rev, Rommie, Dylan, or uh

well anyway, then I'm
one of the good guys.

But I didn't survive
twenty years

on that hellhole we
lovingly call Earth

by being Santa's
little helper.

I survived by being the
nastiest piece of work

that ever clubbed
someone over the head

in a back alley over
a hunk of cheese.

So, please, keep
pressing that little button.

Get your money's worth.

'Cause then it's gonna be the
worst

day of the end of your life.

You know, I've always
wanted to see a human

glow in the dark.

It must be hard
being a Nightsider.

Excuse me?

Well, once the Commonwealth
evacuated Korendar,

the Nightsiders had
no planet to call home.

Did you know that
there are worlds

where they shoot
Nightsiders on sight?

And they call US a threat
to aquatic ecosystems.

Don't they realize that
our children have to eat?

It's not your fault that Nightsiders
have hundreds of babies...

that eat everything in sight

until they reach dry land
and become sentient.

It's just the way
you evolved.

Well, try telling that to
a village full of Arswan

fishmongers as they
try to run you down.

and impale you
on their boathooks.

It must be awful.

Oh, my dear, you
don't know the half of it.

Do you know, the
only way a Nightsider

can survive these days

is to be so
filthy rich,

so mind-bendingly
wealthy that

people can't help
but accept you.

I'd accept you...
loosening these ropes.

Why don't I just
tighten them

until your limbs pop

like a Than grub under
a magnifying glass?

What's the matter, Gerentex?

Artificial gravity misbehaving?

Sorry, I'd love
to help you,

but I'm a little
tied up right now.

Hey! Why didn't
you do that before?

Well, he was talking

and I didn't want
to interrupt him.

And he had that
buzzer thing.

Well, it's broken now,
so untie me.

I gotta go see
a Nightsider

about an obscenely
large pile of money.

You have to promise
not to kill him.

What?

All right. I promise.

Harper, you promised!

I just promised
not to KILL him.

You think this
frightens me?

I've been tortured
by Nietzscheans.

What a coincidence.
So was I.

You wanna see
some highlights?

Hey!

If this is that
"good cop, bad cop"

game you were
telling me about,

isn't this the
point where

I'm supposed to
play "good cop"?

Sorry, mon chéri.

Welcome to
a new game.

Bad Cop, Worse Cop.

And, uh, guess
which one I am.

Gerentex, why
don't you just tell us

what we want to know?

What do we
want to know?

Oh, the usual.

What's the scam,
how do I get in on it,

what's it worth, and where
do I get my 84,000 thrones!

I'm not telling YOU anything.

Gerentex, this is my nanowelder.

It can cut through
a starship like

a Magog at a
puppy farm.

Maybe it can jog your memory, huh?

Hasturi's diary.

- You're a fool.
- N-N-N-N-No.

I hired one of
my more reliable

acquisition specialists
to contact certain...

parties.

They know where it is.

The original? The real one,

not some bogus copy.

Okay. What is Hasturi's
diary, please?

The journal of Hasturi?
The mad Perseid?

About a hundred
years ago,

he wandered the galaxy
claiming he found a way

through slipstream
back to Tarn Vedra.

The diary is the
documentation

of his journey

to the long-lost capital

of the Systems
Commonwealth

and all its wealth
and splendor.

Whoever finds the diary

and retraces his
path to Tarn Vedra

could command the galaxy.

Or get a Nightsider
out of debt.

Oh, exactly.
And it's all...

Ours.

You're gonna show
us how to find that diary,

and we're taking it.

So what do we offer
the Perseids this time?

Protection. Peace of mind.
Mints on their pillows?

Just don't let
them dissect me.

Relax. I'm not going to
offer the Perseids anything.

If I did, I'd be making the
opposition's case for them.

They say that we're no better
than the Neitzcheans, and

they'd be right.

We have to make
the Perseids see that

not all humans are
consumed by greed.

for money, power,
and control.

And how do
we do that?

Give them clean towels?

OK, we use Gerentex's money
to buy the diary's location.

Then we go back to the
Andromeda and we tell Dylan.

Or maybe we don't
have to tell Dylan.

Either way, we are
going to Tarn Vedra

where the livin' is easy and
the women have four legs!

Aren't you forgetting
something?

Uh, well let me see.

We get fame and fortune.

Gerentex gets nothing.

We make the biggest discovery

in the history of
the known worlds.

Gerentex gets nothing.

What am I forgetting?
Nothing!

Hostile weapons fire.
PDL's activated.

Reaper!

Except him.

Harper! Slipstream!

I'm working on it!

But every time we're almost
out of the star's gravity well,

Chuckles out there
cuts us off and starts

shooting again.

May I make a suggestion?

Uh, let me think.
NO!

Oh, you're right!

Your plan is working so well,

you certainly don't
need my help!

Make it quick.

I'll put this in a way
your tiny mind can grasp.

Our pursuer
wants to kill me,

but he won't
risk his life for it.

That's his weakness.

So if this is a problem in terms
of psychology and mathematics...

our ship has fifty
times the mass

of his little fighter.

Fat lot of good it does us.

His ship is faster, better
armed, and more maneuverable.

We can't out-shoot
or out-flank him.

So don't.

Turn this whale around
and aim straight at him.

If he gets out of
our way, we escape.

If he doesn't,
we run him down.

What?!? At that velocity,
it would vaporize both of us.

Yes, yes, yes. But
he's a bounty hunter,

not a physicist.

Any, uh, thoughts,
your purpleness?

Signs are hazy.
Ask again later.

But we're leaking pions and
AG fields are barely holding.

Fine.

A game of chicken.

Let's bring it.

Entering slipstream.

Woowoo!

Damn, I'm god!

Hello!

Does anyone remember
whose idea it was?

Shut up, rat. Just tell me where to go.

I have several suggestions.

Tell me we're nearing
an end to this tedium.

Dylan's still planetside, trying
to talk sense into the Perseids.

He might as well appeal
to a Nightsider's generosity.

Blind idealism on overdrive.

So, he talks, and we sit.

Unless you've got any bright ideas.

Sadly, I doubt our beneficent
commander would appreciate it

if we were to nuke
the planet from orbit.

Though I can hardly
say I'd mind the exercise.

Threats won't work.

And apparently,
neither will diplomacy.

- Which leaves?
- Valentine-ology.

Albuquerque Drift.

Land of the expensive
and home of the sucker.

Oh, this is so neat!

You can win money,

go to the all-you-can
eat buffet,

and even enjoy
the comedy stylings

of the Supreme
Mirth Inducer, Unru.

I dunno. Perseid
stand-up comedy?

Some things are
just so wrong.

All right, let's
get this over with.

Gerentex, are you there?

Where else would I be?

Oh, the injustice of it all.
The inherent brutality.

It's the system that
keeps us Nightsiders down.

Yeah, yeah. Cry me
a river and drown in it.

Just identify your friend

so we can get out of
Loser's Palace, here, will ya?

Look, at the bar.
Metal hair, nose-ring.

Miss Andulasia, I presume?

And who wants to know?

We're friends of Gerentex.

I prefer associates.

Oh, I don't think you can
ever have enough friends.

Wouldn't you agree?

Uh, yeah, uh....

Shhhh. I prefer my men strong and silent.

Well then you
won't like Harper.

Trance! Will you... I...

Much better.

So, I assume you're here
about the data he wanted?

- Do you have it?
- Oh, I've got it.

I lifted it off of that
wildcatter he told me about,

not long before that
unfortunate run-in with

a faulty airlock.

That's great.

It's not great for
him, but it is for us.

Harper, give her the flexi.

I think that's the amount
you two agreed on.

Oh, it was.

But now, it's a zero short.

But, you had a deal.

Did you really think that I
was gonna stick to that deal?

That is so sweet.

When you get serious,
you know where to find me.

And so do you.

She wants me.

She really wants me!

She wants to
get you alone,

slit your throat, and
rifle your pockets.

But go ahead,
see for yourself.

I will.

Harper! Stay.

And do what?

We can't raise
that kind of cash,

even if we
sold the Maru.

Sure we can.

Yoshidono! Yoshidono!

All hail the conquering Trance.

Place your bets, please,
ladies and gentlemen.

Let it ride.

Bets please...and, no more
bets, please. Le jeu est fait.

Uh, Trance, I think
we have enough.

But I'm just
starting to have fun!

Trance! Now.

I win again!

Ok! Ok! Ok!

Is this enough?

Definitely.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Hey, if you want pleasure,
you're talking to the right guy.

Thanks, but I prefer
my men alive.

My purse?
She just took my purse!

H-h-hey, fellahs!

Uh, nice place
you got here.

You cheated us out
of half a million thrones.

Ok, look, you want
your money back,

you gotta talk
to the nice lady

who just ran
out that door.

You two!
Where's Gerentex?

I'm gonna turn
him into a rug.

Well, that went quite well.

I think it went swimmingly.

This... is why you kill him.

Aren't you forgetting
the math, here?

Dead Harper plus
Reactor Overload

equals Sayonara, Nightsider.

Yes, but it occurs to me

you don't have any vital
organs in your kneecaps.

Do you?

Okay.

Much better.

You know, now that
the moment is upon me,

I must admit to feeling

a tad misty.

Once I find Tarn Vedra,

all the painful struggle,
the years of yearning

will finally be behind me.

I'll buy a lake.

Or maybe a small sea.

Start a harem of fecund
Nightsider females

who'll fill the water
with furry tadpoles...

and watch

as the strongest
of our young

devour the weak in
the ancient dance of life.

Oh. That is so beautiful.

Isn't it?

You know, all I've
really wanted

was a home
and a family of my own.

To change myself
for the better.

You wanna change your life for
the better? Put a bullet in your head.

Seamus Zelazney Harper,

you take that back this instant.

Trance, that - is the bad guy.

Habla es "bad guy"?

Villain? Antagonist? Thug? Pain in the..."

Just because he comes
from a different culture

with different
drives and values

doesn't make him
a bad person.

Hrm... That's strange.

Aren't we forgetting something?

Yes, I think we are.
Something important.

Oh yeah! He killed you!

Not permanently!

And after I saw what
happened at the casino,

I truly regret my
harsh actions.

To think that I
almost... hurt...

such a sweet,
understanding,.

profitable young lady..

I promise I'll
never do it again.

Oh, you don't
have to explain.

I completely understand.

If you hadn't shot me then,

you could have lost
control completely,

and then where
would you have been.

He was just trying
to protect himself.

Exactly.

I couldn't let you play
me for a fool then, and...!

...Not now!

Et tu, Trance?

You know, I Really hoped I
wouldn't have to kill anybody!

Why do you do this?

Huh?

Why do you point guns at
people and threaten them?

I find it very efficacious.

Well, I don't.

In fact,

I think it makes you look
like a complete butt-head.

And if you think you
can try and kill me,

well think again!

No, in fact, I dare you!

Come on!

What's the matter?

You afraid of a
little purple girl?

Yes. You are.

Because you're a criminal,

and all criminals
are stupid,

short-sighted,
self-centered...

You know, hurtful
stereotypes like that

give people like
me a bad name.

No. People like YOU give
people like you a bad name.

If you had half the brain
that you claim to have,

you would know that
if we had worked together,

we would come
out on top.

But no, instead...

you decide to play
stupid power games

about who gets
to have control

and who gives
the orders.

If you keep walking
down this path,

you're going to end up
a very unhappy person.

You really do care,

don't you?

Yes!

Well, I don't care!

I've got the gun,

I'm in control,

and everything is
right with my world.

Hostile weapons fire.
PDL's activated.

Oh, yeah, you got the
world on a string, baby.

And furthermore,

if you can't see what you're
getting out of this deal,

then you are not
just the most petty,

self-righteous technocrats
in three galaxies.

Then you're even
stupider than you look!

Stop.

Yeah. I can explain...
uh, this...

Walk with me.

Oh boy.

It wasn't just that you
insulted the Perseids.

It's the way
that you did it

over, and over,
and over again.

And Beka,
the language,

Dylan, when you
recruited us

to join your
little quest,

you didn't
just appeal

to the better angels
in our natures.

You told us how it
would be good for us.

Yeah, that's funny.

I remember that speech,

and at no point
do I recall

suggesting that you

"get your chins
screwed on straight."

Yeah, well,

I got the Perseids'
attention, didn't I?

And now that
I have it,

we can remind
them why the

Commonwealth deal
works for them.

Assuming they ever
talk to us again.

Dylan, sorry to interrupt

but I have an incoming
transmission

from one of the
Sintii Directors.

Probably Hohne calling.

Pipe it to my quarters.
I'll calm him down.

Actually, it's one of
Hohne's opponents,

and he's asking for Beka.

Faster, Harper, faster.

I'm doing the best I can.

Trance, any word
from our adoring fans?

They've just popped
out of slipstream.

They're two light
minutes behind us,

out of weapons range,
but just barely.

As long as they
can't catch us.

Best speed to
Hasturi's asteroid.

This will have to be an
in-and-out operation.

Hey! My favorite kind.

Ladies and germ, on your left,
Hasturi's World.

Right next to the galaxy's
biggest ball of twine.

Perfect.

Hasturi left
the power on

and everything's
still pressurized.

Wow. The lights are on

and nobody's been home
for over a hundred years.

The guy must've
been brilliant.

I don't get it, though.

There must be kilometers
of tunnels in this rock.

I mean, why go
to all the trouble?

Maybe he was
afraid of the dark.

Must've been a rough
trip to Tarn Vedra.

Look, we can gape
at the scenery later.

Right now,
we have to find

the mad Perseid's
sanctum sanctorum.

Our pursuers can't
be far behind

and we all know
what that means.

That you're gonna get down
on your knees and beg for

for mercy like
a little girl?

There are two kinds of people
in this universe, Mr. Harper.

The kind with loaded guns,
and the kind who open doors.

You open doors.

Fine. Fine.

Allow me to work
the old Harper magic.

Open sez me.

Good for you!

I think it's this way.

Now, if I remember correctly,
wasn't Hasturi a paranoid.

Yes. Like the purple girl in
a room full of rocking chairs.

So, shouldn't he
have set some traps?

I am sorry, my dear.
Old habits die hard.

It's all right.

Okay, this way.

Screw this! I'm
not gonna be killed

by some stupid trap to
help you find *my* diary.

Mr. Harper!

Oh, for crying out loud,
go ahead and shoot!

If I gotta be killed,

it's gonna be over my fame
and fortune, not yours.

So, excuse me. I got a
diary to go find. Trance?

But, Harper,
we need you.

Yeah, to step on
a plasma mine.

Set off your own traps.

On the other hand, maybe
we should stick together!

Run for your lives!
But let me go first!

H-h-hey, guys. Aren't you
a long way from the casino?

...

Well, allow me to
provide you with a

small down payment
in hot lead!

I don't understand.

Why am I the only one
who attracts bullets?

Oh, that's our High
Guard ECM generators.

They mess up smart
bullets really bad.

Trance!

Are you out of
your freakin' mind?

I presume you
mean that?

Yeah. We both have one.

How nice... for me.

Gimme.

Make my happy thought
come true.

You dead.
That's my happy thought.

You are the one

vulnerable to weapons fire.

I would suggest you
save your own life

before you try to
deprive me of mine.

Now move.

Well they've stopped shooting
at us. I think they're dead.

Maybe they finally
decided to cooperate.

Keep working.

Fine. Fine. FINE.
Sorry.

Now, sometimes,

it's more important
to understand

why things work
instead of how.

You see, these doors.......

And why is this
important, class?

Because power pressurizes
the whole enchilada.

Faster, genius, faster.

Relax.

This door's solid
fluorine mesh.

They're not
getting through it

unless they're
packing nukes.

Now, as I was saying...oh...

Hey, how you doin'?

The thing is, what's
been pressurized

can be DE-pressurized.

That giant sucking
sound you hear

is Reaper and company
leaving the building.

You are a very
bad person.

You're welcome.

Now let's move on
to the main course

so we can get
off this rock.

This is it.
Hasturi's lair.

Yeah, judging by the,
uh, dead Perseid

with the hole in his head,
I'd say you're right.

Yes,

Hasturi's story seems to
have an unhappy ending.

Whoa, I guess paranoid
people really do have enemies.

A dead Nietzschean.

I'm gonna go look
for that diary.

Trance will find it.

You, stay there.

You know, you catch more
flies with honey than vinegar,

though I don't know why
you'd want to catch flies.

They're actually
quite dirty little things.

Just find the diary.

Right. Finding it.

Thank you.

If I was a diary of a
mad Perseid explorer,

where would I hide?

Take your time.

My trigger finger
never gets tired.

And if it does, well,

I won't shed any tears.

I would. For both of you.

You know, as much
as I enjoy these long,

lingering looks into
your beady little eyes,

I don't think I'm ready
for a relationship.

I found it.

I have your
ECM generator.

At this range, my
aim is pretty good.

I just got word
from the Council.

And?

Nice work.
The Perseid's are back on board.

You know, they may
not understand appeals

to their better
natures, but insults...

insults they take to heart.

Well, it was a team effort.

Captain and first officer.

You set 'em up and
I knocked 'em down.

Chinheads didn't
stand a chance.

The Commonwealth
thanks you.

I didn't do it for
the Commonwealth.

I did it 'cause you're my
friend and you needed me.

- Is that right?
- Uh-huh.

Well, what do you
have without friendship?

Ummm, guys?
It's been, like

twenty minutes now,
and I'm really getting bored.

How 'bout this?
I'm going to count to three...

and on three,

you're going to get up,
put your guns down,

and we're going to talk
about this like adults.

Great.

This'll be much better
than yoshidono.

Okay.

One.

Two.

Trance!

She's quick.

Very.

I am so sick of
this, you two.

With your violence
and your threats

and your shooting stuff!

Neither of you gets it, do you?

There isn't enough love
in the universe as it is,

and you're both just
helping to kill off what's left.

So shape up!

Because if you don't show
each other a little peace,

love, and understanding,

I am going to kill you both.

Trance, you
don't mean that!

I do.

You know why? 'Cause
I could get away with it

because I'm cute.

You wouldn't.

Oh.

Dylan,

it was so horrible.
They just...

they killed each other
right in front of me.

And I tried to stop them,
really I tried, but I couldn't.

By the sacred light, she's right.

I can just see that
High Guard fossil now,

hugging herand saying
"Trance, it'll be ok."

While we lay here dead.

Drop your guns now!

Or in a few days, Rev Bem's
going to find me on the Obs Deck...

and console me
on my tragic loss.

Drop our guns?

Indubitably.

Good. Very good.

Now, move!

So,

you get the diary

and I get nothing
once again.

Am I wrong to feel

vaguely disappointed?

No. You get something,

the warm feeling of
knowing that you did good.

We're docked.
Thought you might like to know.

This is it, then.
The big goodbye.

Are you sure you
won't come with me?

We could tour all the casinos
in the known worlds.

Croupiers everywhere

would tremble
at the sound of our names.

Mmmmm...
maybe another time.

You know,
I really am sorry I shot you.

I know you don't believe me,

but it's true.

Wait. I want to
give you something.

Here.

Anesterian Tundra Flowers?

The most efficient oxygen
producer ever discovered?

I thought they were extinct!

If I could get these three

to reproduce, I
can repay my debts.

I might even...

You know, this is, um,...

the nicest thing

anyone has
ever done for me.

Thank you.

You're welcome...

Everyone deserves
a second chance.

But only one.

Or as many as they need.

Move!

There's another crisis on Sintii!
We've got five minutes!

Again? What now?

Segaria Beach.
Celebration for a job well done.

But we need to get our butts
planished before the sun goes down.

Come on. Move!
Go go go!

Hey, Trance.

I know I got a little carried
away back there, and...

I'm glad you talked
some sense into me.

But you weren't really
gonna shoot me... were ya?

Absolutely not.

Not any more than
you were gonna

really shoot Gerentex.
Right?

Right.

So. Still friends?

Best friends.

Good.

You know what you've done, don't you?

You've kissed off our entire tundra
flower monopoly, our best commodity.

No, I haven't.

I gave Gerentex a beautiful
thing to call his own.

Beautiful things can make sad
people happy and bad people good.

When you think about it

beautiful things can
change the universe.